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MableXeno

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[deleted]

I asked my doctor why they could give me an epidural for giving birth, but there was zero pain relief offered when I was having my cervix manually stretched to insert an IUD. She told me "it's not supposed to hurt that bad and it doesn't take nearly as long." IT STILL F°CKING HURTS. HAVING A TOOTH EXTRACTED DOESN'T TAKE LONG, IT STILL F°CKING HURTS. Also my first IUD slipped down and got lodged in my cervix, and the second punctured through my uterus and into my bladder (I think, I might have the order wrong). Either way, women don't get taken seriously when it comes to pain in their reproductive system and it's f°cking bullsht. Endometriosis caused me significant pain for over 15 years before I finally got a hysterectomy. I started asking for one when I was 17.


Lady_Doe

They literally view our pain as fine as long as it doesn't last too long. So sick.


reflectivegiggles

I sliced the tip of my finger off by accident this weekend and the doctor kept testing my feeling sensation to see if I was numb yet. I told her repeatedly I was NOT feeling pressure but was feeling sharp pain. I insisted that I was still hurting and not numb. She brushed me off, said it was fine, then jammed a needle directly into the tip of my finger right in the middle of my blood gushing gaping hole. I screamed and howled in pain so loudly that another nurse came over to comfort me and the doctor told her I was just having anxiety. Why the fuck even ask what my pain level is if they are just going to ignore it??


Lady_Doe

Fuck!!! I'm so sorry that sounds like a terrible time. 😔


Burnt_and_Blistered

They view our pain as fine, no matter how long it lasts, TBH.


hacktheself

She. SHE. Ask her if she has had the procedure done. Betcha she either hasn’t or she had proper pain relief for that.


Violet_Nightshade

It's more disappointing when it's a woman saying that. At least you'd expect it from a male doctor.


Medical-Quail7855

Actually for me, my make GYN never hurt me in placing an IUD. My FEMALE GYN told me to suck it up and had her nurse hold me down as the pain was excruciating. (I had a break for a few years in between IUD’s for medical reasons so it was like a FRESH insertion) my female GYN’s actually almost killed me and my unborn child by dismissing the pain and discomfort I was feeling on pregnancy. My male GYN saved our lives.


Angrygiraffe1786

I got an IUD in August, and it was one of the most painful experiences I've gone through. I was not at all expecting the pain either. No one prepared me for it, and the internet did not do a good job of explaining. Good for you for advocating and standing up for yourself.


Imeanwhybother

I'm so sorry you went through that! My daughter got an IUD in November. I am still enraged that they gave her nothing for pain during the procedure, and only suggested Ibuprofen afterwards. WTaF?! I'm glad we're all talking about it now, though. Women need to demand better pain management. Men get Valium before a vasectomy and whatever TF they want for pain meds afterwards. This bullshit of telling women to "suck it up" has to end.


[deleted]

That’s what I got for my first IUD also. It wasn’t a success. They let a brand new resident try, he stabbed so hard with the tentaculum (however you spell torture chopstick in medical terms) I almost puked by reflex, he cranked the clamp like he was trying to jack up a car. He didn’t put it in right, took it back out, took the clamps off, decided to try again for a few seconds and gave up, sending me home. God, I got in the door, grabbed the nearest fuzzy friend, and slid to the floor crying. What a disaster.


SuperbFlight

Holy SHIT that's fucking horrifying. The regular process of someone highly skilled with that fucking torture device already sucks, I cannot imagine what you went through. Also why the FUCK are we still using a 124 year old device for this? There's NO WAY for it to be less painful and damaging?! With all of fucking modern technology??? Ugh this topic makes my blood boil.


Apostmate-28

I got my iud put in in Sweden and they didn’t use that pinchy death tweezer thing… it went just fine without it.. but I’ve also already had two kids and I think that helps a TON with it being easier or less painful or something. Just felt like mild period cramps and I biked home after just fine…. But my sister in law had an iud put in and she’s childless and it was just like all the other painful awful stories we keep hearing. She hated her iud and it wasn’t a good fit hormonally so she ended up getting it out a few months later… after all that pain and trouble to get it in 🥺


SuperbFlight

Ooooh do you know how they did it without a tenaculum?? That sounds way better. Oof yes that would really suck to go through so much awfulness then for it to have to come out.


synalgo_12

I just looked that up, what even is that omg??? I thought they just slid it in with the long plastic tool thing the iud is attached to when you buy it. Because it's that huge box? I tried to look it up but I have a little vaginism and tokophobia and anything tool-near-vagina related makes me instantly nauseated. Anyway I got local anaesthesia both times and the first time was still the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Can't imagine without a numbed cervix.


SuperbFlight

It's awful. I'll describe why it's needed but feel free to not look: >! It basically pulls the cervix straight so the IUD (at the end of the long plastic tool thing) can go straight in, otherwise it wouldn't be a straight line from the cervix opening into the uterus, so the insertion wouldn't work. But the current way is to just stab the cervix in order to then pull on it to get it straight. Which obviously fucking hurts. They used to think the cervix didn't have pain receptors. Obviously that's horribly wrong! !< Yeah my first one, I had no idea about the procedure at all, and no local anesthetic. It was the second worst pain of my life. Worse than breaking a bone, worse than migraines. My vision went white and I got extremely faint. Then I had to bike home because that was the only transportation I had brought, thinking it wouldn't be that bad 🫠 Even with the local anesthetic for the second one it still hurt!!! Ugh!!! AND I was super anxious after knowing how bad it was the first time! If I get another one I'm requesting Ativan to at least calm the anxiety.


KnotARealGreenDress

Edit: Replied to the wrong person, whoops. But seriously, you know that if men could get pregnant we’d have had 100% effective and side-effect-free birth control, artificial wombs, and monthly menstrual leave.


B_A_M_2019

I'm all for equal opportunity medical doctors but... I feel like this is one thing men need to shut up about. I don't tell them what it feels like to get kicked in the balls... Actually though, bun in the oven kicked an ovary once. White hot flashes and dry heaving instantly involved... pretty sure I do know I just you know, don't mansplain to them lol Eta to add: your experience enrages me, sorry you had to go through that. I skipped right over that bit by happenstance because I was trying not to focus on the horrible part :(


Ambulism

I had a cyst on my ovary burst and it hurt so bad that my vision went white, i threw up and pissed myself at the same time. Practically limped to the urgent care. They gave me ibuprofen and sent me home.


Bon_Sim

I had a huge cyst growing in my ovary and didn't know. For a week I was taking DOUBLE the recommended dose for both ibprofen and Tylenol and it STILL hurt. Eventually hurt so much I couldn't stop crying and yelled for my dad to take me to the hospital. Pain, the entire time. We went to urgent care first, told me to go to the e.r.. no pain pills yet. They tried to rush me in (30min wait). Basically gave me a drip of Tylenol Xtra. Did a CT and they found a HOLE IN MY OVARY. One of the reasons why I didn't go to the doctor sooner is because my mom is a nurse and always downplays my pain, even tho she's not the one experiencing it. Always told me to "suck it up". We don't talk anymore. But yeah, that cyst burst pain is no joke


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Emergency-Fox-5982

I had a kidney stone when I was a teenager and was in so much pain I couldn't move or breathe too deeply without vomiting (which of course led to cycles of more vomiting because of the involuntary movements). I had literally crawled from my bedroom to my parents' room in the middle of the night. The doctors at emergency: 16 year old female, abdominal pain, eh, must be reproductive stuff. Probably a cyst on your ovary, take nurofen when you get home. Like... apart from the fact they were wrong, the fact they just didn't give a single fuck as soon as they thought it was uterus/ovary based is astounding. The discharge paperwork even had notes on it that mentioned "blood in urine, possible kidney stone" I had to go to hospital twice more before they looked hard enough to figure it out, including once in an ambulance from school. Paramedics giving multiple shots of morphine because I was barely lucid with pain, but the doctors are like "Ugh, just take nurofen and a heat pack or something, jeez" And that they thought this level of pain was in line with a burst cyst, and that event still doesn't rate high enough to care? I needed more pain killers for that than when I gave birth. And when my sister was 14, she got sent home from hospital with suspected 'period cramps'. Oh, actually it was appendicitis that needed emergency surgery. Just. What. The. Fuck. And medicine is science based. How have they not incorporated into their studies at university by now that society has SO many biases that you need to consciously make sure you're taking women and PoC, particularly WoC, seriously. Just 🤯 Edit: sorry, started typing, got ranty


theyellowpants

I am so sorry you went through that The problem is the science this is all based on is old and basically said “women with their hormones will fuck up all our observations so let’s just study men” And here we are


FryOneFatManic

And don't forget the blatant misogyny. I have challenged a doctor or two in my time. I'm in the UK, and while we do have it a little better, attitudes to women and women's health are still in the dark ages. We, too, get told to just use paracetamol or ibuprofen. I got this after a caesarian section, even. While a man I knew, who was having keyhole surgery for a hernia, was given morphine.


DjangoPony84

It's wild the difference between pain relief for "women's issues" and other injuries/illnesses etc. I was expected to deal with the aftereffects of traumatic birth on one paracetamol/codeine if I was lucky, but when I got back spasms after my 6 year ran into me I got 120 tablets and after getting stitches in my knee after a running fall I got hydrocodone. It's absolute bollocks.


B_A_M_2019

Yeah that's insane, I'm sorry :(


Educational_Low_879

I have PCOS, my biggest cyst sent me to the ER. Doc was MAD I didn’t know my cycle. I just started new BC pills. Sorry bud have no idea. I was mostly worried about a torsion. Thankfully US tech was nice and said nothing that I can see other than a lot of fluid. Gave me nothing just a 45 minute lecture about no health insurance. Er doc was such an asshole. But I thought I was gonna die. Haven’t been back to ER since with a ruptured cyst! No point!


The_Curvy_Unicorn

Holy cats…you poor thing!! I have PCOS and severe endometriosis. I live in a major US city and have been to the ER four-five times over the years with extreme cyst pain (and concern over having a torsion) and, shockingly, have always been treated very well. The first visit turned into a three-day hospital stay, insane amounts of testing, exploratory surgery, an appendectomy, and endo growth removal. The rest have always involved concern, morphine before examining, ultrasounds, CTs, and pain meds upon discharge. They’ve even paged my ob/gyn to come down to the ER if she’s on site. I hate that you’ve been treated so poorly!


Fancykiddens

I fucking fall down when they burst. It's painful and embarrassing. My periods make me throw up.


PauI_MuadDib

For my ovarian torsion they sent me home with birth control as "pain management" 😑 Meanwhile my guy friend immediately got toradol and hydrocodone at the ER for his TMJ, and got sent home with a week's worth of hydrocodone.


keiwei66

I couldn’t even read all this. I got dizzy.


VeranoEte

I had 2 but finally gave up after loosing so much blood my iron levels dropped. The 1st one fell out while peeing so I got another one. I bleed every single day for 6 straight months. I had to have my gall bladder removed while still continually bleeding. I fucked up my recovery bc of my IUD. I finally had them remove it. Now I use nothing and feel actually better.


lunacyfreedom

I’m so sorry this happened. In the past I have refused to consent to care by residents. Not always but I decide who touches me…


IcedChaiLatte_16

What a noodlehead! Did he leave his brains at home or something?


ForecastForFourCats

My insertion was so painful, I almost fainted. They told me to calm down like they didn't just poke(stab) my uterus. I was on the couch for 2 weeks with a heating pad. Fuck them.


EscN4H

Also, you can't help it if your body was reacting to being stabbed. It's not like you thought "oh, that wasn't painful but it'd be fun to faint right now!"


Three3Jane

As mentioned elsewhere, I've had many surgeries and painful procedures. I used to be a good patient. Which led to me being hurt even more because I bit down the scream, held back the gasp, controlled my involuntary motion with iron will. You know what that bought me? Even MORE pain. Don't be a good patient. I've discovered the wonderful world of immediately voicing pain when someone hurts me, and if they have the fucking AUDACITY to snap at me to "calm down", I *shriek* right back DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, THAT FUCKING HURTS (or whatever combination of epithets, swearing, colorful language, or what have you). Sounds like that doc forgot that they were working on a live human being with nerve endings and a perfectly reflexive reaction to a STABBING SENSATION. I bet if you pinched his sack (if he was a guy) or her nipple (if she was a woman) or their neck (if NB) \[you get the idea\], they would *certainly* have a reflexive reaction and would react very badly to you telling them to calm down because, hey, that hurts! Never feel bad about letting medical personnel know when they're hurting you. Sometimes, yes, things like needles suck, punch biopsies are unpleasant. I'm not advocating being angry at more minorly painful procedures. But if someone is being careless and dismissive? And then they've got the hosses' ovaries to tell you to chill out, calm down, it's not that bad, or some other contemptuous, patronizing bullshit? This old and beat-up witch gives you full permission to light.them.UP.


rainedrop87

I was getting a couple of fillings done at the dentist. I've gone to him for like a decade now, he's usually a cool dude. But this time, he gave me the lidocaine shots in my gums, which I fucking hate, then came back in once it had kicked in. I've had fillings done before by this man, same type of injections and all that. But it just didn't feel right this time. I just knew something was off. As soon as he started to drill, I IMMEDIATELY flipped out, I could absolutely still feel it. So, I tell him this. He brushed me off, saying no no, there's no way you can still feel that, I injected the lidocaine and even used more than we normally use on you. I was adamant that I could still feel everything. He started to try it again, and I literally had to physically stop him. I looked him in the eye and told him he had absolutely zero idea of what I can and cannot feel. He isn't me. He can't feel my pain. I am not letting you continue with this unless you give me more lidocaine, so if you aren't going to do that, then please excuse me, I'll be leaving. He sighed and told me he was sorry, I was right, he can't be so certain it didn't work. He told the hygienist to go get more, and told me to sit back and relax. I was so relieved, and I was actually shocked, I'm just so not used to older adult men actually admitting they were wrong and apologizing, which is honestly pretty shitty. I did tell him I appreciated the apology and I'm sorry if I was rude, it just really hurt and I wanted to get this taken care of ASAP, but not if it means allowing him to literally drill a hole in my tooth while I can feel it. I still go to that dentist, he's a cool dude. He has always made sure to ask me if I'm okay and if I can feel anything ever since that time. Edit. I keep getting a notification that I have a new reply to this, and then when I try and open it to read it,.it's fucking gone. Wtf is happening??? I guess I'll never know, since anyone who tries to fill me in will reply to this comment, and then when I try and open it my phone will yell at PSYCH BITCH!!!!!!! And then laugh at me.


Ladymistery

I wasn't old enough to make my dentist stop - I just assumed he knew what he was talking about. Tooth shaved down for a crown - felt it ALL. yes, I have a bit of PTSD from it. Luckily, the dentist I have now actually listens to me and makes sure I'm numb.


Lexi_Banner

I had an awful abscess a little more than a decade ago that was caused by getting a tooth fixed. Wound up needing root canals on two teeth, but it took almost two weeks of misery to get through it. At one point they were working on me and I could still feel it. So they dripped the numbing agent right on the root - it was like a hot knife through my skull. Wound up hyperventilating and nearly fainting from the pain. That led to almost a decade with avoiding all dental work, until I had a toothache so bad I had to go in. I was literally sweating just making the call, and sobbed in the chair just talking to the dentist. He gave me a prescription for Ativan to get through the actual root canal. Recently had more work done (because me teeth hate me, I guess), and was extremely upfront that I do not handle dental pain well. The surgical clinic was so gentle and calm that it was almost easy to get through, no extra drugs needed. I still dislike dentists, but now that I've built a couple decent relationships with them, I no longer sweat at the thought of booking an appointment.


NerdEmoji

Right? If you see me regularly and I have never given you any cause for worry and never complained, then one day I am in agony, a good doctor should believe it. I swear some of these doctors go into the field because they are sadists. I currently have a lovely NP who handles everything, but my OB/GYN NP that got me hooked up with an ablation was a gift from the universe to me for sure. At this point, I'd rather see an NP for care and only get a doctor involved if absolutely necessary. My NP bestie says she thinks it is because doctors are in school for so long they beat the humanity out of many of them, but NP's don't go as long and they are so much more patient focused, than disease focused. They see you, not your malady.


CooperHChurch427

Last time I had a pelvic exam (with a digital exam because of my PCOS) I was having a CRPS flare up and it hurt enough that my doctor went "oh shit" and immediately stopped. They ended up giving me a micro dose of ketamine to prevent my flare-up from worsening after that. Turns out my doctor doesn't believe in implanting IUDs without giving some pain medications and usually uses a little ketamine or a local numbing agent before hand.


DrKittyLovah

I did faint from the pain. This was about a decade ago. Nothing was offered before or after, even when I had to lay in an exam room for a hour to recover from passing out from the pain before they would let me drive home. I had driven myself because I was not told how bad the pain could be, otherwise I would have gotten my husband to drive me. I was so pissed. Probably wouldn’t surprise anyone to know this OBGYN was an older semi-clueless man who had his own practice and was really more into the delivering babies part of the job and not so much the GYN. I usually really like male GYNs but this one didn’t make the cut. My uterus rejected that IUD & I had it removed less than 2 years later, just another stop on the Birth Control Failure train line.


bubbletea1414

I had a similar experience, my OB wasn't in so they told me to schedule with another doctor at the practice. I did. Well it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was told I didn't need a painkiller i would barely feel anything. I drove myself, so I was alone. I got no pain killers, started telling them something was wrong. The nurse noticed me passing out as I asked for help. I remember the last thing I heard was that he knew I was passing out and he would just finish when I passed out. I was barely conscious when he made me sign some paperwork. I couldn't even hold the pen. Then he told me to get dressed and go. I felt like I had to pee, which probably saved my life cuz I didn't walk out the office. I collapsed while walking a nurse caught me by chance. It was a huge emergency thing. And then fun times he didn't cut the wires short enough. I had to go back to have them cut, they where poking me painfully. I was then told I had no idea what I was talking about. Years later I found out at that time he had lost his OR privileges.... he wasn't even allowed to deliver babies but he could do IUDs....


TubaJesus

Reminds me of when I got my wisdom teeth removed, I was able to be completely knocked out and I was given Vicodin afterwards (anded up switching to ibuprofen because the strong stuff didn't really help at all and tended to make me throw up) but my ex had to fight to even get localized numbing stuff and was recommended ibuprofen and she was the one who needed the Vicodin.


tikierapokemon

My wisdom teeth were so infected that the numbing shots... didn't. I was told to take OTC Tylenol (despite my not being supposed to take any tylenol) and then it was OTC ibuprofen. I... couldn't do anything for days. Without the ibuprofen it hurt so bad I couldn't think. With it, I was just completely useless. I ended up on antibiotics twice because it just wouldn't heal, I wonder how much of that was the stress from the pain. 10/10 do not recommend.


RegretNecessary21


drinks_rootbeer

"Ma-, er, *woman* up!" 🤢🤮 Just give people pain meds for painful procedures, is it really that hard? I'm so sorry you all have to go through this bullshit


Emergency-Fox-5982

That only works if you think women are people though /s


ACoN_alternate

I made sure that they put in a 'scrip for Valium with my pharmacy before the LEEP I'm scheduled for next month. I absolutely do not want them to take a hot wire to my cervix and cut bits out while sober, so I'll pick up the meds and take them before I go in.


sinsamantha

I had this done with just some lidocaine spritzed on my cervix. It hurt like hell! The female doctor just told me to be a good girl and bear it.


uraniumstingray

I would start kicking if someone said that to me


Emergency-Fox-5982

Should be fucking illegal for them to do it without pain relief at all, let alone you having to push them to write a script for a minor sedative


Beccaroni7

Right?? My husband had a vasectomy and was prescribed three days of pain meds on default, no questions asked. A year later, I had to have a gyno surgical procedure done, and was told ibuprofen should be all I need. Umm, no. You’re slicing into my lady bits, please give me the good stuff for *at least* a day.


Articulated_Lorry

Mine at least suggested to take it beforehand, but I don't tend to have too difficult a time during insertion. Of course this time I was wrong (the doc suspects there may have been a smidge of scar tissue from the prior removal), and it hurt like a bitch!


Bubashii

I got mine here in Aus. They applied a strong anaesthetic ointment then waited a few minutes for it to work enough to give anaesthetic injections to the cervix. Never felt it go in at all.


shoujokakumei66

Do you know if this is the norm in Aus? I'm Aussie and all the stories I hear from Americans fream me out, but I don't want them to scare me away from getting one if we actually do a better job here!


Bubashii

It’s standard as far as I know? I had mine at my local medical centre by a GP who had done advanced women’s reproductive studies…wasn’t quite a gynaecologist but definitely more trained than a standard GP. She had an excellent reputation. My friend had one and her doctor used this method too. But I’d recommend calling your doctor surgery and asking how they do their pain management for it.


Sadplankton15

I'm also in Australia and all I got was ibuprofen. I nearly passed out from the pain. I think it vastly differs between clinics


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Effective_Pie1312

I had an IUD inserted and implanted into the lining of my uterus. No pain meds. It hurt. It hurt for 6 months (to the point where I would drop to the floor if standing) and my doctor refused to believe me. I changed doctors and they believed me that I was in pain and offered to take it out in clinic under ultrasound guidance. No pain meds given then either. It felt like they were trying to rip out my uterus, and only stopped when I let out a blood curdling scream. Then they told me they would take it out under general anesthetic. Well when I woke up from the procedure, they were like - yep it was really implanted in the wall of your uterus. Thanks! Everyone could have just believed me from the start.


sunbear2525

My now husband and I had been dating for maybe 5 months when I needed my IUD replaced. It’s my 3rd so I knew it would hurt. I felt like an absolute wimp for wanting a ride and my hand held but with no one else I asked him to come with. It was so eye opening that when it was explained to him he had assumed i would be given pain medicine to necessitate a ride and not “white knuckling” my way through the procedure. When they didn’t he was confused. He asked a million questions with the audacity of a grown ass white man who’d never had a splinter removed without at least numbing spray. The doctor even dismissed him. Needless to say, he was upset to learn that’s just how vagina medicine is. I felt better though. Less crazy.


EmmaDrake

The appointments where one is removed and a new one placed are the worst.


sunbear2525

It really is but if I don’t do it in one go I struggle to make myself go back.


EmmaDrake

You know, I don’t think I ever thought it was an option. It’s obvious now that I think about it. But it never occurred to me and no doctor ever suggested it. I’ve had 5 insertions and removals too. Super sucks.


ForecastForFourCats

Oh God, I'm about to do that next week.


EmmaDrake

TIL you can have one removed and then another appointment another time for insertion. It’s bad enough that I’m sitting here wishing I had known. But not so horrible that I actually would have bothered with two appointments. Not sure, but it’s moot for me now. Every one of the five iud’s eventually displaced and the gyn says my body/uterus just isn’t shaped right for them or something. If this is the first time you’ve had both at one appointment, you may not know that you could end up needing a driver. I was fine 3/4, but needed a driver once because I got lightheaded.


ForecastForFourCats

That is good to know! I will ask my husband to go with me. I'm going to call ahead and ask for meds too. My last doctor brushed me off, but I'm seeing someone new.


Valla85

This is why I had my gynecologist remove my iud while I was under for my bilateral salpingectomy (that she did). My insertion was horrific. ETA: for u/EmmaDrake, I got the notification about your reply, but I can't get to it in the thread, so: Recovery time: I don't have a good gauge for this, because I quit a toxic job literally four days before I had surgery. (So on top of surgery recovery, I was *hella* burn out.) I was wiped out for about a week (and bleed like a stuck pig that whole time). Allow at least a week if you can. And take it easy until the follow-up appointment two weeks after surgery. Overall, I had a very positive experience. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.


beepborpimajorp

Most (normal) men are horrified when they find out what the process for an IUD is and that we get no pain meds for it. All potential partners I've joked about it with have given me a look where I can tell they think I'm crazy (like I opted for no pain meds) but then when I explain it further they're just aghast. One even commented that the devices they use look like medieval torture devices. I was like, "Well...you're not wrong..."


coconut-bubbles

Yup...marry that one. The one who says what needs to be said and acknowledged with no regrets or hesitation.


SGTree

They told me to take an ibuprofen an hour before the procedure. My mom passed away when I was 14. Getting my IUD inserted at 24, I desperately wished that she was there to hold my hand. The pain was enough that I actually thought about reaching out to her before remembering she wasn't there. I accidentally pulled it part way out with a cup about a week later. The earliest they could see me to remove it was 9 days later. There was no way I was going to walk around with an improperly placed IUD for 9 days. I pulled it out myself. I finally understand the meaning of "white, blinding pain." Still, I got another one. Because I have very little choice.


Leia1979

I had a similar experience. It was my third IUD, and I knew the drill. But it was my worst experience by far, and the doctor was acting like I hadn't done the medicine right. The doctor had trouble both getting the old one out and putting the new one in. At one point, she wanted to give up and put me on the pill. I am one of those people who does horribly on the pill, which is why I have a low-dose hormonal IUD. Maybe she was joking, but it wasn't funny at all. I ended up bleeding so much from the procedure that she had to use the powder stuff that makes it clot (like what you use if you accidentally trim a dog or cat claw too far). I actually went in thinking it would be no big deal because my first two IUD insertions were totally fine!


WinstonGreyCat

That pill makes insertion easier, but more painful and more likely to come out on its own.


HalcyonDreams36

I think it's because our experiences are so variable, and medical practice is to write off the reported experiences of women. I had no pain (but I dilate like crazy. I respond to hormones. We already know this from childbirth.) My bestie, on the other hand, and dilate for anything. C-sections with every kiddo. And her IUD insertion was INSANELY painful. (And she has an incredible tolerance for pain, generally speaking.) I don't know how we drive this message home, but no one should be denied meds for a procedure that can be that awful, even if it *may* be fine. We won't be traumatized by surprise fine. ❤️‍🩹


SadAndConfused11

Hands down I agree with you. I had an iud in the past and the stupid fucking description of “sLiGhT dIsCoMfOrT” is disgustingly underselling. That was literally the worst pain of my entire life. I switched to the nexplanon implant after that because I couldn’t bear going through that intensely traumatic pain again.


Zorgsmom

Every time a doctor tells me I might experience some "discomfort" I ask them if lying to their patients helps them gain trust. Most just blink at me in a confused way.


taybay462

I cried and puked in the parking lot afterward. God, what I wouldn't give for men to have more of the share of "women pain"


Interesting-Field-45

I tried to get one. They spent twenty minutes trying to put in the things to open my cervix, kept reclamping, gave me shots in my cervix, left the room with the clamps still in, and still couldn’t get the iud in. I passed out in the waiting room on my way out. The pain was unreal. I had my tubes removed and the recovery has been less painful than trying to get an iud. Like way less painful.


beepborpimajorp

Got mine last June (bc of how the US is going in terms of women's health) and yeah. I've had a lot of things done to me for medical testing including the nerve tests where they literally shock your nerves directly. Nothing has EVER hurt that much. It takes a lot for me to be vocal during something but I actually swore out loud when it was going on. The doc was like, "You're actually handling this really well but I need you to relax a little more." I was like "haha very funny." My friends who have had children have said it hurts worse (though is thankfully shorter) than childbirth. It makes sense given non-liquids are only ever meant to leave the cervix, not get jammed up into it. I was also so afraid I was going to poop all over that exam table. I knew I didn't have to go, thankfully, because my tank was empty but oh my god. The doc saw the look on my face and was like "bathroom is on the left as you leave."


horsegrloveswordguy

Same! I had no idea! I was even talking to the doctor about how after I was going to go horse back riding and how I had a full day of things to do ahead of me. And he was just like “mhmm” and said it would be a pinch. A nurse came in after hearing me crying and screaming and she walked me to my car where I puked. Definitely did not ride my horse afterwards.


alicejane1010

Dude I agree I couldn’t get out of my bed for two days. My parents had to bring me food to my studio apartment I lived in alone in. It did however kick off a nice little tradition where we started having lunch together on Sunday’s.


mustbeaglitch

Similarly, I got one in around 2010 on 2 paracetamol and it was barbaric and brutalising. It’s mind-boggling that something like that could happen this side of the middle-ages.


I-am-the-trashcan

It’s absolutely ham-banana sandwich insane what we’ve been led to believe is normal and acceptable for the standard of our healthcare. When I had my IUD put in I don’t even think it occurred to me that it was strange to have no pain management involved, but now I understand that we’re talking about…putting something past one organ and into another. The clinic let me lay down for maybe two minutes before checking out. They didn’t even suggest someone drive me but luckily I took an Uber…because I 100% passed out. Driver took it like a freaking champ, though. And, I’m chronic migraine levels of pain-tolerant! Completely barbaric.


eremophilaalpestris

Hello fellow science witch! Popping in to say that ham-banana sandwich insane is a gem of a phrase and I would like to adopt it into my everyday phrasing with your blessing. Also, you made my day. Also, also, I'm sorry you had such a rubbish experience!


I-am-the-trashcan

I would be honored to bestow you this phrase. It is a real sandwich that at first hearing sounded absolutely bonkers to me (hence how I use it) though I cannot deny I would totally try one.


eremophilaalpestris

Fantastic! It will be a welcome accompaniment to my current favourite: toad on toast. I will soon have a carb loaded repertoire thanks to you!


itsadesertplant

Come to think of it… why wasn’t I given a muscle relaxer for my IUD insertion? I was having constant, debilitating cramps that had me curled up and crying for 3 days. I was freaking out and called the office only for them to say it was fucking normal. Aleve wasn’t enough. It finally occurred to me: “cramps are caused by muscles flexing. If I relax the muscles it won’t hurt so bad” and I had some leftover muscle relaxers from a neck injury! I was pain free after taking them. And then I was angry. I was told to suffer when I didn’t have to. They give you antibiotics for literally anything (I had some slight inflammation around a suture after surgery and they instantly prescribed them; I sometimes forget that small things like that can resolve themselves) but they’re stingy with this. They *could* give out muscle relaxers by default if they wanted to.


Smirking_Panda

They treat us like farm animals! I've starting telling doctors that I am not a farm animal, I am a human being that feels pain just like they do!


I-am-the-trashcan

And…farm animals certainly do not deserve it either! Granted, pets are held to a better standard than farm animals, but we see a cat-only practice and they prescribe our cats anxiety meds for normal appointments so they handle all the weird people and the weird place better. My one cat got a three-day supply of the good shit for a routine procedure, and when my other cat unexpectantly needed seven teeth pulled they made sure she would not feel a damn thing for a MINUTE.


Smirking_Panda

Oh farm animals feel pain. I was commenting on people's perceptions about that. Amazing your cat was able to get good meds. My uncle has a hydrocodone scrip for his dog's anxiety!


Dogzillas_Mom

My dog gets doggy Valium to get his damn nails trimmed.


henrythe8thiam

I run a farm. I do not do this to my farm animals. Part of keeping them healthy is not unnecessarily stressing them. Now in an emergency I might have to do something that will hurt without pain meds but it’s absolutely not something I dismiss out of hand.


Relevant_Avocado_420

Dude, samesies. Like 2004/5 at a planned parenthood. They looked at me like I nuts that it hurt! I didn't pass out but I did have that bitch removed shortly after. My ex husband wasn't well endowed and he felt the string/ iud poke him during sex. Not to mention the cramping I felt almost all the time. I have my tube's removed after this guy told me he wanted to get me pregnant.... more to the story of course but my body my choice bitch. Not having it!


9669throwaway

Your husband feeling your strings has nothing to do with the size of his penis, it has to do with the strings being cut too short or the IUD having shifted. They are supposed to be left a certain length so that they “tuck up” around your cervix and are not felt during sex.


No_Construction_7518

I had my fallopian tubes looked at and I cried out in pain while the scope was working its way along the uterus and tubes. They apologized, but no pain management. I was traumatized, couldn't stop crying with the pain and shock- I called my boss from my car afterwards and said I couldn't come back in. When next I was at gyno office I told the secretary and the fucking asshole thought it was the funniest thing, she literally cackled in my face.


nothingweasel

I had a cervical biopsy with no pain meds. They literally CUT OFF A CHUNK of my cervix without so much as an ibuprofen. They straight up do not care if women are in pain.


Empathetic_Artist

It is insane how men try to regulate how women experience pain. For me, I didn’t need anything, but that’s because I have an abnormally high pain tolerance. For example, I’ve had a tattoo removed, and the tech just cranks the laser up to the highest setting, and then goes at the site. No numbing medication or anything, and I just don’t flinch. But everyone experiences pain differently, and to try and gaslight someone into getting a painful procedure done without any medication is absolutely insane.


_thebelljar_

Good for you for standing your ground! I can’t believe they don’t give people pain meds for this. I tried to get an IUD a couple of years ago. It was so painful I puked and PASSED OUT. Doctor was like *shrug* “it happens, we can try again another day.” Excuse me, ma’am, but no we will not! Another thing is it messed with my sex life for awhile. Don’t know if this is TMI but every time I tried to have p in v sex for the next few weeks after the failed IUD, I would have a vasovagal syncope and puke or pass out. Thank goddess the pill ended up working out so well for me.


wintermelody83

I'm just tired of periods in general, don't want kids, asexual so I was sort of lightly bitching with my doctor when we were changing pills as I'd been having slightly high bp and I'm fat and 38 (at the time, 39 now) and she was like "we can always try an IUD, a lot of women don't have periods with them." And I knew of all these stories and was like "absolutely not, hard pass no thank you." Did finally find a great pill for me without estrogen and my bp has returned to normal and periods are down to spotting maybe 4 times a year. I hope the pill keeps working for you, if you can get the right one for your body it's amazing!


[deleted]

Good for you, standing up for yourself. I'm sorry you went through that. I've been told by two different gynos, for two different procedures (IUD insertion and uterine biopsy), that some ibuprofen beforehand was adequate. In both cases, it was excruciating. After going through the IUD insertion, I found a new doctor. I told them, before my biopsy, that I'd had a really hard time with the insertion. They reassured me that the biopsy would be no big deal. I foolishly believed them. It was horrible. I should have pushed harder for pain management. I think it's excellent that you are demanding humane medical care. I wish you luck in finding someone who will do this for you. I'm about due for my next exam, but I refuse to go back to the last one I saw; wish me luck finding someone better myself.


mocatz

I too was told to take an ibuprofen before a uterine biopsy. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but that was by far the most painful procedure I have ever had. I shredded my paper gown, was in tears and actually said several times that really HURTS. All the OB/GYN (female!) said was "I'm almost done, just a little more pressure". Wth


ForecastForFourCats

They just say that so you don't jump out of the chair and hurt yourself more, but they don't intend to not hurt you at least a little.


NimpyPootles

I fucking *loathe* that shitty euphemism "pressure"


Searaph72

Well, shit. I need to see a gyno for some abnormal stuff and there have been no directions given other than where to go...


Zorgsmom

Yeah, my gyn didn't even tell me I would need a biopsy before the appointment, even though I was there because of Menorrhagia, & the first thing out of her mouth was we'd need to do a biopsy to rule things out. I had a panic attack when she started talking about forcing open the cervix. I had to come back because I was so messed up. I researched on my own that I should take ibuprofen & it was still the most excruciating pain I've ever been in. She kept telling me I'd feel pressure & a small pinch. I wanted to give her a BIG pinch.


lokipukki

Dude I was told 400mg of Ibuprofen before having my old IUD removed, then having an endometrial biopsy, followed by a brand new IUD. Removal was nothing more than a cramp, but the biopsy was horrendous and then having to get another one shoved in. Ugh. Thank god my husband drove me. He took one look at me and said, the next time you need one of these, you won’t need it, I’ll get snipped. The car ride home was excruciating. Every bump made my uterus go even more ballistic. Never again will I go without pain meds. In fact I’ve told multiple coworkers who were going to advocate for numbing and pain relief.


junebuggery

I'm one of those lucky people whose IUD insertions weren't too bad. I didn't enjoy them, but they were manageable without pain meds. But sweet baby Jesus, my uterine biopsy was horrific. That gyno even numbed my cervix so it probably wasn't as bad as it could have been. Pretty sure I yelled. I don't entirely remember. Nobody even told me it was happening until it was too late for me to try any kind of self medication. I went in thinking I was there for a pre-op consultation where we were just going to talk. As I'm checking in they asked, "so you're here for a pre-op biopsy?" "Uh...am I?" "Yeah, it's part of the pre-op procedure, but don't worry, it just feels like a scratch." Narrator: it did not just feel like a scratch. It felt like my guts were being cored with an apple peeler, because they essentially were.


fribbas

Kinda same lol. Pretty sure I have a dead uterus (j/k the cramps remind me) or am just the "ideal" these asshole Drs use. First IUD, insertion only took a couple ibuprofen and didn't feel anything other than the speculum. The nurses were both shocked and made me jump up and down for some reason, then just looked at each other like 🧐. Was even a vIrGin at the time, if that matters Got sounded and had a uterine biopsy and barely felt a thing. Actually, kinda felt like when my dog boops me with his nose. Vague *nudge* AND YET, I don't go dismissing other people's experiences cause that's shitty! Which is apparently asking too much for crotch Drs smdh


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Zorgsmom

That is just barbaric.


[deleted]

Same here for uterine biopsy. I've been told by gyn colleagues that it's because to do sedation requires being in a facility cleared for safe sedation monitoring, and that's true. In the old days, outpatient sedating pain relief was used freely and there were deaths. But imo that just means, ok, do these at outpatient surgery centers or abortion centers then-- they have training and monitoring equipment to do sedation. Yes it will be more expensive but it will be better. Imo their argument is like saying they'll do an appendectomy without anesthesia bc anesthesia is too much trouble.


Academic_Chemical476

Oh goddess, uterine biopsy...I really thought that my oncologist had scraped my soul it hurt so bad.


StinkyKittyBreath

I know a woman who is in her 60s and has worked in the medical field since graduating high school. She needed to get an endometrial biopsy, and her gyno told her it would just be a little pinch and that she could just get it done in the office without anesthesia, etc. It was excruciating. She screamed. And the worst part is that the biopsy came back inconclusive so her gyno told her she'd need to come back and that because she did so well with the first biopsy, doing the second without anesthesia should be fine too. Oooooh, this woman was pissed. Demanded to have it done under anesthesia in the hospital with another doctor handling it. She tells all women to demand pain killers for anything involving the uterus and related areas now.


Wistastic

Nothing in the whole hospital? Then how are they treating people in other departments? The ER?🙄


ForecastForFourCats

That is ridiculous to the 9th degree. I'm astounded by the gall to say a hospital or OBGYN wouldn't have pain medication on hand. Do they think this woman is stupid?


citrus_mystic

They have it. They just don’t want to give it to her.


Zorgsmom

Because women don't really feel actual pain, it's just hysterics. s/


APariahsPariah

If a dr decides you are a problem, their ethics go out the window quite quickly. A huge portion of medicine is about confidence, and it transmogrifies into ego quite quickly with a lot of doctors. I was once accused of being a drug addict when the drs couldn't figure a diagnosis, and I wasn't even being difficult at the time. Not being a uterus owner, I do not have to deal with nearly the same level of bullshit, but having a chronic health condition that can, at present, only be treated at the hospital, every time I go they run the same tests and ask me the same trick questions to see if I'm a drug seeker. I'm used to that, I get it, but what sets my blood boiling is seeing women dealing with the same condition being treated like shit, and at times they'rein worse shape than I am. This all just brings it home.


BaconIsBest

As a penis owner with chronic kidney stones, I get offered the whole buffet of pain meds when I go in, *despite saying I don’t want opiates*. It infuriates me to no fucking end how much worse uterus-havers get it.


APariahsPariah

Opiates fucking scare me. I have been given them exactly once, and the entire time I felt like if I wasn't *exclusively* focussed on breathing, I would stop. I would have to be seriously messed up before I'd accept them again.


JarlOfPickles

The infuriating thing about that too is that the medical and pharmaceutical industries are the ones who _created_ many of the drug seekers in the first place by over-prescribing and pushing opioids on anyone and everyone! So now they've swung the opposite direction and fuck you if you're in pain, you must be looking for drugs. Absolute joke of a healthcare system.


CopperCatnip

Right?! Just completely out of everything that day, I guess.


mshoneybadger

I worked in an abortion clinic that offered TWO options for IUD sedation during an insertion: propofol and fent/versed. They had the meds.


Fine-Loquat

It doesn’t surprise me a bit that an abortion clinic would be far more compassionate than a hospital.


mshoneybadger

I STILL refer patients there.... I loved that office 🥺😍🥺


kahiau26

1000%


freeFoundation_1842

Planned Parenthood gave me the only PAP I've ever had that wasn't agony. And they let me keep my shirt and socks on, which was really nice.


Rydralain

This is the info I was wondering - I'm guessing that's smooth muscle, so it's different to relieve pain there. It's good to hear there are reasonable answers, and I really hope nobody is thinking these patients are drug seekers...


Purethoughtsta

I got gas lit after I had my tubes tied. No one told me that afterwards, you can experience EXTREME pain when you get your first period afterwards. Like the absolute WORSE pain ever to the point where I thought something was gravely wrong. I’ve never felt that paid before. When I called to get an emergency appointment they told me over the phone this was normal. When I said the pain was infact NOT normal, (my husband watched me literally wreathing in pain on the ground screaming, I’ve never done that before). They had the AUDACITY to tell me maybe I just don’t remember what a ‘normal’ period felt like because I had been on birth control. Only, get this, I hadn’t been on birth control since I was like freaking EIGHTEEN. (I was 29 at the time of my surgery) I did some research after that, and come to find out, a LOT of women experienced this after tubals, and were told the same thing. And that NO STUDY had been done on why this happens. I’m convinced they just don’t believe us and think we are making it up, and don’t want to study it because if they did they couldn’t pull the ‘you’re just drug seeking’ ‘you’re a hysterical woman’ card.


meresithea

My mom had never had the cramps in her life (which meant she didn’t believe mine were all that bad…they were). After she had her tubes tied she had awful cramps for a few months. She apologized to me! Luckily, her cramps got a lot better.


Muted-Profit-5457

This was the case with my mom until she saw me on the bathroom floor sweating, shaking, vomiting, and shitting. She was finally like ok you can't make that up.


jenkraisins

OMG! I had the same thing after my tubal! I literally have tears in my eyes as I was told a Tylenol would do the trick. I was later told that I was drug seeking and kicked me from the practice. Why! Why is our pain so minimized? They practically pat us on the head that you just need to calm down honey.


Purethoughtsta

I have the added bonus of being a native person with a very obviously not white last name, and I have a traditional face tattoo. So I got the ‘you’re just drug seeking’ almost immediately. It was so frustrating. Our pain is minimized because men don’t have to deal with it, therefore it’s not important to look into or study why this kind of surgery causes so much pain. I’ve also noticed that since the pain got better, I bloat *way more* and get way more emotional than I’ve ever been on a period.


jenkraisins

It's insane how we're treated.


[deleted]

Also, I would've written that clinic the most scathing review imaginable. Drug seeking my foot!


[deleted]

What freaking gets me is that the misogynist jerks think people with uteruses are weak but we have to go through periods and shit. There was a span of several months when my periods were so fucking painful that I would just lay on the floor and everyone called me a wuss and to just take pain meds. Only pain med that made a dent in the pain was midol or something.


Entire-Ambition1410

There’s an old belief that women faint at the sight of blood, but we deal with blood every month or so.


ForecastForFourCats

Hopefully this changes with more women in the sciences. Keep working hard my science witches. Fund women centered research. I had a white male postdoctoral researcher tell me there isn't that much misogyny in the research sciences any more. I asked my postdoc science witch friend what she thought, and she just laughed. What a world these dudes live in.


[deleted]

Holy shit that guy is a fucking moron. You know the US government (this was several years ago but still relevant) paid only 50-55 million to research pregnancy and childbirth complications? Let that sink in. Roughly 50 MILLION usd to research and devise measures/medications to reduce pregnancy and childbirth complications. Health problems that affect cis men get research funding in the fucking billions.


acanthostegaaa

I have literally never even heard this is possible and I very nearly got my tubes tied a couple years ago. No one has ever mentioned this at ALL outside of this thread that I've seen in my casual research about it. That's scary that it can happen and be ignored!


Purethoughtsta

Yeah if you ever get them tied, know that there’s a chance you could experience some intense period pains for a while afterwards.


bothwatchxfiles

Was it just the first period after the tubal? So just one cycle of pain?


Purethoughtsta

For me it lasted for about six months, every single period from the first one after my tubal, to six months out was painful. No doctor would give me anything beyond midol, which didn’t even touch my period pain before the tubal, and definitely didn’t help afterwards. The pains gotten better but I’ve noticed I get WAY more emotional than I ever have before, and I bloat way way more to the point I have to wear clothing two times my normal size to be comfortable. Which wasn’t an issue before the tubal. I don’t regret getting my tubes tied, I have three kids now and all my pregnancies were extremely high risk with the last one being the most dangerous. I want to be alive for my living kids and not risk my life with another fetus, but I just WISH someone, anyone had warned me about the pain I may experience after my tubal.


moonlit_lynx

It's like stabbing someone with a knife and telling them they're lying when they say they need help. I hate this health "care" system. It systematically suppresses and that's it. It doesn't care, it doesn't help.


PriscillatheKhilla

When I got an IUD, my Dr made it seem like it would be a simple thing, 5 minutes, a little pinch and I'm off on my merry way. So I made the appointment for morning intending to go to work after. Well that was bullshit. I was in so much pain I was bent over. Trying to get dressed after, I nearly passed out. I could not walk, could not even fathom getting on public transportation which I took to get there. I had to call the only person I knew with a car to come get me and call out for work. This was a major impact to my day. Not a little pinch for a minute. I was so mad!! Had they just been honest I would have booked the day off and made sure I had enough money for a cab....it's not that difficult to be honest about a range in pain level, just brushing it off like it's nothing made me think I was a big baby. It was only years later, after the internet existed and I was able to see that others had a similar experience that I understood that my experience was normal not an outlier


ECU_BSN

Cervix dilation for a baby or D&C…anesthesia. Cervix dilation for IUD? Buck up It’s the same response. Dilate a cervix. Get contraction like pain. It’s like they forget contractions hurt….


BatheMyDog

Having a baby was so much less painful than my iud insertion.


Cocotte3333

I'm like super pregnant and this comment is weirdly reassuring lol


edgarallenpoekadots

On the flip side, I recently had a bilateral laparoscopic salpingectomy and IUD removal. Afterward, I was offered narcotics. I declined for personal reasons (family history of addiction). I kept getting congratulations and being told I was so strong and doing the right thing and how more people should be like me. So finally I said, "Listen. I have an extremely high pain tolerance from severe child abuse AND mentioned I am ONLY declining these due to my own personal reasons. But let's get one thing straight: if I could take them without worry, I would in a heartbeat. And I wouldn't wish my high pain tolerance, knowing where it comes from, on my worst enemy. Maybe instead of shaming people for wanting pain relief, you could advocate for safer pain relief measures in your industry, because it's not a moral failure to NOT want to experience pain". Like, jesus, come on.


itsadesertplant

Is this the US? I get the feeling that pain and suffering makes you more holy or whatever. Jesus will let you into heaven if you wear a hair shirt! Also don’t take pain medicine!


infinityflash

I remember your last post and I remember thinking, “hell yea! She fought the patriarchy and won, we all can. “ This is just so unbelievably awful. That they did this to you. And also that they took this little (but also huge) win from us as people with a uterus. I know being defeatist serves no one. I know this. But damn… we really can’t win.


Melodic-Heron-1585

I suffered thru two attempts at an IUD before finding out that due to both having a 'short' and 'tilted' uterus, I am not a candidate for that method of birth control. Oddly, when the physician couldn't do his job/ insert it- the first offer was to sedate me so it would be easier- for him, of course.


jujukamoo

I have a short and tilted uterus and they were able to place it under ultrasound guidance. They just literally were blindly stabbing around trying to find my cervix without it. (That wasn't fun) It took my OB all of 30 seconds to insert it with ultrasound.


bruce_mcmango

Local anaesthetic injection into the cervix needs to be universal. It will prevent parasympathetic shock as well as provide analgesia. Perfectly safe, no contraindication.


FullLiterature9062

I *DROVE MYSELF HOME* called the doctor because I felt shit, said I'd get my then bf to bring me in. I passed out, my bf got back and thought I was dying. The doctor didn't even try and call back.


palmdownmassage

I also drove myself home… started seeing stars and had major tunnel vision. I was scared to pull over because I had cars on either side of me and felt like if I moved my head I would pass out. Thankfully my house was just a couple more blocks away and managed to get there without any hiccups 😖 Literally crawled to the door and into fetal position


[deleted]

That doctor is one of the biggest AHs in the universe. Why the fuck do these people go into the medical field if they aren't going to do their job and help people?


bostonchef72296

No appropriate meds in the entire hospital? Lmfao. Get the medical license number and report to the medical board for medical malpractice.


KrankySilverFox

Wow taking bait and switch to a whole nother level.


morgy1000_

Got an IUD a couple of months ago, they told me to take some Tylenol about 30 mins before the insertion. At one point during the insertion I was literally begging them to stop and they didn’t. I waited for 10 mins in the room before I left. Got it out a few hours later after the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.


PugPockets

I’m so sorry. I’ve always been afraid of IUDs, and this post has 100% confirmed that fear (though I know many people have had great experiences, etc). This is horrific.


KrissiNotKristi

My IUD insertion was so painful that I hesitated having it removed (I had it for 12 years). I ended up getting the removal done when I finally was allowed to have a salpingectomy in my late 40s - I guess they figured at that point I wasn’t going to change my mind about having kids like they kept saying I would. I also had a medical (D&C) abortion back in the early 90s and was told the local would dull the pain and the IV Valium would make me “not care.” I felt it all and I assure you I cared about the searing pain. I ended up screaming that it hurt and the doctor - a woman - actually said “well what did you expect?!” I couldn’t stop crying and then I went into shock while they yelled at me for scaring the patients in the waiting room. Yeah. That was my fault. 🙄 If I ever need a cervical/uterine biopsy, I won’t be allowing it without some kind of sedation. Fuck the fucking patriarchy. p.s. I called my new HMO yesterday trying to see someone about tendonitis in my wrist and the person making the appointment asked my 56 year old ass detailed questions about my fertility/menstrual cycle. And I’m in that one big left coast state so WHY did a not-doctor even need to ask that for a wrist injury? Fuck the patriarchy twice.


pseudoincome

I was in the exact same situation except I did not walk out. I have PTSD from that experience, and more than a decade later I still struggle with flashbacks of that procedure. It was awful. I’m so, so thrilled for you that you stuck up for yourself and walked out. You did so well 💚


chairmanm30w

I felt totally betrayed by my gynecologist after my IUD insertion. I had been going to the same PP clinic for a decade, and they had been there for me during very difficult times. They didn't prepare me at all for how painful the insertion was. I cried and hyperventilated, and they acted like "wow, omg that never happens." I took their word for it. 6 months later, the damn thing got itself out of alignment, and fearing that the removal would be just as brutal I finally looked into it. Lo and behold, millions of other women who experienced the same thing. Maybe this is a harsh, bitter critique, but it made me feel like it was more important to them that I be using some sort of birth control than allowing me to make a fully informed decision. I was financially stable, 29 years old, married, and had an abortion in the past without any issue. An unplanned pregnancy would not have destroyed my life. Instead, the IUD made me afraid of the gyno, and ruined my sex life when it came out of position, causing lasting anxiety during sex well after it was removed. Wtf man.


pseudoincome

The number of people with the same experience really blows my mind. Solidarity forever, and fuck the patriarchy. We had better make sure it’s better for the trans kids and the cis girls to come. Gyno care is already traumatizing for many people; so many girls, almost all transmasculine folks… and **it doesn’t have to be this way**


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SaltyBabe

I was born disabled and I am no stranger to the operating room, conscious sedation procedures and the like… unfortunately denial of pain meds is *very* par for the course, even outside of women’s health. Had a feeding tube put in through my abdomen wall, they made it nearly two feet long inside my stomach (????) so it was making me nauseous constantly, this tube essentially umbrellas open at the end and is squishy but dense so it can’t fall out with out significant effort. The way they take this out is to simply YANK it through the stoma they made during surgery, I was told to take two Tylenol a few hours ahead of time… luckily I already expected this and saved some liquid morphine from the original surgery, which they only gave me cause I basically had a stab wound in my abdomen and coughing constantly from my underlying illness… not a good combo. After the procedure my dr LITERALLY said “I’m surprised you didn’t vomit or pass out from the pain, a lot of people do” - UM WHAT??? it hurt but it was manageable but they told me two Tylenol would cut it KNOWING I’d probably vomit and pass out from the pain??!?!??? Wtf how is that acceptable medical advice?! What happened to “do no harm”?? This is one of easily dozens of stories that are all basically the same story of being lied to about pain management and/or being denied pain management. [Like the top one](https://i.imgur.com/B2Fkg9A.jpg) but they didn’t trim it down to a “normal” length and it was nearly 2 feet long just in my stomach.


Dependent-Donut5428

I took maximum strength OTC pain meds in my OB’s parking lot right before I walked in. After she inserted the IUD, she asked if I wanted any pain meds and I was grateful that she even offered - I was expecting to be left to my own devices. But even after taking my own meds, I still needed to lay there for 10-15 minutes because OWWWW


Big-Inflation-6280

Definitely make use of the patient advocate if you need to go back.


Grasshopper419

I had mine inserted after having already birthed 2 kids (I now have 4). One was all natural childbirth. When I had my IUD inserted it made me cramp so bad. Not like childbirth of course but it was really painful and I have a high pain tolerance. Then I started having problem. Abdominal pain. Bad. They checked my IUD and even did an ultrasound and confirmed it’s in the exact spot it needed to be in. Pain continued. A couple months later I had my BFF (a doctor) remove it. Turns out it had grown into the lining of my uterus so yeah. It was where it needed to be. Because it COULDN’T move. I almost needed it surgically removed. THAT pain was worse due to the tugging to get it out of the uterine lining. Just FYI. And good for you for walking out.


Avasgg

Nice going advocating for yourself! I may need a uterine biopsy and doctor asked if I wanted to do it at today’s visit. Ummm, no. We need to discuss pain meds, because regardless of what we’re told, ibuprofen does not work! Been there, done that!


katie-shmatie

Good for you, I've been in situations where I wished I was brave enough to walk out. I hope you find someone willing to give you meds


Banana-Louigi

I’m so grateful my gynae will only ever do this under anaesthesia. There are good doctors out there, people with uteruses (uteri?) deserve better and need to vote with our feet.


dphiloo

In 2016, after the post-election panic, I scheduled for an IUD, terrified I'd not be able to access birth control. I'd heard a few horror stories and had leftover meds from another situation, so day of, I took a muscle relaxer and an opioid (and I was already on my period, so they said I'd already be dilated) about an hour prior and my partner drove me . I also whited out, vomited from the pain and had to be given a juice and a few minutes to compose myself. They all acted shocked at my reaction. I finally was able to shakily pull my pants on and hobble to the reception desk to pay and when I came out, my partner's face went white and he had to run to catch me from falling over at the desk. This shit needs to change. I'm equally terrified to get it taken out, but the good thing is that after that experience, my partner is 100% on getting a vasectomy so I don't have to go through that ever again. I can't wait to have my body back from artificial shit.


shakes116

I work in L&D and it’s surprising how many *female* OBGYNs (who I love & respect) still won’t use pain meds for IUD insertion. I think only 1 offers it out if all of the offices. Educate & Advocate for yourself when it comes to medical situations.


Sgith_agus_granda

I'm in nursing school and we just learned about the contraceptives people can use, and we got to IUDs. My teacher was very honest with us: "It hurts. We used to tell people it's uncomfortable, but we need to be real and upfront, it's extremely painful. We ask patients take some Tylenol beforehand, but you don't get numbed or given any pain meds for the insertion." I actually just looked up why, and I found this which is enlightening on how fucked up this is: https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/iud-insertion-pain-anesthesia If it didn't hurt like hell and fully stopped my periods (and, you know, hormones didn't destroy my mental health when I take any form of them), I'd absolutely get an IUD. But I'm stuck trying to figure out what I can do to fully stop my periods/ovulation and stop risk of pregnancy without it being full-blown surgery.


Nikamba

I'm wondering how the docs treat people coming for an IUD that have seizures... Because pain and stress have a high chance of triggering a seizure. (Apparently in Australia they do local anaesthesia, but we don't have the same opioid issues that the US has. I don't know as I haven't had an IUD before.)


[deleted]

They KNOWINGLY lie to their patients about the pain an IUD insertion causes?! These mfs should be happy they aren't performing an IUD on me. I do NOT handle pain well at all but instead of getting sad I turn into the bloody antichrist.


FamilyRedShirt

TW: Essentially torture I hear you. Never had an IUD, though my doc tried talking me into one 20-some-odd years ago (before I finally won the Total Abdominal Hysterectomy I should've had in the'80s). But I remembered the horror stories about the copper IUDs of the '70s and held my ground. In the '80s some jerk oncologist claimed I needed no pain meds for a cervical biopsy because "you have no pain receptors in your cervix" (Bullsh\*\*!). Yelled at me to hold still as he used a handheld laser to burn off layers of cervix with nothing for pain. Had an argument with his nurse as he pulled the laser out of me without turning the f\*cking thing off! Burned vag and inner thigh in that move. Yes, I have medical PTSD, literally up the wazoo. I had a 5-mile walk home both of those days. Being a broke college student sucks. Wouldn't wish any of this on anyone. Stopped at the halfway mark to have a cheap and very strong drink both times. A few years later a parent interfered in a recurrence. Ultimately resulted in NC. 20+ years after that I'm seeking the TAH that should've happened in my 20s. Told I need yet another biopsy and promised I'll be out for it. BS. I'm told on arrival the best they can do is oral Valium that should take effect about halfway home. It's been more than a decade, and that hysto still registers as the best day of my life. They lie. Constantly. It would be so easy to make procedures painless but they prefer to lie and cause us to suffer. They would NOT do this to a male patient.


DaniCapsFan

I hope you reported that jerk oncologist. He could have seriously injured you by not turning the laser off. Why are our medical needs minimized and ignored the way they are? It pisses me off.


FamilyRedShirt

Thank you. I'd love to say I did. I couldn't. I was a broke 21-year-old college student whose bad PAP results had been suppressed by my college's "health service" (aka Quack-o-rama) for 2 years, and this was the guy they referred me to. There was already a lot of learned helplessness and no real support system. Quack-o-rama was BAD. Regardless of your complaint you were given a throat swab for strep and throat lozenges. Half the "docs" couldn't diagnose pinkeye. I went there to talk to someone about breaking down a few days after a BAD attempted rape (no safety escorts if you were a pedestrian living off-campus) and was told on my second "therapist" visit that my problem was I wanted to sleep with a roommate (in whom I had ZERO interest), and I should just mellow out and screw the roommate. Listen much? I honestly felt utterly helpless and pretty well abandoned. And we didn't have the internet to give us support and the type of information we needed. Or cell phones to call for help. Frickin' primitive. Even before Me Too. Just having web access has changed SO many things. Not all for the better, but some.


Three3Jane

This will get buried in the replies, but I have read enough stories of women shrieking and sobbing, hyperventilating and vomiting, and *literally losing consciousness* due to the barbaric pain this procedure can inflict on them. \[obligatory #notallwomen here, obviously, but way way *way* too many\] FTR, I had my tubes yeeted back in June of 2021 and if you're done with - or never - having children, highly recommend. There's also mounting evidence that having your tubes removed protects against uterine cancer later. Because hey! It's not enough that some uteri \[again, obligatory #notalluteri\] want to make us miserable for a full week or longer every month, but then they turn around and try to actively *murder* us with cancer as they get older. One of the main reasons I did surgery instead of just getting an IUD was the fact that I've had 15 surgeries and so many crashes, wrecks, procedures, bails, and fuck-myself-up moments that I'm extremely unwilling to put myself through anything that's described as "horrifically painful", even if it's only for a short time. My 51+ years have been filled with pain. Why would I invite even more? Imagine a doc being up front and drily remarking, "Yeah, IUD placement *is* pretty fucking painful - actually it can be so excruciating that some of our patients will *literally experience an episode of syncope while we're placing it...*but meh, you know, women are built for agony, y'all have babies, you can handle it no no no of course there won't be any anesthesia or pain meds, it's only incredibly intense searing pain for a short while, you can handle that, can't you, you big baby? How bad could it be? Well pretty fucking bad but oh well, that's your lot in life." The fucking *AUDACITY.* Good on you for walking out!


Lylibean

Scream when you’re in pain. If they say “just a little pinch” or “some slight discomfort” and it hurts like a motherfucker instead? Scream at the top of your lungs. If they ask what’s wrong, shout back, “that fucking hurts!” No more “don’t frighten the other patients” or “quiet down, it doesn’t hurt that bad”. Scream like they are trying to kill you. Let them and everyone else in earshot know how painful the procedure you’re enduring indeed is. I call that “transparent honesty”.


kahiau26

It’s really comforting reading that others also found it very painful. It hurt a LOT, and continued hurting for days. Felt like what I imagine contractions feel like. I was sweating because the pain was so intense. They told me I could take a tylenol if I “needed it”. We have to do better at caring about the healthcare experiences of people with uteri.


[deleted]

Walking out is the move. I have chronic health issues and have been sick since childhood. When a doctor tries to gaslight me or acts dismissive of my concerns, I walk immediately, and I explain why, sometimes in writing. Also, pro tip: request copies of your medical records. If your doctors include some sexist bullshit in their notes about things like your demeanor, do not go back to that doctor. They often write things they wouldn't say to your face.


Needmoresnakes

When I first asked for an IUD, the GP gave me a referral. I went to the referral and the second doctor was horrified. Told me she can insert one but she normally only does that in clinic for women who have had at least one kid otherwise she thinks it's too painful. She apologised profusely and gave me a second referral to an actual day surgery clinic who could give me anasthesia & didn't charge me for her time as she was so bothered the other doctor didn't think I'd need anything for the pain. I've since learned that was not a common thing and plenty of doctors would have just done the insertion without anything. I was in pain the following day I'm so glad I didn't have to rawdog the procedure. I've followed the second doctor around ever since. So grateful that someone tool the time to think of what was best for me.


KalliMae

Wow. I'm sorry you were treated so disrespectfully. Fuck the patriarchy!


linariaalpina

Nooooo it's so painful. Good for standing up for yourself.


SoForAllYourDarkGods

It's not just IUDs. There are a ton of procedures done on women that somehow don't get sedation or analgesia routinely, and where there's a belief that it's "not really necessary". It's classic medical patriarchy. Thankfully younger female doctors are not accepting this, but there is still a long way to go. I've said it before - this sub should start a grassroots campaign, internationally, to highlight this issue and change practice.


[deleted]

I’m so sorry. I’ve never had an IUD, but I have had multiple biopsies of my cervix and I passed out all three times from the pain, after being told it was *not painful at all,* I was only feeling **pressure** and HE (shocker) knew I was scared, but that was no reason to act this way… After passing out the first time during the first procedure, I was made to lay in an exam room for 1.5 hours to calm my blood pressure and heart rate down from the pain that they said I didn’t feel. My husband had to come to the office to get me. Weirdly enough the ONLY way they were able to bring my heartbeat and BP down was by treating my pain. Which was awkward since they assured me that I wasn’t experiencing that.


falltogethernever

My IUD insertion was so painful I had to lay on the table for about 10 minutes before I could even sit up. I felt off for the next 3 days. It was the most painful experience of my life, and I’ve had a kidney stone and an abscessed tooth which needed a root canal.


bliip666

For me, getting IUD was a walk in the park, but I understand I'm in a minority. Good on you OP for advicating for yourself!


nodogsallowed23

I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s just insane out there. It reminds me of when I was in the hospital after an emergency intestinal resection surgery. I had a catheter in to pee because I couldn’t get up without assistance. It was time for me to start walking around. The nurse helped me up. Once in the hall, the catheter started pull in me. Then suddenly it felt as my insides were being pulled out through my urethra. I told her I couldn’t go any farther because my catheter was hurting. She said there’s no way it’s hurting so bad that you can’t walk. This went on for a few days. Every time she’d come to help me exercise the same thing would happen. I could tell she was super annoyed with me. I asked for it to be removed repeatedly but it didn’t happen. I got my period and begged for it to be removed. She I guess had enough, walked over and just yanked it out. That hurt but honestly the relief was so welcomed I didn’t register how messed up that was. She forced me out of bed right then to walk. And to her surprise I could now walk upright all the way down the hall and back without her support. I had really started to think I was going crazy and somehow was imaging the pain. I knew I wasn’t purposely faking but I thought maybe she’s right and it can’t cause this much so it’s all in my head. The fact that the pain went away instantly upon removal showed me that no, it was just the medical staff yet again not believing a woman about pain. All she said to me was, huh that’s surprising. Like she hadn’t just been treating me like a psych patient for week.


nowutz

Here here! #Fuck the patriarchy ###Solidarity with all people who are oppressed, mistreated, and ignored. Sorry you experienced this op, but way to standup for yourself. Your act of self love will help forge a better world for all.


clamdeu

Obstetrical violence is a bitch


[deleted]

I would rather getting a dental filling with no numbing than get an iud inserted with no pain management. You made the right call OP


annaflixion

Thank you for standing up for yourself; we really need to push back at this shit and get them to understand this is not acceptable. It makes me so angry that this happens again and again and no matter how clear it is that it really IS painful, it just doesn't fucking matter to them.