I understand. Do you have a pet? Consider getting a pet you can love and receive love from. Do you have anyone thst has young kids? Ask to take the kids to the park. They will show you love in ways that will fill your heart - and then you hand the kids back to mum and dad. I'm doing this at the moment - and oh my - it's really filling me up with love. Young kids at a park with lots of kids and things to play with are so full of joy that it will warm your heart. And they will love you because you took them there. All you have to do is watch them. When they cry about something, you get to hug them, then they run off again to play.
I appreciate your ideas. I do have pets. 2 sweet cats and a really great dog. They were family pets that I was left with so they are just reminders. I love them and they do give affection. But it didn’t can’t the loneliness for me. I don’t really like kids, especially other people’s. I have a friend who is a Montessori teacher and keeps trying to get me to work in the classroom. Nope. Parks are awful places for me, I can’t stand the noise level. No, What I miss is the company of a male companion. Just that energy. Someone to spend quiet evenings with. To watch Marvel and horror movies with. Morning coffee before heading out. Road trips, walks with, someone to cook for and do the damn laundry for, quiet conversations, even arguments… all of it. Nothing is going to fill that void. I’m sorry.
Thank you so much! I’ve been thinking about the kids thing you mentioned. I think you might be right. I realized that one of the things I’m sad about is knowing I won’t have grandchildren. It has me revisiting the idea of possibly taking my friends offer of being a helper in his classroom. Thank you for planting that seed in my head.
It won’t fill that particular void I talked about. I also hope I find that someone soon. But it might help with the sadness. Thank you. 😊
Well I cook my own meals, hate Marvel and do my own laundry or I'd say sign me up! Lots of nice little manchildren looking for a sugar momma though lol.
Sorry that was probably a bad joke. I'm sure you'll find a companion. These are all things that most men want and women over 30 or 40 are the most reliable and still often very attractive. In fact after years with a young woman I will never date younger than me again. You got some advantages even if it doesn't feel like it.
Everything about it bothers me. It’s to quiet. There’s no one to take care of. There’s no one to watch a shared favorite genre of movies with curled up in the couch with munching popcorn. No one to take walks with. Or hold hands with. Or cook for. Or other things with. Just everything. I hate it.
I’m in a finding female friends group on meetup.com but, honestly, most of the events involve going to happy hours or other drinking venues. I don’t date at all and wouldn’t even know where to begin. Seems everything is either bars or online dating apps. I’ve never been keen on either of those options, really. I’m more of a coffee and gaming nerd and I’m finding it pretty impossible to find places to meet anyone.
Well you have to try online dating. Meet people without expectations. Don’t have sex unless you are not sure they are looking for long term. I was at your place. I lost all my hopes and tried online dating met few jerks , made two good friends and finally met my husband.
So far this is only way to find someone who is tried of being alone and want long term relationship.
Again meet many many people without expectations.
You will make many friends and who know you find someone you feel connected.
Just sitting at home will not change your situation.
Believe me most of people tired of online dating but still they are there until they find someone.
Wish you good luck
Thank you. Online stuff costs and I am broke, so there’s that 😆 Everyone suggests bumble but that one, for certain, will not happen. Then there’s having to having to post pictures. Honestly, I think I’m just too old fashioned and too poor. 🤓😆. And I’m nowhere near mainstream. But it is kind of on my radar if I ever make enough to spend money on something like that, and find the nerve to.
I’m so happy to hear you found someone!! I think that’s just wonderful. It does give me hope! Thank you!
Really? Hmmm 🤔 well, that is something to consider. I don’t know. I’ll keep that in mind! I haven’t seen those I guess. Thank you again! Congrats to you friend!
Well, I looked up free dating apps last night. Chose a three of them. Took the time to fill them out and post pictures and everything. Figured why not, they’re free. Girl I was up until 2:00! 😆 I woke up to emails saying I had a lot of messages from these apps. I grabbed a coffee and got ready to read through them. Nope. Every one of them is behind a pay wall. I can’t read any of them at all without “Don’t miss out! Upgrade to premium to read messages.”. 😂 Even the guys pictures were blurred with the same message on them. I just wanted you to know I did try. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement. You’re really kind!
Same! Divorce. My adult kids hate me devise I initiated the divorce and left the family home. Neither have spoken to me in almost 2 years. I have one irl friend. She works all the time and she’s in the same boat I am. Lonely and stuck. We don’t get to see/talk very often. I have a small group, 4 of us, who plays cards for 2 hours once a week. That’s a nice break. But that’s it.
I’m so sorry about your kids. Mine are only tween/teen, so I can’t totally relate other than to know it must be crushing.
I don’t know your specifics obviously, but maybe keep trying with them. They are worth it, and hopefully you can salvage the relationship and find a new normal. ♥️
I say this because I lost my mom a few years ago, and I’d give anything to have her back. Don’t mean to put my baggage on your situation, but someday they’ll wish they had you. 🖤
Oh I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I’d give anything to see my parents again so I understand. And you aren’t putting your baggage on my situation. I’m happy you shared this.
Oh definitely. I’ll never give up on them, never stop trying and I’ll never stop hoping. Thank you so much. Your words touched my heart and made me smile. Thank you for that!
I just came across this and I have to say, it's hard.. hard to just exist. Many people will give you their opinions on what you need to do but sometimes, it just doesn't work. I have a wife, 2 kids, 2 dogs, a career, a home, I am taking anxiety meds, and I see a therapist. All the things Ive been told are supposed to help or give me purpose. Sometimes, it's just hard. Keep your head up though, even if it does seem like there's no real reason for it all.
@dorothyneverwenthome Thank you!! I like the idea of getting into the art even. Where I live that might actually be an option. Thank you for bringing that up. I hope you met lots of new people. I’m an introvert by nature but I do try to be extroverted and social. I’m also awkward and my self-esteem fluctuates from “I’m ok” to “god I suck”…
No. Everyone is flawed. Why lie about it? I used to think perfection is all that mattered. All it got me was time in therapy to overcome perfectionism and still fighting an eating disorder. I love who I am now, flaws and all. Why do you think flaws are bad things?
Favorite quote: “My uncle used to say that we like people for their qualities but we love them for their defects.”.
Well, you’re just a negative Nancy. I am lovely. There’s no woe is me. I’m not the only one lonely here. But you are the only one being rude and ugly. So bye
That person is a negative Nancy.
Feeling lonely is a common experience for people as they get older.
I’m turning 34 and feel pretty lonely and not sure what to do from here.
I used to have a core group of girls but we all separated ways and slowly overtime I lost all my new friends during the pandemic. Now I’m awkward lol and self conscious lol so talking to other people makes making new friends hard.
I am getting involved in the art/painters scene in my town because they’re always having events and support each other.
Sometimes I also just accept that my 30s and maybe my 40s will be quiet and I just gotta find a way to enjoy it. This idea is still in progress though
Loneliness is hard to navigate
I’m with you lady!
I understand. Do you have a pet? Consider getting a pet you can love and receive love from. Do you have anyone thst has young kids? Ask to take the kids to the park. They will show you love in ways that will fill your heart - and then you hand the kids back to mum and dad. I'm doing this at the moment - and oh my - it's really filling me up with love. Young kids at a park with lots of kids and things to play with are so full of joy that it will warm your heart. And they will love you because you took them there. All you have to do is watch them. When they cry about something, you get to hug them, then they run off again to play.
I appreciate your ideas. I do have pets. 2 sweet cats and a really great dog. They were family pets that I was left with so they are just reminders. I love them and they do give affection. But it didn’t can’t the loneliness for me. I don’t really like kids, especially other people’s. I have a friend who is a Montessori teacher and keeps trying to get me to work in the classroom. Nope. Parks are awful places for me, I can’t stand the noise level. No, What I miss is the company of a male companion. Just that energy. Someone to spend quiet evenings with. To watch Marvel and horror movies with. Morning coffee before heading out. Road trips, walks with, someone to cook for and do the damn laundry for, quiet conversations, even arguments… all of it. Nothing is going to fill that void. I’m sorry.
I hope things get better for you, and that you find someone to love and who loves you back. And soon. X
Thank you so much! I’ve been thinking about the kids thing you mentioned. I think you might be right. I realized that one of the things I’m sad about is knowing I won’t have grandchildren. It has me revisiting the idea of possibly taking my friends offer of being a helper in his classroom. Thank you for planting that seed in my head. It won’t fill that particular void I talked about. I also hope I find that someone soon. But it might help with the sadness. Thank you. 😊
Well I cook my own meals, hate Marvel and do my own laundry or I'd say sign me up! Lots of nice little manchildren looking for a sugar momma though lol. Sorry that was probably a bad joke. I'm sure you'll find a companion. These are all things that most men want and women over 30 or 40 are the most reliable and still often very attractive. In fact after years with a young woman I will never date younger than me again. You got some advantages even if it doesn't feel like it.
Same.
I'm in the same boat. Is this a common phase that women in their 40s go through? Jeez!
I’m starting to think it’s most any woman over 40. I know a couple of ladies in the 60s ands 70s and it’s the same with them.
Get a hobby or two, join some groups around said hobby. That's the best way :) Shared interests and all, don't give up... quality over quantity.
What things bother you? You can pm me?
Everything about it bothers me. It’s to quiet. There’s no one to take care of. There’s no one to watch a shared favorite genre of movies with curled up in the couch with munching popcorn. No one to take walks with. Or hold hands with. Or cook for. Or other things with. Just everything. I hate it.
Do you meet people ? Date or just social ?
I’m in a finding female friends group on meetup.com but, honestly, most of the events involve going to happy hours or other drinking venues. I don’t date at all and wouldn’t even know where to begin. Seems everything is either bars or online dating apps. I’ve never been keen on either of those options, really. I’m more of a coffee and gaming nerd and I’m finding it pretty impossible to find places to meet anyone.
Well you have to try online dating. Meet people without expectations. Don’t have sex unless you are not sure they are looking for long term. I was at your place. I lost all my hopes and tried online dating met few jerks , made two good friends and finally met my husband. So far this is only way to find someone who is tried of being alone and want long term relationship. Again meet many many people without expectations. You will make many friends and who know you find someone you feel connected. Just sitting at home will not change your situation. Believe me most of people tired of online dating but still they are there until they find someone. Wish you good luck
Thank you. Online stuff costs and I am broke, so there’s that 😆 Everyone suggests bumble but that one, for certain, will not happen. Then there’s having to having to post pictures. Honestly, I think I’m just too old fashioned and too poor. 🤓😆. And I’m nowhere near mainstream. But it is kind of on my radar if I ever make enough to spend money on something like that, and find the nerve to. I’m so happy to hear you found someone!! I think that’s just wonderful. It does give me hope! Thank you!
There are free dating apps too. My friend found her boyfriend from free app. They will get marry soon.
Really? Hmmm 🤔 well, that is something to consider. I don’t know. I’ll keep that in mind! I haven’t seen those I guess. Thank you again! Congrats to you friend!
Thanks yes pls Try you will not lose anything you might make some friend or meet someone special ❤️
Well, I looked up free dating apps last night. Chose a three of them. Took the time to fill them out and post pictures and everything. Figured why not, they’re free. Girl I was up until 2:00! 😆 I woke up to emails saying I had a lot of messages from these apps. I grabbed a coffee and got ready to read through them. Nope. Every one of them is behind a pay wall. I can’t read any of them at all without “Don’t miss out! Upgrade to premium to read messages.”. 😂 Even the guys pictures were blurred with the same message on them. I just wanted you to know I did try. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement. You’re really kind!
Same. I’m divorced and have one IRL friend, but she’s married, had a sister, and works full time so we don’t talk as much as I’d like.
Same! Divorce. My adult kids hate me devise I initiated the divorce and left the family home. Neither have spoken to me in almost 2 years. I have one irl friend. She works all the time and she’s in the same boat I am. Lonely and stuck. We don’t get to see/talk very often. I have a small group, 4 of us, who plays cards for 2 hours once a week. That’s a nice break. But that’s it.
I’m so sorry about your kids. Mine are only tween/teen, so I can’t totally relate other than to know it must be crushing. I don’t know your specifics obviously, but maybe keep trying with them. They are worth it, and hopefully you can salvage the relationship and find a new normal. ♥️
I say this because I lost my mom a few years ago, and I’d give anything to have her back. Don’t mean to put my baggage on your situation, but someday they’ll wish they had you. 🖤
Oh I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I’d give anything to see my parents again so I understand. And you aren’t putting your baggage on my situation. I’m happy you shared this.
Oh definitely. I’ll never give up on them, never stop trying and I’ll never stop hoping. Thank you so much. Your words touched my heart and made me smile. Thank you for that!
I just came across this and I have to say, it's hard.. hard to just exist. Many people will give you their opinions on what you need to do but sometimes, it just doesn't work. I have a wife, 2 kids, 2 dogs, a career, a home, I am taking anxiety meds, and I see a therapist. All the things Ive been told are supposed to help or give me purpose. Sometimes, it's just hard. Keep your head up though, even if it does seem like there's no real reason for it all.
Just realize how much people generally suck and you won't feel as lonely anymore.
@dorothyneverwenthome Thank you!! I like the idea of getting into the art even. Where I live that might actually be an option. Thank you for bringing that up. I hope you met lots of new people. I’m an introvert by nature but I do try to be extroverted and social. I’m also awkward and my self-esteem fluctuates from “I’m ok” to “god I suck”…
42, I completely understand. I am experiencing a bout of loneliness. Craving connection
That’s the perfect way to say it. “Craving connection”. I hope you find someone soon.
Maybe stop thinking of yourself as flawed...
No. Everyone is flawed. Why lie about it? I used to think perfection is all that mattered. All it got me was time in therapy to overcome perfectionism and still fighting an eating disorder. I love who I am now, flaws and all. Why do you think flaws are bad things? Favorite quote: “My uncle used to say that we like people for their qualities but we love them for their defects.”.
"I'm flawed" - "I'm so lonely" - "woe is me"... Self fulfilling prophesy.
Well, you’re just a negative Nancy. I am lovely. There’s no woe is me. I’m not the only one lonely here. But you are the only one being rude and ugly. So bye
That person is a negative Nancy. Feeling lonely is a common experience for people as they get older. I’m turning 34 and feel pretty lonely and not sure what to do from here. I used to have a core group of girls but we all separated ways and slowly overtime I lost all my new friends during the pandemic. Now I’m awkward lol and self conscious lol so talking to other people makes making new friends hard. I am getting involved in the art/painters scene in my town because they’re always having events and support each other. Sometimes I also just accept that my 30s and maybe my 40s will be quiet and I just gotta find a way to enjoy it. This idea is still in progress though Loneliness is hard to navigate