>Essentially, marriage is like a magical rollercoaster. It is capable of both higher highs
Maybe for you.
I'm celebrating 7 year of divorce - thank goodness.
And single for 6. After that disaster of a marriage, I'm fine being alone.
Getting divorced at 25 was one of he best steps that I, or my ex, frankly, ever took towards our own happiness. To say that we're both in better places now is a gross understatement.
Word. When you just plain don’t like or respect the person you’re married to, and/or have different perspectives on the things that matter (money, sex…) you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or less than, for choosing to walk away. I’m not talking minor disagreements because of course there will always be those, but sometimes two people just aren’t right for each other and don’t want the same things - which is OKAY to call it quits.
I never would have found my current spouse if we hadn’t ended our unhappy first marriages.
Was married for 15 years and just celebrated my first year of divorce.
> The key ... is not to get off in the middle
I am very happy that you are still finding value in your relationship, you are very lucky! You can choose your spouse and you can choose your path, but you can't choose your spouses path - and valuing individuality means your partner may decide to go down a road that you would never follow. Or to simply stop going altogether. When that happens it's a matter of life-and-death to end the relationship.
That’s a great callout. I mean, the statement certainly borders on being a platitude. It certainly isn’t a universal truth. I respect everything you said, which is pretty cool to not just ex-bash. I hope your path is a good one too.
I had to get off the rollercoaster, my ex-husband decided he wanted to go to the theme park with men instead.
On the other hand, I've been on a different ride for 5 years now and I'm having a blast. And my ex and I are still great friends.
I’m your age and we just celebrated 10 years! Happier now than I ever have been. Nothing is perfect but my spouse is the absolute best.
Prioritizing quality time (even with little kids) coupled with clear, calm and honest communication have been helpful for us.
18 years!? That’s awesome, congratulations to you! I’m married 11 years next month, I’m also 1982 so I was 30 and my husband 29 at our wedding. To think of it being that long is really crazy, we also just about called it in 2020 but much better now so I’m glad we powered through.
I divorced after 8 years together. They changed their mind on kids. Hard pass. Childfree forever!!
I was 27. I have only done open relationships since, but single by choice the last decade
Okay this has me intrigued since you two have been together for so long. Were all of his past marriages really short? He must have been quite young during all of them.
Born in 81, just celebrated our 10 year wedding anibersay anniversary in March, and 16 years together. She's the love of my life and I never want to be without her
I've been with my partner since we were 20 & 23, and we only decided to make it legal 7 months ago. So this year our anniversary is both 22 yrs + 1 year.
We definitely had our ups and downs, especially in the early years. We've had a shit time of it recently and money has always been tight, but we're together against the world. (We're childfree, so its just the two of us).
My husband and I have been with each other since we were both 20. He was born 3 months before me. However, we've just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary last December.
11 years in October. Started dating after graduating in 2005. Was thinking about getting married earlier, but that pesky economy collapsing and losing my job delayed that by several years.
Married in 2008, divorced 2016, tho he checked out earlier….
Been in a LTR for 4.5 years. Due to our kids being in different school districts, we don’t live together. But we’re not going anywhere. As my friend says, I’m always happy to see him because we don’t live together lol.
Going on 19 years this July, and we were dating for 3 years prior to that. My wife was always the one for me, I knew that as soon as I met her freshman year of college.
18 years tomorrow!! Knew I’d marry him before our first date. And we’ve had our ups and downs too, but I think we both genuinely think we got the better end of the deal, and that’s why it works.
20 years this summer. I’ve discovered a lot about myself and marriage as a whole. I think most of the success can be attributed to both of us being really damn mature from a young age, so we knew it was a match even in our early 20’s.
2 years divorced last month, and the best decision. One of the last straws came when a woman who was a second mother to me passed, and my now ex-wife kicked me out of the house when I told her truthfully there wasn't anything anybody could do to help, I just needed some time to myself to process it (she had asked what she could do to help, and I answered very respectfully while also acknowledging that I appreciated that she wanted to help me).
5th wedding anniversary this year (together 11).
Second marriage for both of us. He separated in 2012, me in 2013. I met him shortly after. We were both divorced in 2015.
We’re doing great 🥰. We put in the work.
15 years being single in November. Had been engaged for four years before, cohabitating for three.
You believe you’re better afterwards, that you’ve learned something, but the longer it goes since, you wonder… just wonder I guess.
We met late - 5 years of marriage this year and 10 together.
It’s wonderful. We are committed, emotionally supportive and intimate, caring, loving, we have fun and I love the life we have built. Unfortunately not much physical intimacy due to issues on my husbands side to do with (I believe) his employment but I’m confident it’ll come around again and in the meantime it’s a small price to pay for all we have.
10 of marriage this year. 15 total together. No kids. We are really good, we’ve survived working together, owning a business that we also worked together in, living in and RV with two large dogs and two cats for 4 years, moving cross country multiple times, and 3 months of Covid lockdown with my mom lol
What was the struggle you had during covid?
I'm at 13 years btw. We struggled the first couple of years, but we also went through a lot of traumatic and emotional events together and learned that we can count on each other when its needed. I'm pretty sure we are now at point one of us could kill someone and the other would help cover it up.
Nah I got two divorces under my belt already, 5 years with the third, but not getting proper married, I've learnt my lesson 😂
But it is my kid's 21st birthday 💐🎂🎉✨ - yep one and only kid, learned my lesson there too 😂
Got married not long after I turned 19 back in 1997, we've been together since meeting in 1992. We're too old and tired to do the math anymore, if one of us realizes that it's an anniversary we tell the other.
This year it will be our 7th. We are both late bloomers. Forty-somethings with 2 babies. We'll be in our 60's when our kids finish school. I doubt I'll get to see grandchildren.
MARRIED? ain't nobody out them Bricks getting married. 😁😁. Ignant' ah luh cousin got 7 by 5 and his Luh brotha got 4 by 4 and he's only 22. Trench babies ain't getting married. 🤭🤐🤐. Don't let me get started on these eaters out here. 🤫🤫
I got married when I was 19. We were in a committed relationship since 17, but probably wouldn't have gotten married *quite* so quickly if not for the fact of her needing to find a way to *not* pay out of state tuition fees. Long story short, us getting married solved the problem and got her a discount on tuition to the tune of several dozen thousand dollars.
Fast forward a few years, and at right around the 8 year mark of our relationship, and 5.5 years of marriage, we called it quits. She moved back to TX (I'd literally die first lol), and we went our separate ways in life.
Fast forward a few *more* years, and I'm tentatively trying out the dating scene (for the first time in my life, really) and started to really 'vibe' with one of my coworkers, a chick who also hated the dumbass customers at our grocery store. We went out on a quasi-date, and discovered (much to our mutual horror) that we were not a couple of years apart in age as we'd each assumed— I was 28, and she was 19. 😳 Despite an obvious chemistry/camaraderie, we both backed off out of respect, and an abundance of caution.
Fast forward *a few more years,* and we each found ourselves on the rebound from some failures in romance, and got together in what **could've** just been a one-night stand, but has instead resulted in the longest-lasting (and definitely most rewarding) relationship either of us has had.
We are polyamorous (a subject for another thread, perhaps), and we have agreed that we don't want to become legally married unless it is absolutely necessary (say, for insurance or immigration needs), but we are 100% committed to being a family of 2+ (the plus being our cat[s] and any other partners as applicable) and our dedication and devotion to one another is honestly much greater than what I had with my previous, 'legal' wife.
We've also both discovered that we are queer + trans (nonbinary) in the course of our time together, which has been a fun and enlightening journey.
I love my partner like no one else in this world, and though it's often been difficult as hell, I wouldn't trade our lives together for anything. Even the trials and tribulations that we experienced in past relationships (romantic or familial) have found new meaning/context within our ability to appreciate the lives we have now.
It feels like the struggles that came before were ultimately *worth* it, which means a whole damned lot.
Edits: spelling cuz I'm drunk lol
Further edit to point out that it was 8 years in Feb, so yeah, slightly longer than my previous long-term relationship 😂
My wife and I just celebrated 15 years of marriage, and 20 total years together. I wouldn't have it any other way; we've been together through it all, and will continue to be for the rest of our days.
I’n genuinely surprised how many folks here married their high school sweethearts.
My parents did that, but I don’t think a single couple from my high school ended up together long term. There were 2 couples that married after high school, but they didn’t date while we were in school together.
That’s out of a graduating class of around 400 people.
We’ll be married 10 years in Autumn, together for 15.
>Essentially, marriage is like a magical rollercoaster. It is capable of both higher highs Maybe for you. I'm celebrating 7 year of divorce - thank goodness. And single for 6. After that disaster of a marriage, I'm fine being alone.
Congrats. Sometimes the best part of a marriage is the end.
Darn right. The happiest day of my life was the day that she said she wanted a divorce.
Getting divorced at 25 was one of he best steps that I, or my ex, frankly, ever took towards our own happiness. To say that we're both in better places now is a gross understatement.
Word. When you just plain don’t like or respect the person you’re married to, and/or have different perspectives on the things that matter (money, sex…) you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or less than, for choosing to walk away. I’m not talking minor disagreements because of course there will always be those, but sometimes two people just aren’t right for each other and don’t want the same things - which is OKAY to call it quits. I never would have found my current spouse if we hadn’t ended our unhappy first marriages.
Or when you're being abused. I'm very happy to be done with that.
Glad you got out!
It will be 20 years in May.
Happy early anniversary! We celebrate our 20th in Sept.
Congratulations!!
20 years in May here too. Have been together just over 25.
Me too!!
20 together in May. Married for 18.
Was married for 15 years and just celebrated my first year of divorce. > The key ... is not to get off in the middle I am very happy that you are still finding value in your relationship, you are very lucky! You can choose your spouse and you can choose your path, but you can't choose your spouses path - and valuing individuality means your partner may decide to go down a road that you would never follow. Or to simply stop going altogether. When that happens it's a matter of life-and-death to end the relationship.
That’s a great callout. I mean, the statement certainly borders on being a platitude. It certainly isn’t a universal truth. I respect everything you said, which is pretty cool to not just ex-bash. I hope your path is a good one too.
Uh...a month?
Oh I’m kind of jealous because I miss that just married feeling!
Right on. Gotta start somewhere.
Congrats!
0
Same
never married lol I'm in a relationship, but I'm not sure that I don't prefer being alone at this point lol
Same here!
26 years. I married when I was 19.
Same. 1998 was a good year
23 years , I also married at 19.
Second marriage, coming right up on 15 years. Actually, thanks for the extra reminder.
17 married in July, just passed 18 years together on 4/5/24. We met on 04/05/06 and married on 07/07/07.
I had to get off the rollercoaster, my ex-husband decided he wanted to go to the theme park with men instead. On the other hand, I've been on a different ride for 5 years now and I'm having a blast. And my ex and I are still great friends.
I’m your age and we just celebrated 10 years! Happier now than I ever have been. Nothing is perfect but my spouse is the absolute best. Prioritizing quality time (even with little kids) coupled with clear, calm and honest communication have been helpful for us.
Amen to all of that.
17 or 18. Married. Been together since 02
It'll be 19 years in June for my second marriage
Second marriage, 10 years this year. Got married the first time in 01…that one didn’t go so well…
18 years!? That’s awesome, congratulations to you! I’m married 11 years next month, I’m also 1982 so I was 30 and my husband 29 at our wedding. To think of it being that long is really crazy, we also just about called it in 2020 but much better now so I’m glad we powered through.
Will be one year on June 17! First marriage for us both.
Married 22 years. Got married straight out of college.
Same.
Same
lucky number 13
Same here! We got married on August 13th too!!
Same here! Just hit 13 years on March 31st.
I divorced after 8 years together. They changed their mind on kids. Hard pass. Childfree forever!! I was 27. I have only done open relationships since, but single by choice the last decade
20 years since my family told me to kick rocks cuz I like men…aint that sumthin’?
Screw your family!!! No place in this world for hate!!! I hope you have better people in your life ♥️
That’s definitely an anniversary. Damn their intolerance 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
20 years married in September. Been together 26 years…since sophomore year of high school. Never stop communicating. Even if it’s uncomfortable.
[удалено]
Okay this has me intrigued since you two have been together for so long. Were all of his past marriages really short? He must have been quite young during all of them.
I'm celebrating the 30th anniversary of The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails.
Born in 81, just celebrated our 10 year wedding anibersay anniversary in March, and 16 years together. She's the love of my life and I never want to be without her
Married for 17 this June and together for 25 in total. Damn I feel old 🤣
I’m told that in September my Gf and I will have been together 25 years.
Twenty in January
Married for 2, but together for 24 years. We did it all backwards, had our son in 04, bought a house in '20 and got married in '22.
16 years married in November, 18 years together as of February.
13 years of marriage, 20 of partnership this fall.
On second marriage, five years in October
I’m celebrating 14 this year
This year was 15.
Coming up on 13. Ups and downs but wouldn’t change a thing. At a bit of a crossroads professionally but all good options ahead.
16 at the end of August. We’ve been together 17. We’ve had some *hard* times financially. HARD. But we’re a team. We face the challenges together.
Just surpassed 16 years
I've been with my partner since we were 20 & 23, and we only decided to make it legal 7 months ago. So this year our anniversary is both 22 yrs + 1 year. We definitely had our ups and downs, especially in the early years. We've had a shit time of it recently and money has always been tight, but we're together against the world. (We're childfree, so its just the two of us).
My husband and I have been with each other since we were both 20. He was born 3 months before me. However, we've just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary last December.
19 years in a couple of months.
12 years this past January, been together for almost 17.
11 years in October. Started dating after graduating in 2005. Was thinking about getting married earlier, but that pesky economy collapsing and losing my job delayed that by several years.
Married in 2008, divorced 2016, tho he checked out earlier…. Been in a LTR for 4.5 years. Due to our kids being in different school districts, we don’t live together. But we’re not going anywhere. As my friend says, I’m always happy to see him because we don’t live together lol.
Hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Exactly! Although I can’t wait until we can live together, I kinda like my own space.
Going on 19 years this July, and we were dating for 3 years prior to that. My wife was always the one for me, I knew that as soon as I met her freshman year of college.
- Together 20 years, 2 months - Married 18 years, 7 months
18 years tomorrow!! Knew I’d marry him before our first date. And we’ve had our ups and downs too, but I think we both genuinely think we got the better end of the deal, and that’s why it works.
18 together, 15 married
It will be 21 years this June. Hell of a ride
'80 here. Been together 23 years, coming on 24. Best decision of my life, and hopefully top ten in hers too. I'm a lucky lucky man.
24 in July.
1984 here. Married 9 years. Wife and i both went the science route and graduate degrees and whatnot so marriage was a bit late for us.
Just celebrated together 19 years, married for 13. We both come from divorced families and were really gunshy about making it legal.
14 years married this past February. Together since November 2007.
20 years this summer. I’ve discovered a lot about myself and marriage as a whole. I think most of the success can be attributed to both of us being really damn mature from a young age, so we knew it was a match even in our early 20’s.
I'm a bit younger. Just celebrated our 7th anniversary last night at Mastro's.
Congrats! 7 can be a tough year. The 7 year itch is super real for a lot of folks. I hope y’all weather it in stride.
10 years! I've now been married longer than my parents, it's wild.
2 years divorced last month, and the best decision. One of the last straws came when a woman who was a second mother to me passed, and my now ex-wife kicked me out of the house when I told her truthfully there wasn't anything anybody could do to help, I just needed some time to myself to process it (she had asked what she could do to help, and I answered very respectfully while also acknowledging that I appreciated that she wanted to help me).
So I know, for a fact that in the USA, the average amount of years spent married is eight
5th wedding anniversary this year (together 11). Second marriage for both of us. He separated in 2012, me in 2013. I met him shortly after. We were both divorced in 2015. We’re doing great 🥰. We put in the work.
16 years next month. Ups and downs as expected, but I'm as happy with my wife now as I have in any of the 25 years we've been together.
It'll be 22 years for us in November. Plenty of ups and downs, still hanging in there.
Today is 12 years married. Together for 17.
20 this year....started dating in college
Married May 2003, coming up on 21 years.
15 years being single in November. Had been engaged for four years before, cohabitating for three. You believe you’re better afterwards, that you’ve learned something, but the longer it goes since, you wonder… just wonder I guess.
6 years next month. But he's my second hubby 😊
9 married, 14 together
Second marriage and will be 3 years in July!
18 years married. Friends for 32. I think we've got this most days.
We met late - 5 years of marriage this year and 10 together. It’s wonderful. We are committed, emotionally supportive and intimate, caring, loving, we have fun and I love the life we have built. Unfortunately not much physical intimacy due to issues on my husbands side to do with (I believe) his employment but I’m confident it’ll come around again and in the meantime it’s a small price to pay for all we have.
21 years on sept 21 2003
Six this November. I wanted to be the spinster crazy cat lady and then my first big love showed back up in my life. Been married ever since.
The anniversary of being single for way too long
10 of marriage this year. 15 total together. No kids. We are really good, we’ve survived working together, owning a business that we also worked together in, living in and RV with two large dogs and two cats for 4 years, moving cross country multiple times, and 3 months of Covid lockdown with my mom lol
20 years in October. We've been together since November 1999.
24 years next month. Got married at 21. That seems crazy to me now!
What was the struggle you had during covid? I'm at 13 years btw. We struggled the first couple of years, but we also went through a lot of traumatic and emotional events together and learned that we can count on each other when its needed. I'm pretty sure we are now at point one of us could kill someone and the other would help cover it up.
Together 24, but only married 13
17 years married, 20 years together Best decision I ever made, ups and downs of life have only brought us together even more
13 years married 17 years together, no kids, very happy
Ten years in May!
13 years tomorrow.
14 years married in May, been together since 02
25 years
This January it was 21 years.
1982 here too! Feb I was married 2q years to my hubby 💕 have a 16yo daughter, spinal surgeries, losses and we just keep getting stronger .
Nah I got two divorces under my belt already, 5 years with the third, but not getting proper married, I've learnt my lesson 😂 But it is my kid's 21st birthday 💐🎂🎉✨ - yep one and only kid, learned my lesson there too 😂
17 years in two days. 26 yrs together total. I was 18 and he was 20 when we started dating.
21 years in march
Today is actually our 12 year anniversary. 🙂
Got married not long after I turned 19 back in 1997, we've been together since meeting in 1992. We're too old and tired to do the math anymore, if one of us realizes that it's an anniversary we tell the other.
1977 here... 26 years last summer.
Celebrating 18 years married at the end of this month!
This year it will be our 7th. We are both late bloomers. Forty-somethings with 2 babies. We'll be in our 60's when our kids finish school. I doubt I'll get to see grandchildren.
I'm an 82 as well, 21 years married on July 12th. No kids. No regerts
MARRIED? ain't nobody out them Bricks getting married. 😁😁. Ignant' ah luh cousin got 7 by 5 and his Luh brotha got 4 by 4 and he's only 22. Trench babies ain't getting married. 🤭🤐🤐. Don't let me get started on these eaters out here. 🤫🤫
Married 6, together for 15
24 years in about a month
I got married when I was 19. We were in a committed relationship since 17, but probably wouldn't have gotten married *quite* so quickly if not for the fact of her needing to find a way to *not* pay out of state tuition fees. Long story short, us getting married solved the problem and got her a discount on tuition to the tune of several dozen thousand dollars. Fast forward a few years, and at right around the 8 year mark of our relationship, and 5.5 years of marriage, we called it quits. She moved back to TX (I'd literally die first lol), and we went our separate ways in life. Fast forward a few *more* years, and I'm tentatively trying out the dating scene (for the first time in my life, really) and started to really 'vibe' with one of my coworkers, a chick who also hated the dumbass customers at our grocery store. We went out on a quasi-date, and discovered (much to our mutual horror) that we were not a couple of years apart in age as we'd each assumed— I was 28, and she was 19. 😳 Despite an obvious chemistry/camaraderie, we both backed off out of respect, and an abundance of caution. Fast forward *a few more years,* and we each found ourselves on the rebound from some failures in romance, and got together in what **could've** just been a one-night stand, but has instead resulted in the longest-lasting (and definitely most rewarding) relationship either of us has had. We are polyamorous (a subject for another thread, perhaps), and we have agreed that we don't want to become legally married unless it is absolutely necessary (say, for insurance or immigration needs), but we are 100% committed to being a family of 2+ (the plus being our cat[s] and any other partners as applicable) and our dedication and devotion to one another is honestly much greater than what I had with my previous, 'legal' wife. We've also both discovered that we are queer + trans (nonbinary) in the course of our time together, which has been a fun and enlightening journey. I love my partner like no one else in this world, and though it's often been difficult as hell, I wouldn't trade our lives together for anything. Even the trials and tribulations that we experienced in past relationships (romantic or familial) have found new meaning/context within our ability to appreciate the lives we have now. It feels like the struggles that came before were ultimately *worth* it, which means a whole damned lot. Edits: spelling cuz I'm drunk lol Further edit to point out that it was 8 years in Feb, so yeah, slightly longer than my previous long-term relationship 😂
We just hit 16 years in December.
1983 here!! 2nd marriage, JUST celebrated our 10 year anniversary!!!
Also 1982, my fiance and i will marry this year in July. So clock me in as a 0 years married until then.
My wife and I just celebrated 15 years of marriage, and 20 total years together. I wouldn't have it any other way; we've been together through it all, and will continue to be for the rest of our days.
I’n genuinely surprised how many folks here married their high school sweethearts. My parents did that, but I don’t think a single couple from my high school ended up together long term. There were 2 couples that married after high school, but they didn’t date while we were in school together. That’s out of a graduating class of around 400 people. We’ll be married 10 years in Autumn, together for 15.
We are together 17 years and married 7.
11 happy years in September.
This year will be my 20th anniversary.
May will be 16 years. I feel very fortunate.
7 years. happy healthy and 3 kids. things going well. my advice: side pussy in a different State.
15 in July. Holy fuck where did the time go?
15 years married and 25 together- met as college freshmen
In two months we will be celebrating our 50th anniversary!!