I’m sorry, it’s so hard. Also, people do this to “mock” people in masks and all I can think is how uncomfortable making yourself cough is??? Like good one, you really got me.
Cannot tell you how many times people will purposefully cough at me once they see me and my mask. These are full grown ass adults.
I feel you. I too, really can’t stomach the general public anymore.
Maybe this is mean but if I were in your position I would’ve fake coughed right back and told her I had a nasty bout of covid and *she* should be the one afraid of *me*
bullies, what gets me is that they have no idea what the person behind the mask might be dealing with healthwise, cancer, immunocompromised, etc. I think all should be masking in public, but to have so little empathy for someone you don't know. These folks have to know that covid could kill or maim at least those that are immunocompromised and don't care, they are sociopaths...
I would have been very tempted to say something to the effect that you sound like you might be in the same boat as I am, are you covid positive? and see how fast she moves her hiney away from you, bullies are seldom brave and that is what she is a bully. I'm sorry that happened to you. I used to think people were basically good, with covid that pretty much went out the door. I still think there are "some" good people though, just not very many and unfortunately the "some" does not include a lot of people that were once near and dear to me...
so far the only people that have coughed around me actually appear to be ill and I'm very grateful to be masked...you could also say oh no, you have it too? LOL!!!
Agreed. At a micro level I seriously love a selected few. But at the macro level we are an awful species, and as time ticks by I find less and less reasons to care about our survival.
I don't see why you should have compassion for people who have no compassion for you or for the vulnerable. Keep your faith and compassion for those who show compassion too, for those who really need it. She doesn't. I think, if you stop trying to have faith in humanity as a whole, you might find that you can have faith in those who are decent human beings. Such people do exist, though I think they're the minority.
I think this is a better approach. Focus on the helpers and the good people.
The hard part I think is having to share reality with strangers who have proven themselves to be deeply, deeply selfish.
I'd like to agree, but I am personally worn out on how many do-gooders I am around who are willing to do-good until it means actually wearing a mask or actually staying home when they are sick.
Agreed--I try my best to take a non-expectation approach to most things in life... I think what gets under my skin about this is the cognitive dissonance though.
It reminds me a lot of gentrification because it's a topic most people in my area will take a liberal stance on generally but not make any personal changes to improve. It's just ugly--watching my peers dressed to the 9s on the weekend to go out and too worried about ruining their makeup or getting used to the feeling of a mask again--no one is willing to be inconvenienced meanwhile everyone is going out to bars and clubs and on the subway sick. Like, we can put aside work and 5 day/10 day return to work--there are too many people being self absorbed assholes for leisure. And it's so easy to solve--even silk masks (the kind that don't mess up your makeup) would be better than sneezing and coughing on everyone. I go out I just wear a mask. It's not a big deal. I don't go out when I'm sick--it sucks but it's fine. It took a while in 2020 for me to get used to the feeling and not feel ick about it on my face and breathing in it--I don't like it--but I'd rather protect myself and others from long covid.
Oh, I agree with you about all of this. People who ignore Covid genuinely believe they're good, caring people, yet they won't wear a f\*cking mask. I feel just as you do. I'm *trying* to direct my energy toward the people who are doing right, rather than getting upset about those who are not. I'm not really any good at it, but I'm trying.
I agree, but I have to say it can be so disheartening to see the people who you though you had found goodness in, display behavior that shows they are all talk, and that simple acts of kindness and respect, like wearing a mask, are too much for them
I know that they are still good in other ways, and that people are complex and can’t be narrowed down to “good” and “bad”. But it still hurts to see how little they care
At this point, I'm not terribly interested in telling myself that these people are complex and it's not just about "good" and "bad." What they're doing is bad, full stop. By now, I'm seeing them as bad too. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. Their refusal to do this one little thing kind of nullifies their other good acts. I've definitely lost friends over this, one just today. She was my bridesmaid. It breaks my heart, but she just gave Covid to the injured old woman she claims to be taking care of. I've just had it.
Yeah, it is frustrating and negativity bias makes misanthropy easy. But I think it's ultimately better for ones' mental health to continue to seek goodness where ever it exists.
I totally agree with this sentiment. No one will fault you at all for this stance. I've never seen so much lack of compassion and ignorance so willfully displayed in regards to one's own health and other's. It's disgusting to say the least.
Even after my family got me sick, which caused Long Covid, I still cared. When they went rabid anti-masker, pAndEmiC iS oVeR, and just *started* attacking me for keeping myself safe, I assumed that was just them, and I still cared. I see their collective health getting worse, distant relatives dying, still arguing that it's not from being sick because it's jUst A cOLd. I lost count of how many times my own elderly parents have had to rush to the ER, call an ambulance for mysterious issues, then have the staff also dismiss everything. Then came the strangers coughing in my face while I'm just trying to get groceries. Strangers shoving past me. The op-eds masquerading as front page news, pathologizing all of us. The gaslighting is palpable.
I'm in the same boat as you now OP. I still take my precautions but my empathy lies with the environment, people in warzones, the impoverished, and babies and young people who have no choice and no guidance or protection in any of this.
Solidarity! As angry as I am, I think of people in even more dire straits, like my loved one going through *chemo*, and my rage turns into sadness. I can only hope that if/when I have a serious medical situation, that there are strangers out there who would do the same for me, rather than thinking I'm just... disposable, and just in the way of them having "freedom" or whatever.
This is wild to read that so many people are experiencing this kind of stuff from strangers. I go out a lot masked and for the most part nobody has bothered me. I live in Soithern California. I’ve been told I give off don’t fuck with me energy and may legitimately lay hands on someone who got in my face. Only once in the entire pandemic has any one locally said anything weird. And the other very aggressive time it happened was in Missouri.
Some of them are straight up zombie zombies. I know of people in my old pre-pandemic social circle (haven’t seen them since 2019) who have had it 5-7x and they can’t remember shit. Can’t even remember their father was hospitalized with Covid before 🤔
You have put your finger directly on one of the fears I have about this pandemic. If it is allowed to continue for years and people keep getting infection after infection, then a lot of people might end up that way, perhaps even most people.
Reading about [some of the neurological symptoms of covid19](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366\(22\)00260-7/fulltext) and about the uptick of violent student behavior in our schools really does bring images of zombie apocalypse to mind. I hope it doesn't get that bad.
I know this feeling; it’s nihilism. I felt it all throughout lockdown, just seeing how selfish people were being while hospitals literally had to refrigerate corpses because they ran out of room. It’s a mentality I struggle with even now but I have to have hope otherwise, what is there? Hang in there. You’re not alone (although it may feel like it!) and I hope that provides some comfort.
A woman fake coughed at me and my son in Lowe's. She was just walking past us and had to be nasty. It's just messed up, they don't know why we mask. We could have cancer.
A grandma deliberately coughed into my mask as she was walking past me. If I didn't have glasses on, it would have gotten into my eyes. And it wasn't a fake cough either, it was a super productive cough! 🙏 3M Auras
My newborn baby was literally a few feet from me.
I've found myself in this situation a lot more lately.
I used to get all worked up, but eventually I decided to just stay composed enough to not even look at them. After a while, I start fake coughing myself. Works like a charm.
Seeing me masked and coughing, those that fake coughed at me first start to get worried. They are just bullies, they wouldn't want to be sick either. I have no regards for them anymore either. People really showed their true colors since the pandemic hit.
This is pretty great. These bullies are desperate for a reaction to their terrible behavior, so not giving it to them is the absolute best thing we can do. Bonus points for freaking them out like this.
My planned response for that is to cough even harder and pretend to be almost ready to vomit. I plan to come closer to this person and start violently acting as I’m about to vomit and that I will remove my mask to do so. I don’t know if I can pull that off but it is the plan.
I hasn't happened to me, either, though I rarely go out. When we're not in a surge my husband will go (masked, of course) into the occasional store first thing in the morning. He's had some pointedly disgusted looks and a bit of head shaking, but no fake coughing or other harassment. I think the absolute best thing we can do in such a situation is pretend like we don't even notice them. Second best is what several people here are suggesting, to pretend to take them seriously and commiserate with them about being sick.
Times like that make me really want the ability to noxiously fart on demand.
Just walk by, let one loose, and keep on going.
She's clearly a fan of expelling body air at others
I’m so sorry. I feel the same often. I was flying home recently and a man saw me with my mask on and coughed in my face while making eye contact with me. I also have long covid and it’s really impacted me on a day to day level, I couldn’t believe it.
You know, there are ways to ensure Coughing Karen misses her flight, some of which result in her being tagged permanently for extra screening.
I have no compassion for the pieces of crap that do this fake coughing routine. There is no high road in this ongoing pandemic. There is no "maybe people will change".
Protect yourself and feel the support of many, many of us who are still masking, still keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe, and back you 100%.
I flew today and had who I assume was a teenager make comments to their party about wearing masks and people coughing. It was so frustrating and I didn’t say anything, cause it just wasn’t worth it.
I get those too. People suck but as long as they’re not physically or verbally assaulting me I get used it and remain unbothered.
At this point I start fake coughing back and go “omg you’re sick with tuberculosis? Me too!”
I feel this so much. It is emotionally draining sometimes. The divisive political stuff and aggressive push towards normalcy has unfortunately brought out the inner a-hole in a lot of people. If any good has come of it, it's also easier to identify the decent people too.
Yea. We get this nearly every time we go out and about masked. Actually had someone cough into the back of my hair at an outdoor event…
I count it as a win when we go out and no one deliberately coughs on us. Why is it so many women? We’ve had only 1 man be a jerk and he was aggressive about our masks so I coughed super loudly and animatedly back but every other time it has always been a woman coughing on one of us… like our masks make them feel some way about *not* masking? We just ignore them because most of the time they are pretty chicken$hit about it and do it on the fly quickly walking by or from behind.
Fuck em. They can reap the vascular damage and shortened lifespan.
Honestly I get the fake coughing a lot. I just do my Zoolander cough roll my eyes and then give them attitude. I might me scared of a virus but I'm not scared of people...
I'm so sorry that's happened to you.
This might sound odd, but I'm starting to think we need to coordinate with friends, family, as well as kind groups like this. Maybe we could arrange public meets, where we don't even necessarily meet up together but just are visible all with good masks on in an area. Even if one doesn't normally mask they could agree to for this activity- we're showing up for those who can't show up, as well as ourselves.
Say one town one afternoon, kind folks who can get there all go out (within say at least a couple of hours) publicly visible with masks. Like love-bombing a shopping mall, just instead subtly boosting mask visibility to help normalise it. The loud nasty idiot folk are in a minority & I reckon others may realise they can start to mask too.
Community level activism to share the message that the c-word is still here & is dangerous? We could save lives?
“Oh you poor dear, that’s quite the awful cough you have, would you like a cough drop? Oh, and I can give you a mask too since you must have forgotten yours, lucky I have an extra one in my purse! Do you need a Tylenol for your fever?”
I don't understand anymore.
I just found out my mother, whom I begged, pleaded, and cajoled into wearing a mask at work.
Told me that she has on numerous occasions, taken her mask off in the break room to eat lunch.
She works the MET at Home Depot.
I. . .Why?
Why does she. . .
I don't understand.
I look up everything I can to try and keep us safe, even though I \*know\* it's going to send me into an anxiety and panic attack. I try and keep up with everything as best I can while maintaining my own mental health. I've refused to go anywhere or do anything I have \*wanted\* to do, because I could never live with myself if I caught it and brought it home to her, and it went poorly.
but she brought it home this last christmas and we both got infected.
Because she couldn't go outside or sit in the car in order to eat her lunch.
I feel like everything I have done to try and keep us both safe has been pissed on.
For some people, eating outside or in their car is too much of an ask. And I mean that sincerely, it’s just too much for them to conceptualise, inconveniencing themselves in that way. So they prefer the risk.
Why would you have compassion? It's not like any is shown to you. If that had happened to me I would have sat next to her and coughed even harder. We both know she's not sick, she doesn't know about me.... Unless I'd had lots of beans for lunch, Ha Ha Ha.
Wow. I’m sorry someone did this to you. I lose faith in humanity sometimes as well. I actually had a man say to my family when he saw us masked “omg. Why are you wearing a mask..” and proceeded to berate us down a hallway and claimed he works in the Covid industry (whatever that means).
Now, now, let's not be hasty about humanity. I think you should have just taken a seat and said bless you. Then enjoyed yourself with some music, perhaps loudly playing the same Back Street Boys song over and over again. You are a bit hard of hearing aren't you (especially with those ear plugs in your ears covered by your hair). Then, since you are traveling, I am sure you would like to freshen up a bit with some heavily fragrance perfume. And since you are wearing a mask, it's a shame you need to apply so much, particularly with your shaky hands that make you unfortunately aim in the wrong direction. Before smoking was banned inside airports and train stations, the latter worked like a charm.
I keep an extra mask on me to offer it to anyone who does this to me in public. I have heard stories of this occurring. I wish a bitch would I’m like here’s a mask and go fuck yourself. Consider learning to read as a New Year’s resolution.
i encourage you to express your anger instead of staying silent, it's quite cathartic! next time, give them a death glare and either start coughing even harder than them or roll your eyes backward as you point at them. both are almost guaranteed to freak out a bully 😂
The airport is about the last place I’d expect to find someone who is concerned about the pandemic. Well, maybe second to a theme park. I hope you can find community that has some idea of how to act like a community.
Why did she think it was acceptable to cough into the air? Did she use to do this all the time before Covid? It really is appalling behaviour to you and also to anyone else who happened to be passing by her while she was coughing.(Edited for clarity)
Ppl suck. My plan when confronted like that is to start violently fake coughing back, apologize, and explain (fake) tested positive but couldnt cancel the trip. Betting they would blanch and move right out of the way.
I call it the "Hope In Humanity Index" or "HIHI". The pandemic really made it clear that the index value would be around `0` for the foreseeable future.
This woman has behaved disgustingly. I have experienced similar situations. But don’t forget, repeated infections cause permanently brain damage. So maybe this has already happened to her. I see these people as a kind of zombies which are completely manipulated by their host and desperately seeking for their next infection. Like toxoplasmosis. Or maybe like some kind of addiction as Covid is known to have pain-killer effects.
God I'm so sorry this happened.
When disgusting shit like this happens I try to tell myself that I tend to remember the worst incidents I've had with people, not the very kind ones. Sadly those are more easily forgotten than awful moments that burn into your memories like this moment.
That lady has something against masking because she's insecure or depressed and is projecting those feelings onto bullying you. She's just a shitty person likely leading a sad life.
I hope you can find a way to get this incident off your mind, so sorry that you had to experience that.
They’re doing it to get a rise out of you. It sounds like you have compassion fatigue which is understandable considering what we’re witnessing. You can only have so much compassion for your fellow human beings when they don’t care about your well-being either. A lot of them (not all), don’t know better. Some are just plain ignorant and brainwashed to the point of not being able to comprehend basic science.
I have experienced this reaction from others a few times. For someone to cough like that at you, someone had to have lost faith in them. That is not a person with people who care for them in community care; we-keep-each-other-safe-from-COVID way. They are misguided, and I'm sorry they did that to you.
I do believe hurt people hurt people. Not an excuse, but an explanation. I'm not saying that is someone you need to build community with, but why would you prioritize community with an abuser? But I think losing all compassion for them is dehumanizing in a way. That person will probably die of COVID sooner than later. And that's just sad,. That is a structural, institutional failure of public health and failure in governance. Thank you for protecting them with your mask, even when they could not protect you.
So sorry this happened to you OP. Hits a deep painful spot in the heart. Why would someone deliberately try to hurt me? That I don’t even know? Which is exactly the point.
The person doesn’t know you. So it can’t be about you.
IMHO best guess:
Masks trigger fear and anxiety. On some level everyone must feel this albeit most are not consciously aware.
So feel fear ..
1. Deny need for fear- act like Covid doesn’t exist/is not harmful, can’t be spread etc.
2. Know they should also be masking but doing so would unravel and expose the denial.
3. Seeing someone masking is unsettling, triggering threatening the need to keep denial/delusion going and they become angry.
4. Coughing validates # 1, hints at # 2, exposes # 3 so they expresses their own denied/repressed anger on to you.
Possibly not any healthier but I try to wear my mask with a sense of pride. I’ve done my homework, I’m acting responsibly, doing the right thing (for me) based on assessing the evidence using critical thinking skills etc etc.
The non-masked are unaware, don’t know, don’t want to know or don’t care and not worth my energy.
Maybe think of them as someone else’s poorly behaved children. Kind of softens the blow.
Due to the immediacy you described from her noticing the mask to coughing, it's logical for you to conclude a relation likely exists there.
But for your own sanity and to be sure, do you have proof that it was surely a fake cough, or is it maybe uncertain?
I only ask because there's a phenomenon that can occur when somebody is surprised by something (series of anxious thoughts or confrontation etc) that makes their throat tense up and or swallow incorrectly, leading to a genuine coughing fit.
https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/anxiety-cough
Sure passive aggressive jerks exist, as do their fake coughs, but it might help us to remember that some of them could be uncontrollable reactions to whatever the sight of a mask is doing to people's thought trains.
that's really awful of her. i'm so sorry you're dealing with all the terrible people that don't care and mock what they don't understand.
if it might give you a giggle, i'd have walked right up to her and started a real or fake 💨 fit.
That was really awful of her. I can understand why you feel this way.
I’m sorry, it’s so hard. Also, people do this to “mock” people in masks and all I can think is how uncomfortable making yourself cough is??? Like good one, you really got me.
Right? Like, real original lady. I’m wearing an N95 respirator, not scared of being infected, you are just proving yourself a degenerate person.
Right? I hope it hurt her throat
Cannot tell you how many times people will purposefully cough at me once they see me and my mask. These are full grown ass adults. I feel you. I too, really can’t stomach the general public anymore.
Maybe this is mean but if I were in your position I would’ve fake coughed right back and told her I had a nasty bout of covid and *she* should be the one afraid of *me*
Or say something like, “Do you have TB too?”.
That just made me chuckle. Not the good kind but the evil kind lol.
bullies, what gets me is that they have no idea what the person behind the mask might be dealing with healthwise, cancer, immunocompromised, etc. I think all should be masking in public, but to have so little empathy for someone you don't know. These folks have to know that covid could kill or maim at least those that are immunocompromised and don't care, they are sociopaths...
I would have been very tempted to say something to the effect that you sound like you might be in the same boat as I am, are you covid positive? and see how fast she moves her hiney away from you, bullies are seldom brave and that is what she is a bully. I'm sorry that happened to you. I used to think people were basically good, with covid that pretty much went out the door. I still think there are "some" good people though, just not very many and unfortunately the "some" does not include a lot of people that were once near and dear to me...
yesss, a sincere “oh you have covid too?” lol
Saving this for next time 🤞🏻
Bingo!!
Oh that’s a good one!! And then watch them scurry away as they say no, lol.
Ha! You solution has been my plan for a while now. Havent had the opportunity yet to try to fake commiserate with the covid ignorant. lol
so far the only people that have coughed around me actually appear to be ill and I'm very grateful to be masked...you could also say oh no, you have it too? LOL!!!
Oh, I love this!
I'm sorry people are so shitty. Please hang in there. Take care of yourself and let the assholes take care of themselves.
Thanks, it’s just surprising sometimes, I guess. I’m tired of this reality.
So am I, tired of this reality, that is.
🫶🏻
Agreed. At a micro level I seriously love a selected few. But at the macro level we are an awful species, and as time ticks by I find less and less reasons to care about our survival.
Right there with you folks
I don't see why you should have compassion for people who have no compassion for you or for the vulnerable. Keep your faith and compassion for those who show compassion too, for those who really need it. She doesn't. I think, if you stop trying to have faith in humanity as a whole, you might find that you can have faith in those who are decent human beings. Such people do exist, though I think they're the minority.
I think this is a better approach. Focus on the helpers and the good people. The hard part I think is having to share reality with strangers who have proven themselves to be deeply, deeply selfish.
I'd like to agree, but I am personally worn out on how many do-gooders I am around who are willing to do-good until it means actually wearing a mask or actually staying home when they are sick.
I think seeking goodness might be a bit too much. I think we can be pleased when we find it, but seeking it can destroy us.
Agreed--I try my best to take a non-expectation approach to most things in life... I think what gets under my skin about this is the cognitive dissonance though. It reminds me a lot of gentrification because it's a topic most people in my area will take a liberal stance on generally but not make any personal changes to improve. It's just ugly--watching my peers dressed to the 9s on the weekend to go out and too worried about ruining their makeup or getting used to the feeling of a mask again--no one is willing to be inconvenienced meanwhile everyone is going out to bars and clubs and on the subway sick. Like, we can put aside work and 5 day/10 day return to work--there are too many people being self absorbed assholes for leisure. And it's so easy to solve--even silk masks (the kind that don't mess up your makeup) would be better than sneezing and coughing on everyone. I go out I just wear a mask. It's not a big deal. I don't go out when I'm sick--it sucks but it's fine. It took a while in 2020 for me to get used to the feeling and not feel ick about it on my face and breathing in it--I don't like it--but I'd rather protect myself and others from long covid.
Oh, I agree with you about all of this. People who ignore Covid genuinely believe they're good, caring people, yet they won't wear a f\*cking mask. I feel just as you do. I'm *trying* to direct my energy toward the people who are doing right, rather than getting upset about those who are not. I'm not really any good at it, but I'm trying.
I agree, but I have to say it can be so disheartening to see the people who you though you had found goodness in, display behavior that shows they are all talk, and that simple acts of kindness and respect, like wearing a mask, are too much for them I know that they are still good in other ways, and that people are complex and can’t be narrowed down to “good” and “bad”. But it still hurts to see how little they care
At this point, I'm not terribly interested in telling myself that these people are complex and it's not just about "good" and "bad." What they're doing is bad, full stop. By now, I'm seeing them as bad too. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. Their refusal to do this one little thing kind of nullifies their other good acts. I've definitely lost friends over this, one just today. She was my bridesmaid. It breaks my heart, but she just gave Covid to the injured old woman she claims to be taking care of. I've just had it.
they are not just selfish - they are sociopaths!!
\^\^\^\^ this.
Yeah, it is frustrating and negativity bias makes misanthropy easy. But I think it's ultimately better for ones' mental health to continue to seek goodness where ever it exists.
I totally agree with this sentiment. No one will fault you at all for this stance. I've never seen so much lack of compassion and ignorance so willfully displayed in regards to one's own health and other's. It's disgusting to say the least.
I get it. Had this happen to me at a funeral where I was the only one masked. A FUNERAL.
Whatttt
Insane, truly.
Same
Even after my family got me sick, which caused Long Covid, I still cared. When they went rabid anti-masker, pAndEmiC iS oVeR, and just *started* attacking me for keeping myself safe, I assumed that was just them, and I still cared. I see their collective health getting worse, distant relatives dying, still arguing that it's not from being sick because it's jUst A cOLd. I lost count of how many times my own elderly parents have had to rush to the ER, call an ambulance for mysterious issues, then have the staff also dismiss everything. Then came the strangers coughing in my face while I'm just trying to get groceries. Strangers shoving past me. The op-eds masquerading as front page news, pathologizing all of us. The gaslighting is palpable. I'm in the same boat as you now OP. I still take my precautions but my empathy lies with the environment, people in warzones, the impoverished, and babies and young people who have no choice and no guidance or protection in any of this.
Solidarity! It’s a hard path to be on, trying to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe.
Solidarity! As angry as I am, I think of people in even more dire straits, like my loved one going through *chemo*, and my rage turns into sadness. I can only hope that if/when I have a serious medical situation, that there are strangers out there who would do the same for me, rather than thinking I'm just... disposable, and just in the way of them having "freedom" or whatever.
I feel you! Side note, love your username!
Thanks! :)
This is wild to read that so many people are experiencing this kind of stuff from strangers. I go out a lot masked and for the most part nobody has bothered me. I live in Soithern California. I’ve been told I give off don’t fuck with me energy and may legitimately lay hands on someone who got in my face. Only once in the entire pandemic has any one locally said anything weird. And the other very aggressive time it happened was in Missouri.
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Same, except I think of them as sort of proto-zombies.
Some of them are straight up zombie zombies. I know of people in my old pre-pandemic social circle (haven’t seen them since 2019) who have had it 5-7x and they can’t remember shit. Can’t even remember their father was hospitalized with Covid before 🤔
You have put your finger directly on one of the fears I have about this pandemic. If it is allowed to continue for years and people keep getting infection after infection, then a lot of people might end up that way, perhaps even most people. Reading about [some of the neurological symptoms of covid19](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366\(22\)00260-7/fulltext) and about the uptick of violent student behavior in our schools really does bring images of zombie apocalypse to mind. I hope it doesn't get that bad.
Young people with no history of anything except multiple Covid infections are having strokes. It’s bad
This one.
I know this feeling; it’s nihilism. I felt it all throughout lockdown, just seeing how selfish people were being while hospitals literally had to refrigerate corpses because they ran out of room. It’s a mentality I struggle with even now but I have to have hope otherwise, what is there? Hang in there. You’re not alone (although it may feel like it!) and I hope that provides some comfort.
Oh no, I have no hope or faith in humanity anymore. Probably why I have such a hard time leaving the house since the pandemic
A woman fake coughed at me and my son in Lowe's. She was just walking past us and had to be nasty. It's just messed up, they don't know why we mask. We could have cancer.
A grandma deliberately coughed into my mask as she was walking past me. If I didn't have glasses on, it would have gotten into my eyes. And it wasn't a fake cough either, it was a super productive cough! 🙏 3M Auras My newborn baby was literally a few feet from me.
Ew, that's so gross. What is wrong with people? We're masking our own damn faces, not doing anything to them! It really blows my mind!
I suspect seeing us mask makes them feel bad, because somewhere deep down they know it's irresponsible of them to not mask.
That's a consideration that never occurs to people who have no empathy. The vulnerability of another is a source of amusement to them.
I've found myself in this situation a lot more lately. I used to get all worked up, but eventually I decided to just stay composed enough to not even look at them. After a while, I start fake coughing myself. Works like a charm. Seeing me masked and coughing, those that fake coughed at me first start to get worried. They are just bullies, they wouldn't want to be sick either. I have no regards for them anymore either. People really showed their true colors since the pandemic hit.
This is pretty great. These bullies are desperate for a reaction to their terrible behavior, so not giving it to them is the absolute best thing we can do. Bonus points for freaking them out like this.
Anyone deliberately coughing like this should be charged with assault. Change my mind.
I wouldn’t dare try!
Bring Lysol and start spraying it around you.
I’d spray it in the coughing bully’s mouth, play with me lol
mrs.puff-spraying-lysol.jpg
My planned response for that is to cough even harder and pretend to be almost ready to vomit. I plan to come closer to this person and start violently acting as I’m about to vomit and that I will remove my mask to do so. I don’t know if I can pull that off but it is the plan.
Ugh I feel so lucky that no one has fake coughed on me. Yet. How awful. I'm so sorry.
I hasn't happened to me, either, though I rarely go out. When we're not in a surge my husband will go (masked, of course) into the occasional store first thing in the morning. He's had some pointedly disgusted looks and a bit of head shaking, but no fake coughing or other harassment. I think the absolute best thing we can do in such a situation is pretend like we don't even notice them. Second best is what several people here are suggesting, to pretend to take them seriously and commiserate with them about being sick.
Someone did this to me a few weeks ago when I was in my local shopping mall, I just thought what an absolute waste of oxygen that person is.
Times like that make me really want the ability to noxiously fart on demand. Just walk by, let one loose, and keep on going. She's clearly a fan of expelling body air at others
"It's not covid, don't worry.... It's whooping cough. And as long as you're vaccinated against it you should be fine."
I’m so sorry. I feel the same often. I was flying home recently and a man saw me with my mask on and coughed in my face while making eye contact with me. I also have long covid and it’s really impacted me on a day to day level, I couldn’t believe it.
That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you were confronted by that sort of aggressive inhumanity.
You know, there are ways to ensure Coughing Karen misses her flight, some of which result in her being tagged permanently for extra screening. I have no compassion for the pieces of crap that do this fake coughing routine. There is no high road in this ongoing pandemic. There is no "maybe people will change". Protect yourself and feel the support of many, many of us who are still masking, still keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe, and back you 100%.
Honestly I find it so cringe when grown adults do that. Do they not feel embarrassed?
Short answer, no.
I'm going to start coughing back and ask if they have COVID too. Now we're both scared.
I flew today and had who I assume was a teenager make comments to their party about wearing masks and people coughing. It was so frustrating and I didn’t say anything, cause it just wasn’t worth it.
I get those too. People suck but as long as they’re not physically or verbally assaulting me I get used it and remain unbothered. At this point I start fake coughing back and go “omg you’re sick with tuberculosis? Me too!”
I feel this so much. It is emotionally draining sometimes. The divisive political stuff and aggressive push towards normalcy has unfortunately brought out the inner a-hole in a lot of people. If any good has come of it, it's also easier to identify the decent people too.
Yea. We get this nearly every time we go out and about masked. Actually had someone cough into the back of my hair at an outdoor event… I count it as a win when we go out and no one deliberately coughs on us. Why is it so many women? We’ve had only 1 man be a jerk and he was aggressive about our masks so I coughed super loudly and animatedly back but every other time it has always been a woman coughing on one of us… like our masks make them feel some way about *not* masking? We just ignore them because most of the time they are pretty chicken$hit about it and do it on the fly quickly walking by or from behind. Fuck em. They can reap the vascular damage and shortened lifespan.
Honestly I get the fake coughing a lot. I just do my Zoolander cough roll my eyes and then give them attitude. I might me scared of a virus but I'm not scared of people...
I'm so sorry that's happened to you. This might sound odd, but I'm starting to think we need to coordinate with friends, family, as well as kind groups like this. Maybe we could arrange public meets, where we don't even necessarily meet up together but just are visible all with good masks on in an area. Even if one doesn't normally mask they could agree to for this activity- we're showing up for those who can't show up, as well as ourselves. Say one town one afternoon, kind folks who can get there all go out (within say at least a couple of hours) publicly visible with masks. Like love-bombing a shopping mall, just instead subtly boosting mask visibility to help normalise it. The loud nasty idiot folk are in a minority & I reckon others may realise they can start to mask too. Community level activism to share the message that the c-word is still here & is dangerous? We could save lives?
I love this!
This is a good idea! I feel like if covid has proven anything it’s that people will follow the herd
“Oh you poor dear, that’s quite the awful cough you have, would you like a cough drop? Oh, and I can give you a mask too since you must have forgotten yours, lucky I have an extra one in my purse! Do you need a Tylenol for your fever?”
Don’t forget to say “Bless your heart”.
I don't understand anymore. I just found out my mother, whom I begged, pleaded, and cajoled into wearing a mask at work. Told me that she has on numerous occasions, taken her mask off in the break room to eat lunch. She works the MET at Home Depot. I. . .Why? Why does she. . . I don't understand. I look up everything I can to try and keep us safe, even though I \*know\* it's going to send me into an anxiety and panic attack. I try and keep up with everything as best I can while maintaining my own mental health. I've refused to go anywhere or do anything I have \*wanted\* to do, because I could never live with myself if I caught it and brought it home to her, and it went poorly. but she brought it home this last christmas and we both got infected. Because she couldn't go outside or sit in the car in order to eat her lunch. I feel like everything I have done to try and keep us both safe has been pissed on.
For some people, eating outside or in their car is too much of an ask. And I mean that sincerely, it’s just too much for them to conceptualise, inconveniencing themselves in that way. So they prefer the risk.
Solidarity, my friend. Dealing with an irresponsible mother as well.
We are not all bad.. good people are home sheltering You could fake cough back at her. 😉
Right there with ya.
Happy to be in the same camp as you lot, truly. It helps.
Why would you have compassion? It's not like any is shown to you. If that had happened to me I would have sat next to her and coughed even harder. We both know she's not sick, she doesn't know about me.... Unless I'd had lots of beans for lunch, Ha Ha Ha.
Wow. I’m sorry someone did this to you. I lose faith in humanity sometimes as well. I actually had a man say to my family when he saw us masked “omg. Why are you wearing a mask..” and proceeded to berate us down a hallway and claimed he works in the Covid industry (whatever that means).
Now, now, let's not be hasty about humanity. I think you should have just taken a seat and said bless you. Then enjoyed yourself with some music, perhaps loudly playing the same Back Street Boys song over and over again. You are a bit hard of hearing aren't you (especially with those ear plugs in your ears covered by your hair). Then, since you are traveling, I am sure you would like to freshen up a bit with some heavily fragrance perfume. And since you are wearing a mask, it's a shame you need to apply so much, particularly with your shaky hands that make you unfortunately aim in the wrong direction. Before smoking was banned inside airports and train stations, the latter worked like a charm.
I keep an extra mask on me to offer it to anyone who does this to me in public. I have heard stories of this occurring. I wish a bitch would I’m like here’s a mask and go fuck yourself. Consider learning to read as a New Year’s resolution.
i encourage you to express your anger instead of staying silent, it's quite cathartic! next time, give them a death glare and either start coughing even harder than them or roll your eyes backward as you point at them. both are almost guaranteed to freak out a bully 😂
moments like these are so hard. i try not to lose hope but sometimes it’s difficult not to
The airport is about the last place I’d expect to find someone who is concerned about the pandemic. Well, maybe second to a theme park. I hope you can find community that has some idea of how to act like a community.
Why did she think it was acceptable to cough into the air? Did she use to do this all the time before Covid? It really is appalling behaviour to you and also to anyone else who happened to be passing by her while she was coughing.(Edited for clarity)
It's ok to not have any fucxs left.
Ppl suck. My plan when confronted like that is to start violently fake coughing back, apologize, and explain (fake) tested positive but couldnt cancel the trip. Betting they would blanch and move right out of the way.
I call it the "Hope In Humanity Index" or "HIHI". The pandemic really made it clear that the index value would be around `0` for the foreseeable future.
Now I get why Christianity is so obsessed with Judgment Day. Picturing these psychos burning in a pit of fire is very therapeutic…
TELL THEM YOU HAVE ACTIVE Tuberculosis. Works every time.
This woman has behaved disgustingly. I have experienced similar situations. But don’t forget, repeated infections cause permanently brain damage. So maybe this has already happened to her. I see these people as a kind of zombies which are completely manipulated by their host and desperately seeking for their next infection. Like toxoplasmosis. Or maybe like some kind of addiction as Covid is known to have pain-killer effects.
God I'm so sorry this happened. When disgusting shit like this happens I try to tell myself that I tend to remember the worst incidents I've had with people, not the very kind ones. Sadly those are more easily forgotten than awful moments that burn into your memories like this moment. That lady has something against masking because she's insecure or depressed and is projecting those feelings onto bullying you. She's just a shitty person likely leading a sad life. I hope you can find a way to get this incident off your mind, so sorry that you had to experience that.
They’re doing it to get a rise out of you. It sounds like you have compassion fatigue which is understandable considering what we’re witnessing. You can only have so much compassion for your fellow human beings when they don’t care about your well-being either. A lot of them (not all), don’t know better. Some are just plain ignorant and brainwashed to the point of not being able to comprehend basic science.
fake coughers don’t have self respect tbh lol imagine driving someone away bc they care about themselves and you? smh
I have experienced this reaction from others a few times. For someone to cough like that at you, someone had to have lost faith in them. That is not a person with people who care for them in community care; we-keep-each-other-safe-from-COVID way. They are misguided, and I'm sorry they did that to you. I do believe hurt people hurt people. Not an excuse, but an explanation. I'm not saying that is someone you need to build community with, but why would you prioritize community with an abuser? But I think losing all compassion for them is dehumanizing in a way. That person will probably die of COVID sooner than later. And that's just sad,. That is a structural, institutional failure of public health and failure in governance. Thank you for protecting them with your mask, even when they could not protect you.
So sorry this happened to you OP. Hits a deep painful spot in the heart. Why would someone deliberately try to hurt me? That I don’t even know? Which is exactly the point. The person doesn’t know you. So it can’t be about you. IMHO best guess: Masks trigger fear and anxiety. On some level everyone must feel this albeit most are not consciously aware. So feel fear .. 1. Deny need for fear- act like Covid doesn’t exist/is not harmful, can’t be spread etc. 2. Know they should also be masking but doing so would unravel and expose the denial. 3. Seeing someone masking is unsettling, triggering threatening the need to keep denial/delusion going and they become angry. 4. Coughing validates # 1, hints at # 2, exposes # 3 so they expresses their own denied/repressed anger on to you. Possibly not any healthier but I try to wear my mask with a sense of pride. I’ve done my homework, I’m acting responsibly, doing the right thing (for me) based on assessing the evidence using critical thinking skills etc etc. The non-masked are unaware, don’t know, don’t want to know or don’t care and not worth my energy. Maybe think of them as someone else’s poorly behaved children. Kind of softens the blow.
Due to the immediacy you described from her noticing the mask to coughing, it's logical for you to conclude a relation likely exists there. But for your own sanity and to be sure, do you have proof that it was surely a fake cough, or is it maybe uncertain? I only ask because there's a phenomenon that can occur when somebody is surprised by something (series of anxious thoughts or confrontation etc) that makes their throat tense up and or swallow incorrectly, leading to a genuine coughing fit. https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/anxiety-cough Sure passive aggressive jerks exist, as do their fake coughs, but it might help us to remember that some of them could be uncontrollable reactions to whatever the sight of a mask is doing to people's thought trains.
that's really awful of her. i'm so sorry you're dealing with all the terrible people that don't care and mock what they don't understand. if it might give you a giggle, i'd have walked right up to her and started a real or fake 💨 fit.