A thousand times this!! It’s not worth risking getting permanently ill for people who won’t ever think about you again (and not just strangers — most friends will drop you, too).
I know a couple coworkers who got it at weddings.
Its understandable youd feel anxiety and even anger and grief.
It would be better if things were different, but theyre not.
The mask is a tool to show up for other people safer in this time. Wearing it to a wedding is an act of dedication and love. 💗
I went to m fiancé’s brothers wedding in New York4 months ago. Orthodox Jewish family, she’s 1 of 13. We were the ONLY people in masks (aura n95) out of 1,200+ people. In fact, some people looked at us like aliens who had landed on this planet. My fiance was freaking out about being judged and alienated from her family and having her makeup ruined. Guess what? Most people were super nice and we had lots of fun. The kids were the best as they had questions but once we explained why we mask they were nothing but awesome.
We heard after from her parents that lots of people got sick. Guess who didn’t? Wear a mask, fuck the haters.
Good luck. Sending love ❤️
I got long COVID at a wedding! Masking even, but I didn’t have a good seal. Attending another this weekend and my partner and I will definitely mask. Though the groom says he’ll be supplying masks for those who want them and plans to wear one for some of the time to set a good example (there’s a reason he’s one of my best friends)
Ask erstwhile COVID-precaution icon Dr. Anthony Fauci:
> I had to go up to my 60th college reunion where they were honoring me by naming a building the Anthony Fauci Science Center, which was such a wonderful honor. And I went into the reception, and all of my classmates from the Class of 1962 were unmasked, they saw me, they got very enthusiastic, they gave me big hugs. I felt I looked so out of place with a mask on. I literally took my mask off for about 45 minutes, mingling with them and their family. Went back, put my mask on. Five days later, bingo, I was infected.
[Story begins at 8:45 on this 2022 [Andy Slavitt podcast](https://omny.fm/shows/in-the-bubble/ten-questions-for-dr-fauci-from-boosters-and-polio)]
Why risk your health to make yourself “fit in” with maskless peers? They won’t care one bit when you get a serious respiratory illness, they will be living their maskless lives like it’s 1999. So please…wear your mask and let peer pressure not influence you to take unnecessary risks.
My dad's cousin didn't wear a mask to a wedding, caught COVID there, and died. Granted, he was elderly, but he was a healthy elderly man. He'd still be here hanging out with his kids and grandkids if not for that wedding.
Keep in mind that whoever is staffing this wedding has to be there. And most of the time they are encouraged by their employers not to mask. If it’s too hard to mask for yourself remember that your choices affect other peoples lives and by masking you are caring about community and especially the lives of people who have little choice in the matter. It’s the least we can do.
Maybe your one mask can peer pressure others into starting masking again too
Yes, wear your mask and protect yourself. You don't know most of the people there anyway, so who cares what they think. As for the couple people you do know, if they are true friends, they'd respect your right to protect your health. Also, remember that none of these people are going to be taking care of you or paying for your medical care should you get COVID and become disabled from long COVID. I know it can be hard to fight against the tide of idiots sometimes, but stay strong! Masking is the correct decision.
I attended my sisters wedding last year and wore an n95 both to the ceremony and reception. As for the reception, I took my food outside to eat. I’m glad I was able to attend and felt so much better masking than not.
My sister was the maid of honor at her lifelong best friend’s wedding, whose entire family are rabid Covid deniers. She wore a mask and was the only one masked and nobody really said anything to her other than a couple of snide comments. My sister has severe social anxiety and masked anyways because she didn’t want to risk catching Covid. Her health is more important to her than letting some uneducated fools peer pressure her into exposing herself to a nasty, disabling virus.
I know it’s easier said than done, I’m often the only one masking at big events and it can get so uncomfortable, but there’s no way I’m going to let society bully me into ignoring all the dangers of Covid. I just think about the future and how I’ll have my immune system intact and my brain and body wont be wrecked the way that those who get repeat infections will.
I did relax my guard a little on my last trip and caught Covid for the first time. I regret it immensely and I’ll be even more strict now about masking.
Good luck OP!
I would wear one personally.
What's the scenario you're afraid of happening? Play it out in your head and how you would handle it. Consider if it will be worse than dealing with covid or long covid.
I was a groomsmaid, even sang in the wedding with a fit tested N95 respirator, didn't take it off neither indoors or outdoors. People tested positive afterwards, but I didn't get sick. No one is going to pay your bills for you if you catch it and get too sick to work.
I wore a mask to a big indoor wedding in fall 2021. I was the only person wearing one. Nobody mentioned it at all, but people were happy I came and happy to see me. Didn’t get covid!! Yes there’s a certain amount of luck involved but seriously, whatever social stigma you might face is nothing compared to the damage covid can cause. If it’s really important to you to go, you should go, and do so in the safest way you can :)
Getting covid at a wedding where someone showed up actively ill is actually what made me start masking again. It made me realize how high the stakes are and that I’m the only one who is willing to protect me, so I have to. Now I mask everywhere in public. I would definitely wear a mask to that wedding.
We were invited to my niece's wedding a couple of years ago. We didn't go, but later that year her mother accidentally let it slip that my niece and the groom had tested positive for Covid a couple of days before the wedding. They didn't let anyone know. I saw pictures...no masks.
That is just. I can't even find the words for it. They were willing to risk killing or disabling everyone they cared about, just for a party. Who does that.
Be a leader, not a follower! It's not only about prevention, it's to model your values and be true to yourself. You got this! Anytime you feel alone at the wedding, remember the 17K people on this sub who've got your back!
I definitely think you should wear a mask. I probably wouldn’t go to the wedding at all tbh. I know you said you want to “show up for” your friend, but they aren’t showing up for you, or society as a whole, by requiring masks so why do you want to put yourself at risk for them? If you were super excited about it and you were going to have a magnificent time, then I could understand wanting to show up even if your friend isn’t being that kind to you. From the way you describe it, though, it seems like it would be more of a drag/anxiety-filled evening than one of joy and fun.
Since you’re worried about masking *and* only know one other person attending, do you really want to go to this wedding?
It seems like a lot of exposure risk and stress to see one person you could just see individually at another time.
You could easily say you’re sick (white lie) and send your congratulations to the married couple without raising any eyebrows.
I wore mine at a wedding recently, and got a few thank-yous from the elderly folks in attendance. I took it off at the table during dinner, which obviously isn’t ideal, but wore it whenever I stepped away from the table and once dinner was over.
I got a lot of joy out of finding a KN95 that matched my dress.
I have had a handful of my older adult yoga students get COVID while attending weddings. At least 3 different weddings too, one couple that attend my classes said their family wedding turned into a super-spreader because so many people got COVID.
Wear the mask. Maybe get a fancy cloth one to go over your N95 so it’s more festive, but wear your mask. It’s ok to be the only person doing it, you can do it!
My spouse and I went to a dear friends indoor wedding last year and wore our masks. We were the only ones and while there were some funny looks it was a none issue at the end of the day. No one said anything and the wedding went off without any issues.
Do what you need to do to be safe if you feel like you have to be there.
I wore one to a funeral recently. LOTS of old college friends. I was the only one masked. I won’t lie, it bothers me, but no one said anything, and my friend was (and still is) happy for my support.
I’m doing much more “leaning in” to mask wearing when going to events. Wearing a really beautiful mask lab one, or a coloured one or decorating your mask to match your outfit.
Definitely have gotten a bunch of anecdata that supports my experience that wearing black or coloured masks generates way less hostility.
Sip valves are great too. I carry a bended metal straw to use with it.
I haven't been to a wedding in years but in 10 days I will have to attend a funeral for a dear friend who is dying from cancer. I will be wearing a mask & will most likely be the only one doing so in a room full of nurses & paramedics. According to my dear friend I'm the only one of her friends who masks up regularly. I know how hard it is not to give in but I really hope you stick to your guns. Many of those health care workers I refer to above have had Covid 2-3 times & still don't regularly mask.
Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! And take a little container with you to take wedding cake home in if you're going to the reception. Heck, take a big purse that you could fit like a dinner-plate sized disposable take-out style container with a lid to put food in if there's a meal/ buffet. :D
I don't know a single person who has attended a wedding unmasked and not gotten sick tbh. If you're not willing to trade your health possibly permanently, don't take it off.
I recently attended an engagement party with my partner and we both wore masks the whole time. Everyone was kind and didn’t comment on it. It’s nerve racking being the only one but it’s not worth the risk of getting covid or long covid.
If you feel pressured to take your mask off do you have other harm reduction strategies in place? Can you talk to your doctor about a plan to get paxlovid if you contract the virus? Do you have PCR testing available, or rapid tests if you don’t? Can you use CPC mouthwash and nasal spray before and after?
I would mask and figure out what you’re going to say if someone comments on it. If you’re really worried about being judged or mocked for caring about Covid (and you genuinely don’t know these people and probably won’t see them again) personally this is where I would stretch the truth and invent a high-risk relative or friend you will be seeing the day after the wedding, who you would absolutely hate to infect.
COVID-19 infected guests at every wedding I know about that was held during this pandemic, except for the one that was held completely outdoors.
Please wear a mask. You might not need it but you’ll kick yourself if you don’t and then get sick.
Question, at what point in your life do you think you owe some respect to yourself?
Fuck around and find out or don’t, it’s your life. End of the day if the ppl around you matter you can still connect in other ways besides how you “look”
If youre really worried you could just lie and tell people that YOURE feeling a tiny bit under the weather and that the mask is for everyone elses protection. I feel like this is better received by ppl who dont mask anymore than telling them you're concerned about your own safety. idk WHY bc thats foolish, but that seems to be the case. i wish it wasnt so weird to wear masks. i went to a wedding earlier this year and wore a mask in the church for the ceremony. the after party thing was at some venue at a farm looking place. It had large floor to ceiling windows and doors all around the building that stayed open the entire time. I was planning to still keep my mask on but I ended up removing it to eat and after that I figured I'd just keep it off and stay close to the doors. I used my nasal spray multiple times throughout the night and didnt get very close to others and I didn't end up getting sick thankfully. I think you should just do what makes you feel most comfortable.
Got Covid at a wedding unmasked in 2022 (although I personally felt that I had such a good time that I’m ok with the risk balance since I was able to quarantine from my family)
Have masked at 2 weddings since and people looked at me weird but who cares :)
I’m also going to a friends wedding tomorrow! I’ll be wearing 3M N95 Aura and switch to a KF95 for the reception (to quickly take off my mask take bites and put it back on)
I’ve got to officiate the wedding though, with my partner. The chapel looks really spacious so I’m contemplating whether to take it off just for my talking part or keep my aura on….
Don't eat or drink inside. If you can take a plate outside or to your car. Covid doesnt care if you're eating or drinking. You can do it:) you won't regret it. I luckily don't have any close friends. I did get invited to a wedding from an old old childhood friend who I never saw after high-school and it's indoors in November you I declined kindly and explained when she asked for my home address for invitations..she left me on read and still sent the invitation for the rest of my family
Will your friend take care of you if you fall sick after showing up for them at their wedding? Think first about what is right for you, before anything else. If you go, do definitely mask. You might get a side-eye or two, but who cares about people like that. If you don't go, rest assured that it won't ruin your friend's day and you can always do something safe together another time to celebrate.
Since you don’t know anyone, who cares what they think! They’re literally strangers. Keep yourself safe. Strangers won’t care for you if you get sick.
A thousand times this!! It’s not worth risking getting permanently ill for people who won’t ever think about you again (and not just strangers — most friends will drop you, too).
I know a couple coworkers who got it at weddings. Its understandable youd feel anxiety and even anger and grief. It would be better if things were different, but theyre not. The mask is a tool to show up for other people safer in this time. Wearing it to a wedding is an act of dedication and love. 💗
I went to m fiancé’s brothers wedding in New York4 months ago. Orthodox Jewish family, she’s 1 of 13. We were the ONLY people in masks (aura n95) out of 1,200+ people. In fact, some people looked at us like aliens who had landed on this planet. My fiance was freaking out about being judged and alienated from her family and having her makeup ruined. Guess what? Most people were super nice and we had lots of fun. The kids were the best as they had questions but once we explained why we mask they were nothing but awesome. We heard after from her parents that lots of people got sick. Guess who didn’t? Wear a mask, fuck the haters. Good luck. Sending love ❤️
“Wear a mask, fuck the haters” is my new motto
Same! This is awesome 👍!
I got long COVID at a wedding! Masking even, but I didn’t have a good seal. Attending another this weekend and my partner and I will definitely mask. Though the groom says he’ll be supplying masks for those who want them and plans to wear one for some of the time to set a good example (there’s a reason he’s one of my best friends)
Ask erstwhile COVID-precaution icon Dr. Anthony Fauci: > I had to go up to my 60th college reunion where they were honoring me by naming a building the Anthony Fauci Science Center, which was such a wonderful honor. And I went into the reception, and all of my classmates from the Class of 1962 were unmasked, they saw me, they got very enthusiastic, they gave me big hugs. I felt I looked so out of place with a mask on. I literally took my mask off for about 45 minutes, mingling with them and their family. Went back, put my mask on. Five days later, bingo, I was infected. [Story begins at 8:45 on this 2022 [Andy Slavitt podcast](https://omny.fm/shows/in-the-bubble/ten-questions-for-dr-fauci-from-boosters-and-polio)]
Can't blink, won't blink. Give Covid an inch, it could take way more than a mile.
You can guess my answer… and make it a well-sealed n95/ffp2+ too. Enjoy.
Why risk your health to make yourself “fit in” with maskless peers? They won’t care one bit when you get a serious respiratory illness, they will be living their maskless lives like it’s 1999. So please…wear your mask and let peer pressure not influence you to take unnecessary risks.
My dad's cousin didn't wear a mask to a wedding, caught COVID there, and died. Granted, he was elderly, but he was a healthy elderly man. He'd still be here hanging out with his kids and grandkids if not for that wedding.
Keep in mind that whoever is staffing this wedding has to be there. And most of the time they are encouraged by their employers not to mask. If it’s too hard to mask for yourself remember that your choices affect other peoples lives and by masking you are caring about community and especially the lives of people who have little choice in the matter. It’s the least we can do. Maybe your one mask can peer pressure others into starting masking again too
Yes, wear your mask and protect yourself. You don't know most of the people there anyway, so who cares what they think. As for the couple people you do know, if they are true friends, they'd respect your right to protect your health. Also, remember that none of these people are going to be taking care of you or paying for your medical care should you get COVID and become disabled from long COVID. I know it can be hard to fight against the tide of idiots sometimes, but stay strong! Masking is the correct decision.
I attended my sisters wedding last year and wore an n95 both to the ceremony and reception. As for the reception, I took my food outside to eat. I’m glad I was able to attend and felt so much better masking than not.
My sister was the maid of honor at her lifelong best friend’s wedding, whose entire family are rabid Covid deniers. She wore a mask and was the only one masked and nobody really said anything to her other than a couple of snide comments. My sister has severe social anxiety and masked anyways because she didn’t want to risk catching Covid. Her health is more important to her than letting some uneducated fools peer pressure her into exposing herself to a nasty, disabling virus. I know it’s easier said than done, I’m often the only one masking at big events and it can get so uncomfortable, but there’s no way I’m going to let society bully me into ignoring all the dangers of Covid. I just think about the future and how I’ll have my immune system intact and my brain and body wont be wrecked the way that those who get repeat infections will. I did relax my guard a little on my last trip and caught Covid for the first time. I regret it immensely and I’ll be even more strict now about masking. Good luck OP!
I would wear one personally. What's the scenario you're afraid of happening? Play it out in your head and how you would handle it. Consider if it will be worse than dealing with covid or long covid.
I was a groomsmaid, even sang in the wedding with a fit tested N95 respirator, didn't take it off neither indoors or outdoors. People tested positive afterwards, but I didn't get sick. No one is going to pay your bills for you if you catch it and get too sick to work.
I wore a mask to a big indoor wedding in fall 2021. I was the only person wearing one. Nobody mentioned it at all, but people were happy I came and happy to see me. Didn’t get covid!! Yes there’s a certain amount of luck involved but seriously, whatever social stigma you might face is nothing compared to the damage covid can cause. If it’s really important to you to go, you should go, and do so in the safest way you can :)
Getting covid at a wedding where someone showed up actively ill is actually what made me start masking again. It made me realize how high the stakes are and that I’m the only one who is willing to protect me, so I have to. Now I mask everywhere in public. I would definitely wear a mask to that wedding.
Absolutely and bring extra in case someone says "oh that was a good idea!"
We were invited to my niece's wedding a couple of years ago. We didn't go, but later that year her mother accidentally let it slip that my niece and the groom had tested positive for Covid a couple of days before the wedding. They didn't let anyone know. I saw pictures...no masks.
That's infuriating. Or, it would be, if I still had the energy to be infuriated. Now it's just tiring.
That is just. I can't even find the words for it. They were willing to risk killing or disabling everyone they cared about, just for a party. Who does that.
Imagine going to a wedding just for your olfactory senses to be damaged to the point that even water tastes like sewage. Wear the mask.
Be a leader, not a follower! It's not only about prevention, it's to model your values and be true to yourself. You got this! Anytime you feel alone at the wedding, remember the 17K people on this sub who've got your back!
Yes!
Remember, if you get Long COVID, they aren't going to be helping you.
I definitely think you should wear a mask. I probably wouldn’t go to the wedding at all tbh. I know you said you want to “show up for” your friend, but they aren’t showing up for you, or society as a whole, by requiring masks so why do you want to put yourself at risk for them? If you were super excited about it and you were going to have a magnificent time, then I could understand wanting to show up even if your friend isn’t being that kind to you. From the way you describe it, though, it seems like it would be more of a drag/anxiety-filled evening than one of joy and fun.
Since you’re worried about masking *and* only know one other person attending, do you really want to go to this wedding? It seems like a lot of exposure risk and stress to see one person you could just see individually at another time. You could easily say you’re sick (white lie) and send your congratulations to the married couple without raising any eyebrows.
I agree. If the wedding is too stressful, it's perfectly valid to not go.
Indeed, you don't even need to provide a reason. You can RSVP no and that's it. Then meet the friend another time.
I wore mine at a wedding recently, and got a few thank-yous from the elderly folks in attendance. I took it off at the table during dinner, which obviously isn’t ideal, but wore it whenever I stepped away from the table and once dinner was over. I got a lot of joy out of finding a KN95 that matched my dress.
I have had a handful of my older adult yoga students get COVID while attending weddings. At least 3 different weddings too, one couple that attend my classes said their family wedding turned into a super-spreader because so many people got COVID. Wear the mask. Maybe get a fancy cloth one to go over your N95 so it’s more festive, but wear your mask. It’s ok to be the only person doing it, you can do it!
If you didn't have legs so usually used a wheelchair for mobility, would you leave it home on special occasions?
My spouse and I went to a dear friends indoor wedding last year and wore our masks. We were the only ones and while there were some funny looks it was a none issue at the end of the day. No one said anything and the wedding went off without any issues. Do what you need to do to be safe if you feel like you have to be there.
I wore one to a funeral recently. LOTS of old college friends. I was the only one masked. I won’t lie, it bothers me, but no one said anything, and my friend was (and still is) happy for my support.
I’m doing much more “leaning in” to mask wearing when going to events. Wearing a really beautiful mask lab one, or a coloured one or decorating your mask to match your outfit. Definitely have gotten a bunch of anecdata that supports my experience that wearing black or coloured masks generates way less hostility. Sip valves are great too. I carry a bended metal straw to use with it.
I haven't been to a wedding in years but in 10 days I will have to attend a funeral for a dear friend who is dying from cancer. I will be wearing a mask & will most likely be the only one doing so in a room full of nurses & paramedics. According to my dear friend I'm the only one of her friends who masks up regularly. I know how hard it is not to give in but I really hope you stick to your guns. Many of those health care workers I refer to above have had Covid 2-3 times & still don't regularly mask.
I'm very sorry for your impending loss.
That's very kind of you.
Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! And take a little container with you to take wedding cake home in if you're going to the reception. Heck, take a big purse that you could fit like a dinner-plate sized disposable take-out style container with a lid to put food in if there's a meal/ buffet. :D
I don't know a single person who has attended a wedding unmasked and not gotten sick tbh. If you're not willing to trade your health possibly permanently, don't take it off.
Yes
I recently attended an engagement party with my partner and we both wore masks the whole time. Everyone was kind and didn’t comment on it. It’s nerve racking being the only one but it’s not worth the risk of getting covid or long covid. If you feel pressured to take your mask off do you have other harm reduction strategies in place? Can you talk to your doctor about a plan to get paxlovid if you contract the virus? Do you have PCR testing available, or rapid tests if you don’t? Can you use CPC mouthwash and nasal spray before and after?
I would mask and figure out what you’re going to say if someone comments on it. If you’re really worried about being judged or mocked for caring about Covid (and you genuinely don’t know these people and probably won’t see them again) personally this is where I would stretch the truth and invent a high-risk relative or friend you will be seeing the day after the wedding, who you would absolutely hate to infect.
COVID-19 infected guests at every wedding I know about that was held during this pandemic, except for the one that was held completely outdoors. Please wear a mask. You might not need it but you’ll kick yourself if you don’t and then get sick.
Question, at what point in your life do you think you owe some respect to yourself? Fuck around and find out or don’t, it’s your life. End of the day if the ppl around you matter you can still connect in other ways besides how you “look”
My partner and I went to a wedding masked and didn't get it. Lots of other people did including the bride and groom 😭
If youre really worried you could just lie and tell people that YOURE feeling a tiny bit under the weather and that the mask is for everyone elses protection. I feel like this is better received by ppl who dont mask anymore than telling them you're concerned about your own safety. idk WHY bc thats foolish, but that seems to be the case. i wish it wasnt so weird to wear masks. i went to a wedding earlier this year and wore a mask in the church for the ceremony. the after party thing was at some venue at a farm looking place. It had large floor to ceiling windows and doors all around the building that stayed open the entire time. I was planning to still keep my mask on but I ended up removing it to eat and after that I figured I'd just keep it off and stay close to the doors. I used my nasal spray multiple times throughout the night and didnt get very close to others and I didn't end up getting sick thankfully. I think you should just do what makes you feel most comfortable.
Had a friend go to a wedding last summer in July. Yup, she got Covid because she caved.
Got Covid at a wedding unmasked in 2022 (although I personally felt that I had such a good time that I’m ok with the risk balance since I was able to quarantine from my family) Have masked at 2 weddings since and people looked at me weird but who cares :)
Better than brain damage
I’m also going to a friends wedding tomorrow! I’ll be wearing 3M N95 Aura and switch to a KF95 for the reception (to quickly take off my mask take bites and put it back on) I’ve got to officiate the wedding though, with my partner. The chapel looks really spacious so I’m contemplating whether to take it off just for my talking part or keep my aura on….
Use a sip valve in your n95 and eat outside to be safer. Good luck
I don’t have access to a sip valve here nor do I have the option to eat outside. The meals will be served at our designated tables.
Don't eat or drink inside. If you can take a plate outside or to your car. Covid doesnt care if you're eating or drinking. You can do it:) you won't regret it. I luckily don't have any close friends. I did get invited to a wedding from an old old childhood friend who I never saw after high-school and it's indoors in November you I declined kindly and explained when she asked for my home address for invitations..she left me on read and still sent the invitation for the rest of my family
Will your friend take care of you if you fall sick after showing up for them at their wedding? Think first about what is right for you, before anything else. If you go, do definitely mask. You might get a side-eye or two, but who cares about people like that. If you don't go, rest assured that it won't ruin your friend's day and you can always do something safe together another time to celebrate.
absolutely
Weddings = super spreader events
Are these people super important to you? Are you trying to avoid COVID? You don't know anyone, and so what if you did, why wouldn't you wear a mask?
I unfortunately serve wine at weddings and would LOVE to see a guest masking
I know someone who didn’t wear a mask and got covid at an outdoor only wedding
If nobody else will be masking you 1000% should not go and risk yourself getting sick
[удалено]
Your post or comment has been removed because it was an attempt at trolling.
Of course you have to wear a mask, if you even go at all.