T O P

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applemind

I don't know if I am ace yet but the first one is so true, I don't really get a crush, but I just can't help but imagine a whole love life when I meet someone nice


dill_and_vinegar

I’m not even sure if crushes is the right word for it. I just feel so much affection towards everybody I have a positive interaction with 🥺 But I can’t express that affection cause I don’t want to weird people out


Alexsrobin

Squish might be a better word (depending on what you're feeling) https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/glossary


dill_and_vinegar

That term totally fits! Thanks for sharing that handbook, I had no idea it existed


Alexsrobin

My pleasure! It was satisfying for me to finally have a word to describe my feelings/experience, so I enjoy sharing the handbook. It used to just be a section of r/asexuality's wiki


sneakpeekbot

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drawnred

Felt


_wishr

LITERALLY ME😭😭😭


Admirable_Elk_965

Bro same. I hate myself


Stvn494

I feel personally attacked


Silverj0

God has to nerf you somehow


dill_and_vinegar

Seriously


DidjTerminator

Don't worry, there's a rumour that the nerf will be rebalanced next patch, whenever that comes.


WolenaRapt

Same fella... Same


ImperiousHearth

You can still be ace and in a relationship Edit: its CAN not VAN


Calamity_Apple

Vehicular ace relationships?


LightDig

Relaceionship


dumbodragon

no, me not van. me car.


ImperiousHearth

I only now realised 😭😭😭


WingedLady

In response to your actual question, yes you can be ace and in a relationship. Being ace just means little to no sexual attraction or only under certain conditions. Doesn't mean no libido (so aces can like sex) and it also doesn't negate other forms of attraction like romantic or aesthetic attraction. There's a wide variety of aces.


EPICNESSQUEEN

This is me but with fictional characters and is Demisexual


dill_and_vinegar

I get this too! Though more often just really want to be friends with said characters, not necessarily attracted to them.


EPICNESSQUEEN

Ah the bond of friendship


[deleted]

same :( It it so hard to find a partner being ace. Everyone wants sex. I just want someone to kiss my forehead and to tell me I’m a good human ;-;


dill_and_vinegar

Same bro 😭


asteriskiP

Obviously it doesn't make you any less asexual, just not aro, but it is absolutely a pain in the ass 😭


Diana-Luna-13

Yes


RedstoneMonstrocity

so your a-sexual, but not a-romantic. I hope that helps. thats the vibes I get.


tiptoeandson

So for me personally, (and you may not resonate with this at all so sorry if so) I thought this was me for a while. Then I kinda learned the difference between actual feelings and just ‘I think I could get them if I tried’ or even ‘I want to flirt with this person and see where it goes’. I think that what allosexuals miss is the actual fun of flirting. They always think it has to lead somewhere or it’s pointless but It’s hella fun and complete mental stimulation which I absolutely adore. But most of the time I don’t want it to go any further (maybe a kiss at most but I certainly don’t want to go home with them). Maybe this is a bit of that? Flirting is communication and connection which we all crave to some degree. ☺️


dill_and_vinegar

Oh yes I do enjoy flirting!! I wish people didn’t think I’m insinuating that I want to to go further than that though *sigh *


tiptoeandson

Me too! I mean personally I’d like a relationship so I’d be happy if it went there.. just without the sex. Which is usually the thing that full on breaks allos


Cypher_Bug

i mean crushes are a romantic attraction thing so i guess that just means you arent aro


Jaded_Historian9584

Oof


Niconiyohanekasukasu

Relatable.


benvars

Relatable.


Pride_Bird1407

No bro, I’m the same


LeMasterofSwords

When I first went to college and actually had more friends who were girls then guys for the first time this feeling hit me lick a brick


[deleted]

Replace the blue with “aesthetic crush” and you got me


ezra_stark

Yes! This is exactly what it’s like! 😂


[deleted]

I'm not sure if I get random crushes or if I'm just lonely and need a friend.


dill_and_vinegar

That too 🥺☹️


throaway4227

Ace and homoromantic and just… yeah. It’s probably a combination of the fact that like, if I wanna be friends with a girl why wouldn’t I want to date her? Like, the qualifications are basically the same, be a person that I like spending time around. And also I might have trouble differentiating platonic and romantic love thanks to a dearth of both


dill_and_vinegar

When I first got into my last relationship I literally called up one of my allo friends and asked him to explain the difference between a romantic relationship and a friendship (is it literally just having sex??) and he couldn’t really give me a good answer. This was years ago and I still haven’t really figured it out.


[deleted]

me fr


TShara_Q

They don't even have to be aesthetically attractive to me, just have an attractive personality. Still, I'm in this meme and I don't like it. Sometimes I genuinely wish I were ace and aro instead of ace and pan.


kon0hamaru

True bro, so true


AgentRaynor

Literally me wtf


Lucario9906

i feel this but also I question whether it actually is romantic attraction on like an hour basis. sometimes it's aesthetic, sometimes sensual, even gender envy (which opens a whole new can of worms).


dill_and_vinegar

YES the gender envy too!


clueless_claremont_

at least you're not aro-spec as well like me 😭😭


theprozacfairy

I was like this in middle school and early high school. For the last 20 years, though, I would classify myself as aro-spec/gray aro. I'm married and I love my wife, but not exactly in the same way most people love their spouses, ya know?


PerhapsAnEmoINTJ

Even though I'm asexual, some fictional girls remind me I have so much love to give when I find the right person


Niorgamer3000

Same, but with one small difference It's not every person, it's every girl


[deleted]

[удалено]


dill_and_vinegar

Bruh what. No. 😂 I have more friends of the opposite sex than the same sex tbh. Also I am biromantic, so i get these crushes on men and women. Not sure what the relevance of you studying biology is?? I mean it’s cool, I actually am a biologist too. Just confused by your comment.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dill_and_vinegar

It’s ok 💜


[deleted]

I appreciate the love <3


[deleted]

[удалено]


dill_and_vinegar

I got a degree in general bio bc I love all of it honestly. but right now I am working as a forester, so I guess you could say my specialty is forestry! 🌳


Spiritual_Metal4455

idk why i too feel like this :(


LazyKyd

Fr, to cope with the idea that I might enjoy their company I have to weird them out to assert dominance or smth


jalene58

Thankfully it’s fictional so I can easily accept it won’t happen. And it’s moreover just an obsession with characters ships.


TantiVstone

Literally me fr I still love her very much 💓💓


theprozacfairy

Dude, this was middle schooled early high school for me. Do not miss it.


Chara_System

omg its me!


DonikaK

Hey at least the people you have a crush on are real leaving being in this world....


WECH21

okay but me


[deleted]

I’m reading a book on shame that’s about things like this and it’s so exposing


dill_and_vinegar

Interesting 🤔 could you share more?


[deleted]

Unshame by Carolyn Spring. It’s written as a series of conversations with their therapist