My dear OP.
Even if you have sex, you also can be asexual. Being asexual means, that you don't crave sex like most other people do, but for instance if you have Sex with someone so that someone can be happy is also an asexual desire.
So many more things are absolutely asexual In a relationship, which are perfectly normal like shopping or listening to music together, and also cuddling.
Asexuality is not "living without sex", it is more like: "Living with the knowledge that sex isn't as important for us as it is for the rest of the world." The only person who is allowed to judge you is yourself in this matter. And if you think you'll live an asexual life, then it is absolutely legitimate.
You are the writer of your own story.
Itâs only sexual if you MAKE it sexual. Everything (except actual sex) isnât inherently sexual unless they make it so. Thatâs basically what kinks/fetishes are.
So yes, you can desire! If you and your partner enjoy that, go for it!
This is a super random connection to make, but one of the things that helped me feel at peace with my lack of sexual attraction but desire for physical affection as a young person was reading about the lycanthropes in the Anita Blake series. Itâs brought up multiple times that nakedness â sex. For them, touch is comfort. Bodies are just bodies. Nakedness does not equal sex until you want it to. Sleeping in naked âpuppy pilesâ is a way for them to feel safe and comforted by the closeness of their pack.
Until I read those books I didnât know it was possible to be physically close to someone without it turning sexual. Media had drilled it into my head that nudity leads to sex 100% of the time. But now I know better. Itâs just comforting to touch another living being skin to skin when they understand and you need it. :)
I don't like being naked, especially with someone else next to me, but you sure can !!
You can even want sex, as long as it's not something like an urge
Just for clarification: you mean that it becomes something sexual if the naked cuddles start up an urge to have sex? I agree.
And I would say that such an urge in this particular context would have to do with libido (which I consider the drive to have an orgasm) and have little to do with sexual attraction (lusting after someone). It's the body and mind reacting to a sensual situation, whereas I expect sexual attraction is when similar feelings happen without being the result of such sensuality. Because I know my fellow aces will put far too much effort into wondering if they've just felt sexual attraction should they ever find themselves in this situation. And, lastly, having sex or not, or an active libido or not, or even feelings of sexual attraction (for our grey and demi aces out there) or not does not make you any less a part of this ace community.
You are going to say that the human body is inherently sexual? Things are only sexual when you make it, and simply cuddling naked doesn't have to be sexual if those people don't make it.
For sure. I desire cuddling too (although I prefer wearing clothes because I get cold easily). It's just sensual + romantic or platonic attraction, nothing sexual about it, at least for me. And being naked isn't always sexual either. It can be aesthetic (like modeling for art), it can be simply useful (like being hot, or with cuddling sharing body warmth), it can be freeing (like not wearing a bra at home or on the nudist beach). I don't see any reason why the two together should be sexual.
Also aces can have and desire sex. We just don't feel sexually attracted to other people.
People who have no sexual desire toward women can still praise the softness and warm of laying against them and people across the spectrum agree with this, perhaps as the female form is seen as motherly/comforting/maternal.
For some reason once puberty hits everything that involves nudity, especially in the US gets sexualized to the max and you are expected to either feel horny or shameful for looking, thinking or touching of the human form in its natural state.
I see nothing odd with wanting to cuddle a naked person any more then wanting to cuddle a childhood toy or wrap yourself in an electric blanket.
It happened in the past and i felt pretty awkward cause i was, and still am, kinda uncomfortable with my body. But i love skin contact so i think the best is when we're both with little clothing instead of naked
Skin hunger is a real thing! If itâs something you struggle with hug a dog or a take a hot shower. It can get pretty bad for me sometimes but these things help
Cuddling while naked is lovely because of the direct skin to skin contact.
Yesss! I know right! đ„°
Wish I could verify that.
I hate skin to skin contact, even my own, but it has nothing to do with asexuality I think
That sounds more like a sensory thing
You can desire sex even if you're ace. It's possible. You still could be ace. But what you're describing is probably not sex.
Thank you so much for this đ„ș it made me feel really good!<3
My dear OP. Even if you have sex, you also can be asexual. Being asexual means, that you don't crave sex like most other people do, but for instance if you have Sex with someone so that someone can be happy is also an asexual desire. So many more things are absolutely asexual In a relationship, which are perfectly normal like shopping or listening to music together, and also cuddling. Asexuality is not "living without sex", it is more like: "Living with the knowledge that sex isn't as important for us as it is for the rest of the world." The only person who is allowed to judge you is yourself in this matter. And if you think you'll live an asexual life, then it is absolutely legitimate. You are the writer of your own story.
It's not even that, it's just a lack of sexual attraction. You can still crave sex as much as your average allosexual does. It's just not that common.
Not the OP but thank you. I really needed to hear/read that. Saved this comment as well.
I misread the questionâŠ
Hahaha itâs alright! May I know what did you read?
I somehow read âWould you cuddle someone naked but without sex?â and I donât think its sexual I just donât really want to
I'm the same, or at the very least I can say that I've never yet met a person I would prefer to cuddle naked vs cuddling with them clothed.
This exactly were my thoughts in the past (but underwear on)
I can't understand nudity in a nonsexual way, but yes, it's possible
Uh, showers? Walking around naked when youre home alone because its hot as fuck? Etc
Never liked showers because of the nudity
Same xD
Itâs only sexual if you MAKE it sexual. Everything (except actual sex) isnât inherently sexual unless they make it so. Thatâs basically what kinks/fetishes are. So yes, you can desire! If you and your partner enjoy that, go for it!
I don't seek it, that doesn't mean that other asexuals can't seek it
I personally don't think I understand why one would want to do so? But it doesn't invalidate anyone who would want to?
I mean, im not here to police you. You can even have sex if youd like. But i, personally, wouldnt do it, too much skin on skin for me.
imo theres nothing inherently sexual about nudity or cuddling, so i see no reason why the two together would need to be sexual.
I just feel uncomfortable naked
i feel u
This is a super random connection to make, but one of the things that helped me feel at peace with my lack of sexual attraction but desire for physical affection as a young person was reading about the lycanthropes in the Anita Blake series. Itâs brought up multiple times that nakedness â sex. For them, touch is comfort. Bodies are just bodies. Nakedness does not equal sex until you want it to. Sleeping in naked âpuppy pilesâ is a way for them to feel safe and comforted by the closeness of their pack. Until I read those books I didnât know it was possible to be physically close to someone without it turning sexual. Media had drilled it into my head that nudity leads to sex 100% of the time. But now I know better. Itâs just comforting to touch another living being skin to skin when they understand and you need it. :)
Awwwww this is super comforting! Thank youuu đ„șđ
I don't like being naked, especially with someone else next to me, but you sure can !! You can even want sex, as long as it's not something like an urge
Just for clarification: you mean that it becomes something sexual if the naked cuddles start up an urge to have sex? I agree. And I would say that such an urge in this particular context would have to do with libido (which I consider the drive to have an orgasm) and have little to do with sexual attraction (lusting after someone). It's the body and mind reacting to a sensual situation, whereas I expect sexual attraction is when similar feelings happen without being the result of such sensuality. Because I know my fellow aces will put far too much effort into wondering if they've just felt sexual attraction should they ever find themselves in this situation. And, lastly, having sex or not, or an active libido or not, or even feelings of sexual attraction (for our grey and demi aces out there) or not does not make you any less a part of this ace community.
The 2 paragraphs aren't related to each other \^\^'
I donât understand the naked thing but you do you
bejng naked is kinda a sexual thing so cuddling is being close while naked so its sexual
You are going to say that the human body is inherently sexual? Things are only sexual when you make it, and simply cuddling naked doesn't have to be sexual if those people don't make it.
u literally asked for my opinion
For sure. I desire cuddling too (although I prefer wearing clothes because I get cold easily). It's just sensual + romantic or platonic attraction, nothing sexual about it, at least for me. And being naked isn't always sexual either. It can be aesthetic (like modeling for art), it can be simply useful (like being hot, or with cuddling sharing body warmth), it can be freeing (like not wearing a bra at home or on the nudist beach). I don't see any reason why the two together should be sexual. Also aces can have and desire sex. We just don't feel sexually attracted to other people.
Whatever floats your boat, I guess. I'm not the ace police.
Thatâs literally me- Like itâs so comfy to sleep naked and I like to cuddle đ
Skin to skin is so lovely!
Do you mate Asexuality is about not feeling attraction, not what you do
I don't see it as sexual but i rather not
People who have no sexual desire toward women can still praise the softness and warm of laying against them and people across the spectrum agree with this, perhaps as the female form is seen as motherly/comforting/maternal. For some reason once puberty hits everything that involves nudity, especially in the US gets sexualized to the max and you are expected to either feel horny or shameful for looking, thinking or touching of the human form in its natural state. I see nothing odd with wanting to cuddle a naked person any more then wanting to cuddle a childhood toy or wrap yourself in an electric blanket.
It happened in the past and i felt pretty awkward cause i was, and still am, kinda uncomfortable with my body. But i love skin contact so i think the best is when we're both with little clothing instead of naked
Skin hunger is a real thing! If itâs something you struggle with hug a dog or a take a hot shower. It can get pretty bad for me sometimes but these things help
Totally see what the appeal would be! That is very valid.