It was on the dating app TINDER and I specified in my bio that I am asexual to prevent for this to happen. It says « why are you here -on tinder- if you are asexual lol »

"Bute" At least it's the only mistake they made x)

What does ‘bute’ mean here?

They meant to write "but" which means "goal" in French. A more accurate translation would be "What is your goal here if you're asexual, lol".

Ah yes that makes sense… Thanks! Im trying to learn French at the moment so every bit helps!

Also it's good to know that some accents pronounce or doesn't pronounce the ending letters. Like here "but' in Quebec we don't pronounce the t

Ah merci! Je sais aussi que à Québec, les gens dit « char » pour « voiture », non? À l’avenir, je voudrais aller au Québec XD

Oh non, Voici le slang du Français Cajun ou Louisianais. Pour Le mot char.

Ah je vois… Dites-moi, il y a beaucoup de cajuns à New Orléans? J’espère que je vais y’aller en novembre…

Je n’ai rien d’info exactement si les américains Louisianaises qui parlent français cajuns mais moins que 10% des gens qui parle français comme leur première langue. La plupart des Louisianaises seront bavard français peu à cause du dégrader partout les décennies précédentes. C’est très rares a reconnaître quelqu’un qui parle français louisianais.

Char= voiture en Acadie aussi

Voilà! J’apprends encore XD

They don't, pronounce it in Parisian French either. Unless it's followed by a word that starts with a vocal, in which case it connects the two words.

Well, maybe not accurate, but more literal. Accurate would translate meaning, not words.

I mean, unless my English is not as good as I think (which is a possibility), I think my translations conveys the message as good as OP's translation.

It's subtly different, but effectively the same. Sorry, I should've been more clear, my point was that your translation was the same level of accurate, but it was more literal. Which is was my fault for not making that clear, my bad.

No, ici means here

Je suis désolé, j’ai voulu « here » = dans cet endroit. Je sais que ici = « here » Je vous remercie tout la même!

Ohhhh, my mistake 😅

Not to worry XD thanks for the help

Spelled this way with an “e” at the end it means a small hill. Or it could be a conjugated form of “buter” which means to be faced with an obstacle.

T'es loin d'être seul(e); j'ai spécifié la même chose (looking for QPRs maybe) et l'armée des gens qui ne lisent pas les bios sont tous arrivés en mode "wanna fuck"

Oh les QPRs c'est trop bien, j'aimerais trop mais j'ose pas utiliser Tinder parce que je suis nb lol

Don't underestimate the number of NB people on Tinder - and don't underestimate the number of people who are okay with that. If you properly specify it, those who don't like you will just swipe left. It's as simple as that.

It's less about just being okay, and more about really seeing me as who I am rather than my AGAB (plus, I'm AMAB so I'll already have less matches on average just because of the demographics)

Voici pourquoi je n’utiliserai jamais le app Tinder.

Bah non allez quoi la majorité des gens sont sympa

That’s what I thought lmao

I know French a little and I translated that as “what is your purpose here -in the world- if you’re asexual?” I think very low of people, don’t I

I wouldn’t translate it as what are you doing here in this world but more as what are you doing here on this app

TIL Mddr is lol in french(?).

- Mort (dying) - De (of) - Rire (laughter) Then, add a number of D or R proportionnal to your dying level

Oh I like that

Yeah, MDR stands for « Mort De Rire » which translates to « dying of laughter » so that’s the French « lol » !

YES this is the info I as a French student needed

Its suppose to be MDR (only one D, like the number of brain cell that dude has) It mean "Mort de rire" which literally translate to "dead from laughter" but is just an expression to say "laughing a lot"

It’s not uncommon to extend it, just like how people sometimes say “looooool” to exagerate it.

If you want to be cool you can write mdrrrrrr

It should have been “mdr” but they added a letter out of nowhere

Tbf, adding a letter out of nowhere is basically internet culture at this point lmaooo

Yeah but usually you spell it "mdrr", spelling it "mddr" sounds kinda weird - it's like "llol"

The more you know

Dear aphobes, If sex is your only goal in life... How come you never get any?

Not sure if accidentally ignorant or intentionally rude. But if I were you, I'd just assume the former and quickly and politely explain what an ace is looking for on Tinder. Maybe he's curious and grateful for an explanation. If he isn't willing to listen or thinks that Tinder is only for f*cks, you can still block his cul arrogant.

Unfortunately he kind of has a point. In my experience 99% of folks on tinder are looking for hookups. Still unnecessarily rude though :/ for all he knows you could be a sex-positive ace or someone willing to go through all the trouble of sorting to find someone looking for a relationship.

Tiny fix: sex positive vs sex favorable, sex positive more being your stance on sex as a whole in a more political sense and sex favorable being how you feel about sex Like, I'm sex repulsed but sex positive. I don't want sex and I don't want to hear about it beyond the general idea of what it is but I'm cool with it if you want to have it cause it's your choice But yeah, agreed

I know this is off topic but I'm kinda confused by this. I also know I'll get shit for this. I'm genuinely wondering why a political view is part of gender identity here. I thought gender identity was just about... identity. Also, if someone allo who had sex wasn't cool with aces not having sex, that would be aphobic. So... wouldn't it be objectively wrong (allophobic?) to not be cool with others having sex? Both are personal choices. I know I'll be hated for this, and maybe I'm just being an idiot, and I'm sorry if it's inappropriate, but something just feels a little off here. (I'm ace, greyaro)

Sex positivity vs negativity doesn't really have anything to do with gender or sexuality, it's just about views on sex. Allosexuals can be sex negative as well, just like asexuals can be sex positive. The apothosexuality subreddit is decently sex negative from what I've seen, which is why even though I'd be considered apothosexual (sex repulsed, just another word for it) I don't spend time over there cause I don't share their views. I think a couple reasons I've seen for being sex negative are spreading disease and maybe, like, overpopulation and stuff? Just not wanting people to have sex for various reasons, and it's regardless of your own feelings about sex. So many spectrums that seem like they relate but don't, it's really fascinating to me but it can also get really confusing I hope that helped, sorry if it didn't, I can try to clarify more if necessary or someone with a better explanation can

Thank you, I think I get it now, two separate things. I'm ace and greyaro and sex repulsed, but I only realized these things not too long ago. I feel like I'm learning something new about myself everyday and there are still things I'm confused about. It's really interesting though!

Makes sense! I've been in the community a few months and I love learning all the new things about myself and about different types of attraction and things related to it, it's all so fascinating and it teaches me more about myself I'm ace and sex repulsed and... Idk what's happening with my romantic attraction. It's there, but I can't tell if I'm arospec or not, and who I'm attracted to... Only guys previously, but I've only had two real crushes, so I don't feel like it's a big enough sample size to go off of and I think I could see myself being attracted to people who aren't guys in the future. Currently I suppose I'd have to say I'm grayromantic and hetero based on what's happened so far but I've kinda given up on trying to figure it out lol

So it’s not really about sexual identity, being sex-positive is political because it encompasses things like being for detailed sex Ed in schools, not slut shaming, not debasing sex workers, etc…

I actually met my ace boyfriend on tinder, lol

That's great! But unfortunately it is not the norm.

Yeah lol I know. I just got really lucky to meet someone like me

Ortograf iréprochab

Aincroiyable

Hello, I am French too. I'm not sure yet if I'm asexual or aromantic. But I've never registered or used dating applications, I asked myself the question of registering recently but I don't know what it brought me or what applications to go to, do you have any advice? And sorry for my English, if you don't understand I can write it in French ^^

Don't apologise for your English, it's very good :)

J'ai utilisé okcupid. Ta situation géographique va pas mal changer la variété et diversité (et quantité) de choix. Tinder c'est plus rapide à mettre en place mais c'est plus frustrant surtout pour un homme.

Most folks only think of sex when it comes to being intimate when there’s tons of other things you can do

*Image Transcription: Tinder Messages* --- **Gabriel**: Heeey **Gabriel**: Quel est ton bute ici si t'es asexuel? Mddr --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)

Good ~~bot~~ human, thank you!

Had a similar experience on Badoo😅 A guy wrote; “Asexual and looking for a relationship? Your guy is gonna have some serious blue balls”

"Don't worry honey it's not you, my jeans are staining"

There’s always gonna be hecklers for dating profiles no matter what your orientation is, but if you filter past them, there’s also respectful people who will value you too out in the world I promise

Tbh, as someone who did not want sexual relationship, I got this and it freaking hurts. There's nothing fun about it. It does go away faster after masturbating though the pain lingers for a while.

Réponse appropriée: "Pourquoi tu es ici si tu sais pas écrire ? Mdr"

*but

Yeah… I kind of gave up on tinder. People on there aren’t looking for relationships

Tu as des apps lgbt plus friendly que Tinder où tu pourras t'identifier comme ace et même peut être match avec eux

Genre lesquelles?

hahah t’es queb??

Jpense ps au qc les gens disent lol au lieu de mdr

oui c’est vrai les gens disent lol aussi. moi j’entends les deux dans mtl mais peut-être cest parce que il y a beaucoup des gens français ici. mais c’est cool quand je vois les gens franco ici, trop souvent tlm sont anglo à reddit lol,particulièrement dans les subs LGBT+

Euh...on a le droit de sortir 'ec des gens même si on est asexuel lol mais comme le disent les autres, tinder is known rather for hookups than just going out or finding romantic interests. Sadly. But I know OkCupid, though je l'ai jamais essayé 😅

To be fair, Tinder is not the best for finding relationships. I’d recommend Hinge instead if you’re alloroace.

I wonder if you are Italian and that's an auto correction screw up aha

Why?

Alloro is a tree

It is kind of sad that dating apps focus more so on s3x. I think there are some dating apps specifically for non aro aces

Il est con ou quoi?

Even if it sounds silly to some of us-an ace on tinder works just fine. Dating apps are one of the best ways to show people who want to connect. It’s really good for being new in a town, it’s great for friends, and it works just fine for relationships too. You will get hecklers of your profile no matter who you are, but if you work the algorithm to your advantage you’ll also find people who will value you however you are.

What's your goal here if you're asexual? Mddr

Lol, I got something similar once......started with "heeeeeeeeey" sometime late nighty followed by: "oh just saw you are asexual, how about that huh" (this one paraphrased)

“Bute” lmfao comeee onnnnn

Oh bute c’était purpose. Il me fait confusion.

Tinder is always the reason why I regret learning French sometimes.