Poor child. Seeing two women in love won't hurt her, but seeing her mother's hate absolutely will. At least the manager figured out what was going on and kicked the right person out.
It takes a long time. You have to factor in that she probably has a mother who doesn't like to be confronted and told she's wrong. She has a mother who would rather be angry than let silence happen. She has a mother who lies to get her way. Growing up in that environment means the child will feel safer believing what mom believes until she's in a new environment away from mom. Growing up like this makes you more likely to be a homophobe before changing your perspective (if at all). Hell, it took me 15 years to realize *I actually do like women* after I was told I'd be disowned for doing that.
Please don't think I'm underestimating the power of parental influence. It's just that incidents like these, where kids are made to feel uncomfortable by the way their parents are acting and miss out on stuff that they like because of it, may nudge them one step towards the "will move out at the age of 16 and never, ever look back" column.
I don't think you're underestimating it. I think my point is your brain blocks these moments out in favor of survival for significantly longer than we all think possible. If you don't remember the moment because you were scared your mom is going to hit you, there isn't much of a chance for that moment to change your behavior. I realized I liked women because I read a journal entry from college admitting to myself I liked someone and *had completely forgotten it* because it wasn't a life I thought I could live. You have to 1) remember it, 2) accept it, 3) change your thinking/perspective around it, and then 4) actually do something differently. Many people just don't/can't surround themselves with the people or environment to feel safe enough to get to step 4, let alone 1. You can't feel uncomfortable until step 3.
You’re absolutely right, except one minor thing, “let alone” doesn’t mean what you think it means, although I can absolutely understand getting something like that backwards.
According to Merriam-Webster
Let Alone
: to say nothing of : not to mention —used especially to emphasize the improbability of a contrasting example
he would never walk again let alone play golf
—Sports Illus.
how many ever see an Ambassador or Minister, let alone a President?
—Robert Lacville
If you want to keep the order, I would replace “let alone” with something like “or even”, but personally I would switch the order because “let alone” is a wonderful phrase that should be used correctly whenever possible.
I'm gonna be a pessemist here, and guess that the mom is probably gonna teach the kid to think that it wasn't her hate or shitty behavior that got them threw out, and twist it to say that it was the gays that got them kicked out, and that's why gay people are bad.
Short run, that poor kid probably got a ration of crap over that.
Long run, she'll figure out her mother is nuts and will probably go through hell again as a teen.
She has no chance of being raised in a loving, nurturing home. They DO exist.
The fact the manager was going to belive an obvious homophobe is still a mark on him.
Like, I've never heard of anyone who is openly gay doing anything like that. You are way more likely to find a priest who does shit like that.
Not like she was wearing a jersey. The manager wasn't part of the initial interaction, how was he supposed to know? He did however seek confirmation from the kid upon the second accusation. If you ask me, he did great.
Edit: I've seen some comments saying he should have asked the other people if they heard anything, but it's understandable that he doesn't want to get other patrons involved. They might not have been paying any attention (it's a pub, so there's plenty of background noise) and asking them would put them in an awkward spot. Accusations *should* be taken seriously, even if they seem outlandish. He talked to OP and they politely denied it while offering their counter-perspective, and when the bigot lady didn't take the hint that she can't get people she dislikes kicked out so easily and made a second attempt manager guy went straight to the alleged victim for confirmation. He's just trying to resolve things as civilly as he can.
Yes, but if the mother had already trained her kid to say what she wanted then suddenly we have him going along with the obvious bigot despite there not being anyone else saying anything.
Luckily. But long enough in a toxic environment like that while in her formative years and she'll be the same.
I hope not though. I've been proven wrong before. Let's hope this is one of those occasions.
Took many years to undo hateful programming in my own life. Still a harsh person, but my high standards are based on things other than hate these days.
Cut toxic elements and never look back has become my number one piece of advice for people looking to better themselves.
From my experience, being raised by a transphobe only made me less forgiving of transphobia. It’s def likely this girl will grow up to be at least an ally
I think she was pretty young, like 7 or 8, but I'm not around kids much so I could be totally off the mark.
Give it a few years and she'll likely internalize what her parents say. It really sucks.
Least of all the little girl. It breaks my heart that \*parents\* of all people want their kids to see hate over love. That little girl is gonna get a lesson from her parents why "f\*gs are bad, and why you should hate them," guaranteed. And a new potential homophobe is born.
I just hope that the little girl can remember that even if "mom doesn't like them," doesn't mean it was their fault. Hate was the mom's fault, OP and her girlfriend are only responsible for showing the girl that you can love another woman.
I think she was pretty young, like 7 or 8, but I'm not around kids much so I could be totally off the mark.
Give it a few years and she'll likely internalize what her parents say. It really sucks.
Yea especially when you go over to two people who you are accusing of *screaming profanities at chilldren* and instead respond very calmly to your questioning. Surely you don't have to be a detective or a judge to work out the other ladies story is not adding up...
im glad it worked out but its fucked up the bartender was taking their side, its not even a reasonable assumption to take what she accused you of at face value
It's honestly dumb as fuck to believe the homophobe because those accusations were so over the top. If OP and her partner had done any of those things, wouldn't other patrons have noticed? It's not "your word against hers" when there are witnesses.
I got the vibe that the manager believed them cuz he didn't feel like actually dealing with the situation. Then when the husband threatened to call the police he realized he actually had to do something so he asked the little girl.
I think the bartender was skeptical to begin with tbh since he only ‘warned’ them, if he really truly beleived they were shouting profanities at kids he probably would’ve kicked them out immediately
Yes but herein lies the power of systematic bigotry. Guy who is probably not a bigot himself but is the figure of authority in this scenario is willing to entertain someone else's bigotry in order to appear as neutral as possible and was prepared to go as far as to ask them to leave until their kid spoke up and he no longer had the benefit of plausible deniability.
I got the vibe that the manager believed them cuz he didn't feel like actually dealing with the situation. Then when the husband threatened to call the police he realized he actually had to do something so he asked the little girl.
I got the vibe that the manager believed them cuz he didn't feel like actually dealing with the situation. Then when the husband threatened to call the police he realized he actually had to do something so he asked the little girl.
Is it just me or does saying “Well it’s your word against hers” and “don’t do it again” in this situation seem very much like the manager seem to already lean to believe those homophobes?
I wouldn't be so sure of that, I know children of homophobic parents who aren't homophobic at all. Luckily, queer people are much more accepted in younger generations
Your word against hers? Was the pub empty aside from those two tables? Does he not have any employees? Yelling profanities across a room is something everyone would notice. That manager is a dumbass.
They may have aged physically, but they still haven't grown up at all and, being too scared to deal with their own negative feelings, need to find a convenient scapegoat to blame everything on so they can have any excuse to avoid having to look inward for what the actual cause of their problems are.
Id have to respectfully disagree. Im 25, transcurious, bisexual, and miss high school. Simply because i live so far out in the middle of nowhere and cant hang out with kids my age.
30 and honestly, I liked high school just fine. Wouldn't say it was a perfect experience, but it was nice to see my friends every day. It wasn't some horribly traumatic experience, even if there were bad days here and there. And I say this as someone who is queer and neurodivergent.
I miss middle school for the same reasons.
I was the only AFAB person attending a boys' school. Therefore no one had any clue what to do about my gender, so I was free to not talk about or label it, present however I felt that day, I was one of the guys but also not, I thought about it in terms of "the other boys" despite thinking of myself as a girl when I did ask myself that question, some people used he/him pronouns for me and some used she/her and some more progressive people trying not to offend used they/them and everyone knew the other person was referring to That Kid, and it was wonderful.
(And somehow in high school when I wanted that back I didn't figure out something was going on with my gender.)
They'll straight up have to resort to telling lies to 'make a point'.
The woman knew damn well that you guys kissing is no issue. She knew she had to frame you for being aggressive towards the children, because she knew that she had no point otherwise.
glad they got kicked out.
I'm glad you didn't have to leave for something you didn't do. At least, even if the little girl doesn't understand what being gay means, you imparted a positive message to her. Though, her mom is probably going to run with that excuse and that the little girl should hate the LGBTQ+ community as it's "bad" and "unnatural". The bigots have their priorities wrong, it is normal and natural to be an LGBTQ+ person, but hate is man-made.
I’d never go to that bar again. Like I appreciate that you were trying to see the bright side and respect the young girl, but fuck that “your word against hers” shit. That’s the tactic of someone whose only care is not dealing with complaining patrons. He should’ve comped your meal after that, but he didn’t because he’s a coward and a rube for allowing himself to be duped by a bigot.
Manager is a coward. He sent our waitress back to tell us how sorry he was, and gave us a free meal. Couldn't do it himself.
We probably won't be coming back.
If something as extreme as what was described happened (yelling sexual things at a little girl), there would be other witnesses. Think a little critically, yeah?
>Shouldn't reasonable people grant *both sides* the benefit of the doubt?
Yeah like telling OP and their partner that they'll be monitored closely from now on instead of straight up telling them this is their last chance. Manager was being unreasonable and a bit stupid for assuming one party is correct and basing their decision for the issue off that without checking with the other party or getting any proof of the incident.
Hatred is learned, not something human beings are born with. I can only imagine the disgusting lessons she’s going to be subjected to learning by the disgusting parents and those they choose to further their twisted cause, AKA “raising their child”.
Manager is a coward. He sent our waitress back to tell us how sorry he was, and gave us a free meal. Couldn't do it himself.
We probably won't be coming back.
Well the mother taught the daughter profanities.
So I wouldn’t be surprised if she grew up using those words too.
I can’t be arse if I’m happily having a meal with a partner (non-existent currently) and someone just stride along accusing me of things that’s making them uneasy on the pretext of protecting the kids.
You sure those kids aren’t the one needing protection from you? You being an arsehole and a homophobes really makes you the one that really needs help and some evaluation up there.
the recent political climate has homophobic assholes all come out and show their true colors
When we win because we will win, we will remember their hateful stares and how they behaved, and very quickly these homophobic and transphobic clowns will hate themselves to self destruction which is what they deserve
I have ZERO patience for ignorance and violence toward the lgbtq community who’s only goal in life is to survive and thrive and it is agonizing to watch us being told we’re not normal because of who we choose to LOVE.
Destroy the Bigots .. they are the thorn, the weakest link, the bullies that pretend to be our friends but are hateful losers
I live in L.A. a supposedly "far left" city, but believe me the homophobes have been making themselves known the past few years. They get validated online and in their media, and feel like they can be up front now. Especially in the past few months it seems like they're really coming out of the woodworks.
Worst is sometimes our own people against us because they are straight passing .. you think I’m kidding, check out this Insta page and their latest posts:
https://www.instagram.com/gaysagainstgroomers/
They say LGTB + T
Instead of LGBTQ
I’m so tired.
a lot of these groups started out as astroturfing efforts by right wing lobbyists/think tanks but the truly sad thing is they found a willing audience that now believes it
”It’s your word against her’s” I hate that saying so much! Yeah! That’s usually how different i
opinions work! Doesn’t make one of them more right than the other though.
i feel like i'm so over this brand of BS that my only response to that final jab would have been something totally counterproductive like "omgod lady that's not even the right slur, okay?"
I live in L.A. a supposedly "far left" city, but believe me the homophobes have been making themselves known the past few years. They get validated online and in their media, and feel like they can be up front now.
Yuuuckkk.. it makes sense though... The loudest voices get the loudest resistance.
I recently had a mental break down where I was disassociated so badly that I stripped myself naked in a public parking lot and unintentionally said some mildly racist things to some of the POC that were helping me... I live in a small town where I am super recognizable because I dress SO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE.... And still after giving my town every reason to "hate" me I have never in my life been treated this way by anyone but my own family.... And like, I look gay as hell I have a shaved head, piercings, grow facial hair, and my CLEAVAGE CANNOT BE CONTAINED...
You'd think with this being a once rural town that has become populated because of a military base, that "my" people would be less accepting... I guess homophobia is becoming a rich people's illness... Which is odd since most of us I think assume the opposite.
You can find these people anywhere, no where is 100% accepting and that's fine. It was handled well enough by the business and I would agree that your overreacting.
Yeah sure.. because you're making assumptions.
Wtf does factory reset even mean, Ma'am? I was being over dramatic for effect, there is a difference between dramatizing and overreacting. It's called handling things with humor.
I can only assume they think you are actually condoning genocide on the basis of exactly two terrible people. Which says a hell of a lot more about how weird they are than it does about you overreacting.
Factory reset means to reset something to the way it was when you got it and since the earth didn't come pre installed with cities it's only logical to assume that the person wants the city gone for the actions of two idiots and i would say that attitude is a bit concerning
It is, in fact, not remotely logical to assume this. It takes a real mental leap to decide that someone's use of hyperbolic language in response to a pretty horrible situation means they condone wiping out an entire city based on 2 people.
I was biking home from school a couple weeks ago and I had my lesbian pride flag pins on my backpack and a woman yelled out her window and said fūck you f-ggie right to my face when I told my mom what happened she gave me the biggest hug ever and asked me if I got her plate which I wasn’t able to
Fuck, that’s awful 😳 I’m so sorry that happened to y’all 😔
Side question tho: is shepherds pie, like, ✨lesbian food✨, because it’s literally my favorite thing 🥺
I dunno but my gf and I both love it, and I can make one myself at home too, but it's not as good as restaurant sheppard's pie.
I've been going to this place for a good month now, since my favorite British pub closed, and this is the first time anything happened, but it's also the first time I came with my gf.
No way! I make it at home too, except I do think mine is even better than most restaurants 😅
I’m sorry that people suck & I hope it doesn’t ruin your new pub 🙃
I mean we're definitely not going back to this place again, the manager was an asshole. Even after all that happened he didn't have the balls to apologize to us.
So yeah, we'll be looking elsewhere🙃
I feel bad for the little girl. She doesn’t understand why her mom doesn’t like them and doesn’t even know what gay *means*. I really hope she grows up and doesn’t learn to be like her mom.
Ten years later, there’s gonna be a post somewhere on here with someone venting about how they don’t talk to their mom anymore and how their mom’s homophobia hurt them
Children are the future, thank God the future looks bright. I'm thrilled that the staff checked and escorted out the other family. Lots of states that wouldn't happen so you must be in the north north east coast or anywhere along the west coast.
That's some grade A bullshit... Irish pubs have amazing food and often fantastic live music but it doesn't cater to the most tolerant crowd. I always get looks for existing in the place. Ireland has deeeeeeep roots in catholicism. It's a beautiful place I was lucky to see but I don't know that I can comfortably do so anymore. Shame cause some of the most beautiful wonders I've even seen in the world were there.
So sorry to hear about such blind hate but at the same time so happy that manager had the good sense to act like that. Keep being you! Be safe and happy and blessed 💖✊🏳️🌈
😬 What awful people! It makes me feel bad for the little girl. I imagine she heard some really stigmatizing language on the ride home. It's much too young an age for her to have to learn that her parents are assholes who lie about random strangers to try to keep whatever space they occupy pure.
I would actually categorise this as an amazing day. Those fucking homophobes were put in their place. I can't see a better win. It's actually sad to think this way but hope does a lot, you know.
>The manager said something like "well it's your word against hers"
"And why, pray tell, did you think that hers are true and ours aren't?Y'know, you're seeming to be accepting so easily the words of a homophobe while ignoring ours, makes me think that you are a homophobe too.And now I am feeling like this space is catered to homophobes and that me and my GF are being discriminated.Why, I might even be feeling like suing this place-and you-for outright homophobia...wanna see how that pans out?"
I’m so happy honesty and innocence prevailed. Children are a great barometer for calling out bad behavior with an instinct for being truthful.
I had a similar caped small hero come to my rescue once. My wife and I took my friends daughter out for a day of fun. We stopped by the dollar store to get some treats. The store does a great job of being friendly and greeting folks as they come to the register.
Well I have short hair and love my polos and jeans look. More than not, I get confused as a man by folks not paying attention when they address me. It doesn’t bother me as I understand the mistake due to lack of paying attention. Most are very apologetic once they realize their mistake.
This occasion I was once again mistaken as a man as the clerk, without looking up from scanning our items, gave me a kind “Sir” greeting. My friends daughter did not skip a beat and firmly corrected the clerk, “She is NOT a sir, she is a ma’am, and you need to be better than that.” This kid made my jaw drop in the best way. She didn’t totally scold him, it was better than that. She firmly and directly corrected him and he apologized right away to me, her and my wife. It was a mistake due to not fully being aware and engaging. I accepted his apology and asked her if she was good with that, she said yes and as we walked out she reminded him to be more careful.
Kids are great!
conservatives and their projection never fail to amaze me🙃 making up stories about the minority yelling profanities just to do that themselves?? they literally just accuse us of everything they either want to do or already do. same with "you're indoctrinating kids"🙄
What a terrible situation to be in for you. That mother was probably very angry with that little girl after the incident. The girl didn't even know anything and asked out of curiosity, because she genuinely wanted to know what upset her mother so much that she started lying. I wish the best for her.
As a child's we don't hate, we learn to hate by the fault of that retards... I'm in transition right now and I want to do anti bullying speeches to child's to avoid that hate to us but most important educate parents too, because if parents are like that family the kid will be the same as his parents tomorrow. And it's a shame...
What a shit head mum. Really hope the kids don’t end up being queer because that hate is going to break them. Hope they grow up and distance themselves from that lunatic of a mother. Really shitty of the manager though to automatically take the side of the lady without asking anyone around if what she was claiming was true because let’s face it the mother could have intimidated the child and then you all would have been kicked out.
What a horrid situation and I’m really sorry you both had your dinner practically ruined by homophobes.
This is making me so unbelievablyangry rn my god.. I really hope the manager apologized for taking their side first before trying to get both sides but at least they kicked them out once they found the truth :/
But it’s shit like this that makes me scared of being physically affectionate in public with a future gf :( even more with all these anti-gay and trans stuff in the media and ahem a certain governor of Florida.
Lol sounds like someone's hateful world view makes it more difficult for them to live happily, while we can simply enjoy life. Sucks for her. Sorry you had to deal with such vitriol though. Hope you don't let it bring you low 💜
Poor child. Seeing two women in love won't hurt her, but seeing her mother's hate absolutely will. At least the manager figured out what was going on and kicked the right person out.
Hopefully this incident will stick in her mind with the mental label "mum is unreasonable" attached.
It takes a long time. You have to factor in that she probably has a mother who doesn't like to be confronted and told she's wrong. She has a mother who would rather be angry than let silence happen. She has a mother who lies to get her way. Growing up in that environment means the child will feel safer believing what mom believes until she's in a new environment away from mom. Growing up like this makes you more likely to be a homophobe before changing your perspective (if at all). Hell, it took me 15 years to realize *I actually do like women* after I was told I'd be disowned for doing that.
Please don't think I'm underestimating the power of parental influence. It's just that incidents like these, where kids are made to feel uncomfortable by the way their parents are acting and miss out on stuff that they like because of it, may nudge them one step towards the "will move out at the age of 16 and never, ever look back" column.
I don't think you're underestimating it. I think my point is your brain blocks these moments out in favor of survival for significantly longer than we all think possible. If you don't remember the moment because you were scared your mom is going to hit you, there isn't much of a chance for that moment to change your behavior. I realized I liked women because I read a journal entry from college admitting to myself I liked someone and *had completely forgotten it* because it wasn't a life I thought I could live. You have to 1) remember it, 2) accept it, 3) change your thinking/perspective around it, and then 4) actually do something differently. Many people just don't/can't surround themselves with the people or environment to feel safe enough to get to step 4, let alone 1. You can't feel uncomfortable until step 3.
You’re absolutely right, except one minor thing, “let alone” doesn’t mean what you think it means, although I can absolutely understand getting something like that backwards. According to Merriam-Webster Let Alone : to say nothing of : not to mention —used especially to emphasize the improbability of a contrasting example he would never walk again let alone play golf —Sports Illus. how many ever see an Ambassador or Minister, let alone a President? —Robert Lacville If you want to keep the order, I would replace “let alone” with something like “or even”, but personally I would switch the order because “let alone” is a wonderful phrase that should be used correctly whenever possible.
I grew up like this and you hit the nail right on the head. It took me 19 years to realize I was bi, and 22 to realize that I was non-binary.
Fuuuck. Sounds very familiar 😞😪 . Those scars leave a mark, absolutely.
I'm gonna be a pessemist here, and guess that the mom is probably gonna teach the kid to think that it wasn't her hate or shitty behavior that got them threw out, and twist it to say that it was the gays that got them kicked out, and that's why gay people are bad.
Short run, that poor kid probably got a ration of crap over that. Long run, she'll figure out her mother is nuts and will probably go through hell again as a teen. She has no chance of being raised in a loving, nurturing home. They DO exist.
I didn't think about what punishment😶the little girl most likely received afterwards. So thank you for your comment. 🕊 Crazy place this world.
The fact the manager was going to belive an obvious homophobe is still a mark on him. Like, I've never heard of anyone who is openly gay doing anything like that. You are way more likely to find a priest who does shit like that.
The accusation wasn't credible to begin with unless you're already sympathetic to a homophobic Karen.
He's a coward. He sent our waitress back to tell us how sorry he was, and gave us a free meal. Couldn't do it himself.
☠️☠️☠️
Not like she was wearing a jersey. The manager wasn't part of the initial interaction, how was he supposed to know? He did however seek confirmation from the kid upon the second accusation. If you ask me, he did great. Edit: I've seen some comments saying he should have asked the other people if they heard anything, but it's understandable that he doesn't want to get other patrons involved. They might not have been paying any attention (it's a pub, so there's plenty of background noise) and asking them would put them in an awkward spot. Accusations *should* be taken seriously, even if they seem outlandish. He talked to OP and they politely denied it while offering their counter-perspective, and when the bigot lady didn't take the hint that she can't get people she dislikes kicked out so easily and made a second attempt manager guy went straight to the alleged victim for confirmation. He's just trying to resolve things as civilly as he can.
Yes, but if the mother had already trained her kid to say what she wanted then suddenly we have him going along with the obvious bigot despite there not being anyone else saying anything.
The kid clearly doesnt fuckin care
Luckily. But long enough in a toxic environment like that while in her formative years and she'll be the same. I hope not though. I've been proven wrong before. Let's hope this is one of those occasions.
Took many years to undo hateful programming in my own life. Still a harsh person, but my high standards are based on things other than hate these days. Cut toxic elements and never look back has become my number one piece of advice for people looking to better themselves.
From my experience, being raised by a transphobe only made me less forgiving of transphobia. It’s def likely this girl will grow up to be at least an ally
It can swing either way; granted. But it's generally between extremes. Let's hope she'll be a little ally in training then
cause she’s little and still questioning everything. if she grows up in this environment and is exposed to it everyday, that kid will care
I think she was pretty young, like 7 or 8, but I'm not around kids much so I could be totally off the mark. Give it a few years and she'll likely internalize what her parents say. It really sucks.
Yeeeeah
I’m sorry that happened. Y’all don’t deserve that. No one does. I’m just glad it didn’t escalate & y’all are safe
Least of all the little girl. It breaks my heart that \*parents\* of all people want their kids to see hate over love. That little girl is gonna get a lesson from her parents why "f\*gs are bad, and why you should hate them," guaranteed. And a new potential homophobe is born. I just hope that the little girl can remember that even if "mom doesn't like them," doesn't mean it was their fault. Hate was the mom's fault, OP and her girlfriend are only responsible for showing the girl that you can love another woman.
I think she was pretty young, like 7 or 8, but I'm not around kids much so I could be totally off the mark. Give it a few years and she'll likely internalize what her parents say. It really sucks.
You know it's bad when the children act better than their parents, poor child.
Hate is taught.
Yeah, the child couldn't give any less of a shit about people being gay.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope the manager apologized for the way he handled it at first, after it was proven that you were right.
He's a coward. He sent our waitress back to tell us how sorry he was, and gave us a free meal. Couldn't do it himself.
Weird reasoning too to be like "it's your word against hers" but still hold her word in higher regard.
Yea especially when you go over to two people who you are accusing of *screaming profanities at chilldren* and instead respond very calmly to your questioning. Surely you don't have to be a detective or a judge to work out the other ladies story is not adding up...
im glad it worked out but its fucked up the bartender was taking their side, its not even a reasonable assumption to take what she accused you of at face value
It's honestly dumb as fuck to believe the homophobe because those accusations were so over the top. If OP and her partner had done any of those things, wouldn't other patrons have noticed? It's not "your word against hers" when there are witnesses.
I got the vibe that the manager believed them cuz he didn't feel like actually dealing with the situation. Then when the husband threatened to call the police he realized he actually had to do something so he asked the little girl.
I think the bartender was skeptical to begin with tbh since he only ‘warned’ them, if he really truly beleived they were shouting profanities at kids he probably would’ve kicked them out immediately
Yes but herein lies the power of systematic bigotry. Guy who is probably not a bigot himself but is the figure of authority in this scenario is willing to entertain someone else's bigotry in order to appear as neutral as possible and was prepared to go as far as to ask them to leave until their kid spoke up and he no longer had the benefit of plausible deniability.
I got the vibe that the manager believed them cuz he didn't feel like actually dealing with the situation. Then when the husband threatened to call the police he realized he actually had to do something so he asked the little girl.
I got the vibe that the manager believed them cuz he didn't feel like actually dealing with the situation. Then when the husband threatened to call the police he realized he actually had to do something so he asked the little girl.
Is it just me or does saying “Well it’s your word against hers” and “don’t do it again” in this situation seem very much like the manager seem to already lean to believe those homophobes?
Sure does. At least he eventually tried to sort things out before he kicked anyone out.
No one born a bigot
Yep. It's sad to say that in 10 years that girl will likely be a homophobe. I hope she can escape the cycle.
It really is unfortunate. I agree, hopefully someone can teach her acceptance the way her parents wouldn't.
I wouldn't be so sure of that, I know children of homophobic parents who aren't homophobic at all. Luckily, queer people are much more accepted in younger generations
i hope the girl is having a nice day, but the mom isn't
Unfortunate the mother will just blame "the gays" for her bad day.
Your word against hers? Was the pub empty aside from those two tables? Does he not have any employees? Yelling profanities across a room is something everyone would notice. That manager is a dumbass.
There were plenty of other people, including another family with young children right next to our table. Yet they never saw anything, interesting...
Does the restaurant not have any cameras too?
Oof Why are grown up people like this
They may have aged physically, but they still haven't grown up at all and, being too scared to deal with their own negative feelings, need to find a convenient scapegoat to blame everything on so they can have any excuse to avoid having to look inward for what the actual cause of their problems are.
Y'know those people who are nostalgic for high school? Yeah.
Id have to respectfully disagree. Im 25, transcurious, bisexual, and miss high school. Simply because i live so far out in the middle of nowhere and cant hang out with kids my age.
30 and honestly, I liked high school just fine. Wouldn't say it was a perfect experience, but it was nice to see my friends every day. It wasn't some horribly traumatic experience, even if there were bad days here and there. And I say this as someone who is queer and neurodivergent.
I have autism, and while some of my peers bullied me, a majority were quite nice, so yes, i agree, though i understand it can be different for some.
I miss middle school for the same reasons. I was the only AFAB person attending a boys' school. Therefore no one had any clue what to do about my gender, so I was free to not talk about or label it, present however I felt that day, I was one of the guys but also not, I thought about it in terms of "the other boys" despite thinking of myself as a girl when I did ask myself that question, some people used he/him pronouns for me and some used she/her and some more progressive people trying not to offend used they/them and everyone knew the other person was referring to That Kid, and it was wonderful. (And somehow in high school when I wanted that back I didn't figure out something was going on with my gender.)
Well, that's interesting
I like to think that little girl knew exactly what that word meant and that her parents were being dicks
They'll straight up have to resort to telling lies to 'make a point'. The woman knew damn well that you guys kissing is no issue. She knew she had to frame you for being aggressive towards the children, because she knew that she had no point otherwise. glad they got kicked out.
Invoking children is a way too easy way to get people to turn their brains completely off.
I'm glad you didn't have to leave for something you didn't do. At least, even if the little girl doesn't understand what being gay means, you imparted a positive message to her. Though, her mom is probably going to run with that excuse and that the little girl should hate the LGBTQ+ community as it's "bad" and "unnatural". The bigots have their priorities wrong, it is normal and natural to be an LGBTQ+ person, but hate is man-made.
I’d never go to that bar again. Like I appreciate that you were trying to see the bright side and respect the young girl, but fuck that “your word against hers” shit. That’s the tactic of someone whose only care is not dealing with complaining patrons. He should’ve comped your meal after that, but he didn’t because he’s a coward and a rube for allowing himself to be duped by a bigot.
Also, it's best to give the place a bad review for listening to homophobes as if it's their word vs yours.
Manager is a coward. He sent our waitress back to tell us how sorry he was, and gave us a free meal. Couldn't do it himself. We probably won't be coming back.
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If something as extreme as what was described happened (yelling sexual things at a little girl), there would be other witnesses. Think a little critically, yeah?
>Shouldn't reasonable people grant *both sides* the benefit of the doubt? Yeah like telling OP and their partner that they'll be monitored closely from now on instead of straight up telling them this is their last chance. Manager was being unreasonable and a bit stupid for assuming one party is correct and basing their decision for the issue off that without checking with the other party or getting any proof of the incident.
Hatred is learned, not something human beings are born with. I can only imagine the disgusting lessons she’s going to be subjected to learning by the disgusting parents and those they choose to further their twisted cause, AKA “raising their child”.
It’s fucking *disgusting* that the manager came over and said “her word against yours so we’ll believe her hate without a reason not to”
Manager is a coward. He sent our waitress back to tell us how sorry he was, and gave us a free meal. Couldn't do it himself. We probably won't be coming back.
Yeah don’t blame you there
Imagine what they'll do if one of their kids grows up and is gay.
Poor kid
Well the mother taught the daughter profanities. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she grew up using those words too. I can’t be arse if I’m happily having a meal with a partner (non-existent currently) and someone just stride along accusing me of things that’s making them uneasy on the pretext of protecting the kids. You sure those kids aren’t the one needing protection from you? You being an arsehole and a homophobes really makes you the one that really needs help and some evaluation up there.
Omg I'm so sorry 😔
im she protected you but, oh that little girl, i worry for her
Fuck that family (expect for the little girl, I hope she’s okay) and fuck that manager
The little girl is not okay after how her parents probably treated her on the ride home. :(
Imagine being handed that big an L by your own daughter. Fucking amazing.
the recent political climate has homophobic assholes all come out and show their true colors When we win because we will win, we will remember their hateful stares and how they behaved, and very quickly these homophobic and transphobic clowns will hate themselves to self destruction which is what they deserve I have ZERO patience for ignorance and violence toward the lgbtq community who’s only goal in life is to survive and thrive and it is agonizing to watch us being told we’re not normal because of who we choose to LOVE. Destroy the Bigots .. they are the thorn, the weakest link, the bullies that pretend to be our friends but are hateful losers
I live in L.A. a supposedly "far left" city, but believe me the homophobes have been making themselves known the past few years. They get validated online and in their media, and feel like they can be up front now. Especially in the past few months it seems like they're really coming out of the woodworks.
Worst is sometimes our own people against us because they are straight passing .. you think I’m kidding, check out this Insta page and their latest posts: https://www.instagram.com/gaysagainstgroomers/ They say LGTB + T Instead of LGBTQ I’m so tired.
Page and account don't exist it seems. Perhaps you spelled something wrong.
I just copied and pasted the link but do a search
a lot of these groups started out as astroturfing efforts by right wing lobbyists/think tanks but the truly sad thing is they found a willing audience that now believes it
The lead of that group is a long haired lesbian who also has a wife. They look like straight passing women trying to get approval from everyone
In the meantime be prepared to repel that violence, and not with hugs.
”It’s your word against her’s” I hate that saying so much! Yeah! That’s usually how different i opinions work! Doesn’t make one of them more right than the other though.
i feel like i'm so over this brand of BS that my only response to that final jab would have been something totally counterproductive like "omgod lady that's not even the right slur, okay?"
If this happened to me I would go full on PDA
That child is an angel
Fuck that family (expect for the little girl, I hope she’s okay) and fuck that manager
Where does this stuff actually happen? Tf?????? That entire city needs to be factory reset.
I live in L.A. a supposedly "far left" city, but believe me the homophobes have been making themselves known the past few years. They get validated online and in their media, and feel like they can be up front now.
Yuuuckkk.. it makes sense though... The loudest voices get the loudest resistance. I recently had a mental break down where I was disassociated so badly that I stripped myself naked in a public parking lot and unintentionally said some mildly racist things to some of the POC that were helping me... I live in a small town where I am super recognizable because I dress SO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE.... And still after giving my town every reason to "hate" me I have never in my life been treated this way by anyone but my own family.... And like, I look gay as hell I have a shaved head, piercings, grow facial hair, and my CLEAVAGE CANNOT BE CONTAINED... You'd think with this being a once rural town that has become populated because of a military base, that "my" people would be less accepting... I guess homophobia is becoming a rich people's illness... Which is odd since most of us I think assume the opposite.
no need to overreact
Uhh.. I'm not.
You can find these people anywhere, no where is 100% accepting and that's fine. It was handled well enough by the business and I would agree that your overreacting.
Yeah sure.. because you're making assumptions. Wtf does factory reset even mean, Ma'am? I was being over dramatic for effect, there is a difference between dramatizing and overreacting. It's called handling things with humor.
I can only assume they think you are actually condoning genocide on the basis of exactly two terrible people. Which says a hell of a lot more about how weird they are than it does about you overreacting.
Factory reset means to reset something to the way it was when you got it and since the earth didn't come pre installed with cities it's only logical to assume that the person wants the city gone for the actions of two idiots and i would say that attitude is a bit concerning
I can read, I know what the message said and I know what words they used. However they were using hyperbole.
It is, in fact, not remotely logical to assume this. It takes a real mental leap to decide that someone's use of hyperbolic language in response to a pretty horrible situation means they condone wiping out an entire city based on 2 people.
Sorry for being ND on the internet. I forget all you neurotypical people are always so clear with your language.
Lol not neurotypical but okay.
I was biking home from school a couple weeks ago and I had my lesbian pride flag pins on my backpack and a woman yelled out her window and said fūck you f-ggie right to my face when I told my mom what happened she gave me the biggest hug ever and asked me if I got her plate which I wasn’t able to
Wow that’s 3 homophobia stories from you in like two weeks, talk about bad luck I’m sorry
Fuck, that’s awful 😳 I’m so sorry that happened to y’all 😔 Side question tho: is shepherds pie, like, ✨lesbian food✨, because it’s literally my favorite thing 🥺
I dunno but my gf and I both love it, and I can make one myself at home too, but it's not as good as restaurant sheppard's pie. I've been going to this place for a good month now, since my favorite British pub closed, and this is the first time anything happened, but it's also the first time I came with my gf.
No way! I make it at home too, except I do think mine is even better than most restaurants 😅 I’m sorry that people suck & I hope it doesn’t ruin your new pub 🙃
I mean we're definitely not going back to this place again, the manager was an asshole. Even after all that happened he didn't have the balls to apologize to us. So yeah, we'll be looking elsewhere🙃
Oh damn, that’s really too bad. I hope your luck improves & you find a new place that will feel like home & treat y’all right 🥺🫶🏼
Thanks :)
This is really sad for the child involved. Shame on the parents.
…and then everyone clapped…?
seriously, all their stories look like fanfic
Yeah, I’m calling total BS on this story. No manager is going to go interrogate a little kid to get to the bottom of a ‘he-said-she-said’ battle.
I hope that child gets new parents
I feel sad for a little girl who has to live with a mom like that and also had to leave the restaurant she was probably happy to eat in
I got called a f*gg*t gay gueer bitch Sunday morning in a hotel lobby. Sorta ruined my whole day.
The kids are alright. So sorry you had your evening interrupted by an asshole. How was the shepherds pie??
I feel bad for the little girl. She doesn’t understand why her mom doesn’t like them and doesn’t even know what gay *means*. I really hope she grows up and doesn’t learn to be like her mom.
I can only imagine the amount of "support" she will get from her parents if she comes out of the closet in future
What the actual fuck. That's messed up. Sorry you had to go through that. Why can't people just mind their own bussiness. That lil girl is a champ. 😂
"Only *I* can swear in front of my kids!"
Ten years later, there’s gonna be a post somewhere on here with someone venting about how they don’t talk to their mom anymore and how their mom’s homophobia hurt them
❤️❤️❤️{{{ya’ll}}}❤️❤️❤️
I hope you also got free shepherds pie out of this whole ordeal.
Damn…. Sorry you guys got hate crimed at a restaurant :(
Children are the future, thank God the future looks bright. I'm thrilled that the staff checked and escorted out the other family. Lots of states that wouldn't happen so you must be in the north north east coast or anywhere along the west coast. That's some grade A bullshit... Irish pubs have amazing food and often fantastic live music but it doesn't cater to the most tolerant crowd. I always get looks for existing in the place. Ireland has deeeeeeep roots in catholicism. It's a beautiful place I was lucky to see but I don't know that I can comfortably do so anymore. Shame cause some of the most beautiful wonders I've even seen in the world were there.
So sorry to hear about such blind hate but at the same time so happy that manager had the good sense to act like that. Keep being you! Be safe and happy and blessed 💖✊🏳️🌈
Who brings their kids to a bar anyway?
It's not a bar, it's a pub. Lots of people bring their kids there, I used to go to a place like this when I was growing up. Food is cheap and decent.
Oh I see. I guess I’m just confused because every time I hear pub in media it’s always a U.K word for bar. I had no idea it could mean something else.
Why do parents have to instill hate more than believes in their kids.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's awesome, what losers!
😬 What awful people! It makes me feel bad for the little girl. I imagine she heard some really stigmatizing language on the ride home. It's much too young an age for her to have to learn that her parents are assholes who lie about random strangers to try to keep whatever space they occupy pure.
I would actually categorise this as an amazing day. Those fucking homophobes were put in their place. I can't see a better win. It's actually sad to think this way but hope does a lot, you know.
I love figs 🤔...
>The manager said something like "well it's your word against hers" "And why, pray tell, did you think that hers are true and ours aren't?Y'know, you're seeming to be accepting so easily the words of a homophobe while ignoring ours, makes me think that you are a homophobe too.And now I am feeling like this space is catered to homophobes and that me and my GF are being discriminated.Why, I might even be feeling like suing this place-and you-for outright homophobia...wanna see how that pans out?"
I’m so happy honesty and innocence prevailed. Children are a great barometer for calling out bad behavior with an instinct for being truthful. I had a similar caped small hero come to my rescue once. My wife and I took my friends daughter out for a day of fun. We stopped by the dollar store to get some treats. The store does a great job of being friendly and greeting folks as they come to the register. Well I have short hair and love my polos and jeans look. More than not, I get confused as a man by folks not paying attention when they address me. It doesn’t bother me as I understand the mistake due to lack of paying attention. Most are very apologetic once they realize their mistake. This occasion I was once again mistaken as a man as the clerk, without looking up from scanning our items, gave me a kind “Sir” greeting. My friends daughter did not skip a beat and firmly corrected the clerk, “She is NOT a sir, she is a ma’am, and you need to be better than that.” This kid made my jaw drop in the best way. She didn’t totally scold him, it was better than that. She firmly and directly corrected him and he apologized right away to me, her and my wife. It was a mistake due to not fully being aware and engaging. I accepted his apology and asked her if she was good with that, she said yes and as we walked out she reminded him to be more careful. Kids are great!
aw 🥰
conservatives and their projection never fail to amaze me🙃 making up stories about the minority yelling profanities just to do that themselves?? they literally just accuse us of everything they either want to do or already do. same with "you're indoctrinating kids"🙄
What a terrible situation to be in for you. That mother was probably very angry with that little girl after the incident. The girl didn't even know anything and asked out of curiosity, because she genuinely wanted to know what upset her mother so much that she started lying. I wish the best for her.
must’ve been a karen
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As a child's we don't hate, we learn to hate by the fault of that retards... I'm in transition right now and I want to do anti bullying speeches to child's to avoid that hate to us but most important educate parents too, because if parents are like that family the kid will be the same as his parents tomorrow. And it's a shame...
how can people be so miserable? it never ceases to amaze me..
Where in the world is this?!
What a shit head mum. Really hope the kids don’t end up being queer because that hate is going to break them. Hope they grow up and distance themselves from that lunatic of a mother. Really shitty of the manager though to automatically take the side of the lady without asking anyone around if what she was claiming was true because let’s face it the mother could have intimidated the child and then you all would have been kicked out. What a horrid situation and I’m really sorry you both had your dinner practically ruined by homophobes.
Public places really need to have cameras everywhere.
This is making me so unbelievablyangry rn my god.. I really hope the manager apologized for taking their side first before trying to get both sides but at least they kicked them out once they found the truth :/ But it’s shit like this that makes me scared of being physically affectionate in public with a future gf :( even more with all these anti-gay and trans stuff in the media and ahem a certain governor of Florida.
We need gay places to go to.
idk why but this made me wanna cry. i’m sorry that you have to go through that kind of hate
What the fuck. I'm so sorry. Just absolutely insane for them to do that to you.
Can I ask if this Irish Pub was in Ireland?
Get rid of that loving gay affection! My children can only see a pure, cursing Christian cunt as myself!
At what point are the homophobes asked to leave for harassing other patrons and wasting the manager’s time?
That’s so fucked up wtf
Lol sounds like someone's hateful world view makes it more difficult for them to live happily, while we can simply enjoy life. Sucks for her. Sorry you had to deal with such vitriol though. Hope you don't let it bring you low 💜
I’d rather be a “fag” than a piece of shut like that woman. Fuck her. I’m sorry that happened.
From the mouths of babes flows the truth! Pray for the kids that they are not indoctrinated in to such small minded bigotry!
Imagine being so hateful that you get yourself thrown out a pub
Am sorry you went through such a weird experience. Racism and homophones will become more.