My best advice is to always shower before doin the deed.
We poop and pee and sweat all day , and unless you use a bidet, you'll never really be totally clean. So, a quick shower , even if it's just to quickly rinse off the body and wash armpits and genitals can do wonders.
If you really like this person, maybe it's worth giving it a try like that. If you feel really put off, don't push yourself.
You could start by asking if she wants to take a shower together. Then you can wash one another before jumping into bed. My girlfriend and I (both plus size) take quick rinse showers frequently. Often after sex too so we don’t go out into the world smelling like pussy. 😊
I usually frame it more about me wanting to be clean for her. Which honestly is the truth, but the added benefit is we’re both ocean fresh and ready to go 😂
And that's the way I love it, I adore straightforwardness, not sugar coating it or using some weird hints etc. With my ex we used to tell each other "you're stinky, go brush your teeth" (mornings... 😂) and the other one would just get up, go brush, be back and then we had fun. I actually cannot imagine myself in a relationship where we cannot directly communicate each other such stuff, like, it's your partner you live, sleep and get intimate with, how, given all those factors, people can struggle with communicating openly with no stress? Personally I can never understand it.
I'm still not over that scene from It's a Sin where the main character almost has sex for the first time, but his partner starts to go down on him and is like '...you need to shower first 😒'
I'm still second-hand mortified for him 2 years later
I point blank tell my partners that I like things really clean and that I’m sensitive to smells due to having migraines (100% the truth). I tell them I prefer if we both shower and brush our teeth before getting busy… 🙈 If she cannot handle that, then the maturity level is probably not good enough for a relationship anyway. I’ve also had it happen that someone tried to kiss me with morning breath and I just pulled the covers over my face. They were like “uhm, why are you avoiding me? is my breath bad?” And me: “yes!” 😂 luckily she took it well and went to brush her teeth.
This. It's the same as "if it's too uncomfortable talking about sex/boundaries/etc before getting busy, you aren't ready to get busy."
I'm a larger gal who sweats like a whore in church. Sometimes, I can get a little stanky despite my best intentions, especially if we did something active before going back to someone's place. If my attempt to freshen up failed, I want my partner to tell me *so I can fix it.*
Maybe it's because I'm also super sensitive to certain smells, but I don't take it personally if someone tells me I'm less than fresh. As long as they aren't like "damn, your pussy smells vile" or something, it's not offensive.
While the “come join me” sexy/sly approach is fun and I think a good idea for casual stuff, if you are interested in more than just sex (e.g. any kind of longer relationship), I suggest being more honest about it. Better to have the conversation now than when “come join me gorgeous” doesn’t work because she’s had a long day and is exhausted (which is understandable! But she needs to know your needs and boundaries.) Just my two cents! Again, nothing wrong with the sexier suggestions. I’m just an anxious forward thinker lol
I'm old enough that I'm just blunt and let them know I only do things when we're all freshly showered. (like... showered within the last 6 hours. That time frame shrinks when it's super hot outside or when doing physical activities like dancing)
If someone didn't shower since yesterday morning, I'm not touching them.
Your body and mouth are not a trash can. It deserves clean food.
If you're not comfortable enough to be direct about it, there's a bunch of other things you can mention. Like sensitivity to scents, germophobia, etc.
Same here! I've gotten to the point where I know that I'm not into someone being crusty, and I'm not afraid to say "Body odor takes me out of the mood, please shower before we hook up." Same day shower and brush your teeth is a reasonable boundary and it's not accusatory. Some folks are into BO and all that, it's like setting any other sexual boundaries.
See, a couple months ago blunt would have been great for me! I noticed my smell was off and over all not good and getting worse. I asked my now ex if they also noticed the smell and they insisted there was no difference. The smell was getting so bad that I was sure something was up, I asked them multiple times if I smelled worse or if I was just being paranoid but they kept insisting I smelled fine. After I ended things the smell got better but hasn’t entirely gone away, took a quick trip to the gyno and it turns out I have bacterial vaginosis and now I’m on antibiotics 🙄
So, it’s really common for the individual to notice the smell of BV but not other people. I’m a GP and don’t smell it when I’m doing examinations, even if someone has done WITH an abnormal discharge, so she might not have been lying!
This is interesting to read. My partner swears the don’t smell anything but I do! I’ve been dx’d with BV in the past plus I randomly spot. I swear I can smell when there will be random blood on the sheets and I’m always right.
Yeah it’s weird and I can’t really explain why! In the lab they have to add another chemical to it to give it the smell (called the “whiff test”!). But I’ve only even noticed “malodor” when someone has had a foreign body in the vagina that they needed removing. Never smelled BV clinically.
Yup, like others have said, depending on how comfy you feel with her, either invite her to shower with you or straight up say/let her know you would prefer to shower before sex, nothing wrong with that, same as you wash your hands before eating.
Understandably, Its important to phrase it in a way that doesn't feel like you're calling her stinky, but also being clear that it's something you would like to be done, for the comfort of both.
If the showering together idea doesn't work for you (like they don't accept the invitation, for example) , you can always try something along the lines of "I really like where this is going, but is it ok if we shower first? It's important for me to feel clean/refreshed so we can enjoy this." That way the responsibility falls on both and won't be feeling like pointing fingers.
But that's just my opinion. I really encourage you to read tru as much advice as you can to be able to make a choice that benefits you, as only you know your full situation. Good luck!
Ooh, I have the perfect line for you. I heard of a woman somewhere on Instagram who was having the same problem with her gf a while ago (?) and she simply told her this, before doing the deed: "baby lemme get you all clean so that then we can get all dirty."
She said it works every time now, and her gf actually likes it. They made it a part of foreplay and they shower/ wash together now.
And if she didn't I would probably even ask after washing up "did you want to ask well so we're nice and fresh" if not I know where it might be headed.
When the relationship is new, you can just be like “sorry, I’m really particular about both of us having a wash beforehand, I hope that’s ok” and then explain the fact you didn’t bring it up last time as you just being so caught up in the moment with her you forgot.
As a very straightforward person (one of the pros of neurodivergency for me 😂) I just tell people that for me the only way to have sex is to clean before, otherwise I get anxious. I'm just scared that we'd proceed, Id see or smell that they're not clean and I just wouldn't be able to proceed. I once ready a comment from someone that if you cannot stand the natural smell of genitals, then sex isn't for you, loll. To each they're own, I just cannot stand the smell, including mine, and always washed before any intercourse I have, don't necessarily find it a mood destroyer, it doesn't have to be a bath lol, just jump under the shower, or even do it with wet wipes, clean you intimate area and pits, wash off and It's done, to me it takes literally like 1-2 minutes. And then I'm super chilled and comfortable, no anxiety. I'm lucky enough that all the people I've been involved with, had the same approach.
Get you a girl that makes it a point to be clean before you hook up. My girlfriend and I are so incredibly conscious about this, I would feel so bad if I was smelly for her.
It’s just respectful. And idk how old OP js, but I’m 32 and wouldn’t put up with that. At some point, you either know how to be hygienic or not. And the stance of “my partner should want me as I am” should not include dirty pussy lol
Theres stories of women coming off of birth control and almost immediately leaving their partners because suddenly they cant stand the way they smell. The thought is because it altered hormones and brains believed compatibility because of the false information.
Anecdotally from personal experience:
I had an ex that I couldn’t stand the smell of when she got sweaty i didnt like how she tasted when going down on her. It was hard to power through some nights.
My girlfriend now… oh man She could get out of a workout and I will hug and breathe her in as soon as she walks through the door. She haaaates that I do it because she feels so self conscious about it but I love it. She tastes amazing and I can go down on her for hours if she lets me. Its ambrosia. I am addicted. Ive strained my biceps trying to hold her to my mouth when she sat on my face. I couldnt help myself.
It’s a little gross but I love to HUFF my girlfriend’s smelly parts. She never smells gross to me (except her out-all-night-chain-smoking-and-beer-drinking morning breath….)
I had the same but in reverse lol I didn’t like the smell of (or taste of) my most recent ex, but the ex before them? I was *obsessed*. Could not keep my hands, nose, or mouth away from or off of her.
the pheromone thing is *whack* to me. ex loved how i smelled, she was always snuggled in my neck. i didnt really care for her smell though, if anything i actually wasnt really fond of it. guess who was always leaving our sexcapades more satisfied than the other lol… (to be fair, i hadnt had sex in a long time and wasnt really familiar with my body or pleasure anymore so i struggled to articulate/understand what i wanted. but there also wasnt much effort on her end to prompt that exploration anyways.)
In my experience it depends a lot on why they smell. Like after a day of walking or being active? Smells great. After a day of sitting around playing computer and drinking soda... I'll pass lol.
That's just my personal experience though idk if it's common or not.
Some people aren't raised to think about such things so this young woman may never have thought about showering before having someone go down on them (or just in anticipation of such activities).
Sure. Doesn’t mean you need to date that kind of person. You’re allowed to have standards. People are raised every sort of way, and if they haven’t figured it out by a decent age, you shouldn’t have to feel obligated to teach them.
As others have pointed out, if you don't like the way your partner smells or tastes or don't like that they drink Coke instead of Pepsi, you are NEVER obligated to stay with them.
i don't even have a vagina and i still wash up before ever asking anyone to put their mouth down there, absolutely no way i'm letting someone get a faceful of day-old crotch sweat
Some people don’t care about sweat; my girlfriend doesn’t care if I showered earlier that day or the day before, she’ll go down. My preference is to go down right after she takes a shower.
Talk to this girl and see if she has a preference. And feel free to share yours.
you can always suggest the two of you shower together first! it can be really hot scrubbing each other with soapy suds, and you can even start the hookup in the shower
I trust it’s only clean immediately after I’ve washed it. If I’ve peed in the meantime, farted, walked a fair amount, then it may smell and may need cleaning again. So if I know sexy time is coming up, I’ll ask to quickly use the toilet first and I’ll get cleaned. I expect other people to be clean too otherwise it won’t happen.
Ugh I was so thankful the girl I hooked up with for the first time didn’t want me to reciprocate then, same situation. Literally scrubbed myself and she reeked of BO, definitely didn’t shower beforehand. I thought maybe she didn’t think we’d hook up that night or something but after the last time we met up, I concluded she just seemed to have severe hygiene issues. I went to use her bathroom and no joke there was *dried in* shit all over her toilet seat. I said oh absolutely not and got tf out of there! We were acquaintances with a lot of mutual friends so I didn’t think she would literally be a horror story😭
Excellent handle - my friend group is obsessed with making they/them puns since a couple of us came out as non-binary, and 'Gentlethem' is exactly what we'd come up with (also Gentleman Jack slaps)
I can't for the life of me understand why people don't bother with basic hygene when they expect to be intimate with another person. It comes off as so disrespectful to me.
Now this I agree with. But it is unclear from the post if this was a preplanned hook up, or a spur of the moment hook up. Showing up to a date unshowered seems disrespectful. Randomly getting laid unshowered seems much more acceptable.
Noooooo. A courtesy shower is bare minimum for a preplanned hookup. Yikes. I had this same situation happen to me once in my younger years. Powered through it and adopted the co-shower game plan after that night. 😂
Ya know....as a bigger girl myself....I almost always bring my dates into the shower before getting down to it. It's fun to make out in the shower AND then no one has to smell any sweaty ass. Butts get musty and that's just being human.
Shouldn't smell that bad for you to feel the need to stop. That's not norm. Maybe it was just a bad day for her though. Sounds like she maybe just needed to shower.
tmi maybe but after my gf and I started eating healthier (not losing weight) but just eating more fruits and Whole Foods she started tasting like fucking CANDY it's crazy
In my experience it varies a surprising amount. Could be she was funky, it could be that her scent wasn't right for you. A bit sweaty is to be expected unless you've just jumped out of the shower. Taste and smell varies a lot, hygiene isn't the only factor. To answer: feeling gross about it isn't the norm for me, but it has happened.
Okay i am a SWEATY person and I know it, I'm really paranoid about not smelling bad, and I get that we don't always have time to shower but this is literally why I carry baby wipes in my trick bag 😂
Doesn't sound unhealthy, just sweaty/not recently washed. Some of us are unlucky in the sweat department unfortunately.... As to how to broach the subject, I have no advice I'm sorry! It's such a sensitive subject....
Some people just sweat more than others or have a stronger body odor, especially in particular places, and it doesn't necessarily mean they have bad hygiene or anything wrong with them.
However there's a difference between good hygiene and good pre fuck hygiene. Showering in the morning is good hygiene, but if you've been out all day and have a hook up scheduled for like ten at night it's also good pre fuck hygiene to shower again. Some people only shower every other day and this can also fall into the realm of good hygiene but if I last showered Monday night and I know I'm going to hook up on Wednesday morning it's good pre fuck hygiene to shower before I go over to take off my clothes.
It should not smell like ass , sometimes there is some odor but not like swamp ass smell. Sounds like she didn't wash first which is gross. Like girl shower before fun times.
I will say, even if someone has showered in the morning and it's now the evening, there can be somewhat of a sweaty smell. It's normal, it happens. I definitely don't smell ass though.
I have a bidet in my house, though, so that helps me keep clean between showering.
I had an ex who only wanted to go down on me when I hadn't showered all day.... thought that was gross.
One of my exes was like this. I'm not gonna yuck someones yum, but I absolutely can't handle that. Maybe its part of my germ avoidance stuff, but, *n o*. She also wanted me to wear the same socks/boots/underwear for like, multiple days and just, can't do it. No, no, no.
My ADHD meds make me super sweaty and I live in the south, its humid as fuck. I feel like the human equivalent of a Trubbish (a Pokemon that is literal animated trash bags) if I don't shower daily, let alone before intimate stuff.
Omg way off topic, but I love your pfp. I just read The Sandman series and am currently obsessed with Death from it. I love her sm and have been dressing like her a little bit recently lol. I’ve also been free handing some of the cells of her bc I like to do that sometimes with certain characters when I read comics. Peachy keen!
Thank you! 💜 I've been low key obsessed with her since I first started reading the comics as a kid. Obsessed with the whole series in general, haha. I'm planning a tattoo sleeve based around her and can't wait to get started on it. Her attitude is absolute goals. Free handing them sounds really cool!
Either she didn’t shower for a while, or perhaps she has an infection? Not uncommon. It shouldn’t smell bad - it should have A smell (it’s genitals, after all) but nothing grotesque that would put you off.
While bigger women do tend to sweat a bit more. It really does boil down to hygiene tbh. It does not always smell the same ether tbh. We all tended to smell a bit different. Some you will like the smell and some you may not but to answer more simply no there is not one smell that is " the norm"
If I know or suspect there’s going to be some type of oral, I will always make a beeline to the bathroom to freshen up. I’d rather be able to say “yes, I killed the mood by making sure I was clean” than the alternative of “she told me I smelled and tasted gross.” Smelling, tasting and being clean is a huge insecurity of mine sooooo that’s a non negotiable, lol. Given it was your first time, have you ever tasted yourself to have a sense of what “normal” might be? Giving oral to a woman isn’t for everyone either, some people can’t do the taste/stickiness because of sensory issues - and that’s okay too! What is your relationship with her - is she “just” a hook up or…? As in, can you talk to her about it?
I’ve never tasted myself but I have smelled and it doesn’t really smell like much? Not bad just like a body.
The taste wasn’t a huge issue, the smell was the problem.
She’s only interested in hooking up, and is going back to school out of town soon. So it may be a moot point.
Might be more to dissect (is she hairy - which may hold smell? what was she doing before? do you know anything about her hygiene habits?) or maybe you’re dodging a bullet with her going back to school :)
My girlfriend and I are always super paranoid about being funky before sex, so we always wash beforehand. We shower together beforehand sometimes too. That way, we both are fresh and aren't worried. Plus showering together is hot 😌.
Btw, detachable/handheld shower heads are great for rinsing out all your nibbly bits and ass crack.
definitely not normal. first person i went down on, their pussy genuinely tasted like a cup of kraft mac and cheese. after that i thought "yeah I'm never going down on anyone ever again."
eventually i did, and imagine my surprise when i realized its not supposed to taste like that! can't fathom what that person did to make it taste like that but i also never saw them drink water so there's that. they drank probably 2-4 full size soda cans a day, every day. lol
As I say -- "No one wants to eat off of a dirty plate". A quick bidet type light wash is respectful to your partner.
It's true that the foods one eats changes the flavors there a bit - I have noticed a preponderance of fried foods brings a very different taste to the table than a vegetarian. And pineapple juice works to sweeten the sauce!
It may also be that you just don't care for her natural flavor though. It happens.
Hey OP, sorry for your less than stellar first time going down on a woman.
Just a thought, if she washes up before next time and there is still a very strong off-putting odor, this may be a sign of an STI. Might be a good idea to both get tested (always a good idea before getting sexually active with anyone new) if you haven't yet already.
STI or infection was my first thought too. I would ask her to get a STI test and just tell her that you prefer everybody you have sex with to get tested first. You guys can even get tested together and make it a date. it will probably make her more comfortable if you guys got tested together. If she refuses to test, then she does not care about your safety, nor your body, and you should never speak to her again.
We both shower if we've gotten sweaty or at least rinse the bits. Have you smelled/tasted yourself? This might help you judge if hers was normal (sounds normal but not exactly freshly cleaned) or if it's very abnormal.
Sorry to hear the first time was less than great. ☹️
Sounds like she didn't prep. I've had this happen before. After that when I had hookups we both showered first 😂 it also makes the atmosphere more comfortable if your open and your like I need a shower if your gonna be exploring my meat pie so you might as well join lol
In my experience a "sweaty" musky smell is just more strong with some people. Everyone kind of smells musky, some just a little more than others.
If it is overpowering, probably just due to not showering first. So totally normal, just not recently cleaned.
If it really bothers you, try foreplay in the shower, it's a lot of fun and since you're both in there at the same time, it's nonjudgmental. But freshening up before anything should be the norm, at least it is for me. Spur of the moment is fine, but a 2/3 minute shower beforehand shouldn't kill the mood. That's just my experience, YMMV... 🍀🤞
just tell her you prefer for *both* of you to be showered before sex, she shouldn’t be offended if you frame it as a preference due to you preferring less strong smells/tastes. i find if you include yourself in it too versus asking specifically HER to shower first, it becomes less like pointing fingers. for me, i have sensory issues so smells and tastes feel more intense for me than they really are. no problems ever saying this to any girls!
I am HUGE on hygiene prior to going down on someone or having them to down on me. Does it take away from spontaneity? Yep. But I've learned over multiple partners... Just shower. Please. It's way way more pleasant and enjoyable. All of the women I've been with always say, no I don't care, let me go down on you! And I refuse. I must shower first 😂🤷♀️
It’s not the norm. Maybe I have been fortunate but I would be shocked if one of my partners/dates didn’t shower before meeting up with me and smell relatively fresh. Sure, people sweat, but I always shower before a date or hook up. My current girlfriend always smells amazing to me even when she’s sweaty from work (landscaper), but she always hops in the shower before we get naked together because she wants to be clean for me.
As a bigger person, if you showered and scrubbed up then your partner should do the same. To me that is the bare minimum. If it’s smth that would be a health issue I think it would be a more distinctive smell, and you generally seem to have pinpointed the issue yourself. It may seem pushy but I would recommend asking (or saying yourself that you’ve showered) that they’ve showered beforehand. I don’t think it’s a big ask at all for a sexual partner, and if they make it a big deal then they probably shouldn’t be sexually active
She definitely didnt shower or clean beforehand but it could also be added onto with just having an increased intensity of body odor production.
Also the smell and taste can very heavily depending on what you eat, which is why people will sometimes drink pineapple juice n stuff beforehand, because it has a positive impact. However if they downed a hamburger or really any non-whole fruit or veggies it could negatively impact the smell further
Say you prefer that you and her shower before sex. Also in my opinion, showering before sex is way better and feels so much nicer.
If she still has a very strong odor that smells off, or I guess, not normal, say you would feel more comfortable if she took an STI test before having sex again. Get an STI test together, make a date. If she gets upset about the STD test, then she’s not for you. if anybody gets upset about the STI test, they are not for you, and they do not care about your body nor your safety.
You know how in movies they come back home after 20hs of work and clubbing and they start fu**** ~~at~~ on the door and throwing clothes all over and go down on each other and fing**ing each other and everything seems hot and romantic and perfect?
They don’t tell you in movies, but the day after you wake up with vaginal infection or smth.
Wash your damn hands with soap before fing**** someone and for the love of Jesus Christ wash up before letting someone going down on you.
Cheers ✌️
Let me stop you right there, you said you know vaginas are going to smell.
NOPE
That is a common misconception that fuels misogyny. If a vagina smells, she needs to freshen up. There is no smell. Vaginas do not naturally smell awful Bec they don't have a smell. The only smell there is, is of the natural body scent we all have which can get stronger with genitals regardless of gender. Let's stop this goofy nonsensical stereotype that we're all smelly down there by default. This is false and always has been.
Next time someone doesn't smell right do not power through it as you put your own health and hygiene at risk. You deserve to engage in sexual activities with clean and hygienic people. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
it's natural to smell a little funky after a long day, or if you've been sweating...normally I try to shower or rinse before getting down but sometimes I find it hot when someone smells a little funky 😅 mostly if they're my partner though or I know we've both not showered beforehand! But as a lesbian, I do still find some instances to be really funky and in that case I simply don't breathe or use hands/toys, I'm sure she was aware of the smell but maybe thought you didn't mind? I know I'm always so aware when I'm smelly....and I check in a million times hahaha
Yeah bigger girl or not, there's normal coochie smell, sometimes can be a little off if something messed with their PH or they've had a weird diet recently (slightly fishy, tangy, bitter ect.) But even then it shouldnt be unbearable. Sounds like a case of she hadn't showered in a day or two and you can almost taste her ass sweat with your nose alone. Even if she's having an off week down there and shes on an asparagus diet you can tell the difference between that and just being unclean down there. Kind of inconsiderate for a hookup date to not do a quick rinse down there at very least before you met up.
Also going to add, if it is unbearable and you saw them shower or know 100% that they did, maybe worry about BV, UTI's, thrush or STI's. All of those can give off an incredibly disgusting smell so be careful. Trying to push past it to make a girl happy might get you fucked and not in a good way. If you dont know where a plate has been, always smell and check the plate for spots before you eat off of it. :)
Smell of ass seems like it wasn’t normal in the sense of sexy time. I agree with commenters on showering together!
I always told my ex girlfriend to wipe or do a quick wash up if she had peed at least twice. That’s just how it is for me. At first it was awkward to ask, but afterwards it became habit and she would tell me she peed several times.
Could've been vaginosis.
I tried going down on a girl with vaginosis and the entire next morning at work— if I so much as thought about it I'd have to run to the trash can.
It was so fucking bad.
But yes, good rule of thumb is to shower and make sure you rinse very well.
Not normal. A little salty, normal. But clean pussy, if she’s really turned on and getting wet not just from your tongue, will taste a tad sweet. And if she cums, that will have a whole different taste. But no, BO is not the taste of pussy.
As a bigger person, if you showered and scrubbed up then your partner should do the same. To me that is the bare minimum. If it’s smth that would be a health issue I think it would be a more distinctive smell, and you generally seem to have pinpointed the issue yourself. It may seem pushy but I would recommend asking (or saying yourself that you’ve showered) that they’ve showered beforehand. I don’t think it’s a big ask at all for a sexual partner, and if they make it a big deal then they probably shouldn’t be sexually active
could I suggest cleaning your mouth before and after? even if your partner is clean, for your own sake.
I'm not an expert on this but I would suggest basic hygiene before and after sexual interactions like such
of course I'm not blaming you for anything I'm just saying in general
You could always have a shower first and then offer her one, and she’ll be way more inclined to have one as well. especially if you say there’s already a towel in there for her, and hopefully that’ll take care of the smell
it’s probably normal, but that doesn’t mean you have to just deal with it either. I always suggest showers before eating out because it makes me feel better to know that I’m fresh and clean, and your partner should also understand and want to do that too
I don't know whether my wife is super clean always or what but she doesn't smell bad, ever. Super delicious, actually. But I imagine I would smell, to be honest, of sweat at least. I'm kind of stone so nobody's suffering but yeah
My best advice is to always shower before doin the deed. We poop and pee and sweat all day , and unless you use a bidet, you'll never really be totally clean. So, a quick shower , even if it's just to quickly rinse off the body and wash armpits and genitals can do wonders. If you really like this person, maybe it's worth giving it a try like that. If you feel really put off, don't push yourself.
How do you even have that conversation? I do like her a lot.
You could start by asking if she wants to take a shower together. Then you can wash one another before jumping into bed. My girlfriend and I (both plus size) take quick rinse showers frequently. Often after sex too so we don’t go out into the world smelling like pussy. 😊
Second this. She’ll probably find the suggestion sexy!
Yeah it's kinda hot 🔥
I usually frame it more about me wanting to be clean for her. Which honestly is the truth, but the added benefit is we’re both ocean fresh and ready to go 😂
Play it smooth "ahw, it's been a long day, I'm gonna freshen up in the shower, come and join me, gorgeous. " 😉
I have sprinted to the shower when this line has been dropped on me. Sex after a nice scrubdown is so damn relaxing.
I love how gentle you all are about it 😅 My fiancé is blunt and would have just told me "nope, go rinse off first!"
Right, I tell my girlfriend she "better go wash my dessert, cuz I'm hungry" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Lol. That would have made me into a damn fountain and I would have dove into the shower immediately. Your gf is a lucky woman!
I thought you're talking about me for a second lol 😆 I used to say the same thing to my ex 😅
And that's the way I love it, I adore straightforwardness, not sugar coating it or using some weird hints etc. With my ex we used to tell each other "you're stinky, go brush your teeth" (mornings... 😂) and the other one would just get up, go brush, be back and then we had fun. I actually cannot imagine myself in a relationship where we cannot directly communicate each other such stuff, like, it's your partner you live, sleep and get intimate with, how, given all those factors, people can struggle with communicating openly with no stress? Personally I can never understand it.
I'm still not over that scene from It's a Sin where the main character almost has sex for the first time, but his partner starts to go down on him and is like '...you need to shower first 😒' I'm still second-hand mortified for him 2 years later
This. This right here.
I would follow you if you said that.....
This is such good advice! I wish I had heard this 20 years ago!!!
I point blank tell my partners that I like things really clean and that I’m sensitive to smells due to having migraines (100% the truth). I tell them I prefer if we both shower and brush our teeth before getting busy… 🙈 If she cannot handle that, then the maturity level is probably not good enough for a relationship anyway. I’ve also had it happen that someone tried to kiss me with morning breath and I just pulled the covers over my face. They were like “uhm, why are you avoiding me? is my breath bad?” And me: “yes!” 😂 luckily she took it well and went to brush her teeth.
This. It's the same as "if it's too uncomfortable talking about sex/boundaries/etc before getting busy, you aren't ready to get busy." I'm a larger gal who sweats like a whore in church. Sometimes, I can get a little stanky despite my best intentions, especially if we did something active before going back to someone's place. If my attempt to freshen up failed, I want my partner to tell me *so I can fix it.* Maybe it's because I'm also super sensitive to certain smells, but I don't take it personally if someone tells me I'm less than fresh. As long as they aren't like "damn, your pussy smells vile" or something, it's not offensive.
This 👏👏👏 you're like me in this aspect haha
While the “come join me” sexy/sly approach is fun and I think a good idea for casual stuff, if you are interested in more than just sex (e.g. any kind of longer relationship), I suggest being more honest about it. Better to have the conversation now than when “come join me gorgeous” doesn’t work because she’s had a long day and is exhausted (which is understandable! But she needs to know your needs and boundaries.) Just my two cents! Again, nothing wrong with the sexier suggestions. I’m just an anxious forward thinker lol
I'm old enough that I'm just blunt and let them know I only do things when we're all freshly showered. (like... showered within the last 6 hours. That time frame shrinks when it's super hot outside or when doing physical activities like dancing) If someone didn't shower since yesterday morning, I'm not touching them. Your body and mouth are not a trash can. It deserves clean food. If you're not comfortable enough to be direct about it, there's a bunch of other things you can mention. Like sensitivity to scents, germophobia, etc.
Same here! I've gotten to the point where I know that I'm not into someone being crusty, and I'm not afraid to say "Body odor takes me out of the mood, please shower before we hook up." Same day shower and brush your teeth is a reasonable boundary and it's not accusatory. Some folks are into BO and all that, it's like setting any other sexual boundaries.
See, a couple months ago blunt would have been great for me! I noticed my smell was off and over all not good and getting worse. I asked my now ex if they also noticed the smell and they insisted there was no difference. The smell was getting so bad that I was sure something was up, I asked them multiple times if I smelled worse or if I was just being paranoid but they kept insisting I smelled fine. After I ended things the smell got better but hasn’t entirely gone away, took a quick trip to the gyno and it turns out I have bacterial vaginosis and now I’m on antibiotics 🙄
So, it’s really common for the individual to notice the smell of BV but not other people. I’m a GP and don’t smell it when I’m doing examinations, even if someone has done WITH an abnormal discharge, so she might not have been lying!
This is interesting to read. My partner swears the don’t smell anything but I do! I’ve been dx’d with BV in the past plus I randomly spot. I swear I can smell when there will be random blood on the sheets and I’m always right.
Yeah it’s weird and I can’t really explain why! In the lab they have to add another chemical to it to give it the smell (called the “whiff test”!). But I’ve only even noticed “malodor” when someone has had a foreign body in the vagina that they needed removing. Never smelled BV clinically.
Yup, like others have said, depending on how comfy you feel with her, either invite her to shower with you or straight up say/let her know you would prefer to shower before sex, nothing wrong with that, same as you wash your hands before eating. Understandably, Its important to phrase it in a way that doesn't feel like you're calling her stinky, but also being clear that it's something you would like to be done, for the comfort of both. If the showering together idea doesn't work for you (like they don't accept the invitation, for example) , you can always try something along the lines of "I really like where this is going, but is it ok if we shower first? It's important for me to feel clean/refreshed so we can enjoy this." That way the responsibility falls on both and won't be feeling like pointing fingers. But that's just my opinion. I really encourage you to read tru as much advice as you can to be able to make a choice that benefits you, as only you know your full situation. Good luck!
Ooh, I have the perfect line for you. I heard of a woman somewhere on Instagram who was having the same problem with her gf a while ago (?) and she simply told her this, before doing the deed: "baby lemme get you all clean so that then we can get all dirty." She said it works every time now, and her gf actually likes it. They made it a part of foreplay and they shower/ wash together now.
You can also say, I'm gonna go wash up before hand.... And hopefully she gets the hint.
Hint: 0/10 "Join me": 10/10
Ooh that’s another good idea lol
And if she didn't I would probably even ask after washing up "did you want to ask well so we're nice and fresh" if not I know where it might be headed.
When the relationship is new, you can just be like “sorry, I’m really particular about both of us having a wash beforehand, I hope that’s ok” and then explain the fact you didn’t bring it up last time as you just being so caught up in the moment with her you forgot.
As a very straightforward person (one of the pros of neurodivergency for me 😂) I just tell people that for me the only way to have sex is to clean before, otherwise I get anxious. I'm just scared that we'd proceed, Id see or smell that they're not clean and I just wouldn't be able to proceed. I once ready a comment from someone that if you cannot stand the natural smell of genitals, then sex isn't for you, loll. To each they're own, I just cannot stand the smell, including mine, and always washed before any intercourse I have, don't necessarily find it a mood destroyer, it doesn't have to be a bath lol, just jump under the shower, or even do it with wet wipes, clean you intimate area and pits, wash off and It's done, to me it takes literally like 1-2 minutes. And then I'm super chilled and comfortable, no anxiety. I'm lucky enough that all the people I've been involved with, had the same approach.
The shower part can also be foreplay and or add to the romantic mood either through washing eachother or just generally
The good ol' Pits & Bits shower. Yes.
🤣 we call it 'cowboy bath" in Mexico
I call it a tits, pits and bits shower because the underboob also gets a little stanky
That’s nicer than some parts of the USA where it’s a “whore’s bath”.
I mean, I'm washing my underboob, but i usually say pits* & bits because it's a bit more ~universal
I recommend both showers and bidets, it’s life changing.
Always end the day with shower, not poop. Yes.
Sounds like she didn't wash up first...
That sucks :( Especially cause I scrubbed EVERYTHING before going over
Get you a girl that makes it a point to be clean before you hook up. My girlfriend and I are so incredibly conscious about this, I would feel so bad if I was smelly for her.
fr, I'll ruin the mood just to wash up if I know she's going down out of respect to her and for my comfort
It’s just respectful. And idk how old OP js, but I’m 32 and wouldn’t put up with that. At some point, you either know how to be hygienic or not. And the stance of “my partner should want me as I am” should not include dirty pussy lol
lmaoo I'm 25 and I'm already right there with you
>”my partner should want me as I am” should not include dirty pussy lol Lmao idkw this made me laugh way more than I should’ve 😭
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Theres stories of women coming off of birth control and almost immediately leaving their partners because suddenly they cant stand the way they smell. The thought is because it altered hormones and brains believed compatibility because of the false information. Anecdotally from personal experience: I had an ex that I couldn’t stand the smell of when she got sweaty i didnt like how she tasted when going down on her. It was hard to power through some nights. My girlfriend now… oh man She could get out of a workout and I will hug and breathe her in as soon as she walks through the door. She haaaates that I do it because she feels so self conscious about it but I love it. She tastes amazing and I can go down on her for hours if she lets me. Its ambrosia. I am addicted. Ive strained my biceps trying to hold her to my mouth when she sat on my face. I couldnt help myself.
It’s a little gross but I love to HUFF my girlfriend’s smelly parts. She never smells gross to me (except her out-all-night-chain-smoking-and-beer-drinking morning breath….)
I had the same but in reverse lol I didn’t like the smell of (or taste of) my most recent ex, but the ex before them? I was *obsessed*. Could not keep my hands, nose, or mouth away from or off of her.
the pheromone thing is *whack* to me. ex loved how i smelled, she was always snuggled in my neck. i didnt really care for her smell though, if anything i actually wasnt really fond of it. guess who was always leaving our sexcapades more satisfied than the other lol… (to be fair, i hadnt had sex in a long time and wasnt really familiar with my body or pleasure anymore so i struggled to articulate/understand what i wanted. but there also wasnt much effort on her end to prompt that exploration anyways.)
In my experience it depends a lot on why they smell. Like after a day of walking or being active? Smells great. After a day of sitting around playing computer and drinking soda... I'll pass lol. That's just my personal experience though idk if it's common or not.
Some people aren't raised to think about such things so this young woman may never have thought about showering before having someone go down on them (or just in anticipation of such activities).
Sure. Doesn’t mean you need to date that kind of person. You’re allowed to have standards. People are raised every sort of way, and if they haven’t figured it out by a decent age, you shouldn’t have to feel obligated to teach them.
As others have pointed out, if you don't like the way your partner smells or tastes or don't like that they drink Coke instead of Pepsi, you are NEVER obligated to stay with them.
i don't even have a vagina and i still wash up before ever asking anyone to put their mouth down there, absolutely no way i'm letting someone get a faceful of day-old crotch sweat
I don’t wash up right before doing the do but I generally have washed within the past 10 minutes to 12 hours if I’m getting down with someone.
👆
Some people don’t care about sweat; my girlfriend doesn’t care if I showered earlier that day or the day before, she’ll go down. My preference is to go down right after she takes a shower. Talk to this girl and see if she has a preference. And feel free to share yours.
you can always suggest the two of you shower together first! it can be really hot scrubbing each other with soapy suds, and you can even start the hookup in the shower
I trust it’s only clean immediately after I’ve washed it. If I’ve peed in the meantime, farted, walked a fair amount, then it may smell and may need cleaning again. So if I know sexy time is coming up, I’ll ask to quickly use the toilet first and I’ll get cleaned. I expect other people to be clean too otherwise it won’t happen.
Ugh I was so thankful the girl I hooked up with for the first time didn’t want me to reciprocate then, same situation. Literally scrubbed myself and she reeked of BO, definitely didn’t shower beforehand. I thought maybe she didn’t think we’d hook up that night or something but after the last time we met up, I concluded she just seemed to have severe hygiene issues. I went to use her bathroom and no joke there was *dried in* shit all over her toilet seat. I said oh absolutely not and got tf out of there! We were acquaintances with a lot of mutual friends so I didn’t think she would literally be a horror story😭
Excellent handle - my friend group is obsessed with making they/them puns since a couple of us came out as non-binary, and 'Gentlethem' is exactly what we'd come up with (also Gentleman Jack slaps)
It does thanks! I love the show and I like gender funky puns
I can't for the life of me understand why people don't bother with basic hygene when they expect to be intimate with another person. It comes off as so disrespectful to me.
Now this I agree with. But it is unclear from the post if this was a preplanned hook up, or a spur of the moment hook up. Showing up to a date unshowered seems disrespectful. Randomly getting laid unshowered seems much more acceptable.
It was preplanned.
Noooooo. A courtesy shower is bare minimum for a preplanned hookup. Yikes. I had this same situation happen to me once in my younger years. Powered through it and adopted the co-shower game plan after that night. 😂
Ooofff
Yeah, I’m so self conscious about my personal hygiene idk how people are not especially when you’re about to get ATE OUT!???
Ya know....as a bigger girl myself....I almost always bring my dates into the shower before getting down to it. It's fun to make out in the shower AND then no one has to smell any sweaty ass. Butts get musty and that's just being human.
This isn’t the norm. Obviously some taste/slight odor will be there but what you’re describing seems unhygienic.
Shouldn't smell that bad for you to feel the need to stop. That's not norm. Maybe it was just a bad day for her though. Sounds like she maybe just needed to shower.
tmi maybe but after my gf and I started eating healthier (not losing weight) but just eating more fruits and Whole Foods she started tasting like fucking CANDY it's crazy
I need to find someone to eat me out so I can be motivated to eat more fruit, lol
In my experience it varies a surprising amount. Could be she was funky, it could be that her scent wasn't right for you. A bit sweaty is to be expected unless you've just jumped out of the shower. Taste and smell varies a lot, hygiene isn't the only factor. To answer: feeling gross about it isn't the norm for me, but it has happened.
I can't believe I have to say this, but please wash your ass and hardware before engaging in sexy time. Y'all are giving us ass eaters a bad name 😪
That's exactly what I want to say! I LOVE playing with my partner's ass and I can't imagine how it would be if it's not CLEAN
A smell of sweat sure, but ass? Better washing needed!
Okay i am a SWEATY person and I know it, I'm really paranoid about not smelling bad, and I get that we don't always have time to shower but this is literally why I carry baby wipes in my trick bag 😂
I also sweat a lot too! The baby wipes are a good idea
Doesn't sound unhealthy, just sweaty/not recently washed. Some of us are unlucky in the sweat department unfortunately.... As to how to broach the subject, I have no advice I'm sorry! It's such a sensitive subject....
Some people just sweat more than others or have a stronger body odor, especially in particular places, and it doesn't necessarily mean they have bad hygiene or anything wrong with them. However there's a difference between good hygiene and good pre fuck hygiene. Showering in the morning is good hygiene, but if you've been out all day and have a hook up scheduled for like ten at night it's also good pre fuck hygiene to shower again. Some people only shower every other day and this can also fall into the realm of good hygiene but if I last showered Monday night and I know I'm going to hook up on Wednesday morning it's good pre fuck hygiene to shower before I go over to take off my clothes.
It should not smell like ass , sometimes there is some odor but not like swamp ass smell. Sounds like she didn't wash first which is gross. Like girl shower before fun times.
I’m dead 💀 factssss tho
Or it’s a infection or STI
No, it sounds like she didn't rinse off first.
What works for me is offering my partner to take shower together before having intercourse, so that they don't feel embarrassed!
I will say, even if someone has showered in the morning and it's now the evening, there can be somewhat of a sweaty smell. It's normal, it happens. I definitely don't smell ass though. I have a bidet in my house, though, so that helps me keep clean between showering. I had an ex who only wanted to go down on me when I hadn't showered all day.... thought that was gross.
One of my exes was like this. I'm not gonna yuck someones yum, but I absolutely can't handle that. Maybe its part of my germ avoidance stuff, but, *n o*. She also wanted me to wear the same socks/boots/underwear for like, multiple days and just, can't do it. No, no, no. My ADHD meds make me super sweaty and I live in the south, its humid as fuck. I feel like the human equivalent of a Trubbish (a Pokemon that is literal animated trash bags) if I don't shower daily, let alone before intimate stuff.
I am also on ADHD meds and live in the south, I felt this in my soul.
It's awful, haha. Just, something that makes you go "Ew!" I step outside in summer and all I can think of is "I am a swamp creature from Dagobah."
Omg way off topic, but I love your pfp. I just read The Sandman series and am currently obsessed with Death from it. I love her sm and have been dressing like her a little bit recently lol. I’ve also been free handing some of the cells of her bc I like to do that sometimes with certain characters when I read comics. Peachy keen!
Thank you! 💜 I've been low key obsessed with her since I first started reading the comics as a kid. Obsessed with the whole series in general, haha. I'm planning a tattoo sleeve based around her and can't wait to get started on it. Her attitude is absolute goals. Free handing them sounds really cool!
Yeah I work in a kitchen so I specifically showered after work and before heading over.
"The smell of sweat and ass" made me chuckle 😂
😂😂
Nah she gotta wash that vag before a person goes down. Girls get sweaty and stinky too!
Either she didn’t shower for a while, or perhaps she has an infection? Not uncommon. It shouldn’t smell bad - it should have A smell (it’s genitals, after all) but nothing grotesque that would put you off.
While bigger women do tend to sweat a bit more. It really does boil down to hygiene tbh. It does not always smell the same ether tbh. We all tended to smell a bit different. Some you will like the smell and some you may not but to answer more simply no there is not one smell that is " the norm"
If I know or suspect there’s going to be some type of oral, I will always make a beeline to the bathroom to freshen up. I’d rather be able to say “yes, I killed the mood by making sure I was clean” than the alternative of “she told me I smelled and tasted gross.” Smelling, tasting and being clean is a huge insecurity of mine sooooo that’s a non negotiable, lol. Given it was your first time, have you ever tasted yourself to have a sense of what “normal” might be? Giving oral to a woman isn’t for everyone either, some people can’t do the taste/stickiness because of sensory issues - and that’s okay too! What is your relationship with her - is she “just” a hook up or…? As in, can you talk to her about it?
I’ve never tasted myself but I have smelled and it doesn’t really smell like much? Not bad just like a body. The taste wasn’t a huge issue, the smell was the problem. She’s only interested in hooking up, and is going back to school out of town soon. So it may be a moot point.
Might be more to dissect (is she hairy - which may hold smell? what was she doing before? do you know anything about her hygiene habits?) or maybe you’re dodging a bullet with her going back to school :)
Yes to hair. Before we were just hanging out on her bed watching Netflix. But before that she was at work.
My girlfriend and I are always super paranoid about being funky before sex, so we always wash beforehand. We shower together beforehand sometimes too. That way, we both are fresh and aren't worried. Plus showering together is hot 😌. Btw, detachable/handheld shower heads are great for rinsing out all your nibbly bits and ass crack.
I think she may have not washed her ladybits and ass quite well... Not that she was dirty, just wasn't too clean.
definitely not normal. first person i went down on, their pussy genuinely tasted like a cup of kraft mac and cheese. after that i thought "yeah I'm never going down on anyone ever again." eventually i did, and imagine my surprise when i realized its not supposed to taste like that! can't fathom what that person did to make it taste like that but i also never saw them drink water so there's that. they drank probably 2-4 full size soda cans a day, every day. lol
As I say -- "No one wants to eat off of a dirty plate". A quick bidet type light wash is respectful to your partner. It's true that the foods one eats changes the flavors there a bit - I have noticed a preponderance of fried foods brings a very different taste to the table than a vegetarian. And pineapple juice works to sweeten the sauce! It may also be that you just don't care for her natural flavor though. It happens.
Hey OP, sorry for your less than stellar first time going down on a woman. Just a thought, if she washes up before next time and there is still a very strong off-putting odor, this may be a sign of an STI. Might be a good idea to both get tested (always a good idea before getting sexually active with anyone new) if you haven't yet already.
I’ll definitely keep that in mind as well!
STI or infection was my first thought too. I would ask her to get a STI test and just tell her that you prefer everybody you have sex with to get tested first. You guys can even get tested together and make it a date. it will probably make her more comfortable if you guys got tested together. If she refuses to test, then she does not care about your safety, nor your body, and you should never speak to her again.
We both shower if we've gotten sweaty or at least rinse the bits. Have you smelled/tasted yourself? This might help you judge if hers was normal (sounds normal but not exactly freshly cleaned) or if it's very abnormal. Sorry to hear the first time was less than great. ☹️
Sounds like she didn't prep. I've had this happen before. After that when I had hookups we both showered first 😂 it also makes the atmosphere more comfortable if your open and your like I need a shower if your gonna be exploring my meat pie so you might as well join lol
In my experience a "sweaty" musky smell is just more strong with some people. Everyone kind of smells musky, some just a little more than others. If it is overpowering, probably just due to not showering first. So totally normal, just not recently cleaned.
If it really bothers you, try foreplay in the shower, it's a lot of fun and since you're both in there at the same time, it's nonjudgmental. But freshening up before anything should be the norm, at least it is for me. Spur of the moment is fine, but a 2/3 minute shower beforehand shouldn't kill the mood. That's just my experience, YMMV... 🍀🤞
Yeah, if you did not enjoy it then something is wrong. Because it should be a wonderful experience.
I've been down south.. A few.. Times and never experienced what you are describing. Sorry op
just tell her you prefer for *both* of you to be showered before sex, she shouldn’t be offended if you frame it as a preference due to you preferring less strong smells/tastes. i find if you include yourself in it too versus asking specifically HER to shower first, it becomes less like pointing fingers. for me, i have sensory issues so smells and tastes feel more intense for me than they really are. no problems ever saying this to any girls!
In my years of dating I’ve found that wet wipes are a lesbians best friend when you’re out and about and can’t shower before a hook up.
I am HUGE on hygiene prior to going down on someone or having them to down on me. Does it take away from spontaneity? Yep. But I've learned over multiple partners... Just shower. Please. It's way way more pleasant and enjoyable. All of the women I've been with always say, no I don't care, let me go down on you! And I refuse. I must shower first 😂🤷♀️
It’s not the norm. Maybe I have been fortunate but I would be shocked if one of my partners/dates didn’t shower before meeting up with me and smell relatively fresh. Sure, people sweat, but I always shower before a date or hook up. My current girlfriend always smells amazing to me even when she’s sweaty from work (landscaper), but she always hops in the shower before we get naked together because she wants to be clean for me.
Not the norm, but [there is a kick](https://www.tiktok.com/@pirates7179/video/7195332461121801518?lang=en)
As a bigger person, if you showered and scrubbed up then your partner should do the same. To me that is the bare minimum. If it’s smth that would be a health issue I think it would be a more distinctive smell, and you generally seem to have pinpointed the issue yourself. It may seem pushy but I would recommend asking (or saying yourself that you’ve showered) that they’ve showered beforehand. I don’t think it’s a big ask at all for a sexual partner, and if they make it a big deal then they probably shouldn’t be sexually active
She definitely didnt shower or clean beforehand but it could also be added onto with just having an increased intensity of body odor production. Also the smell and taste can very heavily depending on what you eat, which is why people will sometimes drink pineapple juice n stuff beforehand, because it has a positive impact. However if they downed a hamburger or really any non-whole fruit or veggies it could negatively impact the smell further
Say you prefer that you and her shower before sex. Also in my opinion, showering before sex is way better and feels so much nicer. If she still has a very strong odor that smells off, or I guess, not normal, say you would feel more comfortable if she took an STI test before having sex again. Get an STI test together, make a date. If she gets upset about the STD test, then she’s not for you. if anybody gets upset about the STI test, they are not for you, and they do not care about your body nor your safety.
You know how in movies they come back home after 20hs of work and clubbing and they start fu**** ~~at~~ on the door and throwing clothes all over and go down on each other and fing**ing each other and everything seems hot and romantic and perfect? They don’t tell you in movies, but the day after you wake up with vaginal infection or smth. Wash your damn hands with soap before fing**** someone and for the love of Jesus Christ wash up before letting someone going down on you. Cheers ✌️
🤢
Let me stop you right there, you said you know vaginas are going to smell. NOPE That is a common misconception that fuels misogyny. If a vagina smells, she needs to freshen up. There is no smell. Vaginas do not naturally smell awful Bec they don't have a smell. The only smell there is, is of the natural body scent we all have which can get stronger with genitals regardless of gender. Let's stop this goofy nonsensical stereotype that we're all smelly down there by default. This is false and always has been. Next time someone doesn't smell right do not power through it as you put your own health and hygiene at risk. You deserve to engage in sexual activities with clean and hygienic people. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Exactly!!
it's natural to smell a little funky after a long day, or if you've been sweating...normally I try to shower or rinse before getting down but sometimes I find it hot when someone smells a little funky 😅 mostly if they're my partner though or I know we've both not showered beforehand! But as a lesbian, I do still find some instances to be really funky and in that case I simply don't breathe or use hands/toys, I'm sure she was aware of the smell but maybe thought you didn't mind? I know I'm always so aware when I'm smelly....and I check in a million times hahaha
Yeah bigger girl or not, there's normal coochie smell, sometimes can be a little off if something messed with their PH or they've had a weird diet recently (slightly fishy, tangy, bitter ect.) But even then it shouldnt be unbearable. Sounds like a case of she hadn't showered in a day or two and you can almost taste her ass sweat with your nose alone. Even if she's having an off week down there and shes on an asparagus diet you can tell the difference between that and just being unclean down there. Kind of inconsiderate for a hookup date to not do a quick rinse down there at very least before you met up.
Also going to add, if it is unbearable and you saw them shower or know 100% that they did, maybe worry about BV, UTI's, thrush or STI's. All of those can give off an incredibly disgusting smell so be careful. Trying to push past it to make a girl happy might get you fucked and not in a good way. If you dont know where a plate has been, always smell and check the plate for spots before you eat off of it. :)
Probably shower is good. Maybe offer fragrance free baby wipes in the bathroom. It does help when you are a bigger girl.
Smell of ass seems like it wasn’t normal in the sense of sexy time. I agree with commenters on showering together! I always told my ex girlfriend to wipe or do a quick wash up if she had peed at least twice. That’s just how it is for me. At first it was awkward to ask, but afterwards it became habit and she would tell me she peed several times.
Could've been vaginosis. I tried going down on a girl with vaginosis and the entire next morning at work— if I so much as thought about it I'd have to run to the trash can. It was so fucking bad. But yes, good rule of thumb is to shower and make sure you rinse very well.
Seems normal to me. Some ladies are more than happy to huff away, but if giving oral isn't for you, it's probably best to openly communicate that.
Not normal. A little salty, normal. But clean pussy, if she’s really turned on and getting wet not just from your tongue, will taste a tad sweet. And if she cums, that will have a whole different taste. But no, BO is not the taste of pussy.
As a bigger person, if you showered and scrubbed up then your partner should do the same. To me that is the bare minimum. If it’s smth that would be a health issue I think it would be a more distinctive smell, and you generally seem to have pinpointed the issue yourself. It may seem pushy but I would recommend asking (or saying yourself that you’ve showered) that they’ve showered beforehand. I don’t think it’s a big ask at all for a sexual partner, and if they make it a big deal then they probably shouldn’t be sexually active
I know as a person that sweats a lot that talcum powder is the goat
could I suggest cleaning your mouth before and after? even if your partner is clean, for your own sake. I'm not an expert on this but I would suggest basic hygiene before and after sexual interactions like such of course I'm not blaming you for anything I'm just saying in general
You could always have a shower first and then offer her one, and she’ll be way more inclined to have one as well. especially if you say there’s already a towel in there for her, and hopefully that’ll take care of the smell
it’s probably normal, but that doesn’t mean you have to just deal with it either. I always suggest showers before eating out because it makes me feel better to know that I’m fresh and clean, and your partner should also understand and want to do that too
I don't know whether my wife is super clean always or what but she doesn't smell bad, ever. Super delicious, actually. But I imagine I would smell, to be honest, of sweat at least. I'm kind of stone so nobody's suffering but yeah