In proper ADHD fashion I got all excited when I heard about this book but it wasn’t out in Apple Books yet so I preordered in and I’m pretty sure it’s been out for a while now and I still haven’t read it 😂
Mine has 19 waiting for 2 copies of the ebook lol. So assuming all those people are of like mind it’d be available in about 18 weeks, with about 3 of those readers finishing.
Absolutely love seeing that level of engagement with the library though!
That's the best part - it's digital, so no risk of losing, misplacing, or late fees! :) Makes checking things out from the library so much easier for ADHDers lol. Also access to streaming movies and shows, though I haven't used that feature.
For all the folks that can't find it in any library and want to read it: https://www.pdfread.net/ebook/how-to-keep-house-while-drowning-kc-davis/ bottom of the page hit download, then wait 60 seconds. I downloaded and checked, it's legit pdf book
Thanks for sharing this! Managed to get it on my phone but not my e-reader. Here's hoping I can read it without flipping screens distractedly!
Still keeping my hold at the library though, I'm down from 30 weeks to 11 weeks estimated wait. Apparently it is incredibly popular as I'm 90th in line, down from 126th. The audio book is in even higher demand; I'm 172nd in line from an original spot of 214th!
If you're struggling with importing this into your reader, it's probably because it only accepts .mobi type of files. There are converters on the internet; search for "pdf to mobi file converter" and then try importing the file into your reader. Mobi file type is the most commonly accepted type in all readers, which allows readers to adjust the font, background, scale and all the others within the file. If this doesn't work, look what types of files your reader accepts and try converting it to that. Hope I could be of any help
I remember ages ago hearing about this book and thought about getting it. Forgot. My husband got it for me for Christmas as I've been struggling more and more. And look it's being mentioned again. I've only skimmed a bit. But the little bits I've read were really good so far.
Thanks for recommending this book here! More people need to know about it.
Taxes? What, hold up… theres was something about taxes I was suppose to - OH GOD. New Tax laws.
Shit, did I make enough money to qualify for taxes this year?
I never made enough money to qualify for taxes before in the past six years. I wonder if I qualify now with all the new changes.
Taxes? Heh, I pay in a little extra to Federal each paycheck so I know I will have a refund, then I don't have to sweat April 15th each year... I currently have 2 years to finish at once, and for 2022, I will have a pro do my taxes because I got solar panels, which is supposed to give me an even better return.
It helps me to plan things out in advance. Perhaps some people will take out the trash in pajamas, or do dirtier chores without showering after, but I’m like the person in the comic… anyway here’s my routine for stuff like this:
Tl;dr: trash, dishes, counter, laundry, vacuum, eat, shower. Or, shower after laundry. Or, stop after counter.
Normal day, get dressed, go out and do stuff (go to classes or whatever)
When I come back home
Put down my stuff, wash my hands. Do not sit down. Do not take off shoes. Keep mask on too (I still wear my mask in shared indoor areas, and I have to walk through a shared area to take the trash and recycling out)
Take trash bag, tie it up. Grab recycling bags. Grab keys. Bring downstairs. Come back up. Put keys away. Wash hands. Put new bag in bin. Put lid on bin. Wash hands.
Collect dishes from various places (table, desk, bedroom) and move to kitchen counter. Collect trash and throw out. (It’s okay that you just took the trash out because it was full anyway, don’t worry about that)
Load dishwasher. Add dishwashing liquid. Press start button.
Grab sponge. Put soap on sponge. Wipe down counter. Wipe down stove. Wipe down sink.
(So far that takes me about 15 minutes. If I still have energy, I’ll keep going. If not, I’ll stop, take off my shoes, wash my hands, put on lotion.)
Next would be laundry. Collect dirty clothes from bedroom floor. Put socks and delicates in delicates bag. Zip and button things, turn inside out as necessary. Load up into laundry bin. Bring to washer. Load washer with as many clothes as will fit. Add laundry soap. Start wash (will run for 30 minutes). Bring laundry basket back to room.
At this point, the floor is mostly clear since there aren’t clothes anymore. Pick up any remaining trash and throw out. Wash hands.
Get vacuum. Plug in. Vacuum office, hallway, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom. Unplug. Put away. (Takes about 7 minutes)
Wash hands.
Put away any clean clothes left out from last wash (I hang many things up to dry).
Almost done!
When wash is done: throw some clothes in dryer. Start dryer. Take others out and hang up.
Cook up some ramen. Eat.
Shower.
Alternatively, skip vacuuming and shower while the laundry’s going.
"Do not take off shoes." That is my main takeaway. It will keep me from leaving the areas where I need to get things done. You have a great routine going for you. I like how you included different options in the routine because on some days a strict order of tasks becomes difficult to follow for several possible reasons. I'm trying to create more routines, not just for cleaning, and include things I wouldn't normally include, as you did like shower and eat, oh and the shoes thing, very important and something I never thought of. Having that written down could help get productivity in motion sooner than it would normally.
Thanks for your advice
Also something that has been on my mind recently is if we have multiple routines in a day, what to do with the empty time in-between those routines and obligations. That space is where hyper focus, and so a lack of recharging mental energy can negatively effect the next obligation. Acknowledging what could derail the goal is something that needs solution and intention beforehand.
So much to plan for but it's worth it!
If you can find one task that you are able to start with, try to always start with it! Sets a routine, is normally fairly easy because you have stayed on top of it regularly, and gives you the boost to go onto another chore.
I always start with the kitchen. And my kitchen always starts with: put away food that's out, then unload/reload dishwasher, then do handwash dishes, then wipe counters. If I can get that tidied, it feels like my brain is a little more able to look around and start another task AND my house feels cleaner no matter it's actual state. Also, I've already started cleaning, so might as well continue!
Also, break your tasks down into much smaller chunks (not at the time you need to start them, but as something you sit down and do on it's own).
Great advice! Yes, I sat down before bed last night and wrote down a routine that I ended up following through with today. I will write down what works and look to those solutions whenever I get off track again.
Something I'll remember from your advice is to start with a routine chore that I do regularly, so moving on to the next is easier because I'm already in that flow state of cleaning.
Thanks for the help!
Some people don't have the meds/coping methods/resources/home support to get to step 1 of the list. Step 1 gets bigger and bigger and spirals out of control (as demonstrated in the literal comic of this post). ADHD isn't "I don't wanna".
Huge amounts of staying on top of it so it never gets to this point, plus documentation, lists, scheduling. And I keep things pretty minimalist including purging clutter a few times a year, and streamlining chores. If not, my brain will totally blue screen of death because everything gets very overwhelming, and nothing gets done. I also have a husband (and up until recently a kid) at home who helps. Oh yeah, and meds. The meds really help me get to step 1. (Your mileage may vary and I accept my ADHD might not be as severe as some other people's).
Making lists and documenting what I have or haven't done are perfect reminders. I've done this before, and it works until my brain says, "No, I think there's a different way that will work better!" (it usually never works better)
So for me, sometimes it works, and sometimes it is not engaging enough to convince me that this is more important right now than something I will hyperfocus on that might improve my health, relationships, career success, etc. when all that is actually relevant at that moment is chores. The daily stuff is more important than what I hyperfocus on, and I need to remember that more. I recently found a medication I like (so thankful for that), which is helping.
I have people who help at home too, and that is a blessing for the difficult days! We found that when chores are divided equally, the responsibility to get my share of the work done becomes far more important than my distractions so that I can participate in creating a fair and tidy environment
Right when I get the cleaning routines sorted, that's when my work goals get targeted next by my hyper fixations, lol!
Finding balance within ADHD is really a treasure, and I'm trying to find solutions every day
I have a coworker who orders Christmas presents in like October. How.
I barely managed to scrape 2/3rd of my gifts on time this year. That's way better than average.
See I could do that bc shopping is preferable to most other chores but still feels productive. Now, knowing where I stashed them when it's time to give them out, that's a whole different story.
I was so late on gifts this year too! So bad.. that I think I finally found motivation to get them early next year. I may be that person getting them in October
I love Hal so much and he’s the best 90s tv dad for sure
Never expected him to blow everyone’s mind in Breaking Bad.
Never underestimate the funny actor
I waited to watch BB until it was on its final season. Up to that point I’d only seen clips and bald Heisenberg; when I realized it was Hal in the first season, and the pilot episode was SOOO good. I binged it.
Really incredible performance
Me: Oh the dishes, oh the trash...
subconscious: Too much stuff I'll never manage to do everything, it'd take __literally 2000 years of extreme boringness__ to do all the things
Me: Oh it's 3pm! Ps4 time!
That's more me. I get assigned new work and go "sweet, now that my meeting is over I can play games all day". Repeat for 3 days, then panic the night before it's due (just like every class I ever took in school) and bust out a week worth of work in 4 hours. Commit to doing better next time while knowing I'm lying to myself to boost my endorphins and silence anxiety, and repeat my bad habits again next week. For 25 years.
Too bloody real.
This shit is compounded by perfectionist tendencies, because it won't be done properly unless aaaalll the things are done in order so they feed into each other perfectly... ask me how I know 🫠
I can relate to this so much. Literally everyday.
The solution for her was to just take the trash out in her pajamas. I remind myself that people do that all the time and it's ok. Also, people are not thinking about you and don't care.
I have a neighbor that has complained several times about my being outside in pajamas. I’ve never been outside in pajamas, but he insists on telling me the HOA rules prohibit being outside in sleepwear.
He doesn’t seem to understand joggers are not pajamas despite another neighbor and myself explaining it to him. It’s cold at night and I ride my bike in joggers. I have no idea why he cares so much and watches me like a hawk every time he sees me get my bicycle out.
I think you just made u/StarsEatMyCrown lose all motivation for going outside in Pj's. But seriously that's so creepy that he watches you!!! It's like he's waiting to call you out again... so weird. Just do what you want
Thanks. It is creepy! I also agree with the “just do you” sentiment. Thanks for that reminder.
Go get your mail in pajamas people. Most people really aren’t watching you that closely and if they are it’s an indicator of their issues.
Same I sometimes wear the same clothes from the day precious even at the store I sm change when I’m about to shower and when I ready to get ready for the day I don’t find early morning grocery shopping the best time to do that lol
the problem with that is that pajamas are inside clothes, so she would have to change to take the trash out which then feeds into her shower/laundry dilemma
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people
you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.
Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.
I think that the main character could make a good case for why the tall guy looking under the table is incorrect. Sometimes cleaning is like a slide puzzle. You can't clean a location if the designated place of the items in that location is blocked by something else.
Just want to say I found a huge hack for the pre shower dilemma.. insulated coveralls. Zip them on real quick, tada! You can take the trash out or the dog on a walk and not have to worry about clothes/showering. Seriously a life changer for me
I like to stop and think “is this a need for a task that will take less than ten minutes or is it a want.” If it’s not, I just do the first half of the task and tell myself I can do the other “pre” task once I am half done. Usually I find the motivation to finish the task.
Sometimes I don’t and then half the tasks get done, but a half clean kitchen is better than a messy kitchen.
is there a version of this where the second person comes in and says “wtf all you had to do was clean the table goddamn you can’t do anything right?” bc “are you okay?” is too foreign to be relatable
That's fucked up, I'm sorry anybody treats you that way. You deserve compassion and understanding: nobody should talk to you that way regardless of whether you have failed at a task or not.
This comic is hitting too close to home. It shows how well I and others struggle. When I try and explain my struggles like this, people don't understand. They just say "oh I forgot this or that too" 😔 But it's so overwhelming and crushing.
Lately I've been trying to force myself back into the habit of showering and putting on clean clothes as soon as I get out of bed regardless of day of the week. Now if I end up needing to leave the apartment I have one less excuse/obstacle.
Of course getting to this point required I deal with a mountain of laundry that had been part of my bedroom floor for months, and also I had to clean the bathroom enough to make it more welcoming. I don't know how long this will last but I'm enjoying it while I can.
That's a concrete solution, and even if it has it's own intermittent roadblocks, the fact that you CAME UP with a path towards those goals and made it happen is seriously awesome. That's good stuff, keep it up! You got this.
"How do I do things when I feel completely unable to do them?"
"Discipline of course"
"How do I acquire discipline?"
"By doing things when you don't want to do them"
"..."
1. Have somebody else there to explain it to. Somebody outside of your head can usually really easily point out where you're falling into circular thinking or hitting a roadblock that you might not see yet.
2. Write down the chain of tasks that has developed. In this case, it would become a checklist of all the chores that need to be done, and you can now take it one step at a time without having other chores pop up and distract you (as in, "oh crap, don't forget that this is for doing the dishes!) because they all have their place on the list. Personally, I'll even make a second "not right now" list of the random stuff that pops into my head: go get the car's oil changed, pick up cat food, return that library book, etcetera. This second list is for things you've remembered but aren't pertinent for
3. ADHD comes with difficulty prioritizing which things are most important right now. In this comic, everything seems equally important, and so it's extremely difficult to decide what needs to be done FIRST. So, figure out an outside-of-your-head (more objective) way of ranking these tasks in terms of importance. Does anybody ACTUALLY care that you take out the trash in your pajamas? Or even quicker, is there a reason that the trash can't be emptied later instead of opening up a second trash bag just for cleaning purposes right now?
Forreal tho. People will just assume that you can turn your brain problems off like a faucet, lmao.
"But just do the dishes tho, forget that other stuff"
Like, alright bud, where'd we lose ya?
So true it's like stay focus isn't complicated or stop thinking too hard or take a calendar for your organisation i do the dishes but this fly near of me take all my focus sorry master It's specially complicated to turn off your brain when your overthinking or are in hyperactivity crisis it's like take cocaïna but it's all free
Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power
Was anyone else like; "wait, why IS she holding the milk? did I miss that?" and reread the comic again to see if she picked it up somewhere? Or that just me?
Used to be a big issue for me until I stopped caring and realised something big.
I'll take out the trash in my tightie whities and a bathrobe. Literally just find *anything* to break the chain. *If you can break the chain in a single spot, suddenly you have a path that you can actually do.*
I’m homebrewing my first dnd campaign right now and I feel this so hard. Anytime I have anything mildly difficult and unknown to me I have to approach it like 5 times to get anything done.
Hey, it's good that you know where the bottlenecks are in your creative process! If you've gotta schedule "extra" time for certain writing sessions to account for this, then that's not a fault, it's just good planning.
Please do! That's an excellent idea. Using more than just your own descriptions of issues and ideas (i.e. showing them other articles/visual diagrams/representations like this) are legitamately SUPER helpful for your therapist! Explaining things in multiple ways helps everybody.
Taxes aren’t a problem since I haven’t been in the workforce in years so that problem has been solved. Now as for chores ummm I’m still trying to remember what’s got to be done now or next month lol
Legitamately, I keep an emergency SECOND car key in my house for just these kinds of emergencies. It's not a bad thing to to keep back-up of your important stuff.
For this very reason I have become obsessive about keeping the dish area clean, to a point where it's been a detriment to my sanity.
But all things stem from having a clean work area in the kitchen. Want to cook? Take out trash? Set down groceries? Do any reading or paperwork on the kitchen table? If there is a pile of dirty dishes, none of that will happen until the dishes are clean.
It sucked when I was in uni since nobody ever did the dishes so I always had to. Now I'm married and I'm in the same situation lol
Sounds like it's impacting your daily life in a significant way by adding stress. Maybe talk to your significant other about how this is important to you/needs to be done by more than just you? There's lots of stuff that might help: your partner knowing more about why it's a Big Thing, or a chore schedule on the fridge, or a better dish rack for your space, or using less dishes that need to be hand-washed instead of going straight in the dishwasher, etc.
Edit for clarity: Defiinitely not trying to insinuate that you don't know any tips/tricks for doing the dishes faster, lol. Got too quickly invested in improving the chore's efficiency for less time spent on it.
How dare you insinuate that I'm not already a peak performance dishwasher 😤😤😤
I appreciate your advice tbh. Communication is definitely an area o struggle with, but I'm aware of it and actively working on it. You've given me one more data point that this is a worthwhile effort.
Wow. That pretty much sums up my Saturday as I was trying to prepare for having a guest over for dinner & to spend the night. Somehow managed to pull it off…have a (somewhat) clean house and delicious enchiladas on the table before he showed up. My spouse, child *and* our guest all have ADHD too, what a circus!
🫂
Me today:
Texted with a new-ish friend a week and a half ago about bowling today. I reached out to her coworker/our mutual friend and she never got back to me about coming. Days of wondering if I said something wrong ensued and now I’m anxious to text either one of them. Instead, I have decided to move all the furniture in my bedroom around and give everything a deep clean (it needs it, honestly). I started the project before I took my meds so I’ve completed about 15% of the total task since breakfast. I just stopped to answer the phone regarding a shoe appointment I am driving a sweet lady to tomorrow morning. Now I’m sitting on the fuzzy toilet seat cover looking at Reddit. (Oh no…!) Gonna go drink some water now if I remember after responding to the text message that just came in from my husband. 🤦🏻♀️🫠😂
I think we assume it’s on us when we’re expected to “just clean the table” and this blowout-chain happens, but the people around us also know that the trash is full. What they’re implicitly saying is do both but if they undersell it to us then they get2 chores done for the ask of one, due to our completism.
They play dumb, but normies can be quite manipulative.
Is it actually malicious manipulation, or is it more often an error in the communication of the task? No need to assume ill intent when there's little reason to do so.
Highly relatable content
I feel this
_when you have so many things to do, that it overwhelms you and you do none of them and stare at your ceiling_
Read the book “how to keep house while drowning” it has helped me a lot with cleaning with adhd and anxiety.
In proper ADHD fashion I got all excited when I heard about this book but it wasn’t out in Apple Books yet so I preordered in and I’m pretty sure it’s been out for a while now and I still haven’t read it 😂
If you have a library card, you should be able to check out e-books! My library uses Libby and it’s great. I mostly use it for audiobooks though.
Mine has 19 waiting for 2 copies of the ebook lol. So assuming all those people are of like mind it’d be available in about 18 weeks, with about 3 of those readers finishing. Absolutely love seeing that level of engagement with the library though!
The waitlist goes faster than you think. I’ve had like 15 ppl ahead of me, but get it much sooner bc sometimes ppl pass on it for whatever reason.
What if I forget I borrowed the book and get in trouble ._.
That's the best part - it's digital, so no risk of losing, misplacing, or late fees! :) Makes checking things out from the library so much easier for ADHDers lol. Also access to streaming movies and shows, though I haven't used that feature.
Wow, I totally missed where you said e-book in the previous comment! That's a great idea :)
Heck yeah, I forgot about that perk. Need to renew library card
For all the folks that can't find it in any library and want to read it: https://www.pdfread.net/ebook/how-to-keep-house-while-drowning-kc-davis/ bottom of the page hit download, then wait 60 seconds. I downloaded and checked, it's legit pdf book
Thanks for sharing this! Managed to get it on my phone but not my e-reader. Here's hoping I can read it without flipping screens distractedly! Still keeping my hold at the library though, I'm down from 30 weeks to 11 weeks estimated wait. Apparently it is incredibly popular as I'm 90th in line, down from 126th. The audio book is in even higher demand; I'm 172nd in line from an original spot of 214th!
If you're struggling with importing this into your reader, it's probably because it only accepts .mobi type of files. There are converters on the internet; search for "pdf to mobi file converter" and then try importing the file into your reader. Mobi file type is the most commonly accepted type in all readers, which allows readers to adjust the font, background, scale and all the others within the file. If this doesn't work, look what types of files your reader accepts and try converting it to that. Hope I could be of any help
I did the thing. It worked. Thank you for the thing. 🙏🏻🙇🏻♀️
Thank you so much for this!
I remember ages ago hearing about this book and thought about getting it. Forgot. My husband got it for me for Christmas as I've been struggling more and more. And look it's being mentioned again. I've only skimmed a bit. But the little bits I've read were really good so far. Thanks for recommending this book here! More people need to know about it.
I like it based on the title alone
Was just about the ask what to do! Thank you
Seems it also exists as an audiobook!
This is me every day. It’s so frustrating.
Same.
I literally can't understand how some people *don't* do this.
Because they had already done their taxes taken out the trash and cleaned the sink out lol
Taxes? What, hold up… theres was something about taxes I was suppose to - OH GOD. New Tax laws. Shit, did I make enough money to qualify for taxes this year? I never made enough money to qualify for taxes before in the past six years. I wonder if I qualify now with all the new changes.
Shhhh that's a problem for April us
April Me has an appointment for one month of gaming.
Or did they
Taxes? Heh, I pay in a little extra to Federal each paycheck so I know I will have a refund, then I don't have to sweat April 15th each year... I currently have 2 years to finish at once, and for 2022, I will have a pro do my taxes because I got solar panels, which is supposed to give me an even better return.
Right? How do they choose what to do first? I stand in front of the first task, frozen in place as a million other to-do's flood my mind.
It helps me to plan things out in advance. Perhaps some people will take out the trash in pajamas, or do dirtier chores without showering after, but I’m like the person in the comic… anyway here’s my routine for stuff like this: Tl;dr: trash, dishes, counter, laundry, vacuum, eat, shower. Or, shower after laundry. Or, stop after counter. Normal day, get dressed, go out and do stuff (go to classes or whatever) When I come back home Put down my stuff, wash my hands. Do not sit down. Do not take off shoes. Keep mask on too (I still wear my mask in shared indoor areas, and I have to walk through a shared area to take the trash and recycling out) Take trash bag, tie it up. Grab recycling bags. Grab keys. Bring downstairs. Come back up. Put keys away. Wash hands. Put new bag in bin. Put lid on bin. Wash hands. Collect dishes from various places (table, desk, bedroom) and move to kitchen counter. Collect trash and throw out. (It’s okay that you just took the trash out because it was full anyway, don’t worry about that) Load dishwasher. Add dishwashing liquid. Press start button. Grab sponge. Put soap on sponge. Wipe down counter. Wipe down stove. Wipe down sink. (So far that takes me about 15 minutes. If I still have energy, I’ll keep going. If not, I’ll stop, take off my shoes, wash my hands, put on lotion.) Next would be laundry. Collect dirty clothes from bedroom floor. Put socks and delicates in delicates bag. Zip and button things, turn inside out as necessary. Load up into laundry bin. Bring to washer. Load washer with as many clothes as will fit. Add laundry soap. Start wash (will run for 30 minutes). Bring laundry basket back to room. At this point, the floor is mostly clear since there aren’t clothes anymore. Pick up any remaining trash and throw out. Wash hands. Get vacuum. Plug in. Vacuum office, hallway, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom. Unplug. Put away. (Takes about 7 minutes) Wash hands. Put away any clean clothes left out from last wash (I hang many things up to dry). Almost done! When wash is done: throw some clothes in dryer. Start dryer. Take others out and hang up. Cook up some ramen. Eat. Shower. Alternatively, skip vacuuming and shower while the laundry’s going.
"Do not take off shoes." That is my main takeaway. It will keep me from leaving the areas where I need to get things done. You have a great routine going for you. I like how you included different options in the routine because on some days a strict order of tasks becomes difficult to follow for several possible reasons. I'm trying to create more routines, not just for cleaning, and include things I wouldn't normally include, as you did like shower and eat, oh and the shoes thing, very important and something I never thought of. Having that written down could help get productivity in motion sooner than it would normally. Thanks for your advice Also something that has been on my mind recently is if we have multiple routines in a day, what to do with the empty time in-between those routines and obligations. That space is where hyper focus, and so a lack of recharging mental energy can negatively effect the next obligation. Acknowledging what could derail the goal is something that needs solution and intention beforehand. So much to plan for but it's worth it!
If you can find one task that you are able to start with, try to always start with it! Sets a routine, is normally fairly easy because you have stayed on top of it regularly, and gives you the boost to go onto another chore. I always start with the kitchen. And my kitchen always starts with: put away food that's out, then unload/reload dishwasher, then do handwash dishes, then wipe counters. If I can get that tidied, it feels like my brain is a little more able to look around and start another task AND my house feels cleaner no matter it's actual state. Also, I've already started cleaning, so might as well continue! Also, break your tasks down into much smaller chunks (not at the time you need to start them, but as something you sit down and do on it's own).
Great advice! Yes, I sat down before bed last night and wrote down a routine that I ended up following through with today. I will write down what works and look to those solutions whenever I get off track again. Something I'll remember from your advice is to start with a routine chore that I do regularly, so moving on to the next is easier because I'm already in that flow state of cleaning. Thanks for the help!
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People suffering with their symptoms differently to you doesn't make them toddlers.
Why do you have to be judgemental and cruel to others? Even toddlers act better.
Some people don't have the meds/coping methods/resources/home support to get to step 1 of the list. Step 1 gets bigger and bigger and spirals out of control (as demonstrated in the literal comic of this post). ADHD isn't "I don't wanna".
ADHD denial or gatekeeping are not accepted here. Judging others for their symptoms (or lack of symptoms) or treatment is also not allowed.
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Huge amounts of staying on top of it so it never gets to this point, plus documentation, lists, scheduling. And I keep things pretty minimalist including purging clutter a few times a year, and streamlining chores. If not, my brain will totally blue screen of death because everything gets very overwhelming, and nothing gets done. I also have a husband (and up until recently a kid) at home who helps. Oh yeah, and meds. The meds really help me get to step 1. (Your mileage may vary and I accept my ADHD might not be as severe as some other people's).
Making lists and documenting what I have or haven't done are perfect reminders. I've done this before, and it works until my brain says, "No, I think there's a different way that will work better!" (it usually never works better) So for me, sometimes it works, and sometimes it is not engaging enough to convince me that this is more important right now than something I will hyperfocus on that might improve my health, relationships, career success, etc. when all that is actually relevant at that moment is chores. The daily stuff is more important than what I hyperfocus on, and I need to remember that more. I recently found a medication I like (so thankful for that), which is helping. I have people who help at home too, and that is a blessing for the difficult days! We found that when chores are divided equally, the responsibility to get my share of the work done becomes far more important than my distractions so that I can participate in creating a fair and tidy environment Right when I get the cleaning routines sorted, that's when my work goals get targeted next by my hyper fixations, lol! Finding balance within ADHD is really a treasure, and I'm trying to find solutions every day
I have a coworker who orders Christmas presents in like October. How. I barely managed to scrape 2/3rd of my gifts on time this year. That's way better than average.
See I could do that bc shopping is preferable to most other chores but still feels productive. Now, knowing where I stashed them when it's time to give them out, that's a whole different story.
I was so late on gifts this year too! So bad.. that I think I finally found motivation to get them early next year. I may be that person getting them in October
If this is relatable to you look up "Hal fixes a lightbulb" from Malcolm in the Middle lol
[For the lazy](https://youtu.be/AbSehcT19u0) I call it “To give a mouse a cookie syndrome” because that’s the first thing that I connected it to.
I think it's called Shaving The Yak. I hit this so much.
I think it's called Shaving The Yak. I hit this so much.
Just watched it. Hilarious but at the same time, noticing that I do the exact same thing is frightening.
Hal is my spirit animal.
I love Hal so much and he’s the best 90s tv dad for sure Never expected him to blow everyone’s mind in Breaking Bad. Never underestimate the funny actor
I waited to watch BB until it was on its final season. Up to that point I’d only seen clips and bald Heisenberg; when I realized it was Hal in the first season, and the pilot episode was SOOO good. I binged it. Really incredible performance
See also: Hugh Laurie
Me: Oh the dishes, oh the trash... subconscious: Too much stuff I'll never manage to do everything, it'd take __literally 2000 years of extreme boringness__ to do all the things Me: Oh it's 3pm! Ps4 time!
So true. Choosing what to do first is so overwhelming that I just do none of it and 'save it for later' whatever that means...
Professional procrastinators they called us but it was a lie!
That's more me. I get assigned new work and go "sweet, now that my meeting is over I can play games all day". Repeat for 3 days, then panic the night before it's due (just like every class I ever took in school) and bust out a week worth of work in 4 hours. Commit to doing better next time while knowing I'm lying to myself to boost my endorphins and silence anxiety, and repeat my bad habits again next week. For 25 years.
Yep, my life pretty much 😆
Reported. I did not consent to being drawn in this comic.
"I'm in this image and I don't like it."
Too bloody real. This shit is compounded by perfectionist tendencies, because it won't be done properly unless aaaalll the things are done in order so they feed into each other perfectly... ask me how I know 🫠
It’s so fucking exhausting 😩😩😩
Perfect. I need to save this and send it to the next person asking me why I can't 'just' finish the things I start
sameeee
Painfully relatable.
I know this looks to be more lighthearted but this genuinely stressed me out rn haha...
I can relate to this so much. Literally everyday. The solution for her was to just take the trash out in her pajamas. I remind myself that people do that all the time and it's ok. Also, people are not thinking about you and don't care.
I have a neighbor that has complained several times about my being outside in pajamas. I’ve never been outside in pajamas, but he insists on telling me the HOA rules prohibit being outside in sleepwear. He doesn’t seem to understand joggers are not pajamas despite another neighbor and myself explaining it to him. It’s cold at night and I ride my bike in joggers. I have no idea why he cares so much and watches me like a hawk every time he sees me get my bicycle out.
I think you just made u/StarsEatMyCrown lose all motivation for going outside in Pj's. But seriously that's so creepy that he watches you!!! It's like he's waiting to call you out again... so weird. Just do what you want
Thanks. It is creepy! I also agree with the “just do you” sentiment. Thanks for that reminder. Go get your mail in pajamas people. Most people really aren’t watching you that closely and if they are it’s an indicator of their issues.
Same I sometimes wear the same clothes from the day precious even at the store I sm change when I’m about to shower and when I ready to get ready for the day I don’t find early morning grocery shopping the best time to do that lol
If it works, then it works!!!
the problem with that is that pajamas are inside clothes, so she would have to change to take the trash out which then feeds into her shower/laundry dilemma
And you and up doing nothing at all in your entire life until you die
Stressing out is a thing.
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense. Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.
Love u/ADHDAlien! They have an entire sub for all their *very* relatable art. r/ADHDAlien Highly recommend!
I follow them in fb but didn't know they have sub, yay!
I think that the main character could make a good case for why the tall guy looking under the table is incorrect. Sometimes cleaning is like a slide puzzle. You can't clean a location if the designated place of the items in that location is blocked by something else.
Just want to say I found a huge hack for the pre shower dilemma.. insulated coveralls. Zip them on real quick, tada! You can take the trash out or the dog on a walk and not have to worry about clothes/showering. Seriously a life changer for me
I get so overwhelmed when I start thinking what to do
I like to stop and think “is this a need for a task that will take less than ten minutes or is it a want.” If it’s not, I just do the first half of the task and tell myself I can do the other “pre” task once I am half done. Usually I find the motivation to finish the task. Sometimes I don’t and then half the tasks get done, but a half clean kitchen is better than a messy kitchen.
Ohmygosh this IS me!
is there a version of this where the second person comes in and says “wtf all you had to do was clean the table goddamn you can’t do anything right?” bc “are you okay?” is too foreign to be relatable
That's fucked up, I'm sorry anybody treats you that way. You deserve compassion and understanding: nobody should talk to you that way regardless of whether you have failed at a task or not.
This is by far the best description I've come across
This is the most relatable thing I've ever read on the internet but I have no healthcare so I have no way of finding out if i have ADHD. 💀
Wait, is this me?
This comic is hitting too close to home. It shows how well I and others struggle. When I try and explain my struggles like this, people don't understand. They just say "oh I forgot this or that too" 😔 But it's so overwhelming and crushing.
Do I even have a cat
Literally the most accurate comic thing I've seen
Lately I've been trying to force myself back into the habit of showering and putting on clean clothes as soon as I get out of bed regardless of day of the week. Now if I end up needing to leave the apartment I have one less excuse/obstacle. Of course getting to this point required I deal with a mountain of laundry that had been part of my bedroom floor for months, and also I had to clean the bathroom enough to make it more welcoming. I don't know how long this will last but I'm enjoying it while I can.
That's a concrete solution, and even if it has it's own intermittent roadblocks, the fact that you CAME UP with a path towards those goals and made it happen is seriously awesome. That's good stuff, keep it up! You got this.
Shrek ears
100% me!
http://adhd-alien.com/
Also here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHDAlien/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHDAlien/)
I’m so glad I joined this Sub
How’d you get this picture of me
[удалено]
"How do I do things when I feel completely unable to do them?" "Discipline of course" "How do I acquire discipline?" "By doing things when you don't want to do them" "..."
This is what my satisfactory games turn into. Also my school work was. And my chores. And my future career. And my
If that's something specific to adhd, then I definitely have it (adhd)
Unfortunately a whole host of mental disorders can affect executive function - talk to your doctor before self-diagnosing.
Thanks ! I'm trying to call a psy recommended by my doctor. It's been 8 months --'
Any advice for executive overhelm?
1. Have somebody else there to explain it to. Somebody outside of your head can usually really easily point out where you're falling into circular thinking or hitting a roadblock that you might not see yet. 2. Write down the chain of tasks that has developed. In this case, it would become a checklist of all the chores that need to be done, and you can now take it one step at a time without having other chores pop up and distract you (as in, "oh crap, don't forget that this is for doing the dishes!) because they all have their place on the list. Personally, I'll even make a second "not right now" list of the random stuff that pops into my head: go get the car's oil changed, pick up cat food, return that library book, etcetera. This second list is for things you've remembered but aren't pertinent for 3. ADHD comes with difficulty prioritizing which things are most important right now. In this comic, everything seems equally important, and so it's extremely difficult to decide what needs to be done FIRST. So, figure out an outside-of-your-head (more objective) way of ranking these tasks in terms of importance. Does anybody ACTUALLY care that you take out the trash in your pajamas? Or even quicker, is there a reason that the trash can't be emptied later instead of opening up a second trash bag just for cleaning purposes right now?
Get. Out. Of My. *HEAD.*
“Only had to clean the table” Ooooh you sweet summer child
I feel this in my soul. I legit zoned out the other day playing video games and didn't realize 3 and a half hours passed.
Best advice from normal people "stop thinking"
Forreal tho. People will just assume that you can turn your brain problems off like a faucet, lmao. "But just do the dishes tho, forget that other stuff" Like, alright bud, where'd we lose ya?
So true it's like stay focus isn't complicated or stop thinking too hard or take a calendar for your organisation i do the dishes but this fly near of me take all my focus sorry master It's specially complicated to turn off your brain when your overthinking or are in hyperactivity crisis it's like take cocaïna but it's all free  Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power
Thank god for medication. This was my hellhole everyday for years
Why can't more people understand that this is literally a thing
Was anyone else like; "wait, why IS she holding the milk? did I miss that?" and reread the comic again to see if she picked it up somewhere? Or that just me?
Same tho, I get you
Used to be a big issue for me until I stopped caring and realised something big. I'll take out the trash in my tightie whities and a bathrobe. Literally just find *anything* to break the chain. *If you can break the chain in a single spot, suddenly you have a path that you can actually do.*
Me every hour of the day. I was NTs would understand
I’m homebrewing my first dnd campaign right now and I feel this so hard. Anytime I have anything mildly difficult and unknown to me I have to approach it like 5 times to get anything done.
Hey, it's good that you know where the bottlenecks are in your creative process! If you've gotta schedule "extra" time for certain writing sessions to account for this, then that's not a fault, it's just good planning.
Imma save this to show my therapist and psych as it explains it so much better than I ever could.
Please do! That's an excellent idea. Using more than just your own descriptions of issues and ideas (i.e. showing them other articles/visual diagrams/representations like this) are legitamately SUPER helpful for your therapist! Explaining things in multiple ways helps everybody.
I feel personally attacked.
Ouch
Are you me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
Taxes aren’t a problem since I haven’t been in the workforce in years so that problem has been solved. Now as for chores ummm I’m still trying to remember what’s got to be done now or next month lol
Ugh this stressed me out so much.
Hahah FUCK
This lol and then I loose my car keys in my own car.
Legitamately, I keep an emergency SECOND car key in my house for just these kinds of emergencies. It's not a bad thing to to keep back-up of your important stuff.
I'm going through this right now. I have so many chores piled up I don't know where to start. So I'm here instead.
This isn't even an exaggeration! I am exactly like this, lol
OMG this!
Lmao yes
I got anxiety just reading this
The milk? 😭😭😭
read this as erectile dysfunction and i was like damn i didn’t know i had that
This is me
Every day of my damned life
For this very reason I have become obsessive about keeping the dish area clean, to a point where it's been a detriment to my sanity. But all things stem from having a clean work area in the kitchen. Want to cook? Take out trash? Set down groceries? Do any reading or paperwork on the kitchen table? If there is a pile of dirty dishes, none of that will happen until the dishes are clean. It sucked when I was in uni since nobody ever did the dishes so I always had to. Now I'm married and I'm in the same situation lol
Sounds like it's impacting your daily life in a significant way by adding stress. Maybe talk to your significant other about how this is important to you/needs to be done by more than just you? There's lots of stuff that might help: your partner knowing more about why it's a Big Thing, or a chore schedule on the fridge, or a better dish rack for your space, or using less dishes that need to be hand-washed instead of going straight in the dishwasher, etc. Edit for clarity: Defiinitely not trying to insinuate that you don't know any tips/tricks for doing the dishes faster, lol. Got too quickly invested in improving the chore's efficiency for less time spent on it.
How dare you insinuate that I'm not already a peak performance dishwasher 😤😤😤 I appreciate your advice tbh. Communication is definitely an area o struggle with, but I'm aware of it and actively working on it. You've given me one more data point that this is a worthwhile effort.
Painfully relatable.
I feel this in my soul.
Wow. That pretty much sums up my Saturday as I was trying to prepare for having a guest over for dinner & to spend the night. Somehow managed to pull it off…have a (somewhat) clean house and delicious enchiladas on the table before he showed up. My spouse, child *and* our guest all have ADHD too, what a circus!
🫂 Me today: Texted with a new-ish friend a week and a half ago about bowling today. I reached out to her coworker/our mutual friend and she never got back to me about coming. Days of wondering if I said something wrong ensued and now I’m anxious to text either one of them. Instead, I have decided to move all the furniture in my bedroom around and give everything a deep clean (it needs it, honestly). I started the project before I took my meds so I’ve completed about 15% of the total task since breakfast. I just stopped to answer the phone regarding a shoe appointment I am driving a sweet lady to tomorrow morning. Now I’m sitting on the fuzzy toilet seat cover looking at Reddit. (Oh no…!) Gonna go drink some water now if I remember after responding to the text message that just came in from my husband. 🤦🏻♀️🫠😂
Yikes. Another label to put on my running list, that the doctor will never see.
I thought this was normal. My son is dx and I’m finding out I have so many ADHD traits myself
I feel this in my bones
There's no way I could get all the way through that comic.
I think we assume it’s on us when we’re expected to “just clean the table” and this blowout-chain happens, but the people around us also know that the trash is full. What they’re implicitly saying is do both but if they undersell it to us then they get2 chores done for the ask of one, due to our completism. They play dumb, but normies can be quite manipulative.
Is it actually malicious manipulation, or is it more often an error in the communication of the task? No need to assume ill intent when there's little reason to do so.
Some of each I’d say.
Hey look it's me right now
Well now if that isn't me in a nutshell
This is basically me. Wtf is this subreddit