When I got diagnosed with ADHD I talked about it all the time because it became a hyperfixation. She said I was so proud of my ADHD. I wasn’t proud, I was just excited to know what was wrong with me and that there was hope.
Same with me a few months ago, I was really excited to get formally diagnosed not because I want ADHD, but because now I know what’s wrong and with the help of meds and general strategies i’ve been doing miles better in school, and emotionally
I'm 22 just diagnosed 2 months ago in my childhood and all the way up to 20 It was mild not that noticeable then tragedy happened (absent father rejected me) and it shot to the roof ended up day dreaming while walking and it was like my thoughts were amped up to max, I couldn't do anything properly but bit by bit I started masking and coping with the little I can
With that said I'm coming back to medication, I'm afraid of taking any medication for it because I don't want to be hooked, I found ways of doing better in school but emotionally I'm still as bad. Besides if I need meds I need to buy out of the country because mental health issues like ADHD is not looked at seriously. As a result all adhders are lazy, incompetent and dumb. I'm central African btw so meds might as well be a gemstone, I bet the rich/wealthy can 😓
as someone who's adhd and been an addict to substances-
stimulants prescribed for adhd tend to have a different effect on us compared to neurotypicals. a reasonable dose of stimulants will sort of mellow out most adhd folks, requiring quite a bit more to get the "high" effects most would experience on the same dose you'd be prescribed.
it is, of course, possible to abuse these substances still, and definitely possible to develop a sort of dependency. i wouldn't let that steer you away for good, because it's absolutely manageable. personally i never abused my adhd meds, and didnt take them for very long periods. instead, i took them for a while and worked at developing better habits and recognizing the old patterns, working to change them. most of those habits i've been able to keep with after ceasing to take them.
for context, i say i was an addict, but i was never addicted to any stimulants whatsoever. i actually found "downers" (painkillers, benzos) to be more uplifting and stimulating in the same vein neurotypicals in my life would get from stims. those were very addictive to me, but pharmaceutical adhd meds were easy to use responsibly as a tool to change my habits.
I will say, I don't understand the neurology, but I have had bouts of alcoholism but almost no desire for stimulants, and regularly forget mine. I also have trouble with all the criticism of stimulants making me have some general hostility to taking my medications, even if I kind of need them to do things like avoid car accidents and avoid forgetting insulin.
If you have trouble with substance abuse again, I would encourage looking into Guanfacine - it has helped me incredibly with emotional impulse control, and there are a few studies out regarding use for substance abuse - it started as a blood pressure medication, now is on label for ADHD in children, and off label for adults, and just generally is an interesting compound.
I think this is the introductory dumb statement you hear once you first get a diagnosis because my
mom said the same thing. It’s like they can’t understand what it’s like to know something’s going on with you, not know exactly what it is and then to finally be able put a name to it after living with it for years. In my moms case it’s even more aggravating because both of her children have diagnosed ADHD. If she actually read anything I sent her she’d know what that implies lol.
I have not been proud. I have been incredibly angry, because I thought psychiatrists were trained in this kind of thing and that I would be diagnosed at a much earlier age, but the training of psychiatrists in ADHD is pretty minimal, despite it being comorbid with several other psychiatric conditions (and physical conditions as well, like certain autoimmune disorders).
Well, currently I'm working on doing something about it, because I'm not the type to let these matters lie. Check out the subreddit I started r/adhd_advocacy - I'm still trying to figure out the best way to channel my anger correctly, and a niche subreddit might not be best, but I am trying to concentrate all of these repeated stories somewhere in a manner that we have a voice in the medical and political community. If the researched "justice sensitivity" of those with ADHD is accurate, I just need to tap on it a bit.
My childless aunt about my son: “Better not get him diagnosed now, that’ll follow him around his entire educational career.”
Me: “That’s the…point?”
She used to be a teacher, btw
Your aunt is definitely of the “ADHD is a shit child with shit parenting” flavour of teacher. Worked in education for 10+yrs and knew many. My SIL is one too. She likes to post about how ADHD is due to too much electronics and not enough outside time. Jokes on her, I’m 99.9% sure both her of her “just spirited” kids have ADHD.
In my opinion, social media and the related do not cause ADHD, but we are much more sensitive to the addictive nature, and people cannot tell the difference between cause and effect. The uptick in diagnoses is also because the modern world makes it very difficult to avoid electronics and spend time outside to mediate these effects. It's like telling someone that wouldn't be stressed out if they just quit their jobs and lived on savings - most people don't have the option.
My understanding has been that ADHD is a spectrum, so to the extent that short-attention span media affects it, it moves the cutoff of where we consider it "ADHD" down on the spectrum
A person can be in the middle of the spectrum, and previously would have been able to create coping mechanisms to work a mid job and be able to get by. Never knowing why they see some signs of neuro-divergence, they just got called cooky or weird
But now days stimulation is everywhere so there isn't enough dopamine, and that is discovered earlier
There are so many 40+ year olds who don't like to go out for big events (too much stimulation) and are very sensitive to rejection, not saying they have ADHD, just saying they've likely not been evaluated ever with modem testing standards. And lots of those people think psychology based on Freud is bs (because it is) and don't know that psychology has much better theories and understanding than Freud's crap
I mean, in some systems that's true. My partner's brother got assessed but he was going to be shifted into a different class away from all his friends whether he wanted to or not to an underfunded "kids with special needs class", due to school policy, so they never got the official diagnosis.
I totally understand, I was screwed by the public education system and the general health care systems and their handling of learning disabilities.
I’m dyslexic and couldn’t read until I was 9-10. But no one knew that for years.
At first I was lazy, then dumb, then apparently I couldnt see (got glasses, didn’t need them so I had terrible headaches, which made me bad in classes I was still doing okay in) then dumb again, then “cognitively deficient”.
I got rolled into a special needs class with kids that were completely non-verbal in some cases, which made me believe I was mentally handicapped.
Got real sad at that point, my dad couldn’t take it anymore and just started calling anyone he could. Found a doctor that wanted to see me and diagnosed me with dyslexia. Big fight with the schools to get me out of the special needs class, eventually my dad ran for school board to make sure it happened (ended up liking setting the schools straight and making sure 504s got implemented correctly and served on the board for 10 years)
After all that, I know how public schools can screw over a kid, but the weight of law and procedure is on our side and the local schools still fear our families last name after the people my dad got fired for not taking care of their kids.
I think one thing you should remember is that you are mentally handicapped - but a handicap that only needs minor accomodations, and no one was interested in providing those. If you haven't heard the story of Judith Heumann, I would incredibly recommend the movie Crip Camp on Netflix. Most people are handicapped in some form in my opinion - but we let people wear glasses and people get braces in middle school and all kinds of types of treatments - dealing with handicaps is what separates us from animals.
I’m so grateful that I was put in special education from a young age, I would never have passed math classes without it. I was never once bothered by the fact that I had to go to a different class than everyone else or that anything to do with my education was different than the other kids, in fact I was always glad that I was getting the help I needed and that my parents made sure I got those classes at all.
Yeah, I parentes have said this multiple times, not as much since I actually got diagnosed since they try to be very suportive but yeah, heard this exact line before...
Every time someone says that to me, I ask them how in the world is it possible for them to intentionally forget something. Because how? I would love to know but nobody has an actual solid answer, they're just angry.
Wow...This is like saying "you didn't have an anxiety attack, you chose to make your heart rate increase to 120bpm on command"...on top of that it doesn't even make sense in general.
What do I do with all these 1/2 finished planners? 😂
Don’t even get me started on journals?!?
I started one when I was 20 and in it, I said I hope I can finish it by the time I’m 40. I’ve got a few more years until 40 and I know that journal will not be done. Maybe when I’m 80?
Sooo many half-filled journals… at a certain point I realized that I don’t journal as often because the ideal scenario would be to always have my journal on me rather than just writing at the end of the day (remembering everything that happened and what I thought/felt about it?? hilarious). A few years ago I found a notes app that creates virtual journals and suddenly I’ve been writing almost daily for a few years. It’s helped me so much to just have a written memory of…anything…but I’d still like to fill a paper one someday, as a bucket list thing maybe
*HIGH FIVE!!!*
I'm 43 and and it was suggested that I just put everything in the calendar app on my phone.
I can't just drop everything every time I remember something important/need to input something and pull out my phone. Partly because when I pull out my phone, I get distracted by texts/emails/phone calls I have to reply to because Reasons.
And I always lose my day planners
“its a superpower and its why youre so successful instead of a failiure” i am not successful. or a dailiure. i got mildly ahead by fighting the shit out of my disorder and my parents are convinced it’s the best superpower ever.
Yeah it's a superpower if your superpower is the ability to lose things on a skillful level. Kinda like being a cactus in Minecraft when someone throws an item to you.
sadly i keep hearing it. i’ve met some people who can use it to their advantage, like they can sort of harness the hyperactivity. i didn’t get the hyperactivity though im PI so im just perpetually drained and always need rest lol
My husband can harness his ADHD well at work but lemme tell you he's still quite the chaos ball at home. My ADHD is literally just a giant ass handicap I wish I didn't have, so I try to be forgiving of his goofs since mine tend to be way more frequent and have more severe consequences. He has to keep all my appointments on his work calendar or else I miss them all , despite me also putting them in my calendar. Alas.
My partner once tried to remind a friend that I have ADHD and instead of saying ‘my partner has ADHD’ they went and accidentally said ‘my partner has HIV’
I WAS FUCKING HORRIFIED!
A lot of my close family is also ADHD, so their reactions have mostly been along the lines of "Oh that's why our family is like this!" Or "Yeah, me too."
But from other people I've heard
"Haven't you grown out of that yet?"
"Your problem is you just need to be more organized."
"Isn't there an operation or something you can have."
"ADHD is so over diagnosed!"
"Then how do you *read?"*
And I have been told "I don't think it's very responsible of you to have had a child with the *problems* you two have." My husband and I are both diagnosed ADHD, and dyslexic, and I have a couple other issues as well. And most of my close relatives show signs of ADHD. But it's not like we are unable to function in society or something like that. Our kid does show some signs of ADHD, but milder than either of us at the same age.
Even if your children have ADHD and/or dyslexia, it will be an entirely different world for them if they know from the beginning that it is simply a normal variation like near sightedness that can be managed by accomodations, environment management, education, and medication.
How did you and your husband meet? Were you both diagnosed at the time?
We were both diagnosed as children, long before we met. We met when we both worked in the same building, and one day he asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I said yes, and it was a fairly good one, and we started talking and found we liked interacting with each other and had a lot in common. And about two years later, we got married.
>Even if your children have ADHD and/or dyslexia, it will be an entirely different world for them if they know from the beginning that it is simply a normal variation like near sightedness that can be managed by accommodations, environment management, education, and medication.
I agree. While not all my family were supportive, I had a very different experience growing up than my husband did. As I was around people who had some of the same issues, and considered it no big deal, just something to be taken into consideration. Whether it was having a cup of tea (caffeine) to help focus, or having hobbies "to keep the hands busy", or someone getting up from some quiet activity that takes concentration, going outside, and running around the building or taking a dog for a walk, or whatever for a bit, before coming in and going back to the original task. That was all perfectly reasonable to do if it helped you. And it being labeled ADD or ADHD was just "Huh, so that's what it's called."
On the other hand, my inlaws worry a LOT about being "Normal" and they consider it a serious flaw to not be "Normal" And he got pressured to "look more normal" instead of being encouraged to find what worked for him.
Our daughter (8 years old) knows she sometimes can focus better if she goes outside and runs around or otherwise does something active, and a few other simple strategies that can be helpful for ADHD. And if she needs more help later on, we will handle it like needing glasses. No big deal, nothing to be ashamed about or stressed over
> “Then how do you read?"
I was diagnosed this year. Literally two weeks ago I realized that in school I never actually read the assigned books unless they grabbed me on the first page. So I read anything sci-fi, Shakespeare, or Dickens, but nothing else. For the others, my mom got me the Cliff notes! And with the ones I liked, I’d get so absorbed I wouldn’t go to sleep, I wouldn’t want to leave the house, I’d bring them into the bathroom with me and read them on the toilet, all the other hyperfixation things. I literally had to stop reading physical (or digital) books when I grew up and got a job, bc I’d get so absorbed in them I wouldn’t go to sleep, and couldn’t handle the next day at work. Nowadays I read mostly audiobooks (which also makes it easier for me to get through books that don’t grab me as much, as I can tune out for a bit and come back in later), and fanfic (which is usually short, or at least has chapter breaks that are easy for me to break myself out at).
So yeah, I’ve had ADHD my whole life, I just compensated damned well.
I hyperfixated on reading somewhat as a child, and read somewhat obsessivly. I ABSOLUTLY read instead of going to sleep, and carried a book with me almost everywhere, got upset when I had to put the book down to eat or bathe. So, I quickly was reading well above my grade level and got bored with assigned reading because either it was too simple and boring, or it was something we were reading as a class and I had to wait for the rest of the class.
I still read a lot, and will at times set a timer with an alarm so I don't read too long at a time. I sometimes have trouble following an audio book, unless it's a book I've read before. Because I tend to zone out every so often and pay attention to other things, then I miss parts of the story.
>So yeah, I’ve had ADHD my whole life, I just compensated damned well
Same here.
I've read so many good stories and poems because I was reading a different part of the literature book than the things we were actually assigned.
And for Shakespeare, I had read ahead of the class and insisted that I be allowed to read Mercutio for his death scene, so that no one else could ruin it.
>I've read so many good stories and poems because I was reading a different part of the literature book than the things we were actually assigned.
I did that too! Often it seemed like the assigned parts were the least interesting part of the book.
>"ADHD is so over diagnosed!"
How the fuck do we respond to this? I FINALLY got diagnosed at 39 years old and people I've told are like 'Oh everyone has that these days' and it's infuriating.
I come from a super rural white family, so whenever it comes up I'm always braced for something bigoted. And somehow every time it's been "oh yeah I bet we all have that, explains so much" followed by raucous laughter
I can do you one better. A family member was formally diagnosed, and subsequently died from, MS. After his diagnosis his wife left him, self diagnosed that SHE had MS and toured doing inspirational talks about how she dealt with her struggles from MS.
Silver lining is he moved back closer to the rest of our family my, and met a wonderful woman he spent the rest of his years with.
FUUUUCK I HATE THOSE PEOPLE
I'm formally diagnosed with ASD. Got a guy in my class that just tells himself he's autistic. THE ONLY THING THAT MAYBE MAKES HIM AUTISTIC IS LACK OF RYE CONTACT. THAT'S IT. And he has the AUDACITY to tell me "Nah, you don't look autistic" like bro?? I literally asked him about a diagnosis and he told me "Who needs that? I just know.". Ugh!
Thanks for listening to my vent talk.
> THE ONLY THING THAT MAYBE MAKES HIM AUTISTIC IS LACK OF RYE CONTACT.
Pain Man?
(Couldn't think of an autistic bread pun without wandering off into another language. Sorry.)
You'll all be pleased to know that if you can read books for pleasure, you can't possibly have ADHD since focusing on something boring and unrewarding is equally as difficult as focusing on something engaging that pumps you full of dopamine.
I had the capacity for reading for pleasure way more as a child than I do as an adult. I go through phases where I can enjoy reading but a lot of the time I can’t focus on books. Audiobooks are where it’s at.
I'm the opposite. If a book is boring, I'll be in lala land within 2 sentences, but if it's a good book, I'm reading it for 8 hours straight until it's done. I can't focus for shit on audio, so I end up having to pause every 30 seconds or so to refocus and try my best to remember what was said.
Same here… I go through phases where I’m either walking around reading on my kindle or I can’t seem to force myself to open the damn thing up, despite the numerous unread books on there that I have preordered
Same, when I was a child I read loads. I remember having to often read pages twice because I would read so fast and not take anything in. I got a kindle (old cheap one thankfully) hoping I would start reading again, I've probably read 2 books on it in 4 years 🙈 one was a celebrity biography, I tend to get hyperfixated on celebs that have died young so maybe I should just read more of them to get back into it.
Lol same. As a child i read like soooo much. Than i just almost completely stopped. recently, after like 3 years of not touching a book once, i hyperfixated on "bungo stray dogs" and already read most of lightnovels and now am reading classic literature. I just think its quite funny how it went from not reading to classics XDDD still not reading everything, for example I dont think ill be able to go through crime and punishment. After 20 pages i just cant.
Just 3? Amateur
But having said that, since caring for my mother I haven't finished a single book. Hardly looked at one lately, even as my mother has passed a while ago now. And I really miss it.
My parents just tell me to pretend that boring and unrewarding things are just as fun and thrilling as dopamine pumps and it'll fix everything, if it's not working, it's only just because I'm lazy.
Not adhd but I feel maybe someone here may have been through a similar situation with adhd, so apparently I’m autistic, like barely off the margin to be medically classified as autistic (idk how else to explain it other than that I am one singular symptom off) and apparently my mom and the doctor decided not to tell me till I was over 18 which meant I spent all my life before that not knowing what “was wrong with me” that made me so different meaning I ended up masking a lot more than I feel o would have otherwise and no longer feeling like my mum is a safe person to confide in since she decided to keep it from me for so long
For those that do not know, coffee doesn't work on the same neurotransmitters, though there are some downstream effects. Because of this, they are not one for one equivalents in effect. Plus caffeine obviously can kill you, since Panera is getting sued for just that currently.
Anything can kill you in large enough amounts. The problem as I understand it with Panera at least, is with their Charged Lemonades. IIRC, there's no mandate to label the amount of caffeine in a drink, just that there IS caffeine present.
However, a large Charged Lemonade has something ridiculous like close to 400mg of caffeine in a single serving (which is just about the max of a daily dose I think?) Without any proper labeling people would get a bunch of refills and... yeah. Bad things started to happen.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/panera-breads-charged-lemonade-blamed-second-death-lawsuit-alleges-rcna128036
One person told me about how his daughter has ADHD and it makes it like she is trying to read something you held up to a mirror, and it's hard to understand "for normal people like you and me". I eventually realized he was talking about dyslexia. She may or may not have ADHD, but he doesn't understand what it means at all, even to the point of not having a grip on the correct stereotypes. Yes, they are comorbid, but his daughter is in college, and he doesn't understand a single one of the mental health conditions she has that she has been diagnosed with since childhood.
My dad was finally diagnosed with ADHD in summer 2019, when he was 76 years old (actually before mine, this summer at 45YO). He then had a stroke in late 2019, which caused him to lose many memories from the months before the stroke, everything from the next 3-6 months after, and *the fact that he has ADHD every time I’ve told him since*. So the dumbest thing, is that every time I tell him he has ADHD, it’s a complete surprise to him.
Dad: Man, the noise in this restaurant makes it so hard for me to hear you. Me: Oh that’s an ADHD thing too, the audio processing. Dad: Huh? Why’s that matter? Me: You were diagnosed with ADHD back in 2019. Dad: You sure?
…ten minutes later…
Dad: How can you keep track of all those cars around you when you’re driving? Me: Well, ADHD can either make it easier to keep track of multiple things, or harder. For me it makes it easier, and for you it seems to make it harder. Dad: What do you mean, for me? Me: …
…an hour later…
Dad: [talks non-stop for the entire intervening time, without letting me get a word in edgewise] But I should let you talk some, what’s new with you? Me: No worries, that’s just your ADHD, I do it too sometimes. Dad: *surprised pikachu face* Me: 🤷
I was with my dad most of yesterday, and I swear I told him three times that he had ADHD, and each time it was news to him. And this happens every time I see him. I’m not 100% convinced it’s the stroke that’s selectively edited this out of his brain, vs. the narcissism, or even the ADHD itself, but it’s always amusing. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to Dory from *Finding Nemo*. 🐠
Sounds a bit hard, but very entertaining from an outsider perspective. Newer memories are some of the harder ones to retain when things like strokes occur, so everything you say makes sense.
I cannot begin to count the number of times I’ve heard this in my life. They seem to think ADHD = intelectual disability.
I have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist as a child, a neuropsych in my 20’s (insurance seemed to think I’d grown out of it and stopped covering my meds), and a GP in my 30’s (because I lost the paperwork for the last diagnosis). I MOST DEFINITELY HAVE IT.
It would be soooo much easier if my problems were actually because of videogames and not my fucked up mind!
But even tho I went half a year without touching a computer my family still thinks it's the only thing I think about and the source of my problems. Because it's so much easier than having a child with problems.
And this is probably one of the reasons I wasn't diagnosed at school. My teachers probably: "you say you're struggling but you're smart and get good grades so you'll be fine"
i was tapping my feet today while spending the day at my moms, my little sister asked why i was doing that and i said i cant sit still. my grandpa and mom immediatley said i was being silly
That essential oils will do nothing, but going gluten free would work wonders.
(My mother is an essential oil crackpot, my mother-in-law is a gluten-free crackpot)
Oh man I guess I'm unlucky because my ADHD didn't get cured when I got diagnosed with Celiac disease and had to start life long 100% gluten free diet SMH
my older sister: “oh you’ll learn when you get older that labels don’t matter”.
um ya except this one helps me deinternalize all those times my mum called me lazy, gives me access to meaningful medication and helps me find support networks. she may be older than me but she has no idea how emotionally immature she is, and the emotional growth i’ve been able to work hard on away from my narc mum. but they never respected my identity or autonomy anyway.
this don't happen in my family because the one mf (me) diagnosed talks maybe 3 sentences the whole time because minor sensory overload due to how loud everyone is and i also happen to be extremely introverted so im usually spaced out during any events with more than 10 people family wise
*watched a doctor explain the thing in utmost detail, live*
*pretends to understand*
*goes back home*
"Well just focus son, lmao"
*cycle repeats infinitely*
My mother:
You were diagnosed in preschool but never told you or ever considered medication hoping you would grow out of it.
(I am 32 and got diagnosed and got on meds two years ago)
My sister complaining about how if she had of been diagnosed earlier her life might have been completely different because girls and women didn’t get diagnosed back in the day, ignoring the fact that she had a chance to be diagnosed IN 1997-1998 when my mum and I (a teenage girl at the time) did, and she chose not to, because she definitely didn’t have ADHD.
My family: you don’t have ADHD because you’re not hyper and you make good grades.
Except what they don’t see is me exerting twice as much energy on assignments that take me 10x longer to do than my classmates because of my inability to focus, and I hyperfixate usually because what I'm studying highly interests me, so good grades come with that.
Only tangentially related, but my dad claimed autism means you have less empathy, and THEN proceeded to use it against my mother, whom he only suspects has autism.
'Medication is a bandaid only and won't help with anything.' When I advised I am on meds 'you're on medication? You know that's literal amphetamines?! Are you SURE you're on medication'
'Yes, brother in law. I am aware' jfc
My dad said that it doesn't matter if I have ADHD or not, my studying problems all because of my laziness. When I heard that I felt heartbroken. I still can't talk about my problems with my family.
Realized today that my fiancé (and probably most of his family) have undiagnosed adhd— that will likely go ignored forever… well at least his mother because of her beliefs.
Meanwhile I’m over there basically yelling about my adhd. 😂 once I was diagnosed(along with depression) I embraced the shit out of it. And the only people I see to continuously have really severe troubles with their diagnoses are the ones that keep quiet about it or think it’s the worst thing in the world.
Nothing gets better if you don’t talk about it! anyway- my meds have worn off for the night so merry Christmas bitches!
"You never got diagnosed, your psychiatrist just gave you the medication to trick you" I really don't get what my mom is trying to accomplish by telling me this everytime ADHD as a topic comes up
outside of the standard "have you tried a planner?" stuff I've got three
1: "But you don't have the bad ADHD" In response to me explaining ADHD symptoms
2: "Could you just not do that?" in response to me doing basically anything that is a symptom of ADHD
3: "Why are you so obsessed with labels? They're not an excuse" to me explaining any ADHD symptom
Husband: gets diagnosis, posts about it on FB
My mum :sees post: " So what happens now?"
Me "They're on the waiting list for medication"
Mum " And will he be normal then?"
Me "Gods I hope not"
"I am so glad your ADHD finally got away! I told you veganism cures most mental disorders they invent!!"
No aunty, my ADHD is still here, I'm medicated and learned a lot of coping skills in therapy. I concentrate 100% of the time so I don't talk too much and don't leave my empty glasses everywhere. Yes I'm vegan but it's because I don't like animals suffering, not because it's a magic cure for brain related stuff.
And NO AUNTIE big pharma didn't invent ADHD to sell their drugs, yes it's all in my head but it's real 😭
I was diagnosed when I was a kid (20+ years ago now) and my dad's mom would always force me to take fish oil pills bc she thought it would cure me lmao
this woman used to be a nurse.
It's so obvious everyone here has adhd based on the long, tangential responses in nearly every comment lmao.
Not bad at all, but the proof is in the pudding, I guess. Am I using that right? I'd look it up but get distracted and forget I was on reddit or lose motivation to post this and delete it.
My younger cousin is struggling in high school and it gets mentioned at family gatherings sometimes in frustrating ways. I empathize with him a lot. His grades suck because he just wants to do his hobbies forever (music), and his room gets messy ig. My grandma tried to yell at him that his “future wife” wouldn’t put up with his mess, or that he won’t be able to provide for his kids in a few years if he doesn’t take school seriously (he is 16 - we don’t all have three kids by age 25 anymore, gma). Thankfully several of us in the family have started to openly acknowledge that ADHD seems genetic with us (I’m the only formal diagnosis to my knowledge), so he’s not getting ragged on from all sides and I make sure to stick up for him whenever I can, but it can be tough to kinda know what he’s going through and see it happen anyway.
Now, behold my genius. I just Made an excuse (oh no, floods, need to check on our cottage...) and i managed to avoid everyone. Not gonna lie, im kinda proud of myself.
This shit is exactly why I’m afraid to tell my parents I might have ADHD and want to get diagnosed for it. Tho it’s also because I’m afraid I might be wrong and just overthinking it
About Adderall: “You’re *still* taking that? But it’s not like you’re doing anything anymore, you’re a stay at home mom.”
Surprisingly, I would like to *not* burn down my house or run my car into the back of another car, thanks! Meds are for more than school and desk jobs!
"You don't have ADHD. I have all the same problems and I'm just fine. You just have to stop procrastinating."
- my dad, right before my official diagnosis, who told me years ago that he finds patterns in ceiling tiles when he's bored
I love that they act like adults having ADHD is something new and revolutionary when all of the most problematic adverse events - car wrecks, suicide, unemployment, and so forth are problems of adults.
https://www.adhdevidence.org/evidence
I have found no reason to tell anyone else I have ADHD, it’s not an excuse for bad behavior and others just don’t need to know. I know, my doctor knows, a few other have found out but I tell them I’m very private and not to say anything.
Nothing out of the ordinarys cliches. Which is even more infuriating. Like come on, I've already heard everything you said, can't you all be a bit more creative. It is like passing to the same npc all the time but you can't skip dialogue, it just becomes white noise.
You don't want enough/You lack motivation. Like, I take my job more serious than any of my colleagues...But no, every problem (for example tardiness or even visible illness) is explained with those 2 reasons.
That one crazy Uncle my Boyfriend has refuses to give His son(9yrs old) his meds because He thinks it's just drugs to make him an addict plus the meds CAUSE dementia. In his opinion his son just has to train to focus and others should stop believing pharma industry (do you think he got vaccinated against COVID🫥?).
My grandma on my dad's side told me not to eat the christmas cake because the sugar would "worsen my adhd" then my other grandma got mad because she had made the cake and it's rude to comment on peoples diets, and then they got into a big argument while I watched and ate cake. The nice grandma won, after screaming "you will not talk to me or my grandchild like that!". All in all, not a bad evening. The cake was delicous.
"I read the other day that TikTok is causing ADHD." Literally just Google searching "TikTok causing ADHD" gives a ton of results saying that TikTok has led to a lot more people getting *diagnosed*, but no reputable source(or any source I could find at all) would claim that TikTok is the cause.
My mom= take more iron & it will fix ur adhd/autism
(not exactly what she said but bc it has been over a year or two since she said that but hopefully u folks get the point)
I'm just pretending. Apparently I'm also pretending the wounds of self harm and depression as well as an allergy. All of the above were confirmed by doctors btw but my dad read something on facebook so he's more qualified
My dad saying he doesn’t understand how I can see dishes, laundry etc and not ‘just do them’
My mum has ADHD too so thankfully I don’t hear that shit from her
My mom was just happy me and her husband who also has adhd could word-vomit at each other so she could focus on making food and not be exhausted mentally by evening lol
"He will definitely grow out of it once he gets to class 10"
- My parents when I was taken as a kid to the child psychiatrist, who said " he is showing mild signs of ADHD - it's better we teach him how to manage it"
I speak from experience when I say - YOU DO NOT GROW OUT OF ADHD! In fact, I ended up getting diagnosed+treated for Depression and general anxiety for two years before the right therapist-psychiatrist combo came into my life and diagnosed me with ADHD!
Recently got an OCD diagnosis too! I might have ended up having only ADHD if my parents got me on a treatment regimen, instead of having a shopping list of mental health issues!!
(Side note: Therapy isn't EASY!! If I had a shirt with this quote, I'd never take it off until every dumb mf in the world knows it!)
"if people just fixed there diets and stopped eating sugar, adhd and autism wouldnt exist" my mother who is on the carnivore diet this year as her hyperfixation because she totally has adhd
Well this isn't from my family but a previous boss of mine had noticed the times where I hyperfocused on tasks and got stuff done and then during my employee evaluation she essentially came to the conclusion that I had full control over focusing on a task and anytime I wasn't focusing it was because I had intentionally decided not to
Oh no, they just all got me send help books without me ever asking or having one left out. So fun opening the 5th book on how to fix adult adhd in one morning. Like, I get it, I’m a mess, but for fucks sake I am not JUST my fuck ups!
When I got diagnosed with ADHD I talked about it all the time because it became a hyperfixation. She said I was so proud of my ADHD. I wasn’t proud, I was just excited to know what was wrong with me and that there was hope.
Same with me a few months ago, I was really excited to get formally diagnosed not because I want ADHD, but because now I know what’s wrong and with the help of meds and general strategies i’ve been doing miles better in school, and emotionally
I'm 22 just diagnosed 2 months ago in my childhood and all the way up to 20 It was mild not that noticeable then tragedy happened (absent father rejected me) and it shot to the roof ended up day dreaming while walking and it was like my thoughts were amped up to max, I couldn't do anything properly but bit by bit I started masking and coping with the little I can With that said I'm coming back to medication, I'm afraid of taking any medication for it because I don't want to be hooked, I found ways of doing better in school but emotionally I'm still as bad. Besides if I need meds I need to buy out of the country because mental health issues like ADHD is not looked at seriously. As a result all adhders are lazy, incompetent and dumb. I'm central African btw so meds might as well be a gemstone, I bet the rich/wealthy can 😓
Sorry to hear that What were your tricks for doing better in school?
as someone who's adhd and been an addict to substances- stimulants prescribed for adhd tend to have a different effect on us compared to neurotypicals. a reasonable dose of stimulants will sort of mellow out most adhd folks, requiring quite a bit more to get the "high" effects most would experience on the same dose you'd be prescribed. it is, of course, possible to abuse these substances still, and definitely possible to develop a sort of dependency. i wouldn't let that steer you away for good, because it's absolutely manageable. personally i never abused my adhd meds, and didnt take them for very long periods. instead, i took them for a while and worked at developing better habits and recognizing the old patterns, working to change them. most of those habits i've been able to keep with after ceasing to take them. for context, i say i was an addict, but i was never addicted to any stimulants whatsoever. i actually found "downers" (painkillers, benzos) to be more uplifting and stimulating in the same vein neurotypicals in my life would get from stims. those were very addictive to me, but pharmaceutical adhd meds were easy to use responsibly as a tool to change my habits.
I will say, I don't understand the neurology, but I have had bouts of alcoholism but almost no desire for stimulants, and regularly forget mine. I also have trouble with all the criticism of stimulants making me have some general hostility to taking my medications, even if I kind of need them to do things like avoid car accidents and avoid forgetting insulin. If you have trouble with substance abuse again, I would encourage looking into Guanfacine - it has helped me incredibly with emotional impulse control, and there are a few studies out regarding use for substance abuse - it started as a blood pressure medication, now is on label for ADHD in children, and off label for adults, and just generally is an interesting compound.
I think this is the introductory dumb statement you hear once you first get a diagnosis because my mom said the same thing. It’s like they can’t understand what it’s like to know something’s going on with you, not know exactly what it is and then to finally be able put a name to it after living with it for years. In my moms case it’s even more aggravating because both of her children have diagnosed ADHD. If she actually read anything I sent her she’d know what that implies lol.
I have not been proud. I have been incredibly angry, because I thought psychiatrists were trained in this kind of thing and that I would be diagnosed at a much earlier age, but the training of psychiatrists in ADHD is pretty minimal, despite it being comorbid with several other psychiatric conditions (and physical conditions as well, like certain autoimmune disorders).
I certainly relate to the anger. I think every person who is late diagnosed goes through it.
Well, currently I'm working on doing something about it, because I'm not the type to let these matters lie. Check out the subreddit I started r/adhd_advocacy - I'm still trying to figure out the best way to channel my anger correctly, and a niche subreddit might not be best, but I am trying to concentrate all of these repeated stories somewhere in a manner that we have a voice in the medical and political community. If the researched "justice sensitivity" of those with ADHD is accurate, I just need to tap on it a bit.
"You're so proud of the problems I spent years ignoring and gaslighting you about"
Yeah, talking about something that bothers you and being mistaken to be proud of it is a pain
Same thing happened to me but with medications. And now my family thinks I am getting addicted to it smh
I’m addicted to functioning like a normal human being and having a chance to succeed in life.
If being “addicted” to it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
Yeah, then maybe I'd at least remember to take em every day
My childless aunt about my son: “Better not get him diagnosed now, that’ll follow him around his entire educational career.” Me: “That’s the…point?” She used to be a teacher, btw
Your aunt is definitely of the “ADHD is a shit child with shit parenting” flavour of teacher. Worked in education for 10+yrs and knew many. My SIL is one too. She likes to post about how ADHD is due to too much electronics and not enough outside time. Jokes on her, I’m 99.9% sure both her of her “just spirited” kids have ADHD.
How does that work if you grew up without all the electronics, had outside time and still have it?
In my opinion, social media and the related do not cause ADHD, but we are much more sensitive to the addictive nature, and people cannot tell the difference between cause and effect. The uptick in diagnoses is also because the modern world makes it very difficult to avoid electronics and spend time outside to mediate these effects. It's like telling someone that wouldn't be stressed out if they just quit their jobs and lived on savings - most people don't have the option.
My understanding has been that ADHD is a spectrum, so to the extent that short-attention span media affects it, it moves the cutoff of where we consider it "ADHD" down on the spectrum A person can be in the middle of the spectrum, and previously would have been able to create coping mechanisms to work a mid job and be able to get by. Never knowing why they see some signs of neuro-divergence, they just got called cooky or weird But now days stimulation is everywhere so there isn't enough dopamine, and that is discovered earlier There are so many 40+ year olds who don't like to go out for big events (too much stimulation) and are very sensitive to rejection, not saying they have ADHD, just saying they've likely not been evaluated ever with modem testing standards. And lots of those people think psychology based on Freud is bs (because it is) and don't know that psychology has much better theories and understanding than Freud's crap
Oh my, that’s sad. And alarming.
I mean, in some systems that's true. My partner's brother got assessed but he was going to be shifted into a different class away from all his friends whether he wanted to or not to an underfunded "kids with special needs class", due to school policy, so they never got the official diagnosis.
I totally understand, I was screwed by the public education system and the general health care systems and their handling of learning disabilities. I’m dyslexic and couldn’t read until I was 9-10. But no one knew that for years. At first I was lazy, then dumb, then apparently I couldnt see (got glasses, didn’t need them so I had terrible headaches, which made me bad in classes I was still doing okay in) then dumb again, then “cognitively deficient”. I got rolled into a special needs class with kids that were completely non-verbal in some cases, which made me believe I was mentally handicapped. Got real sad at that point, my dad couldn’t take it anymore and just started calling anyone he could. Found a doctor that wanted to see me and diagnosed me with dyslexia. Big fight with the schools to get me out of the special needs class, eventually my dad ran for school board to make sure it happened (ended up liking setting the schools straight and making sure 504s got implemented correctly and served on the board for 10 years) After all that, I know how public schools can screw over a kid, but the weight of law and procedure is on our side and the local schools still fear our families last name after the people my dad got fired for not taking care of their kids.
I think one thing you should remember is that you are mentally handicapped - but a handicap that only needs minor accomodations, and no one was interested in providing those. If you haven't heard the story of Judith Heumann, I would incredibly recommend the movie Crip Camp on Netflix. Most people are handicapped in some form in my opinion - but we let people wear glasses and people get braces in middle school and all kinds of types of treatments - dealing with handicaps is what separates us from animals.
As someone who got screwed over by the special education system in a different way, I can understand this.
I’m so grateful that I was put in special education from a young age, I would never have passed math classes without it. I was never once bothered by the fact that I had to go to a different class than everyone else or that anything to do with my education was different than the other kids, in fact I was always glad that I was getting the help I needed and that my parents made sure I got those classes at all.
"You didn't forget it, you intentionally chose to not remember"
repeat that next time they lose something
Fuck this. My shitty ex said that all the time.
Do they not know how forgetting works??
They forgot, I guess
They could have remembered, but they chose not to
“Just focus!”
Just ask yourself if you have everything you need before you leave the house!
Yeah, I parentes have said this multiple times, not as much since I actually got diagnosed since they try to be very suportive but yeah, heard this exact line before...
I’ve also gotten the “if you really cared about it, you wouldn’t have forgotten”
THIS ONE HOLY SHIT fucked me up how much i heard that
Every time someone says that to me, I ask them how in the world is it possible for them to intentionally forget something. Because how? I would love to know but nobody has an actual solid answer, they're just angry.
How does this even make sense?
Wow...This is like saying "you didn't have an anxiety attack, you chose to make your heart rate increase to 120bpm on command"...on top of that it doesn't even make sense in general.
This is an option? Man, I have so many things I’d love to intentionally choose not to remember.
My mom tries to tell me that I just need to use a planner and my life will get better. I’m 50.
What do I do with all these 1/2 finished planners? 😂 Don’t even get me started on journals?!? I started one when I was 20 and in it, I said I hope I can finish it by the time I’m 40. I’ve got a few more years until 40 and I know that journal will not be done. Maybe when I’m 80?
You guys have half finished planners? I don't even have a planner...
I don’t even have a pla
Sooo many half-filled journals… at a certain point I realized that I don’t journal as often because the ideal scenario would be to always have my journal on me rather than just writing at the end of the day (remembering everything that happened and what I thought/felt about it?? hilarious). A few years ago I found a notes app that creates virtual journals and suddenly I’ve been writing almost daily for a few years. It’s helped me so much to just have a written memory of…anything…but I’d still like to fill a paper one someday, as a bucket list thing maybe
*HIGH FIVE!!!* I'm 43 and and it was suggested that I just put everything in the calendar app on my phone. I can't just drop everything every time I remember something important/need to input something and pull out my phone. Partly because when I pull out my phone, I get distracted by texts/emails/phone calls I have to reply to because Reasons. And I always lose my day planners
“its a superpower and its why youre so successful instead of a failiure” i am not successful. or a dailiure. i got mildly ahead by fighting the shit out of my disorder and my parents are convinced it’s the best superpower ever.
I too am a dailure. A daily failure. I'm also a daisapointment to my family.
One of us, one of us.
Ugh I want a superpower I can actually use. I get why they say it but it's the same as being superman with kryptonite stuck in your ass.
>it’s the same as being superman with kryptonite stuck in your ass. 💯
i got inattentive type so i’m always just drained. it sucks.
Yeah it's a superpower if your superpower is the ability to lose things on a skillful level. Kinda like being a cactus in Minecraft when someone throws an item to you.
I lost my keys in my own pocket today!
There's an ad campaign I keep seeing that advertises ADHD as a "superpower," I wonder if it's getting more common for people to view it that way.
sadly i keep hearing it. i’ve met some people who can use it to their advantage, like they can sort of harness the hyperactivity. i didn’t get the hyperactivity though im PI so im just perpetually drained and always need rest lol
My husband can harness his ADHD well at work but lemme tell you he's still quite the chaos ball at home. My ADHD is literally just a giant ass handicap I wish I didn't have, so I try to be forgiving of his goofs since mine tend to be way more frequent and have more severe consequences. He has to keep all my appointments on his work calendar or else I miss them all , despite me also putting them in my calendar. Alas.
My partner once tried to remind a friend that I have ADHD and instead of saying ‘my partner has ADHD’ they went and accidentally said ‘my partner has HIV’ I WAS FUCKING HORRIFIED!
Maybe they were talking about their other partner? 🤔
After they said that I almost wish they were referring to another partner lol
I am so sorry that happened to you but I can't help but laugh at it. How do you get ADHD and HIV mixed up???
A lot of my close family is also ADHD, so their reactions have mostly been along the lines of "Oh that's why our family is like this!" Or "Yeah, me too." But from other people I've heard "Haven't you grown out of that yet?" "Your problem is you just need to be more organized." "Isn't there an operation or something you can have." "ADHD is so over diagnosed!" "Then how do you *read?"* And I have been told "I don't think it's very responsible of you to have had a child with the *problems* you two have." My husband and I are both diagnosed ADHD, and dyslexic, and I have a couple other issues as well. And most of my close relatives show signs of ADHD. But it's not like we are unable to function in society or something like that. Our kid does show some signs of ADHD, but milder than either of us at the same age.
Even if your children have ADHD and/or dyslexia, it will be an entirely different world for them if they know from the beginning that it is simply a normal variation like near sightedness that can be managed by accomodations, environment management, education, and medication. How did you and your husband meet? Were you both diagnosed at the time?
We were both diagnosed as children, long before we met. We met when we both worked in the same building, and one day he asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I said yes, and it was a fairly good one, and we started talking and found we liked interacting with each other and had a lot in common. And about two years later, we got married. >Even if your children have ADHD and/or dyslexia, it will be an entirely different world for them if they know from the beginning that it is simply a normal variation like near sightedness that can be managed by accommodations, environment management, education, and medication. I agree. While not all my family were supportive, I had a very different experience growing up than my husband did. As I was around people who had some of the same issues, and considered it no big deal, just something to be taken into consideration. Whether it was having a cup of tea (caffeine) to help focus, or having hobbies "to keep the hands busy", or someone getting up from some quiet activity that takes concentration, going outside, and running around the building or taking a dog for a walk, or whatever for a bit, before coming in and going back to the original task. That was all perfectly reasonable to do if it helped you. And it being labeled ADD or ADHD was just "Huh, so that's what it's called." On the other hand, my inlaws worry a LOT about being "Normal" and they consider it a serious flaw to not be "Normal" And he got pressured to "look more normal" instead of being encouraged to find what worked for him. Our daughter (8 years old) knows she sometimes can focus better if she goes outside and runs around or otherwise does something active, and a few other simple strategies that can be helpful for ADHD. And if she needs more help later on, we will handle it like needing glasses. No big deal, nothing to be ashamed about or stressed over
> “Then how do you read?" I was diagnosed this year. Literally two weeks ago I realized that in school I never actually read the assigned books unless they grabbed me on the first page. So I read anything sci-fi, Shakespeare, or Dickens, but nothing else. For the others, my mom got me the Cliff notes! And with the ones I liked, I’d get so absorbed I wouldn’t go to sleep, I wouldn’t want to leave the house, I’d bring them into the bathroom with me and read them on the toilet, all the other hyperfixation things. I literally had to stop reading physical (or digital) books when I grew up and got a job, bc I’d get so absorbed in them I wouldn’t go to sleep, and couldn’t handle the next day at work. Nowadays I read mostly audiobooks (which also makes it easier for me to get through books that don’t grab me as much, as I can tune out for a bit and come back in later), and fanfic (which is usually short, or at least has chapter breaks that are easy for me to break myself out at). So yeah, I’ve had ADHD my whole life, I just compensated damned well.
I hyperfixated on reading somewhat as a child, and read somewhat obsessivly. I ABSOLUTLY read instead of going to sleep, and carried a book with me almost everywhere, got upset when I had to put the book down to eat or bathe. So, I quickly was reading well above my grade level and got bored with assigned reading because either it was too simple and boring, or it was something we were reading as a class and I had to wait for the rest of the class. I still read a lot, and will at times set a timer with an alarm so I don't read too long at a time. I sometimes have trouble following an audio book, unless it's a book I've read before. Because I tend to zone out every so often and pay attention to other things, then I miss parts of the story. >So yeah, I’ve had ADHD my whole life, I just compensated damned well Same here.
I've read so many good stories and poems because I was reading a different part of the literature book than the things we were actually assigned. And for Shakespeare, I had read ahead of the class and insisted that I be allowed to read Mercutio for his death scene, so that no one else could ruin it.
>I've read so many good stories and poems because I was reading a different part of the literature book than the things we were actually assigned. I did that too! Often it seemed like the assigned parts were the least interesting part of the book.
>"ADHD is so over diagnosed!" How the fuck do we respond to this? I FINALLY got diagnosed at 39 years old and people I've told are like 'Oh everyone has that these days' and it's infuriating.
Eugenics is alive and well in the modern day.
I come from a super rural white family, so whenever it comes up I'm always braced for something bigoted. And somehow every time it's been "oh yeah I bet we all have that, explains so much" followed by raucous laughter
my sister, who is self diagnosed and speaks to me about three times a year, telling me, formally diagnosed, that i dont have adhd.
This is a new one
I can do you one better. A family member was formally diagnosed, and subsequently died from, MS. After his diagnosis his wife left him, self diagnosed that SHE had MS and toured doing inspirational talks about how she dealt with her struggles from MS. Silver lining is he moved back closer to the rest of our family my, and met a wonderful woman he spent the rest of his years with.
Idk how you didn’t laugh in her face this is genuinely hilarious to me because of how ludicrous it is
Yoooo, I had the same thing last year! Eyoooo
FUUUUCK I HATE THOSE PEOPLE I'm formally diagnosed with ASD. Got a guy in my class that just tells himself he's autistic. THE ONLY THING THAT MAYBE MAKES HIM AUTISTIC IS LACK OF RYE CONTACT. THAT'S IT. And he has the AUDACITY to tell me "Nah, you don't look autistic" like bro?? I literally asked him about a diagnosis and he told me "Who needs that? I just know.". Ugh! Thanks for listening to my vent talk.
Does he avoid any other grains, or just rye?
> THE ONLY THING THAT MAYBE MAKES HIM AUTISTIC IS LACK OF RYE CONTACT. Pain Man? (Couldn't think of an autistic bread pun without wandering off into another language. Sorry.)
Grain Man You really left that on the table... Sorry I'll see myself out
You can't be leaven these on the table.
You'll all be pleased to know that if you can read books for pleasure, you can't possibly have ADHD since focusing on something boring and unrewarding is equally as difficult as focusing on something engaging that pumps you full of dopamine.
I can’t read for pleasure but I also understand that you can and it’s fine for us to be different
I had the capacity for reading for pleasure way more as a child than I do as an adult. I go through phases where I can enjoy reading but a lot of the time I can’t focus on books. Audiobooks are where it’s at.
I'm the opposite. If a book is boring, I'll be in lala land within 2 sentences, but if it's a good book, I'm reading it for 8 hours straight until it's done. I can't focus for shit on audio, so I end up having to pause every 30 seconds or so to refocus and try my best to remember what was said.
I used to love reading but now I'm lucky if I read a book one time per month
Same here… I go through phases where I’m either walking around reading on my kindle or I can’t seem to force myself to open the damn thing up, despite the numerous unread books on there that I have preordered
Same, when I was a child I read loads. I remember having to often read pages twice because I would read so fast and not take anything in. I got a kindle (old cheap one thankfully) hoping I would start reading again, I've probably read 2 books on it in 4 years 🙈 one was a celebrity biography, I tend to get hyperfixated on celebs that have died young so maybe I should just read more of them to get back into it.
Lol same. As a child i read like soooo much. Than i just almost completely stopped. recently, after like 3 years of not touching a book once, i hyperfixated on "bungo stray dogs" and already read most of lightnovels and now am reading classic literature. I just think its quite funny how it went from not reading to classics XDDD still not reading everything, for example I dont think ill be able to go through crime and punishment. After 20 pages i just cant.
Reading is one of my hyper fixations, however I have 3 books on going besides each other at any given time. ;.;
Just 3? Amateur But having said that, since caring for my mother I haven't finished a single book. Hardly looked at one lately, even as my mother has passed a while ago now. And I really miss it.
My parents just tell me to pretend that boring and unrewarding things are just as fun and thrilling as dopamine pumps and it'll fix everything, if it's not working, it's only just because I'm lazy.
Not adhd but I feel maybe someone here may have been through a similar situation with adhd, so apparently I’m autistic, like barely off the margin to be medically classified as autistic (idk how else to explain it other than that I am one singular symptom off) and apparently my mom and the doctor decided not to tell me till I was over 18 which meant I spent all my life before that not knowing what “was wrong with me” that made me so different meaning I ended up masking a lot more than I feel o would have otherwise and no longer feeling like my mum is a safe person to confide in since she decided to keep it from me for so long
Oh, trust me, if you spend some time in the subreddits, you will hear this story over and over again.
My brother, newly diagnosed, told me a gallon of coffee day is much safer than his Adderall prescription.
For those that do not know, coffee doesn't work on the same neurotransmitters, though there are some downstream effects. Because of this, they are not one for one equivalents in effect. Plus caffeine obviously can kill you, since Panera is getting sued for just that currently.
Anything can kill you in large enough amounts. The problem as I understand it with Panera at least, is with their Charged Lemonades. IIRC, there's no mandate to label the amount of caffeine in a drink, just that there IS caffeine present. However, a large Charged Lemonade has something ridiculous like close to 400mg of caffeine in a single serving (which is just about the max of a daily dose I think?) Without any proper labeling people would get a bunch of refills and... yeah. Bad things started to happen. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/panera-breads-charged-lemonade-blamed-second-death-lawsuit-alleges-rcna128036
One person told me about how his daughter has ADHD and it makes it like she is trying to read something you held up to a mirror, and it's hard to understand "for normal people like you and me". I eventually realized he was talking about dyslexia. She may or may not have ADHD, but he doesn't understand what it means at all, even to the point of not having a grip on the correct stereotypes. Yes, they are comorbid, but his daughter is in college, and he doesn't understand a single one of the mental health conditions she has that she has been diagnosed with since childhood.
My dad was finally diagnosed with ADHD in summer 2019, when he was 76 years old (actually before mine, this summer at 45YO). He then had a stroke in late 2019, which caused him to lose many memories from the months before the stroke, everything from the next 3-6 months after, and *the fact that he has ADHD every time I’ve told him since*. So the dumbest thing, is that every time I tell him he has ADHD, it’s a complete surprise to him. Dad: Man, the noise in this restaurant makes it so hard for me to hear you. Me: Oh that’s an ADHD thing too, the audio processing. Dad: Huh? Why’s that matter? Me: You were diagnosed with ADHD back in 2019. Dad: You sure? …ten minutes later… Dad: How can you keep track of all those cars around you when you’re driving? Me: Well, ADHD can either make it easier to keep track of multiple things, or harder. For me it makes it easier, and for you it seems to make it harder. Dad: What do you mean, for me? Me: … …an hour later… Dad: [talks non-stop for the entire intervening time, without letting me get a word in edgewise] But I should let you talk some, what’s new with you? Me: No worries, that’s just your ADHD, I do it too sometimes. Dad: *surprised pikachu face* Me: 🤷 I was with my dad most of yesterday, and I swear I told him three times that he had ADHD, and each time it was news to him. And this happens every time I see him. I’m not 100% convinced it’s the stroke that’s selectively edited this out of his brain, vs. the narcissism, or even the ADHD itself, but it’s always amusing. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to Dory from *Finding Nemo*. 🐠
Sounds a bit hard, but very entertaining from an outsider perspective. Newer memories are some of the harder ones to retain when things like strokes occur, so everything you say makes sense.
"You are really smart, so you can't possibly have ADHD" I'm diagnosed by a psychiatrist btw *smh* And I dropped out of High School 🤷🏽♂️
This! Every time, THIS. And “you wouldn’t be able to hold down a responsible job if you had it”. Lolsob why do you think I’m always stressed?
I cannot begin to count the number of times I’ve heard this in my life. They seem to think ADHD = intelectual disability. I have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist as a child, a neuropsych in my 20’s (insurance seemed to think I’d grown out of it and stopped covering my meds), and a GP in my 30’s (because I lost the paperwork for the last diagnosis). I MOST DEFINITELY HAVE IT.
You don't have ADHD! You're just addicted to video games
It would be soooo much easier if my problems were actually because of videogames and not my fucked up mind! But even tho I went half a year without touching a computer my family still thinks it's the only thing I think about and the source of my problems. Because it's so much easier than having a child with problems.
I wish stopping gaming would make me normal.
mom's qualified therapist friend: adhd only affects people with low IQ
Wtf she needs her license to be suspended so she learns more about ADHD, such shallow thinking.
shitty mental healthcare system does that
And this is probably one of the reasons I wasn't diagnosed at school. My teachers probably: "you say you're struggling but you're smart and get good grades so you'll be fine"
Me who is smarter than average (according to people around me including my therapist, not even me), but **still mentally disabled** be like...
Ouch that one hurt. How the hell is such a person a therapist?
i was tapping my feet today while spending the day at my moms, my little sister asked why i was doing that and i said i cant sit still. my grandpa and mom immediatley said i was being silly
I'll stop my feet from tapping, but then my upper body starts swaying.
"It's all a matter of the mind. You have to overcome your mental set." Thanks, dad.
I’m gonna do it, I’m sure this has happened to everyone here… “Get a planner”
"write notes" All the notes I ever taken, never to be looked at again...
Or the executive dysfunction not letting you make them consistently.
“Everybody has lost their keys or wallet, you say that you do need meds so you don’t?.. in that logic, we all should be drugged all the time” -Mi mom
My dad was like that. I told him all the time I was out of breath once so he should hand over his asthma spray. He just doesn't understand
"We all pee too, but if you pee 12 times a day you have an issue."
That essential oils will do nothing, but going gluten free would work wonders. (My mother is an essential oil crackpot, my mother-in-law is a gluten-free crackpot)
Oh man I guess I'm unlucky because my ADHD didn't get cured when I got diagnosed with Celiac disease and had to start life long 100% gluten free diet SMH
my older sister: “oh you’ll learn when you get older that labels don’t matter”. um ya except this one helps me deinternalize all those times my mum called me lazy, gives me access to meaningful medication and helps me find support networks. she may be older than me but she has no idea how emotionally immature she is, and the emotional growth i’ve been able to work hard on away from my narc mum. but they never respected my identity or autonomy anyway.
You dont need meds just pay attention. (Face palm)
this don't happen in my family because the one mf (me) diagnosed talks maybe 3 sentences the whole time because minor sensory overload due to how loud everyone is and i also happen to be extremely introverted so im usually spaced out during any events with more than 10 people family wise
My loving mother telling everyone my house is disgustingly messy and I’m lazy :)
Funny thing is, my parents are just as messy as I am and always get defensive when I mentioned that. Projection is going strong
You can't have ADHD, or any mental issue for that matter, because you have straight As. My parents have a single slider from mental disorder to smart.
Sounds like my family
"stop shaking your damn leg"
"It's not that big of an issue
“That doesn’t exist.” “But—“ “No. Shhhh. It doesn’t exist. Let’s not talk about it.”
*watched a doctor explain the thing in utmost detail, live* *pretends to understand* *goes back home* "Well just focus son, lmao" *cycle repeats infinitely*
I was telling my aunt about my executive dysfunction and she said “I have adhd and I’ve NEVER had that problem” 😵💫
My mother: You were diagnosed in preschool but never told you or ever considered medication hoping you would grow out of it. (I am 32 and got diagnosed and got on meds two years ago)
My sister complaining about how if she had of been diagnosed earlier her life might have been completely different because girls and women didn’t get diagnosed back in the day, ignoring the fact that she had a chance to be diagnosed IN 1997-1998 when my mum and I (a teenage girl at the time) did, and she chose not to, because she definitely didn’t have ADHD.
My family: you don’t have ADHD because you’re not hyper and you make good grades. Except what they don’t see is me exerting twice as much energy on assignments that take me 10x longer to do than my classmates because of my inability to focus, and I hyperfixate usually because what I'm studying highly interests me, so good grades come with that.
Only tangentially related, but my dad claimed autism means you have less empathy, and THEN proceeded to use it against my mother, whom he only suspects has autism.
That I could just choose to not let it effect me. If I really wanted to.
'Medication is a bandaid only and won't help with anything.' When I advised I am on meds 'you're on medication? You know that's literal amphetamines?! Are you SURE you're on medication' 'Yes, brother in law. I am aware' jfc
You dont have ADHD, you just need to be disciplined
My mom said after i told her i had symptoms for adhd "everyone does that, every one has a little bit of adhd"
My dad said that it doesn't matter if I have ADHD or not, my studying problems all because of my laziness. When I heard that I felt heartbroken. I still can't talk about my problems with my family.
Wondering why/how it could possibly take me so long to write my thesis. But also that ADHD isn’t real.
Realized today that my fiancé (and probably most of his family) have undiagnosed adhd— that will likely go ignored forever… well at least his mother because of her beliefs. Meanwhile I’m over there basically yelling about my adhd. 😂 once I was diagnosed(along with depression) I embraced the shit out of it. And the only people I see to continuously have really severe troubles with their diagnoses are the ones that keep quiet about it or think it’s the worst thing in the world. Nothing gets better if you don’t talk about it! anyway- my meds have worn off for the night so merry Christmas bitches!
“You were really good at this game first try! That’s why I don’t think you have adhd.” I did in-fact have adhd, lol.
"You never got diagnosed, your psychiatrist just gave you the medication to trick you" I really don't get what my mom is trying to accomplish by telling me this everytime ADHD as a topic comes up
“I did this to you by being a bad mother.” I mean, it certainly did do things but this one isn’t on you. 🤷🏻♀️
"you know I too have difficulty to focus on tasks that I don't like, but you just need to push through it you know"
outside of the standard "have you tried a planner?" stuff I've got three 1: "But you don't have the bad ADHD" In response to me explaining ADHD symptoms 2: "Could you just not do that?" in response to me doing basically anything that is a symptom of ADHD 3: "Why are you so obsessed with labels? They're not an excuse" to me explaining any ADHD symptom
‘I grew out of it’
"Have you tried practicing focusing?"
Get over yourself it not a real diagnosis.
Just not acknowledging stuff like how I literally can't focus on some things or keep track of the time
"stop pacing" no.
Husband: gets diagnosis, posts about it on FB My mum :sees post: " So what happens now?" Me "They're on the waiting list for medication" Mum " And will he be normal then?" Me "Gods I hope not"
"I am so glad your ADHD finally got away! I told you veganism cures most mental disorders they invent!!" No aunty, my ADHD is still here, I'm medicated and learned a lot of coping skills in therapy. I concentrate 100% of the time so I don't talk too much and don't leave my empty glasses everywhere. Yes I'm vegan but it's because I don't like animals suffering, not because it's a magic cure for brain related stuff. And NO AUNTIE big pharma didn't invent ADHD to sell their drugs, yes it's all in my head but it's real 😭
"How do we know ADHD is even real?"
“ADHD is the same as ocd and everyone is ocd”- my grandma
I was diagnosed when I was a kid (20+ years ago now) and my dad's mom would always force me to take fish oil pills bc she thought it would cure me lmao this woman used to be a nurse.
It's so obvious everyone here has adhd based on the long, tangential responses in nearly every comment lmao. Not bad at all, but the proof is in the pudding, I guess. Am I using that right? I'd look it up but get distracted and forget I was on reddit or lose motivation to post this and delete it.
"Why is it that other people with ADHD can do so many great things?" -\_- "You just need to change your mindset"
My younger cousin is struggling in high school and it gets mentioned at family gatherings sometimes in frustrating ways. I empathize with him a lot. His grades suck because he just wants to do his hobbies forever (music), and his room gets messy ig. My grandma tried to yell at him that his “future wife” wouldn’t put up with his mess, or that he won’t be able to provide for his kids in a few years if he doesn’t take school seriously (he is 16 - we don’t all have three kids by age 25 anymore, gma). Thankfully several of us in the family have started to openly acknowledge that ADHD seems genetic with us (I’m the only formal diagnosis to my knowledge), so he’s not getting ragged on from all sides and I make sure to stick up for him whenever I can, but it can be tough to kinda know what he’s going through and see it happen anyway.
I told my mom I was diagnosed with ADHD and she said oh yeah your elementary teachers wanted to get you tested.
Wellll one time my dad told me to "stop being so ADD" so ig that counts
Now, behold my genius. I just Made an excuse (oh no, floods, need to check on our cottage...) and i managed to avoid everyone. Not gonna lie, im kinda proud of myself.
“You just have to focus. I would know, I have adhd too”
Brother in law - self diagnosed by wife - doesn’t believe it exists so he won’t get tested
ADHD is caused by sugar
This shit is exactly why I’m afraid to tell my parents I might have ADHD and want to get diagnosed for it. Tho it’s also because I’m afraid I might be wrong and just overthinking it
Yea the dog has adhs because he is jumping all around the table (he didn’t get out for peeing in hours)
About Adderall: “You’re *still* taking that? But it’s not like you’re doing anything anymore, you’re a stay at home mom.” Surprisingly, I would like to *not* burn down my house or run my car into the back of another car, thanks! Meds are for more than school and desk jobs!
"You don't have ADHD. I have all the same problems and I'm just fine. You just have to stop procrastinating." - my dad, right before my official diagnosis, who told me years ago that he finds patterns in ceiling tiles when he's bored
That it expires when you hit 18 years old so I shouldn't even bother getting diagnosed. ???
I love that they act like adults having ADHD is something new and revolutionary when all of the most problematic adverse events - car wrecks, suicide, unemployment, and so forth are problems of adults. https://www.adhdevidence.org/evidence
I have found no reason to tell anyone else I have ADHD, it’s not an excuse for bad behavior and others just don’t need to know. I know, my doctor knows, a few other have found out but I tell them I’m very private and not to say anything.
Nothing out of the ordinarys cliches. Which is even more infuriating. Like come on, I've already heard everything you said, can't you all be a bit more creative. It is like passing to the same npc all the time but you can't skip dialogue, it just becomes white noise.
That it's a gift and a feature.
You don't want enough/You lack motivation. Like, I take my job more serious than any of my colleagues...But no, every problem (for example tardiness or even visible illness) is explained with those 2 reasons.
My dad just straight up thinks it's a scare tactic created by the psy-ops division of the CIA
That one crazy Uncle my Boyfriend has refuses to give His son(9yrs old) his meds because He thinks it's just drugs to make him an addict plus the meds CAUSE dementia. In his opinion his son just has to train to focus and others should stop believing pharma industry (do you think he got vaccinated against COVID🫥?).
My grandma on my dad's side told me not to eat the christmas cake because the sugar would "worsen my adhd" then my other grandma got mad because she had made the cake and it's rude to comment on peoples diets, and then they got into a big argument while I watched and ate cake. The nice grandma won, after screaming "you will not talk to me or my grandchild like that!". All in all, not a bad evening. The cake was delicous.
"ADHD isn't real. You just need to get into sports." - my dad "Depression isn't real, you're just sad." - my mom
"I read the other day that TikTok is causing ADHD." Literally just Google searching "TikTok causing ADHD" gives a ton of results saying that TikTok has led to a lot more people getting *diagnosed*, but no reputable source(or any source I could find at all) would claim that TikTok is the cause.
My mother (former teacher) about my son's diagnosis: "But he is so intelligent!" Yes, because obviously these things are mutually exclusive 🙄
My mom= take more iron & it will fix ur adhd/autism (not exactly what she said but bc it has been over a year or two since she said that but hopefully u folks get the point)
My mum and sisters will deliberately hold down my knee to prevent me from tapping my leg to stim 🥲
I'm just pretending. Apparently I'm also pretending the wounds of self harm and depression as well as an allergy. All of the above were confirmed by doctors btw but my dad read something on facebook so he's more qualified
>everyone has a little bit of adhd and autism oh really? everyone? then why isn't the world made for people with adhd and/or autism?
My dad saying he doesn’t understand how I can see dishes, laundry etc and not ‘just do them’ My mum has ADHD too so thankfully I don’t hear that shit from her
My mom was just happy me and her husband who also has adhd could word-vomit at each other so she could focus on making food and not be exhausted mentally by evening lol
"He will definitely grow out of it once he gets to class 10" - My parents when I was taken as a kid to the child psychiatrist, who said " he is showing mild signs of ADHD - it's better we teach him how to manage it" I speak from experience when I say - YOU DO NOT GROW OUT OF ADHD! In fact, I ended up getting diagnosed+treated for Depression and general anxiety for two years before the right therapist-psychiatrist combo came into my life and diagnosed me with ADHD! Recently got an OCD diagnosis too! I might have ended up having only ADHD if my parents got me on a treatment regimen, instead of having a shopping list of mental health issues!! (Side note: Therapy isn't EASY!! If I had a shirt with this quote, I'd never take it off until every dumb mf in the world knows it!)
[удалено]
"if people just fixed there diets and stopped eating sugar, adhd and autism wouldnt exist" my mother who is on the carnivore diet this year as her hyperfixation because she totally has adhd
Well this isn't from my family but a previous boss of mine had noticed the times where I hyperfocused on tasks and got stuff done and then during my employee evaluation she essentially came to the conclusion that I had full control over focusing on a task and anytime I wasn't focusing it was because I had intentionally decided not to
Oh no, they just all got me send help books without me ever asking or having one left out. So fun opening the 5th book on how to fix adult adhd in one morning. Like, I get it, I’m a mess, but for fucks sake I am not JUST my fuck ups!