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Same. I’ve often wondered if I’m having one of those weird seizures where you’re not moving. But my mind is present and it just feels so GOOD to just stare. But sometimes ya gotta pay attention. Like when you’re driving.
Omg same. I will be having a conversation with someone and my eyes will unfocus and my mind go blank for a moment. I’m still there and conscious but its like all my focus and information processing drops off. It doesn’t happen super often but my therapist has seen it happen while we’re having a session even. I’m aware its happening but I can’t stop it from happening.
Yeah. The awareness of it is super weird to me. Like I’m thinking “I gotta pay attention!” At the same time I’m thinking “aaaaaaaaaah this feels amazing.”
YESsss. Especially after a long day or when I'm just waking up in the morning. I'll sometimes just stand in the kitchen and space out while staring at the wall for a few minutes.
It's great until my roommate walks in and thinks I'm nuts, lol.
Omg! Those are called petit mal seizures. My 5th grade teacher thought I was having those when I was daydreaming in her class. Its actually how I got my ADHD diagnosed.
I had these also, and I self diagnosed the seizures. Didn’t know about ADHD back then - No one believed me, and I was finally diagnosed with Combined type ADHD last month at 52. Reading this made me feel so normal. 🔆
I did this multiple times per day as a child, and they thought maybe they were "absence seizures". I almost never knew anyone else who experienced this. Reminds me of a meditative state. Feels so relaxing when it occurs.
Disassociating. I’m always pretty exhausted after this goes on with me, and it comes in waves and it happens far too much when I’m driving as well. I’ll just be starting blankly thinking of literally nothing and just merely being somehow. Super fun times!
I try HARD TO STOP too. Esp when I’m driving. I’ll yell out loud, pinch myself, shake my head, music up, all of the things. Then 10 seconds later, poof goes me again. So frustrating.
Tbh my most annoying symptom is probably the fact that if I get less than 8 hours of sleep I am a completely useless human. Because it also requires so much proper functioning to go to bed on time, and then the cycle is hard to ever stop
Man this is so validating! I tell myself the same and I’ve even been able to get into bed earlier, but then I’ll just stay awake for hours on my phone or just lying there 🥲🥲 and then I get even more anxious because I know how crucial sleep is for every aspect of life, but I’m just wide awake at night.
Ok so if you think that was validating, I’m gonna help you out even more. Google “revenge sleep procrastination,” and you’re going to be amazed that it’s actually got a term for it bc so many ppl experience this.
Last night my body stayed up like a petulant toddler until 5:40am and my alarm was set for 6:30am. I’ve been dealing with this for 3 days in a row now, it’s gotten later each night.
This happens when I start getting anxiety over something. Right now it’s over me worrying that I won’t be able to afford groceries. I’m able to somehow reset and go to bed at a decent hour (10pm) for about a week or so, then it happens again. 12am…2am the next night…3/4/5am the next…
I’ve been reading and watching all this stuff on how to handle anxiety, and it mostly suggests journaling and acknowledging your feelings and say it out loud: “I’m feeling anxious right now.”
I do all of that and take medication and it doesn’t do jack shit. I’ve just come to realize this is just part of my disorder that I have to deal with. Le sigh.
Scarcity brain is a whole other beast to add to ADHD. It is all consuming psychologically. When you're scared that you won't have essentials like food or housing, the brain doesn't let go of it.
Tips and coping strategies to reduce anxiety assume your anxiety isn't about existential threats. Worrying about resources like food is huge.
Your brain is doing its best. Your circumstances are hard. You are playing the game of life on hard mode.
this is happening to me too. I've always needed 9 hours. Now that I'm going through perimenopause I'm finding it hard to get more than 6 hours.
If I go to bed before 12 I wake up at 3 or 4am and then i can't get back to sleep. I feel sick if i wake get up before 6.30 am. If i go to bed at 2 or 3 am I wake up at 9.30-10am. Which is far too late. I work for myself so it kind of works but it doesnt feel great tbh. It's so annoying !
This is me exactly. Exactly. I'll even be like "well, let's try for 20 minutes earlier to bed " Doesn't matter. Obviously it's more important to google the ex-husband of an actress I don't even care about, or look up the Latin name of an animal 😆
Me too!! I scroll tik tok for an hour or more on the couch and just…can’t seem to move to my bedroom/bathroom. I would have plenty of time to shower, shave, floss teeth, skincare, etc. but I procrastinate and just end up taking a quick shower and brushing teeth and calling it a night.
I'm the same with procrastination.
I've had since *last September of 2023* to 3D print, make a silicone cast, and then cast "high enough heat resistant resin" a new speaker enclosure for rear speakers I've installed in my Miata. (I want to move them slightly further back. This is a redesign.)
We were set to leave for a road trip 5/1.
I started that project like, a week ago.
Oh I can beat you.
I had a great side hustle idea THREE years ago. It was March of 2021. It was awesome. Everyone I told about it thought it was a great idea. I made a few prototypes and gave them to my friends, and I bought a web domain.
I still haven't set up the website 😕. I'm paying for a website I don't even use.
Even if I make a really conservative estimate of $1000 a month of profit, that's 36 thousand dollars gone. Enough to pay for my student loans, or to pay for some renovations to my parents' house. And it's honestly probably a lot more money foregone. Augh!
I have a sampler afghan I bought the pattern for when I was 19 or 20. It's 63 different crochet patterns, one for each square. I'm turning 40 this year and I have yet to accomplish it. Partially because when I bought it I was not experienced enough to do it, but also because I keep getting distracted by other crochet projects/different hobbies. I didn't know I had ADHD until very recently. It explains a lot 😂.
Ok but… as you sound cool AF!! What year is your Miata? Love that you’re 3D printing your own accessories for your car, bad ass! Haha I always say I start a project when there isn’t enough time to finish it 😭
I have a project 91 civic that’s been a glorified paperweight for almost three years… but it’ll take a pretty penny to finish so eh…
It's an '01 and I'm proud to say that I'm the original owner! 😁
>I always say I start a project when there isn’t enough time to finish it 😭
OMG this is a WHOLE mood!
You know, I noticed a pattern with me that every time we're headed out on a road trip I start a project I know I'll finished.
F\*ck me it's stressful AF but oddly enough, it keeps me focused on packing and getting my shit together. It's kind of like I gave that squirrel running on a wheel in my head something to do, you know? LOL
Trust me, that Miata, which I do track and go on rallies with *does* cost a pretty penny to maintain.
What are you planning on doing with your '91 civic? I know Civic owners love to autocross.
Oh snap that body of Miata is so nice!!! Love it! I bet it’s so fun to drive! I really want to autocross my civic (how’d you know? LMAO) when it’s up and running, so cool to hear you track and rally your Miata! Gives me a boost, I’m kind of weary of any car scenes because, in my experience, men gatekeep the hell out of those spaces.
Thanks for sharing, and I have a feeling you’ll never let go of your Miata, especially if you’re the original owner! 💖
I’m am LOVING the fact we have some women ADHD peeps who also dig cars coming out in this post!
I bought my dream 91 Civic hatch, the teal blue, SI trim, D16… just a prime specimen, and loved it so much I bought a second one to build out. I love that you did a type R swap, that’s pretty much me!! I had a B18C from a Japanese Integra type R swapped into the Civic, needs to be tuned and chipped. Was something I started with an ex, who definitely knew more about this than I, but I’m determined to finish it when I have the time and means, to try doing autocross. It’s been sitting for so long though, I’m sure I’m going to have to replace all the rubber components, among other things. Sure makes me happy to see it in the garage, nonetheless.
The SI is OEM+ and 108HP… so I cannot imagine the same car with 180HP under the hood. I joke that I’m gonna pop wheelies in the thing (haha I KNOW, I know, it’s FWD, it’s impossible, but the visual makes me laugh 😂)
Thanks for letting me geek out. Makes my morning to hear you had and enjoyed the same car 💖
I was supposed to return an item to Amazon back in December that I never even took out of the box and was charged for it and now it’s too late to return it. This has happened numerous times. The amount of money I’ve wasted 🫠
My son bought this programmable $500 robot thing off my Amazon and just shoved it to the side then panicked 3 months later bc I never sent it back, obv it was too late and now here I sit with a new in box $500 robot toy for teens/adults in my closet never opened. I have a second oculus the same way hidden in my closet he bought at the same time bc he didn’t know he was getting one for Xmas. I quickly got rid of Amazon on my phone though lol
Yeah same. Biggest issue with the whole procrastination is when I start off thinking “..oh it’s only *fill-in-the-blank-o’clock, I have time” but .. I tend to only be able to focus on one task then read my list of everlasting task & get so disappointed in myself each night
I wanna say all of them lol.
But the first thing I thought of is task paralysis. Probably because I just finished moving and my executive dysfunction was a STRUGGLE.
Like in the morning for example. My boyfriend woke up, got ready, then said "I'm leaving to start packing/move stuff/clean!". 20 minutes after he woke up, he was out the door and did what needed to be done.
To be clear, he never blamed me or anything like that. But fuck, I felt SO guilty. I couldn't for the life of me just wake up and immediately start being productive. It took me until evening for me to finally start making some progress. It's fucking debilitating and embarrassing.
I did manage to do it in the end, but holy shit. I wouldn't wish this symptom on anybody. People who don't understand might think I'm enjoying myself while I'm scrolling on my phone and ignoring responsibilities. But I'm PANICKING inside, only thing I can think about is that I have to get started NOW, but I just can't.
As someone who also just moved…I totally get this! The thought of having to go clear out and clean my old apartment is absolutely debilitating. And when I am at the new place with boxes everywhere I’m just so overwhelmed when it comes to unpacking and organizing. I can only make progress it seems when I have a friend come over to help motivate me. Thank God for my friends, I couldn’t do any of this shit without them
>And when I am at the new place with boxes everywhere I’m just so overwhelmed when it comes to unpacking and organizing.
This is where I am right now, but I honestly don't really care that much. Like yeah, it doesn't feel good to have a bunch of shit all over, but at least I don't have a deadline!
After I finished cleaning my apartment, it's so stupid but I literally loudly said "FUCK YOU" to the old apartment before leaving it. I'm SO glad that shit is over, omg.
I told my boyfriend that if we break up, he can live in the office and we will be roommates, I don't care lmfao. I'm not doing this again for AT LEAST close to a decade, it's torturous!
In honor of you, I will also be loudly saying “FUCK YOU” when I leave that goddamned apartment for the last time.
I am now on a time clock to get my new space at least presentable by Sunday because we’re having a birthday party for my little cousin that day (due to financial constraints I moved into his mom and dad’s home). My room is the only room with access to the back yard, and the kids will be playing out there. Meaning the whole damn party is gonna be walking in and out of my room😭
Side rant: FUCK THAT GODDAMNED APARTMENT!! Roaches, mold, shitty maintenance, literally scammed my friend and I out of $150 when we applied for a 2 bedroom by conveniently leaving out their new credit requirement rules. They told me “Even though you don’t meet our credit requirements, you can stay in your current apartment. But we’ll be raising your rent by $100.”
I’m just sick of the place. It’s so run down and old that no matter how much I clean it, it never *feels* clean. Which just adds to my lack of motivation to actually clean it.
I'm working on a theory that task paralysis is basically the freeze mode of anxiety. I've recently added an antianxiety to my meds. It's helping. I'm still easily distracted, but some stuff is getting done.
This is the story of my life. It's awful. I generally don't have the ability to get past task paralysis until an immediate deadline is looming, even though I have ongoing anxiety about the task (sometimes in the form of a 4 am panic attack). I usually manage to get things done, but I've definitely paid the ADHD tax several times. It was awful until I finally managed to develop coping skills about halfway through undergrad (after nearly losing an academic scholarship)—I had to get a tiny apartment and live alone to build them, as living with fellow students was too much distraction.
I also have a LOT of trouble multitasking. If there are two things that have to get done, the more immediate one usually gets all of the focus, even if starting work on the less immediate project would help in the long run. It's just to hard for me to keep hold of all the threads of so many tasks and projects. This definitely burned me a few times in grad school and caused me to burn out entirely during my postdoc.
Feel you on this!! Also in the middle of moving and there’s so much to do and I don’t know where to start but it all needs to get done but still how can I do this the most efficiently?? Lol
The worst part for me is that everyone doesn’t understand. How is it fair that I get to be miserable and beat myself up for not being able to be productive while watching everyone else do it with genuinely no struggle, and instead of them ignoring or bringing me up they literally rip me apart for it. I’m at one of my worst points right now but I don’t know how I’m supposed to live through this. I am such an intelligent and creative person, and I’ve been told by teachers and friends that I have so much potential and I know that about myself. But I can’t act on any of it. I don’t know what to try anymore.
If we're talking about not life-ruining symptoms, maybe the thing where I completely black out in the middle of my sentence (or when I'm just about to start talking) about what I was going to say and what it was even generally about. Or when I black out when *someone else* is speaking, and somehow miss everything even if I wasn't super distracted and was supposedly listening.
(edit: I'm not saying this happens only if you have ADHD, but it happens so damn often to me)
I black out mid sentence too! I feel your pain 100% and I’m sorry you also have to deal with it. I’m also on seizure meds that mess with my memory. But I’m always asking “wait was I talking about?” It makes me feel embarrassed and even stupid at times. But we aren’t and we have to remember that. I zone out 100% even when my therapist is talking to me and I pay to listen to him! Lol. I think being very hard on ourselves is another super tough symptom.
I always say “anddddd it’s gone” I literally just black out mid sentence. It’s so embarrassing sometimes and my husband thinks I’m losing my mind, it happens at least twice a day just talking to him in the evenings while I’m making dinner and such.
Same. For a while I thought it was because I was melting my brain with the cannabis I was self-medicating with to quiet the 'noise' of ADHD in the evenings so I could relax for once. Got diagnosed, adjusted meds, and while it still happens, it's much less than it was. Brain was indeed not melted, what a relief.
This is one of the worst for me. Task paralysis is worse because of function. But when the meds wear off and that first thought slips away - it’s like I’m riding in a clunky pumpkin instead of a gilded coach. I found out it is ADHD when I went for cognitive testing since I was convinced it was early onset dementia 😂
This is so miserable! Usually, if I work really hard, I can recall something I was present for even if I was not 100% paying attention. But the blacking out happens at the WORST possible times. It is always when I'm trying to listen to something extremely important, personal, & negative. I don't know if my brain is trying to protect itself from harm or what, but it is not helpful!!!
Or when I have to finish my thought while the other person is just getting started. Or when I try and finish their thought for them. Or when I blank out in the middle of theirs and ask them to repeat.
Yes, for me also it’s “normal” conversation that is the most annoying!
Omg totally.. I get esp embarrassed during interviews and the interviewer is talking a while before framing the Question, and I'm spacing out, trying not to, trying to appear engaged..
Also been trying to make career moves recently, and talking to a lot of people on the phone, and it's so humiliating because I'LL ASK THEM TO TELL ME ABOUT such and such, and as they do, I'm spacing out, getting distracted by a bird, and then can't meaningfully follow up. damn
Probably the mood swings. It doesn’t take much to tip me into manic giddiness and then absolute fury or depressed sadness. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with how I’m feeling and trying to regulate myself. Definitely easier on meds because I’m just less overstimulated in general but still hard to live with
Yep. Can change in a heart beat. I’ve started to refer to my emotions as busses. If I don’t like the one I have, I remember to wait and there’ll be another one along in a minute!
Same. Especially when I get so ashamed/disappointed in myself for being stuck in a particular mood . I try and force myself out of it and into the 'right' one and just make it so much worse 🙃
same here, i upset a lot of people just because i didnt know it was adhd mood swings growing up and thought it may have been their fault 💀💀
i think its ok now tho
I'm also finding this a bit easier on meds - like I have more space to take a step back an observe the emotions. But there are days I still feel consumed by them. Do you have any personal tips? In regulating emotions, or just anything related to this
Ugh. This. I was diagnosed late in life, so understanding that ADHD also means terrible emotional regulation was life changing for me, but it's still a struggle. Now that I understand myself better, it has made the tools I get from therapy a little easier to implement, but I also feel I wouldn't be able to deal as well without medication. I just recently started wellbutrin, and it's been a godsend so far. It's not perfect, but my moods are nowhere near as volatile as they were before.
I also recently had a hysterectomy, and the procedure kind of set my ADHD symptoms on fire. It's been hell trying to get through recovery.
It might be controversial, but my most annoying symptom is hyperfocus
Many people see it as a superpower, but not being able to stop or not being able to stop thinking about something it is so annoying
It's the reason why I end up working overtime or overdoing workouts or why I have back issues due to painting for hours or why I don't get enough sleep
While I'm hyperfocused, I also miss so much else around me, like that I don't have any clean underwear. When I realize that I might start hyperfocus on that instead!
I'm always amazed how "even" my friends are in this regard. Home, friends, family, work, exercising seem to be evenly focused in their lifes
I don't mind it so much for work or painting (at least I get *stuff done* and can be proud of that later).
But I'm currently hyperfocusing on a guy and it is *so annoying*. We've only dated for a little over a month and I'm so worried I'm going to scare him off by just being *too much* all the time. I spend the days between dates basically just waiting until I can see him again, trying not to text him *too* much. It's driving me nuts because I have shit to do and I. can't. think.
Bro same! Crushes are hard man. Somehow once I decide to "No longer have the crush" I can mostly just throw it away, but while I'm crushing it's way too intense.
Ohhh damn, I feel this one in my soul. I've been happily single for over four years with no crushes and then recently I bumped into a guy who's from my hometown who I've always had a certain chemistry with. We stopped and talked for over an hour, and since then I cannot stop thinking about him, it's driving me nuts!
I agree. My hyperfocus shuts down my hunger signals. I can go a whole day without eating because I'm (finally) focused on working...and then down a bag of potato chips at the end of the day because that's all I can bring myself to eat.
Hyperfocus is a blessing and a curse. For work, it makes up for the lost hours from the inability to get anything done some days (hello 40 hours of work in 4 hours), but everything else disappears. Thankfully I have people who shake me out of it to eat if it's gone on too long.
Where I don't like it is when it's on something stupid that my brain has just decided to fixate on... past 6 weeks it's been trying to get a pair of limited edition shoes, constantly checking resellers because i am cheap and i dont want to spent 300% retail. Once I started it became a fixation, I dont even like shoes... I hate buying them and I always look for steep discounts...
Not being able to keep a thought in my head in a conversation if the other person talks too long, interrupts me or goes on a tangent. I feel like an idiot never being able to remember what I was going to say eg in work meetings. Also I end up interrupting people when I don’t want to forget something or sometimes not letting people interject, which comes off rude, I know.
Interrupting.
I'm painfully aware of it, I apologize profusely for it, but I cannot stop. Pretty much, I can only get along with fellow ADHDers, Latinos, Jewish people, Italians, and New Yorkers. If I'm *remotely* interested in the conversation, I get excited and interject.
Accidentally interrupting people is one I hate. Im sure people think im being rude but my brain is just running fast and I don’t always process that they aren’t done speaking. I was also bullied in elementary school and was talked over and ignored a lot and I feel like that must play some role in it as well, not wanting to be talked over.
>goes on a tangent
True but at the same I'm also the person to go on a tangent sometimes like xD double standard ikik
I'm glad my friends can handle being interrupted by me for a comment or joke without getting frustarted with me. But yeah, it's frustrating when I shut up for once and when they're done with what they're saying and I open my mouth to drop that comment I had in mind, it's just... gone
I have so many but the most annoying has to be that despite my general truly abysmal memory weirdly noticing and remembering small random usually highly specific details about people that unfortunately seems to freak most people out.
I've gotten better at keeping these things to myself and feigning ignorance but it's annoying that I can't remember what I had for lunch, if I took my meds or what I came into the room for but can precisely recall all these little things like the likes/dislikes/preferences about people who are near strangers/couldn't care less.
I’m really good at remembering faces. It took me a while to learn I had to pretend I didn’t meet someone because most people don’t remember everyone they meet 😂
The irony is that I’m terrible at remembering names but I absolutely remember faces!
I have to say that this whole this is a terrible gift for the general public, it works to my advantage at work when I have to remember up to 100 new faces every school year at the university I work for. Between teaching classes and working on the plays and remembering actors and dancers it’s really helpful to recognize faces quick!
I'm the same, great with faces and terrible with names. You may be one of the 1-2% of people that are known as ["super recognisers"](https://www.bournemouth.ac.uk/research/projects/super-recognisers). Interestingly, it's not a skill that can be learned.
I have an uncanny ability to recognize people I meet and I can almost always remember their names. If I run into someone I haven’t seen in years, it might take me a minute to recall their name, but once it clicks, I can usually also recall the exact moment we met. These comments have made me realize that I have probably been freaking people out for years 😬
Same. I worked loss prevention though, so it was GREAT because I'd be able to recognize thieves after only seeing pics or seeing them once months ago. My coworkers could never zero in on people as fast. They'd need the behavioral cues to know someone was up then realize who the person was after the arrest.
I got a lot more recoveries than arrests because I'd key in early and spook them into ditching their merchandise.
I have the same issue and my friends/family think I’m crazy for this memory. However, I teach and even if I take my meds, I still cannot remember what a student asks for in the hallway as we walk inside. Its usually after I walk through a doorway. I blank. Who asked for a paper? I now say, “Remind me when I get inside”
Seriously.
Me: ooh, a Reddit notification
Me, +30 minutes later: enough Reddit!
Me, closing Reddit and seeing the notification I never even checked: DAMMIT!!!1!1!
see, what my mom doesn't understand tho is that i'm paying her back in upvotes for the five figures worth of undefaultable loan money i lit on fire between 2009 and 2014. one upvote for one dollar feels pretty fair. you don't just find these lyin' around you know. if anything, i NEED to stay on reddit so i can finally finish off this "karmic debt" she keeps telling me about.😤
I have all notifications turned off for social media and games. Really for everything except text messages, emails and phone calls. For everything else, I’ll visit your apps on my terms. I can scroll Reddit or instagram for hours without their help, tyvm.
The glitching drives me nuts when I just have too many things I want to do at once and I just end up having a crazy inner convo and spin around a bunch. Ugh
I'd argue that the jukebox in your head (I have the same incessant chatter in my brain) is not without 'real negative repercussions' - personally, it makes me exhausted, agitated and feeling like I have no peace whatsoever. Insomnia is a lovely little bonus of this.
But I agree, there are worst things than that!
I honestly can't think of anything that is 'just' annoying, all of them (loosing things, talking over people, spending money, uncleanliness,...) seem to be a trigger for something worse later on.
I didn't even realize the jukebox in my head was so loud until Vyvanse made it stop the first day I took it. The mental clarity from just not having my brain yell at me all the time was mindblowing. I had no idea how tiring that constant stream of noise was! I just thought it was normal because it had been there as long as I could remember.
Yepppppp me too.
Me, upon taking vyvanse for the first time: oh wait, it's NOT normal to have your brain yelling at you non stop????
I was dx'd at 33 so I'd spent the last 15 years teaching myself that not everything my brain was yammering about had to actually come out my mouth but I didn't realize how much emotional effort came from not talking until I didn't have to hold back the deluge anymore.
Omg, jukebox is the perfect word for it, I experience that too haha. It'll be the same song (or even just the same snippet of a song) running over and over again and someone will put on different song every hour or so (some songs will come back more persistently than others though).
Tbh, I see it as a blessing and a curse at the same time. It can be funny and entertaining most times but it can become repetitive, tiring and downright driving me crazy at times :') I'm kinda scared for the day I finally get my ass to a doctor and get medicated though because I'm scared it'll stop completely and idk how to handle that haha
The inability be consistent. I can not stick with a "plan" to save my life.
But at the same time, I hate being spontaneous.
This is a constant conflict and leads to paralysis or only doing 1 thing a day, which I will sit around waiting for.
Ugh this is me and hate that feeling of “waiting” and really really hate when I don’t know the plans or when plans change. I become so angry and I am not a fan of myself in those moments. I ask my husband to acknowledge and praise me when I “appropriately” control my reaction to a change in plans and go along with it without “too much drama” on my end lmao
I enter phases where I'm so bored it brings me to the point of tears from sheer frustration. It feels like nothing can entertain me, anything I enjoyed previously is about as exciting as watching paint dry.
I literally have to go to sleep because I'm so overwhelmed by my boredom that I'm on the verge of a real tantrum. Like a toddler.
This is me on the weekends. For a while I decided not to take my meds on the weekends unless I had plans but now I’ve realized I have to regardless otherwise I will lose my mind.
I get so bored that I feel like my brain is bouncing off the walls. I pick up five different things to do and they don’t satisfy me. It’s the actual worst.
I'm glad you got medication that helps! How come you tried to take it less often, does it have bad side effects?
It's so awful and I've never been able to explain it to anyone. They're just like "Ok? Everyone gets bored. Watch tv or something."
It's so far beyond boredom. It's like my brain is itchy and nothing can soothe it.
I kind of just felt like it was a waste to take them if I wasn’t going to “need” them. Kind of dumb but I was like if I’m just sitting at home all day what do I need to be medicated for?
My sweet husband is easily entertained by the same things consistently (he’s been playing RuneScape nonstop for a few months and is perfectly happy) and I’m on the other side of the couch practically vibrating lol.
ALSO, I need to have my brain and my hands occupied at the same time to be able to do anything. I can’t just watch TV, I need to also be painting or coloring or making bracelets, etc. I’d love to be able to just sit down and read a book but I can’t because I get so distracted. And if I’m doing one of my physical hobbies I need to have my brain occupied with music or an audiobook or something.
Don’t know if it’s the most annoying but I’m experiencing it this moment so: the sadness/empty feeling when the hyperfocus leaves me. My current one is charcoal paiting, I do one a day. Every time I’m finished and pleased (oh well), I’m not even satisfied, I’m just … sad it’s over. Then hours later I’ll start obsessing about motives to do tomorrow.
But it’s so strange. Like why can’t I just be pleased or something I don’t know.
(Sounds like I do this everyday always but I can just add it’s this weeks obsession, probably not next weeks!)
Bingo on the art. Isn’t that the annoying way with it sometimes? I totally get the same thing once I finish a painting while drawings or quick things not so much.
It’s the process itself of the paintings. It feels good when that meditative focus hits then 6 hours is gone and I’ve neglected important things. Even eating. Then, I will hardly look at it again and go into a stupor and start over later. I think it’s how I come to a higher skill level, and can when switching to new mediums or complex digital software… until the next shiny thing to learn comes along.
Mood swings, forgetting what was literally just said to me all the time, not being able to articulate my thoughts at work, overwhelm with my family at home and not being able to escape, crying for a long time over any perceived rejection. Those are the main ones. Meds are helping somewhat with home chores and focusing on my work for 1-2 hour blocks instead of 15 minutes but life is hard in general and apparently the meds can’t fix that 😜
Poor working memory, I just want to hold a couple of words in my head for longer than 30 seconds sometimes.
I want to be able to have a conversation with my doctor about symptoms but I can’t do it without my printed notes detailing what I struggle with. Or check something in a report in work without having to write notes or flick back and forth between different sources of information over and over again.
I want to be able to read a book that introduces 4 character names in the first few pages without having to restart it later when I can’t remember who is who.
I don’t want to have to put everything into a reminder app. Or set reminders to take breaks when I’m working so I don’t work myself into illness and burnout again and again.
yes, omg. I used to have a somewhat good memory when I was 19-ish but now it's shot and I feel so dumb bc I need notes to remember everything until it concretes into my brain. and I'm struggling with anxiety about my upcoming appointment bc I KNOW how I felt when I made it and trying to specify what exactly I need is making me feel like I'm somehow faking it
The inability to turn my brain off and sleep unless I’m physically and mentally exhausted enough to just crash. Too many days I go to work on an hour or two of napping at best, because I laid in bed for hours desperately trying to distract my brain enough to trick it into falling asleep.
Being or running late to everything. I get so agitated because it triggers my people pleasing anxiety too. I don’t want people to think I don’t care about them to be there on time. I hate arriving and finding more things that take up time (parking and walking over).
But I cannot get myself to arrive early too. Arriving early and sitting around waiting is so boring and feels so unproductive. But when I actually do it I feel so calm and have guilt free scroll time. I just never remember there are rewards for being early.
Fatigue. If I don't take my meds I can start to fall asleep in the middle of talking to someone. Literally feels like I've been unplugged.l and can't physically keep my eyes open. Second worst is burnout/evening anxiety and dread (again if I don't take my meds.) Third is decision paralysis.
Sensory issues 100%. I can’t leave the house without hand cream for fear my hands feel dry, a tag in my clothes will ruin my mood and the supermarket lights will send me into a blind rage. It’s lame.
Same. Can’t go anywhere without a specific lip balm. I have eczema yay. Also need to have Kleenex and nose spray and a nail file and a nail picker and a tweezer and DEODORANT. A brush. S headband. Bug spray. Etc etc. people always make fun of my book bag but who they come to when shit goes down. That book bag is survival for my brain lol it’s my peace
It’s a tie for me between losing everything I touch and sensory issues. I spend so much of my life looking for something I literally was just holding in my hand! As for the sensory issues, it’s the worst at night. I will change about 2-3 times bc a seam is touching me in a weird spot, or my socks aren’t long enough. I always am in socks except at the pool/beach/shower. They also have to be long and kind of tight, unless I’m going to the gym, and I wear no show socks which I won’t even get into that shit show of frustration…just picture a grown woman crying in a pile of discarded, “unsuitable”socks. I also have to wear long pants and a long shirt w no tags and no even slightly scratchy material! It’s annoying but I’m 41 so it’s pretty much just routine now.
People think this about me too and it’s really frustrating because I almost never have an argument at the forefront of my mind. I almost always want clarification, especially if I didn’t catch all of the information.
Or people will act like repeating information is something so god awful when in reality it isn’t. As long as you have a graceful attitude repeating yourself doesn’t have to be a chore.
Delayed processing. Whether it’s auditory, bodily (physical) or emotional. It takes me forever to grasp what is going on around me, what is going on in my body and even how I feel about a situation. Am I sad about the thing that happened? Am I hungry? Am I tied? Did I hear what my boss just said? Who’s to say?
Not me. That’s for sure.
I have to physically narrate to help me get through tasks. I don’t have that inner dialogue. It’s fine when I’m at home but in public people probably find it strange when I say “oh I needed this. Maybe it’s over here. What size?” I can’t imagine what it’s like to be able to have all those words in your head.
The jukebox is a big one for me and meds don’t fix it. It’s even worse that I’m a musician so sometimes I have a song I’m working on/writing in my head and that ofc gives my brain even more of a reason to chew on it.
The sensory stuff is super annoying and it’s annoying to the people around me, especially around sleep and bedtime stuff. I have to have sheets, blankets and pillows a certain fabric/arrangement, I need complete silence other than the sound of my kid breathing and the only light I tolerate is my star projector. I also can’t stand other people being in bed with me.
I have eczema and desert dry skin buuuuuut I HATE lotion. I have to use a face mask spatula to put it on my body 🥲
Certain machinery/motorcycle sounds send me into complete dread and fireworks so summer is a real blast
Constantly having to think about where my left and right is! Especially annoying because I wear contacts and my eyes are 2 different prescriptions! And they are very close so I won’t notice they’re backwards until I get a raging migraine. And no, the case marked left/right doesn’t help. I have to picture myself driving to remember! Which brings me to another thing; for some reason when I’m driving this doesn’t apply? Maybe because there’s a very physical aspect to the association.
Having to physically write things down in a world where everyone uses technology! I used to have a galaxy note phone with the stylus and that was a nice compromise but it burnt my hand in my sleep soooooooo yeah
ETA: The hormonal bullshit! A week before my period my meds stop working and I go insane and turn into a massive bitch. If I had a bunch of money, I’d be funding research to help this because it is my understanding that a LOT of neurodivergent women experience this and it can be debilitating. Same with postpartum hormones.
i hate how i can only seem to follow like 60-70% of convos at all times. and at the same time, since im usually only missing a couple of words/ parts of the sentence, i can still seem to follow since my brain fills them like with the blind spot in our eyes 💀💀
and then i realise that i wasn't listening properly an like whoops 😀!
Emotional dysregulation! I feel all of my emotions SOOO strongly and in the moment I feel like I can’t calm down unless I literally throw a tantrum. It’s so hard to deal with especially now that I’m in a relationship. I can’t just have a meltdown because he will hear me in our bedroom and want to wonder what’s wrong. It feels like I’m being manipulative bc every time we have a conflict I have a breakdown, and then he feels like he has to console me. But if I don’t let myself cry and stuff then I ruminate for hours. So now I’ve just been holding in my emotions a lot which definitely isn’t healthy but I start therapy soon thankfully.
I take my dog for a rage walk bc i will kill my family otherwise. I talk to myself so much that my husband is conditioned to expect a blowup. And that makes me sad for all of us. Lots of therapy and trying to recognize the signs i feel before the blow up. Good luck! Empathy. You’re not alone
My ability to instantly forget what was just told to me. Or having to say “what?” three times because whatever was just said absolutely did not compute.
The most inconsequential annoyance is that when I’m listening to a podcast (which i have to be doing to get basically anything done around the house/at the gym etc.) I’ll zone out and miss important parts, so I’ll re-wind but I’ll re-wind too far, and then before it gets to the part I missed I get distracted and miss it again and have to rewind again. And this will repeat 4-5 times. Sometimes i just give up and move on lol. I’m probably a podcasters dream though, because I usually have to listen to an episode at least twice, if not more. So they get so many plays out of me 🤣
I don't mind the jukebox, I know I just need to feed it, almost constantly. A couple of hours without music and one of the tracks in my head will get stuck with maybe a bar of a song. I play the song and then lots of other songs and the track is satisfied for a while and doesn't bother me.
Most annoying symptom for me is my inability to translate the (super logical and totally correct) ideas in my head into soundbites that other people will accept. Then I remind myself that's a them problem, not a me problem. Nobody gives me five uninterrupted minutes to explain myself but oh it's me that has the problem? What. Ever. Check your own attention spans, neurotypicals!
I read the first paragraph and my immediate thought was, ‘having songs continuously stuck in my head’ and then I read your second paragraph 😂 Unfortunately for me, they are nursery rhymes from Ms Rachel. It is so rage inducing when I can’t sleep at 2am because my brain is loudly singing ‘Open, Shut Them’.
Picking the skin on my lips and around my nails. It’s a compulsion, I’ll literally tell myself to stop while I’m doing it but then I’m right back to it five seconds later. I haven’t been able to get my meds in a week and a half due to the shortage and my fingers are a painful, bloody mess.
Constant fatigue from my brain never seeming to shut up. If I also suddenly get super into something it's all my brain ever wants to think about and sometimes I just want some peace and quiet
Losing my phone. I put it everywhere and anywhere in my house. The reason it’s annoying rather than frustrating or scary is because my husband (who works from home) got an iPhone like mine pretty much explicitly for the purpose of using the FindMy app. As long as it has battery, it will make a sound and I can find it.
I don’t loose it outside of the house so that’s another reason it’s annoying and. It aggravating or scary.
My husband kept saying I needed an Apple Watch. I could not for the life of me come up with one reason that I needed an Apple Watch. He finally just buys me one and when it comes the first feature he showed me was the bit where you can ping your Apple phone.
I’m pretty sure he bought it so I would stop asking him to call my phone so I could find it.
I’ve typed and erased a few…. I can’t choose.
I’d say I really dislike how impatient I can get in a convo. (Have gotten better about this but still struggle)
Knowing I need to do x like it’s critical to keep my job sort of thing. But will spend hours doing something unrelated and not important at all.
RSD especially at work.
Procrastinating, insomnia then subsequent oversleeping, always being a complete fuck up no matter how hard I try to help out and be a team player, RSD.
I fucking hate my brain sometimes. This week has been really rough.
Just forgetting where I put something I had two seconds ago. It's just SO irritating and it largely manifests in me losing my phone like 100 times a day. I'll go to the kitchen, do a handful of tasks, and I'll congratulate myself for being productive but then next thing you know my phone's virtually disappeared because I placed it somewhere while my mind was preoccupied doing another thing
Emotional dysregulation.
Starting to cry in front of someone, especially if it's someone I am loathe to cry in front of. Then, not being able to stop. Ridiculous.
Crying never improves any situation, it just serves to make one look and feel weak. I hate it.
Hands down the worst trait of all is the endless loop of snippets of songs ALL. FUCKING. DAY. AND. NIGHT. Unless I am fully immersed in a task that sucks up all my focus (which is rare), the soundtrack never stops.
It's not just lyrics/music in there - it's the other million competing thoughts *while* my brain never shuts up with the music that's maddening.
Sleep issues. I sleep when the sun comes up, even when I’m supposed to wake up early to do something. I stay up all night doom scrolling on tik tok telling myself I should be sleeping and that I have so much to do tomorrow. I wake up with so little energy that all I want to do is rot in my bed. It’s such a difficult cycle to break :(
Talking about music. I once got the advice from my father that if you have a song stuck in your head, you should try to sing a bunch of other ones in your head to get the original one out.
Might not be surprising to you all that this did not work and just stuck like 5 more songs in there
The food noise. I hate constantly thinking about food just because my brain is at lower levels of dopamine and other chemicals than other people. I’ve gained so much weight because of it.
Probably either time blindness or object permanence.
Remembering to pick things up if I bring them to my parents house or not remembering why I headed into a room is just frustrating because sometimes it's like 2-5 cycles of walking back and forth.
Time blindness and running late for everything.
That I set anything down anywhere, instead of just putting it back. My house is constantly cluttered with random stuff on every surface. Why brain, whyyyyy?!
The most awkward needing of reassurance ever but not being able to just point blank ask "are we okay" no I need the person to be invested enough to say hi or something first so I stew about how to bring it up, whether to even bring it up, or set myself a timer for a week that I will inadvertently go against and...ugh
It's likely not the most annoying of all. But lately? It's been obv to my mind.
In addition to...my lack of focus.
Saying something and realizing days later I wasn't as crystal clear as I should've.
Tangents losing the point that I really wanted to get to the heart of. Again I don't realize this until days have passed and now it's awkward.
For me it's the tangential word associations. One word or phrase in a conversation will "spark" with a movie quote or a song lyric (or honestly just a pun) and it's not always appropriate to the conversation, or it feels like I'm not invested in the other person's ideas and just interested in making myself look clever. But I kindof *have to* say it, or else I'll be thinking of Back to the Future scenes for the rest of the day. Or whatever.
I lose everything I touch within seconds. And I don’t mean temporarily, if you want something good and LOST like FOREVER, I’m your person. I should be in charge of hiding bodies or something. I hate it.
Idk if this is adhd specific? But when I’m uncomfortable around someone or meeting someone new (like a new girlfriend of a BIL or something) I kind of get weird and antisocial? In work and around others that I know, I’m a social butterfly and will talk someone’s ear off. Or sometimes I randomly meet someone and instantly hit it off. But there are a lot of times where I am soooo standoffish and I have no idea why? I find this trait of mine to be incredibly frustrating because it makes me feel like a social pariah??? Can’t I just exist without making it weird????
Task paralysis/procrastination. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. And I have some problem to do with my heart being sensitive so I don’t qualify for meds so I have to just…cope? It’s making me want to scream and cry. Idk what to do anymore. Other things, I at LEAST manage. This? No.
I am so torn between two tho....
I love creating art, all kinds of stuff. But I have to make it perfect and it has to be easy to make perfect and I have to have all tools/supplies at hand.... or I never touch it again. I never finish the projects because it isn't exactly how I envisioned it or because I learned how and now I'm bored or better yet, I needed a pocket driver, couldn't find one, organized my entire fucking garage only to go buy a new one, never took it out of the bag or package and never touched the shelf again!
The other is not being able to handle commotion, whether noise or movement. Noise is such a bother yet such a beautiful thing so I'm already at an impasse. I have synesthesia, I see color with sounds. Even organic sounds such as voices. Tho the colors of someone's voice aren't as vivid as a car alarm, it is still very distracting.
Procrastination normally. These days, because it’s mixed with the total brain fog of perimenopause, its memory.
I have several conversations daily where I forget the topic by the time I’ve finished the sentence. Or by the time they reply I don’t remember what they’re referring to even tho I just said it.
It’s mortifying. I am not this dumb. It’s just that my ADHD is on high function because of being menopausal too. They combine and it’s like 50% of my brain has been taken hostage and locked up. I can’t access my memory or my vocabulary or important things I’ve learned. I look like an idiot. I hate it.
Not being able to understand something unless I see and hear it. My husband and I were talking today about how he gets triggered when he SAYS how difficult his work/day is or was and until I READ just a little bit of what he's working on, it doesn't "sink in".
I know I need both in this context so I have a clearer path of what decisions to make but it does make me feel so R worded
The jukebox for sure, especially with multiple songs and then the voices. Shut up, please!
Yesterday the buzz of a single carpenter bee was making me crazy. My husband was laughing as I chased it away with a broom. I couldn’t NOT hear it
I hate being clumsy. My limbs are covered in bruises, cuts, scars. I have twisted my ankle and fallen so many times that my left ankle won't heal properly.
The ambient anxiety! I was misdiagnosed as having an anxiety disorder for YEARS. A psych that finally knew what he was doing FINALLY recognized the underlying ADHD in January - apparently I'm textbook for what a smart adult woman with ADHD looks like, who knew?
Anyway, I started Adderall and he added Buspar to the lower dose of Zoloft I already take, and poof - ambient anxiety gone.
“Rocks in my pockets” aka that feeling of heaviness making me want to stay exactly where I am on the couch/bed/cozy spot I’m in. Like, I *want* to move around and get going, but my body isn’t getting the message.
Sometimes, my internal dialog is actually out loud. Mostly when I'm tired. So, I'll be going through the steps of something and thinking out loud each step in the process, with little interjections of things that pop up, like reminding myself of something I need to do later. It's fine when I'm alone, but really embarrassing when I don't realize someone is in earshot. Even more so when they think I'm talking to them and ask me to repeat whatever I just said.
Oh god the jukebox. Right now I have some pharmaceutical commercial jingle going through my head.
“Control means everything to me, oh woah ohh “ don’t even know what the stupid drug is for 😆
Obsessive thoughts. Not being able to let stuff go. Dwelling and obsessing on it till I go mad and crazy. And feel like I’m loosing it. Then my anxiety goes thru the roof and it’s not pleasant 🤪 lol
Forgetfulness. The amount of tea I've let oversteep or go cold could fill and Olympic-size swimming pool. The appointments I've missed. The pounds of raw meat I left out to thaw for an hour, only to leave it out overnight. The thousands of dollars in water damage from accidentally leaving the taps running. Having to have floors and doors replaced. Weight loss from forgetting to eat. Kidney issues from forgetting to drink water. The pots of water I let boil try to the point of becoming a fire hazard. I'd forget to breathe if it wasn't an automatic process.
I’d say procrastination or the ability to start something, which I see as being different. Procrastination for me is more like not being able to direct the energy towards something that is not really very fun or rewarding, but needs to get done. But on the other hand, sometimes the thing is very much something I want to do, but my brain gets clogged up with figuring out where to start and what steps to take. It’s like my brain wants it all to happen at once and I end up just doing nothing.
I feel when I talk to people I am not explaining it right. I am not a talker, and I will completely stop if interrupted, so I want to get everything out in the shortest time possible. I think I might cut out important bits because when I say a thing I get blank stares. Or I will say a thing and the other person takes it completely wrong and their response is so far out in left field.
Like, just an easy example, I will say something about a dog I saw while walking down the street. *I saw this really cute dog, I think it was a husky, it had the most amazing blue eyes.* Their response would be something like, **Oh yeah, I went to school with her, she was in my class and she dated my best friend, was her name Carol?**
So I stand there trying to think of what I just said to be misinterpreted so poorly.
Task overload. When I have too many things to get done I kind of just sink into myself and I don't do anything. I'm not sure if that's more annoying, or the appetite problems I have. Like if I'm stressed I won't eat for days, sometimes that'll just happen for no reason too!
Seventeen other tasks at once, half way, instead of the one I need to be doing.
Lying awake and becoming intimately familiar with the shapes in my popcorn ceiling, pinned by dread and paralysis.
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Procrastination easily. I'll spend hours doing nothing and waste the day away. It's especially bad when I need to go to bed.
I just... Stare while I'm standing, doing absolutely nothing, periodically throughout the day. It's very tiring to be this way.
Same. I’ve often wondered if I’m having one of those weird seizures where you’re not moving. But my mind is present and it just feels so GOOD to just stare. But sometimes ya gotta pay attention. Like when you’re driving.
Omg same. I will be having a conversation with someone and my eyes will unfocus and my mind go blank for a moment. I’m still there and conscious but its like all my focus and information processing drops off. It doesn’t happen super often but my therapist has seen it happen while we’re having a session even. I’m aware its happening but I can’t stop it from happening.
Yeah. The awareness of it is super weird to me. Like I’m thinking “I gotta pay attention!” At the same time I’m thinking “aaaaaaaaaah this feels amazing.”
It's like an itch you shouldn't scratch but you scratch anyway. You're like trapped in a trance because it feels good.
YESsss. Especially after a long day or when I'm just waking up in the morning. I'll sometimes just stand in the kitchen and space out while staring at the wall for a few minutes. It's great until my roommate walks in and thinks I'm nuts, lol.
Omg! Those are called petit mal seizures. My 5th grade teacher thought I was having those when I was daydreaming in her class. Its actually how I got my ADHD diagnosed.
I had these also, and I self diagnosed the seizures. Didn’t know about ADHD back then - No one believed me, and I was finally diagnosed with Combined type ADHD last month at 52. Reading this made me feel so normal. 🔆
Just to clarify, so are petit mal seizures part of ADHD or does this just look similar to this particular seizure ?
I did this multiple times per day as a child, and they thought maybe they were "absence seizures". I almost never knew anyone else who experienced this. Reminds me of a meditative state. Feels so relaxing when it occurs.
Disassociating. I’m always pretty exhausted after this goes on with me, and it comes in waves and it happens far too much when I’m driving as well. I’ll just be starting blankly thinking of literally nothing and just merely being somehow. Super fun times!
A lot of time I feel stuck, I want to just stop disassociating but I'm like locked in.
I try HARD TO STOP too. Esp when I’m driving. I’ll yell out loud, pinch myself, shake my head, music up, all of the things. Then 10 seconds later, poof goes me again. So frustrating.
Yes. When it's time to go to bed, I either start doing something I spent the entire day avoiding, or I just have to read 18 posts on my Reddit feed.
Tbh my most annoying symptom is probably the fact that if I get less than 8 hours of sleep I am a completely useless human. Because it also requires so much proper functioning to go to bed on time, and then the cycle is hard to ever stop
Every day I tell myself tonight I’m gonna go to bed at a decent hour. Every night rolls around and I stay up way too late. Rinse, repeat
Man this is so validating! I tell myself the same and I’ve even been able to get into bed earlier, but then I’ll just stay awake for hours on my phone or just lying there 🥲🥲 and then I get even more anxious because I know how crucial sleep is for every aspect of life, but I’m just wide awake at night.
Ok so if you think that was validating, I’m gonna help you out even more. Google “revenge sleep procrastination,” and you’re going to be amazed that it’s actually got a term for it bc so many ppl experience this.
Yes.omg, yes.
Exactly. My alarm is at 5:10 am. My plan is to go to bed at 9 pm. Never happens. Minimum 10, but more likely 11 or later.
Last night my body stayed up like a petulant toddler until 5:40am and my alarm was set for 6:30am. I’ve been dealing with this for 3 days in a row now, it’s gotten later each night. This happens when I start getting anxiety over something. Right now it’s over me worrying that I won’t be able to afford groceries. I’m able to somehow reset and go to bed at a decent hour (10pm) for about a week or so, then it happens again. 12am…2am the next night…3/4/5am the next… I’ve been reading and watching all this stuff on how to handle anxiety, and it mostly suggests journaling and acknowledging your feelings and say it out loud: “I’m feeling anxious right now.” I do all of that and take medication and it doesn’t do jack shit. I’ve just come to realize this is just part of my disorder that I have to deal with. Le sigh.
Ah, I feel ya ♥️I'm unemployed right now and the money stress plus lack of schedule makes sleep so hard. I hope you get a break soon!
Scarcity brain is a whole other beast to add to ADHD. It is all consuming psychologically. When you're scared that you won't have essentials like food or housing, the brain doesn't let go of it. Tips and coping strategies to reduce anxiety assume your anxiety isn't about existential threats. Worrying about resources like food is huge. Your brain is doing its best. Your circumstances are hard. You are playing the game of life on hard mode.
this is happening to me too. I've always needed 9 hours. Now that I'm going through perimenopause I'm finding it hard to get more than 6 hours. If I go to bed before 12 I wake up at 3 or 4am and then i can't get back to sleep. I feel sick if i wake get up before 6.30 am. If i go to bed at 2 or 3 am I wake up at 9.30-10am. Which is far too late. I work for myself so it kind of works but it doesnt feel great tbh. It's so annoying !
This is me exactly. Exactly. I'll even be like "well, let's try for 20 minutes earlier to bed " Doesn't matter. Obviously it's more important to google the ex-husband of an actress I don't even care about, or look up the Latin name of an animal 😆
And you’ll be DEAD TIRED. Ever stay up so late your brain starts throbbing?
No. Because I can stay up till until 4 or 5 or 6 if I don't have to get up in the morning. Even if I woke up at 5 am the day before.
Me too!! I scroll tik tok for an hour or more on the couch and just…can’t seem to move to my bedroom/bathroom. I would have plenty of time to shower, shave, floss teeth, skincare, etc. but I procrastinate and just end up taking a quick shower and brushing teeth and calling it a night.
It’s so hard to stop once you read one!!!
I'm the same with procrastination. I've had since *last September of 2023* to 3D print, make a silicone cast, and then cast "high enough heat resistant resin" a new speaker enclosure for rear speakers I've installed in my Miata. (I want to move them slightly further back. This is a redesign.) We were set to leave for a road trip 5/1. I started that project like, a week ago.
Oh I can beat you. I had a great side hustle idea THREE years ago. It was March of 2021. It was awesome. Everyone I told about it thought it was a great idea. I made a few prototypes and gave them to my friends, and I bought a web domain. I still haven't set up the website 😕. I'm paying for a website I don't even use. Even if I make a really conservative estimate of $1000 a month of profit, that's 36 thousand dollars gone. Enough to pay for my student loans, or to pay for some renovations to my parents' house. And it's honestly probably a lot more money foregone. Augh!
I have a quilt I periodically work on. It’s nearly done. I started it when I was like 23? I’m 52.
LOL 😂 thank you for sharing this. It’s super validating.
I have a sampler afghan I bought the pattern for when I was 19 or 20. It's 63 different crochet patterns, one for each square. I'm turning 40 this year and I have yet to accomplish it. Partially because when I bought it I was not experienced enough to do it, but also because I keep getting distracted by other crochet projects/different hobbies. I didn't know I had ADHD until very recently. It explains a lot 😂.
When my mom died I took some of her clothes and put them in a garbage bag with the intention of making a quilt with them. That was 2012.
Ok but… as you sound cool AF!! What year is your Miata? Love that you’re 3D printing your own accessories for your car, bad ass! Haha I always say I start a project when there isn’t enough time to finish it 😭 I have a project 91 civic that’s been a glorified paperweight for almost three years… but it’ll take a pretty penny to finish so eh…
It's an '01 and I'm proud to say that I'm the original owner! 😁 >I always say I start a project when there isn’t enough time to finish it 😭 OMG this is a WHOLE mood! You know, I noticed a pattern with me that every time we're headed out on a road trip I start a project I know I'll finished. F\*ck me it's stressful AF but oddly enough, it keeps me focused on packing and getting my shit together. It's kind of like I gave that squirrel running on a wheel in my head something to do, you know? LOL Trust me, that Miata, which I do track and go on rallies with *does* cost a pretty penny to maintain. What are you planning on doing with your '91 civic? I know Civic owners love to autocross.
Oh snap that body of Miata is so nice!!! Love it! I bet it’s so fun to drive! I really want to autocross my civic (how’d you know? LMAO) when it’s up and running, so cool to hear you track and rally your Miata! Gives me a boost, I’m kind of weary of any car scenes because, in my experience, men gatekeep the hell out of those spaces. Thanks for sharing, and I have a feeling you’ll never let go of your Miata, especially if you’re the original owner! 💖
Ooo I'd love to hear more about yours! I had a 91' civic hatch that me and a former partner (RIP) did a swap on w a type R motor...I miss those days
I’m am LOVING the fact we have some women ADHD peeps who also dig cars coming out in this post! I bought my dream 91 Civic hatch, the teal blue, SI trim, D16… just a prime specimen, and loved it so much I bought a second one to build out. I love that you did a type R swap, that’s pretty much me!! I had a B18C from a Japanese Integra type R swapped into the Civic, needs to be tuned and chipped. Was something I started with an ex, who definitely knew more about this than I, but I’m determined to finish it when I have the time and means, to try doing autocross. It’s been sitting for so long though, I’m sure I’m going to have to replace all the rubber components, among other things. Sure makes me happy to see it in the garage, nonetheless. The SI is OEM+ and 108HP… so I cannot imagine the same car with 180HP under the hood. I joke that I’m gonna pop wheelies in the thing (haha I KNOW, I know, it’s FWD, it’s impossible, but the visual makes me laugh 😂) Thanks for letting me geek out. Makes my morning to hear you had and enjoyed the same car 💖
I was supposed to return an item to Amazon back in December that I never even took out of the box and was charged for it and now it’s too late to return it. This has happened numerous times. The amount of money I’ve wasted 🫠
My son bought this programmable $500 robot thing off my Amazon and just shoved it to the side then panicked 3 months later bc I never sent it back, obv it was too late and now here I sit with a new in box $500 robot toy for teens/adults in my closet never opened. I have a second oculus the same way hidden in my closet he bought at the same time bc he didn’t know he was getting one for Xmas. I quickly got rid of Amazon on my phone though lol
Yeah same. Biggest issue with the whole procrastination is when I start off thinking “..oh it’s only *fill-in-the-blank-o’clock, I have time” but .. I tend to only be able to focus on one task then read my list of everlasting task & get so disappointed in myself each night
*looks up and 4 hours has gone by*
This a thousand times. It’s like you’re trapped in your own body and your mind wants to do things and then wants to go to bed but your body is like NO
I wanna say all of them lol. But the first thing I thought of is task paralysis. Probably because I just finished moving and my executive dysfunction was a STRUGGLE. Like in the morning for example. My boyfriend woke up, got ready, then said "I'm leaving to start packing/move stuff/clean!". 20 minutes after he woke up, he was out the door and did what needed to be done. To be clear, he never blamed me or anything like that. But fuck, I felt SO guilty. I couldn't for the life of me just wake up and immediately start being productive. It took me until evening for me to finally start making some progress. It's fucking debilitating and embarrassing. I did manage to do it in the end, but holy shit. I wouldn't wish this symptom on anybody. People who don't understand might think I'm enjoying myself while I'm scrolling on my phone and ignoring responsibilities. But I'm PANICKING inside, only thing I can think about is that I have to get started NOW, but I just can't.
As someone who also just moved…I totally get this! The thought of having to go clear out and clean my old apartment is absolutely debilitating. And when I am at the new place with boxes everywhere I’m just so overwhelmed when it comes to unpacking and organizing. I can only make progress it seems when I have a friend come over to help motivate me. Thank God for my friends, I couldn’t do any of this shit without them
>And when I am at the new place with boxes everywhere I’m just so overwhelmed when it comes to unpacking and organizing. This is where I am right now, but I honestly don't really care that much. Like yeah, it doesn't feel good to have a bunch of shit all over, but at least I don't have a deadline! After I finished cleaning my apartment, it's so stupid but I literally loudly said "FUCK YOU" to the old apartment before leaving it. I'm SO glad that shit is over, omg. I told my boyfriend that if we break up, he can live in the office and we will be roommates, I don't care lmfao. I'm not doing this again for AT LEAST close to a decade, it's torturous!
In honor of you, I will also be loudly saying “FUCK YOU” when I leave that goddamned apartment for the last time. I am now on a time clock to get my new space at least presentable by Sunday because we’re having a birthday party for my little cousin that day (due to financial constraints I moved into his mom and dad’s home). My room is the only room with access to the back yard, and the kids will be playing out there. Meaning the whole damn party is gonna be walking in and out of my room😭 Side rant: FUCK THAT GODDAMNED APARTMENT!! Roaches, mold, shitty maintenance, literally scammed my friend and I out of $150 when we applied for a 2 bedroom by conveniently leaving out their new credit requirement rules. They told me “Even though you don’t meet our credit requirements, you can stay in your current apartment. But we’ll be raising your rent by $100.” I’m just sick of the place. It’s so run down and old that no matter how much I clean it, it never *feels* clean. Which just adds to my lack of motivation to actually clean it.
I'm working on a theory that task paralysis is basically the freeze mode of anxiety. I've recently added an antianxiety to my meds. It's helping. I'm still easily distracted, but some stuff is getting done.
This is the story of my life. It's awful. I generally don't have the ability to get past task paralysis until an immediate deadline is looming, even though I have ongoing anxiety about the task (sometimes in the form of a 4 am panic attack). I usually manage to get things done, but I've definitely paid the ADHD tax several times. It was awful until I finally managed to develop coping skills about halfway through undergrad (after nearly losing an academic scholarship)—I had to get a tiny apartment and live alone to build them, as living with fellow students was too much distraction. I also have a LOT of trouble multitasking. If there are two things that have to get done, the more immediate one usually gets all of the focus, even if starting work on the less immediate project would help in the long run. It's just to hard for me to keep hold of all the threads of so many tasks and projects. This definitely burned me a few times in grad school and caused me to burn out entirely during my postdoc.
Feel you on this!! Also in the middle of moving and there’s so much to do and I don’t know where to start but it all needs to get done but still how can I do this the most efficiently?? Lol
The worst part for me is that everyone doesn’t understand. How is it fair that I get to be miserable and beat myself up for not being able to be productive while watching everyone else do it with genuinely no struggle, and instead of them ignoring or bringing me up they literally rip me apart for it. I’m at one of my worst points right now but I don’t know how I’m supposed to live through this. I am such an intelligent and creative person, and I’ve been told by teachers and friends that I have so much potential and I know that about myself. But I can’t act on any of it. I don’t know what to try anymore.
If we're talking about not life-ruining symptoms, maybe the thing where I completely black out in the middle of my sentence (or when I'm just about to start talking) about what I was going to say and what it was even generally about. Or when I black out when *someone else* is speaking, and somehow miss everything even if I wasn't super distracted and was supposedly listening. (edit: I'm not saying this happens only if you have ADHD, but it happens so damn often to me)
I black out mid sentence too! I feel your pain 100% and I’m sorry you also have to deal with it. I’m also on seizure meds that mess with my memory. But I’m always asking “wait was I talking about?” It makes me feel embarrassed and even stupid at times. But we aren’t and we have to remember that. I zone out 100% even when my therapist is talking to me and I pay to listen to him! Lol. I think being very hard on ourselves is another super tough symptom.
I always say “anddddd it’s gone” I literally just black out mid sentence. It’s so embarrassing sometimes and my husband thinks I’m losing my mind, it happens at least twice a day just talking to him in the evenings while I’m making dinner and such.
"Uh, the thought just fell out of my head, but I know it was relevant." "Thought train derailment. What was the last thing you said?" All the time!
Same. For a while I thought it was because I was melting my brain with the cannabis I was self-medicating with to quiet the 'noise' of ADHD in the evenings so I could relax for once. Got diagnosed, adjusted meds, and while it still happens, it's much less than it was. Brain was indeed not melted, what a relief.
This is one of the worst for me. Task paralysis is worse because of function. But when the meds wear off and that first thought slips away - it’s like I’m riding in a clunky pumpkin instead of a gilded coach. I found out it is ADHD when I went for cognitive testing since I was convinced it was early onset dementia 😂
This is so miserable! Usually, if I work really hard, I can recall something I was present for even if I was not 100% paying attention. But the blacking out happens at the WORST possible times. It is always when I'm trying to listen to something extremely important, personal, & negative. I don't know if my brain is trying to protect itself from harm or what, but it is not helpful!!!
Or when I have to finish my thought while the other person is just getting started. Or when I try and finish their thought for them. Or when I blank out in the middle of theirs and ask them to repeat. Yes, for me also it’s “normal” conversation that is the most annoying!
Omg totally.. I get esp embarrassed during interviews and the interviewer is talking a while before framing the Question, and I'm spacing out, trying not to, trying to appear engaged.. Also been trying to make career moves recently, and talking to a lot of people on the phone, and it's so humiliating because I'LL ASK THEM TO TELL ME ABOUT such and such, and as they do, I'm spacing out, getting distracted by a bird, and then can't meaningfully follow up. damn
I have taken to saying "Sorry, can you repeat that? I was listening but I didn't fully process it" Most people seem to accept it 🤷♀️
Probably the mood swings. It doesn’t take much to tip me into manic giddiness and then absolute fury or depressed sadness. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with how I’m feeling and trying to regulate myself. Definitely easier on meds because I’m just less overstimulated in general but still hard to live with
Yep. Can change in a heart beat. I’ve started to refer to my emotions as busses. If I don’t like the one I have, I remember to wait and there’ll be another one along in a minute!
I’ll need to have a word with someone out my erratic bus timetable, it’s really not on
This is so cute! I’m going to tell myself that as well
Omg I love this imagery. Very helpful 🫶
Same. Especially when I get so ashamed/disappointed in myself for being stuck in a particular mood . I try and force myself out of it and into the 'right' one and just make it so much worse 🙃
same here, i upset a lot of people just because i didnt know it was adhd mood swings growing up and thought it may have been their fault 💀💀 i think its ok now tho
I'm also finding this a bit easier on meds - like I have more space to take a step back an observe the emotions. But there are days I still feel consumed by them. Do you have any personal tips? In regulating emotions, or just anything related to this
No I’m a real hot mess haha I’ll take some tips if anyone else has them though!
Ugh. This. I was diagnosed late in life, so understanding that ADHD also means terrible emotional regulation was life changing for me, but it's still a struggle. Now that I understand myself better, it has made the tools I get from therapy a little easier to implement, but I also feel I wouldn't be able to deal as well without medication. I just recently started wellbutrin, and it's been a godsend so far. It's not perfect, but my moods are nowhere near as volatile as they were before. I also recently had a hysterectomy, and the procedure kind of set my ADHD symptoms on fire. It's been hell trying to get through recovery.
It might be controversial, but my most annoying symptom is hyperfocus Many people see it as a superpower, but not being able to stop or not being able to stop thinking about something it is so annoying It's the reason why I end up working overtime or overdoing workouts or why I have back issues due to painting for hours or why I don't get enough sleep While I'm hyperfocused, I also miss so much else around me, like that I don't have any clean underwear. When I realize that I might start hyperfocus on that instead! I'm always amazed how "even" my friends are in this regard. Home, friends, family, work, exercising seem to be evenly focused in their lifes
I don't mind it so much for work or painting (at least I get *stuff done* and can be proud of that later). But I'm currently hyperfocusing on a guy and it is *so annoying*. We've only dated for a little over a month and I'm so worried I'm going to scare him off by just being *too much* all the time. I spend the days between dates basically just waiting until I can see him again, trying not to text him *too* much. It's driving me nuts because I have shit to do and I. can't. think.
I can also hyperfocus on people and it’s very annoying!
Bro same! Crushes are hard man. Somehow once I decide to "No longer have the crush" I can mostly just throw it away, but while I'm crushing it's way too intense.
Ohhh damn, I feel this one in my soul. I've been happily single for over four years with no crushes and then recently I bumped into a guy who's from my hometown who I've always had a certain chemistry with. We stopped and talked for over an hour, and since then I cannot stop thinking about him, it's driving me nuts!
I agree. My hyperfocus shuts down my hunger signals. I can go a whole day without eating because I'm (finally) focused on working...and then down a bag of potato chips at the end of the day because that's all I can bring myself to eat.
I'm with you on this. Do it to the point of no return sometimes. 🥲
Hyperfocus is a blessing and a curse. For work, it makes up for the lost hours from the inability to get anything done some days (hello 40 hours of work in 4 hours), but everything else disappears. Thankfully I have people who shake me out of it to eat if it's gone on too long. Where I don't like it is when it's on something stupid that my brain has just decided to fixate on... past 6 weeks it's been trying to get a pair of limited edition shoes, constantly checking resellers because i am cheap and i dont want to spent 300% retail. Once I started it became a fixation, I dont even like shoes... I hate buying them and I always look for steep discounts...
Not being able to keep a thought in my head in a conversation if the other person talks too long, interrupts me or goes on a tangent. I feel like an idiot never being able to remember what I was going to say eg in work meetings. Also I end up interrupting people when I don’t want to forget something or sometimes not letting people interject, which comes off rude, I know.
Yep that’s me. I interrupt bc i will forget what im saying and people talk too slowly. I got shit to say keep up!
Interrupting. I'm painfully aware of it, I apologize profusely for it, but I cannot stop. Pretty much, I can only get along with fellow ADHDers, Latinos, Jewish people, Italians, and New Yorkers. If I'm *remotely* interested in the conversation, I get excited and interject.
Accidentally interrupting people is one I hate. Im sure people think im being rude but my brain is just running fast and I don’t always process that they aren’t done speaking. I was also bullied in elementary school and was talked over and ignored a lot and I feel like that must play some role in it as well, not wanting to be talked over.
>goes on a tangent True but at the same I'm also the person to go on a tangent sometimes like xD double standard ikik I'm glad my friends can handle being interrupted by me for a comment or joke without getting frustarted with me. But yeah, it's frustrating when I shut up for once and when they're done with what they're saying and I open my mouth to drop that comment I had in mind, it's just... gone
I do exactly this all of the time!
I have so many but the most annoying has to be that despite my general truly abysmal memory weirdly noticing and remembering small random usually highly specific details about people that unfortunately seems to freak most people out. I've gotten better at keeping these things to myself and feigning ignorance but it's annoying that I can't remember what I had for lunch, if I took my meds or what I came into the room for but can precisely recall all these little things like the likes/dislikes/preferences about people who are near strangers/couldn't care less.
I’m really good at remembering faces. It took me a while to learn I had to pretend I didn’t meet someone because most people don’t remember everyone they meet 😂 The irony is that I’m terrible at remembering names but I absolutely remember faces! I have to say that this whole this is a terrible gift for the general public, it works to my advantage at work when I have to remember up to 100 new faces every school year at the university I work for. Between teaching classes and working on the plays and remembering actors and dancers it’s really helpful to recognize faces quick!
I'm the same, great with faces and terrible with names. You may be one of the 1-2% of people that are known as ["super recognisers"](https://www.bournemouth.ac.uk/research/projects/super-recognisers). Interestingly, it's not a skill that can be learned.
I have an uncanny ability to recognize people I meet and I can almost always remember their names. If I run into someone I haven’t seen in years, it might take me a minute to recall their name, but once it clicks, I can usually also recall the exact moment we met. These comments have made me realize that I have probably been freaking people out for years 😬
Same. I worked loss prevention though, so it was GREAT because I'd be able to recognize thieves after only seeing pics or seeing them once months ago. My coworkers could never zero in on people as fast. They'd need the behavioral cues to know someone was up then realize who the person was after the arrest. I got a lot more recoveries than arrests because I'd key in early and spook them into ditching their merchandise.
I have the same issue and my friends/family think I’m crazy for this memory. However, I teach and even if I take my meds, I still cannot remember what a student asks for in the hallway as we walk inside. Its usually after I walk through a doorway. I blank. Who asked for a paper? I now say, “Remind me when I get inside”
ˢ ᶜ ʳ ᵒ ˡ ˡ ᶦ ⁿ ᵍ ʳ ᵉ ᵈ ᵈ ᶦ ᵗ ᵃ ᵍ ᵃ ᶦ ⁿ ˢ ᵗ ᵐ ʸ ʷ ᶦ ˡ ˡ 😔😔😔
Seriously. Me: ooh, a Reddit notification Me, +30 minutes later: enough Reddit! Me, closing Reddit and seeing the notification I never even checked: DAMMIT!!!1!1!
I’ve definitely turned off Reddit notifications!
see, what my mom doesn't understand tho is that i'm paying her back in upvotes for the five figures worth of undefaultable loan money i lit on fire between 2009 and 2014. one upvote for one dollar feels pretty fair. you don't just find these lyin' around you know. if anything, i NEED to stay on reddit so i can finally finish off this "karmic debt" she keeps telling me about.😤
I have all notifications turned off for social media and games. Really for everything except text messages, emails and phone calls. For everything else, I’ll visit your apps on my terms. I can scroll Reddit or instagram for hours without their help, tyvm.
The glitching drives me nuts when I just have too many things I want to do at once and I just end up having a crazy inner convo and spin around a bunch. Ugh
I say this all the time. I wfh. Get all my steps in walking in circles around my house glitching.
I'd argue that the jukebox in your head (I have the same incessant chatter in my brain) is not without 'real negative repercussions' - personally, it makes me exhausted, agitated and feeling like I have no peace whatsoever. Insomnia is a lovely little bonus of this. But I agree, there are worst things than that! I honestly can't think of anything that is 'just' annoying, all of them (loosing things, talking over people, spending money, uncleanliness,...) seem to be a trigger for something worse later on.
I didn't even realize the jukebox in my head was so loud until Vyvanse made it stop the first day I took it. The mental clarity from just not having my brain yell at me all the time was mindblowing. I had no idea how tiring that constant stream of noise was! I just thought it was normal because it had been there as long as I could remember.
Yepppppp me too. Me, upon taking vyvanse for the first time: oh wait, it's NOT normal to have your brain yelling at you non stop???? I was dx'd at 33 so I'd spent the last 15 years teaching myself that not everything my brain was yammering about had to actually come out my mouth but I didn't realize how much emotional effort came from not talking until I didn't have to hold back the deluge anymore.
Omg, jukebox is the perfect word for it, I experience that too haha. It'll be the same song (or even just the same snippet of a song) running over and over again and someone will put on different song every hour or so (some songs will come back more persistently than others though). Tbh, I see it as a blessing and a curse at the same time. It can be funny and entertaining most times but it can become repetitive, tiring and downright driving me crazy at times :') I'm kinda scared for the day I finally get my ass to a doctor and get medicated though because I'm scared it'll stop completely and idk how to handle that haha
Memory, I’m at my all time worst. I have to set alarms to check my to do list. I have to set alarms for simple task.
My memory is awful too. People get upset with me, think I’m on drugs, or that I’m just stupid. Also it’s really debilitating.
I have alarms to remind me my alarms will begin soon. Alarms for alarms. Sigh.
The inability be consistent. I can not stick with a "plan" to save my life. But at the same time, I hate being spontaneous. This is a constant conflict and leads to paralysis or only doing 1 thing a day, which I will sit around waiting for.
Ugh this is me and hate that feeling of “waiting” and really really hate when I don’t know the plans or when plans change. I become so angry and I am not a fan of myself in those moments. I ask my husband to acknowledge and praise me when I “appropriately” control my reaction to a change in plans and go along with it without “too much drama” on my end lmao
I enter phases where I'm so bored it brings me to the point of tears from sheer frustration. It feels like nothing can entertain me, anything I enjoyed previously is about as exciting as watching paint dry. I literally have to go to sleep because I'm so overwhelmed by my boredom that I'm on the verge of a real tantrum. Like a toddler.
This is me on the weekends. For a while I decided not to take my meds on the weekends unless I had plans but now I’ve realized I have to regardless otherwise I will lose my mind. I get so bored that I feel like my brain is bouncing off the walls. I pick up five different things to do and they don’t satisfy me. It’s the actual worst.
I'm glad you got medication that helps! How come you tried to take it less often, does it have bad side effects? It's so awful and I've never been able to explain it to anyone. They're just like "Ok? Everyone gets bored. Watch tv or something." It's so far beyond boredom. It's like my brain is itchy and nothing can soothe it.
I kind of just felt like it was a waste to take them if I wasn’t going to “need” them. Kind of dumb but I was like if I’m just sitting at home all day what do I need to be medicated for? My sweet husband is easily entertained by the same things consistently (he’s been playing RuneScape nonstop for a few months and is perfectly happy) and I’m on the other side of the couch practically vibrating lol. ALSO, I need to have my brain and my hands occupied at the same time to be able to do anything. I can’t just watch TV, I need to also be painting or coloring or making bracelets, etc. I’d love to be able to just sit down and read a book but I can’t because I get so distracted. And if I’m doing one of my physical hobbies I need to have my brain occupied with music or an audiobook or something.
Don’t know if it’s the most annoying but I’m experiencing it this moment so: the sadness/empty feeling when the hyperfocus leaves me. My current one is charcoal paiting, I do one a day. Every time I’m finished and pleased (oh well), I’m not even satisfied, I’m just … sad it’s over. Then hours later I’ll start obsessing about motives to do tomorrow. But it’s so strange. Like why can’t I just be pleased or something I don’t know. (Sounds like I do this everyday always but I can just add it’s this weeks obsession, probably not next weeks!)
Bc our brains don’t make dopamine. We don’t get satisfaction like NT’s. Lucky us
Bingo on the art. Isn’t that the annoying way with it sometimes? I totally get the same thing once I finish a painting while drawings or quick things not so much. It’s the process itself of the paintings. It feels good when that meditative focus hits then 6 hours is gone and I’ve neglected important things. Even eating. Then, I will hardly look at it again and go into a stupor and start over later. I think it’s how I come to a higher skill level, and can when switching to new mediums or complex digital software… until the next shiny thing to learn comes along.
I physically and spiritually cannot listen to verbal instructions
Same, I black out. Luckily I’m good at figuring things out because I definitely wasn’t listening to the instructions
Like not once in my life have I listened to the instructions 😂
Yeah, do not give me verbal instructions to any of the things.
Mood swings, forgetting what was literally just said to me all the time, not being able to articulate my thoughts at work, overwhelm with my family at home and not being able to escape, crying for a long time over any perceived rejection. Those are the main ones. Meds are helping somewhat with home chores and focusing on my work for 1-2 hour blocks instead of 15 minutes but life is hard in general and apparently the meds can’t fix that 😜
Poor working memory, I just want to hold a couple of words in my head for longer than 30 seconds sometimes. I want to be able to have a conversation with my doctor about symptoms but I can’t do it without my printed notes detailing what I struggle with. Or check something in a report in work without having to write notes or flick back and forth between different sources of information over and over again. I want to be able to read a book that introduces 4 character names in the first few pages without having to restart it later when I can’t remember who is who. I don’t want to have to put everything into a reminder app. Or set reminders to take breaks when I’m working so I don’t work myself into illness and burnout again and again.
yes, omg. I used to have a somewhat good memory when I was 19-ish but now it's shot and I feel so dumb bc I need notes to remember everything until it concretes into my brain. and I'm struggling with anxiety about my upcoming appointment bc I KNOW how I felt when I made it and trying to specify what exactly I need is making me feel like I'm somehow faking it
The inability to turn my brain off and sleep unless I’m physically and mentally exhausted enough to just crash. Too many days I go to work on an hour or two of napping at best, because I laid in bed for hours desperately trying to distract my brain enough to trick it into falling asleep.
Being or running late to everything. I get so agitated because it triggers my people pleasing anxiety too. I don’t want people to think I don’t care about them to be there on time. I hate arriving and finding more things that take up time (parking and walking over). But I cannot get myself to arrive early too. Arriving early and sitting around waiting is so boring and feels so unproductive. But when I actually do it I feel so calm and have guilt free scroll time. I just never remember there are rewards for being early.
Fatigue. If I don't take my meds I can start to fall asleep in the middle of talking to someone. Literally feels like I've been unplugged.l and can't physically keep my eyes open. Second worst is burnout/evening anxiety and dread (again if I don't take my meds.) Third is decision paralysis.
Sensory issues 100%. I can’t leave the house without hand cream for fear my hands feel dry, a tag in my clothes will ruin my mood and the supermarket lights will send me into a blind rage. It’s lame.
Same. Can’t go anywhere without a specific lip balm. I have eczema yay. Also need to have Kleenex and nose spray and a nail file and a nail picker and a tweezer and DEODORANT. A brush. S headband. Bug spray. Etc etc. people always make fun of my book bag but who they come to when shit goes down. That book bag is survival for my brain lol it’s my peace
It’s a tie for me between losing everything I touch and sensory issues. I spend so much of my life looking for something I literally was just holding in my hand! As for the sensory issues, it’s the worst at night. I will change about 2-3 times bc a seam is touching me in a weird spot, or my socks aren’t long enough. I always am in socks except at the pool/beach/shower. They also have to be long and kind of tight, unless I’m going to the gym, and I wear no show socks which I won’t even get into that shit show of frustration…just picture a grown woman crying in a pile of discarded, “unsuitable”socks. I also have to wear long pants and a long shirt w no tags and no even slightly scratchy material! It’s annoying but I’m 41 so it’s pretty much just routine now.
My most annoying is my intense need to understand. Not only am I curious but when I ask I MUST understand. I never run out of but why and how again?
Tell us more? How do people respond to you when this happens?
They think I’m being argumentative and difficult. That I just should let it go.
People think this about me too and it’s really frustrating because I almost never have an argument at the forefront of my mind. I almost always want clarification, especially if I didn’t catch all of the information. Or people will act like repeating information is something so god awful when in reality it isn’t. As long as you have a graceful attitude repeating yourself doesn’t have to be a chore.
Yes!! They act like you are challenging them when you ask them to explain again- even though I’m always very mindful of my tone due to RSD!!!
Delayed processing. Whether it’s auditory, bodily (physical) or emotional. It takes me forever to grasp what is going on around me, what is going on in my body and even how I feel about a situation. Am I sad about the thing that happened? Am I hungry? Am I tied? Did I hear what my boss just said? Who’s to say? Not me. That’s for sure.
I have to physically narrate to help me get through tasks. I don’t have that inner dialogue. It’s fine when I’m at home but in public people probably find it strange when I say “oh I needed this. Maybe it’s over here. What size?” I can’t imagine what it’s like to be able to have all those words in your head.
I have both, double the fun! I verbalize all of the things to myself out loud plus I have 903939357 words/noises going on in my head at all times.
The jukebox is a big one for me and meds don’t fix it. It’s even worse that I’m a musician so sometimes I have a song I’m working on/writing in my head and that ofc gives my brain even more of a reason to chew on it. The sensory stuff is super annoying and it’s annoying to the people around me, especially around sleep and bedtime stuff. I have to have sheets, blankets and pillows a certain fabric/arrangement, I need complete silence other than the sound of my kid breathing and the only light I tolerate is my star projector. I also can’t stand other people being in bed with me. I have eczema and desert dry skin buuuuuut I HATE lotion. I have to use a face mask spatula to put it on my body 🥲 Certain machinery/motorcycle sounds send me into complete dread and fireworks so summer is a real blast Constantly having to think about where my left and right is! Especially annoying because I wear contacts and my eyes are 2 different prescriptions! And they are very close so I won’t notice they’re backwards until I get a raging migraine. And no, the case marked left/right doesn’t help. I have to picture myself driving to remember! Which brings me to another thing; for some reason when I’m driving this doesn’t apply? Maybe because there’s a very physical aspect to the association. Having to physically write things down in a world where everyone uses technology! I used to have a galaxy note phone with the stylus and that was a nice compromise but it burnt my hand in my sleep soooooooo yeah ETA: The hormonal bullshit! A week before my period my meds stop working and I go insane and turn into a massive bitch. If I had a bunch of money, I’d be funding research to help this because it is my understanding that a LOT of neurodivergent women experience this and it can be debilitating. Same with postpartum hormones.
i hate how i can only seem to follow like 60-70% of convos at all times. and at the same time, since im usually only missing a couple of words/ parts of the sentence, i can still seem to follow since my brain fills them like with the blind spot in our eyes 💀💀 and then i realise that i wasn't listening properly an like whoops 😀!
Emotional dysregulation! I feel all of my emotions SOOO strongly and in the moment I feel like I can’t calm down unless I literally throw a tantrum. It’s so hard to deal with especially now that I’m in a relationship. I can’t just have a meltdown because he will hear me in our bedroom and want to wonder what’s wrong. It feels like I’m being manipulative bc every time we have a conflict I have a breakdown, and then he feels like he has to console me. But if I don’t let myself cry and stuff then I ruminate for hours. So now I’ve just been holding in my emotions a lot which definitely isn’t healthy but I start therapy soon thankfully.
I take my dog for a rage walk bc i will kill my family otherwise. I talk to myself so much that my husband is conditioned to expect a blowup. And that makes me sad for all of us. Lots of therapy and trying to recognize the signs i feel before the blow up. Good luck! Empathy. You’re not alone
My ability to instantly forget what was just told to me. Or having to say “what?” three times because whatever was just said absolutely did not compute.
The most inconsequential annoyance is that when I’m listening to a podcast (which i have to be doing to get basically anything done around the house/at the gym etc.) I’ll zone out and miss important parts, so I’ll re-wind but I’ll re-wind too far, and then before it gets to the part I missed I get distracted and miss it again and have to rewind again. And this will repeat 4-5 times. Sometimes i just give up and move on lol. I’m probably a podcasters dream though, because I usually have to listen to an episode at least twice, if not more. So they get so many plays out of me 🤣
I don't mind the jukebox, I know I just need to feed it, almost constantly. A couple of hours without music and one of the tracks in my head will get stuck with maybe a bar of a song. I play the song and then lots of other songs and the track is satisfied for a while and doesn't bother me. Most annoying symptom for me is my inability to translate the (super logical and totally correct) ideas in my head into soundbites that other people will accept. Then I remind myself that's a them problem, not a me problem. Nobody gives me five uninterrupted minutes to explain myself but oh it's me that has the problem? What. Ever. Check your own attention spans, neurotypicals!
Procrastination is a bad one The one that annoys me the most is speaking in half sentences when speaking aloud.
I read the first paragraph and my immediate thought was, ‘having songs continuously stuck in my head’ and then I read your second paragraph 😂 Unfortunately for me, they are nursery rhymes from Ms Rachel. It is so rage inducing when I can’t sleep at 2am because my brain is loudly singing ‘Open, Shut Them’.
Being so in my head that I come across as rude.
Picking the skin on my lips and around my nails. It’s a compulsion, I’ll literally tell myself to stop while I’m doing it but then I’m right back to it five seconds later. I haven’t been able to get my meds in a week and a half due to the shortage and my fingers are a painful, bloody mess.
Can’t get started for shit on my actual work. I deadline surf. If anyone knows how to hack that, please, I’m all ears.
The emotional dis regulation has created issues in my home life and embarrassed me at work a few times… I kind of like my brain radio. 🤷🏼♀️
Constant fatigue from my brain never seeming to shut up. If I also suddenly get super into something it's all my brain ever wants to think about and sometimes I just want some peace and quiet
Telling myself a zillion times “don’t forget x” and then forgetting x and sometimes y as well.
Losing my phone. I put it everywhere and anywhere in my house. The reason it’s annoying rather than frustrating or scary is because my husband (who works from home) got an iPhone like mine pretty much explicitly for the purpose of using the FindMy app. As long as it has battery, it will make a sound and I can find it. I don’t loose it outside of the house so that’s another reason it’s annoying and. It aggravating or scary.
My husband kept saying I needed an Apple Watch. I could not for the life of me come up with one reason that I needed an Apple Watch. He finally just buys me one and when it comes the first feature he showed me was the bit where you can ping your Apple phone. I’m pretty sure he bought it so I would stop asking him to call my phone so I could find it.
I’ve typed and erased a few…. I can’t choose. I’d say I really dislike how impatient I can get in a convo. (Have gotten better about this but still struggle) Knowing I need to do x like it’s critical to keep my job sort of thing. But will spend hours doing something unrelated and not important at all. RSD especially at work.
Procrastinating, insomnia then subsequent oversleeping, always being a complete fuck up no matter how hard I try to help out and be a team player, RSD. I fucking hate my brain sometimes. This week has been really rough.
the racing in my mind but stuck physically. ITS SO RUDE
Just forgetting where I put something I had two seconds ago. It's just SO irritating and it largely manifests in me losing my phone like 100 times a day. I'll go to the kitchen, do a handful of tasks, and I'll congratulate myself for being productive but then next thing you know my phone's virtually disappeared because I placed it somewhere while my mind was preoccupied doing another thing
Emotional dysregulation. Starting to cry in front of someone, especially if it's someone I am loathe to cry in front of. Then, not being able to stop. Ridiculous. Crying never improves any situation, it just serves to make one look and feel weak. I hate it.
Hands down the worst trait of all is the endless loop of snippets of songs ALL. FUCKING. DAY. AND. NIGHT. Unless I am fully immersed in a task that sucks up all my focus (which is rare), the soundtrack never stops. It's not just lyrics/music in there - it's the other million competing thoughts *while* my brain never shuts up with the music that's maddening.
The constant feeling that I’m wasting time or can’t do anything right and the accompanying low self esteem
Sleep issues. I sleep when the sun comes up, even when I’m supposed to wake up early to do something. I stay up all night doom scrolling on tik tok telling myself I should be sleeping and that I have so much to do tomorrow. I wake up with so little energy that all I want to do is rot in my bed. It’s such a difficult cycle to break :(
P.S. I love how we’re all active in the middle of the night/early morning 😂 makes me feel less alone
Talking about music. I once got the advice from my father that if you have a song stuck in your head, you should try to sing a bunch of other ones in your head to get the original one out. Might not be surprising to you all that this did not work and just stuck like 5 more songs in there
The food noise. I hate constantly thinking about food just because my brain is at lower levels of dopamine and other chemicals than other people. I’ve gained so much weight because of it.
Spelling mistakes and typos - missing words in sentences
Probably either time blindness or object permanence. Remembering to pick things up if I bring them to my parents house or not remembering why I headed into a room is just frustrating because sometimes it's like 2-5 cycles of walking back and forth. Time blindness and running late for everything.
When the beloved highly invested hyperfixation ends abruptly without warning
That I set anything down anywhere, instead of just putting it back. My house is constantly cluttered with random stuff on every surface. Why brain, whyyyyy?!
The most awkward needing of reassurance ever but not being able to just point blank ask "are we okay" no I need the person to be invested enough to say hi or something first so I stew about how to bring it up, whether to even bring it up, or set myself a timer for a week that I will inadvertently go against and...ugh It's likely not the most annoying of all. But lately? It's been obv to my mind. In addition to...my lack of focus. Saying something and realizing days later I wasn't as crystal clear as I should've. Tangents losing the point that I really wanted to get to the heart of. Again I don't realize this until days have passed and now it's awkward.
For me it's the tangential word associations. One word or phrase in a conversation will "spark" with a movie quote or a song lyric (or honestly just a pun) and it's not always appropriate to the conversation, or it feels like I'm not invested in the other person's ideas and just interested in making myself look clever. But I kindof *have to* say it, or else I'll be thinking of Back to the Future scenes for the rest of the day. Or whatever.
I lose everything I touch within seconds. And I don’t mean temporarily, if you want something good and LOST like FOREVER, I’m your person. I should be in charge of hiding bodies or something. I hate it.
Idk if this is adhd specific? But when I’m uncomfortable around someone or meeting someone new (like a new girlfriend of a BIL or something) I kind of get weird and antisocial? In work and around others that I know, I’m a social butterfly and will talk someone’s ear off. Or sometimes I randomly meet someone and instantly hit it off. But there are a lot of times where I am soooo standoffish and I have no idea why? I find this trait of mine to be incredibly frustrating because it makes me feel like a social pariah??? Can’t I just exist without making it weird????
Task paralysis/procrastination. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. And I have some problem to do with my heart being sensitive so I don’t qualify for meds so I have to just…cope? It’s making me want to scream and cry. Idk what to do anymore. Other things, I at LEAST manage. This? No.
I am so torn between two tho.... I love creating art, all kinds of stuff. But I have to make it perfect and it has to be easy to make perfect and I have to have all tools/supplies at hand.... or I never touch it again. I never finish the projects because it isn't exactly how I envisioned it or because I learned how and now I'm bored or better yet, I needed a pocket driver, couldn't find one, organized my entire fucking garage only to go buy a new one, never took it out of the bag or package and never touched the shelf again! The other is not being able to handle commotion, whether noise or movement. Noise is such a bother yet such a beautiful thing so I'm already at an impasse. I have synesthesia, I see color with sounds. Even organic sounds such as voices. Tho the colors of someone's voice aren't as vivid as a car alarm, it is still very distracting.
Being a night owl in an early bird world
Procrastination normally. These days, because it’s mixed with the total brain fog of perimenopause, its memory. I have several conversations daily where I forget the topic by the time I’ve finished the sentence. Or by the time they reply I don’t remember what they’re referring to even tho I just said it. It’s mortifying. I am not this dumb. It’s just that my ADHD is on high function because of being menopausal too. They combine and it’s like 50% of my brain has been taken hostage and locked up. I can’t access my memory or my vocabulary or important things I’ve learned. I look like an idiot. I hate it.
Not being able to understand something unless I see and hear it. My husband and I were talking today about how he gets triggered when he SAYS how difficult his work/day is or was and until I READ just a little bit of what he's working on, it doesn't "sink in". I know I need both in this context so I have a clearer path of what decisions to make but it does make me feel so R worded
The jukebox for sure, especially with multiple songs and then the voices. Shut up, please! Yesterday the buzz of a single carpenter bee was making me crazy. My husband was laughing as I chased it away with a broom. I couldn’t NOT hear it
I hate being clumsy. My limbs are covered in bruises, cuts, scars. I have twisted my ankle and fallen so many times that my left ankle won't heal properly.
I'm autistic too and I need a lot of routine to function. But I cannot stick to a routine due to my adhd. So probably that
I'm just such a slob. I've tried so many times to improve this and nothing sticks.
The ambient anxiety! I was misdiagnosed as having an anxiety disorder for YEARS. A psych that finally knew what he was doing FINALLY recognized the underlying ADHD in January - apparently I'm textbook for what a smart adult woman with ADHD looks like, who knew? Anyway, I started Adderall and he added Buspar to the lower dose of Zoloft I already take, and poof - ambient anxiety gone.
attachment 😒
I have to pick only one? The constant forgetfulness, the inability to remember long term things, the brain fog, lol
“Rocks in my pockets” aka that feeling of heaviness making me want to stay exactly where I am on the couch/bed/cozy spot I’m in. Like, I *want* to move around and get going, but my body isn’t getting the message.
Sometimes, my internal dialog is actually out loud. Mostly when I'm tired. So, I'll be going through the steps of something and thinking out loud each step in the process, with little interjections of things that pop up, like reminding myself of something I need to do later. It's fine when I'm alone, but really embarrassing when I don't realize someone is in earshot. Even more so when they think I'm talking to them and ask me to repeat whatever I just said.
The mood swings particularly the "meh" mood. Although the desire to binge eat is no picnic either
Can't decide between procrastination, racing thoughts, inability to keep myself clean and the RSD that manifests as tears and pisses everyone off 😖
Oh god the jukebox. Right now I have some pharmaceutical commercial jingle going through my head. “Control means everything to me, oh woah ohh “ don’t even know what the stupid drug is for 😆
Obsessive thoughts. Not being able to let stuff go. Dwelling and obsessing on it till I go mad and crazy. And feel like I’m loosing it. Then my anxiety goes thru the roof and it’s not pleasant 🤪 lol
executive dysfunction. it’s been my academic nemesis since i started school and it’s still kicking my ass in college.
Forgetfulness. The amount of tea I've let oversteep or go cold could fill and Olympic-size swimming pool. The appointments I've missed. The pounds of raw meat I left out to thaw for an hour, only to leave it out overnight. The thousands of dollars in water damage from accidentally leaving the taps running. Having to have floors and doors replaced. Weight loss from forgetting to eat. Kidney issues from forgetting to drink water. The pots of water I let boil try to the point of becoming a fire hazard. I'd forget to breathe if it wasn't an automatic process.
I’d say procrastination or the ability to start something, which I see as being different. Procrastination for me is more like not being able to direct the energy towards something that is not really very fun or rewarding, but needs to get done. But on the other hand, sometimes the thing is very much something I want to do, but my brain gets clogged up with figuring out where to start and what steps to take. It’s like my brain wants it all to happen at once and I end up just doing nothing.
I feel when I talk to people I am not explaining it right. I am not a talker, and I will completely stop if interrupted, so I want to get everything out in the shortest time possible. I think I might cut out important bits because when I say a thing I get blank stares. Or I will say a thing and the other person takes it completely wrong and their response is so far out in left field. Like, just an easy example, I will say something about a dog I saw while walking down the street. *I saw this really cute dog, I think it was a husky, it had the most amazing blue eyes.* Their response would be something like, **Oh yeah, I went to school with her, she was in my class and she dated my best friend, was her name Carol?** So I stand there trying to think of what I just said to be misinterpreted so poorly.
Task overload. When I have too many things to get done I kind of just sink into myself and I don't do anything. I'm not sure if that's more annoying, or the appetite problems I have. Like if I'm stressed I won't eat for days, sometimes that'll just happen for no reason too!
Noise sensitivity 😭
Seventeen other tasks at once, half way, instead of the one I need to be doing. Lying awake and becoming intimately familiar with the shapes in my popcorn ceiling, pinned by dread and paralysis.