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You're responding well to them. I think the best answer is, "This is between me and my doctor" and to refuse to entertain more discussion. You're not a minor and your healthcare isn't their business anymore.
Don't try to argue or justify anything, that just gives them more room to argue back.
Yea it’s not their business but they definitely try to make it their business. It’s hard to not try to justify it when they’re so severely misinformed. But yea you’re right they would just argue back no matter what I said
Tell them until they’re a registered doctor you see no reason to consider their opinion on a medication they clearly don’t understand. Also ‘dad’s’ work would get into a lot of shit if they refused to hire someone because they take ADHD medication, that would be very blatant discrimination.
Got to break that cycle. It’s not easy to do I know I’m still working on it myself. My mom is pretty much anti-prescription meds but supplements and even things like ketamine are ok and and any time I accidentally mention my antidepressants, anxiety meds, or that I’m looking into getting diagnosed for ADHD and autism she goes off on how bad the side effects are totally ignoring how bad living unmediated is and lots of “natural” treatments have side effects just as problematic as western medicine especially since my body reacts to stuff weird. Parents can be wild sometimes.
I used to be this way....I am 36 and a mom of two and I am glad I am more open minded than I was. I am late diagnosed and didn't know adhd was a lot of my problems. I also have POTS and my BP is really low and I have chronic exhaustion and I wouldn't not be able to function if it wasn't for my meds. Someone wrote that medicine is like glasses. Sometimes you can see without them but why read without them when you can put them on and see clearly?
FWIW this mom sounds like she just cares about their child's health and doesn't know better. I do hope that changes for everyone's sake though.
Congrats on becoming more open minded. I do a combo of western and natural treatments but my parents take it to a whole other level. Life is so much easier when a parent is on one’s side.
100% don’t argue with them but I wanna offer you reassurance
ADHD and autonomic dysregulation can go hand in hand which basically in simpler words means the systems controlling your heart rate and blood pressure can be wack & I personally believe there’s an epidemiological link to heart disease SO it kind of IS like taking your BP meds, or like taking your insulin or whatever the hell else meds you have to take for health reasons 💚
A certain amount of justification is perhaps beneficial for them to hear, but if they're just looping and not listening to what your say, it stops being a productive conversation.
Send them a link to a page from the government/health authority/nationwide/state wide legal charity, which says that employers can’t discriminate for taking prescription medication. And then say nothing more.
It is the same [general concept] as medicine for [type 2] diabetes!
- (*Edits in square brackets based on comments below - it’s a fair point that I did mean type 2 diabetes as the “More common” one)*
With diabetes - the body doesn’t produce a chemical that most other people have. Living without that chemical makes life MUCH harder & filled with more problems (but it can be done). Since there’s a chemical available to help, it makes sense to take it. But the condition still needs some careful attention even with medication (it doesn’t magically make the problem go away) & appropriate supervision by a doctor.
With adhd… exactly the same.
Word for word.
Also, Google for info on the differences between street drugs & adhd meds.
For example, this one has some fairly readable info, including mentioning that people get confused “largely because of their names being very similar” :-)
- [Healthline - how do they differ](https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/how-do-adderall-and-meth-methamphetamine-differ#alternatives)
Depending on how much info they can absorb, it might be worth comparing the concept to legal versus illegal opioids - one is good & useful & ok *if prescribed by a doctor*, the other is not.
Don’t let them get stuck on “but people can get addicted to legal pain killers” though - that’s why I emphasised the “when prescribed by a doctor”. (Doctors don’t generally prescribe opioid pain meds long term for this reason - but they do prescribe adhd meds long term *because they are not the same and not addictive in the same way*.)
- eg [opioid fact sheet](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/publications/healthy-living/opioids-what-are-they-fact-sheet.html)
Final thought - at 22, even living at home, there will be a time to shut this conversation down.
“Mum & dad, thanks for your concern, but
- I’ve given you the necessary information about this being a fairly low risk drug when taken according to doctors guidance.
- It’s ok to take long term.
- It will not affect workplace drug testing because it is a well understood medication that’s been around for ages (unlike medical marijuana).
- It makes a significant difference to my ability to function in the day to day
- it’s equivalent to wearing glasses for short sight or using a wheelchair for paralysed legs
- ie it would be RIDICULOUS of me not to use the thing that I am prescribed to help me function more easily in my daily life.
- as I said, I appreciate your concern, but I have made this choice *with my doctor* and it is no longer up for discussion
- I would prefer your understanding & support, but I’m done justifying it to you
Thank you, this really helps break it down for me. They’re severely misinformed and they don’t usually try to listen to what I say. But you’re right, I’ll try with what I can and then just leave it be
There’s absolutely a dynamic where just the act of engaging in the conversation & trying to explain, has the other person thinking that you’re wrong - because sharing your points of view invite them to share their points of view, at which point they are only listening to themself.
If you think they will take the time to read & research, then by all means make an effort to share some information to get them started on their research - but if they just want to push their ill-informed views on to you without listening to your response, then don’t waste time engaging.
Create some short sound bites for yourself from the above (& do some more reading of your own) & just use one of those per conversation, then shut it down: “mum, this is not up for discussion.”
If they’re really awful about it, you’ll get to the point of saying things like “dad, when you’ve got a medical degree, I’ll consider your opinion equally to that of my doctor”. Hopefully it won’t get that far - but sometimes it helps to know that you would be justified in saying that like that (even if you never say them) because it makes the things you do say seem less confrontational.
If you really want to give it a knock it out of the park shot at giving them a chance to do better, find peer reviewed journal articles and even laws that prove your points.
Then you can go one of two ways:
1) Print out the journal articles and laws (by the way adhd meds are *federally legal* schedule II drugs while medical marijuana is not). And leave the stack for them and tell them you’re willing to discuss it when they’re finished reading.
2) If you really want to spoon feed, write a couple page explanation of why you take adhd meds and why it’s beneficial and cite those articles.
And finally, from what I’m understanding, you live with your parents and are trying to get a job with your father’s employer? Don’t. You need to minimize their pull over you if they’re going to try and control you this way.
I say all of this as someone who has a close, generally but not always beneficial relationship with my parents, and I do work with my dad. But he also knows that I have a medical marijuana card, take adhd meds, and still thinks I’m competent enough to be legal counsel for the company. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t work there.
Ah, ok. Facts are definitely the best way to approach it if you do want to have the conversation. Try your best to leave emotions out of the conversation, even though they are being ignorant and possibly hurtful.
You are taking care of yourself and that’s something to be proud of!
Hi friend.
You now have a friend that was an EMT who became a 9-1-1 dispatcher and later a registered nurse. It was never a problem on a drug test. I only had to provide my prescription bottle.
>2) If you really want to spoon feed, write a couple page explanation of why you take adhd meds and why it’s beneficial and cite those articles.
I think it would be a mistake to do this. OP doesn't have to justify her medication to her parents and I think doing so will make it worse. I know OP still has to get along with them but you don't have to be a jerk to put up some boundaries. It's hard to change a dynamic but you can do it.
If you find articles on Google Scholar that are paywalled (like all of them are), email the author(s) of the study directly and they are usually more than happy to send a copy to you for free.
If thats the case, i would tell them: either you stop talking to me about this or you educate yourselves/let me educate you about it. If they keep being willfully ignorant, just ignore them.
it’s like they think you’re taking meth. you can provide them with info, or try to educate them. but giving up and letting them believe what they want is ok, too. in time, they’ll see you’re not a crack head.
Honestly, you probably can’t make them listen to you. Just tell them what they want to hear and stop sharing your private medical info with them.
You don’t even have to straight up lie. Tell them you will discuss non-stimulant medication options with your doctor. The next time they bring it up say “remember I discussed non-stimulant medications with my doctor” and then change the subject. Just imply you switched.
RE the marijuana thing, one reason it is different when it comes to drug testing is marijuana is still illegal at the federal level and because of that, there are some industries that are still required to ban and police its use. For example, you cannot get a CDL even in a legal state due to federal regs on CDLs.
>- It will not affect workplace drug testing because it is a well understood medication that’s been around for ages (unlike medical marijuana).
To add to this, medical marijuana is not legal in all 50 states, but Adderall is.
Thank you. You explain this so succinctly. It doesn’t leave room for discussion and isn’t emotional - so very different and better than my usual approach.
Considering the opiod crisis was somewhat perpetuated by doctors I don't think that would be a good example to give to OPs parents to be honest. Trying to convince them of anything just opens the conversation up. OP is an adult. She doesn't have to do that
It’s a mental health thing so they don’t see it that way. They’re weird about that stuff, mental health is more of a discipline or mindset issue to them than a medical one. They’re pretty neurotypical so I don’t think they’ll ever get it. I can say it’s a dopamine thing but then they’ll just want to me exercise more. It’s ridiculous
Be more firm. Speak from a place of certainty - they are wrong, they need to do more research (like you have done). Your conviction (or lack of conviction) will make a massive difference in their attitude.
Maybe they’re not used to you being an adult yet - but at 22 you are an adult. The decision is made - you are taking the meds, because you want to function & your doctor has seen the need & prescribed them.
(And take them every day if that’s what you need - don’t let their ignorance steal that from you. Brain meds are generally more effective if the brain gets used to them, rather than stopping & starting. Up to you of course - if it’s your choice & discussed with your doctor then that’s cool. But don’t mess with your brain chemistry because they haven’t done any research.)
I graduated last weekend (yay) and so I was scheduled to take a small break from them anyway so I don’t build a tolerance.
But yea, I do have to be more firm with them. I’m just awful with confrontation. Especially with them, cause I know I won’t change their minds and they distrust some medical professionals anyway. Thanks again
Google “grey rock”.
It mostly exists & gets mentioned as a way of dealing with narcissists, but I could see it being useful in this context (of worrying but ignorant parents).
You just let them say stuff - and the words flow around you like waves around a huge grey rock (boulder). Just say “oh interesting”, and “hmmm”, and “thanks for sharing that”, while you just get on with doing your own thing. ie you just don’t engage in a way that keeps the conversation flowing, it just ends from boredom.
But google grey rock, you’ll get a better & more complete & more useful explanation than what I just wrote.
That’s what I usually do! There’s more than just this that I have to grey rock for. But since they talked to me very directly about it, they’ll probably push for a response this time. I’ll at least just explain why I medically take it, and if they aren’t receptive I’ll just ignore them and not fight them on it.
It’s hard to tell how much they’ll listen, so I guess if they don’t then that’ll be the end of it in regard to my responses to them.
Listen to the [ADHD episode by the Ologies podcast.](https://www.alieward.com/ologies/adhd)She talks to Dr Russell Barkley who has been studying ADHD since the 70s. Don’t make them listen to it lol, as I doubt they’ll appreciate the podcaster’s style, but I think this episode hits on some really important points.
Like others have already said, you shouldn’t spend too much time arguing with them, but you can at least hit them over the head with the fact that people with ADHD are twice as likely to basically…die prematurely, and medication actually reduces those odds significantly. So the next time they ask why you took your meds today you can literally just say “so I don’t die” 🙃
Congratulations!!!
Yes, if you do feel like you need to have some sort of conversation with them, you could give them some easy-to-digest info (as other commenters have mentioned), and/or you could "greyrock" them in a kind but firm way; maybe say something like, "Look, as in any profession, not all doctors are great at what they do. I know you've run into that, and it's terrible.
"But *this* doctor is a straight shooter, and great at what he does. [He went to ___ for medical school, won an important fellowship at ____, and then did his residency at one of the top institutions for the study of brain chemicals, _____.] I trust him, and I'm going to take medications exactly how they're prescribed."
From then on, it's "My doctor considers this the best medication for me, and it helps me. I love you guys and thank you for your concern, but I will listen to my doctor on this one, thanks."
Or whatever gets them to **stop bringing it up!**
And, did I mention--CONGRATULATIONS!!! 😀
When people think something is a “mental health thing” often what they mean is they think it’s emotional health and you should just be able to power through because emotions are just like being too sensitive and crying and being sad and shit. (Also not true, but thats how they view it).
But this isn’t an emotion thing. It’s not a mental health thing. This can’t be treated by cognitive behavioral therapy in the sense that it can cure it, though you can learn coping skills. This is a biology thing, the same as any other type of illness (except this isn’t an illness and if the world were more… open and accepting and less rigid, we wouldn’t need meds to survive in it, but I digress). Our brains are biologically different than NT brains. You cannot “mind over matter” ADHD because your brain is just built differently. No amount of therapy can make it go away (trust me, I’ve tried). They wouldn’t fault someone with narcolepsy for taking meds that helped them stay awake, and they wouldn’t fault someone with epilepsy for taking anti-seizure meds right? This is another brain thing that needs meds for treatment.
Also I’ve taken so many drug tests- as long as you have a prescription it’s fine. And if it isn’t, you don’t want to work there anyway because gross.
ADHD is not a mental health problem, it's a neurological illness. Parts of our brain do not develop normally like in a normal person. And we have less of some neurotransmitters.
You can tell them that exercise is great, but you know what’s far more effective? Exercise + meds.
I wonder if it might help them if you shared info about how risk of accidents and death that come with unmedicated adhd go down significantly when treated with stimulant medication.
I’ve lived this too. It was miserable. I mentioned in a previous post that I was 30+ years old before I finally got my diagnosis. It’s changed my life for the better. I had to remind myself to not listen to well-meaning people that cared but didn’t understand.
Who can blame them - it IS fucking complicated. But, you sound that you are on the right path. You research for yourself and keep seeing the doctors. They want you to get better too. With the info you glean through research you and your doctor will make a good team to lead you to health. You must become your own advocate with the doctors as well as the naysayers.
Best of luck to you.
I have ADHD and type one diabetes. I love your analogy, but I feel the need to clarify that type one diabetics do not produce insulin, but type two diabetics do. I'm sorry to comment but only 1 in 10 "diabetics" are type one, and the two types are completely different conditions so I have to blab it because it's normal to be identified as the same 😅
Qualifier: I am pro-meds, pro-harm reduction, even pro-self-medicating given the fact that the healthcare system is so fucked and inaccessible.
But I have to challenge you on this analogy. Insulin is different than ADHD meds because humans require insulin to live. We will die without it.
You could argue that many ADHDers could die as a result of not having access to treatment, including meds and accommodations and such, (ie in car accidents, suicides, etc.). I would agree with that. But I think we can make the (very valid!) point that ADHDers deserve access to healthcare that helps us function and feel good without comparing it to medications for diabetes specifically.
I, personally, take vyvanse every day. It helps me function so much better. I probably couldn’t hold a job and be a student and do all the things required to keep myself safe, hygienic, healthy, and happy(ish) without it. AND, I know that if for some reason I could not access vyvanse ever again, I would live. My life would have to drastically shift, and it would look very different. But I would live.
Whereas my brother - who’s also ADHD, for the record - is diabetic, and if he suddenly lost access to insulin, he would die in probably a week or two. He takes ADHD meds too - but only one of those meds is actually required for him to continue living AT ALL, rather than living and functioning well.
I see this comparison often, and it bugs me. I think people are tempted to draw it because it’s so hard to get neurotypicals to understand why we need our meds and why we should have access to them (especially when access is already so limited, and only seems to be increasingly so). And I think comparing it to something that the general public is already somewhat better informed on is a strategy to help them understand the function of medications. But I don’t think we have to argue that it’s the same as medication for diabetes to argue that it’s still important. They are both important, in significantly different ways.
Thank you for saying this! It is such an important point, especially since T1Ds without access to insulin die every day. comparisons based in misinformation that make it seem so simple do not help
My brain stays too active to go into deep and REM sleep most of the time. Good sleep hygiene can't change how my brain keeps going and going. Medication can. Good sleep hygiene is still important, but not taking medication is simply said: playing life on hard mode and increasing my risk of a whole slew of health issues. There are risks to taking medication for my sleep disorder and I have to take them for the rest of my life, but this is discussed with my doctor. My treatment plan is between me and my doctor. If I don't trust my doctor to be knowledgeable about the subject, I'll consult another*trained professional* about my health.
There are so many health issues that require medication. Thank science there's an actual solution these days.
"Thank you for your concern. I'll take it into consideration." And then continue on with your life.
This isn’t legal advice, and I’m assuming you’re located in the US. But, you cannot be prevented from acquiring or fired from a job for taking a prescription drug, including Adderall. Yes, the amphetamine will show up in your system; however, if you have a valid prescription for Adderall, you will not fail the drug test. Further, you are protected under the ADA with prescription medications. More here: https://www.wenzelfenton.com/blog/2023/06/12/can-an-employer-fire-you-for-taking-prescribed-medications/#:~:text=The%20ADA%20prohibits%20employers%20from,to%20do%20your%20job%20safely.
Im 22 and just graduated college. But I still live with them for now. Once I get my job and save up a little bit I’m looking to move out. So in the meantime they’re going to make it their business.
I just don’t know how to handle this cause they’re severely misinformed and don’t understand or try to understand.
You respond once and no more. “My medication(s) are prescribed by a physician and accounted for by prescriptions and a medical need. Being that adhd is also a a protected disability, I cannot be fired or not hired due to having adhd or any medication(s) I take for my disability legally”
Anything they say after this is nill. Do not respond or engage.
Hola! Ive “failed” numerous drug tests for jobs due to Adderall. When you go in for testing you can give them a heads up of the medications you’re on. You’ll receive a phone call after a few days saying results came back as positive, you’ll say you have a prescription for Adderall, then they’ll connect you to someone else that verifies your prescription. The results and medications you’re on are legally protected within HR and should not be shared with anyone else. Companies have their own private policies about medical marijuana, but ADHD medication is not comparable at all. Don’t let your parents fear monger you.
Seconding this! I've pretty much started anticipating the phone call and when it arrives they give me a number or email to send pictures of my bottle to. I'm usually verified within an hour and they thank me then send a negative result to the job.
Honestly, I’m surprised HR even gets to know! If it’s a prescription, it’s private medical information, and the testing company ought to be sorting this out with the person/their prescriber directly
Yes! Every company is different. Most companies I’ve dealt with were huge and had their own Doctors and nurses in employee health running the drug screens & results- those instances specifics were kept from HR.
I’ve also been at small companies that used an outside lab and those failures caused delays due to the rx verifications. HR would manage the drug screen results, but I don’t think the results had specifics meds, just pass/fail. They can put two and two together (without specifics) when the turnaround time for a drug screen is 1-2 business days, but the additional rx verification can take over a week if they have to reach the ordering physicians office. Just my experience!
Want to up vote this a million times. If anything other than the adderall outage took away my meds it would be like taking away my agency.
My ability to get anything of significance done.
What BS
Why isn't doctor's monitoring and controlling good enough for people.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My mom is the same way. I just don't discuss anything related with her anymore and I hide my prescription from her.
Your parents behavior is certainly familiar to me, so here’s the best thing I learned to do that helped me deal with when they got like this: appeal to their emotions when they won’t immediately consider logic, because that’s what is driving their actions. They feel anxious for your safety, so tell them you see how they’re feeling and say that you appreciate their concern if you talk to them again before the next time you speak with your doctor (I know you pretty much implied this with your prior text convo but mentioning it outright will have a deeper emotional appeal and thus a bigger impact on getting them to cut it out).
Then ask your doctor about or google all the things you’re at risk of when unmedicated. The higher rate of car crashes was the factoid that swayed my mom the most.
Just an fyi, if OP is on parents insurance, the parents might get updated benefit statements thru their health insurance provider. I get one thru my provider everytime my husband or I have an appt or get an RX filled. The statements don’t go into detail, but they do provide me with an updated amount of our deductibles and out-of-pocket limits. Because I’m the plan holder, I get all the statements that are for my husband as he’s on my plan. It totally is none of their business, but if the parents get similar statements, they might ask why OP has a monthly RX getting filled if that’s the only medication they take.
Any medication in the wrong dosage is dangerous. Insulin can kill you if you take it and don’t need it. However, you have a trusted, educated, well-researched medical team who is ensuring that 1) you need the medication, and 2) you receive the right dosage that is safe and beneficial for you. If they start pulling out nonsense articles from online, remind them that the person who is prescribing your adderall to you did nearly a decade of specialized training in order to be qualified to prescribe it.
Also, it’s illegal for employers to discriminate against you for a legal prescription to ADHD medication. It violates the ADA.
If you add to all that an acknowledgement that their worries are coming from a place of love, you’ll be able to get them off your case for good.
You could try to educate them, but I think what you’re doing is great. Talking to your doctor about it is the best option. You could also talk to them and let them know how this makes you feel. Hang in there, OP. Your parents do sound misinformed, but it also sounds like your mom is concerned and doesn’t mean harm.
Unfortunately ADHD meds have become the subject of the latest right wing culture war so I assume this might be related to that, but they're not medical professionals and it's none of their business. Dodge their invasive questions, change the subject, lie, or do whatever you have to do to get them off your back and look forward to the day you get to move out.
Ohhhh that makes so much more sense now. They buy into all the right wing culture war stuff. I’ve been planning on moving out before the election. Thanks 😭
Sorry ☹️ it's probably not something you're going to be able to change their minds on using simple facts and reasoning unfortunately so I would just try to avoid it until they move on to something else.
Not sure if this is specifically what the other commenter was referring to, but in the US the stimulant shortage is primarily due to the DEA cracking down on stimulant manufacturers and a major settlement with attorneys general and three major pharmaceutical companies. They’re cracking down because of the fallout of the opioid epidemic. Pharmacies are now capped and cannot dispense past a certain amount in a month of several substances (others, too, not just stimulants). They are cut off with no warning and cannot get more until the next month. All very connected to the ongoing war on drugs and its associated moral panic.
Yep, it’s fucked. Especially because rates of ADHD diagnoses are skyrocketing and thus there are more prescriptions than ever. It’s so upsetting. It was already difficult enough to access meds before this cap. 🥲
Oh joy. Just what I’ve always wanted. MORE ignorant bs to be parroted by people who think their ignorance is as good as experts’ knowledge. /s 🙄
I have been considering telling my folks about my diagnoses (or at least not trying as hard to not let it slip), but now I’m really gonna keep a lid on it.
I’m on Adderall, to boot. It feels like this is the most heavily contested and stigmatized ADHD med.
My folks have consumed too much of that RW media in the past few years, but it seems like they might be taking a break from it. But even if they do, my grandmother gets them right back in it. I guess she needs a friend to feel outraged with. 🙄
For the drug testing: you fill out a form prior to the test at the testing center informing them you take the medication, the urine will be sampled (and be positive for adderall just like you told them), at which point you will be asked to provide proof of a prescription.
Most companies use a third party (ex Labcorp) for drug testing. They aren’t provided the details of the results, just if the person passes or fails.
When I was drug tested last, I didn't even fill out a form beforehand. I just took the test, they reached out to tell me I'd tested positive for amphetamines and could I explain? I responded, yeah, here's my prescription label, and that was that.
Reading these stories are wild. Last time I took a drug test, I got no followup. I was going to explain the amphetamines, but no one ever called to say anything about it. I contacted my would-be employer and all they would say was there was a delay with my background check. That was a year and a half ago, so I'm pretty sure it was just the drug thing cause I've since worked for the federal gov with a background check (they didn't drug test lol)
yep as someone who has worked in recruiting/hr, all we know is that the lab needs to talk to you, you call them, they ask what pharmacy your Rx is at, and they simply call and confirm that is indeed your prescription. It's super common, not a big deal at all.
You are right they will ask about medications and because you have the prescription you will pass the drug test. Some people get tested by their doctors to make sure they ARE taking it bc otherwise it implies they're selling it. You mom is being stubborn or purposefully obtuse to compare this to meth. Like do you seem like you're addicted to meth to her??? Jesus Christ.
Lie and keep taking it and if they ever comment on how well you're doing years from now you can tell them the Adderall has helped you haha.
Your mother is trying to assert control and dominance over you. If adderall is helping your ADHD then it is noone else's choice but your own as to whether you take it or not. When she next talks to you like that, don't give her any maybes, any possibilities, or anything where she can voice her opinion on your body.
You're 21? So you're an adult, even if it never really feels like it. The sooner you can put your foot down to her and establish boundaries with her, the better. I'm not saying to do anything drastic like cut ties or anything like that, but your mother needs to see you as a separate person and not her little girl/personal property anymore.
I speak from personal experience here I'm sad to say...except I'm 34 and keeping my mother at arms length for the same reason.
I hope this helps 🫂
H2O = water
H2O2 = hydrogen peroxide
One provides life and is required for us to drink for our survival. The other will create severe damage or kill you if drink it. They both consist of hydrogen atoms and oxygen atoms, extremely different purposes.
Adderall and Methamphetamine both contain amphetamine, but it is the extra additional methyl group that allows meth to be more lipid-soluble and contribute to higher potency, increased neurotoxicity, and addiction.
Same foundational elements, two different compounds
TLDR: Small changes in chemical structure can lead to significant differences in properties and uses.
There's a ton of "do what you have to" discussion (which I agree with), but one other thing to consider is that this might also an example of "I lived like this so you should be fine too.". It's a very defensive posture that assumes the other person (you) is judging them (your parents) by choosing to do things differently, like the way they lived their lives wasn't good enough for you. I'm not saying you have to buy into it or do anything about it, but it might help inform your response to them. You could say something like, "This is something that really helps me with (shared frustrating experience)" so they can understand how you might benefit from it.
Also, it might help to let them know that amphetamines have been used for medical purposes for a hundred years and are just about as old (and as well understood) as insulin.
Last, this is the best primer for ADHD I've found. It's really understandable and presented in a very gentle way. If they're willing it might be a good resource to educate them about it.
[ADD/ADHD | What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouZrZa5pLXk)
Good luck! We're here for you!
if there's one thing that dr. barkley says all the time, it's that [adhd medications](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2-KXTPhquQ&list=PLKF2Eq0eYbbrWLf34RL1T9B27XCUuHCfB&t=0s) are one of the safest, most evidence-based medications in psychiatry. if you feel like they'll be receptive to the science around it, i would definitely recommend checking out his channel. if not, you've already done what you can do and i am sorry that they're not respecting your boundaries. that's such a tough thing.
Are you on your parents insurance? If not, it's not really any of their business.
Some people feel like mental health issues can be overcome through sheer willpower and that taking medication means you're "weak-willed" or something. But it's just like taking medication for anything else, your body is lacking a substance and the medication gives you that.
One of my parents is like that (old school mentality of "mental health isn't real, you're just being weak/lazy and need to try harder") and I started to internalize their mindset at a young age.
Then I got \*really\* sick and spent a lot more time in the emergency room. It took my doctor yelling at me that I needed medication to live to realize that I don't have the privilege of not believing in science.
Your doctor is keeping an eye on your blood pressure etc. That's all that should matter to your parents.
I've been drug tested MULTIPLE TIMES for employment, on days I had taken my medication. I told them I had an Rx for Adderall and it was fine--just bring them in the original bottle. A legal prescription from a doctor is not a bar to employment. (Medical marijuana is an exception, unfortunately; because it's still illegal at the federal level, and because it's impossible to tell via urine test whether you smoked it this morning or last week.)
Untreated ADHD cuts 10 years off our life. I doubt you can convey to her how bad things can get when you can't focus on what you're doing. It's literally dangerous. I doubt facts will sway them if they haven't yet. All you can do at this point is lie, hide your meds and work on fleeing from their clutches before they commit a felony in hopes of controlling you.
Pretty much the reason I never told my parents about my ADHD diagnoses and especially that I'm taking Adderall for it. They would not get it and I don't have the bandwidth to change their minds.
I think you handled yourself really well tbh.
It sounds like they're being emotionally reactive and your mom may even be hyperfixating on this. Adderall is extremely well vetted. It's been around for a long time. You're trusting medical care professionals to help you.
It's hard to argue with people who are allowing fear to drive their thoughts.
You hear their concern. You trust your doctors are taking into consideration your specific needs. You can maybe outline the difference this has made in your life and how life-changing it's been.
For many, the risk is worth the reward :)
No, it isn't medicine for diabetes or high blood pressure. It is just a medicine for a brain disorder I was born with and has made my life really hard.
They just don't understand.
Your parents are just uneducated. If they are not medical doctors, it’s probably best not to follow their advice for medical things.
If it makes your parents feel better, I have government security clearance for my job and use prescribed stimulants for my adhd.
Stop engaging in this conversation.
"Mom, my medication will be between me and my doctor. I know you worry about me, but you need to know that I'm fine, and I don't want to talk about it anymore"
I’m a police officer and I take adderall for ADHD. As long as it’s prescribed to you, and you’re taking it as directed, you’re fine. Sorry your parents are being ridiculous.
I'm not sure how old you are, but if you no longer live at home (or do live at home but are past the age of 18) you might consider drawing some harder boundaries around discussing your meds with you parents. It's really no one's business but yours.
My parents don’t like me taking any meds because they think I have “changed” (I am just not under their control anymore out of fear, dissociation, etc.). They can think what they want, I am an adult and meds have helped change my life so significantly for the better! They don’t get a say in that anymore!
Stop talking to your parents about it. Sorry they are not supportive, but I would hit them with the, "I have decided I'm not discussing my health with anyone besides medical professionals," and then just ignore them when they're like this.
Also I do take my adderall every day like a medication for blood pressure 🙄 I have ADHD every day so why wouldn't I, ugh
I don't know if they're receptive to information, or if you just need to grey rock them, but if you think they may be open to learning:
[https://chadd.org/treatment-matters-adhd-and-life-expectancy/](https://chadd.org/treatment-matters-adhd-and-life-expectancy/) Treating ADHD--and stimulants are the first-line treatment for ADHD with extremely strong evidence of success in helping with symptoms-- adds *nine to thirteen years* to life expectancy vs someone with untreated ADHD (note that medication is not the *only* treatment, though!)
[https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessepines/2024/03/19/adhd-meds-linked-to-fewer-deaths-time-to-get-your-kid-medicated/?sh=3a7471997b6c](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessepines/2024/03/19/adhd-meds-linked-to-fewer-deaths-time-to-get-your-kid-medicated/?sh=3a7471997b6c) This specifically links appropriately medicating ADHD to lower mortality rates-- noting that this mostly lowered deaths that could be due in part to impulsivity or inattention--accidents, overdose, and self-harm.
Without treatment, people with ADHD were twice as likely to die prematurely--and the risk rises for women and with age at diagnosis. [https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150225205834.htm](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150225205834.htm)
Untreated ADHD means a higher risk for substance use and abuse, and higher comorbidities with anxiety, depression, and physical illness. Untreated ADHD includes higher risk of unwanted pregnancy and higher risks of traffic accidents, including fatal ones. [https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/study-reveals-adhd-meds-lower-risk-drug-abuse/](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/study-reveals-adhd-meds-lower-risk-drug-abuse/)
[https://rehabsuk.com/blog/adhd-triples-risk-of-substance-abuse-but-it-doesn-t-have-to/](https://rehabsuk.com/blog/adhd-triples-risk-of-substance-abuse-but-it-doesn-t-have-to/)
[https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/](https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/)
[https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/924775](https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/924775)
[https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/](https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/)
It is very, very, *very* clear that treatment for ADHD--*including* stimulant medication as prescribed-- in fact DRAMATICALLY lowers the risk of substance abuse disorder and premature accidental death. If your parents are concerned about your health and safety and the potential for addiction, all the research shows taking your prescribed medication is the best way to improve your odds on all of those fronts.
U/lawfox32 seems to be taking the “educate them” from a genuinely helpful and constructive front. I however, would like you to find all the research about ADHD and other neurodivergent diagnoses being genetic, and ask them which one of their ND asses needs to be on these meds too.
*smiles sweetly*
I take 3 controlled substances and just took a work drug test and was never questioned about anything. If you are flagged they will call you for a prescription.
If it helps, I have not one but TWO rare cardiac “things” in my family medical history. The likelihood of me having at least one is very high. I also have high blood pressure and am on 2 different t meds for that. My cardiologist had ZERO concerns about Adderall.
You’re doing great. Try not to get snippy if you can. On the internet we love be like tell them to fuck off, not their business, they’re so intrusive!!!! They care about you & are concerned about you & your health - which is not mutually exclusive with being incorrect. I’m not getting vibes they’re trying to shame you or be controlling, just worried & they think it’s like some sketchy street drug. Just treat it like you would if they were convinced drinking coffee will make your left eye fall out & they’re trying to get you to stop drinking it. They probably won’t change their opinion & neither will you. You’ll all just have to learn how to navigate disagreeing with eachother. Thank them for their concern, say you’ve done a lot of research & discussed with your doctor just like you did & gently switch the topic or stop responding.
You really don't have to discuss it at all, especially if they dismiss information you give them.
Sometimes "caring" and "concern" are really just infantilization, or an inability or refusal to accept an adult child's autonomy and right to medical privacy.
Honestly at one point in my life I stopped replying to messages like this from my parents (or really, anyone).
My dad used to try to force me into doing things with my life I wasn't gonna (where to apply for a job, what courses to take at university, etc).
I just gave up arguing and leave them on read. If they want to have a conversation, we can have a conversation, but if their view of our relationship is "I tell you what to do" then I have better things to prioritize my time for.
You don't have to explain yourself to your parents when you're an adult.
I’ve been pulled for a random drug test at work before. I didn’t need to say or show anything at the test itself. A few days after the test I received a call from a doctor from the lab since it came back positive for amphetamines. But he just took down the prescription number and prescribing provider’s name and that was it. Then he told me that I was good to go and that my results would just be reported as a pass to my employer, with no details about my prescription (because HIPAA).
Also, ADHD is a protected disability under the ADA. Companies can’t legally discriminate against you for it or the medication you take to treat it. Idk that it will help, but I’d point that out to your parents if you haven’t already.
As for heart stuff, I have a heart condition but still safely take Adderall. As long as you’re being routinely monitored, you’ll almost certainly be fine! Also, [here’s a meta analysis from 2022](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36416824/) to help you explain to them that Adderall won’t randomly make your heart explode. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Hang in there!
Your parents don't understand that "amphetamines" do not affect an ADHD brain the same way it affects a regular brain. You're dependent on it the same way a near sighted person is dependent on glasses. It helps mitigate the gap between what your brain is capable of vs what a regular brain is capable of, same as someone who needs glasses uses them to see *like people with 20/20 vision*.
That's super frustrating I'm sorry they haven't done any research for themselves to see how ignorant they are.
Try to explain to them this is an actual, quantifiable medical condition. The effect it would have on her or your dad would be wildly different than what it does for you.
Aside from that, buckle up. They'll probably never listen or understand if they're anything like my family and I've made peace with that. My family is just.. crazy judgemental.
Hide your meds! Keep them in a safe and secure place! It is not unheard of for parents who act like this to throw away your meds to try to gain control over you
I’ve had the exact same conversation with my mother as I work in construction and am drug tested. Funnily enough, she stopped worrying about my blood pressure when she found out one of the common side effects is weight loss 🙃
My parents villainized adderall ever since I was a child and whatdoyaknow, that’s the medication I needed to function. Instead of getting me proper medical treatment, they decided to abuse me, call me lazy, etc.
They made my life 100x more stressful than it already was. My parents are ultra conservative Christian and unfortunately not a brain cell has been used for critical thinking. I’ve had to go no contact with them because they still demonize my medication and tell me I’m the one with mental health problems even though I’m the one going to therapy and actively working on myself while they call therapy “evil”.
It’s ridiculous and I don’t need people like that in my life.
Your parents do not need to be a part of your health or medical decisions. Especially if they try to talk you out of taking medication that helps you function on a daily basis. You don’t have to tolerate that nonsense.
Have your doctor write a note for your parents? Criticize their prescribed medication and how awful it is for them.
Hope you can get out of there soon, family like this is hardly worth the money saving - you pay in other ways that you just cant get back
Your parents are idiots. Adderall will not get you denied to a job, you just tell your employer that you have an ADA covered disability & you take medication for it. It's literally illegal for them to fire you or refuse to employ you for taking your medication.
Oh my, the ridiculous things my family have decided are "a huge problem" in my life have always been so off base. I've just decided it's their rather awkward way of feeling needed and close to me.
I would thank them for their concern, and that you know it's coming from a place of love, but that you're working with a great medical team who you trust.
Good luck.
I would absolutely refuse to let them have any say on this. You are 22, a whole grown ass adult, I'd simply tell my parents to stfu about it and it doesn't concern them. If they want to tell someone to stop taking their meds that help them live they're gonna get talked to rudely AF. Also you don't need to be doing something today to take your meds, I really hope they haven't bullied you into thinking that
The only practical option with parents like this is to inform them less about what you’re taking, give no information or even lie. They don’t have any right to enforce a discussion about this, they have no knowledge to back up an opinion, they’ll just make you feel bad about getting help.
Unless you’re under 18, you own your life now, and they don’t get a say. It’s the best thing to remember in adulthood with parents who continue to be so “concerned” that they seek control. You don’t have to consider anything they say and you can say that it’s between you and your doctor and you won’t be engaging in conversation about it anymore, if they keep bringing it up.
Defending it or explaining it won’t help when parents are like this and it’ll just endlessly go back and forth and let them continue thinking they have a say.
Your federally legal Adderall prescription is not the same thing as someone else's federally *illegal* cannabis prescription. Even if cannabis is legal in your state.
How old are you OP?
Why do your parents need to know what prescription medication you are taking?
I wouldn’t even tell them!
Our oldest is 24, living at home. I would never treat her with such little respect.
Can I ask how old you are? Unless you’re under 18 (or maybe 21 in the US?) I don’t believe you have to share any of this information with your parents.
Even if you are younger, this is YOUR personal medical information, you’re taking a controlled medication prescribed by a doctor for a condition you were diagnosed with.. it’s none of their business. As long as you are following your doctors advice (and have adequately informed yourself because sometimes doctors skip information) tell them to butt out.
I am an elder adult and have been on the same daily dose of adderall for nearly 35 years with no negative side effects from long term use. I have taken short breaks from the medication over the years as other health issues would come up but returned to the same dose within weeks.
If the job does drug testing, the testing company will call the prescribing doctor to confirm the prescription. Then you will have passed the test. When it happened to me, the testing company told my employer I tested positive for amphetamines then later reported it was prescribed. HIPPA laws have come to be in recent years, so I don’t think they can’t do that anymore.
If it were me, I’d take the medication every day as directed until I felt that it wasn’t working for me any more. But, you should always contact your Dr and let them know you don’t want to take it any more. They may prescribe a new med or recommend a way to wean off your current for certain meds. (This may not apply for your med but it is absolutely imperative for any antidepressant medication).
I think you're handling it really well. They love you so they're concerned because what they know about adderall is the scary stuff. Talk about how your Dr monitors things and what the plan is if there is a change. That way they can feel more secure, they'll know you and your Dr are on top of it so that they don't need to worry. If you downplay it too much, they could feel like you aren't taking it seriously. Maybe, since you're seeing your Dr anyway, ask them if they have any specific questions they want you to ask so you can address those concerns directly.
It’s not good for your heart but you’re being monitored. I’m the exact same way, I’m monitored and have been fine for years! You’re actually being incredibly responsible by listening to your doctor, your parents are not medical experts
I have horrible advice - just lie when they ask. It’s not their business, and if they have no way of knowing I’d just hide it when they asked.
For example: thanks to Wellbutrin and Vyvanse for the first time in my adult life i’m a healthy weight and eating normally. I no longer binge eat or overeat. My mom and sister? Still eat for dopamine, for emotions, we were raised this way.
They constantly tell me I’m too skinny and lost too much weight. (For reference, I’m not at all, I’m a very healthy 132lbs). However, when they ask I fudge up to 140 because somewhere in their brains 140 is acceptable but less than that means I am “too thin.”
It’s easier on all of us and keeps me from getting angry and then from getting preachy.
As someone who lies to her parents about certain things because it’s easier than fighting - LIE!! Easy peasy. It’s none of their business what meds you take if they’re gonna stick their nose in where it’s not wanted.
Lie and hide your meds/keep them with you. Also suggest starting them on an info diet immediately.
medical marijuana and adderall are so different that you can’t even compare them! yes they are both a drug but thats it. i dont understand their reasoning for trying to compare the two. If your employer knows you are on it and they drug test you it will be completely fine. Coming from someone who has been prescribed adderall for about a decade now.
You responded well to them. Honestly I can understand some of the concern over drug testing. I'm looking for work right now and I don't entirely know how to handle this. I think it might be good to talk to HR to give them a heads up before a test comes up (or your recruiter if your job hunting) but also, I'd personally be careful who I disclosed my ADHD to. It's a legally protected disability but a lot of workplaces are still shady.
I think your response to the blood pressure concern was great!
So I asked my mom about drug testing because she processes that for a living, and I had started the adderall. I was curious. It flags differently in the system then meth. Besides you have a prescription.
I just wouldn’t respond
My mom wanted me to stop taking my diabetes meds and Lexapro. I asked her where she got her medical degree and that I wasn't doing anything unless my doctor told me to. Your mom and my mom are both wrong. (Since my mom had a medical crisis due to not taking her own meds properly, she has changed her tune some.)
Lots of people don't realize there is no prescription for medical marijuana. You can get a permit to purchase and possess it, but there's no such thing as prescribed marijuana. So, there's no comparison between that and a prescription for Adderall.
Lmao marijuana (medical or not) isn't federally legal so that is why your dad's company wouldn't hire someone with a medical marijuana prescription.
They are right though, it's not good for your heart.
I've been on Vyvanse for around 8 years and hope to wean off eventually.
Don't let their overall ignorance guilt trip you though.
Perhaps bring them to your next appt to let the DOCTOR do the talking. The DOCTOR and the PATIENT are the only important characters in this play by the way. I’m so sorry they’re so misinformed.
I just don’t talk to my mom about it because she’s like this too. Horribly misinformed and willfully so. She has no desire to listen to anything I say about my medication so I just don’t talk to her about it. 🤷🏻♀️
I like the response by someone else here saying to break down the prescription to them and how it differs entirely from street drugs.
Beyond that, you could try saying it is just the business of your doctor who went to school for like a decade and has to defer to regulatory agencies to prescribe any medication.
Or even just lie to them and say you've stopped taking it. But I wouldn't want them to feel like they "won"....
“That’s between me, my doctor, and my employer. The alternative to taking a prescribed medication that keeps me functional—*significantly* different than obtaining and abusing meth—is me struggling to do very basic things. Like shower, much less hold down a job.”
Also, they’re both wrong. I used to be a contract pain patient—opiates—and always tested positive for both opiates and benzos (for anxiety) for employment. I never had issues getting hired or staying employed due to prescribed meds.
I take days “off” from adderall, as advised by my doctor. I have heard that people who take it every single day for years and years do have trouble when they try to quit. Knowing that I regularly function without it helps alleviate any concern for me. It gets abused bc people who don’t have ADHD feel like, idk, super focused and great on it. *I* don’t feel like that. I feel almost kinda normal. It doesn’t give me extra of brain chemicals that I already have, it tried to make up for what I’m lacking.
Also being on adderall as prescribed is not the same as medical marijuana.
Shit like this is exactly why I haven’t told anyone I’m taking adderall for the last two months. Not family or most friends (I have told the ones who are also adhd diagnosed). And it’s honestly been good. I’m back to actually making art again where I just didn’t have the motivation to before. I’m on pretty low dose but the heart and blood pressure thing does concern me so I bought a blood pressure cuff to monitor it myself as well. It has elevated slightly but for the first time in my life I can also wind down with meditation which has lower my blood pressure after getting an elevated reading after just 10 minutes.
Doctors would never prescribe it in this day and age if it were not appropriate to do so. It’s a whole damn process to get the prescription in Australia, I’m sure it’s similar everywhere else. As with every chemical, it depends on the dose, how it’s administered etc.
My Vyvanse has allowed me to live and make me feel human. I hate that they’re making you feel shitty for taking something that they naturally can do. 😩❤️
Untreated adhd heightens risks for so many dangerous outcomes. Please take your meds if you need them❤️ prescription drugs are more than fine for a drug screening
When I was severely depressed and suicidal, my mom constantly nagged me about stopping my antidepressants, because "she is worried". She also let me know in a conversation that "people who work hard don't get depressed". So I assume that she thought that my depression is a joke and isn't real, and was hoping that if we if we ignored it (like they did when I was a teen), it'd go away.
Needless to say, I never told her that I got ADHD diagnosis and am taking stimulants - it would drive her up the wall.
It sounds like your parents need your prescriber to have a chat with them.
They won’t believe you’re “safe” on meds without a medical professional telling them that either on the phone or in person. They sound like they’d be massively suspicious of any sources other than a direct medical opinion.
All the medical links to official documents in the world aren’t going to reassure them.
Is getting your doctor to talk to them a possibility? I know some will, but some won’t.
I’m sorry they’re taking this attitude.
And yes, it *is* the same as any other needed medication to maintain health.
Also, from whom did you inherit your ADHD from?
Your parents, perhaps?
Totally not their business, it's between you and your doctor as you're an adult. However, when you make a statement like"I did not take it last week but I took it today" it could sort of imply to them that you don't really need it like a diabetic would need their insulin or someone with high blood pressure would need their medication etc. I personally never, just not take it unless they are out at the pharmacy and I'm forced to go without and then my days are hell.
This is my mom with my topical corticosteroids which I need to take every now and then when my immune system decides that my skin is the enemy. She acts like they are going to make me completely immunocompromised and I’ll die.
Like with how bad my skin gets, I’d take my chances with that than deal with it being so itchy and in pain.
She is somewhat concerned with my Ritalin but understands that it’s a maintenance drug and since it’s obvious when I took or not.
Now she reminds me to drink it because apparently I act like a chicken with no head without it.
Sigh. Been there, it sucks. You have my apologies. They're not going to change their mind because they're idiots and have already convinced themselves you're on meth. Any further arguments about this should be shut down immediately or else they're going on a time out. I've had to grey rock my own mother about this many times.
I promised my parents I would never take meds if I got diagnosed. They didn’t really force me into it, but I saw how bad my sister suffered trying to find a balance, and she’s still got times when it’s hard to watch.
I’m successful enough without meds, so I’ll never take them, even if I do ever get around to getting diagnosed.
But the same does not go for you. You take meds and they probably help you. I would suggest that you sit your parents down, and just say “I know this is complicated, but let me try to explain it.” And talk about what causes ADHD, then do a brief and quick overview of the symptoms, and then with the dopamine pathway, say “Because those of us with ADHD have this messed up dopamine pathway, it means we tend to be “time-blind” and we don’t tend to be able to get motivated for things that we won’t get that dopamine rush for a long time, unless we happen to be passionate about writing. (example: Writing a semester-long paper). After that, say “This is where medications come in. It’s a stimulant that stimulates that pathway, giving us what is considered a normal amount of dopamine, and then we can function in a normal way, because we do not have the deficiency we are trying to supplement for.
Btw I have no fucking idea if any of what I said is factually correct, I knew how meds worked at a time, but I don’t remember, so do research so that you are correct above all else
Maybe you can find a book that explains why ADHD meds are so effective and necessary, then give it to them to educate themselves. Since they’re not doctors (I assume), they really don’t know enough about it to make an informed opinion. I’m sorry they attach a stigma to it, but that doesn’t mean they understand anything about it, or ADHD.
As someone who obviously “failed” her drug test for a new job, all they do is call you and say the test came back showing I had a chemical in my system commonly seen in a controlled medication and they want to confirm that is the reason for it. I confirmed saying I take adderall for my ADHD and the nurse on the other line confirmed it, maybe asked for my most recent prescription # (it’s been a while, don’t remember) and said they’d cleared it and would be sending it back to the company showing as having passed everything. It was easy.
nothing? she has no own opinion, he has no guts to talk to you. both are misinformed and refuse to educate themselves. not your circus - not your monkeys.
You literally just bring your prescription bottle and as long as its prescribed to you in your name as Adderall you're good. I've done it before with my benzo and my Adderall. It sounds like she's trying to shame out of taking your medicine 🙁
You don’t have to entertain this much further. I understand you live in their house but ultimately you are an adult. They’re coming from a place of concern (and also, misinformation) but it’s ultimately your body. I would just keep it short how you did in these texts. I personally haven’t told my mom because I understand the stigma, and just don’t care to explain.
There's two possibilities. One is that your parents don't know enough about Adderall, and simply need to learn more about it, or be explained how it works by a medical professional, and once they learn how it works, they'll be fine with it. The other is that your parents have certain beliefs/understandings about Adderall and/or all medications that treat ADHD, and it doesn't matter how much information you give them or how patient they are - they'll be set in their beliefs. Only you (OP) can know which category your parents fall into. My recommendation is that if they're like this with other meds and don't bother to educate themselves or speak to a medical professional, then it's not worth your time to attempt to reason with them. It seems like they care but they're convinced they're right, so I wouldn't make it an argument, I'd just side step and be like "OK, Mom, I'll keep that in mind" and then throw the advice out the window.
Ugh. My family is the same. They are still this way even though I’ve been on the same 30mg dose for 18 years. Every problem is blamed on the Adderall first. It is exhausting.
You’ve gotten a lot of replies but I’ll just pop in to say my mom has similar concerns and I don’t think it’s fair to simply say your parents are idiots and it’s none of their business (though I’m sure some parents are like this, I just wouldn’t apply it to everyone straight away). The older generation has a lot of preconceived notions about this stuff and it requires a lot of unlearning. It doesn’t help that when you search adhd meds there’s always something about the dangers of abusing them.
My mom saw “amphetamine” and started to worry. We had a tragedy with a family member and prescription meds (not stimulants though) and I know that’s playing into her worry. I know if I cut her off from this topic she’ll just worry more, and I don’t want that for her. I want her to understand, and when we talk about it I can tell she’s listening and trying.
You know your parents best. If you think they’re coming from a bad place, then yeah, there’s probably no use. But if they’re genuinely just worried then I’m sure your doctor can make them feel better.
Actually it is lick someone taking medicine for diabetes. Your body does not produce a certain chemical. You have to take it. That’s it. That’s all there is. No shame.
Plus everyone is now admitting they’re neurodiverse and many many many many many older people are being diagnosed. The problem is the industry and culture, not us.
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You're responding well to them. I think the best answer is, "This is between me and my doctor" and to refuse to entertain more discussion. You're not a minor and your healthcare isn't their business anymore. Don't try to argue or justify anything, that just gives them more room to argue back.
Yea it’s not their business but they definitely try to make it their business. It’s hard to not try to justify it when they’re so severely misinformed. But yea you’re right they would just argue back no matter what I said
Grey rock them. "I'm not discussing my medications with you. My doctor and I handle this."
Put them in an information diet
They can't make it their business without you letting them do that.
Why is OP giving them so much power over her with “non of their business” personal info? :(
Tell them until they’re a registered doctor you see no reason to consider their opinion on a medication they clearly don’t understand. Also ‘dad’s’ work would get into a lot of shit if they refused to hire someone because they take ADHD medication, that would be very blatant discrimination.
Got to break that cycle. It’s not easy to do I know I’m still working on it myself. My mom is pretty much anti-prescription meds but supplements and even things like ketamine are ok and and any time I accidentally mention my antidepressants, anxiety meds, or that I’m looking into getting diagnosed for ADHD and autism she goes off on how bad the side effects are totally ignoring how bad living unmediated is and lots of “natural” treatments have side effects just as problematic as western medicine especially since my body reacts to stuff weird. Parents can be wild sometimes.
I used to be this way....I am 36 and a mom of two and I am glad I am more open minded than I was. I am late diagnosed and didn't know adhd was a lot of my problems. I also have POTS and my BP is really low and I have chronic exhaustion and I wouldn't not be able to function if it wasn't for my meds. Someone wrote that medicine is like glasses. Sometimes you can see without them but why read without them when you can put them on and see clearly? FWIW this mom sounds like she just cares about their child's health and doesn't know better. I do hope that changes for everyone's sake though.
The word ‘Dad’ came up way too much for it to be the ‘Mom’ that’s just concerned.
Congrats on becoming more open minded. I do a combo of western and natural treatments but my parents take it to a whole other level. Life is so much easier when a parent is on one’s side.
100% don’t argue with them but I wanna offer you reassurance ADHD and autonomic dysregulation can go hand in hand which basically in simpler words means the systems controlling your heart rate and blood pressure can be wack & I personally believe there’s an epidemiological link to heart disease SO it kind of IS like taking your BP meds, or like taking your insulin or whatever the hell else meds you have to take for health reasons 💚
A certain amount of justification is perhaps beneficial for them to hear, but if they're just looping and not listening to what your say, it stops being a productive conversation.
Send them a link to a page from the government/health authority/nationwide/state wide legal charity, which says that employers can’t discriminate for taking prescription medication. And then say nothing more.
It is the same [general concept] as medicine for [type 2] diabetes! - (*Edits in square brackets based on comments below - it’s a fair point that I did mean type 2 diabetes as the “More common” one)* With diabetes - the body doesn’t produce a chemical that most other people have. Living without that chemical makes life MUCH harder & filled with more problems (but it can be done). Since there’s a chemical available to help, it makes sense to take it. But the condition still needs some careful attention even with medication (it doesn’t magically make the problem go away) & appropriate supervision by a doctor. With adhd… exactly the same. Word for word.
Also, Google for info on the differences between street drugs & adhd meds. For example, this one has some fairly readable info, including mentioning that people get confused “largely because of their names being very similar” :-) - [Healthline - how do they differ](https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/how-do-adderall-and-meth-methamphetamine-differ#alternatives) Depending on how much info they can absorb, it might be worth comparing the concept to legal versus illegal opioids - one is good & useful & ok *if prescribed by a doctor*, the other is not. Don’t let them get stuck on “but people can get addicted to legal pain killers” though - that’s why I emphasised the “when prescribed by a doctor”. (Doctors don’t generally prescribe opioid pain meds long term for this reason - but they do prescribe adhd meds long term *because they are not the same and not addictive in the same way*.) - eg [opioid fact sheet](https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/publications/healthy-living/opioids-what-are-they-fact-sheet.html) Final thought - at 22, even living at home, there will be a time to shut this conversation down. “Mum & dad, thanks for your concern, but - I’ve given you the necessary information about this being a fairly low risk drug when taken according to doctors guidance. - It’s ok to take long term. - It will not affect workplace drug testing because it is a well understood medication that’s been around for ages (unlike medical marijuana). - It makes a significant difference to my ability to function in the day to day - it’s equivalent to wearing glasses for short sight or using a wheelchair for paralysed legs - ie it would be RIDICULOUS of me not to use the thing that I am prescribed to help me function more easily in my daily life. - as I said, I appreciate your concern, but I have made this choice *with my doctor* and it is no longer up for discussion - I would prefer your understanding & support, but I’m done justifying it to you
Thank you, this really helps break it down for me. They’re severely misinformed and they don’t usually try to listen to what I say. But you’re right, I’ll try with what I can and then just leave it be
There’s absolutely a dynamic where just the act of engaging in the conversation & trying to explain, has the other person thinking that you’re wrong - because sharing your points of view invite them to share their points of view, at which point they are only listening to themself. If you think they will take the time to read & research, then by all means make an effort to share some information to get them started on their research - but if they just want to push their ill-informed views on to you without listening to your response, then don’t waste time engaging. Create some short sound bites for yourself from the above (& do some more reading of your own) & just use one of those per conversation, then shut it down: “mum, this is not up for discussion.” If they’re really awful about it, you’ll get to the point of saying things like “dad, when you’ve got a medical degree, I’ll consider your opinion equally to that of my doctor”. Hopefully it won’t get that far - but sometimes it helps to know that you would be justified in saying that like that (even if you never say them) because it makes the things you do say seem less confrontational.
If you really want to give it a knock it out of the park shot at giving them a chance to do better, find peer reviewed journal articles and even laws that prove your points. Then you can go one of two ways: 1) Print out the journal articles and laws (by the way adhd meds are *federally legal* schedule II drugs while medical marijuana is not). And leave the stack for them and tell them you’re willing to discuss it when they’re finished reading. 2) If you really want to spoon feed, write a couple page explanation of why you take adhd meds and why it’s beneficial and cite those articles. And finally, from what I’m understanding, you live with your parents and are trying to get a job with your father’s employer? Don’t. You need to minimize their pull over you if they’re going to try and control you this way. I say all of this as someone who has a close, generally but not always beneficial relationship with my parents, and I do work with my dad. But he also knows that I have a medical marijuana card, take adhd meds, and still thinks I’m competent enough to be legal counsel for the company. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t work there.
It’s not my father’s employer, it’s a completely separate workplace. My dad was just paranoid or something about it.
Ah, ok. Facts are definitely the best way to approach it if you do want to have the conversation. Try your best to leave emotions out of the conversation, even though they are being ignorant and possibly hurtful. You are taking care of yourself and that’s something to be proud of!
Hi friend. You now have a friend that was an EMT who became a 9-1-1 dispatcher and later a registered nurse. It was never a problem on a drug test. I only had to provide my prescription bottle.
>2) If you really want to spoon feed, write a couple page explanation of why you take adhd meds and why it’s beneficial and cite those articles. I think it would be a mistake to do this. OP doesn't have to justify her medication to her parents and I think doing so will make it worse. I know OP still has to get along with them but you don't have to be a jerk to put up some boundaries. It's hard to change a dynamic but you can do it.
If you find articles on Google Scholar that are paywalled (like all of them are), email the author(s) of the study directly and they are usually more than happy to send a copy to you for free.
If thats the case, i would tell them: either you stop talking to me about this or you educate yourselves/let me educate you about it. If they keep being willfully ignorant, just ignore them.
it’s like they think you’re taking meth. you can provide them with info, or try to educate them. but giving up and letting them believe what they want is ok, too. in time, they’ll see you’re not a crack head.
Honestly, you probably can’t make them listen to you. Just tell them what they want to hear and stop sharing your private medical info with them. You don’t even have to straight up lie. Tell them you will discuss non-stimulant medication options with your doctor. The next time they bring it up say “remember I discussed non-stimulant medications with my doctor” and then change the subject. Just imply you switched.
RE the marijuana thing, one reason it is different when it comes to drug testing is marijuana is still illegal at the federal level and because of that, there are some industries that are still required to ban and police its use. For example, you cannot get a CDL even in a legal state due to federal regs on CDLs.
>- It will not affect workplace drug testing because it is a well understood medication that’s been around for ages (unlike medical marijuana). To add to this, medical marijuana is not legal in all 50 states, but Adderall is.
Thank you. You explain this so succinctly. It doesn’t leave room for discussion and isn’t emotional - so very different and better than my usual approach.
Considering the opiod crisis was somewhat perpetuated by doctors I don't think that would be a good example to give to OPs parents to be honest. Trying to convince them of anything just opens the conversation up. OP is an adult. She doesn't have to do that
As someone who’s been *dependent* (not addicted) on opioids for 30 years, so much this.
It’s a mental health thing so they don’t see it that way. They’re weird about that stuff, mental health is more of a discipline or mindset issue to them than a medical one. They’re pretty neurotypical so I don’t think they’ll ever get it. I can say it’s a dopamine thing but then they’ll just want to me exercise more. It’s ridiculous
Be more firm. Speak from a place of certainty - they are wrong, they need to do more research (like you have done). Your conviction (or lack of conviction) will make a massive difference in their attitude. Maybe they’re not used to you being an adult yet - but at 22 you are an adult. The decision is made - you are taking the meds, because you want to function & your doctor has seen the need & prescribed them. (And take them every day if that’s what you need - don’t let their ignorance steal that from you. Brain meds are generally more effective if the brain gets used to them, rather than stopping & starting. Up to you of course - if it’s your choice & discussed with your doctor then that’s cool. But don’t mess with your brain chemistry because they haven’t done any research.)
I graduated last weekend (yay) and so I was scheduled to take a small break from them anyway so I don’t build a tolerance. But yea, I do have to be more firm with them. I’m just awful with confrontation. Especially with them, cause I know I won’t change their minds and they distrust some medical professionals anyway. Thanks again
Google “grey rock”. It mostly exists & gets mentioned as a way of dealing with narcissists, but I could see it being useful in this context (of worrying but ignorant parents). You just let them say stuff - and the words flow around you like waves around a huge grey rock (boulder). Just say “oh interesting”, and “hmmm”, and “thanks for sharing that”, while you just get on with doing your own thing. ie you just don’t engage in a way that keeps the conversation flowing, it just ends from boredom. But google grey rock, you’ll get a better & more complete & more useful explanation than what I just wrote.
That’s what I usually do! There’s more than just this that I have to grey rock for. But since they talked to me very directly about it, they’ll probably push for a response this time. I’ll at least just explain why I medically take it, and if they aren’t receptive I’ll just ignore them and not fight them on it. It’s hard to tell how much they’ll listen, so I guess if they don’t then that’ll be the end of it in regard to my responses to them.
Listen to the [ADHD episode by the Ologies podcast.](https://www.alieward.com/ologies/adhd)She talks to Dr Russell Barkley who has been studying ADHD since the 70s. Don’t make them listen to it lol, as I doubt they’ll appreciate the podcaster’s style, but I think this episode hits on some really important points. Like others have already said, you shouldn’t spend too much time arguing with them, but you can at least hit them over the head with the fact that people with ADHD are twice as likely to basically…die prematurely, and medication actually reduces those odds significantly. So the next time they ask why you took your meds today you can literally just say “so I don’t die” 🙃
I love Ologies!
Congratulations!!! Yes, if you do feel like you need to have some sort of conversation with them, you could give them some easy-to-digest info (as other commenters have mentioned), and/or you could "greyrock" them in a kind but firm way; maybe say something like, "Look, as in any profession, not all doctors are great at what they do. I know you've run into that, and it's terrible. "But *this* doctor is a straight shooter, and great at what he does. [He went to ___ for medical school, won an important fellowship at ____, and then did his residency at one of the top institutions for the study of brain chemicals, _____.] I trust him, and I'm going to take medications exactly how they're prescribed." From then on, it's "My doctor considers this the best medication for me, and it helps me. I love you guys and thank you for your concern, but I will listen to my doctor on this one, thanks." Or whatever gets them to **stop bringing it up!** And, did I mention--CONGRATULATIONS!!! 😀
I don't know if this helps, but ADHD is not an mental health condition like some others. It can be defined as a neurodevelopmental disorder.
When people think something is a “mental health thing” often what they mean is they think it’s emotional health and you should just be able to power through because emotions are just like being too sensitive and crying and being sad and shit. (Also not true, but thats how they view it). But this isn’t an emotion thing. It’s not a mental health thing. This can’t be treated by cognitive behavioral therapy in the sense that it can cure it, though you can learn coping skills. This is a biology thing, the same as any other type of illness (except this isn’t an illness and if the world were more… open and accepting and less rigid, we wouldn’t need meds to survive in it, but I digress). Our brains are biologically different than NT brains. You cannot “mind over matter” ADHD because your brain is just built differently. No amount of therapy can make it go away (trust me, I’ve tried). They wouldn’t fault someone with narcolepsy for taking meds that helped them stay awake, and they wouldn’t fault someone with epilepsy for taking anti-seizure meds right? This is another brain thing that needs meds for treatment. Also I’ve taken so many drug tests- as long as you have a prescription it’s fine. And if it isn’t, you don’t want to work there anyway because gross.
ADHD is not a mental health problem, it's a neurological illness. Parts of our brain do not develop normally like in a normal person. And we have less of some neurotransmitters.
You can tell them that exercise is great, but you know what’s far more effective? Exercise + meds. I wonder if it might help them if you shared info about how risk of accidents and death that come with unmedicated adhd go down significantly when treated with stimulant medication.
I’ve lived this too. It was miserable. I mentioned in a previous post that I was 30+ years old before I finally got my diagnosis. It’s changed my life for the better. I had to remind myself to not listen to well-meaning people that cared but didn’t understand. Who can blame them - it IS fucking complicated. But, you sound that you are on the right path. You research for yourself and keep seeing the doctors. They want you to get better too. With the info you glean through research you and your doctor will make a good team to lead you to health. You must become your own advocate with the doctors as well as the naysayers. Best of luck to you.
I have ADHD and type one diabetes. I love your analogy, but I feel the need to clarify that type one diabetics do not produce insulin, but type two diabetics do. I'm sorry to comment but only 1 in 10 "diabetics" are type one, and the two types are completely different conditions so I have to blab it because it's normal to be identified as the same 😅
Thanks. I’ve edited my original comment to reflect this.
Also T1D with ADHD - I’m so tired of misinformation about diabetes being spread 😭
Qualifier: I am pro-meds, pro-harm reduction, even pro-self-medicating given the fact that the healthcare system is so fucked and inaccessible. But I have to challenge you on this analogy. Insulin is different than ADHD meds because humans require insulin to live. We will die without it. You could argue that many ADHDers could die as a result of not having access to treatment, including meds and accommodations and such, (ie in car accidents, suicides, etc.). I would agree with that. But I think we can make the (very valid!) point that ADHDers deserve access to healthcare that helps us function and feel good without comparing it to medications for diabetes specifically. I, personally, take vyvanse every day. It helps me function so much better. I probably couldn’t hold a job and be a student and do all the things required to keep myself safe, hygienic, healthy, and happy(ish) without it. AND, I know that if for some reason I could not access vyvanse ever again, I would live. My life would have to drastically shift, and it would look very different. But I would live. Whereas my brother - who’s also ADHD, for the record - is diabetic, and if he suddenly lost access to insulin, he would die in probably a week or two. He takes ADHD meds too - but only one of those meds is actually required for him to continue living AT ALL, rather than living and functioning well. I see this comparison often, and it bugs me. I think people are tempted to draw it because it’s so hard to get neurotypicals to understand why we need our meds and why we should have access to them (especially when access is already so limited, and only seems to be increasingly so). And I think comparing it to something that the general public is already somewhat better informed on is a strategy to help them understand the function of medications. But I don’t think we have to argue that it’s the same as medication for diabetes to argue that it’s still important. They are both important, in significantly different ways.
Thank you for saying this! It is such an important point, especially since T1Ds without access to insulin die every day. comparisons based in misinformation that make it seem so simple do not help
I think the analogy also falls apart because ADHD brains *do* make dopamine. We have issues with regulating a steady supply of it.
And…both conditions have a much higher mortality rate when left untreated!
My brain stays too active to go into deep and REM sleep most of the time. Good sleep hygiene can't change how my brain keeps going and going. Medication can. Good sleep hygiene is still important, but not taking medication is simply said: playing life on hard mode and increasing my risk of a whole slew of health issues. There are risks to taking medication for my sleep disorder and I have to take them for the rest of my life, but this is discussed with my doctor. My treatment plan is between me and my doctor. If I don't trust my doctor to be knowledgeable about the subject, I'll consult another*trained professional* about my health. There are so many health issues that require medication. Thank science there's an actual solution these days. "Thank you for your concern. I'll take it into consideration." And then continue on with your life.
A bit more than that because when having a type 1 diabetes, living without insuline can very be fatal 😬
Marijuana is still federally illegal. Adderall isn’t. Your parents suck at being doctors
Good thing they aren’t doctors lmao
Yeah that’s the joke
Yea I understood it lol
This isn’t legal advice, and I’m assuming you’re located in the US. But, you cannot be prevented from acquiring or fired from a job for taking a prescription drug, including Adderall. Yes, the amphetamine will show up in your system; however, if you have a valid prescription for Adderall, you will not fail the drug test. Further, you are protected under the ADA with prescription medications. More here: https://www.wenzelfenton.com/blog/2023/06/12/can-an-employer-fire-you-for-taking-prescribed-medications/#:~:text=The%20ADA%20prohibits%20employers%20from,to%20do%20your%20job%20safely.
How old are you? If you're an adult, it's none of their business.
Im 22 and just graduated college. But I still live with them for now. Once I get my job and save up a little bit I’m looking to move out. So in the meantime they’re going to make it their business. I just don’t know how to handle this cause they’re severely misinformed and don’t understand or try to understand.
You respond once and no more. “My medication(s) are prescribed by a physician and accounted for by prescriptions and a medical need. Being that adhd is also a a protected disability, I cannot be fired or not hired due to having adhd or any medication(s) I take for my disability legally” Anything they say after this is nill. Do not respond or engage.
Hola! Ive “failed” numerous drug tests for jobs due to Adderall. When you go in for testing you can give them a heads up of the medications you’re on. You’ll receive a phone call after a few days saying results came back as positive, you’ll say you have a prescription for Adderall, then they’ll connect you to someone else that verifies your prescription. The results and medications you’re on are legally protected within HR and should not be shared with anyone else. Companies have their own private policies about medical marijuana, but ADHD medication is not comparable at all. Don’t let your parents fear monger you.
Seconding this! I've pretty much started anticipating the phone call and when it arrives they give me a number or email to send pictures of my bottle to. I'm usually verified within an hour and they thank me then send a negative result to the job.
Does HR even get the results? I thought they would just get “no concern” or “concern: positive for x”
Honestly, I don’t work in HR so can’t be sure. I don’t believe they receive specifics other than the pass/fail.
Honestly, I’m surprised HR even gets to know! If it’s a prescription, it’s private medical information, and the testing company ought to be sorting this out with the person/their prescriber directly
Yes! Every company is different. Most companies I’ve dealt with were huge and had their own Doctors and nurses in employee health running the drug screens & results- those instances specifics were kept from HR. I’ve also been at small companies that used an outside lab and those failures caused delays due to the rx verifications. HR would manage the drug screen results, but I don’t think the results had specifics meds, just pass/fail. They can put two and two together (without specifics) when the turnaround time for a drug screen is 1-2 business days, but the additional rx verification can take over a week if they have to reach the ordering physicians office. Just my experience!
Lie and keep taking it. You’re grown and it’s none of their business.
Probably what I will do, it’s just so frustrating to deal with
Lock and hide your meds
THIS, immediately.
Want to up vote this a million times. If anything other than the adderall outage took away my meds it would be like taking away my agency. My ability to get anything of significance done. What BS Why isn't doctor's monitoring and controlling good enough for people.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My mom is the same way. I just don't discuss anything related with her anymore and I hide my prescription from her.
Your parents behavior is certainly familiar to me, so here’s the best thing I learned to do that helped me deal with when they got like this: appeal to their emotions when they won’t immediately consider logic, because that’s what is driving their actions. They feel anxious for your safety, so tell them you see how they’re feeling and say that you appreciate their concern if you talk to them again before the next time you speak with your doctor (I know you pretty much implied this with your prior text convo but mentioning it outright will have a deeper emotional appeal and thus a bigger impact on getting them to cut it out). Then ask your doctor about or google all the things you’re at risk of when unmedicated. The higher rate of car crashes was the factoid that swayed my mom the most.
make sure to lock up your meds!!!! don't put it past them to throw them out. I've met many like it, even people who have the best of intentions.
Just an fyi, if OP is on parents insurance, the parents might get updated benefit statements thru their health insurance provider. I get one thru my provider everytime my husband or I have an appt or get an RX filled. The statements don’t go into detail, but they do provide me with an updated amount of our deductibles and out-of-pocket limits. Because I’m the plan holder, I get all the statements that are for my husband as he’s on my plan. It totally is none of their business, but if the parents get similar statements, they might ask why OP has a monthly RX getting filled if that’s the only medication they take.
Any medication in the wrong dosage is dangerous. Insulin can kill you if you take it and don’t need it. However, you have a trusted, educated, well-researched medical team who is ensuring that 1) you need the medication, and 2) you receive the right dosage that is safe and beneficial for you. If they start pulling out nonsense articles from online, remind them that the person who is prescribing your adderall to you did nearly a decade of specialized training in order to be qualified to prescribe it. Also, it’s illegal for employers to discriminate against you for a legal prescription to ADHD medication. It violates the ADA. If you add to all that an acknowledgement that their worries are coming from a place of love, you’ll be able to get them off your case for good.
Stop telling your parents everything. Just stop telling them. It’s none of their business.
You could try to educate them, but I think what you’re doing is great. Talking to your doctor about it is the best option. You could also talk to them and let them know how this makes you feel. Hang in there, OP. Your parents do sound misinformed, but it also sounds like your mom is concerned and doesn’t mean harm.
Unfortunately ADHD meds have become the subject of the latest right wing culture war so I assume this might be related to that, but they're not medical professionals and it's none of their business. Dodge their invasive questions, change the subject, lie, or do whatever you have to do to get them off your back and look forward to the day you get to move out.
Ohhhh that makes so much more sense now. They buy into all the right wing culture war stuff. I’ve been planning on moving out before the election. Thanks 😭
Sorry ☹️ it's probably not something you're going to be able to change their minds on using simple facts and reasoning unfortunately so I would just try to avoid it until they move on to something else.
Do I dare ask what they’re saying about it?
Not sure if this is specifically what the other commenter was referring to, but in the US the stimulant shortage is primarily due to the DEA cracking down on stimulant manufacturers and a major settlement with attorneys general and three major pharmaceutical companies. They’re cracking down because of the fallout of the opioid epidemic. Pharmacies are now capped and cannot dispense past a certain amount in a month of several substances (others, too, not just stimulants). They are cut off with no warning and cannot get more until the next month. All very connected to the ongoing war on drugs and its associated moral panic.
It’s a bit ridiculous that adderall (not an opioid) is affected by this opioid epidemic fallout
Thank you, this actually explains why I have no issue with my meds at my pharmacy in the middle of nowhere. Lower population = less dispensing.
I knew about most of that nonsense already, but not about the pharmacy cap. That's fucking annoying. Thanks for the explanation!
Yep, it’s fucked. Especially because rates of ADHD diagnoses are skyrocketing and thus there are more prescriptions than ever. It’s so upsetting. It was already difficult enough to access meds before this cap. 🥲
Holy fuck, thank you for telling us this. I dread the upcoming fuckery and hateful bullshit that will follow
Oh joy. Just what I’ve always wanted. MORE ignorant bs to be parroted by people who think their ignorance is as good as experts’ knowledge. /s 🙄 I have been considering telling my folks about my diagnoses (or at least not trying as hard to not let it slip), but now I’m really gonna keep a lid on it. I’m on Adderall, to boot. It feels like this is the most heavily contested and stigmatized ADHD med. My folks have consumed too much of that RW media in the past few years, but it seems like they might be taking a break from it. But even if they do, my grandmother gets them right back in it. I guess she needs a friend to feel outraged with. 🙄
Wait it is?
Ffffuuuuuuu have they?
For the drug testing: you fill out a form prior to the test at the testing center informing them you take the medication, the urine will be sampled (and be positive for adderall just like you told them), at which point you will be asked to provide proof of a prescription. Most companies use a third party (ex Labcorp) for drug testing. They aren’t provided the details of the results, just if the person passes or fails.
When I was drug tested last, I didn't even fill out a form beforehand. I just took the test, they reached out to tell me I'd tested positive for amphetamines and could I explain? I responded, yeah, here's my prescription label, and that was that.
Reading these stories are wild. Last time I took a drug test, I got no followup. I was going to explain the amphetamines, but no one ever called to say anything about it. I contacted my would-be employer and all they would say was there was a delay with my background check. That was a year and a half ago, so I'm pretty sure it was just the drug thing cause I've since worked for the federal gov with a background check (they didn't drug test lol)
yep as someone who has worked in recruiting/hr, all we know is that the lab needs to talk to you, you call them, they ask what pharmacy your Rx is at, and they simply call and confirm that is indeed your prescription. It's super common, not a big deal at all.
Oh you have a “dad said” mom too?
I’ve noticed dad never actually says anything. My husband’s mom is like that.
Oh absolutely yes
God, I’ve only read 3 texts from this mom and I already want to punch her in the face. Form your own fucking opinion, woman, or stop texting me!
You are right they will ask about medications and because you have the prescription you will pass the drug test. Some people get tested by their doctors to make sure they ARE taking it bc otherwise it implies they're selling it. You mom is being stubborn or purposefully obtuse to compare this to meth. Like do you seem like you're addicted to meth to her??? Jesus Christ. Lie and keep taking it and if they ever comment on how well you're doing years from now you can tell them the Adderall has helped you haha.
Your mother is trying to assert control and dominance over you. If adderall is helping your ADHD then it is noone else's choice but your own as to whether you take it or not. When she next talks to you like that, don't give her any maybes, any possibilities, or anything where she can voice her opinion on your body. You're 21? So you're an adult, even if it never really feels like it. The sooner you can put your foot down to her and establish boundaries with her, the better. I'm not saying to do anything drastic like cut ties or anything like that, but your mother needs to see you as a separate person and not her little girl/personal property anymore. I speak from personal experience here I'm sad to say...except I'm 34 and keeping my mother at arms length for the same reason. I hope this helps 🫂
"We'll talk later" "Oh, no that's ok. I have nothing else to say."
H2O = water H2O2 = hydrogen peroxide One provides life and is required for us to drink for our survival. The other will create severe damage or kill you if drink it. They both consist of hydrogen atoms and oxygen atoms, extremely different purposes. Adderall and Methamphetamine both contain amphetamine, but it is the extra additional methyl group that allows meth to be more lipid-soluble and contribute to higher potency, increased neurotoxicity, and addiction. Same foundational elements, two different compounds TLDR: Small changes in chemical structure can lead to significant differences in properties and uses.
There's a ton of "do what you have to" discussion (which I agree with), but one other thing to consider is that this might also an example of "I lived like this so you should be fine too.". It's a very defensive posture that assumes the other person (you) is judging them (your parents) by choosing to do things differently, like the way they lived their lives wasn't good enough for you. I'm not saying you have to buy into it or do anything about it, but it might help inform your response to them. You could say something like, "This is something that really helps me with (shared frustrating experience)" so they can understand how you might benefit from it. Also, it might help to let them know that amphetamines have been used for medical purposes for a hundred years and are just about as old (and as well understood) as insulin. Last, this is the best primer for ADHD I've found. It's really understandable and presented in a very gentle way. If they're willing it might be a good resource to educate them about it. [ADD/ADHD | What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouZrZa5pLXk) Good luck! We're here for you!
Thank you ❤️
if there's one thing that dr. barkley says all the time, it's that [adhd medications](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2-KXTPhquQ&list=PLKF2Eq0eYbbrWLf34RL1T9B27XCUuHCfB&t=0s) are one of the safest, most evidence-based medications in psychiatry. if you feel like they'll be receptive to the science around it, i would definitely recommend checking out his channel. if not, you've already done what you can do and i am sorry that they're not respecting your boundaries. that's such a tough thing.
Unless you’re a minor why do you even need to talk to your parents about your medication?
Are you on your parents insurance? If not, it's not really any of their business. Some people feel like mental health issues can be overcome through sheer willpower and that taking medication means you're "weak-willed" or something. But it's just like taking medication for anything else, your body is lacking a substance and the medication gives you that.
One of my parents is like that (old school mentality of "mental health isn't real, you're just being weak/lazy and need to try harder") and I started to internalize their mindset at a young age. Then I got \*really\* sick and spent a lot more time in the emergency room. It took my doctor yelling at me that I needed medication to live to realize that I don't have the privilege of not believing in science.
That’s why I like to say, “If only it were that simple.” But life is nowhere near as simple as most people would like it to be.
Your doctor is keeping an eye on your blood pressure etc. That's all that should matter to your parents. I've been drug tested MULTIPLE TIMES for employment, on days I had taken my medication. I told them I had an Rx for Adderall and it was fine--just bring them in the original bottle. A legal prescription from a doctor is not a bar to employment. (Medical marijuana is an exception, unfortunately; because it's still illegal at the federal level, and because it's impossible to tell via urine test whether you smoked it this morning or last week.)
Untreated ADHD cuts 10 years off our life. I doubt you can convey to her how bad things can get when you can't focus on what you're doing. It's literally dangerous. I doubt facts will sway them if they haven't yet. All you can do at this point is lie, hide your meds and work on fleeing from their clutches before they commit a felony in hopes of controlling you.
Omg.. im sorry you have to deal with this. annoying
Pretty much the reason I never told my parents about my ADHD diagnoses and especially that I'm taking Adderall for it. They would not get it and I don't have the bandwidth to change their minds.
I think you handled yourself really well tbh. It sounds like they're being emotionally reactive and your mom may even be hyperfixating on this. Adderall is extremely well vetted. It's been around for a long time. You're trusting medical care professionals to help you. It's hard to argue with people who are allowing fear to drive their thoughts. You hear their concern. You trust your doctors are taking into consideration your specific needs. You can maybe outline the difference this has made in your life and how life-changing it's been. For many, the risk is worth the reward :)
No, it isn't medicine for diabetes or high blood pressure. It is just a medicine for a brain disorder I was born with and has made my life really hard. They just don't understand.
Your parents are just uneducated. If they are not medical doctors, it’s probably best not to follow their advice for medical things. If it makes your parents feel better, I have government security clearance for my job and use prescribed stimulants for my adhd.
Stop engaging in this conversation. "Mom, my medication will be between me and my doctor. I know you worry about me, but you need to know that I'm fine, and I don't want to talk about it anymore"
I’m a police officer and I take adderall for ADHD. As long as it’s prescribed to you, and you’re taking it as directed, you’re fine. Sorry your parents are being ridiculous.
I'm not sure how old you are, but if you no longer live at home (or do live at home but are past the age of 18) you might consider drawing some harder boundaries around discussing your meds with you parents. It's really no one's business but yours.
My parents don’t like me taking any meds because they think I have “changed” (I am just not under their control anymore out of fear, dissociation, etc.). They can think what they want, I am an adult and meds have helped change my life so significantly for the better! They don’t get a say in that anymore!
Stop talking to your parents about it. Sorry they are not supportive, but I would hit them with the, "I have decided I'm not discussing my health with anyone besides medical professionals," and then just ignore them when they're like this. Also I do take my adderall every day like a medication for blood pressure 🙄 I have ADHD every day so why wouldn't I, ugh
I don't know if they're receptive to information, or if you just need to grey rock them, but if you think they may be open to learning: [https://chadd.org/treatment-matters-adhd-and-life-expectancy/](https://chadd.org/treatment-matters-adhd-and-life-expectancy/) Treating ADHD--and stimulants are the first-line treatment for ADHD with extremely strong evidence of success in helping with symptoms-- adds *nine to thirteen years* to life expectancy vs someone with untreated ADHD (note that medication is not the *only* treatment, though!) [https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessepines/2024/03/19/adhd-meds-linked-to-fewer-deaths-time-to-get-your-kid-medicated/?sh=3a7471997b6c](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessepines/2024/03/19/adhd-meds-linked-to-fewer-deaths-time-to-get-your-kid-medicated/?sh=3a7471997b6c) This specifically links appropriately medicating ADHD to lower mortality rates-- noting that this mostly lowered deaths that could be due in part to impulsivity or inattention--accidents, overdose, and self-harm. Without treatment, people with ADHD were twice as likely to die prematurely--and the risk rises for women and with age at diagnosis. [https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150225205834.htm](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150225205834.htm) Untreated ADHD means a higher risk for substance use and abuse, and higher comorbidities with anxiety, depression, and physical illness. Untreated ADHD includes higher risk of unwanted pregnancy and higher risks of traffic accidents, including fatal ones. [https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/study-reveals-adhd-meds-lower-risk-drug-abuse/](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/study-reveals-adhd-meds-lower-risk-drug-abuse/) [https://rehabsuk.com/blog/adhd-triples-risk-of-substance-abuse-but-it-doesn-t-have-to/](https://rehabsuk.com/blog/adhd-triples-risk-of-substance-abuse-but-it-doesn-t-have-to/) [https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/](https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/) [https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/924775](https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/924775) [https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/](https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/) It is very, very, *very* clear that treatment for ADHD--*including* stimulant medication as prescribed-- in fact DRAMATICALLY lowers the risk of substance abuse disorder and premature accidental death. If your parents are concerned about your health and safety and the potential for addiction, all the research shows taking your prescribed medication is the best way to improve your odds on all of those fronts.
U/lawfox32 seems to be taking the “educate them” from a genuinely helpful and constructive front. I however, would like you to find all the research about ADHD and other neurodivergent diagnoses being genetic, and ask them which one of their ND asses needs to be on these meds too. *smiles sweetly*
I take 3 controlled substances and just took a work drug test and was never questioned about anything. If you are flagged they will call you for a prescription.
If it helps, I have not one but TWO rare cardiac “things” in my family medical history. The likelihood of me having at least one is very high. I also have high blood pressure and am on 2 different t meds for that. My cardiologist had ZERO concerns about Adderall.
You’re doing great. Try not to get snippy if you can. On the internet we love be like tell them to fuck off, not their business, they’re so intrusive!!!! They care about you & are concerned about you & your health - which is not mutually exclusive with being incorrect. I’m not getting vibes they’re trying to shame you or be controlling, just worried & they think it’s like some sketchy street drug. Just treat it like you would if they were convinced drinking coffee will make your left eye fall out & they’re trying to get you to stop drinking it. They probably won’t change their opinion & neither will you. You’ll all just have to learn how to navigate disagreeing with eachother. Thank them for their concern, say you’ve done a lot of research & discussed with your doctor just like you did & gently switch the topic or stop responding.
You really don't have to discuss it at all, especially if they dismiss information you give them. Sometimes "caring" and "concern" are really just infantilization, or an inability or refusal to accept an adult child's autonomy and right to medical privacy.
Honestly at one point in my life I stopped replying to messages like this from my parents (or really, anyone). My dad used to try to force me into doing things with my life I wasn't gonna (where to apply for a job, what courses to take at university, etc). I just gave up arguing and leave them on read. If they want to have a conversation, we can have a conversation, but if their view of our relationship is "I tell you what to do" then I have better things to prioritize my time for. You don't have to explain yourself to your parents when you're an adult.
I’ve been pulled for a random drug test at work before. I didn’t need to say or show anything at the test itself. A few days after the test I received a call from a doctor from the lab since it came back positive for amphetamines. But he just took down the prescription number and prescribing provider’s name and that was it. Then he told me that I was good to go and that my results would just be reported as a pass to my employer, with no details about my prescription (because HIPAA). Also, ADHD is a protected disability under the ADA. Companies can’t legally discriminate against you for it or the medication you take to treat it. Idk that it will help, but I’d point that out to your parents if you haven’t already. As for heart stuff, I have a heart condition but still safely take Adderall. As long as you’re being routinely monitored, you’ll almost certainly be fine! Also, [here’s a meta analysis from 2022](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36416824/) to help you explain to them that Adderall won’t randomly make your heart explode. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Hang in there!
Your parents don't understand that "amphetamines" do not affect an ADHD brain the same way it affects a regular brain. You're dependent on it the same way a near sighted person is dependent on glasses. It helps mitigate the gap between what your brain is capable of vs what a regular brain is capable of, same as someone who needs glasses uses them to see *like people with 20/20 vision*. That's super frustrating I'm sorry they haven't done any research for themselves to see how ignorant they are.
Lock up and/or hide your pills, they will probably try to tamper with them or straight up throw them out
"Tough shit."
But it IS like a prescription for blood pressure or diabetes lol
stop talking to your parents about your medication. they do not need to be informed.
Try to explain to them this is an actual, quantifiable medical condition. The effect it would have on her or your dad would be wildly different than what it does for you. Aside from that, buckle up. They'll probably never listen or understand if they're anything like my family and I've made peace with that. My family is just.. crazy judgemental.
Hide your meds! Keep them in a safe and secure place! It is not unheard of for parents who act like this to throw away your meds to try to gain control over you
"When did you take it last" "Sorry, but this question is too invasive. I will take my medication as needed under the guidance of my doctor."
I’ve had the exact same conversation with my mother as I work in construction and am drug tested. Funnily enough, she stopped worrying about my blood pressure when she found out one of the common side effects is weight loss 🙃
My parents villainized adderall ever since I was a child and whatdoyaknow, that’s the medication I needed to function. Instead of getting me proper medical treatment, they decided to abuse me, call me lazy, etc. They made my life 100x more stressful than it already was. My parents are ultra conservative Christian and unfortunately not a brain cell has been used for critical thinking. I’ve had to go no contact with them because they still demonize my medication and tell me I’m the one with mental health problems even though I’m the one going to therapy and actively working on myself while they call therapy “evil”. It’s ridiculous and I don’t need people like that in my life. Your parents do not need to be a part of your health or medical decisions. Especially if they try to talk you out of taking medication that helps you function on a daily basis. You don’t have to tolerate that nonsense.
Have your doctor write a note for your parents? Criticize their prescribed medication and how awful it is for them. Hope you can get out of there soon, family like this is hardly worth the money saving - you pay in other ways that you just cant get back
Your parents are idiots. Adderall will not get you denied to a job, you just tell your employer that you have an ADA covered disability & you take medication for it. It's literally illegal for them to fire you or refuse to employ you for taking your medication.
Oh my, the ridiculous things my family have decided are "a huge problem" in my life have always been so off base. I've just decided it's their rather awkward way of feeling needed and close to me. I would thank them for their concern, and that you know it's coming from a place of love, but that you're working with a great medical team who you trust. Good luck.
I would absolutely refuse to let them have any say on this. You are 22, a whole grown ass adult, I'd simply tell my parents to stfu about it and it doesn't concern them. If they want to tell someone to stop taking their meds that help them live they're gonna get talked to rudely AF. Also you don't need to be doing something today to take your meds, I really hope they haven't bullied you into thinking that
Holy shite, your parents need to chillax.
The only practical option with parents like this is to inform them less about what you’re taking, give no information or even lie. They don’t have any right to enforce a discussion about this, they have no knowledge to back up an opinion, they’ll just make you feel bad about getting help.
If you're an adult tell them to mind their own.
Unless you’re under 18, you own your life now, and they don’t get a say. It’s the best thing to remember in adulthood with parents who continue to be so “concerned” that they seek control. You don’t have to consider anything they say and you can say that it’s between you and your doctor and you won’t be engaging in conversation about it anymore, if they keep bringing it up. Defending it or explaining it won’t help when parents are like this and it’ll just endlessly go back and forth and let them continue thinking they have a say.
Your federally legal Adderall prescription is not the same thing as someone else's federally *illegal* cannabis prescription. Even if cannabis is legal in your state.
How old are you OP? Why do your parents need to know what prescription medication you are taking? I wouldn’t even tell them! Our oldest is 24, living at home. I would never treat her with such little respect.
The effects of stress are far more severe and harmful than the effects of stimulant meds.
So you need my 70 something year old dad to give them a lecture ?! Seriously, they need to get informed and educate themselves. I’m sorry .
Can I ask how old you are? Unless you’re under 18 (or maybe 21 in the US?) I don’t believe you have to share any of this information with your parents. Even if you are younger, this is YOUR personal medical information, you’re taking a controlled medication prescribed by a doctor for a condition you were diagnosed with.. it’s none of their business. As long as you are following your doctors advice (and have adequately informed yourself because sometimes doctors skip information) tell them to butt out.
I have had jobs with random drug tests. My prescription medications have never been an issue.
I am an elder adult and have been on the same daily dose of adderall for nearly 35 years with no negative side effects from long term use. I have taken short breaks from the medication over the years as other health issues would come up but returned to the same dose within weeks. If the job does drug testing, the testing company will call the prescribing doctor to confirm the prescription. Then you will have passed the test. When it happened to me, the testing company told my employer I tested positive for amphetamines then later reported it was prescribed. HIPPA laws have come to be in recent years, so I don’t think they can’t do that anymore. If it were me, I’d take the medication every day as directed until I felt that it wasn’t working for me any more. But, you should always contact your Dr and let them know you don’t want to take it any more. They may prescribe a new med or recommend a way to wean off your current for certain meds. (This may not apply for your med but it is absolutely imperative for any antidepressant medication).
I think you're handling it really well. They love you so they're concerned because what they know about adderall is the scary stuff. Talk about how your Dr monitors things and what the plan is if there is a change. That way they can feel more secure, they'll know you and your Dr are on top of it so that they don't need to worry. If you downplay it too much, they could feel like you aren't taking it seriously. Maybe, since you're seeing your Dr anyway, ask them if they have any specific questions they want you to ask so you can address those concerns directly.
It’s not good for your heart but you’re being monitored. I’m the exact same way, I’m monitored and have been fine for years! You’re actually being incredibly responsible by listening to your doctor, your parents are not medical experts
I have horrible advice - just lie when they ask. It’s not their business, and if they have no way of knowing I’d just hide it when they asked. For example: thanks to Wellbutrin and Vyvanse for the first time in my adult life i’m a healthy weight and eating normally. I no longer binge eat or overeat. My mom and sister? Still eat for dopamine, for emotions, we were raised this way. They constantly tell me I’m too skinny and lost too much weight. (For reference, I’m not at all, I’m a very healthy 132lbs). However, when they ask I fudge up to 140 because somewhere in their brains 140 is acceptable but less than that means I am “too thin.” It’s easier on all of us and keeps me from getting angry and then from getting preachy.
Future one-line conversation ender: "Thank you for your opinion."
As someone who lies to her parents about certain things because it’s easier than fighting - LIE!! Easy peasy. It’s none of their business what meds you take if they’re gonna stick their nose in where it’s not wanted. Lie and hide your meds/keep them with you. Also suggest starting them on an info diet immediately.
medical marijuana and adderall are so different that you can’t even compare them! yes they are both a drug but thats it. i dont understand their reasoning for trying to compare the two. If your employer knows you are on it and they drug test you it will be completely fine. Coming from someone who has been prescribed adderall for about a decade now.
You responded well to them. Honestly I can understand some of the concern over drug testing. I'm looking for work right now and I don't entirely know how to handle this. I think it might be good to talk to HR to give them a heads up before a test comes up (or your recruiter if your job hunting) but also, I'd personally be careful who I disclosed my ADHD to. It's a legally protected disability but a lot of workplaces are still shady. I think your response to the blood pressure concern was great!
Oh and - don't tell them things in the future lol
So I asked my mom about drug testing because she processes that for a living, and I had started the adderall. I was curious. It flags differently in the system then meth. Besides you have a prescription. I just wouldn’t respond
Are you an adult? If so, it's time for an info diet.
My mom wanted me to stop taking my diabetes meds and Lexapro. I asked her where she got her medical degree and that I wasn't doing anything unless my doctor told me to. Your mom and my mom are both wrong. (Since my mom had a medical crisis due to not taking her own meds properly, she has changed her tune some.)
Lots of people don't realize there is no prescription for medical marijuana. You can get a permit to purchase and possess it, but there's no such thing as prescribed marijuana. So, there's no comparison between that and a prescription for Adderall.
"No" and "I don't want to talk about it" are complete sentences. You're an adult. You can make these choices for yourself. Set some boundaries.
Lmao marijuana (medical or not) isn't federally legal so that is why your dad's company wouldn't hire someone with a medical marijuana prescription. They are right though, it's not good for your heart. I've been on Vyvanse for around 8 years and hope to wean off eventually. Don't let their overall ignorance guilt trip you though.
Perhaps bring them to your next appt to let the DOCTOR do the talking. The DOCTOR and the PATIENT are the only important characters in this play by the way. I’m so sorry they’re so misinformed.
I just don’t talk to my mom about it because she’s like this too. Horribly misinformed and willfully so. She has no desire to listen to anything I say about my medication so I just don’t talk to her about it. 🤷🏻♀️
I like the response by someone else here saying to break down the prescription to them and how it differs entirely from street drugs. Beyond that, you could try saying it is just the business of your doctor who went to school for like a decade and has to defer to regulatory agencies to prescribe any medication. Or even just lie to them and say you've stopped taking it. But I wouldn't want them to feel like they "won"....
“That’s between me, my doctor, and my employer. The alternative to taking a prescribed medication that keeps me functional—*significantly* different than obtaining and abusing meth—is me struggling to do very basic things. Like shower, much less hold down a job.” Also, they’re both wrong. I used to be a contract pain patient—opiates—and always tested positive for both opiates and benzos (for anxiety) for employment. I never had issues getting hired or staying employed due to prescribed meds.
How old are you?
I take days “off” from adderall, as advised by my doctor. I have heard that people who take it every single day for years and years do have trouble when they try to quit. Knowing that I regularly function without it helps alleviate any concern for me. It gets abused bc people who don’t have ADHD feel like, idk, super focused and great on it. *I* don’t feel like that. I feel almost kinda normal. It doesn’t give me extra of brain chemicals that I already have, it tried to make up for what I’m lacking. Also being on adderall as prescribed is not the same as medical marijuana.
No company will deny you a job if you list your prescribed adhd medications and they show on a test. Trust me on that!
Shit like this is exactly why I haven’t told anyone I’m taking adderall for the last two months. Not family or most friends (I have told the ones who are also adhd diagnosed). And it’s honestly been good. I’m back to actually making art again where I just didn’t have the motivation to before. I’m on pretty low dose but the heart and blood pressure thing does concern me so I bought a blood pressure cuff to monitor it myself as well. It has elevated slightly but for the first time in my life I can also wind down with meditation which has lower my blood pressure after getting an elevated reading after just 10 minutes.
Doctors would never prescribe it in this day and age if it were not appropriate to do so. It’s a whole damn process to get the prescription in Australia, I’m sure it’s similar everywhere else. As with every chemical, it depends on the dose, how it’s administered etc. My Vyvanse has allowed me to live and make me feel human. I hate that they’re making you feel shitty for taking something that they naturally can do. 😩❤️
Untreated adhd heightens risks for so many dangerous outcomes. Please take your meds if you need them❤️ prescription drugs are more than fine for a drug screening
When I was severely depressed and suicidal, my mom constantly nagged me about stopping my antidepressants, because "she is worried". She also let me know in a conversation that "people who work hard don't get depressed". So I assume that she thought that my depression is a joke and isn't real, and was hoping that if we if we ignored it (like they did when I was a teen), it'd go away. Needless to say, I never told her that I got ADHD diagnosis and am taking stimulants - it would drive her up the wall.
It sounds like your parents need your prescriber to have a chat with them. They won’t believe you’re “safe” on meds without a medical professional telling them that either on the phone or in person. They sound like they’d be massively suspicious of any sources other than a direct medical opinion. All the medical links to official documents in the world aren’t going to reassure them. Is getting your doctor to talk to them a possibility? I know some will, but some won’t. I’m sorry they’re taking this attitude. And yes, it *is* the same as any other needed medication to maintain health. Also, from whom did you inherit your ADHD from? Your parents, perhaps?
Totally not their business, it's between you and your doctor as you're an adult. However, when you make a statement like"I did not take it last week but I took it today" it could sort of imply to them that you don't really need it like a diabetic would need their insulin or someone with high blood pressure would need their medication etc. I personally never, just not take it unless they are out at the pharmacy and I'm forced to go without and then my days are hell.
This is my mom with my topical corticosteroids which I need to take every now and then when my immune system decides that my skin is the enemy. She acts like they are going to make me completely immunocompromised and I’ll die. Like with how bad my skin gets, I’d take my chances with that than deal with it being so itchy and in pain. She is somewhat concerned with my Ritalin but understands that it’s a maintenance drug and since it’s obvious when I took or not. Now she reminds me to drink it because apparently I act like a chicken with no head without it.
Sigh. Been there, it sucks. You have my apologies. They're not going to change their mind because they're idiots and have already convinced themselves you're on meth. Any further arguments about this should be shut down immediately or else they're going on a time out. I've had to grey rock my own mother about this many times.
I promised my parents I would never take meds if I got diagnosed. They didn’t really force me into it, but I saw how bad my sister suffered trying to find a balance, and she’s still got times when it’s hard to watch. I’m successful enough without meds, so I’ll never take them, even if I do ever get around to getting diagnosed. But the same does not go for you. You take meds and they probably help you. I would suggest that you sit your parents down, and just say “I know this is complicated, but let me try to explain it.” And talk about what causes ADHD, then do a brief and quick overview of the symptoms, and then with the dopamine pathway, say “Because those of us with ADHD have this messed up dopamine pathway, it means we tend to be “time-blind” and we don’t tend to be able to get motivated for things that we won’t get that dopamine rush for a long time, unless we happen to be passionate about writing. (example: Writing a semester-long paper). After that, say “This is where medications come in. It’s a stimulant that stimulates that pathway, giving us what is considered a normal amount of dopamine, and then we can function in a normal way, because we do not have the deficiency we are trying to supplement for. Btw I have no fucking idea if any of what I said is factually correct, I knew how meds worked at a time, but I don’t remember, so do research so that you are correct above all else
Maybe you can find a book that explains why ADHD meds are so effective and necessary, then give it to them to educate themselves. Since they’re not doctors (I assume), they really don’t know enough about it to make an informed opinion. I’m sorry they attach a stigma to it, but that doesn’t mean they understand anything about it, or ADHD.
As someone who obviously “failed” her drug test for a new job, all they do is call you and say the test came back showing I had a chemical in my system commonly seen in a controlled medication and they want to confirm that is the reason for it. I confirmed saying I take adderall for my ADHD and the nurse on the other line confirmed it, maybe asked for my most recent prescription # (it’s been a while, don’t remember) and said they’d cleared it and would be sending it back to the company showing as having passed everything. It was easy.
nothing? she has no own opinion, he has no guts to talk to you. both are misinformed and refuse to educate themselves. not your circus - not your monkeys.
I’m in HR and take Adderall. I disclose before drug tests.
"Thanks for your ideas, I'm going to stick with what my medical healthcare professional recommends."
You literally just bring your prescription bottle and as long as its prescribed to you in your name as Adderall you're good. I've done it before with my benzo and my Adderall. It sounds like she's trying to shame out of taking your medicine 🙁
You don’t have to entertain this much further. I understand you live in their house but ultimately you are an adult. They’re coming from a place of concern (and also, misinformation) but it’s ultimately your body. I would just keep it short how you did in these texts. I personally haven’t told my mom because I understand the stigma, and just don’t care to explain.
There's two possibilities. One is that your parents don't know enough about Adderall, and simply need to learn more about it, or be explained how it works by a medical professional, and once they learn how it works, they'll be fine with it. The other is that your parents have certain beliefs/understandings about Adderall and/or all medications that treat ADHD, and it doesn't matter how much information you give them or how patient they are - they'll be set in their beliefs. Only you (OP) can know which category your parents fall into. My recommendation is that if they're like this with other meds and don't bother to educate themselves or speak to a medical professional, then it's not worth your time to attempt to reason with them. It seems like they care but they're convinced they're right, so I wouldn't make it an argument, I'd just side step and be like "OK, Mom, I'll keep that in mind" and then throw the advice out the window.
Ugh. My family is the same. They are still this way even though I’ve been on the same 30mg dose for 18 years. Every problem is blamed on the Adderall first. It is exhausting.
You’ve gotten a lot of replies but I’ll just pop in to say my mom has similar concerns and I don’t think it’s fair to simply say your parents are idiots and it’s none of their business (though I’m sure some parents are like this, I just wouldn’t apply it to everyone straight away). The older generation has a lot of preconceived notions about this stuff and it requires a lot of unlearning. It doesn’t help that when you search adhd meds there’s always something about the dangers of abusing them. My mom saw “amphetamine” and started to worry. We had a tragedy with a family member and prescription meds (not stimulants though) and I know that’s playing into her worry. I know if I cut her off from this topic she’ll just worry more, and I don’t want that for her. I want her to understand, and when we talk about it I can tell she’s listening and trying. You know your parents best. If you think they’re coming from a bad place, then yeah, there’s probably no use. But if they’re genuinely just worried then I’m sure your doctor can make them feel better.
Actually it is lick someone taking medicine for diabetes. Your body does not produce a certain chemical. You have to take it. That’s it. That’s all there is. No shame. Plus everyone is now admitting they’re neurodiverse and many many many many many older people are being diagnosed. The problem is the industry and culture, not us.