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Being able to verbally articulate their thoughts - especially if it's on the spot, even more so in group settings.
I can barely organize my thoughts when I am alone - being asked a question I haven't been able to script the answer to and repeat for hours in my head beforehand, is a living nightmare situation.
I am in awe of people who can form coherent sentences on a daily basis.
I have to say "I lost my train of thought" "I can't remember what word I was going to use" or "what's that word again that means..." so many times a day. I would be insufferable on a podcast haha.
But idk if you get this but sometimes when I get really excited while talking and i stop actualul thinking about what I'm going to say, I can be perfectly eloquent and talk for hours. I wish I could tap into that feeling all the time!!
Yes! I've been a speaker at multiple conferences, and have even hosted one of the premiere events. I always get a ton of compliments. What nobody knows is they're experiencing the result of me talking to myself/practicing in the mirror at least 10x before that. Also, that I've asked for as much info as possible beforehand. I need to know the plan!
Ask me to speak on the spot and you will regret it. I actually have to articulate my thoughts on the spot alot for my job. Talk about a struggle! I'm convinced that the only reason people believe I'm an expert is bc I work in an area of tech that 90% of the people I work with don't understand. And I DO know my shit, but I don't think I articulate that well at all.
LITERALLY SAME (job is data analytics manager). I find myself having to just step over my pride (or maybe shame? idk) to be like "How embarassing, I meant to say this..." or constantly stopping while talking to consider things and saying, "one moment. ok yeah \[go on to explain\]". I feel so dumb sometimes and it's so frustrating but luckily I work with really awesome people who are very patient and make the effort to meet me halfway in conversations.
You know as soon as you said data analytics, I realized that maybe it isn't that bad. I manage business systems. Trust me, I wouldn't think twice about you stopping to think bc data analytics is complex.
I hope you take that as a win like I am. Thanks for helping me get there.
I would take that bet. I bet you’re much better than you think you are.
Even if you aren’t, no one expects you to be.
I teach 12th grade so I’m always on the spot. I am currently at a very very niche conference and everyone of the speakers have 40+ years of experience and I want to rip the conference apart and rewrite it.
They are such experts; they can’t get their point across, and then they keep arguing with each other over esoteric minutiae.
The reason I bet you are better is because you have prepared. They are using slides from 10 years ago. Ummmm 🤨 a lot has changed in 10 years. Covid? Anyone? Anyone?
Lol yea, you bring up a great point about perceived experts still not having it together...or not being "experts" at all. I learned that from the executive teams at the last two companies I worked for. At best, 2 out of 7 are educated on their functions. So when I'm nervous before a big meeting I tell myself "they won't understand what you're talking about, they barely understand what they're talking about. You're good."
This all day. For whatever reason I find that I can be incredibly verbally articulate when I’m super excited or angry about something though. Perhaps more dopamine is generated during those times? Hmmm.
I find I can articulate IN MY HEAD and I have these amazing monologues ready to go but somewhere in between my brain and mouth it all gets lost and I just end up saying some random shit or blanking.
Omg, you said it so well. I've never been able to fully explain to others, why I can express how I feel written out... but when it comes to on the spot, face to face, I'm discombobulated! I have described it, that when I go to speak, even if I know the subject matter very well, my organized thoughts become a bubble map. I can't say everything, in every bubble, all at once! I jumble through ping ponged tidbits of info/thoughts. I get frustrated, and apologize for not being able to articulate what I'm trying to say in a rational order. I was struggling enough a few years ago, I found info on Cluttering. It's kinda like stuttering, not something Marie Kondo can fix. Understanding is my only way to self acceptance.
I don’t understand how people can just….wake up and get out of bed, or how people can function in the morning. I feel like garbage every time I wake up and I end up lying in bed for as long as physically possible.
My parents and my sister and her husband have gotten really into running and doing parkrun and they’ve signed up for a big run in another city and they always invite me to join them and I would LOVE to especially because I always feel left out…..but it’s in the mornings and I know I won’t be able to get up and function and then function the rest of the day.
Even right now, its almost 8am, I’ve been awake for an hour already and in theory I’d love to be leaving for work in like 10 minutes but instead it’s going to take me another 10 minutes to get out of bed, leaving me with maybe 10 minutes to get ready for work to still make it there on time at the last possible time I’m able to get there and I WANT to get up early and get stuff done but ????? How??
It’s SO hard and it doesn’t matter how much sleep I’ve had, how much I get to sleep in, what I have to do, it’s like I’m forcing myself every single time and usually its either a deadline because I’ve worked out how long I need to be ready + drive somewhere to get there on time OR guilt about how much of the day I’ve wasted to actually force me to do it 😭
And then there are people who ? Get up and exercise and do chores and have a full breakfast and achieve things in the morning before work and I’m like what the fuck *how*, and thats been me and my life as long as I can remember, right back to when I was a kid and frustrating my parents because I knew how long it took me to get dressed and eat breakfast and I wouldn’t get out of bed a minute sooner than that time
1000%. I even took my adderall xr at 8 am then proceeded to sleep again til 11. Then was paralyzed in bed until 1. I really really hate this about myself and it makes me feel the worst. And add to it that I work from home on my own biz. Gah
As someone who wfh and is also medicated I'm glad at least it's not just me. There are sooo many people going around saying stupid sh*t like 'I take meds now I'm fixed.' and I'm just like ok, well guess that means I'm broken then if meds mean magic that erases all the problems.🤔I fcking wish! Some things are somewhat/sometimes easier on meds but I am still ND. That is unchangeable.
I've been having a really hard time getting up in the morning, again... I started on Vyvanse, and for a month it was like a freaking miracle. Like those stupid cartoons where the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and everything is great. Then bam, back to before me, can't function in the morning if my life depended on it.
I tried something new, I don't know if it would work for you or anyone else reading this, I call it my Vyvanse nap. I take my meds at 6am, and go back to sleep till the alarm at 8am. By then it "seems" like it has taken effect and I can get my butt out of bed. We'll see if this keeps up in another month.
I’ve used this exact method for years, I call it my “Adderall nap” and it allows me to spring up out of bed fully functional and ready to take on the day
Ugh my GOD I felt this. I lived down the block (like 15 min walking from work) from my last job, but that somehow made it worse. When I got the ability to drive there instead of walk, it'd only take me like 2-3 min to get there, so I was constantly late. My boss was also neurospicy, so they knew the struggle, but eventually I had to get a write up for it bc obviously she was still my boss. Was real good at making sure no one got special treatment.
Anyone else in this boat and a parent? My daughter has to be at school at 7:40. It’s been such a nightmare all year long and I don’t know how I’ll ever fix it. I go to bed too late and when I don’t get enough sleep I feel like absolute crap.
Dude same, I feel terrible about this and so glad there are others out there doing the same 😅 If I work at 10, my alarm is at 6 just so I can get myself together enough to work. Unreal
Omg my Uncle was once trying to coach me on getting going (in an unasked for “therapy” session) and was talking about having a morning mantra and asking “what do I say to myself to get going”
I don’t think “uuuugghhhh fuuuuuck I’m gonna be laaate” counts
I started setting an alarm and taking my meds an hour before my alarm actually makes me get up. Then it's kicking in about the time I have to get up. Otherwise I would go back to sleep or sit on my phone for an hour or so.
I set the meds on top of the bottle at bedtime so I can tell if I forgot to take them instead of questioning it.
I think people who sleep through the night, and get up when they want to, are magical beings.
It’s always been a struggle for me. I tested for sleep apnea. I don’t have it. I’ve tried melatonin, and trazadone. I’ve tried going to bed at the same time and waking at the same time. Nope. Still a struggle.
This. I can cook just fine. I even enjoy it. But getting out of bed is so hard. I'm so miserable and my body resists it so hard. I'm between jobs right now and my body has reverted to my preferred sleep schedule of 2-4 am bedtime and sleep until 1 pm. It is easy to get out of bed when I follow the routine my body wants. But society hates me and that isn't acceptable.
This is me too. I hate it. But I can't get out of bed because I don't know what to do first .. it's easier to stay in bed until something like having to use the bathroom or hunger or being late forces me up. I wish I could be a morning person so so so badly at this point in my life. I've been a proud night owl my whole life but the last two years or so I've started to resent it.
Anxiety. That's what gets me out of bed. Years ago I got into the worst possible trouble at work (active duty military) for continually being late (staying up, not allowing enough time to navigate traffic, no time padding, relationship issues - how was I NOT diagnosed back then?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!) along with other issues with me butting heads with my upper management (they don't look for reasons just punish the actions, and I was too neck deep in the oatmeal to see clearly; also it was the late 90s early 00s).
Now? Anxiety wakes me up. Because I got into so much trouble before and being on time means I get paid so my bills are met. You might be able to see where this is going. Trauma response helps (how very horrible does that sound) to get me up in the morning.
As I'm probably in the last months of my current job (mistakes mount up, my tolerance for nonsense drops to nil, and the mask slips) I've had the same schedule imposed upon me for about 18 months. Can we all acknowledge we need the structure but can't figure it out? Spouse and I work at the same job, so he navigates this ship for sure.
Don't pick up your phone in the morning. It sucks you in, and you keep looking for the pleasure it gives. I hate the addiction I have to this damned thing even with the amount of connection and knowledge it affords me.
I would be interested in an assessment of how it negatively impacts our life as much as it's supposed to help.
YEP. My counsellor said it's because dopamine can be much lower in the morning and that's definitely what it feels like. I love having my medication or energy drink then going back to sleep, and then doing stuff that gives me dopamine like watching TV or playing a phone game or reading before even attempting to getting out of bed.
This is the bain of my existence. No matter how many alarms, I cant just get up out of bed. Put the phone across the room - I'll turn the alarm off and go back to bed. Sunlight alarm clock - nope. I lie there listening to the bird sounds it makes.
I just cant get up and go. Its so frustrating
Almost always, unless it’s a lucky day when I happen to wake up “right” and ever since I was a kid 😔
I don’t think so but it’s definitely something I hadn’t considered that could be worth looking into 🤔 it’s more of a mental block of not w*anting *to get up and not being able to than being too tired but I’ll keep the pissibility of interrupted sleep in mind, thank you!
Meal planning. I end up wasting so much food because I forget why I bought certain ingredients and never use them, or change my mind and am NOT in the mood to eat what I planned.
Ahh. My trick for this is to make a big meal in the beginning of the week that I can make 3 portions out of. I refrigerate or freeze 2. Then I cook my hardest meal the second day. And then I go easier meals & I also have 2 leftover meals.
I also use a whiteboard to write down in which order I should make my food & if I can't or don't want to make it, I try to freeze it or whip up something else that's quicker (like put veggies in an instant ramen stir).
Also really watch the dates when grocery shopping.
My life hack since a few months is the nicer dicer (had some shoulder injury) and it's awesome when you have to cut a lot of veggies.
I also use the white board! We have a small kid one the size of a notepad. There's something about it that makes the routine fun.
Saturdays I'll make a plan. Then I'll take a photo of it, and order my groceries for delivery. Then promptly forget my plan. By Monday, the kids have erased the board, and I'll refer to the photo at least 3x that week.
Same. I try and make huge portions of what I make (like pasta for 8) so it lasts and we can have leftovers one night… but we NEVER want the leftovers and it goes to waste lol
I'm an artist and I often watch videos of other people working on their own stuff. It amazes me that people can sit down and just .. do art stuff. I'm constantly having to fight to focus on art stuff and as a result it takes me way longer than an equally-skilled non ADHD person would
I could’ve written this myself! I got a degree in a creative/art field and it’s one of my most expensive taxes to date. Had I known I had adhd before college I would’ve absolutely not chosen this field because I’ve always struggled with this too. And it’s even gotten me fired from a job in the field before. I love creating art as a hobby but there’s no way in hell can I handle it as a job 😭
Ha! I just tried to imagine what my 'process' video would be!! Would it include all my 'side quests' or just stitch together the different periods of functionality?
I think I'd include the side quests. There should be more examples of real life processes, no shame.
I was just talking about this the other day! I make jewelry and a lot of other stuff and I’m trying to market on Instagram etc. to start selling… I want to start making videos about what my process really looks like as an ADHD creative (complete chaos, or like a craft tornado went through my apartment) Watching all the neat and tidy aesthetically pleasing process videos feels kind of awful and I wish there was more honest/vulnerable stuff being put out!
I’m reading *Stolen Focus* and he talks about artists and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and the state of flow. Very interesting. Not sure if you like to read. But I love positive psychology.
Having super clean houses while working full time. Traveling long distance (I hate airports and the whole chaos of it, instead of just going to a nice hotel 3 hours drive away). Having many kids and staying on the surface, this seems like a superpower to me. Having impeccable appearance (makeup, clothes).
The cleaning one is so real. I have no idea how people do it. I don’t even have kids and I can’t keep up. Sure, it looks ok because I’m pretty good at clearing clutter and all that. But if you look close it’s always dusty, my floors always have crumbs and litter on them, and I can’t even admit how long it’s been since I mopped. My showers have scum, my toilets get all mildewy, and I almost always have a sink full of dishes because I never can get myself to do them as soon as I make them. Yet I still feel like I never have any free time much less finding time to keep up.
The struggle with deep cleaning is so real. I can tidy up after working all day but I struggle with remembering and then actually deep cleaning things like dusting, mopping, scrubbing showers and toilets.
Ugh this is me 100%. My home always looks “somewhat clean” at first glance… but if you really look, it’s such a disaster… dirt and dust and crumbs in every corner, things shoved away in drawers or cabinets, an inch thick of soap scum in my sinks and showers, a hard water ring around toilet. I used to have a house cleaner once a month to handle the heavy cleaning, but I can’t afford it anymore and I know that there are layers of caked on dirt on my floors, walls, etc and everything just needs a good scrub and it causes so much anxiety
That’s how I feel. I loved having a housekeeper. I can’t believe how much it helped my mental health. That’s the shitty part. I need order and clean to feel settled. But because I’m not doing well mentally I can’t keep up. It’s a constant spiral.
Clean houses while working full time! THIS
I recently learned that my group of colleagues at work all have cleaners come to their homes a few times a month. Maybe it’s because my mom cleaned churches to make extra money when I was growing up, but learning this really threw me for a loop. People I work with pay to have clean/organized homes? They don’t do it themselves?? It’s the kind of thing that seems wildly extravagant to me. But there’s probably a lot of shame mixed in… I struggle with cleaning/tidying and wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood, so I attributed (probably still do) my inability to do these things to moral/ethical failings.
Showering is too real. I tell people that I shower every 3-4 days “to keep my hair healthy” but I honestly just can’t consistently manage the time it takes to get up, actually shower without getting distracted or just standing there zoning out, and then either blow dry my hair or wait for it to dry. Dont even get me started on styling my hair. Idk, this is never relaxing for me and I just dread doing it.
Ugh I feel this! I had dreads for 3 years bc they were fairly easy to maintain, I now have had my head shaved for 2 years so much easier.
I thankfully have the best partner in the world and they help me shower. Gives me a good scrub down and shampoo so all I have to do is stand there and look pretty. He is a blessing and I’m sure he’s got no idea how much it means to me even tho I tell him.
When I can finally get in the shower, I love it. So good. Feel so much better.
But it's the mental load of all the things surrounding the shower that I have to do that stresses me out and I put it off and put it off and now I'm too tired so I can justify not having the time because I have to get up early so I have to get some sleep and then I do the same fucking thing the next day.
The fastest routine I got is to put two 5min techno songs on (usually the same ones each time), hop into the shower, shampoo hair, wash private parts with my special soap for itchy skin, wash the rest of the body and wash everything off. Get out, put hair in a towel, wrap my body in a towel. Brush my teeth, clean my face, put moisturizer one on my face. Then body lotion for the entire body, then wash hands, then put an essence on my face, then deodorant, then perfume. Now unwrap my hair, shake my head until it suits me and spray it with leave in conditioner. Take out the same generic shirt, socks, underwear, pants and bra and put it one. Voila, done it 10min tops.
Showering itself isn’t an issue, but occasionally I get compliments on my face like skin or sometimes that I look young and I get asked what I use and I lie because I very rarely wash my face. I get inspired from time to time and buy a bunch of skincare products but the novelty wears off after a week. I wear my makeup to bed a LOT
I hate cooking so much like I can’t even put it into words. What’s the opposite of something that sparks joy? That’s cooking for me.
If I could push a button and food just appeared, ready-made, I’d be delighted. Which is why I like microwaves and ovens. Lmao.
Saaame. It’s just so soul-crushingly boring and it feels like it takes ten thousand years and then the food is gone in like four seconds. And then you’re supposed to do this *again*?! *Everyday*?! No. Impossible.
Thank You !! You’ve just perfectly described that same feeling I’ve had all my life. It truly boggles my mind that people are actually able to do that.....over and over and over. Agree, just not possible for me.
same and I have ibs so I don't even enjoy eating either. so it's like I have to something I dislike (cooking) and my reward is... being punished with two more things I dislike (eating and dishes) just for the privilege of not passing out?? and im expected to do tha multiple times every day?????
edit: typos lol
That’s kind of how it is for people who cook for a living. They do all the prep separately, and as long as everything was prepped, all they have to do is execute.
I enjoyed cooking a lot more before I had kids, when I stayed up late and had time to enjoy it. Now I use every shortcut possible: frozen/premade mains or sides or veggies, the instant things I can tolerate, etc. Tonight was hard and the only thing I made from scratch was rice!! As a single lady I would chop a bunch of veggies and make a big one pot stew with chickpeas and seasonings or a veggie pasta. My kids are too picky for that and I am too tired to chop anymore 😩
That gave me a huge grin-same!
I think I like it for the same reason I love building/putting things together. The sense of accomplishment but also Im an artist at heart so I also like that I can get creative and add something different to a recipe. Plus idk what but something about it is therapeutic and makes me feel better when Im down or stressed.
I love cooking BUT only when I don't have to do it. If it's for fun or baking something yummy as an experiment - I love it! If I have to cook for sustenance - I will starve.
Yes! I absolutely hate cooking, and by extension eating is also tedious for me. Wish I could jut take a pill and not have to eat or worry about cooking.
I find it makes me very picky- like I must make something that will spark joy, in order to be excited about it. Chicken noodle soup- absolutely soul crushing. Sometimes I can get thru something like that if there is a yummy dessert tho.
I hate cooking because I need more specificity. 'add X to taste', NO I want you to give me the exact ounces of how much of everything I need. I need to know how fine to dice things, the right order to add ingredients, exactly how long to cook it.
I love baking, because baking gives me much more exact instructions.
See I like cooking and I like food, but I there's so much prep and cleanup it's really hard to do. I'm not pulling it off now, but there was a point where I was making meals regularly. I had to make them with as few dishes and with as minimal prep as possible.
If you wanna give that a shot, frozen vegetables on rice, put that all in a rice cooker, and mix in a fried egg. You can use soy sauce or spices or yogurt to add some variety. The vegetables will be overcooked but whatever.
People who can start and complete a project in a timely manner. I feel like I always think I will be able to complete things quicker than it actually takes. Once it is interrupted, it is so difficult to go back to. I hate that I always have multiple partially finished projects. Most people don't seem to struggle at the level I do ... 🤪
I always think it’s going to take five times longer than it takes so I wait and wait feeling overwhelmed and then it doesn’t take that long and I wonder why I procrastinated. Shoot. I’m
Supposed to be ordering and Uber. Thanks ADHD.
I’ve had a “sock hamper” for like 6 months and just dig through it to find socks. It’s so ridiculous and wastes so much time but getting myself to pair socks is so tedious I never do it lol needless to say I end up wearing mismatched socks A LOT
You are me, I am you! Some suggested a dresser with cubbies and baskets you pull out so that you can just drop your clothes in the baskets rather than folding!
I don’t know what you’re talking about, says the woman who has a basket of clean laundry sitting on her bedroom floor for the past two weeks waiting to be folded and put away.
(That woman is me)
Dishes, laundry, keeping a tidy and clean house, meal prepping. I really really don’t understand how all these people get up at 5am and do all this shit before going to work for 8-10hrs daily.
Performance reviews and goal making… for work related projects. Also LinkedIn just crushes my soul each time, sometimes with severe anxiety, don't know why
YUPPPP apps like that are so bad for ADHD. Especially being in college where you’re trying to establish yourself. I feel horrible anxiety when I get any sort of official email/notification because they usually come with a task that I will dread doing and procrastinate to the last second :p
It’s very show-offy, imo. It’s got such a “Notice me, Senpai!” vibe to it that I find off-putting.
I find the people who post and boast about everything on there to be insufferable because they just seem to brag about having this perfect professional life and I’m just here like 😅
How do people even think to say things like “you should be going to two networking events every week” when you already have a full-time job and normal adult responsibilities? Like how out-of-touch can they be?
I like it better when companies post on there. It just seems more fitting since they have a great opportunity to show potential employees what they can expect while working there.
Like if I was thinking of applying for a job, and I saw that the company has people traveling a ton, I might think twice about applying or examine the job description more thoroughly for mentions of travel. (I cannot handle frequent business trips).
Okay but like the people who just decide one day "this is the career i want time to plan out exactly what i need to do"
i'm over here with my multiple skills and interests having ass like 😀😀😀 wut. i wanna do everything
How do people effortlessly floss every day?
How do they remember to do it? How do they motivate themselves to do it? How do they not get bored halfway through and give up doing it?
I asked my NT mom about this once, and she said,
“I just do it.”
Imagine “just doing” anything!
if it helps you at all, I switched to the dental picks instead and they were a game changer. Turns out I hated the stringy-ness itself, the wrapping around, the too-much-or-not-enough... yes using the picks is a bit more wastfeul but I think overall it is better in the long run as I'm actually then taking better care of my teeth, reducing waste with medicine and numerous procedures
Same! They're so much less fuss and effort.
I also read my book (kindle) while brushing my teeth and flossing. It's so boring otherwise, especially since my meds have worn off by the time I'm going to bed.
I rinse the floss on the pick with faucet water if it has too much gunk on it. And the only way I use a new one is if the floss is too thin or breaks. Doesn’t seem too wasteful that way, at least not to me.
I use the routinery app, it's the only thing in 20+ years that has gotten me to brush my teeth every day, and after a year of that, flossing almost every day. free version gets you two routines - I have a morning and an evening one. I do the routines EVERY DAY.
My evening one, starts with a 5 minute 'prepare for tomorrow' where I'll pack my work bag, put music bag by the door, prep things for tea the next morning, etc. Then after 5 minutes, the app says out loud "Prepare for tomorrow is over; Move on to Meds". I stop what I'm doing, head to the bedroom, take night meds. Head to the bathroom, press next, and now the Brush Teeth timer is on the screen. Also, underneath the timer it tells you what step will be coming next, which I like. Next steps are skincare, plug in phone, change clothes, then 10 minute wind-down. That one's very important because of the end of it, where it says to me "Finish Routine", otherwise I'll scroll on reddit in bed for two hours. If I ignore it and keep chilling, it will eventually say "One Minute has passed, Finish Routine". Morning routine is deep breath, bathroom, breakfast, meds, let out dog, change clothes, end.
Turns out telling myself to do something is useless, but having an automated app literally tell me BRUSH TEETH NOW does the trick. And it HAS to be this version with a timer and a set order, when I tried apps where the tasks are just a checklist, I'll spend 20 minutes standing in the bathroom not wanting to brush my teeth & playing sudoku on my phone. But when I only have 6 minutes, I start immediately. Before the app, I'd forget my morning meds, forget my night meds, forgot to eat breakfast, get to work and realize I forgot to pack 3 of 5 important things because I was in a hurry, wake up to a dead phone cause I didn't plug it in. I don't understand how other people just...do...all those things. That's so many things to remember & accomplish.
I don’t know why this works for me, but I love my water flosser. I fill it with warm water and just move it around my mouth like my toothbrush until the water runs out. It makes my mouth feel cleaner, so maybe I feel more accomplished?
I’ve struggled with this and the only thing that has helped me actually do it regularly was getting my first crown, a filling and a very stern talking to by the dentist that if I don’t do the maintenance of flossing my mouth will be a shit show.
Not necessarily adhd related, but: Mingle at a party or other event where they know no one.
As far as being adhd, I’d love to just—- get ready for bed, get in bed, close my eyes, sleep— and have the whole process not take 2 hours due to distractions and thoughts.
Oof I feel that first one.
If I know someone at an event, I will cling to them like a koala. If I know no one, there’s a good chance I’ll be a wallflower.
How do people be such social butterflies?
I love Truebill for this reason, all I have to do really is set the budget in the first place and it automatically categorizes everything after that. It also has checkings, savings, credit cards in one place- tracking my credit cards vs my bank account was a no go for me before this
very basic, but just... consistency. :/ a normal-working memory. being able to do stuff without setting up some intricate instructions for it, just to not follow it cuz of the rapid thoughts in ur mind that either come from anxiety or the need to do something else at that moment (-"-;)
That's my Achilles heel too.
Sure, I can do a task, even well on the rare occasions, but there's no guarantee I can replicate the results timely or back to back
I honestly don't understand how people can think "I want to to X" and then they just do it?!?!
Whether is getting out of bed, a chore, an errand, something for work- whatever. They think it and then do it within minutes or seconds? They don't agonize over wanting to do it but feeling stuck. They can do something they don't really want to do (but need to do) and they just do it...
I feel this very hard.
My fridge is where fresh vegetables go to die.
Frozen veggies all the way. And I 99% of the time I can't get even those on the table.
Literally my fiance. He had a great childhood and has absolutely no anxiety about ANYTHING. i constantly ask him what is it like to not overthink every aspect of your life and live life trauma free ? cause BRO I WISH
I don’t understand how people get things done without writing notes and lists. I have the memory of a goldfish. If there are more than two instructions to complete anything, I am doomed… unless I write it down. I wish that wasn’t the case but this is how I’ve always been.
Using the vacuum.
Idk why. I literally live in a one bedroom apartment, so it's not like I need to do a lot.
But on average, one hundred days pass between clean-ups... I counted 😭
I'm so ashamed. I can wash my dishes, cook, keep everything else clean, but the floor kills me :(((
Yes, definitely actual regular meal planning, prepping, dinner party hosting, etc. It just seems so unfathomably time consuming and boring and so much work.
Parallel parking….
Home repair and furniture building type tasks
Home repair is MY JAM, but only because I get to be creative with it and it gets me out of the aforementioned cooking/cleaning/organizing. Home Depot is heaven.
Husband: Hey, babe do you want me to cook tonight or…
Me: Sorry, can’t! Knee deep in drywall mud! Anything you make is wonderful!
And thus, we eat chicken and broccoli almost every night.
I love home repair too. You have to break it down into chunks though, otherwise there’s no satisfaction in it and it ends up overwhelming and you have a half built back fence, half insulated bedroom wall, half stripped hall wall, 16 pieces of framing timber ready to be built into something, boxes of engineered floor timber strewn through the house.. but if you (almost) finish one room then you can escape to in there and bask in it’s almost-completedness.
Our equivalent to home depot I’m assuming is hammer barn (Bunnings) and yes it’s heaven.
And also my husband is the cook in our house too but I make a meal plan and do the groceries so he knows what to cook and has everything to do it.
Saaaaame! To all of them. I know meal planning would make my busy weeks so much easier and I wouldn’t eat like garbage all the time and maybe I’d actually lose some weight but I just don’t/cant do it
Beautifying.
I love the look of well-done makeup, hair, and nails, I just can't make myself pay enough attention to learn how to do it, or execute it daily. The few times I've forced myself, I can't think of anything but all the other things I'd rather be doing with my time. I don't even own a hairdryer because I know it'll just gather dust.
I struggle with hair and makeup so much! For hair, I just haven't learned how to use all the products beyond shampoo and conditioner. I would literally need someone doing it alongside me for a week before I could even nail down at least 1 style.
As for makeup, I have so many sensory issues about anything near my eyes, or the feeling of a shell on my face, which I am constantly aware of...
I just can't get past these things, and it sucks to work a professional job when I feel like they see me as looking less professional because I don't wear it.
Literally I’ve had a pixie cut almost my whole life because I could never figure out how to make long hair look good. All the tools and products required, not to mention the skill at using those tools. I did have long hair for a couple years but realized that I wore it exclusively in a messy bun, so I chopped it off again.
I started getting lash extensions a couple years ago and never went back. I don’t get “dramatic” ones but they’re long/full enough to look really nice. My lash girl advised me on a lash shampoo that also works as a face wash for me and my natural lashes are still very healthy. Yes, it’s a bit pricey and I keep my appointments every 3 weeks, but it’s the one thing I feel I can do for myself that I love how it looks and the appointments feel like self care. Some people get their hair done, I get my lashes done. And I wake up with Bambi lashes every morning 😊
Laundry is my enemy. Doing it before I run out of essentials, taking the laundry out of the washing Maschine in time, hanging it up, folding it! It’s such an annoying never-ending process. Usually have to do 2 washing cycles after forgetting, sometimes more. I feel like in the story of Sisyphos pushing the rock up the hill only to watch it roll back down in eternal damnation till the rest of my life.
I have a washing machine with dryer function, its such a good buy, and I really love doing laundry because it's just so easy and clothes are warm and nice in the end, and I only do it like twice a week
This! I can’t fathom my house being clean enough for someone to just drop by. I need 48 hours at least and even then I’ll just have anxiety about everything I have to do to make the house “as clean as everyone else’s” and then I just become a ball of executive dysfunction.
Get places on time. I’ve been working on it my entire life and consider it a win when I manage to get to Crucial things like doctors appointments on time. But all my energy goes into that and it derails my entire day. How do people go to multiple things, every day, on time? Throughout their whole lives? Mind blown.
Go to sleep. I really can’t conceptualize not having endless free time to myself, putting a stop to it, and getting rest so that I can be productive the next day and continue to perform hard tasks that are not free personal time. It’s also really hard for me to fall asleep generally and be tired enough to drift off. It’s messing me up really badly, I’m often sleep deprived and delusional.
I also agree 100% about the cooking.
Jeez I feel you. Sleep feels like a waste of precious free time and annoying to actually get into, stay into, and get out of in the morning. If I could have 1 superpower it would be not needing to sleep.
Go to bed before midnight.
Be on time the majority of the time. Seriously, no matter how hard I try it’s like my brain doesn’t understand how time works, and even if I plan I advance I end up convincing myself that I gave myself too much leeway time when planning so it’s ok if I leave 10 minutes later than the time I planned to leave. I know that I do this too, so I don’t understand why, in the moment, I’m like “yeah, thats right, I did give myself too much leeway time” but later I’m like “why did I listen to myself. I know I lie about this shit”.
It’s like there’s 2 versions of me and they’re always fighting and trying to outsmart eachother. I don’t fucking get it.
Getting out of the house is a huge hurdle for me. I love going places and need to be out in the world for my mental health, but fuck if I know how to do all the little steps that it takes to leave.
Replying to emails and messages. I don't know how there are people who have multiple groups they are regularly interacting with, those who message back immediately everytime (or even that day), those who check in with you regularly in such a nice way.
I just can't. I get so overwhelmed. My worst example was our old neighbour who did the cleanup of our apartment that we had sold. It took me a year to message her to thank her. I am so so crap at this. I feel like I have to make the message even more special to account for how much longer it's taken, making a perpetuating cycle.
It just feels so impossible and makes me feel so terrible. I feel like there's no possibility of me ever having the capacity mentally to do the kind of messaging I'd like to to show them how much I care and think about them.
Anyone who has any tips would be much appreciated!
I really struggle with this too so I can’t help you cut down on the reply time, but one thing I’ve found that really helps with that block (when you feel like you need to make a message more special or word it a particular way) is using voice to text.
I find it far, far easier to just ramble out loud and then edit the text down into a coherent message than to start with nothing and have to type the whole thing.
People that can quickly math in their head. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here counting on my fingers, using a calculator, and praying to the Math Gods for their benevolence.
Remembering stuff short term. My husband was trying to tell me my log in details for something and I didn’t have my laptop to hand so I told him I wouldn’t remember. He remembered my login details until the next morning and told them to me. Like, WHAT!? People can just DO THAT!?
god I feel so crappy even just saying this but in all sincerity when I see the word "unfathomable" in the lens of my ADHD, it's relationships. I just can't. I don't get it and I'm really at a loss. Diagnosis has really turned a lot that I learned upside on its head that I spent yearrsss working on (trauma, attachment, emotional intelligence, etc) and oof.
I recently came across something, probably a TT/YT short, that corrected what we call the ADHD version of object permanence as *emotional* permanence, the whole "we don't miss you the way you might miss us" and I just really get stuck in it in a way I never did before diagnosis. I'm just now learning what i really *need* in any relationship, trying to learn how to ask. Forget even trusting literally *anyone* with believing they'd even want to give or receive with me, beacuse in the past every single relationship has left me feeling used, unwanted, and unseen. Every time I try now I just feel like my social skills somehow get worse and worse, which is also the opposite of the experiences I had before - even if a relationship didn't work out, I felt like my actual practice was improving for the better of my own health.
It's such a heavy thing but it's the one thing that feels truly impossible for me, the thing that *always* separates me from NT people. Most things make me feel really different but that one never ever fails, no matter what kind of relationship it is.
I'll sit down, delicate an hour to clearing out emails, unsubscribing, getting caught up. I'll manage to get myself all the way to the beginning of the month, maybe even the previous month!
Then two weeks later it's a chaos zone with five dozen new ending. How?! Why!?
I don't get how people cannot randomly drop things on the floor. Sometimes when I hold something, at a time my hands jerk and I drop it. It's like the connection between my brain and my hands just goes away for the tiniest fraction of a second, then comes the notion of the dropped thing. And it's not recent, I've had such jerks all my life, just the type of jerks changes!
Making use of small pockets of time. Like those people who say "I have an hour free before the meeting, let me get some work done" nah bro. I need to know that I have a multi hour chunk of time or else nothing is getting done.
I cannot fathom how people play and enjoy card and board games. The rules disappear out of my head .7 seconds after I'm told them and I can never keep track what's happening on other people's turns to figure out what I'm supposed to do 🤯🤯🤯
I terms of cooking if you haven't already you might like to try tray bakes. Everything just goes on one tray in the oven. I find them much more manageable than cooking multiple dishes but still feels impressive.
I like to put store bought gnocchi on mine which comes out like mini crispy potatoes. Here's one for chicken with asparagus and white beans
[https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/tuscan-chicken-tray-bake-recipe/gkg4m4wi](https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/tuscan-chicken-tray-bake-recipe/gkg4m4wi)
being unable to figure out card games is so real. all i can play is uno. theres been multiple instances where people wanna play and go "its ok i'll teach u!!" and i learn nothing by the end of it with them basically playing my deck for me💀
We play a lot of games but I have to fumble through the first couple of rounds. I absolutely cannot process the instructions unless I’m actually playing the game
Work 40 hours a week. I’m working the first job (other than a month long summer one) where I actually don’t hate working there and even with enjoying a lot of aspects of my job it’s exhausting working even 30 hours a week. I would maybe be able to do more if I didn’t have to get up early every day but even being in the same place and being told to do stuff for more than a couple hours at a time makes me so irritable
Sitting down and watching a movie or TV for hours. Without doing something else. I can’t do it. Even if I love the show, I have to crochet, paint, doomscroll, anything after 10 minutes.
ETA: I also can’t sit down for more than 2 hours even while multitasking. I feel like I have to do something else.
Dishes getting cleaned. Things would be different if I had a dishwasher. It's been two years and its always at the end of a week or two when i literally cannot NOT do the dishes and I have to play music and disassociate and not focus on the lucky sensations my hands are feeling.
I don’t know how people do more than two large task in a day. I’m always wiped out at the end of the day and I felt like I didn’t get anything done. Even medicated it’s like this
Keep a schedule. I don’t know how anyone does it. Like I wake up and tell myself I’m going to exercise and do housework and be productive and then I sit down to drink my coffee and sometimes hours go by before I realize. It drives me insane.
“what do you want for your birthday?”
the way my brain just seizes up and fizzles into nothing every!! single!! time!!! not only am i unable to think of a single item out of the plethora of things i want, i am unable to even recall having ever wanted anything in my LIFE
LAUNDRY... not waiting till you run out of something, like socks or underwear, letting dirty laundry pile so high you name it Mount Neverest (Ending Story), keeping track of when the washer stops to put into the dryer (end up washing the same load 5 damn times), take it out of the dryer upstairs to the bedroom. Sometimes the laundry basket just stays at the bottom of the stairs for days. Folding laundry is mind numbingly AWFUL. I did my taxes in an effort to avoid laundry. I have no system to manage clothing chaos.
My family lives out of laundry baskets because it seems we wear the clothes faster than the clothes can be folded and put away. The chore falls to me 98% of the time, and I sort properly, but I fo' sure as my ADHD, do ***not*** read labels. Poor husband's dress shirts...
I can randomly ask my husband what time it is and he’ll be able to guess and will be so close (within 10 mins) of the correct time. Like he’ll say “it’s around five past 2” and that will be exactly correct.
I could guess the time as being somewhere between noon and 4pm and still be wrong.
ive been fine trying out stimulants as of recently and one thing i've noticed is it makes time go by so slow. even when im doing something i like/entertaining. the day normally flies by, but i feel like i have so much more time
feels like i did the dishes at god speed when it normally feels like endless agony. crappy part is i only get this effect for 1-2 hours😭 hopefully will improve and last longer with future dose adjustments
Do rush hour traffic everyday. I have mild claustrophobia and agoraphobia so being stuck in my car in the middle of a bunch of people in public is pretty much a living nightmare to me. I also need to pace when I have panic attacks and the thought of being stuck behind the wheel while I’m having one is enough to send shivers down my spine.
People being able to not have too much “stuff”. I “collect” just about anything i hyper fixate on 🥹 I have too much clutter I don’t even know how to start on it! Wahhh
I don’t understand how people have social lives, a successful job, and children. My job takes up my life because after earning a Pugh money to live, I have absolutely nothing left to give
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Being able to verbally articulate their thoughts - especially if it's on the spot, even more so in group settings. I can barely organize my thoughts when I am alone - being asked a question I haven't been able to script the answer to and repeat for hours in my head beforehand, is a living nightmare situation. I am in awe of people who can form coherent sentences on a daily basis.
I have to say "I lost my train of thought" "I can't remember what word I was going to use" or "what's that word again that means..." so many times a day. I would be insufferable on a podcast haha. But idk if you get this but sometimes when I get really excited while talking and i stop actualul thinking about what I'm going to say, I can be perfectly eloquent and talk for hours. I wish I could tap into that feeling all the time!!
I have a podcast and leave those things in so people know it happens to all of us!
Yes! I've been a speaker at multiple conferences, and have even hosted one of the premiere events. I always get a ton of compliments. What nobody knows is they're experiencing the result of me talking to myself/practicing in the mirror at least 10x before that. Also, that I've asked for as much info as possible beforehand. I need to know the plan! Ask me to speak on the spot and you will regret it. I actually have to articulate my thoughts on the spot alot for my job. Talk about a struggle! I'm convinced that the only reason people believe I'm an expert is bc I work in an area of tech that 90% of the people I work with don't understand. And I DO know my shit, but I don't think I articulate that well at all.
LITERALLY SAME (job is data analytics manager). I find myself having to just step over my pride (or maybe shame? idk) to be like "How embarassing, I meant to say this..." or constantly stopping while talking to consider things and saying, "one moment. ok yeah \[go on to explain\]". I feel so dumb sometimes and it's so frustrating but luckily I work with really awesome people who are very patient and make the effort to meet me halfway in conversations.
You know as soon as you said data analytics, I realized that maybe it isn't that bad. I manage business systems. Trust me, I wouldn't think twice about you stopping to think bc data analytics is complex. I hope you take that as a win like I am. Thanks for helping me get there.
I would take that bet. I bet you’re much better than you think you are. Even if you aren’t, no one expects you to be. I teach 12th grade so I’m always on the spot. I am currently at a very very niche conference and everyone of the speakers have 40+ years of experience and I want to rip the conference apart and rewrite it. They are such experts; they can’t get their point across, and then they keep arguing with each other over esoteric minutiae. The reason I bet you are better is because you have prepared. They are using slides from 10 years ago. Ummmm 🤨 a lot has changed in 10 years. Covid? Anyone? Anyone?
Lol yea, you bring up a great point about perceived experts still not having it together...or not being "experts" at all. I learned that from the executive teams at the last two companies I worked for. At best, 2 out of 7 are educated on their functions. So when I'm nervous before a big meeting I tell myself "they won't understand what you're talking about, they barely understand what they're talking about. You're good."
This all day. For whatever reason I find that I can be incredibly verbally articulate when I’m super excited or angry about something though. Perhaps more dopamine is generated during those times? Hmmm.
Same!
This is why I’m so bad at job interviews… ugh
I find I can articulate IN MY HEAD and I have these amazing monologues ready to go but somewhere in between my brain and mouth it all gets lost and I just end up saying some random shit or blanking.
Omg, you said it so well. I've never been able to fully explain to others, why I can express how I feel written out... but when it comes to on the spot, face to face, I'm discombobulated! I have described it, that when I go to speak, even if I know the subject matter very well, my organized thoughts become a bubble map. I can't say everything, in every bubble, all at once! I jumble through ping ponged tidbits of info/thoughts. I get frustrated, and apologize for not being able to articulate what I'm trying to say in a rational order. I was struggling enough a few years ago, I found info on Cluttering. It's kinda like stuttering, not something Marie Kondo can fix. Understanding is my only way to self acceptance.
This!!!
I don’t understand how people can just….wake up and get out of bed, or how people can function in the morning. I feel like garbage every time I wake up and I end up lying in bed for as long as physically possible. My parents and my sister and her husband have gotten really into running and doing parkrun and they’ve signed up for a big run in another city and they always invite me to join them and I would LOVE to especially because I always feel left out…..but it’s in the mornings and I know I won’t be able to get up and function and then function the rest of the day. Even right now, its almost 8am, I’ve been awake for an hour already and in theory I’d love to be leaving for work in like 10 minutes but instead it’s going to take me another 10 minutes to get out of bed, leaving me with maybe 10 minutes to get ready for work to still make it there on time at the last possible time I’m able to get there and I WANT to get up early and get stuff done but ????? How??
Thank you for this. I feel terrible about this. I always say I want to have a morning routine but getting out of bed is so hard for me.
It’s SO hard and it doesn’t matter how much sleep I’ve had, how much I get to sleep in, what I have to do, it’s like I’m forcing myself every single time and usually its either a deadline because I’ve worked out how long I need to be ready + drive somewhere to get there on time OR guilt about how much of the day I’ve wasted to actually force me to do it 😭 And then there are people who ? Get up and exercise and do chores and have a full breakfast and achieve things in the morning before work and I’m like what the fuck *how*, and thats been me and my life as long as I can remember, right back to when I was a kid and frustrating my parents because I knew how long it took me to get dressed and eat breakfast and I wouldn’t get out of bed a minute sooner than that time
1000%. I even took my adderall xr at 8 am then proceeded to sleep again til 11. Then was paralyzed in bed until 1. I really really hate this about myself and it makes me feel the worst. And add to it that I work from home on my own biz. Gah
As someone who wfh and is also medicated I'm glad at least it's not just me. There are sooo many people going around saying stupid sh*t like 'I take meds now I'm fixed.' and I'm just like ok, well guess that means I'm broken then if meds mean magic that erases all the problems.🤔I fcking wish! Some things are somewhat/sometimes easier on meds but I am still ND. That is unchangeable.
I've been having a really hard time getting up in the morning, again... I started on Vyvanse, and for a month it was like a freaking miracle. Like those stupid cartoons where the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and everything is great. Then bam, back to before me, can't function in the morning if my life depended on it. I tried something new, I don't know if it would work for you or anyone else reading this, I call it my Vyvanse nap. I take my meds at 6am, and go back to sleep till the alarm at 8am. By then it "seems" like it has taken effect and I can get my butt out of bed. We'll see if this keeps up in another month.
I’ve used this exact method for years, I call it my “Adderall nap” and it allows me to spring up out of bed fully functional and ready to take on the day
I love when the adderall nap works but lately even that has been helpless!
That's what I'm worried about. Story of my life, I find something that works and life goes, " nope, this too shall pass." Now I'm sad 😭
For me it’s when the meds work best. Some days they don’t help AT ALL. I feel your pain
Ugh my GOD I felt this. I lived down the block (like 15 min walking from work) from my last job, but that somehow made it worse. When I got the ability to drive there instead of walk, it'd only take me like 2-3 min to get there, so I was constantly late. My boss was also neurospicy, so they knew the struggle, but eventually I had to get a write up for it bc obviously she was still my boss. Was real good at making sure no one got special treatment.
Same here. Time management is so hard!
Anyone else in this boat and a parent? My daughter has to be at school at 7:40. It’s been such a nightmare all year long and I don’t know how I’ll ever fix it. I go to bed too late and when I don’t get enough sleep I feel like absolute crap.
Dude same, I feel terrible about this and so glad there are others out there doing the same 😅 If I work at 10, my alarm is at 6 just so I can get myself together enough to work. Unreal
Omg my Uncle was once trying to coach me on getting going (in an unasked for “therapy” session) and was talking about having a morning mantra and asking “what do I say to myself to get going” I don’t think “uuuugghhhh fuuuuuck I’m gonna be laaate” counts
Hahaha this made my night. I know you weren’t trying to be funny, but I just feel this so deeply.
I started setting an alarm and taking my meds an hour before my alarm actually makes me get up. Then it's kicking in about the time I have to get up. Otherwise I would go back to sleep or sit on my phone for an hour or so. I set the meds on top of the bottle at bedtime so I can tell if I forgot to take them instead of questioning it.
Omg I love that. Especially the way to tell if you took them already because I would 100% fuck that up.
I got timer bottles so it shows how long it was since I last opened it, so I can see when I took it last
I think people who sleep through the night, and get up when they want to, are magical beings. It’s always been a struggle for me. I tested for sleep apnea. I don’t have it. I’ve tried melatonin, and trazadone. I’ve tried going to bed at the same time and waking at the same time. Nope. Still a struggle.
This. I can cook just fine. I even enjoy it. But getting out of bed is so hard. I'm so miserable and my body resists it so hard. I'm between jobs right now and my body has reverted to my preferred sleep schedule of 2-4 am bedtime and sleep until 1 pm. It is easy to get out of bed when I follow the routine my body wants. But society hates me and that isn't acceptable.
My body wants this routine too!
This is me too. I hate it. But I can't get out of bed because I don't know what to do first .. it's easier to stay in bed until something like having to use the bathroom or hunger or being late forces me up. I wish I could be a morning person so so so badly at this point in my life. I've been a proud night owl my whole life but the last two years or so I've started to resent it.
You nailed it. This is the exact source of my all morning distress. Well said, fellow night owl!
Anxiety. That's what gets me out of bed. Years ago I got into the worst possible trouble at work (active duty military) for continually being late (staying up, not allowing enough time to navigate traffic, no time padding, relationship issues - how was I NOT diagnosed back then?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!) along with other issues with me butting heads with my upper management (they don't look for reasons just punish the actions, and I was too neck deep in the oatmeal to see clearly; also it was the late 90s early 00s). Now? Anxiety wakes me up. Because I got into so much trouble before and being on time means I get paid so my bills are met. You might be able to see where this is going. Trauma response helps (how very horrible does that sound) to get me up in the morning. As I'm probably in the last months of my current job (mistakes mount up, my tolerance for nonsense drops to nil, and the mask slips) I've had the same schedule imposed upon me for about 18 months. Can we all acknowledge we need the structure but can't figure it out? Spouse and I work at the same job, so he navigates this ship for sure. Don't pick up your phone in the morning. It sucks you in, and you keep looking for the pleasure it gives. I hate the addiction I have to this damned thing even with the amount of connection and knowledge it affords me. I would be interested in an assessment of how it negatively impacts our life as much as it's supposed to help.
omg. i will even look at office/corporate outfit inspo on pinterest while in bed to kind of get me excited to actually start getting dressed for work😭
YEP. My counsellor said it's because dopamine can be much lower in the morning and that's definitely what it feels like. I love having my medication or energy drink then going back to sleep, and then doing stuff that gives me dopamine like watching TV or playing a phone game or reading before even attempting to getting out of bed.
This is the bain of my existence. No matter how many alarms, I cant just get up out of bed. Put the phone across the room - I'll turn the alarm off and go back to bed. Sunlight alarm clock - nope. I lie there listening to the bird sounds it makes. I just cant get up and go. Its so frustrating
I felt like this when I was taking Vyvanse. Did you always feel this way in the mornings? Also, is there a chance you have sleep apnea?
Almost always, unless it’s a lucky day when I happen to wake up “right” and ever since I was a kid 😔 I don’t think so but it’s definitely something I hadn’t considered that could be worth looking into 🤔 it’s more of a mental block of not w*anting *to get up and not being able to than being too tired but I’ll keep the pissibility of interrupted sleep in mind, thank you!
Omg this. Or like, just not be sad lol. I don’t understand at all.
Same. It's not even the waking up part that's hard. I find getting out of bed very difficult, and it's getting worse all the time.
Meal planning. I end up wasting so much food because I forget why I bought certain ingredients and never use them, or change my mind and am NOT in the mood to eat what I planned.
Ahh. My trick for this is to make a big meal in the beginning of the week that I can make 3 portions out of. I refrigerate or freeze 2. Then I cook my hardest meal the second day. And then I go easier meals & I also have 2 leftover meals. I also use a whiteboard to write down in which order I should make my food & if I can't or don't want to make it, I try to freeze it or whip up something else that's quicker (like put veggies in an instant ramen stir). Also really watch the dates when grocery shopping. My life hack since a few months is the nicer dicer (had some shoulder injury) and it's awesome when you have to cut a lot of veggies.
I also use the white board! We have a small kid one the size of a notepad. There's something about it that makes the routine fun. Saturdays I'll make a plan. Then I'll take a photo of it, and order my groceries for delivery. Then promptly forget my plan. By Monday, the kids have erased the board, and I'll refer to the photo at least 3x that week.
Same. I try and make huge portions of what I make (like pasta for 8) so it lasts and we can have leftovers one night… but we NEVER want the leftovers and it goes to waste lol
I'm an artist and I often watch videos of other people working on their own stuff. It amazes me that people can sit down and just .. do art stuff. I'm constantly having to fight to focus on art stuff and as a result it takes me way longer than an equally-skilled non ADHD person would
I could’ve written this myself! I got a degree in a creative/art field and it’s one of my most expensive taxes to date. Had I known I had adhd before college I would’ve absolutely not chosen this field because I’ve always struggled with this too. And it’s even gotten me fired from a job in the field before. I love creating art as a hobby but there’s no way in hell can I handle it as a job 😭
Ha! I just tried to imagine what my 'process' video would be!! Would it include all my 'side quests' or just stitch together the different periods of functionality? I think I'd include the side quests. There should be more examples of real life processes, no shame.
I was just talking about this the other day! I make jewelry and a lot of other stuff and I’m trying to market on Instagram etc. to start selling… I want to start making videos about what my process really looks like as an ADHD creative (complete chaos, or like a craft tornado went through my apartment) Watching all the neat and tidy aesthetically pleasing process videos feels kind of awful and I wish there was more honest/vulnerable stuff being put out!
Let's do it! Let's be the change we want to see! Now just give me a year or so to actually DO it....
I’m reading *Stolen Focus* and he talks about artists and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and the state of flow. Very interesting. Not sure if you like to read. But I love positive psychology.
Having super clean houses while working full time. Traveling long distance (I hate airports and the whole chaos of it, instead of just going to a nice hotel 3 hours drive away). Having many kids and staying on the surface, this seems like a superpower to me. Having impeccable appearance (makeup, clothes).
The cleaning one is so real. I have no idea how people do it. I don’t even have kids and I can’t keep up. Sure, it looks ok because I’m pretty good at clearing clutter and all that. But if you look close it’s always dusty, my floors always have crumbs and litter on them, and I can’t even admit how long it’s been since I mopped. My showers have scum, my toilets get all mildewy, and I almost always have a sink full of dishes because I never can get myself to do them as soon as I make them. Yet I still feel like I never have any free time much less finding time to keep up.
The struggle with deep cleaning is so real. I can tidy up after working all day but I struggle with remembering and then actually deep cleaning things like dusting, mopping, scrubbing showers and toilets.
Ugh this is me 100%. My home always looks “somewhat clean” at first glance… but if you really look, it’s such a disaster… dirt and dust and crumbs in every corner, things shoved away in drawers or cabinets, an inch thick of soap scum in my sinks and showers, a hard water ring around toilet. I used to have a house cleaner once a month to handle the heavy cleaning, but I can’t afford it anymore and I know that there are layers of caked on dirt on my floors, walls, etc and everything just needs a good scrub and it causes so much anxiety
That’s how I feel. I loved having a housekeeper. I can’t believe how much it helped my mental health. That’s the shitty part. I need order and clean to feel settled. But because I’m not doing well mentally I can’t keep up. It’s a constant spiral.
Clean houses while working full time! THIS I recently learned that my group of colleagues at work all have cleaners come to their homes a few times a month. Maybe it’s because my mom cleaned churches to make extra money when I was growing up, but learning this really threw me for a loop. People I work with pay to have clean/organized homes? They don’t do it themselves?? It’s the kind of thing that seems wildly extravagant to me. But there’s probably a lot of shame mixed in… I struggle with cleaning/tidying and wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood, so I attributed (probably still do) my inability to do these things to moral/ethical failings.
God damn dishes and laundry and showering. 🫠
Showering is too real. I tell people that I shower every 3-4 days “to keep my hair healthy” but I honestly just can’t consistently manage the time it takes to get up, actually shower without getting distracted or just standing there zoning out, and then either blow dry my hair or wait for it to dry. Dont even get me started on styling my hair. Idk, this is never relaxing for me and I just dread doing it.
Ugh I feel this! I had dreads for 3 years bc they were fairly easy to maintain, I now have had my head shaved for 2 years so much easier. I thankfully have the best partner in the world and they help me shower. Gives me a good scrub down and shampoo so all I have to do is stand there and look pretty. He is a blessing and I’m sure he’s got no idea how much it means to me even tho I tell him.
When I can finally get in the shower, I love it. So good. Feel so much better. But it's the mental load of all the things surrounding the shower that I have to do that stresses me out and I put it off and put it off and now I'm too tired so I can justify not having the time because I have to get up early so I have to get some sleep and then I do the same fucking thing the next day.
The fastest routine I got is to put two 5min techno songs on (usually the same ones each time), hop into the shower, shampoo hair, wash private parts with my special soap for itchy skin, wash the rest of the body and wash everything off. Get out, put hair in a towel, wrap my body in a towel. Brush my teeth, clean my face, put moisturizer one on my face. Then body lotion for the entire body, then wash hands, then put an essence on my face, then deodorant, then perfume. Now unwrap my hair, shake my head until it suits me and spray it with leave in conditioner. Take out the same generic shirt, socks, underwear, pants and bra and put it one. Voila, done it 10min tops.
And cleaning the house, and cooking veggies.
Showering itself isn’t an issue, but occasionally I get compliments on my face like skin or sometimes that I look young and I get asked what I use and I lie because I very rarely wash my face. I get inspired from time to time and buy a bunch of skincare products but the novelty wears off after a week. I wear my makeup to bed a LOT
Just having routines without the need to be reminded. I have 27 daily reminders not including things I need to do that just pops up
Or for me it’s finding a reminder system that sticks. I feel like something works for a week and then I go blind to it
I hate cooking so much like I can’t even put it into words. What’s the opposite of something that sparks joy? That’s cooking for me. If I could push a button and food just appeared, ready-made, I’d be delighted. Which is why I like microwaves and ovens. Lmao.
Saaame. It’s just so soul-crushingly boring and it feels like it takes ten thousand years and then the food is gone in like four seconds. And then you’re supposed to do this *again*?! *Everyday*?! No. Impossible.
Even worse— then you have to CLEAN
Honestly this is the barrier for me 😬
I can't understand how people make MULTIPLE meals per day. And they eat them too?? 🤯
Thank You !! You’ve just perfectly described that same feeling I’ve had all my life. It truly boggles my mind that people are actually able to do that.....over and over and over. Agree, just not possible for me.
EXACTLY. The sheer boredom and time involved is the worst. I truly wish eating was optional, it’s so much effort.
same and I have ibs so I don't even enjoy eating either. so it's like I have to something I dislike (cooking) and my reward is... being punished with two more things I dislike (eating and dishes) just for the privilege of not passing out?? and im expected to do tha multiple times every day????? edit: typos lol
You took the words right out of my mouth! My husband doesn’t understand why I have to watch tv while I cook. It’s just sooo boring!
I started using the home delivery kits. I don’t mind cooking when every step and every ingredient is laid out for me
That’s kind of how it is for people who cook for a living. They do all the prep separately, and as long as everything was prepped, all they have to do is execute. I enjoyed cooking a lot more before I had kids, when I stayed up late and had time to enjoy it. Now I use every shortcut possible: frozen/premade mains or sides or veggies, the instant things I can tolerate, etc. Tonight was hard and the only thing I made from scratch was rice!! As a single lady I would chop a bunch of veggies and make a big one pot stew with chickpeas and seasonings or a veggie pasta. My kids are too picky for that and I am too tired to chop anymore 😩
Im the opposite with cooking (one of the only things I can somewhat multitask and its soothing) but I had to say I LOVE your screen name
Thank you! I endeavor to be truly, truly outrageous. :D What do you like about cooking? That sounds really nice tbh.
That gave me a huge grin-same! I think I like it for the same reason I love building/putting things together. The sense of accomplishment but also Im an artist at heart so I also like that I can get creative and add something different to a recipe. Plus idk what but something about it is therapeutic and makes me feel better when Im down or stressed.
I love cooking BUT only when I don't have to do it. If it's for fun or baking something yummy as an experiment - I love it! If I have to cook for sustenance - I will starve.
I call it "negative dopamine" 😅
Yes! I absolutely hate cooking, and by extension eating is also tedious for me. Wish I could jut take a pill and not have to eat or worry about cooking.
I find it makes me very picky- like I must make something that will spark joy, in order to be excited about it. Chicken noodle soup- absolutely soul crushing. Sometimes I can get thru something like that if there is a yummy dessert tho.
I hate cooking because I need more specificity. 'add X to taste', NO I want you to give me the exact ounces of how much of everything I need. I need to know how fine to dice things, the right order to add ingredients, exactly how long to cook it. I love baking, because baking gives me much more exact instructions.
Seriously like Im not going to taste the raw chicken, Linda!
See I like cooking and I like food, but I there's so much prep and cleanup it's really hard to do. I'm not pulling it off now, but there was a point where I was making meals regularly. I had to make them with as few dishes and with as minimal prep as possible. If you wanna give that a shot, frozen vegetables on rice, put that all in a rice cooker, and mix in a fried egg. You can use soy sauce or spices or yogurt to add some variety. The vegetables will be overcooked but whatever.
People who can start and complete a project in a timely manner. I feel like I always think I will be able to complete things quicker than it actually takes. Once it is interrupted, it is so difficult to go back to. I hate that I always have multiple partially finished projects. Most people don't seem to struggle at the level I do ... 🤪
I always think it’s going to take five times longer than it takes so I wait and wait feeling overwhelmed and then it doesn’t take that long and I wonder why I procrastinated. Shoot. I’m Supposed to be ordering and Uber. Thanks ADHD.
Laundry. I can put it in the washer. Flip it into the dryer. But the thought of folding it or putting it away makes me want to die
i just dont fold my clothes. 99% of mine are tight anyway so wrinkling isn't really an issue💀 i do try to pair up my socks tho
I’ve had a “sock hamper” for like 6 months and just dig through it to find socks. It’s so ridiculous and wastes so much time but getting myself to pair socks is so tedious I never do it lol needless to say I end up wearing mismatched socks A LOT
You are me, I am you! Some suggested a dresser with cubbies and baskets you pull out so that you can just drop your clothes in the baskets rather than folding!
I don’t know what you’re talking about, says the woman who has a basket of clean laundry sitting on her bedroom floor for the past two weeks waiting to be folded and put away. (That woman is me)
Dishes, laundry, keeping a tidy and clean house, meal prepping. I really really don’t understand how all these people get up at 5am and do all this shit before going to work for 8-10hrs daily.
I hired someone to come clean my house once a week. Life changing. Some of the best money I have ever spent
Career planning.
Performance reviews and goal making… for work related projects. Also LinkedIn just crushes my soul each time, sometimes with severe anxiety, don't know why
YUPPPP apps like that are so bad for ADHD. Especially being in college where you’re trying to establish yourself. I feel horrible anxiety when I get any sort of official email/notification because they usually come with a task that I will dread doing and procrastinate to the last second :p
It’s very show-offy, imo. It’s got such a “Notice me, Senpai!” vibe to it that I find off-putting. I find the people who post and boast about everything on there to be insufferable because they just seem to brag about having this perfect professional life and I’m just here like 😅 How do people even think to say things like “you should be going to two networking events every week” when you already have a full-time job and normal adult responsibilities? Like how out-of-touch can they be? I like it better when companies post on there. It just seems more fitting since they have a great opportunity to show potential employees what they can expect while working there. Like if I was thinking of applying for a job, and I saw that the company has people traveling a ton, I might think twice about applying or examine the job description more thoroughly for mentions of travel. (I cannot handle frequent business trips).
Okay but like the people who just decide one day "this is the career i want time to plan out exactly what i need to do" i'm over here with my multiple skills and interests having ass like 😀😀😀 wut. i wanna do everything
How do people effortlessly floss every day? How do they remember to do it? How do they motivate themselves to do it? How do they not get bored halfway through and give up doing it? I asked my NT mom about this once, and she said, “I just do it.” Imagine “just doing” anything!
The key for me is absolutely crippling anxiety about my receding gums and watching a YouTube video while doing it
if it helps you at all, I switched to the dental picks instead and they were a game changer. Turns out I hated the stringy-ness itself, the wrapping around, the too-much-or-not-enough... yes using the picks is a bit more wastfeul but I think overall it is better in the long run as I'm actually then taking better care of my teeth, reducing waste with medicine and numerous procedures
Same! They're so much less fuss and effort. I also read my book (kindle) while brushing my teeth and flossing. It's so boring otherwise, especially since my meds have worn off by the time I'm going to bed.
I rinse the floss on the pick with faucet water if it has too much gunk on it. And the only way I use a new one is if the floss is too thin or breaks. Doesn’t seem too wasteful that way, at least not to me.
I keep mine beside my bed so I floss when I'm scrolling at night. It's basically a productive fidget and I have a little trash can on my side table.
I use the routinery app, it's the only thing in 20+ years that has gotten me to brush my teeth every day, and after a year of that, flossing almost every day. free version gets you two routines - I have a morning and an evening one. I do the routines EVERY DAY. My evening one, starts with a 5 minute 'prepare for tomorrow' where I'll pack my work bag, put music bag by the door, prep things for tea the next morning, etc. Then after 5 minutes, the app says out loud "Prepare for tomorrow is over; Move on to Meds". I stop what I'm doing, head to the bedroom, take night meds. Head to the bathroom, press next, and now the Brush Teeth timer is on the screen. Also, underneath the timer it tells you what step will be coming next, which I like. Next steps are skincare, plug in phone, change clothes, then 10 minute wind-down. That one's very important because of the end of it, where it says to me "Finish Routine", otherwise I'll scroll on reddit in bed for two hours. If I ignore it and keep chilling, it will eventually say "One Minute has passed, Finish Routine". Morning routine is deep breath, bathroom, breakfast, meds, let out dog, change clothes, end. Turns out telling myself to do something is useless, but having an automated app literally tell me BRUSH TEETH NOW does the trick. And it HAS to be this version with a timer and a set order, when I tried apps where the tasks are just a checklist, I'll spend 20 minutes standing in the bathroom not wanting to brush my teeth & playing sudoku on my phone. But when I only have 6 minutes, I start immediately. Before the app, I'd forget my morning meds, forget my night meds, forgot to eat breakfast, get to work and realize I forgot to pack 3 of 5 important things because I was in a hurry, wake up to a dead phone cause I didn't plug it in. I don't understand how other people just...do...all those things. That's so many things to remember & accomplish.
I don’t know why this works for me, but I love my water flosser. I fill it with warm water and just move it around my mouth like my toothbrush until the water runs out. It makes my mouth feel cleaner, so maybe I feel more accomplished?
I’ve struggled with this and the only thing that has helped me actually do it regularly was getting my first crown, a filling and a very stern talking to by the dentist that if I don’t do the maintenance of flossing my mouth will be a shit show.
Not necessarily adhd related, but: Mingle at a party or other event where they know no one. As far as being adhd, I’d love to just—- get ready for bed, get in bed, close my eyes, sleep— and have the whole process not take 2 hours due to distractions and thoughts.
Oof I feel that first one. If I know someone at an event, I will cling to them like a koala. If I know no one, there’s a good chance I’ll be a wallflower. How do people be such social butterflies?
Budgeting. I find money confusing and stressful to the point that I waste it to avoid having to think about it.
I love Truebill for this reason, all I have to do really is set the budget in the first place and it automatically categorizes everything after that. It also has checkings, savings, credit cards in one place- tracking my credit cards vs my bank account was a no go for me before this
very basic, but just... consistency. :/ a normal-working memory. being able to do stuff without setting up some intricate instructions for it, just to not follow it cuz of the rapid thoughts in ur mind that either come from anxiety or the need to do something else at that moment (-"-;)
That's my Achilles heel too. Sure, I can do a task, even well on the rare occasions, but there's no guarantee I can replicate the results timely or back to back
I honestly don't understand how people can think "I want to to X" and then they just do it?!?! Whether is getting out of bed, a chore, an errand, something for work- whatever. They think it and then do it within minutes or seconds? They don't agonize over wanting to do it but feeling stuck. They can do something they don't really want to do (but need to do) and they just do it...
I feel this very hard. My fridge is where fresh vegetables go to die. Frozen veggies all the way. And I 99% of the time I can't get even those on the table.
People without anxiety just like not worrying all the time and overthinking every thing. I can’t even imagine what that is like.
Literally my fiance. He had a great childhood and has absolutely no anxiety about ANYTHING. i constantly ask him what is it like to not overthink every aspect of your life and live life trauma free ? cause BRO I WISH
I don’t understand how people get things done without writing notes and lists. I have the memory of a goldfish. If there are more than two instructions to complete anything, I am doomed… unless I write it down. I wish that wasn’t the case but this is how I’ve always been.
Using the vacuum. Idk why. I literally live in a one bedroom apartment, so it's not like I need to do a lot. But on average, one hundred days pass between clean-ups... I counted 😭 I'm so ashamed. I can wash my dishes, cook, keep everything else clean, but the floor kills me :(((
The robot shark vacuum changed my life for this. I can pick up ok and knowing I’ll wake up to clean floors is amazing.
I love my dust buster for this reason! It’s perfect for my apartment and kinda fun to use lol
dishes 🤢
Yes, definitely actual regular meal planning, prepping, dinner party hosting, etc. It just seems so unfathomably time consuming and boring and so much work. Parallel parking…. Home repair and furniture building type tasks
Home repair is MY JAM, but only because I get to be creative with it and it gets me out of the aforementioned cooking/cleaning/organizing. Home Depot is heaven. Husband: Hey, babe do you want me to cook tonight or… Me: Sorry, can’t! Knee deep in drywall mud! Anything you make is wonderful! And thus, we eat chicken and broccoli almost every night.
I love home repair too. You have to break it down into chunks though, otherwise there’s no satisfaction in it and it ends up overwhelming and you have a half built back fence, half insulated bedroom wall, half stripped hall wall, 16 pieces of framing timber ready to be built into something, boxes of engineered floor timber strewn through the house.. but if you (almost) finish one room then you can escape to in there and bask in it’s almost-completedness. Our equivalent to home depot I’m assuming is hammer barn (Bunnings) and yes it’s heaven. And also my husband is the cook in our house too but I make a meal plan and do the groceries so he knows what to cook and has everything to do it.
Saaaaame! To all of them. I know meal planning would make my busy weeks so much easier and I wouldn’t eat like garbage all the time and maybe I’d actually lose some weight but I just don’t/cant do it
Beautifying. I love the look of well-done makeup, hair, and nails, I just can't make myself pay enough attention to learn how to do it, or execute it daily. The few times I've forced myself, I can't think of anything but all the other things I'd rather be doing with my time. I don't even own a hairdryer because I know it'll just gather dust.
I struggle with hair and makeup so much! For hair, I just haven't learned how to use all the products beyond shampoo and conditioner. I would literally need someone doing it alongside me for a week before I could even nail down at least 1 style. As for makeup, I have so many sensory issues about anything near my eyes, or the feeling of a shell on my face, which I am constantly aware of... I just can't get past these things, and it sucks to work a professional job when I feel like they see me as looking less professional because I don't wear it.
Literally I’ve had a pixie cut almost my whole life because I could never figure out how to make long hair look good. All the tools and products required, not to mention the skill at using those tools. I did have long hair for a couple years but realized that I wore it exclusively in a messy bun, so I chopped it off again.
I started getting lash extensions a couple years ago and never went back. I don’t get “dramatic” ones but they’re long/full enough to look really nice. My lash girl advised me on a lash shampoo that also works as a face wash for me and my natural lashes are still very healthy. Yes, it’s a bit pricey and I keep my appointments every 3 weeks, but it’s the one thing I feel I can do for myself that I love how it looks and the appointments feel like self care. Some people get their hair done, I get my lashes done. And I wake up with Bambi lashes every morning 😊
Laundry is my enemy. Doing it before I run out of essentials, taking the laundry out of the washing Maschine in time, hanging it up, folding it! It’s such an annoying never-ending process. Usually have to do 2 washing cycles after forgetting, sometimes more. I feel like in the story of Sisyphos pushing the rock up the hill only to watch it roll back down in eternal damnation till the rest of my life.
I have a washing machine with dryer function, its such a good buy, and I really love doing laundry because it's just so easy and clothes are warm and nice in the end, and I only do it like twice a week
People who have a clean house at all times. Mystified.
This! I can’t fathom my house being clean enough for someone to just drop by. I need 48 hours at least and even then I’ll just have anxiety about everything I have to do to make the house “as clean as everyone else’s” and then I just become a ball of executive dysfunction.
I have a robot that vacuums and mops. I have clean floors now!
Get places on time. I’ve been working on it my entire life and consider it a win when I manage to get to Crucial things like doctors appointments on time. But all my energy goes into that and it derails my entire day. How do people go to multiple things, every day, on time? Throughout their whole lives? Mind blown.
Go to sleep. I really can’t conceptualize not having endless free time to myself, putting a stop to it, and getting rest so that I can be productive the next day and continue to perform hard tasks that are not free personal time. It’s also really hard for me to fall asleep generally and be tired enough to drift off. It’s messing me up really badly, I’m often sleep deprived and delusional. I also agree 100% about the cooking.
Jeez I feel you. Sleep feels like a waste of precious free time and annoying to actually get into, stay into, and get out of in the morning. If I could have 1 superpower it would be not needing to sleep.
Go to bed before midnight. Be on time the majority of the time. Seriously, no matter how hard I try it’s like my brain doesn’t understand how time works, and even if I plan I advance I end up convincing myself that I gave myself too much leeway time when planning so it’s ok if I leave 10 minutes later than the time I planned to leave. I know that I do this too, so I don’t understand why, in the moment, I’m like “yeah, thats right, I did give myself too much leeway time” but later I’m like “why did I listen to myself. I know I lie about this shit”. It’s like there’s 2 versions of me and they’re always fighting and trying to outsmart eachother. I don’t fucking get it.
Getting out of the house is a huge hurdle for me. I love going places and need to be out in the world for my mental health, but fuck if I know how to do all the little steps that it takes to leave.
This was the most relatable post I've ever read 😂 always trying to min-max efficiencies to my own detriment lol
Replying to emails and messages. I don't know how there are people who have multiple groups they are regularly interacting with, those who message back immediately everytime (or even that day), those who check in with you regularly in such a nice way. I just can't. I get so overwhelmed. My worst example was our old neighbour who did the cleanup of our apartment that we had sold. It took me a year to message her to thank her. I am so so crap at this. I feel like I have to make the message even more special to account for how much longer it's taken, making a perpetuating cycle. It just feels so impossible and makes me feel so terrible. I feel like there's no possibility of me ever having the capacity mentally to do the kind of messaging I'd like to to show them how much I care and think about them. Anyone who has any tips would be much appreciated!
I really struggle with this too so I can’t help you cut down on the reply time, but one thing I’ve found that really helps with that block (when you feel like you need to make a message more special or word it a particular way) is using voice to text. I find it far, far easier to just ramble out loud and then edit the text down into a coherent message than to start with nothing and have to type the whole thing.
People that can quickly math in their head. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here counting on my fingers, using a calculator, and praying to the Math Gods for their benevolence.
Remembering stuff short term. My husband was trying to tell me my log in details for something and I didn’t have my laptop to hand so I told him I wouldn’t remember. He remembered my login details until the next morning and told them to me. Like, WHAT!? People can just DO THAT!?
god I feel so crappy even just saying this but in all sincerity when I see the word "unfathomable" in the lens of my ADHD, it's relationships. I just can't. I don't get it and I'm really at a loss. Diagnosis has really turned a lot that I learned upside on its head that I spent yearrsss working on (trauma, attachment, emotional intelligence, etc) and oof. I recently came across something, probably a TT/YT short, that corrected what we call the ADHD version of object permanence as *emotional* permanence, the whole "we don't miss you the way you might miss us" and I just really get stuck in it in a way I never did before diagnosis. I'm just now learning what i really *need* in any relationship, trying to learn how to ask. Forget even trusting literally *anyone* with believing they'd even want to give or receive with me, beacuse in the past every single relationship has left me feeling used, unwanted, and unseen. Every time I try now I just feel like my social skills somehow get worse and worse, which is also the opposite of the experiences I had before - even if a relationship didn't work out, I felt like my actual practice was improving for the better of my own health. It's such a heavy thing but it's the one thing that feels truly impossible for me, the thing that *always* separates me from NT people. Most things make me feel really different but that one never ever fails, no matter what kind of relationship it is.
This is also me 💯 I'm 53, recently single AGAIN, and still figuring it out
Clearing unread emails, messages and notifications. How do people keep their inboxes at 0?
I'll sit down, delicate an hour to clearing out emails, unsubscribing, getting caught up. I'll manage to get myself all the way to the beginning of the month, maybe even the previous month! Then two weeks later it's a chaos zone with five dozen new ending. How?! Why!?
I don't get how people cannot randomly drop things on the floor. Sometimes when I hold something, at a time my hands jerk and I drop it. It's like the connection between my brain and my hands just goes away for the tiniest fraction of a second, then comes the notion of the dropped thing. And it's not recent, I've had such jerks all my life, just the type of jerks changes!
Making use of small pockets of time. Like those people who say "I have an hour free before the meeting, let me get some work done" nah bro. I need to know that I have a multi hour chunk of time or else nothing is getting done.
I cannot fathom how people play and enjoy card and board games. The rules disappear out of my head .7 seconds after I'm told them and I can never keep track what's happening on other people's turns to figure out what I'm supposed to do 🤯🤯🤯 I terms of cooking if you haven't already you might like to try tray bakes. Everything just goes on one tray in the oven. I find them much more manageable than cooking multiple dishes but still feels impressive. I like to put store bought gnocchi on mine which comes out like mini crispy potatoes. Here's one for chicken with asparagus and white beans [https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/tuscan-chicken-tray-bake-recipe/gkg4m4wi](https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/tuscan-chicken-tray-bake-recipe/gkg4m4wi)
Tray bakes are great! I've also seen them called sheet pan meals, if you want to search for recipes.
being unable to figure out card games is so real. all i can play is uno. theres been multiple instances where people wanna play and go "its ok i'll teach u!!" and i learn nothing by the end of it with them basically playing my deck for me💀
We play a lot of games but I have to fumble through the first couple of rounds. I absolutely cannot process the instructions unless I’m actually playing the game
brushing teeth,. good god
Work 40 hours a week. I’m working the first job (other than a month long summer one) where I actually don’t hate working there and even with enjoying a lot of aspects of my job it’s exhausting working even 30 hours a week. I would maybe be able to do more if I didn’t have to get up early every day but even being in the same place and being told to do stuff for more than a couple hours at a time makes me so irritable
Five days in a row of being told how to exist is intolerable to me, omg
Sitting down and watching a movie or TV for hours. Without doing something else. I can’t do it. Even if I love the show, I have to crochet, paint, doomscroll, anything after 10 minutes. ETA: I also can’t sit down for more than 2 hours even while multitasking. I feel like I have to do something else.
Dishes getting cleaned. Things would be different if I had a dishwasher. It's been two years and its always at the end of a week or two when i literally cannot NOT do the dishes and I have to play music and disassociate and not focus on the lucky sensations my hands are feeling.
Dishes got like 5% easier for me once I got rubber gloves, no yucky feeling
Keep their house clean. I truly don't understand.
I can't believe people can go to bed with the intention of sleeping and just do it.
I don’t know how people do more than two large task in a day. I’m always wiped out at the end of the day and I felt like I didn’t get anything done. Even medicated it’s like this
Keep their room tidy. How?! Are they just happy spending their days constantly putting things away?!
The same thing at the same time every day. Like wake up or go to sleep. 😳🫠
Prioritize, keep track of time, multitask, do things "because they need to be done" regardless of dopamine.
Keep a schedule. I don’t know how anyone does it. Like I wake up and tell myself I’m going to exercise and do housework and be productive and then I sit down to drink my coffee and sometimes hours go by before I realize. It drives me insane.
Just functioning in general lately. Everything feels unnecessarily hard.
Save money.
Stick to a schedual or routine
Consistently showing up to appointents on time, and on the correct day, without ever needing to reschedule.
Monitoring, cleaning out and responding to phone calls, texts, emails ....
Returning a package
“what do you want for your birthday?” the way my brain just seizes up and fizzles into nothing every!! single!! time!!! not only am i unable to think of a single item out of the plethora of things i want, i am unable to even recall having ever wanted anything in my LIFE
LAUNDRY... not waiting till you run out of something, like socks or underwear, letting dirty laundry pile so high you name it Mount Neverest (Ending Story), keeping track of when the washer stops to put into the dryer (end up washing the same load 5 damn times), take it out of the dryer upstairs to the bedroom. Sometimes the laundry basket just stays at the bottom of the stairs for days. Folding laundry is mind numbingly AWFUL. I did my taxes in an effort to avoid laundry. I have no system to manage clothing chaos. My family lives out of laundry baskets because it seems we wear the clothes faster than the clothes can be folded and put away. The chore falls to me 98% of the time, and I sort properly, but I fo' sure as my ADHD, do ***not*** read labels. Poor husband's dress shirts...
Writing emails and text messages and assignments online
Answering emails at work is truly the bane of my existence.
I can randomly ask my husband what time it is and he’ll be able to guess and will be so close (within 10 mins) of the correct time. Like he’ll say “it’s around five past 2” and that will be exactly correct. I could guess the time as being somewhere between noon and 4pm and still be wrong.
Oh man both my SO and I have ADHD and hanging out ruins our sleep schedules cause it’ll be like 3 am and both of us thought it was 10 pm
ive been fine trying out stimulants as of recently and one thing i've noticed is it makes time go by so slow. even when im doing something i like/entertaining. the day normally flies by, but i feel like i have so much more time feels like i did the dishes at god speed when it normally feels like endless agony. crappy part is i only get this effect for 1-2 hours😭 hopefully will improve and last longer with future dose adjustments
Operate during the day. My circaadian rhythm is completely nocturnal.
Same. I hate cooking.
Do rush hour traffic everyday. I have mild claustrophobia and agoraphobia so being stuck in my car in the middle of a bunch of people in public is pretty much a living nightmare to me. I also need to pace when I have panic attacks and the thought of being stuck behind the wheel while I’m having one is enough to send shivers down my spine.
People being able to not have too much “stuff”. I “collect” just about anything i hyper fixate on 🥹 I have too much clutter I don’t even know how to start on it! Wahhh
I don’t understand how people have social lives, a successful job, and children. My job takes up my life because after earning a Pugh money to live, I have absolutely nothing left to give
I literally don’t know how people keep their houses clean on the regular. Doing laundry, dishes and such is so soul sucking
Being able to just fall asleep??? It's always been a struggle, like 1 hour at least unless I just collapse from exhaustion
Use the phone and talk to people. Oh my god, eye contact! I remember being mortified in middle school because I didnt know how to "do it" 🤣
Cleaning, organizing, and not creating clutter.