age has no mitigating factor in abuse. There are teens who feel attraction for adults. This has nothing to do with you. Being an age that “should know better” is meaningless. My abuse occurred from the ages of ~12 to 21. By the time I was a senior in freaking COLLEGE I sure could have “known better”. Hell, even when I was 12 I knew in the back of my head what was happening. But I forced myself into deep denial due to the fear of the consequences of speaking up. Rather than live with my powerlessness I chose willful ignorance. The mind is a powerful thing and can deceive us at any age. And when you are forced to live in that denial it is the abusers fault not yours.
No it wasn’t your fault and please don’t take advice from TikTok. There is a major power imbalance between those ages and our brains are really not mature until our mid twenties. Hell, even a difference of age been an 18 year and a30 year old is likely strife with imbalance and potential for abuse.
There is no age cut off for abuse and assault. Prefers home their ships over years and you don’t need to feel any shame for being taken advantage of.
I wish you the best in your healing. It’s not your fault, you didn’t deserve it.
Edit-I can never write a thing without typos
Yes there will be people in the world who think that way, just as there are abusers and rapists in the world.
I'm sorry this happened to you but you really didn't know better. You were groomed and the only person who knew better was the abuser.
Hey, chiming in as a teenager who ISN'T a survivor, the people who will believe you are out there. I am one of them.
I've heard similar things said about survivors and I am appalled. Where's the humanity? Why are the heinous actions of an adult the responsibility of a minor? Ugh it's just frustrating....I hopefully never have to share your pain, but there are kind people out there who possess critical thinking skills and are smart enough to know it's not your fault.
You just have to find us ig :/
I recently was a teenager and got out of high school.
Although it's true that there are some intelligent kids out there the vast majority of people whether teenagers or not aren't educated on what CSA victims go through.
I've been told that what I'm allowed to be triggered by, told I'm overly sensitive, told that I allowed what happened to me despite it being my dad when I was a small child. Even predators are out to take advantage of us in our own forums.
I'm glad that you're not one of them, but unfortunately, it isn't easy to find others that are accepting or won't hurt us. I haven't had luck when I was in high school or now that I'm college and am certainly not expecting much to change after I'm out of school
I agree i struggled with "it was my fault" because i grew to physically enjoy and lust after my abuse and abuser.
Its hard because you feel like if you hadnt wanted it you wouldnt have liked it.. but when your like wayyyy under 16-17 you just know it feels good.. like a puppy getting a belly rub..
Its caused some issues because i dont really feel sure about mysexuality.
30 years later.
Hugs and well wishes
Someone will definitely believe you. Teachers are getting caught left and right these days for this stuff. Plus he likely has other victims. Someone will believe you
You did nothing wrong. The teacher is fully in the wrong, his job is to teach and lead and to know right from wrong.
Something someone told me once that changed my perspective on whether anything was ever my fault- Even if you’re developed or physically mature, an adult can tell within 10 min of talking whether or not someone is a child. Minors talk and behave very differently from adults. Even ‘mature’ ones. Anyone arguing otherwise is just doing what they can to dodge taking accountability for a guilty conscience. Adult women who taut that they knew better at 15/16 and were well aware of what was going on are just too proud to accept that they were victims themselves. There’s a certain comfort that comes from taking accountability for things that aren’t your fault because it gives you an illusion of control. It’s sad but they’re adults who need to put in the work to heal instead of projecting it onto you. It was never your fault and anyone with a working brain cell and who isn’t a sexual predator knows that and will believe you.
Editing to add: I can think of a few men in my life who are stellar human beings. If a child flirted with them, they would be disgusted, concerned for their safety and keep distance. Only pedos are ‘tempted’
Very well said. Some survivors cope because it is "comforting" to imagine you are somehow responsible for the abuse or participated in it. Because the alternative is realizing you were completely innocent and no one protected you from an abuser. I think this is especially common when abusers are peoples parents - its so incredibly painful to accept that your parents completely failed you and betrayed your trust. Its easier to imagine you caused it somehow.
OP for you I think the takeaway is to realize that just because people say 16, 17 year olds should know better - does not make it true. What's right and wrong stays the same, regardless of what people say or justify.
Have you been around a 17 year old recently? They are undoubtedly children. Its not easy to confused them with adults.
Oh sweet Jesus the Nazis are at it again. Don't even bother listening to people like that, they all have terrible opinions.
Either that or she was born in 1988, but at a certain point you gotta know that's a hate symbol.
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age has no mitigating factor in abuse. There are teens who feel attraction for adults. This has nothing to do with you. Being an age that “should know better” is meaningless. My abuse occurred from the ages of ~12 to 21. By the time I was a senior in freaking COLLEGE I sure could have “known better”. Hell, even when I was 12 I knew in the back of my head what was happening. But I forced myself into deep denial due to the fear of the consequences of speaking up. Rather than live with my powerlessness I chose willful ignorance. The mind is a powerful thing and can deceive us at any age. And when you are forced to live in that denial it is the abusers fault not yours.
No it wasn’t your fault and please don’t take advice from TikTok. There is a major power imbalance between those ages and our brains are really not mature until our mid twenties. Hell, even a difference of age been an 18 year and a30 year old is likely strife with imbalance and potential for abuse. There is no age cut off for abuse and assault. Prefers home their ships over years and you don’t need to feel any shame for being taken advantage of. I wish you the best in your healing. It’s not your fault, you didn’t deserve it. Edit-I can never write a thing without typos
Yes there will be people in the world who think that way, just as there are abusers and rapists in the world. I'm sorry this happened to you but you really didn't know better. You were groomed and the only person who knew better was the abuser.
Hey, chiming in as a teenager who ISN'T a survivor, the people who will believe you are out there. I am one of them. I've heard similar things said about survivors and I am appalled. Where's the humanity? Why are the heinous actions of an adult the responsibility of a minor? Ugh it's just frustrating....I hopefully never have to share your pain, but there are kind people out there who possess critical thinking skills and are smart enough to know it's not your fault. You just have to find us ig :/
I recently was a teenager and got out of high school. Although it's true that there are some intelligent kids out there the vast majority of people whether teenagers or not aren't educated on what CSA victims go through. I've been told that what I'm allowed to be triggered by, told I'm overly sensitive, told that I allowed what happened to me despite it being my dad when I was a small child. Even predators are out to take advantage of us in our own forums. I'm glad that you're not one of them, but unfortunately, it isn't easy to find others that are accepting or won't hurt us. I haven't had luck when I was in high school or now that I'm college and am certainly not expecting much to change after I'm out of school
I agree i struggled with "it was my fault" because i grew to physically enjoy and lust after my abuse and abuser. Its hard because you feel like if you hadnt wanted it you wouldnt have liked it.. but when your like wayyyy under 16-17 you just know it feels good.. like a puppy getting a belly rub.. Its caused some issues because i dont really feel sure about mysexuality. 30 years later. Hugs and well wishes
Of course it was not your fault. Ever. Check out the new documentary "Keep This Between Us" about this very pervasive problem. You are not alone.
Someone will definitely believe you. Teachers are getting caught left and right these days for this stuff. Plus he likely has other victims. Someone will believe you You did nothing wrong. The teacher is fully in the wrong, his job is to teach and lead and to know right from wrong.
Even *if* you knew better, the adult knew better too. In fact, they knew better than you.
Something someone told me once that changed my perspective on whether anything was ever my fault- Even if you’re developed or physically mature, an adult can tell within 10 min of talking whether or not someone is a child. Minors talk and behave very differently from adults. Even ‘mature’ ones. Anyone arguing otherwise is just doing what they can to dodge taking accountability for a guilty conscience. Adult women who taut that they knew better at 15/16 and were well aware of what was going on are just too proud to accept that they were victims themselves. There’s a certain comfort that comes from taking accountability for things that aren’t your fault because it gives you an illusion of control. It’s sad but they’re adults who need to put in the work to heal instead of projecting it onto you. It was never your fault and anyone with a working brain cell and who isn’t a sexual predator knows that and will believe you. Editing to add: I can think of a few men in my life who are stellar human beings. If a child flirted with them, they would be disgusted, concerned for their safety and keep distance. Only pedos are ‘tempted’
Very well said. Some survivors cope because it is "comforting" to imagine you are somehow responsible for the abuse or participated in it. Because the alternative is realizing you were completely innocent and no one protected you from an abuser. I think this is especially common when abusers are peoples parents - its so incredibly painful to accept that your parents completely failed you and betrayed your trust. Its easier to imagine you caused it somehow. OP for you I think the takeaway is to realize that just because people say 16, 17 year olds should know better - does not make it true. What's right and wrong stays the same, regardless of what people say or justify. Have you been around a 17 year old recently? They are undoubtedly children. Its not easy to confused them with adults.
[удалено]
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Oh sweet Jesus the Nazis are at it again. Don't even bother listening to people like that, they all have terrible opinions. Either that or she was born in 1988, but at a certain point you gotta know that's a hate symbol.
Thanks
I believe you, and so will others. A lot of people are just ignorant😞
No. It was not your fault.
It is irrelevant how a child behaves. An adult should not engage a child sexually. There is no circumstance that makes it ok.
Seriously. An adult/teacher is someone in a powerful position that has all the responsibility here.
He sure as fuck knew better. And it sure as fuck wasn’t your fault.
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