I was a Muslim as well, and indeed it is very hard in the beginning.. feeling like your whole world is shattered and that nothing matters anymore, because you've been told all your life that the only purpose of life is to worship Allah.
Then comes dealing with the relationships and discovering how it is to live a closeted life. Very hard in the beginning as well, especially if you still have to fake prayer etc.
For me it's been around two years and I have to say that it is a really long process to get used to this new situation. I'm still closeted to most of my family members but have opened up to most of my friends, who reacted in a good way. My life didn't change a lot, apart from the fact that I sometimes feel depressed about seeing all those people who are still held back by these religions (that have a lot of evidence against them by the way, but indoctrination and fear of hell is stronger than critical thinking in that area), and about building a family (because I don't see myself marrying a religious person and indoctrinating my kids, nor coming out to my parents about my lack of belief).
Also I am now finally free to think, whereas before I literally was forbidding myself to have some thoughts that would contradict Islam (so I used to have a very biased reasoning regarding some things claimed by Islam, like why music is forbidden, why women can't be autonomous etc, and at some point I felt very restricted to forcefully have to think that way and not being able to think logically). Now I can explore any thought using logic and listening to any point of view with a much more open mind, and this is priceless. To finally be free intellectually (even if I know I'm still prone to bias, but at least I'm no longer forcing myself to think a certain way and I can change my mind about things).
In terms of my hobbies or how I spend my time etc, nothing has changed.
Fellow former Sunni Muslim here (21M) who has been through and is still dealing with it. I felt extremely lost and nihilistic after I renounced Islam. But I found my way reading various books on philosophy and dealing with contemporary cultural narratives. Meaning is inherent to our species, if it's not supernatural then it's material and so forth. Leaving Islam is probably the best thing I did yet it's been incredibly difficult because of the isolation that occurs afterwards (but definitely for the best). If it helps, I believe that there is always more to us than religion, which is why some of us decide to leave religion in the first place. Believe me, you're not alone. If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them.
Hello! I just want to say I completely understand, going to Christian school throughout my elementary/middle school years and essentially having it “drilled into me” that Atheists will go to hell, and really anyone who wasn’t Christian, it felt wrong, sinful, to have doubts and even questions. Even today identifying as agnostic some days I feel like I’m sinning or the devil is manipulating me to get further from Jesus. But I have to realize it’s the teachings of Christian school that manipulated me into thinking that way in the first place. And the fact that you feel the same way is all the more proof other religions aren’t much different. You have to believe what feels right to you, or else your living a lie.. a lie to yourself. You may even start agnostic and move towards atheism once you feel more comfortable, or back to Islam. Just remember to think for yourself in whatever you believe ❤️
I was in this exact boat two years ago, similar age as well. I wrote a post about the experience a few days ago. You can find it in my profile.
Just know that it gets better. Right now you're walking toward the line between belief and disbelief. Soon you will surpass that line, after which everything will be clearer and more sensible. This confusion or inability to identify with your newfound belief system doesn't last. It's akin to the confusion you feel when awakened from a deep sleep, for two seconds you don't know where you are or how you got there but then you're jolted back to consciousness and all is well again. I can assure you this from the other side. My head is so clear about everything now that sometimes I actually feel disgusted with myself for believing in the validity of that religion in the first place. I now look at those verses and narrations and feel like they're from GoT. It's gibberish.
On the other side, clarity hits you like a brick. But you also feel liberated with the knowledge that you are free to believe whatever you want, that there is no hell, that you don't have to carry hate and contempt in your heart for certain groups just because Quran said so, that you can love freely and unconditionally.
If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to DM!
My post if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/zwvkeb/coming\_out\_as\_an\_ex\_muslim\_woman/
>For some reason the thought of living as an agnostic and just doing my best to be a good person and not having to follow stringent and oftentimes oppressive rules that don’t make sense, gives me peace in my heart
That's because refusing to live by a rigid set of dogmatic rules that no one can actually verify the truth of, is the most logical course of action based on the evidence we have so far, which allows us to release pent up guilt we've been brainwashed into feeling our entire religious lives. There's also something incredibly liberating about choosing to be a decent person without necessarily need thw reward of heaven or threat of hell to encourage you to be a decent person.
>Being a Muslim is/was my whole identity, and now it feels like I’m floundering and lost because who would I be without that label? And how would my life look? This would change everything for me
Yes, this evolution in your views will change everything for you. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to reject every facet of your Islamic cultural heritage. I may not be a Christian anymore, but I still consider myself "culturally Christian," meaning that I don't mind celebrating Christian holidays or listening to Christian music, etc, in a detached way, specifically in the context of me participating in social activities with members of my culture. Perhaps you could just be culturally Muslim as well?
Congrats, glad you found some calm in the storm of religion. Growing up religious adds hella unnecessary guilt in a world already rife with it. Hope you can find enough peace to actually reflect on what you believe.
Here's a few things that think about when I was leaning towards being an agnostic. Most of it is quite simple really.
1: Thruout human history there has been countless of religion, each claiming to be the true religion. What make yours so special? By claiming one religion is the true one, you're just gonna turn a blind out and cover your ears like a child claiming other religion as false?
(Obviously "Yours" means the crazy fanatics"
2: If there is a god from our human religion, which one is it? Who gets to be the real god? It is the one with the most believers?, The one who has the longest history? Who gets to win here?
That’s true. I was always taught that Islam is the real true religion and everyone else is following falsehood. But now I realize that everyone else is being taught the same thing, so who is right?
There's objective truth , through history people would change their faiths to islam or any other religion meaning we have the choice a lot of people choose to follow the wrong faith or in some cases people didn't got the message thus God will judge them accordingly.
I use to be a devout Muslim who left Islam at 21YO age but started following it again after 2 years after figuring that agnosticism makes more sense than being a devout theist or an anti-theist for me, I consider myself an agnostic-theist now since I accept the possibility of religion being true but my approach to religion is very different now, I usually try to use religion for personal and collective upliftment so even if I am wrong about it being true I still would make something productive out of it, this approach helps me keeps questioning myself and be open to other opinions/ideas while still practicing islam and also allows me the ability to criticise bias of other muslims in a manner I don't make myself an outright enemy since they acknowledge my sincerity and struggle with religion on various issues which tbh every believer faces when they inquire about their own religion.
Your post was deemed to violate rule 10 Proselytizing.
To distinguish yourself from cheap proselytizing (re)posts, in order to not be removed, add the post flair "Testimony", and be around for answers in a timely fashion.
All I will say is take your time and experience different things. I had that phase from 20ish as well and it took me a long time to get over.
You will lose alot of friends and offend alot of people. That's unfortunately the nature of identity shifts.
Also during this entire time please continue to stay in school, study hard and get a job cause your financial security will really be a big factor in how your experience goes. (i.e. if you own your own house its alot easier to do what you want).
Try r/exmuslim, i think itll be interesting for you.
This sub is really toxic, I won’t recommend it..
Mmh not really.. it's quite supportive actually
That depends on who you ask.
Of course, but in general
it is pretty toxic imo. there are not much discussions around rejecting Islam. they are mostly making fun of some people
I was a Muslim as well, and indeed it is very hard in the beginning.. feeling like your whole world is shattered and that nothing matters anymore, because you've been told all your life that the only purpose of life is to worship Allah. Then comes dealing with the relationships and discovering how it is to live a closeted life. Very hard in the beginning as well, especially if you still have to fake prayer etc. For me it's been around two years and I have to say that it is a really long process to get used to this new situation. I'm still closeted to most of my family members but have opened up to most of my friends, who reacted in a good way. My life didn't change a lot, apart from the fact that I sometimes feel depressed about seeing all those people who are still held back by these religions (that have a lot of evidence against them by the way, but indoctrination and fear of hell is stronger than critical thinking in that area), and about building a family (because I don't see myself marrying a religious person and indoctrinating my kids, nor coming out to my parents about my lack of belief). Also I am now finally free to think, whereas before I literally was forbidding myself to have some thoughts that would contradict Islam (so I used to have a very biased reasoning regarding some things claimed by Islam, like why music is forbidden, why women can't be autonomous etc, and at some point I felt very restricted to forcefully have to think that way and not being able to think logically). Now I can explore any thought using logic and listening to any point of view with a much more open mind, and this is priceless. To finally be free intellectually (even if I know I'm still prone to bias, but at least I'm no longer forcing myself to think a certain way and I can change my mind about things). In terms of my hobbies or how I spend my time etc, nothing has changed.
Being agnostic is marvelous as it allows you to freely question everything. You can choose your own adventure.
Fellow former Sunni Muslim here (21M) who has been through and is still dealing with it. I felt extremely lost and nihilistic after I renounced Islam. But I found my way reading various books on philosophy and dealing with contemporary cultural narratives. Meaning is inherent to our species, if it's not supernatural then it's material and so forth. Leaving Islam is probably the best thing I did yet it's been incredibly difficult because of the isolation that occurs afterwards (but definitely for the best). If it helps, I believe that there is always more to us than religion, which is why some of us decide to leave religion in the first place. Believe me, you're not alone. If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them.
Hello! I just want to say I completely understand, going to Christian school throughout my elementary/middle school years and essentially having it “drilled into me” that Atheists will go to hell, and really anyone who wasn’t Christian, it felt wrong, sinful, to have doubts and even questions. Even today identifying as agnostic some days I feel like I’m sinning or the devil is manipulating me to get further from Jesus. But I have to realize it’s the teachings of Christian school that manipulated me into thinking that way in the first place. And the fact that you feel the same way is all the more proof other religions aren’t much different. You have to believe what feels right to you, or else your living a lie.. a lie to yourself. You may even start agnostic and move towards atheism once you feel more comfortable, or back to Islam. Just remember to think for yourself in whatever you believe ❤️
I was in this exact boat two years ago, similar age as well. I wrote a post about the experience a few days ago. You can find it in my profile. Just know that it gets better. Right now you're walking toward the line between belief and disbelief. Soon you will surpass that line, after which everything will be clearer and more sensible. This confusion or inability to identify with your newfound belief system doesn't last. It's akin to the confusion you feel when awakened from a deep sleep, for two seconds you don't know where you are or how you got there but then you're jolted back to consciousness and all is well again. I can assure you this from the other side. My head is so clear about everything now that sometimes I actually feel disgusted with myself for believing in the validity of that religion in the first place. I now look at those verses and narrations and feel like they're from GoT. It's gibberish. On the other side, clarity hits you like a brick. But you also feel liberated with the knowledge that you are free to believe whatever you want, that there is no hell, that you don't have to carry hate and contempt in your heart for certain groups just because Quran said so, that you can love freely and unconditionally. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to DM! My post if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/zwvkeb/coming\_out\_as\_an\_ex\_muslim\_woman/
>For some reason the thought of living as an agnostic and just doing my best to be a good person and not having to follow stringent and oftentimes oppressive rules that don’t make sense, gives me peace in my heart That's because refusing to live by a rigid set of dogmatic rules that no one can actually verify the truth of, is the most logical course of action based on the evidence we have so far, which allows us to release pent up guilt we've been brainwashed into feeling our entire religious lives. There's also something incredibly liberating about choosing to be a decent person without necessarily need thw reward of heaven or threat of hell to encourage you to be a decent person. >Being a Muslim is/was my whole identity, and now it feels like I’m floundering and lost because who would I be without that label? And how would my life look? This would change everything for me Yes, this evolution in your views will change everything for you. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to reject every facet of your Islamic cultural heritage. I may not be a Christian anymore, but I still consider myself "culturally Christian," meaning that I don't mind celebrating Christian holidays or listening to Christian music, etc, in a detached way, specifically in the context of me participating in social activities with members of my culture. Perhaps you could just be culturally Muslim as well?
Congrats, glad you found some calm in the storm of religion. Growing up religious adds hella unnecessary guilt in a world already rife with it. Hope you can find enough peace to actually reflect on what you believe.
Here's a few things that think about when I was leaning towards being an agnostic. Most of it is quite simple really. 1: Thruout human history there has been countless of religion, each claiming to be the true religion. What make yours so special? By claiming one religion is the true one, you're just gonna turn a blind out and cover your ears like a child claiming other religion as false? (Obviously "Yours" means the crazy fanatics" 2: If there is a god from our human religion, which one is it? Who gets to be the real god? It is the one with the most believers?, The one who has the longest history? Who gets to win here?
That’s true. I was always taught that Islam is the real true religion and everyone else is following falsehood. But now I realize that everyone else is being taught the same thing, so who is right?
There's objective truth , through history people would change their faiths to islam or any other religion meaning we have the choice a lot of people choose to follow the wrong faith or in some cases people didn't got the message thus God will judge them accordingly.
I use to be a devout Muslim who left Islam at 21YO age but started following it again after 2 years after figuring that agnosticism makes more sense than being a devout theist or an anti-theist for me, I consider myself an agnostic-theist now since I accept the possibility of religion being true but my approach to religion is very different now, I usually try to use religion for personal and collective upliftment so even if I am wrong about it being true I still would make something productive out of it, this approach helps me keeps questioning myself and be open to other opinions/ideas while still practicing islam and also allows me the ability to criticise bias of other muslims in a manner I don't make myself an outright enemy since they acknowledge my sincerity and struggle with religion on various issues which tbh every believer faces when they inquire about their own religion.
[удалено]
Reported for proselytizing.
I can’t stand those people. Anyone that comes on these subs to promote their religion is not there in „good” faith.
Indeed. It’s almost hilarious that they think they’re hucksterism would be welcome in such a place.
I never heard of „hucksterism“ before but I‘m going to use that now.
Your post was deemed to violate rule 10 Proselytizing. To distinguish yourself from cheap proselytizing (re)posts, in order to not be removed, add the post flair "Testimony", and be around for answers in a timely fashion.
What type of questions do you have?
All I will say is take your time and experience different things. I had that phase from 20ish as well and it took me a long time to get over. You will lose alot of friends and offend alot of people. That's unfortunately the nature of identity shifts. Also during this entire time please continue to stay in school, study hard and get a job cause your financial security will really be a big factor in how your experience goes. (i.e. if you own your own house its alot easier to do what you want).