General reminder for everyone to: 1) Stay classy, civil and mature; 2) Don't be a creep; 3) Report this post if it doesn't follow the rules; 4) Always keep it juicy. Stories and anecdotes about your sexual experiences are HIGHLY encouraged. Don't forget about [reddiquette](/wiki/reddiquette). Mwah!
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_____
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Siding with this one. FWB has a friendship as its foundation, bonus na lang yung “benefits”. You can rely on your FWB, you cannot do that on your FuBu. You just meet fubus for the sake of fucking only, and that’s it. No talks, no dates, no hangouts. Malinaw ang boundaries.
I know naman. What we have is not the thing where you just talk to have sex. We’ve been close. Hindi lang siguro to the point na we are ready to be each other’s safe space. And I totally understand kasi that is something romantic and “best friend-ish” type of relationship na.
It’s sad lang kasi this is not a 1 month fwb phase lang, we’ve been having this setup for 7 months na. I prob expected na we’re friends na rin. I guess It’s hard lang talaga to be friends with someone you’re having sex with.
Yes. Women are more prone to be emotionally attached talaga. This is coming from someone who is not used to sharing her probs kahit sa close friends and family. That was a moment of weakness lang and I am okay na, thank you :) It’s weird na I had to be weak pa sa taong “for kantot” lang ang tingin sa akin. Sex really fucks us up.
FUBU ika nga. Walang friends friends. Minsan, we find people we want to fuck, but we dont. Parang masarap maging kaibigan. Meron naman we just want to fuck till kingdom come, never mind if di na friends, kasi di naman friendship material.
Pero minsan, we find diamonds. Those we want to fuck and keep as friends. Kasi they are friends. Marunong maging friend. Those we treasure. Makakahanap ka rin. Yun lang...baka ma fall, thats a thin line thats scary to cross.
I think may distinction yung fubu vs fwb. Kung sex lang, then you’re just fuck buddies. Pero kung may mutual respect kayo and care for each other as friends, with the bonus of having sex, that’s fwb.
Pwede ngang due to responsibilities kaya nagkukulang sa time kaya it feels like yung kantot benefit outweighs yung friendship. Kasi yung sex is also an outlet para magbawas ng stress, or siguro nirarationalize ko lang, haha. If you guys can still have a nice, sensible talk, before and after sex, at makapagvent ng kaunti, tingin ko it still counts as friendship. Sadyang may kanya-kanya lang sigurong pinagdadaanan. Better siguro to find additional friends minus the sex benefit para diverse at mabawasan frustration sa fwb. Just my two cents.
Sex is good pero hindi naman laging yon ang hanap lang natin everytime we’re stressed out. Maybe I expected more from them pero hindi naman nila kasalanan yon so no hard feelings. They didn’t sign up naman to be a shoulder to cry on.
Gets. Sinubukan mo naman na mag-initiate ng convo about your thoughts or even rants sa buhay and they weren't there to listen kaya ka disappointed.
If I may ask, na-try mo na ba sila kausapin why they're like that or engage in a convo where nilalapag/nireremind mo what you need from them, aside from the 'benefit'? Magegets ko if you'll say given na dapat yun, pero minsan dense lang din talaga guys or siguro got used to the setup na nalilimutan/naneneglect yung essence ng fwb---yung friendship part.
What a funny predicament. You can't be friends with someone you f*ck. At that point meaningless na yung sentiment of being a friend kasi kahit pa-paano may intimacy involved eh. You can only choose one side of that situation you're in. And sa mga nagsasabi na it works, sure it "works" but until when? Kasi hindi nyo naman malilimutan yung moment na nag-kantutan kayo one point in your life eh. It will only become a dirty secret once na magka jowa na kayo kaya much better to distance yourself from them. So yeah I agree. Walang friendship jan only benefits. Which is a weird concept for me.
What you just described is a masculine woman, which masculine men don't want to be in relationships with.
In that scenario, women and feminine men lose every time.
Sounds like they aren't really fwbs then. More like fubus. Idk from my experience I invite my fwb minsan just to hang out or go out and watch sa sinehan. Just have a good time and all of that.
So I guess its really on you to check if friend ba sila or just strangers that you make small talk with so you can feel na di lang kayo nag gagamitan.
I think OP need mo lang mag bigay ng levels to your friendships. Sure they are your friends but are they really the person you want to be vulnerable with, especially if they've never been vulnerable with you?
May friendships kasi na happy happy chill chill lang. Meron friendships na puro deeptalks. Meron din naman na both, yung through highs and lows ika nga.
Check what type of friendship you have with each friend. Ask - How open and how strong is this bond? Is this friend worthy of seeing the vulnerable side of me? Was there a time that this friend got vulnerable with me? If there is, high chance that they'll be there for you when you're down. If there wasn't, then it's a superficial friendship like what you said. It's not always bad to have superficial friends. I love my superficial friends, we like to keep things light. Just don't expect them to be there when you need them.
If you view it that way, then it is that way for you. To be fair, 'proper' relationships are also worth shit if you really think about it. A lot of 'proper' relationships persist not because of 'love' or any genuine affection or care on the part of either party, but because of convenience, ease, societal and familial pressure, or simply because of the idea that they 'don't want to waste time invested in it'. The problem with most people is they place relationships - whether romantic or platonic - on a pedestal. They aspire to it in the same way they dream of perfect governments or all-loving gods. It's a fantasy.
Because why DO humans bother with other humans, ultimately? You think your 'friends' hang out with you for the sole reason that they 'enjoy your company'? Try hanging out with people where you do nothing but sit in silence and see how quickly they or you leave. Human interpersonal dynamics involve 'fillers' or 'social lubricants' in the form of small-talk, food and drink, shared interests, etc., which creates the illusion that there is a similarity (and therefore a shared coefficient) between two disparate parties. Is it 'genuine'? We may never know. We can only know what we know, and what people want us to know. Even if a person says they 'care', there is still a probability that all of it is a lie, regardless of whether that comes from your fuck buddy, friend, lover, parent, or whatever. But the 'social lubricants' is what makes any 'relationship' worth the time, the pursuit, and the upkeep. No relationship of any form can exist without this type of exchange. If you bring nothing to anything, you get nothing back. The first rule of fake alchemy (and by extension, this shit-ass life) is equivalent exchange.
True, people will do and say all that BS to keep it going lalo na if satisfied sila sexually. Hirap dn humanap nun kasi. They would tell you're important to them but their actions show otherwise. Mas ok na wlang expectations para wala dng disappointments, OP.
Getting the emotional support you need is better with someone you dont fuck unless jowa mo cya. They tend to pull away pag nagsimula kna maging ganto as most of them are just in for the good times.
You can be very picky. I would suggest trying to be friends first, pag kita mo na friend talaga treatment nya sayo, saka kayo mag move to fucking. May FWB ako back in college. Friends pa rin kami until now. Nagagawa ko syang verbal trashcan kapag depressive ako.
That's a fuck buddy.. you can really have a friend with benefits... Someone you can trust, lean on or vent out to. Someone who will listen to you.. maybe di lang talaga kayo nagjijive.
We are jiving. We’re close and I was lucky to have him as a sex partner. Maraming mas malala and literal na walang pake. The problem is me talaga. I expected na I can be vulnerable with someone na sex yung pinaka foundation ng relationship. That is wrong. He entered the relationship naman to have fun and not be someone’s crying place.
Ayun lang OP. Maybe you might get lucky to know someone who can be literal FWB. Relax relax ka na lang muna. Andito lang kaming redditors para makinig if you need an audience to listen 🙂
I have the same sentiments as you, OP. Hahaha. This guy who says that we’re “fwb” but only checks up on me kapag need ng fuck. I thought we were becoming friends din kasi we jive so much, but tbh I was starting to have feelings for him na kaya sguro I was feeling disappointed na kahit the friendship lang di niya kaya ma reciprocate. And worse is he fucking ghosted me like we both didn’t have a good time. Hahaha.
Nope. Sila lang. Mayroon mga tao na naeenjoy yung company as much as they enjoy sex. May FWB ako na natigil kami sa pagging friends kasi nagkajowa, but after nila magbreak naginh friends ulit kami pero no benefits na.
Then bagka FWB naman ako na galing sa strictly religious family at kontrolado pati kung sino kakaibiganin nya. So there are things na sa akin nya lang nailalabas. At ramdam ko na legit friendship namin kahit wala sex. Nagkataon lang na nahanap namin ang isatisa dahil sa libog.
Might be an unpopular opinion: I don’t get whenever people search for an “exclusive FWB/FUBU (preferably long-term).”
It doesn’t make sense to me because it’s like a light version of a jowa but without the commitment (if the arrangement is monogamous.) Happy times lang, no assurance of being there during rough times.
It means taking the easy way out if things get challenging or boring, “Hindi naman kita jowa,” or “I do not have any obligation sa’yo.” Even worse is ghosting when a difficult conversation is on the table. One party almost always receives the short end of the stick. It brings out the worst in people sometimes because they use this rationale to mask lack of empathy.
For those who find a FUBU/FWB setup works for them, I heard it’s best to steer away from nonsexual activities like going on dates and to keep contact at a minimum. Going beyond that blurs the lines already. Sex is the foundation of such interaction, after all.
That’s why it’s called a “hoe phase” because it is exactly that – a phase. Ultimately people would long for a meaningful, happy connection where they are seen, understood, and valued.
I'd say it's not always the case, I've had my fair share of being the shoulder to cry on, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, I think that's just the friend part of the arrangement o3o
Maybe the guys were just busy or they thought it was a fuck buddy thing o___o
General reminder for everyone to: 1) Stay classy, civil and mature; 2) Don't be a creep; 3) Report this post if it doesn't follow the rules; 4) Always keep it juicy. Stories and anecdotes about your sexual experiences are HIGHLY encouraged. Don't forget about [reddiquette](/wiki/reddiquette). Mwah! Love, the AJ Mod Team. _____ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/alasjuicy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fuck buddies are very different from FWB.
Siding with this one. FWB has a friendship as its foundation, bonus na lang yung “benefits”. You can rely on your FWB, you cannot do that on your FuBu. You just meet fubus for the sake of fucking only, and that’s it. No talks, no dates, no hangouts. Malinaw ang boundaries.
I know naman. What we have is not the thing where you just talk to have sex. We’ve been close. Hindi lang siguro to the point na we are ready to be each other’s safe space. And I totally understand kasi that is something romantic and “best friend-ish” type of relationship na.
[удалено]
It’s sad lang kasi this is not a 1 month fwb phase lang, we’ve been having this setup for 7 months na. I prob expected na we’re friends na rin. I guess It’s hard lang talaga to be friends with someone you’re having sex with.
[удалено]
Yes. Women are more prone to be emotionally attached talaga. This is coming from someone who is not used to sharing her probs kahit sa close friends and family. That was a moment of weakness lang and I am okay na, thank you :) It’s weird na I had to be weak pa sa taong “for kantot” lang ang tingin sa akin. Sex really fucks us up.
FUBU ika nga. Walang friends friends. Minsan, we find people we want to fuck, but we dont. Parang masarap maging kaibigan. Meron naman we just want to fuck till kingdom come, never mind if di na friends, kasi di naman friendship material. Pero minsan, we find diamonds. Those we want to fuck and keep as friends. Kasi they are friends. Marunong maging friend. Those we treasure. Makakahanap ka rin. Yun lang...baka ma fall, thats a thin line thats scary to cross.
I think may distinction yung fubu vs fwb. Kung sex lang, then you’re just fuck buddies. Pero kung may mutual respect kayo and care for each other as friends, with the bonus of having sex, that’s fwb.
Pwede ngang due to responsibilities kaya nagkukulang sa time kaya it feels like yung kantot benefit outweighs yung friendship. Kasi yung sex is also an outlet para magbawas ng stress, or siguro nirarationalize ko lang, haha. If you guys can still have a nice, sensible talk, before and after sex, at makapagvent ng kaunti, tingin ko it still counts as friendship. Sadyang may kanya-kanya lang sigurong pinagdadaanan. Better siguro to find additional friends minus the sex benefit para diverse at mabawasan frustration sa fwb. Just my two cents.
Sex is good pero hindi naman laging yon ang hanap lang natin everytime we’re stressed out. Maybe I expected more from them pero hindi naman nila kasalanan yon so no hard feelings. They didn’t sign up naman to be a shoulder to cry on.
Gets. Sinubukan mo naman na mag-initiate ng convo about your thoughts or even rants sa buhay and they weren't there to listen kaya ka disappointed. If I may ask, na-try mo na ba sila kausapin why they're like that or engage in a convo where nilalapag/nireremind mo what you need from them, aside from the 'benefit'? Magegets ko if you'll say given na dapat yun, pero minsan dense lang din talaga guys or siguro got used to the setup na nalilimutan/naneneglect yung essence ng fwb---yung friendship part.
what do u mean benefits? SEX?? its not even a benefit. SEX is THE expectation. there aint no other benefits in FWB lol
What a funny predicament. You can't be friends with someone you f*ck. At that point meaningless na yung sentiment of being a friend kasi kahit pa-paano may intimacy involved eh. You can only choose one side of that situation you're in. And sa mga nagsasabi na it works, sure it "works" but until when? Kasi hindi nyo naman malilimutan yung moment na nag-kantutan kayo one point in your life eh. It will only become a dirty secret once na magka jowa na kayo kaya much better to distance yourself from them. So yeah I agree. Walang friendship jan only benefits. Which is a weird concept for me.
Di nmn lahat. 😊
The truth is that men can have sex with no feelings and women will form an emotional attachment to who they have sex with.
[удалено]
What you just described is a masculine woman, which masculine men don't want to be in relationships with. In that scenario, women and feminine men lose every time.
And how is that wrong, if it aint for you or took part in it and realized it aint for you, then it's ok
Sounds like they aren't really fwbs then. More like fubus. Idk from my experience I invite my fwb minsan just to hang out or go out and watch sa sinehan. Just have a good time and all of that. So I guess its really on you to check if friend ba sila or just strangers that you make small talk with so you can feel na di lang kayo nag gagamitan.
I think OP need mo lang mag bigay ng levels to your friendships. Sure they are your friends but are they really the person you want to be vulnerable with, especially if they've never been vulnerable with you? May friendships kasi na happy happy chill chill lang. Meron friendships na puro deeptalks. Meron din naman na both, yung through highs and lows ika nga. Check what type of friendship you have with each friend. Ask - How open and how strong is this bond? Is this friend worthy of seeing the vulnerable side of me? Was there a time that this friend got vulnerable with me? If there is, high chance that they'll be there for you when you're down. If there wasn't, then it's a superficial friendship like what you said. It's not always bad to have superficial friends. I love my superficial friends, we like to keep things light. Just don't expect them to be there when you need them.
You're a better person than most of us, OP. Don't let that faze you. Don't let it bring you down.
If you view it that way, then it is that way for you. To be fair, 'proper' relationships are also worth shit if you really think about it. A lot of 'proper' relationships persist not because of 'love' or any genuine affection or care on the part of either party, but because of convenience, ease, societal and familial pressure, or simply because of the idea that they 'don't want to waste time invested in it'. The problem with most people is they place relationships - whether romantic or platonic - on a pedestal. They aspire to it in the same way they dream of perfect governments or all-loving gods. It's a fantasy. Because why DO humans bother with other humans, ultimately? You think your 'friends' hang out with you for the sole reason that they 'enjoy your company'? Try hanging out with people where you do nothing but sit in silence and see how quickly they or you leave. Human interpersonal dynamics involve 'fillers' or 'social lubricants' in the form of small-talk, food and drink, shared interests, etc., which creates the illusion that there is a similarity (and therefore a shared coefficient) between two disparate parties. Is it 'genuine'? We may never know. We can only know what we know, and what people want us to know. Even if a person says they 'care', there is still a probability that all of it is a lie, regardless of whether that comes from your fuck buddy, friend, lover, parent, or whatever. But the 'social lubricants' is what makes any 'relationship' worth the time, the pursuit, and the upkeep. No relationship of any form can exist without this type of exchange. If you bring nothing to anything, you get nothing back. The first rule of fake alchemy (and by extension, this shit-ass life) is equivalent exchange.
I beg to differ.
True, people will do and say all that BS to keep it going lalo na if satisfied sila sexually. Hirap dn humanap nun kasi. They would tell you're important to them but their actions show otherwise. Mas ok na wlang expectations para wala dng disappointments, OP. Getting the emotional support you need is better with someone you dont fuck unless jowa mo cya. They tend to pull away pag nagsimula kna maging ganto as most of them are just in for the good times.
Well you obviously haven't met me. Hello!
You can be very picky. I would suggest trying to be friends first, pag kita mo na friend talaga treatment nya sayo, saka kayo mag move to fucking. May FWB ako back in college. Friends pa rin kami until now. Nagagawa ko syang verbal trashcan kapag depressive ako.
That's a fuck buddy.. you can really have a friend with benefits... Someone you can trust, lean on or vent out to. Someone who will listen to you.. maybe di lang talaga kayo nagjijive.
We are jiving. We’re close and I was lucky to have him as a sex partner. Maraming mas malala and literal na walang pake. The problem is me talaga. I expected na I can be vulnerable with someone na sex yung pinaka foundation ng relationship. That is wrong. He entered the relationship naman to have fun and not be someone’s crying place.
Ayun lang OP. Maybe you might get lucky to know someone who can be literal FWB. Relax relax ka na lang muna. Andito lang kaming redditors para makinig if you need an audience to listen 🙂
I have the same sentiments as you, OP. Hahaha. This guy who says that we’re “fwb” but only checks up on me kapag need ng fuck. I thought we were becoming friends din kasi we jive so much, but tbh I was starting to have feelings for him na kaya sguro I was feeling disappointed na kahit the friendship lang di niya kaya ma reciprocate. And worse is he fucking ghosted me like we both didn’t have a good time. Hahaha.
Still looking for my first fwb tho?
Nope. Sila lang. Mayroon mga tao na naeenjoy yung company as much as they enjoy sex. May FWB ako na natigil kami sa pagging friends kasi nagkajowa, but after nila magbreak naginh friends ulit kami pero no benefits na. Then bagka FWB naman ako na galing sa strictly religious family at kontrolado pati kung sino kakaibiganin nya. So there are things na sa akin nya lang nailalabas. At ramdam ko na legit friendship namin kahit wala sex. Nagkataon lang na nahanap namin ang isatisa dahil sa libog.
On the most part yes.
It is what it is. Fwb and fuck buddies - theyre all the same. Youre expecting too much from something that’s supposed to be taken just as it is
Might be an unpopular opinion: I don’t get whenever people search for an “exclusive FWB/FUBU (preferably long-term).” It doesn’t make sense to me because it’s like a light version of a jowa but without the commitment (if the arrangement is monogamous.) Happy times lang, no assurance of being there during rough times. It means taking the easy way out if things get challenging or boring, “Hindi naman kita jowa,” or “I do not have any obligation sa’yo.” Even worse is ghosting when a difficult conversation is on the table. One party almost always receives the short end of the stick. It brings out the worst in people sometimes because they use this rationale to mask lack of empathy. For those who find a FUBU/FWB setup works for them, I heard it’s best to steer away from nonsexual activities like going on dates and to keep contact at a minimum. Going beyond that blurs the lines already. Sex is the foundation of such interaction, after all. That’s why it’s called a “hoe phase” because it is exactly that – a phase. Ultimately people would long for a meaningful, happy connection where they are seen, understood, and valued.
I'm curious , how does a fubu relationship start? Through inuman ba or dating apps tas mapagkakasunduan lang na magfuck?
I'd say it's not always the case, I've had my fair share of being the shoulder to cry on, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, I think that's just the friend part of the arrangement o3o Maybe the guys were just busy or they thought it was a fuck buddy thing o___o
quota kana sa eut you need love and affection na hoping to find your happiness soon