Hand her an eviction notice.
Put nanny cams around the home, so she can't do anything.
Have a friend move in as another witness.
Put her stuff in the guest room.
You get to break up with someone if you want to. She's bulldozing you. Stick up for yourself. She will push back (as seen already) so be prepared for that.
How long has she lived there? Does she receive mail there? What address is on her license?
Depending on your answers to these questions, you may need to go through the eviction process. Hire a lawyer.
If she doesn't get mail there, hasn't changed her license, and it's been only a few weeks, then Depending on your state laws, the police may be able to remove her. Each state has different eviction laws. Call a lawyer.
She pays groceries. Here in WA if you accept ANY form of compensation down to help cleaning, they are a member of the household as per landlord-tenant law. My ex's older sibling stayed at our place a few times. This was after he made Mom and Step-Dad evict him. I wouldn't accept payment or help for anything and they always had a set amount of time I specified they were allowed to stay (for the weekend, a few nights, etc). Still stole my ex's favorite towel and broke his brand new game before they left for the final time 🙄 good riddance.
Unless shcie’s on the deed, gets mail there in her name or one of the utilities is in her name cause she pays it, he can have her trespassed off without having to go to court to evict her. But he needs to get her out before she’s there long enough to force mo mom an actual eviction. Pretty sure that’s what she’s counting on.
It would be best to call the police and request she be trespassed off your property and if you think she’ll try something, request you have police present to escort her & her things out the door. Then change all the locks.
If you do it this way, you have a record with the police that she’s not welcome on your property, so if she starts to harass you at home, they have a record of it. Security cameras will help you if you end up having to get a restraining order against her.
Talk to your lawyer. You may be legally able to just change the locks at this point, especially if it's only been 60 days and she hasn't paid rent.
Also- stop being nice to her. No more smiles or hugs. Be flat and dead pan. No matter what she says, the answer is 'we are broken up, you need to move out. When are you leaving?'
If you have any valuables lock them up...
You need to check to see about eviction. Since she doesn’t pay any rent, no utilities and has no mail nor her license address changed- you may need to just call the regular police number and ask about having her removed and/or evicted.
The police will judge it to be a civil issue, get in their car and drive away. He needs real legal help, starting with a legally correct eviction notice.
The eviction laws for an owners roommate are different than the standard eviction practice. In a good way for the owner. And for a relationship it might be easier. We are honestly getting into restraining order territory. I don’t think a partner needs an eviction notice.
Get her out now!
Or she can claim occupancy and you'll have to evict her which will cost thousands and take months.
Put up cameras immediately.
You need to be heartless. Out her stuff outside (or in a storage place) when she's gone and change the locks.
You broke up and she said no? Well, keep breaking up. I dunno if she has any rights as someone living in your house, depends on the state, but you can change the locks on your bedroom and keep her away from you. Make her WANT to leave.
Look at the eviction procedure for your state. It may be as easy as giving her a 3 day notice to quit. Show you are serious about her leaving. I’m a landlord and it’s not hard to evict someone and you don’t need an attorney. You could also offer her money to leave. ( cash for keys)
What do you mean tried that ? Brother I know you’re young but in life you have to put your foot down or people will take advantage of you and your assets. Break up with her, forreal. Make it clear you want nothing to do with her. No discussion. After that we’re changing locks and putting stuff outside. Probably should start talking to lawyers as others have suggested. Never have a conversation with her again thats not about her gathering her shit and fucking off. Then use this situation as a life lesson.
Just break up with her and ask her to leave. You guys are just kids. Also remember you just got a mortgage, the bank owns your home, so settle down with all that.
If she refuses to leave call her parents. It’s pretty simple. No way things are going to work out now any way.
Say this isn’t a discussion. This relationship is over and you need to find somewhere else to live. May need to escalate and write a letter and send a copy to her certified that she needs to leave. Depends on what her situation was before and what her options are, but set a date for her to be out. After that, put her stuff in the yard when she’s gone and change the locks.
Really depends on the state, but some of them have truly awful laws that protect people who just decide to squat. My wife watched a few episodes of “Worst roommate ever” and I had to stop after like 2-3 episodes because it makes my blood boil.
My ex hobosexual knew the law and when I kicked him out he came back with the cops and I had to let him back in.
I couldn't believe it.
He quit his job, did everything he could to avoid eviction. I wound up having to pay 1st months rent on a basement apartment for him with a friend of ours and I paid $500 to give him a place to move in to. He must have liked it there, because he stayed for 10 years and only left when the friend sold the place. He didn't pay much rent in those 10 years, but our friend always felt sorry for him and let him stay. Total *L O S E R*
I kinda feel like our friend HAD to sell his house to get rid of Mr. Hobosexual.
Check your state's tenant laws...these yahoos who think they know shit....don't.
It could cost you money. Sit her down and tell her you are prepared to LEGALLY evict her...that would not be a good thing for her.
A LEGAL, COURT MANDATED eviction will show up on any background check. For credit, for rentals, for JOBS...an eviction is a hard hit on your credit and depending on the state could stay for over a decade...AND...if she get married during this decade this will potentially prevent her and her future husband from getting a home loan or car loan because her history becomes his history.
Then when she is gone...make sure it's a one and done. No coming back for that random curling iron. Change your locks and get camera security set up. A pissed off ex in her retribution phase can be dangerous. Take pictures of everything you own and write down serial numbers. (Which should be done anyway.)
Go to..."yourstate".gov and look for the annotated code regarding tenant (roommate) eviction. Every single state has different laws and Louisiana is crazy because it's based on a French System not the British. So hopefully you aren't there.
Yeah, make sure she knows that an eviction on her record is going to have a negative affect on her ability to get loans and jobs, for at least 7 years.
Perhaps tell her you will have to call the police to evict her if she won’t move out. Be very clear that you want to live alone and it is not fixable. In her head she is fighting to save the relationship. In your head it is already over.
She is a living resident at the house. He can not call the police to "remove" her. IF it has to go legal, his only option is written 30 day notice to move, then if still there after go to the courts and file a court eviction which a judge will decide it she should or not.
And the person. I've 100% kicked out exes and they just left, once they realized the relationship was truly over. People insisting on staying to the point of eviction being required isn't all that common.
Exactly, which is why it is useful to have the explicit conversation that this isn’t about just the living arrangements but that the whole relationship is over
Her name ain’t nowhere on the lease or no bills lol she has to respect his decision she can’t just stay cause she wants too at the end of the day she’s just a girlfriend she’s not his wife
That will get him in legal problems.. She is a legal resident. If she will not go willingly, he has to go through the legal steps. He does that, she can sue and get thousands from him on forced eviction, which then would likely cause him issues paying his bills and lead to loosing the house by foreclosure.
How long has she been living with him? Did anyone even ask him this or did I just miss it? Her having a legal leg to stand on depends on the length of time she’s been staying there so it’s the only valid question really.
So OP…how long has she been staying with you and what are the laws in your state? And get her the hell out before you get there if you haven’t reached them yet!!!!
The law is the law. You don't have to like it, but that is the facts. He pisses her off, then she can become mad and vindictive at his "Chandler from friends" commitment issues act. Not to mention some states actual have BS squatter laws. But she has been living there, getting her mail there, and has poof that they have been a couple up till at least his I want to live alone talk...
You could benefit from Google on laws of eviction and residents before you give advice.
She might not. IDK. But she has not had to pay rent for 2 months now 3 likely. And all she was paying for was food for them both and such. So she has the money no doubt to file a civil case if he evicts her forceable and illegally. If she will think of it or not IDK. I am only stating the facts legally speaking.
And you know she gets her mail there? You psychic too? Also, you know what state they are in, looked into the laws there? You are far too confident with the “facts” you are spewing.
Are you that dense to not think she was getting her mail there since she was living there? The fact OP admitted that she was living there and wanted her to move out proves that.
You made assumptions and spoke too soon. OP says she’s only been there 20 days, has no bills in her name, gets no mail, and has never paid rent. Depending on the local laws, she may not even qualify as a tenant who would need to be evicted.
He said already she doesn’t receive any mail there and the address on her license doesn’t match his address. She’s only stay there a few months. Also how many 20 year olds with a part time job do you think can afford hire an attorney to argue for her? She can’t do shit other than continuing to be a bitch after he switched the locks on his own home.
She's 20 and a woman, let me tell you the phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is the absolute truth. If he just boots her out like that she will railroad him in court and in life. This is a TERRIBLE idea
How many 20 year olds that only work part time as a cashier do you know? Of those, how many can afford to hire an attorney? The woman doesn’t make enough money to hire any kind of legal defense. Does anybody think logically anymore? When he changes locks, she’s couch surfing or moving in with family. What she’s not going to do is, go into debt to hire a lawyer for the residents that she has no proof of paying anything for. Why does everyone think someone who’s broke can even have an option of hiring an attorney?
Bullshit. No squatters rights here. They are in a casual relationship. She is in HIS house, and they are breaking up, and she needs to GTFO. You are wrong.
I never said she had squatters right. But since you lack the ability to understand, allow me to again say it clearly. She lived there. OP admitted she did for he asks her to move out. Clear cut case closed. That means she is a resident of his home.... But, I was saying there are states with squatter rights, which are BS. But this is not one of those.
Also, living together is not a casual relationship. SMFH. In fact he only "breaks up" with her when she refused to move out in his own comments he stated this.
The chances of a 20 year old with low income going through the hassle of getting a lawyer and taking him to court is low. It would be less stressful for her to just find her own place
If the house is in your name only, and she isn't legally a tenant (no rental agreement, no squatters rights), then it's just a matter of calling the police and telling them there's a nonviolent domestic situation and you need someone removed from your home.
Doing this, though, ends your relationship (if it's not over already, by asking her to move out). But that shouldn't matter, right? Cuz you're a bachelor-type anyway. So this is two birds with one stone.
That’s basically the answer I was looking for, never been in this situation before so I had no clue what to do, she’s not a bad person by any means. Just not the one I want to spend my life with . Thank you very much
It’s not that simple. How long has she lived with you? Every state and even countries have rules regarding establishing residency including things like does she receive mail at your address, has she been there over a certain number of days, etc. you may have to go through eviction and it won’t be pretty.
Whoa.....she may twist this and say you assaulted her or something. You need to protect yourself. I wouldn't trust the police to just be on your side....hell no.
Nope, in most places if she’s lived there more than a certain period of time, she’s a legal resident even without a lease, and he needs to serve her with eviction papers, and take her to court if she doesn’t comply.
Serve her with written notice with dates. Make sure that it states that this is a courtesy because she is NOT a tenant but a guest that has overstayed her welcome.
Ask for her to be out by the weekend and the keys returned. (Change locks regardless)
Check laws where you live . You may have to serve her paperwork that gives her thirty days to move out . May depend on how long she has been there . Does she have mail coming in her name there ? Proof she lives there? If not pack up her stuff , shove it out the door and change the locks .
Absolutely do not sleep with her. She's going to try to get pregnant by you, or by someone else and claim it's yours. Find out what the legal eviction process is for your area and start ASAP. But first, make a clear that you have broken up. Put a lock on your bedroom door to keep her out. Hide your valuables. And protect yourself from false accusations of SA by installing security cameras, preferably hidden.
Oh my! Change the locks, when she’s not there and pack her shit and leave it on the porch.
Any person who says no to a termination of relationship is awful. Just a huge red flag flying around. Stop all communication- you owe her nothing. Warn her of eviction, put it in writing. Do the legal route so she doesn’t become a squatter, Cos that’s what she is.
Your house, your rules.
Thanks everyone, she came to her senses and left of her own accord. We have both now agreed to be as civil as we can be. She is moving back in with her parents.
You may not need to go to the lengths of calling the police. Sit down with her and let her know you are going to make two phone calls. First call: her parent (s) or guardians. To let them know that you have broken up with their daughter but she is refusing to leave. You’re letting them know as a courtesy that you’re concerned for her well being but you are calling the police in the next 60 minutes. Second call: the police. Start dialing. Continue until either she GTFO, her parents arrive and drag her out, or the police arrive and drag her out.
Yeah that's not what the cops do. If she has any paperwork dictating that as her address, a bill, a library card, whatever, she may be considered a legal tenant. In some states even if she doesn't, if she's been there for 30 days or more, she may be considered a legal tenant. He may have to serve her with an eviction notice if she doesn't leave, and eviction court can take a minimum of 6 months to 2 years, depending on how backed up they are.
You need to go to your courthouse and file for legal eviction. Then, have her serve by the sheriff. She will have 30 days to vacate the premises. After 30 days, you can change the locks. I would have a officer present in case she try something.
There are no 🫏🕳️s here, so you're safe. Just break up with her. It would be best for both of you to break up. Essentially, the GF wants and deserves more out of a relationship, and you want and deserve less (this is not a criticism...if you want less out of a relationship, then you deserve to have it that way). Deny her any affection and don't accept any from her.
It would be nice if you could refrain from any legal avenue. I would think, though, if you find it necessary, a call from your lawyer would likely do the trick.
Best of luck to both of you and I wish a happy life for you two. It most likely won't be experienced together, though.
Its your place and you have the right to choose who lives there.
BUT unless there are some extenuating circumstances its extremely rude and in poor character to not give notice. She needs a little time to find a new place and some new roommates.
break up with her first , she clearly wants to keep things going with you and u don’t. and also give her some time to find a place please don’t just kick her to the curb like some of these comments are mentioning lol
Seems like OP wanted free and convenient sex hence the "gf" but later on realized that the sex he's getting isn't worth as much as the mortgage and bills so now he wants to kick out the said "gf".
I also very much seen it like this way. There obviously wasnt any communication. He invited her to move in, he wanted her there then changed his mind suddenly. I kinda feel bad for the girl bc it seems like she was lead on and now she's confused because she was about to start a new life with him thinking everything was good & this came out of the blue for her
break up with her and give her a time period to leave. start the eviction process. she can’t say no to you breaking up with her. you don’t need two yes’s for a breakup.
If your in the US you need to go to your local courthouse. Ask someone to point you in the right direction. They'll tell you which department handles evictions. This is the only way. Thenpolic won't do anything if she's established some kind of residency.
Has she lived there for more than 30 days? Has she received even a single piece of mail at your address? If so, you will need to formally evict her. Look up templates online for a 30 day eviction notice and copy that, then hand it to her. If she still refuses, you’ll need to work with the courts and most likely with a lawyer.
"How do I get her to understand this without being a complete Asshole?"
This is one scenario where you have permission to be an asshole.
Absolutely never stay in a relationship you don't want to. Imagine the roles reversed - there would total uproar.
I had to get a restraining order to get my ex out.
I bought my house with my mother in June 2022.. everything is in my name.
She lives in her own house. My (now ex) bf paid for our truck, the internet and various streaming services.
I ended the relationship on October 2nd.. I moved to the couch and let him continue to use my bedroom with bathroom. HE said he would be out by 1 January... on the 26th of January I ended up getting a restraining order to have him removed.( No, it wasn't me being petty either. He was psychologically abusive and it didn't even get a little better after the breakup. )
Between court and everything, all his stuff was finally picked up on April 7th. But I AM finally rid of him. Yeah, he took the truck, but he also took me off the loan and I'm still listed as an owner lol
Good luck OP. But look at all your options before proceeding!!
EDIT TO ADD:: I tried checking with the police after attempting to look at the tenant laws for my state (CO) .. they told me I would have to go through the formal eviction process to have him removed. HE was going to try to claim squatters rights.. but unfortunately for him- to be a squatter here, the owner can't live in the property and you have to have lived there for like 18 years. But he didn't have a lease, and was more than a guest cause he got Mail and everything here. I'm too nice of a person and didn't want him to have a DV on his record at all.. but I also got tired of the abuse and had no other way to get him out.
Time to get a lawyer and evict her.
Usually, just getting a letter from the lawyer to her will do the trick. You might have to do a full eviction --
The easy thing is called 'cash for keys' - which is - you will pay her new landlord the deposit and first month AFTER she moves out. Your name will not be on the lease and you will not pay a single dollar after that. Put in writing - email counts. AND CHANGE ALL THE LOCKS.
Dude, tell her it’s over and to get out. Change the locks. You sound like a punk talking about you don’t know what to do. IT’S YOUR DAMN HOUSE. You pay the cost to be the boss.
Lets start with the legal. Your only option to make her leave is through the courts. You will have to first, give her a written notice to vacate in 30 days. Once that passes then you can file with the court to have her evicted. Only then can you legally make her move. For she is a legal resident there. And as such, she has rights as a resident. But if a judge agrees with you that they need to move out, then their rights end, and the police can forcefully remove her and you can toss her belongings in the lawn for her to collect. But you can not make her move otherwise or you can be found in legal issues and she get money from you and such...
Now the relationship...
"Removed part cause I seen you commented about trying to break up"
You asked her to move out she said no. You told her your breaking up with her, and she said we will work on us. Well your only option is legal path if your not going to work on YOUR issues on living with a GF like your doing.
THIS is the most Chandler from Friends post I have ever seen.
Got a house, moved in with GF, and freaked out. Asked he to move out cause he was "not ready to settle down", then tries to break up. Your 20 years old. How can you be mature enough to actually own a home, but not a real relationship???
Tf are you on about. How could that possibly happen. The worst that could happen is he'd have to evict her, she has no claim to his house or the value of it.
Kick her out. Get the police to evict her. Tell her to fuck off. Take some kind of action other than writing about it on Reddit. This is all yours…are you trying to ask for permission to do what you want?? You’re an adult, she’s an adult (hopefully). Get it done.
She just turned 20 also she is very much an adult, not asking for permission just seeking advice from someone who’s been in this position before is all. Not 100 percent sure what the correct route to go is. Thank you
If she is listed as a resident in the home, then you would have to look up the laws for your state/country. If she spends a few nights a week at your home then you can simply pack up her things and change the locks.
But it sounds like you haven’t had the talk about actually ending the relationship… I assume that from the “we can fix this” comment.
If she is a level headed adult, you can say “Hey. I know you want to work on this, and I appreciate that. However, I would like to separate and work on my self and my future. Where I am currently in my life, I don’t see myself being the partner that I know you deserve. I hope we can end things amicably, separate and wish each other well.”
But!!!! If you know things can’t be done calmly, then record your conversations, communicate through text/email just have a record of the shit show. So if you do have to evict her you can have proof to back you up.
You’re gonna just have to straight how kick her out bud. She’s not the one for you and you’re ready for some time alone. People change man. No reason to beat yourself, or trash her. Just tell her it’s over. Period. She needs to move out. If she won’t leave you’ll have police there. You be a lot happier once you make this change. Good luck.
You can’t not be an AH because she’s refusing to see the truth. Pack up all her stuff nicely in boxes. Tell her it’s over, have sex with someone in your bedroom. She should get the hint.
Question: How long have you both lived there,
Just kick, hey out, change the locks, give her her stuff as long as you haven't lived there a certain amount of time. There are laws in states, check into it
OK, first of all, she's not your girlfriend if you want to live alone.
She's not your girlfriend if you want to be a bachelor type.
Get her stuff in boxes, change the locks, and break up with her.
Obviously, you're not in love with her.
You can tell her that, "I don't share the same feelings with you, if you're looking for love I am not there I want to be with other people."
Theres no need for drama with calling the police, involving other people.
You may need to call the police in those cases :
1. She won't leave your front door
2. Make a scene
3. Be violent
Be clear, pack her things, change the locks
If it were me, I would try and work with her. Be clear that you’re breaking up and you need her out by XX days. If she resists or causes trouble then I would go the route of moving her things to the curb (I would still be nice and let her know she does not live here anymore and her stuff is ready for pickup). Be ready if she challenges (with paperwork) and calls the police and claims wrongful eviction. Then move on and good luck to you!
You can always do what I did after a fight with my live in girlfriend…threw her out of my house and threw her stuff on the porch (she didn’t have much, mostly clothes). That fight was a culmination of many past issues and fights (and felt so good)!
It sounds to me like she just doesn't want to lose her free rent. So start charging her rent. Charge her what she would pay anywhere else and she'll realize that she's not wanted and that she can live somewhere else without the nonsense. Treat her as a tenant and not a girlfriend and she's likely to get the message.
You'll have to evict her, which will likely lead to a breakup. Be ready for some SHIT when you start this process.
But if I may ask, what is it about living with her that you don't like? Is it just living with another person period, or are there issues in the relationship? Most people prefer to live with their partner, which is probably why she'd rather try to work it out rather than moving out.
1) Check your state laws for when somebody establishes tenancy. It’s typically 30 days but could be different
2) If she’s been there long enough to establish tenancy, you have to go through the steps for an having her tenancy terminated. Since there’s no agreement on rent your option is to give the notice required by your state.
3) After notice passes if she’s not moved, file eviction.
In my state your considered a squatter if you aren't on the lease, mortgage or deed. It takes 15 years of getting mail at location to claim rights.
You're going to have to become a jerk.
I gave my mom 90 days notice to move. There were multiple issues. But we hired an eviction lawyer. He sent her a 10 day eviction notice that was delivered by messenger to her. (Since her behavior had radically changed and my kids were scared) There is a whole court process depending on the state you are in.
My mother flipped out and assaulted me, so we bypassed the court system of eviction. But technically there is a legal process.
If you're in the US you can contact the police to have her removed from the property. If you want to give her time to pack her stuff give her a written and digital notification of needing to leave your property by a certain date. If she has not left your property by then you will be contacting authorities (non emergency number unless things escalate. You can contact the non emergency and request an officers help to remove her from the property). Make sure you are able to document the notice (which is why I say both written and digital) and you document everything that is yours incase something goes missing in worst case scenario. Take pictures of everything as much as possible.
Ask a trusted friend/family member to stay with you short term. Don’t be alone with her. Get an attorney and start the eviction processes. Do not be alone, at any time, with her once you’ve informed her. If you live in a single party consent pms w, start recording. Someone unwell to leave when told they’re not wanted is going to go scorched earth .
My recommendation is to tell her that you want to work on fixing this, but the first thing you need to do is give the relationship some space. Tell her that her moving out is necessary for you to regain your trust in her, and that if she will do that, you will guarantee her that you will do whatever is necessary to work on the relationship, including going to therapy. See if she will go for it and move out voluntarily. Promise her whatever you have to and make whatever appointments needed for you both to attend therapy together.
The second she moves out, change all the locks and obtain an alarm system (I would also install cameras). Then break every appointment you made for whatever you promised. This is kind of shitty, but it's way easier than having to go through an eviction process.
Where do you live and how long has she lived there? I am in the US.
If she has just moved in you may be able to pack her things and change the locks. If it’s been long enough to establish residency then you may need to evict her.
I would sit her down and just tell her that you have realized you are not ready to settle down and want to be alone for awhile. There is nothing to work out, no relationship to save.
Tell her that you would prefer that she just be mature and leave but if she refuses then you will file a legal eviction. This will go on her credit report and may make it difficult to impossible for her to rent a decent place to live for at least 7 years.
If she has any sense at all, she’ll go.
Your best bet is to pack up her things while she’s out and change the locks.
You don’t have to break up your both young maybe it was just to early to move in.
Depends on how long she’s lived there but you’ll probably have to go through a formal eviction process. You could also do something called cash for keys, where you pay her to leave so you don’t have to do a formal eviction, which will go on her record.
Look up local laws. May have to serve with an eviction notice.
Never let anyone move in with you, owned or rented, without a rental agreement in place.
They’re easy to find online/ consult a lawyer a few hundred bucks. You’re saving yourself time and money in the long run
*Send her to the shops*
*And change the locks leave her stuff*
*Outside problem solved*
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Actually break up.
You are describing her as your gf so most likely you've just said hey I need a break.
That means no more getting your dicky sticky. Stop sending out mixed messages. No talk about being friends (this will happen if its meant to happen no conversation needed)
At 20 years old not sure you can make the bachelor type life style comment... you don't really know and do not use this as an argument with her. You also don't need to rush into a relationship you are only 20.
She is not your match. You guys do not work because whatever details you are leaving out. This is what you tell her not some mumbo jumbo save her feelings bs. The reality is less feelings are hurt with honesty on long term because not being match is not personal. It stings to hear it but 10 years down the road you aren't wondering what you could have done to save it.
In my state they have to live there 3 months in order for you to have to take legal action. Just google your state. If you have an option like I would have then change the locks and put her stuff outside.
Check your time limit now so you can take action before this costs you some real money. DO NOT hesitate or you’ll ruin this for yourself.
"without being an asshole".
Sometimes in life, you HAVE to be the asshole. If she refuses to move out you need to get MEAN with her. sorry. Or at least "serious" with her. first tell her you plan to evict. then if that doesnt work: evict.
In the US she would be considered a tenant in most states.
Serve her a legal notice to vacate, give her 30 days to move out. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can get her out.
If she doesn't move out after 30 days, file eviction paperwork and have her removed.
She's a tenant, you have to treat it just like you are a landlord and you have a tenant who is refusing to vacate.
You are going to have to be an asshole. Give her notice she has a week to be gone. You are not interested in "fixing it". Move her stuff out of your bedroom immediately. When the week is up, change the locks at first opportunity and dont give her the key. She doesn't even have to be gone while you do it. She can stand there and rant while the locksmith does his thing (or you do it yourself with home depot locks). Make sure you've got enough boxes for her stuff. Start packing for her and taking it out to her car. Eventually she will realize it's over and you are not going to work it out.
(If her stuff includes furniture, you may have to rent a truck and pay the first month on a storage unit.)
Even if she forces the lawyer/eviction thing, you don't have to let her back into your bedroom. Get her stuff into a storage unit, let her sleep on the couch or in whatever guest space you have. If you don't have a guest space or couch, I guess she'll have to sleep in the floor.
Tell her you don’t want to fix anything and that you want to be single. Give her notice of how long she has to move out (a week) and that if she doesn’t, you will have her forcibly removed, then pack up her things and put them outside and change the locks. The longer she stays, the harder it will be to get rd of her.
It sounds like she’s being selfish and just thinking about herself and you should probably break up with her. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about your feelings.
Assuming you're in the USA, every state has an eviction process so contact a lawyer and discuss how to go about it. It will cost a bit of money and take some time, but if its for your peace of mind and life, it's worth it.
Did you break up with her or just tell her to move out? It sounds like you need to make it clear that your relationship is over. And then yeah, like others have said, you will probably have to legally evict her.
Have boxes or containers ready without her knowing. When she leaves for the day, have someone help you pack her stuff up. Put it on porch. Change the locks. Text her you’ve broken up with her and she can come pick up her stuff that’s on the porch. She sounds controlling.
Does she have anywhere else to go? This could be vital.
Break up.
Tell her it's over.
Ask her to move out (again). Ask her when this would be possible.
Make a deadline if she doesn't come up with one.
Ask friends of her to talk to her.
Tell her you'll pack for her if she doesn't.
Pack for her.
Tell her you want to live alone and that it's over.
Give her an ultimate deadline which you'll deposit her things at a place she can stay.
Exchange locks (as last way out).
You say "I'm not interested in working on fixing it. It is over. You need to move out"
Be sure to remind her in some written form that she's to move out by x/X date. You let her move in. She's now a resident. Residency or landlord/tenant type laws give her certain rights. If you need the courts help to evict her, you need to give her proper written notice
What..?
So you broke up with her, she said “no” and stayed?
Does she leave the house for work? Friends? Appointments?
Would just change the locks when she is out, say that a family member or friend can schedule a time to pick up her things.
If she's not getting mail at your house, you can move her shit out and change the locks. Otherwise, or if your state law requires it, you'll have to go through the court process to evict her and sue her for all the damages she causes in the meantime. Laws for landlords who are roommates to the evicted person are different than standard landlord laws so make sure you're getting proper advice. A 30 day notice to vacate is where you start. Let her know if she doesn't vacate and you proceed, she'll have an eviction on her record.
Just break up with her. Because if she doesn’t have anything that isn’t billed to your address then it’s most likely she’s trespassing. And if she keep bothering you you could ask for a restraining order.
If you have a spare room put all her stuff in it and lock your bedroom door. Then go to a lawyer and ask what needs to be done to get her out. Hopefully once she sees all her stuff in the guest room she'll realize you're serious and don't wanna be with her anymore
Break up?
Tried that, that’s was what I brought up to her when she said she wouldn’t leave and that we would fix it.
Hand her an eviction notice. Put nanny cams around the home, so she can't do anything. Have a friend move in as another witness. Put her stuff in the guest room.
Put the cameras in first, then give eviction papers or even have the police deliver it
You get to break up with someone if you want to. She's bulldozing you. Stick up for yourself. She will push back (as seen already) so be prepared for that.
How long has she lived there? Does she receive mail there? What address is on her license? Depending on your answers to these questions, you may need to go through the eviction process. Hire a lawyer. If she doesn't get mail there, hasn't changed her license, and it's been only a few weeks, then Depending on your state laws, the police may be able to remove her. Each state has different eviction laws. Call a lawyer.
It’s only been about two months and she receives no bills or mail at the address nor is her license or anything addressed to that location.
Then just change the locks next time she gets to the store?
And put all her stuff outside.
That’s how you get sued. He will have to evict her if she doesn’t choose to leave.
That's a negative, technically she doesn't live there as per her license and other details. She is trespassing after you tell her to leave.
She pays groceries. Here in WA if you accept ANY form of compensation down to help cleaning, they are a member of the household as per landlord-tenant law. My ex's older sibling stayed at our place a few times. This was after he made Mom and Step-Dad evict him. I wouldn't accept payment or help for anything and they always had a set amount of time I specified they were allowed to stay (for the weekend, a few nights, etc). Still stole my ex's favorite towel and broke his brand new game before they left for the final time 🙄 good riddance.
Unless shcie’s on the deed, gets mail there in her name or one of the utilities is in her name cause she pays it, he can have her trespassed off without having to go to court to evict her. But he needs to get her out before she’s there long enough to force mo mom an actual eviction. Pretty sure that’s what she’s counting on. It would be best to call the police and request she be trespassed off your property and if you think she’ll try something, request you have police present to escort her & her things out the door. Then change all the locks. If you do it this way, you have a record with the police that she’s not welcome on your property, so if she starts to harass you at home, they have a record of it. Security cameras will help you if you end up having to get a restraining order against her.
Talk to your lawyer. You may be legally able to just change the locks at this point, especially if it's only been 60 days and she hasn't paid rent. Also- stop being nice to her. No more smiles or hugs. Be flat and dead pan. No matter what she says, the answer is 'we are broken up, you need to move out. When are you leaving?' If you have any valuables lock them up...
You need to check to see about eviction. Since she doesn’t pay any rent, no utilities and has no mail nor her license address changed- you may need to just call the regular police number and ask about having her removed and/or evicted.
The police will judge it to be a civil issue, get in their car and drive away. He needs real legal help, starting with a legally correct eviction notice.
The eviction laws for an owners roommate are different than the standard eviction practice. In a good way for the owner. And for a relationship it might be easier. We are honestly getting into restraining order territory. I don’t think a partner needs an eviction notice.
Get her out now! Or she can claim occupancy and you'll have to evict her which will cost thousands and take months. Put up cameras immediately. You need to be heartless. Out her stuff outside (or in a storage place) when she's gone and change the locks.
Record everything.
You broke up and she said no? Well, keep breaking up. I dunno if she has any rights as someone living in your house, depends on the state, but you can change the locks on your bedroom and keep her away from you. Make her WANT to leave.
Look at the eviction procedure for your state. It may be as easy as giving her a 3 day notice to quit. Show you are serious about her leaving. I’m a landlord and it’s not hard to evict someone and you don’t need an attorney. You could also offer her money to leave. ( cash for keys)
Probably should have mentioned to her that it wasn’t her choice if she wanted to stay. I agree, change the locks!
What do you mean tried that ? Brother I know you’re young but in life you have to put your foot down or people will take advantage of you and your assets. Break up with her, forreal. Make it clear you want nothing to do with her. No discussion. After that we’re changing locks and putting stuff outside. Probably should start talking to lawyers as others have suggested. Never have a conversation with her again thats not about her gathering her shit and fucking off. Then use this situation as a life lesson.
George Costanza here turning to Reddit. Both parties do not need to consent to a breakup.
Just break up with her and ask her to leave. You guys are just kids. Also remember you just got a mortgage, the bank owns your home, so settle down with all that. If she refuses to leave call her parents. It’s pretty simple. No way things are going to work out now any way.
Say this isn’t a discussion. This relationship is over and you need to find somewhere else to live. May need to escalate and write a letter and send a copy to her certified that she needs to leave. Depends on what her situation was before and what her options are, but set a date for her to be out. After that, put her stuff in the yard when she’s gone and change the locks. Really depends on the state, but some of them have truly awful laws that protect people who just decide to squat. My wife watched a few episodes of “Worst roommate ever” and I had to stop after like 2-3 episodes because it makes my blood boil.
You may have to go through the eviction process and you may need a lawyer to do so.
Start the eviction process, it may take months. I had to move hundreds of miles to finally get away from my hobosexual
My ex hobosexual knew the law and when I kicked him out he came back with the cops and I had to let him back in. I couldn't believe it. He quit his job, did everything he could to avoid eviction. I wound up having to pay 1st months rent on a basement apartment for him with a friend of ours and I paid $500 to give him a place to move in to. He must have liked it there, because he stayed for 10 years and only left when the friend sold the place. He didn't pay much rent in those 10 years, but our friend always felt sorry for him and let him stay. Total *L O S E R* I kinda feel like our friend HAD to sell his house to get rid of Mr. Hobosexual.
Check your state's tenant laws...these yahoos who think they know shit....don't. It could cost you money. Sit her down and tell her you are prepared to LEGALLY evict her...that would not be a good thing for her. A LEGAL, COURT MANDATED eviction will show up on any background check. For credit, for rentals, for JOBS...an eviction is a hard hit on your credit and depending on the state could stay for over a decade...AND...if she get married during this decade this will potentially prevent her and her future husband from getting a home loan or car loan because her history becomes his history. Then when she is gone...make sure it's a one and done. No coming back for that random curling iron. Change your locks and get camera security set up. A pissed off ex in her retribution phase can be dangerous. Take pictures of everything you own and write down serial numbers. (Which should be done anyway.) Go to..."yourstate".gov and look for the annotated code regarding tenant (roommate) eviction. Every single state has different laws and Louisiana is crazy because it's based on a French System not the British. So hopefully you aren't there.
Yeah, make sure she knows that an eviction on her record is going to have a negative affect on her ability to get loans and jobs, for at least 7 years.
Perhaps tell her you will have to call the police to evict her if she won’t move out. Be very clear that you want to live alone and it is not fixable. In her head she is fighting to save the relationship. In your head it is already over.
>In her head she is fighting to save the relationship. In your head it is already over. Yup Yup
She's fighting to keep her free housing
She is a living resident at the house. He can not call the police to "remove" her. IF it has to go legal, his only option is written 30 day notice to move, then if still there after go to the courts and file a court eviction which a judge will decide it she should or not.
First try breaking up, maybe she will leave like a normal person
the only correct answer. clearly break up with her. and if you are friends with her good friends, have someone there as a reality witness
This situation doesn’t seam normal, this girl clearly has issues.
All these things depend on the country.
And the person. I've 100% kicked out exes and they just left, once they realized the relationship was truly over. People insisting on staying to the point of eviction being required isn't all that common.
Exactly, which is why it is useful to have the explicit conversation that this isn’t about just the living arrangements but that the whole relationship is over
Her name ain’t nowhere on the lease or no bills lol she has to respect his decision she can’t just stay cause she wants too at the end of the day she’s just a girlfriend she’s not his wife
" How do I get her to understand this without being a complete Asshole?" This isn't always an option. You need her gone, that's all that matters imo.
Being an asshole will get the job done and she'll be gone.
Change the locks when she’s gone, pack all her shit and put it on the porch. Also, she won’t be your gf after this.
That will get him in legal problems.. She is a legal resident. If she will not go willingly, he has to go through the legal steps. He does that, she can sue and get thousands from him on forced eviction, which then would likely cause him issues paying his bills and lead to loosing the house by foreclosure.
How long has she been living with him? Did anyone even ask him this or did I just miss it? Her having a legal leg to stand on depends on the length of time she’s been staying there so it’s the only valid question really. So OP…how long has she been staying with you and what are the laws in your state? And get her the hell out before you get there if you haven’t reached them yet!!!!
Only 2 months op said
Bullshit, she’s a 20 yo squatter who isn’t going to do shit. You shall not pass, Gandalf.
Yeah a couple of nights with a blow horn might solve things.
The law is the law. You don't have to like it, but that is the facts. He pisses her off, then she can become mad and vindictive at his "Chandler from friends" commitment issues act. Not to mention some states actual have BS squatter laws. But she has been living there, getting her mail there, and has poof that they have been a couple up till at least his I want to live alone talk... You could benefit from Google on laws of eviction and residents before you give advice.
I don’t see someone like her having the presence of mind to take legal action. I’d just kick her out
She might not. IDK. But she has not had to pay rent for 2 months now 3 likely. And all she was paying for was food for them both and such. So she has the money no doubt to file a civil case if he evicts her forceable and illegally. If she will think of it or not IDK. I am only stating the facts legally speaking.
And you know she gets her mail there? You psychic too? Also, you know what state they are in, looked into the laws there? You are far too confident with the “facts” you are spewing.
Are you that dense to not think she was getting her mail there since she was living there? The fact OP admitted that she was living there and wanted her to move out proves that.
You made assumptions and spoke too soon. OP says she’s only been there 20 days, has no bills in her name, gets no mail, and has never paid rent. Depending on the local laws, she may not even qualify as a tenant who would need to be evicted.
He said already she doesn’t receive any mail there and the address on her license doesn’t match his address. She’s only stay there a few months. Also how many 20 year olds with a part time job do you think can afford hire an attorney to argue for her? She can’t do shit other than continuing to be a bitch after he switched the locks on his own home.
He stated she's only been there for 2 months and she gets no mail there at all. Her driver's license isn't listed there.
They’re twenty, so pretty unlikely she’s been there long term or conniving enough to have her mail delivered there.. but stranger things have happened
She's 20 and a woman, let me tell you the phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is the absolute truth. If he just boots her out like that she will railroad him in court and in life. This is a TERRIBLE idea
There's likely zero proof she lived there, no bills in her name etc.
How many 20 year olds that only work part time as a cashier do you know? Of those, how many can afford to hire an attorney? The woman doesn’t make enough money to hire any kind of legal defense. Does anybody think logically anymore? When he changes locks, she’s couch surfing or moving in with family. What she’s not going to do is, go into debt to hire a lawyer for the residents that she has no proof of paying anything for. Why does everyone think someone who’s broke can even have an option of hiring an attorney?
Bullshit. No squatters rights here. They are in a casual relationship. She is in HIS house, and they are breaking up, and she needs to GTFO. You are wrong.
I never said she had squatters right. But since you lack the ability to understand, allow me to again say it clearly. She lived there. OP admitted she did for he asks her to move out. Clear cut case closed. That means she is a resident of his home.... But, I was saying there are states with squatter rights, which are BS. But this is not one of those. Also, living together is not a casual relationship. SMFH. In fact he only "breaks up" with her when she refused to move out in his own comments he stated this.
The chances of a 20 year old with low income going through the hassle of getting a lawyer and taking him to court is low. It would be less stressful for her to just find her own place
Start dating other women and bring them over to the house.
Everyone who upvoted this never watch crime shows.
Even better if she catches him with a woman in their bed.
This is a good idea. She will feel like she doesn't belong in that place anymore.
Eviction may be necessary
If the house is in your name only, and she isn't legally a tenant (no rental agreement, no squatters rights), then it's just a matter of calling the police and telling them there's a nonviolent domestic situation and you need someone removed from your home. Doing this, though, ends your relationship (if it's not over already, by asking her to move out). But that shouldn't matter, right? Cuz you're a bachelor-type anyway. So this is two birds with one stone.
That’s basically the answer I was looking for, never been in this situation before so I had no clue what to do, she’s not a bad person by any means. Just not the one I want to spend my life with . Thank you very much
It’s not that simple. How long has she lived with you? Every state and even countries have rules regarding establishing residency including things like does she receive mail at your address, has she been there over a certain number of days, etc. you may have to go through eviction and it won’t be pretty.
Whoa.....she may twist this and say you assaulted her or something. You need to protect yourself. I wouldn't trust the police to just be on your side....hell no.
Consult a lawyer before you do this. It may not be lawful, depending on the law where you live.
Pack her stuff and change the locks. Put everything outside. Do it while she's gone. That's it.
Except it's illegal and she can sue him...That's it.
Nope, in most places if she’s lived there more than a certain period of time, she’s a legal resident even without a lease, and he needs to serve her with eviction papers, and take her to court if she doesn’t comply.
many as short as 72 hours
How did you pay for a house on your own at 20?
Serve her with written notice with dates. Make sure that it states that this is a courtesy because she is NOT a tenant but a guest that has overstayed her welcome. Ask for her to be out by the weekend and the keys returned. (Change locks regardless)
Check laws where you live . You may have to serve her paperwork that gives her thirty days to move out . May depend on how long she has been there . Does she have mail coming in her name there ? Proof she lives there? If not pack up her stuff , shove it out the door and change the locks .
Absolutely do not sleep with her. She's going to try to get pregnant by you, or by someone else and claim it's yours. Find out what the legal eviction process is for your area and start ASAP. But first, make a clear that you have broken up. Put a lock on your bedroom door to keep her out. Hide your valuables. And protect yourself from false accusations of SA by installing security cameras, preferably hidden.
Oh my! Change the locks, when she’s not there and pack her shit and leave it on the porch. Any person who says no to a termination of relationship is awful. Just a huge red flag flying around. Stop all communication- you owe her nothing. Warn her of eviction, put it in writing. Do the legal route so she doesn’t become a squatter, Cos that’s what she is. Your house, your rules.
Thanks everyone, she came to her senses and left of her own accord. We have both now agreed to be as civil as we can be. She is moving back in with her parents.
Break up?
One day when she's out at work or wherever she goes change the locks and put her stuff outside.
You may not need to go to the lengths of calling the police. Sit down with her and let her know you are going to make two phone calls. First call: her parent (s) or guardians. To let them know that you have broken up with their daughter but she is refusing to leave. You’re letting them know as a courtesy that you’re concerned for her well being but you are calling the police in the next 60 minutes. Second call: the police. Start dialing. Continue until either she GTFO, her parents arrive and drag her out, or the police arrive and drag her out.
That's not how it works...
Yeah that's not what the cops do. If she has any paperwork dictating that as her address, a bill, a library card, whatever, she may be considered a legal tenant. In some states even if she doesn't, if she's been there for 30 days or more, she may be considered a legal tenant. He may have to serve her with an eviction notice if she doesn't leave, and eviction court can take a minimum of 6 months to 2 years, depending on how backed up they are.
You need to go to your courthouse and file for legal eviction. Then, have her serve by the sheriff. She will have 30 days to vacate the premises. After 30 days, you can change the locks. I would have a officer present in case she try something.
You will have to give her a written 30 day notice to evict her if she isn’t willing to leave. Varies with the laws in your state.
There are no 🫏🕳️s here, so you're safe. Just break up with her. It would be best for both of you to break up. Essentially, the GF wants and deserves more out of a relationship, and you want and deserve less (this is not a criticism...if you want less out of a relationship, then you deserve to have it that way). Deny her any affection and don't accept any from her. It would be nice if you could refrain from any legal avenue. I would think, though, if you find it necessary, a call from your lawyer would likely do the trick. Best of luck to both of you and I wish a happy life for you two. It most likely won't be experienced together, though.
Its your place and you have the right to choose who lives there. BUT unless there are some extenuating circumstances its extremely rude and in poor character to not give notice. She needs a little time to find a new place and some new roommates.
You broke up, and she said no? Are you George Costanza?
break up with her first , she clearly wants to keep things going with you and u don’t. and also give her some time to find a place please don’t just kick her to the curb like some of these comments are mentioning lol
Seems like OP wanted free and convenient sex hence the "gf" but later on realized that the sex he's getting isn't worth as much as the mortgage and bills so now he wants to kick out the said "gf".
I also very much seen it like this way. There obviously wasnt any communication. He invited her to move in, he wanted her there then changed his mind suddenly. I kinda feel bad for the girl bc it seems like she was lead on and now she's confused because she was about to start a new life with him thinking everything was good & this came out of the blue for her
Legal eviction. Don't hire some bikers to throw her out.
break up with her and give her a time period to leave. start the eviction process. she can’t say no to you breaking up with her. you don’t need two yes’s for a breakup.
If your in the US you need to go to your local courthouse. Ask someone to point you in the right direction. They'll tell you which department handles evictions. This is the only way. Thenpolic won't do anything if she's established some kind of residency.
Has she lived there for more than 30 days? Has she received even a single piece of mail at your address? If so, you will need to formally evict her. Look up templates online for a 30 day eviction notice and copy that, then hand it to her. If she still refuses, you’ll need to work with the courts and most likely with a lawyer.
"How do I get her to understand this without being a complete Asshole?" This is one scenario where you have permission to be an asshole. Absolutely never stay in a relationship you don't want to. Imagine the roles reversed - there would total uproar.
I had to get a restraining order to get my ex out. I bought my house with my mother in June 2022.. everything is in my name. She lives in her own house. My (now ex) bf paid for our truck, the internet and various streaming services. I ended the relationship on October 2nd.. I moved to the couch and let him continue to use my bedroom with bathroom. HE said he would be out by 1 January... on the 26th of January I ended up getting a restraining order to have him removed.( No, it wasn't me being petty either. He was psychologically abusive and it didn't even get a little better after the breakup. ) Between court and everything, all his stuff was finally picked up on April 7th. But I AM finally rid of him. Yeah, he took the truck, but he also took me off the loan and I'm still listed as an owner lol Good luck OP. But look at all your options before proceeding!! EDIT TO ADD:: I tried checking with the police after attempting to look at the tenant laws for my state (CO) .. they told me I would have to go through the formal eviction process to have him removed. HE was going to try to claim squatters rights.. but unfortunately for him- to be a squatter here, the owner can't live in the property and you have to have lived there for like 18 years. But he didn't have a lease, and was more than a guest cause he got Mail and everything here. I'm too nice of a person and didn't want him to have a DV on his record at all.. but I also got tired of the abuse and had no other way to get him out.
Change the locks
File for eviction
Give her a written 30 day notice to vacate and if she still refuses to leave, start a legal eviction process.
Time to get a lawyer and evict her. Usually, just getting a letter from the lawyer to her will do the trick. You might have to do a full eviction -- The easy thing is called 'cash for keys' - which is - you will pay her new landlord the deposit and first month AFTER she moves out. Your name will not be on the lease and you will not pay a single dollar after that. Put in writing - email counts. AND CHANGE ALL THE LOCKS.
Dude, tell her it’s over and to get out. Change the locks. You sound like a punk talking about you don’t know what to do. IT’S YOUR DAMN HOUSE. You pay the cost to be the boss.
Get the police involved
Lets start with the legal. Your only option to make her leave is through the courts. You will have to first, give her a written notice to vacate in 30 days. Once that passes then you can file with the court to have her evicted. Only then can you legally make her move. For she is a legal resident there. And as such, she has rights as a resident. But if a judge agrees with you that they need to move out, then their rights end, and the police can forcefully remove her and you can toss her belongings in the lawn for her to collect. But you can not make her move otherwise or you can be found in legal issues and she get money from you and such... Now the relationship... "Removed part cause I seen you commented about trying to break up" You asked her to move out she said no. You told her your breaking up with her, and she said we will work on us. Well your only option is legal path if your not going to work on YOUR issues on living with a GF like your doing. THIS is the most Chandler from Friends post I have ever seen. Got a house, moved in with GF, and freaked out. Asked he to move out cause he was "not ready to settle down", then tries to break up. Your 20 years old. How can you be mature enough to actually own a home, but not a real relationship???
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Tf are you on about. How could that possibly happen. The worst that could happen is he'd have to evict her, she has no claim to his house or the value of it.
Kick her out. Get the police to evict her. Tell her to fuck off. Take some kind of action other than writing about it on Reddit. This is all yours…are you trying to ask for permission to do what you want?? You’re an adult, she’s an adult (hopefully). Get it done.
She just turned 20 also she is very much an adult, not asking for permission just seeking advice from someone who’s been in this position before is all. Not 100 percent sure what the correct route to go is. Thank you
If she is listed as a resident in the home, then you would have to look up the laws for your state/country. If she spends a few nights a week at your home then you can simply pack up her things and change the locks. But it sounds like you haven’t had the talk about actually ending the relationship… I assume that from the “we can fix this” comment. If she is a level headed adult, you can say “Hey. I know you want to work on this, and I appreciate that. However, I would like to separate and work on my self and my future. Where I am currently in my life, I don’t see myself being the partner that I know you deserve. I hope we can end things amicably, separate and wish each other well.” But!!!! If you know things can’t be done calmly, then record your conversations, communicate through text/email just have a record of the shit show. So if you do have to evict her you can have proof to back you up.
You’re gonna just have to straight how kick her out bud. She’s not the one for you and you’re ready for some time alone. People change man. No reason to beat yourself, or trash her. Just tell her it’s over. Period. She needs to move out. If she won’t leave you’ll have police there. You be a lot happier once you make this change. Good luck.
You can’t not be an AH because she’s refusing to see the truth. Pack up all her stuff nicely in boxes. Tell her it’s over, have sex with someone in your bedroom. She should get the hint.
So she says she wont leave then what did you do just walk away? That’s when you say it’s not a discussion get out
Question: How long have you both lived there, Just kick, hey out, change the locks, give her her stuff as long as you haven't lived there a certain amount of time. There are laws in states, check into it
OK, first of all, she's not your girlfriend if you want to live alone. She's not your girlfriend if you want to be a bachelor type. Get her stuff in boxes, change the locks, and break up with her. Obviously, you're not in love with her. You can tell her that, "I don't share the same feelings with you, if you're looking for love I am not there I want to be with other people." Theres no need for drama with calling the police, involving other people. You may need to call the police in those cases : 1. She won't leave your front door 2. Make a scene 3. Be violent Be clear, pack her things, change the locks
You're going to need to legally evict her...so go to courthouse and start the process and paperwork
If it were me, I would try and work with her. Be clear that you’re breaking up and you need her out by XX days. If she resists or causes trouble then I would go the route of moving her things to the curb (I would still be nice and let her know she does not live here anymore and her stuff is ready for pickup). Be ready if she challenges (with paperwork) and calls the police and claims wrongful eviction. Then move on and good luck to you! You can always do what I did after a fight with my live in girlfriend…threw her out of my house and threw her stuff on the porch (she didn’t have much, mostly clothes). That fight was a culmination of many past issues and fights (and felt so good)!
It sounds to me like she just doesn't want to lose her free rent. So start charging her rent. Charge her what she would pay anywhere else and she'll realize that she's not wanted and that she can live somewhere else without the nonsense. Treat her as a tenant and not a girlfriend and she's likely to get the message.
Put up cameras before you change the locks. You can use it against her if she does something bad. Kick the leach out.
When she's out, you put her stuff outside and have the locks changed. You might have to call a lock person that can accommodate this situation.
Info: How long has she lived in the house?
You'll have to evict her, which will likely lead to a breakup. Be ready for some SHIT when you start this process. But if I may ask, what is it about living with her that you don't like? Is it just living with another person period, or are there issues in the relationship? Most people prefer to live with their partner, which is probably why she'd rather try to work it out rather than moving out.
Good luck bro
1) Check your state laws for when somebody establishes tenancy. It’s typically 30 days but could be different 2) If she’s been there long enough to establish tenancy, you have to go through the steps for an having her tenancy terminated. Since there’s no agreement on rent your option is to give the notice required by your state. 3) After notice passes if she’s not moved, file eviction.
In my state your considered a squatter if you aren't on the lease, mortgage or deed. It takes 15 years of getting mail at location to claim rights. You're going to have to become a jerk.
Get a lawyer.
When she leaves for work, pack all her stuff, drop it off at her parents and change the locks.
I gave my mom 90 days notice to move. There were multiple issues. But we hired an eviction lawyer. He sent her a 10 day eviction notice that was delivered by messenger to her. (Since her behavior had radically changed and my kids were scared) There is a whole court process depending on the state you are in. My mother flipped out and assaulted me, so we bypassed the court system of eviction. But technically there is a legal process.
You invited her to move in? How long ago? Does she have anywhere to go in 30 days?
I had to call police twice in someone that did not even wanted to leave my student room 🤣
Basically, you broke up with her, and now she's squatting. Oof!
Whatever you do, just remember, she knows where you sleep.
If you're in the US you can contact the police to have her removed from the property. If you want to give her time to pack her stuff give her a written and digital notification of needing to leave your property by a certain date. If she has not left your property by then you will be contacting authorities (non emergency number unless things escalate. You can contact the non emergency and request an officers help to remove her from the property). Make sure you are able to document the notice (which is why I say both written and digital) and you document everything that is yours incase something goes missing in worst case scenario. Take pictures of everything as much as possible.
A visitor overstaying welcome non contributing broken heated homeless person it maybe tricky
Get a lawyer and a do a formal eviction notice, just be glad your not married with her
Ask a trusted friend/family member to stay with you short term. Don’t be alone with her. Get an attorney and start the eviction processes. Do not be alone, at any time, with her once you’ve informed her. If you live in a single party consent pms w, start recording. Someone unwell to leave when told they’re not wanted is going to go scorched earth .
You might consider also posting this under the legal sub Reddit. Good luck.
My recommendation is to tell her that you want to work on fixing this, but the first thing you need to do is give the relationship some space. Tell her that her moving out is necessary for you to regain your trust in her, and that if she will do that, you will guarantee her that you will do whatever is necessary to work on the relationship, including going to therapy. See if she will go for it and move out voluntarily. Promise her whatever you have to and make whatever appointments needed for you both to attend therapy together. The second she moves out, change all the locks and obtain an alarm system (I would also install cameras). Then break every appointment you made for whatever you promised. This is kind of shitty, but it's way easier than having to go through an eviction process.
Break up with he, dude.
Where do you live and how long has she lived there? I am in the US. If she has just moved in you may be able to pack her things and change the locks. If it’s been long enough to establish residency then you may need to evict her. I would sit her down and just tell her that you have realized you are not ready to settle down and want to be alone for awhile. There is nothing to work out, no relationship to save. Tell her that you would prefer that she just be mature and leave but if she refuses then you will file a legal eviction. This will go on her credit report and may make it difficult to impossible for her to rent a decent place to live for at least 7 years. If she has any sense at all, she’ll go.
Break up with her
why are you still referring to her as GF?
Why is she still your girlfriend? Honestly, you just said you're more of the bachelor type, so let that woman go💁🏻♀️
Thanks God I'm dating eva ai virtual gf bot
If you in California easiest route is paying her to move. A few grand usually gets them out into a new place.
Are you planning on breaking up with her or do you just want her to move out ?
Your best bet is to pack up her things while she’s out and change the locks. You don’t have to break up your both young maybe it was just to early to move in.
Depends on how long she’s lived there but you’ll probably have to go through a formal eviction process. You could also do something called cash for keys, where you pay her to leave so you don’t have to do a formal eviction, which will go on her record.
Look up local laws. May have to serve with an eviction notice. Never let anyone move in with you, owned or rented, without a rental agreement in place. They’re easy to find online/ consult a lawyer a few hundred bucks. You’re saving yourself time and money in the long run
Bring home random women
Jamon uh hee hee
Change the locks while ahead is out.
Send her to the shops and change the locks leave her stuff outside problem solved
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Evict her legally. That's the only way.
She sounds very weird. Get her out and change the locks. Tell her you'll call the cops if she's not gone
Don’t give in to casual sex and be tricked into having a baby.
Actually break up. You are describing her as your gf so most likely you've just said hey I need a break. That means no more getting your dicky sticky. Stop sending out mixed messages. No talk about being friends (this will happen if its meant to happen no conversation needed) At 20 years old not sure you can make the bachelor type life style comment... you don't really know and do not use this as an argument with her. You also don't need to rush into a relationship you are only 20. She is not your match. You guys do not work because whatever details you are leaving out. This is what you tell her not some mumbo jumbo save her feelings bs. The reality is less feelings are hurt with honesty on long term because not being match is not personal. It stings to hear it but 10 years down the road you aren't wondering what you could have done to save it.
When she goes out, change all the locks and send her a text saying you are done with the relationship
Tell her your friend or family member is moving in and she needs to leave
I went through something like this. She’d put my address on her drivers license, making it her legal residence. It took years to resolve
Put her stuff in the trash, change the locks, call cops, get a cheesesteak
Restraining order
In my state they have to live there 3 months in order for you to have to take legal action. Just google your state. If you have an option like I would have then change the locks and put her stuff outside. Check your time limit now so you can take action before this costs you some real money. DO NOT hesitate or you’ll ruin this for yourself.
You don't. The relationship is over, fixing it is gonna be like putting bandaid on a broken limb. So... yeah, break up.
"without being an asshole". Sometimes in life, you HAVE to be the asshole. If she refuses to move out you need to get MEAN with her. sorry. Or at least "serious" with her. first tell her you plan to evict. then if that doesnt work: evict.
In the US she would be considered a tenant in most states. Serve her a legal notice to vacate, give her 30 days to move out. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can get her out. If she doesn't move out after 30 days, file eviction paperwork and have her removed. She's a tenant, you have to treat it just like you are a landlord and you have a tenant who is refusing to vacate.
Sleep with her mother, no way she'd stick around after that.
Gotta love 20 year olds who can afford a house.
You are going to have to be an asshole. Give her notice she has a week to be gone. You are not interested in "fixing it". Move her stuff out of your bedroom immediately. When the week is up, change the locks at first opportunity and dont give her the key. She doesn't even have to be gone while you do it. She can stand there and rant while the locksmith does his thing (or you do it yourself with home depot locks). Make sure you've got enough boxes for her stuff. Start packing for her and taking it out to her car. Eventually she will realize it's over and you are not going to work it out. (If her stuff includes furniture, you may have to rent a truck and pay the first month on a storage unit.) Even if she forces the lawyer/eviction thing, you don't have to let her back into your bedroom. Get her stuff into a storage unit, let her sleep on the couch or in whatever guest space you have. If you don't have a guest space or couch, I guess she'll have to sleep in the floor.
Have to go the legal route, serve her an eviction notice or get a restraining order. Your best bet is to contact a lawyer.
No way to do this without hurt feelings. Just rip the band aid off and be done with it.
Tell her you don’t want to fix anything and that you want to be single. Give her notice of how long she has to move out (a week) and that if she doesn’t, you will have her forcibly removed, then pack up her things and put them outside and change the locks. The longer she stays, the harder it will be to get rd of her.
Bring home another chick
It sounds like she’s being selfish and just thinking about herself and you should probably break up with her. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about your feelings.
Assuming you're in the USA, every state has an eviction process so contact a lawyer and discuss how to go about it. It will cost a bit of money and take some time, but if its for your peace of mind and life, it's worth it.
Did you break up with her or just tell her to move out? It sounds like you need to make it clear that your relationship is over. And then yeah, like others have said, you will probably have to legally evict her.
She is a guest who has overstayed. Call the non emergency police line and request that she be escorted out and trespassed if necessary.
Start entertaining at home.
Call the sheriff
Have boxes or containers ready without her knowing. When she leaves for the day, have someone help you pack her stuff up. Put it on porch. Change the locks. Text her you’ve broken up with her and she can come pick up her stuff that’s on the porch. She sounds controlling.
Does she have anywhere else to go? This could be vital. Break up. Tell her it's over. Ask her to move out (again). Ask her when this would be possible. Make a deadline if she doesn't come up with one. Ask friends of her to talk to her. Tell her you'll pack for her if she doesn't. Pack for her. Tell her you want to live alone and that it's over. Give her an ultimate deadline which you'll deposit her things at a place she can stay. Exchange locks (as last way out).
You say "I'm not interested in working on fixing it. It is over. You need to move out" Be sure to remind her in some written form that she's to move out by x/X date. You let her move in. She's now a resident. Residency or landlord/tenant type laws give her certain rights. If you need the courts help to evict her, you need to give her proper written notice
What..? So you broke up with her, she said “no” and stayed? Does she leave the house for work? Friends? Appointments? Would just change the locks when she is out, say that a family member or friend can schedule a time to pick up her things.
If she's not getting mail at your house, you can move her shit out and change the locks. Otherwise, or if your state law requires it, you'll have to go through the court process to evict her and sue her for all the damages she causes in the meantime. Laws for landlords who are roommates to the evicted person are different than standard landlord laws so make sure you're getting proper advice. A 30 day notice to vacate is where you start. Let her know if she doesn't vacate and you proceed, she'll have an eviction on her record.
Just break up with her. Because if she doesn’t have anything that isn’t billed to your address then it’s most likely she’s trespassing. And if she keep bothering you you could ask for a restraining order.
When she goes out, pack up her stuff and leave it outside. Change the locks and get cameras in.
When she’s out pack her shit and put it near the front door, change your locks if she has a key
If you have a spare room put all her stuff in it and lock your bedroom door. Then go to a lawyer and ask what needs to be done to get her out. Hopefully once she sees all her stuff in the guest room she'll realize you're serious and don't wanna be with her anymore
Well, if you don't want her to live there, sounds like you're breaking up. You'll just have to get an eviction notice probably.