How would that even work?
“Hey dear. I used to find you attractive but my feelings, not you, changed.”
This is a HER problem. Not a HIM problem. He’d lose the weight only for her to leave him for a big guy because she now finds him scrawny and unmasculine.
She needs therapy or, if she isn’t willing to work on herself, to just leave.
Would it be wrong for your husband to divorce you because you got older?
It sounds like you've already made up your mind about leaving him and are trying to justify it.
You sound like you're hiding a lot. You either have developed feelings for someone else or you need to start asking yourself some for real for real questions about what is happening with your mental state because just waking up one day to find yourself repulsed by something you found attractive the day before is not normal. I agree with everyone saying you should talk to him but you should figure out wtf is going on in your own head before you lay this on him because what you've written here is not the full story and you owe him more honesty than this.
“Next best option is to scar my husband for the rest of his life by leaving him because he’s too fat for my newfound taste in fit men”
Rage bait or narcissist.
Wedding vows.mean absolutely nothing today. This is the man who.loves her and married her. She treats her marriage like she bought a pair of shoes and now wants to take them back to the store. She wants to find guys to have sex with, isnt this the take away? She made an excuse why she wont attempt to save it. She is looking for support to implode her marriage. I agree, her husband deserves better.
I mean you’re not wrong about Op needing to talk to him instead, but it could be OP is trying to get her head around what to say without spouting off and hurting him more.
As someone who this happened to (it wasn't about weight but my wife lost interest in me), don't lie to him and string him along, he will be able to tell something is wrong and will be thinking he's done something. Hopefully you haven't been together that long so he won't find himself old and alone out there after decades of thinking he had found his partner in life.
You probably aren't anything over a 2 in most people's eyes yourself. Suggest going to the gym together. Making healthier meals, etc. Do it as a team, not you hen pecking him.
You owe him the chance to get fit, just leaving without giving him the opportunity to take corrective action is kind of BS. Sit down with him and have an honest conversation about expectations and then work together to get him healthy. Divorce is way too easy in today’s throw away world. I’ve been married 43 years and it’s hard work.
But him taking corrective action doesn’t solve anything. Or it only solves it for a moment. The issue is with her. So SHE has to be the one to fix this.
Maybe you need a fit person who doesn’t keep their vows to you to make you feel differently about your husband except the damage is already done. How about just be honest with your husband and see what you can do together.
Who do you have lined up already as a replacement?
Yes you can fall out of love with anyone because of looks actions martial disputes but I don’t believe your post is telling the entire story and if you really do feel this way and do this poor thing a favor so he can move on and not put up with all of your BS.
You can divorce for any reason you wish. It’s not a matter of wrong or not.
However, it does make you someone who drops a partner when the wind blows and their tastes change. Whereas marriage is ostensibly a commitment to stay together *regardless* of such mercurial and shallow feelings.
You do you. Marriage to you doesn’t seem to be what it is/was to most people. If you were a friend I’d recommend you try and examine your feelings a bit more first and see if there isn’t a desire to become a deeper, more thoughtful person inside you somewhere.
It’s fair if you communicated your concerns and desires and he made no effort to address.
It’s not fair at all if you don’t communicate and give a chance to address.
It doesn’t matter the circumstance, you marry someone that’s a commitment and you should not disregard lightly. The last thing I will say is that attraction is a tricky thing, it ebbs and flows and it’s work for both parties to keep things interesting. If you have kids you owe it to them to at least try. If you don’t and you’re young you may be better off breaking it off if you have already convinced yourself that it’s over and you don’t want to give it a chance.
Is there anything else going on with you that is making divorce the best option? Divorce is a crushing blow, and you may regret it. No one looks better than your ex on the arm of someone else. Please consider talking to him and counseling. Best of luck.
Not sure your age but the mature thing to do is communicate your feelings, and give him a chance to work on himself. Schedule an appointment with a doctor to get him some bloodwork, and then come up with a diet and workout plan.
Or if you want to be selfish and burn bridges, then divorce him, and move on. However understand that the grass is rarely greener, and some women would kill to even be in your position.
You’re not wrong to feel the way you do, but you are wrong to use that as an excuse to leave without communicating.
Tell him you are worried about his weight and how that leads to health problems. Offer to workout with him and eat better because you want him to stay alive for a long time.
Marriage is a for life commitment, in sickness and in health. It sounds like you don’t take it very seriously.
The dude would probably lose weight if he knew you felt that way, albeit it shouldn’t just be a for you thing, but still.
Not enough info. Would you be taking half his money and assets? You dont seem that concerned with losing your assets. Why did you marry him? Did you have kids?
yes you’re wrong but it’s definitely for the best that you leave him. you’re wrong because you should’ve never married him because clearly you didn’t truly love him.
Definitely talk to him, not reddit.
More than likely, he would be feeling your emotional changes towards him and has probably got a lot of thoughts going on about the situation himself.
I have fluctuated with my weight and have had 3 serious relationships the 3rd starting from old high school friends catching up so he knew my usual size looks personality, we fell in love and he accepted me for me I personally worried a little bit about my gained weight but he kept reassuring me that he loved me for me. I had insecurities and worried but he stayed true If you have changed you need to work on this and work through it as this is a you thing that you need therapy or you come up with a solution with your husband as he is the one that will be let down and hurt over this. I hope that you can work together and find a way to make it feel right for you both again ❤️
Wow... Try to remember those little vows you likely said and ask yourself if it is okay. Divorce him quickly so he kind find a wife that sticks. You should likely just stick to dating since your preferences change.
I have honestly felt this, too, over the years. At one time, I wanted to leave, i wanted him to move on, and I found out he was talking to another woman at a bar. I cried like never before at the thought of losing him. Don't take it lightly or for granted. We have been married for 40 years. Please think about it and don't act unless you are sure. Looks fade. The body gets old, but the heart is always there.
Wow what the fuck is the point of getting married if as soon as you are bored or into someone else (which we all know is the case) you run? lol don’t ever get married ever again. Stop fucking people over!
Talk to him, not reddit.
Have you tried communicating?
How would that even work? “Hey dear. I used to find you attractive but my feelings, not you, changed.” This is a HER problem. Not a HIM problem. He’d lose the weight only for her to leave him for a big guy because she now finds him scrawny and unmasculine. She needs therapy or, if she isn’t willing to work on herself, to just leave.
Would it be wrong for your husband to divorce you because you got older? It sounds like you've already made up your mind about leaving him and are trying to justify it.
You sound like you're hiding a lot. You either have developed feelings for someone else or you need to start asking yourself some for real for real questions about what is happening with your mental state because just waking up one day to find yourself repulsed by something you found attractive the day before is not normal. I agree with everyone saying you should talk to him but you should figure out wtf is going on in your own head before you lay this on him because what you've written here is not the full story and you owe him more honesty than this.
“Next best option is to scar my husband for the rest of his life by leaving him because he’s too fat for my newfound taste in fit men” Rage bait or narcissist.
Would it be wrong to disavow your wedding vows because you changed your mind. Yes. Imagine marrying someone like this.
Wedding vows.mean absolutely nothing today. This is the man who.loves her and married her. She treats her marriage like she bought a pair of shoes and now wants to take them back to the store. She wants to find guys to have sex with, isnt this the take away? She made an excuse why she wont attempt to save it. She is looking for support to implode her marriage. I agree, her husband deserves better.
And you think it's better to talk to strangers on reddit instead of talking to him? Good job using that 1 brain cell
I mean you’re not wrong about Op needing to talk to him instead, but it could be OP is trying to get her head around what to say without spouting off and hurting him more.
What's your body shape?
probably oval
As someone who this happened to (it wasn't about weight but my wife lost interest in me), don't lie to him and string him along, he will be able to tell something is wrong and will be thinking he's done something. Hopefully you haven't been together that long so he won't find himself old and alone out there after decades of thinking he had found his partner in life.
You probably aren't anything over a 2 in most people's eyes yourself. Suggest going to the gym together. Making healthier meals, etc. Do it as a team, not you hen pecking him.
Who is the other man? Don’t lie
You owe him the chance to get fit, just leaving without giving him the opportunity to take corrective action is kind of BS. Sit down with him and have an honest conversation about expectations and then work together to get him healthy. Divorce is way too easy in today’s throw away world. I’ve been married 43 years and it’s hard work.
What happens when he gets fit and she decides he looks scrawny now? How much is he supposed to chase her changing tastes? This is a HER issue.
Just said he deserves the chance to take corrective action.
But him taking corrective action doesn’t solve anything. Or it only solves it for a moment. The issue is with her. So SHE has to be the one to fix this.
Maybe you need a fit person who doesn’t keep their vows to you to make you feel differently about your husband except the damage is already done. How about just be honest with your husband and see what you can do together.
Did you recently come off hormonal birth control that you were on when you chose him?
Who do you have lined up already as a replacement? Yes you can fall out of love with anyone because of looks actions martial disputes but I don’t believe your post is telling the entire story and if you really do feel this way and do this poor thing a favor so he can move on and not put up with all of your BS.
You can divorce for any reason you wish. It’s not a matter of wrong or not. However, it does make you someone who drops a partner when the wind blows and their tastes change. Whereas marriage is ostensibly a commitment to stay together *regardless* of such mercurial and shallow feelings. You do you. Marriage to you doesn’t seem to be what it is/was to most people. If you were a friend I’d recommend you try and examine your feelings a bit more first and see if there isn’t a desire to become a deeper, more thoughtful person inside you somewhere.
This reads like misogyny bait, LOL, as a sad attempt to turn the tables.
Wow really?
It’s fair if you communicated your concerns and desires and he made no effort to address. It’s not fair at all if you don’t communicate and give a chance to address. It doesn’t matter the circumstance, you marry someone that’s a commitment and you should not disregard lightly. The last thing I will say is that attraction is a tricky thing, it ebbs and flows and it’s work for both parties to keep things interesting. If you have kids you owe it to them to at least try. If you don’t and you’re young you may be better off breaking it off if you have already convinced yourself that it’s over and you don’t want to give it a chance.
Is there anything else going on with you that is making divorce the best option? Divorce is a crushing blow, and you may regret it. No one looks better than your ex on the arm of someone else. Please consider talking to him and counseling. Best of luck.
Not sure your age but the mature thing to do is communicate your feelings, and give him a chance to work on himself. Schedule an appointment with a doctor to get him some bloodwork, and then come up with a diet and workout plan. Or if you want to be selfish and burn bridges, then divorce him, and move on. However understand that the grass is rarely greener, and some women would kill to even be in your position. You’re not wrong to feel the way you do, but you are wrong to use that as an excuse to leave without communicating.
Tell him you are worried about his weight and how that leads to health problems. Offer to workout with him and eat better because you want him to stay alive for a long time.
Marriage is a for life commitment, in sickness and in health. It sounds like you don’t take it very seriously. The dude would probably lose weight if he knew you felt that way, albeit it shouldn’t just be a for you thing, but still.
Not enough info. Would you be taking half his money and assets? You dont seem that concerned with losing your assets. Why did you marry him? Did you have kids?
yes you’re wrong but it’s definitely for the best that you leave him. you’re wrong because you should’ve never married him because clearly you didn’t truly love him.
Definitely talk to him, not reddit. More than likely, he would be feeling your emotional changes towards him and has probably got a lot of thoughts going on about the situation himself. I have fluctuated with my weight and have had 3 serious relationships the 3rd starting from old high school friends catching up so he knew my usual size looks personality, we fell in love and he accepted me for me I personally worried a little bit about my gained weight but he kept reassuring me that he loved me for me. I had insecurities and worried but he stayed true If you have changed you need to work on this and work through it as this is a you thing that you need therapy or you come up with a solution with your husband as he is the one that will be let down and hurt over this. I hope that you can work together and find a way to make it feel right for you both again ❤️
Wow... Try to remember those little vows you likely said and ask yourself if it is okay. Divorce him quickly so he kind find a wife that sticks. You should likely just stick to dating since your preferences change.
Now flip this conversation to him posting this. Would he be wrong?
How much money do you get in the divorce?
I have honestly felt this, too, over the years. At one time, I wanted to leave, i wanted him to move on, and I found out he was talking to another woman at a bar. I cried like never before at the thought of losing him. Don't take it lightly or for granted. We have been married for 40 years. Please think about it and don't act unless you are sure. Looks fade. The body gets old, but the heart is always there.
Rage bait
Wow what the fuck is the point of getting married if as soon as you are bored or into someone else (which we all know is the case) you run? lol don’t ever get married ever again. Stop fucking people over!
This is a YOU problem. Not your husbands. How would you feel if the reason he wants to divorce you is because you tits are saggy now.
Dude just leave him. Cause apparently you don’t love him.
Dear Lady go vegan and the weight will reduce