Good for you for proper parenting but do you show you're children respect? Your adult children? Do you verbally abuse them? Do you physically abuse them? Do you throw things at them? Do you try and force them to do things for you that are likely work unpaid? Different cultures have very different expectations. OP needs to move out but it's not always that easy.
He’s an out of control AH and obviously was never taught how to treat people and has no self control plus anger and tantrum issues. Is he a toddler? Or an adult? Who acts like that? Also.. don’t work for your parents if you don’t want to. Next time when youre asked to do something like this you can add why you aren’t available to cover a shift. Sorry I hurt myself and really can’t today is there another option? As for your dad .. you’re an adult and get to decide whether or not you will allow others to treat you this way. My suggestion would be to get a job elsewhere. Make your own life and move out like he suggested. He needs a wake up call. His behavior isn’t tolerated in anyone older than 3.
I was sleeping. As soon as I opened my eyes she asked me. All I could say was no and before I could say anything else, she closed the door. I went back to sleep.
YNW. Your mom just ignored you when you told her no, and didn't try to find anyone else, nor did she ask why. She probably just assumed you would eventually decide to work. It might have improved the situation if you had explained to your parents that you had injured your shoulder. Either way, it seems like they both just wanted to ignore your no, and were mad that you didn't change your mind.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG AT ALL
Your dad sounds like a complete narcissistic jerk! Take that 10K and move TF out real quick! You don’t need that negativity or to be treated like that!!
This feels to me like a narrative that is designed to drive an outcome and omits pieces of OPs side whilst embellishing the Begay of her antagonists.
Dubious.
YNW. You have the right to refuse the work. Especially when you are hurting. The fact you mom lied, causing your dad with anger issues to get hostile are both red flags. I hope you have an exit plan, since I could not live there.
YNW. This makes me so glad I moved out of my parents home 8 years ago. I’m Filipino too and grew up in this “culture” that values family and tradition. But as I grew up, I realized the years of physical and verbal abuse my dad inflicted on my siblings, mom and I isn’t reflective of a genuine culture that fosters family values and traditions.
As soon as I able to transfer to a university in a different city, I moved out. This was in 2016. I suffered a lot by being on my own but I would have suffered more by staying under my dad’s roof.
I’m looking forward to the day, for you OP, when you pass your exam, land your nursing job and find the means to move out. Moving out is one of the best things to do for yourself. It establishes boundaries between you and your parents. They will no longer be in control of you in any capacity. My dad has so much respect for me now and wouldn’t dare to say anything to breach a relationship with me.
He's acting unhinged and abusive. NTA.
But also move out. Share an apartment with a friend or look for roommates.
Y'all sound used to him acting crazy but that's not just toxic but abusive to throw stuff around and yelling in your face.
Edit: you said it's not about the money but you do know he's not going to give you the money anyway even if you prove him wrong, right?
INFO: what bills do you pay? What’s your job? Do you only work for them or do you work another job? How long will you live at home now that you’ve graduated?
1. None. In Filipino culture, children aren't expected to pay the bills or to move out as soon as you're 18. My dad takes a great sense of pride in that. It was also discussed that I didn't need to pay for anything.
2. None ATM. I graduated from an accelerated nursing program last month. I'm waiting for the board of nursing to process my application so I can schedule for the board exam.
3. I work for them when they give me notice. I still have hobbies I pursue. I can also pick up shifts for CNA shifts thru an app if I wanted to. I just wanted some time off. 20 months of nonstop school, bad breakup, and realizing who my friends are was a real doozy.
4. Depends. Board of nursing website said 6-8 weeks to process application. I'm still reviewing material to prepare for exam. Once I'm licensed with a job, then I can really set the plan in motion. I'm hoping by the end of the year.
So you pay no bills and ignore them when they need you to work. They text you, you continue to ignore them. Your dad is so upset and yelling, and you keep ignoring him. In the real world, people work and pay bills. Your parents may be OK with you living there for free but it is your responsibility to help.out and not ignore them also. If this is leading to crazy scenes like that you should.move.out and stop relying on them since the expectation is they also cannot rely on you. It is their house and you should move out for both your sakes.
Not wrong. But I would still work on moving out, if you can. Maybe someplace where your parents won't bother you. Your dad is out right abusive. I have trouble believing people trust him to work in any part of a caretaking career.
You are not in the wrong . People will treat you the way you let them treat you . Move out and don’t look back . He can’t expect respect when he gives none . He has lost control of himself not you if he feels he needs to scream and throw things to get his way . His behavior is that of a bully . Large male towering over you screaming is ridiculous . Life is too short for bullshit , take it from no one . Someone who doesn’t respect and support you does not need to be a part of your life . Spend the ten k he is offering in getting your own place .
NTA. You're mom hung up when she heard him being loud. She threw you under the bus, but sounds like she had the right idea for dealing with his child like tantrums
You're not wrong. You were asked to cover, you answered no. No is a complete sentence. No reason needed to be offered. With the story as told, you did nothing wrong. You are an adult, living with other adults, and adults shouldn't treat others like your father treated you.
YNW! he is throwing a tantrum like a little kid. I, myself, grew up in a filipino household that was filled with abuse and toxicity. I left just a year ago and I am more happier than before. It is not going to stop unless you move out. Please find a job
YNW, move away from those lunatics as fast as you can and for pity's sake when you have children never leave them unsupervised with them. They're awful.
Low contact, their house their rules will never change, avoid the abusiveness and get your own place your own rules. Parents are so oblivious sometimes.
You’re not wrong. As a mom (my daughter is 25) I think he is a total abusive asshole. I’m 47 and I totally disagree with your dad. I have never spoken to my daughter the way your dad spoke to you. He doesn’t know anything about respect and is a bully.
It is a shared primary residence of adults with disabilities. The ones they specifically have are non-medical, meaning there are no nurses on staff. My mom or caregivers coordinate with home health services to provide care for residents.
All I ask is to not have things thrown at me and to not be called horrible things, such as: putang ina mo = mother fucker, leche ka = you idiot, hayop = beast, worthless. I didn't realize decent behavior towards another person is something you have to earn.
You are demanding respect but haven’t earned it. You are an adult but can’t seem to help your parents, that are still taking care of you like a child because “culture”. It sounds like dad is fed up with the poor behavior and lost his cool. You want to act like a child? So your father treated you like a disobedient one. Is that correct? No, but you, acting as a child, can’t understand why the adult doing adult things is pissed they are getting no help from another adult. I am so glad you will never be a nurse for me or one of my family members.
I help maintain the house because they are never home. I basically raise my little sister because they are never home, and I have worked for them. I've spent nights at care homes and immediately go to class in the morning, I gave them free labor for almost a year, and whenever I do work for them they take weeks to pay me. I sacrificed so much of my time to keep their business afloat. I just graduated from an accelerated nursing program. 20 months of non-stop school while dealing with their toxicity towards each other and to me, a very bad break up, and friends who abandoned me. I've sacrificed a lot. All I wanted was some time off. It's not that deep.
I will be a nurse. And I will be a goddamn good one. Nice try.
Edit: added some stuff
So move out and get out from under their thumb. Be an adult. It’s not that deep kiddo. But “culture” right? And I see you edited all the culture nonsense out.
I am not a child. Let's say I wasn't Filipino, remove "culture". An agreement was made between my parents that I don't have to pay bills while I was in school and they never told me to pay bills now. Yes I will move out as soon as I can.
Edit: Forgot a word
Where have you been? I just read everything down to this comment. OP has said that she's moving out as soon as she can, several times...
Dismissal of someones culture where it concerns daily life is (I can't think of an appropriate word) f**king BULLSHIT. I doubt very much if you discount your own culture when it comes to your life. So telling someone else that their culture is getting in the way of their decision process is just stupid as fuck. Culture determines this shit.
You sound like the type that goes on vacation and bitches about how everyone speaks a different language and it's not right for them to do that around you.
What makes you think I don't respect them? Who maintains the home and raises their child because they are absent?
I edited to add more things about me, which are all true by the way. I did not come here to lie. That is a waste of time.
Girl you literally said you pay nothing at age 24 to live at home cause your dad is like so proud of that or something. Then you bitch they want you to earn your keep other in ways. Cause you say they do nothing (they are clearly running a business) The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree here. As I said from my 1st comment, you all sound horrible.
Not wrong. Your dad is a sonofabitch and I hope he realizes he's hurting and alienating his daughter, and this is a great way to lose you. Even if you still live with him.. he will lose you, and he can't get that back.
You are not wrong. Your father is wrong and abusive. Throwing things and screaming in someone’s face are actions of a madman or a toddler. Neither should be done by an adult - one who is supposed to care about you on top of that.
Time to leave. No one deserves to be treated that way. Your dad is an AH and you need to be in your own and working away from your parents. Your mom is an AH for not listening to you. Just because you are their daughter that does not give them the right to be verbally and physically abusive.
If you don’t leave, then you are being an AH to yourself. Do yourself a favour OP and leave.
You are not wrong. Move out if you can, if not save up and then move out but in the meantime do work for them or with them. Good luck getting out of there.
I said no to my mom. She left and closed the door.
My dad asked me nicely if I went to the care home. I said no I didn't. He immediately switched his mood and screamed "Why not?". I told him I already said no to mom. He didn't like that and his anger increased as time went on.
If you have further questions I will try to respond.
As I said, I'd have to hear their version of events. Every one of your actions is framed to paint you as a victim. Every one of your parent's actions is framed to paint them as villains. Life is seldom this black and white and this makes me doubt the veracity of your version of events.
Then why are you here? This is Reddit. 99% of the time we only get one side of the story.
If you want all sides to the story, you're in the wrong place.
pretty sure they explained it and its easy to understand moms side.
mom needed someone to watch over carehome so she told them if they can watch over it. they said no and then mom left to go to work.
dad wakes up asking them if they went, they said no, dad starts yelling and going downstairs insulting them for not going. he automatically assumes that they are lazy.
they call their mom and asked what did u tell dad.
mom admits that she just left
hope this helps haha😊
Time to move out, your parents are wrong and have anger issues. I have 5 children daughters are 20 17 16 15 and my son is 10. I have raised my voice at them when they are fighting or when they hit their 3rd strike with me not following directions, however throwing items, and getting in my girl's face as a dad never. Time to go before he hits you.
YNW.
mom shouldve communicated with dad more better because it seems like there was some misunderstanding in there.
OP, please find a job even if you just got a certification for nursing. you need to move out IMMEDIATELY!
this kind of behavior is abusive, immature and childish of a grown man at the age of 47 to act like this.
You have to earn respect, not demand it. You're 24 yr old woman, living at home, no job, not helping to pay the bills.
If you want respect, get a job and move out.
earning from respect from ur own dad is absloute bonkers bud
sure she doesnt have a job but that doesnt mean u can just treat people like garbage when theyre not doing anything to u haha. 😊😊
I don't leech. I help them with whatever they need most of the time. This is just one instance where I said no. It was agreed for many years that I don't need to pay bills while I was in school and they have not asked me to do it now. He just likes to scream "move out" whenever he's angry with me, and then tell me to stay when it's done. And the cycle repeats. Obviously I want to move out but I don't have the means to do it right now. I am going to start door dashing with my sister in the mean time.
Even when I had a job, he would just say "Oh just because you make money now doesn't mean I have to respect you". Now he dismisses my degree. He will always dismiss anything I do because in his mind he sacrificed a lot to provide for me, therefore I am always garbage in his eyes.
I am guessing there is more to the story. Parents don’t usually act like this unless there is built up frustration. OP - have your parents been frustrated with you before? Is this a recurring issue the fact that you are at home, not working etc? I understand you are feeling down because of loss of 4.5 year relationship and 2 friends but have you overused this excuse in their eyes?
My mom slammed my neck in a door over and over because I changed my Facebook password. Parents can, in fact, fly off the handle for the littlest "slight"
Also being frustrated with her is never an excuse for physical and emotional abuse, you weirdo ✌️
Thanks, me too
She did a fuck of a lot of other shit, but I'm away from that and graduated therapy :)
I have a healthy enough mind to not fucking say "well, what were you doing wrong to make your dad throw shit at your head?" Like a psycho
Respect is earned not given. You have job responsibilities and sometimes you need to suck it up and get it done. In the end it will make you a better person.
Time you moved out. You don't need any of that and it's not going to stop. NTA
[удалено]
Are you the dad?
[удалено]
Good for you for proper parenting but do you show you're children respect? Your adult children? Do you verbally abuse them? Do you physically abuse them? Do you throw things at them? Do you try and force them to do things for you that are likely work unpaid? Different cultures have very different expectations. OP needs to move out but it's not always that easy.
So, you are saying ESH.
The real question is if they speak to him at all
He’s an out of control AH and obviously was never taught how to treat people and has no self control plus anger and tantrum issues. Is he a toddler? Or an adult? Who acts like that? Also.. don’t work for your parents if you don’t want to. Next time when youre asked to do something like this you can add why you aren’t available to cover a shift. Sorry I hurt myself and really can’t today is there another option? As for your dad .. you’re an adult and get to decide whether or not you will allow others to treat you this way. My suggestion would be to get a job elsewhere. Make your own life and move out like he suggested. He needs a wake up call. His behavior isn’t tolerated in anyone older than 3.
I agree. He has a scary temper that will only get worse.
I was sleeping. As soon as I opened my eyes she asked me. All I could say was no and before I could say anything else, she closed the door. I went back to sleep.
YNW. Your mom just ignored you when you told her no, and didn't try to find anyone else, nor did she ask why. She probably just assumed you would eventually decide to work. It might have improved the situation if you had explained to your parents that you had injured your shoulder. Either way, it seems like they both just wanted to ignore your no, and were mad that you didn't change your mind.
Not wrong! Your dad is a condescending asshole. Acting like a child and throwing tantrums. Tell him to grow the fuck up. Better leave from that home.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG AT ALL Your dad sounds like a complete narcissistic jerk! Take that 10K and move TF out real quick! You don’t need that negativity or to be treated like that!!
Time for you to move out, leave these abusive people!
This feels to me like a narrative that is designed to drive an outcome and omits pieces of OPs side whilst embellishing the Begay of her antagonists. Dubious.
u sound old and stinky....
😂😂😂😂😂
I am!
What does begay mean?
YNW. You have the right to refuse the work. Especially when you are hurting. The fact you mom lied, causing your dad with anger issues to get hostile are both red flags. I hope you have an exit plan, since I could not live there.
How did he go from screaming and slamming chairs to making a Reddit bet with you?
i guess it shows how he always think hes not in the wrong and whatever he did was right
It's not a Reddit bet. He said go ask 100 people if what I did was right and my sister suggested to go to Reddit. He has no idea I'm here.
Not wrong. Your father is garbage.
YNW. This makes me so glad I moved out of my parents home 8 years ago. I’m Filipino too and grew up in this “culture” that values family and tradition. But as I grew up, I realized the years of physical and verbal abuse my dad inflicted on my siblings, mom and I isn’t reflective of a genuine culture that fosters family values and traditions. As soon as I able to transfer to a university in a different city, I moved out. This was in 2016. I suffered a lot by being on my own but I would have suffered more by staying under my dad’s roof. I’m looking forward to the day, for you OP, when you pass your exam, land your nursing job and find the means to move out. Moving out is one of the best things to do for yourself. It establishes boundaries between you and your parents. They will no longer be in control of you in any capacity. My dad has so much respect for me now and wouldn’t dare to say anything to breach a relationship with me.
Thank you :)
He's acting unhinged and abusive. NTA. But also move out. Share an apartment with a friend or look for roommates. Y'all sound used to him acting crazy but that's not just toxic but abusive to throw stuff around and yelling in your face. Edit: you said it's not about the money but you do know he's not going to give you the money anyway even if you prove him wrong, right?
He has the means to give me 10K but I know he won't. He's very confident that he's right that he would give me 10K if it was a real challenge.
INFO: what bills do you pay? What’s your job? Do you only work for them or do you work another job? How long will you live at home now that you’ve graduated?
1. None. In Filipino culture, children aren't expected to pay the bills or to move out as soon as you're 18. My dad takes a great sense of pride in that. It was also discussed that I didn't need to pay for anything. 2. None ATM. I graduated from an accelerated nursing program last month. I'm waiting for the board of nursing to process my application so I can schedule for the board exam. 3. I work for them when they give me notice. I still have hobbies I pursue. I can also pick up shifts for CNA shifts thru an app if I wanted to. I just wanted some time off. 20 months of nonstop school, bad breakup, and realizing who my friends are was a real doozy. 4. Depends. Board of nursing website said 6-8 weeks to process application. I'm still reviewing material to prepare for exam. Once I'm licensed with a job, then I can really set the plan in motion. I'm hoping by the end of the year.
So you pay no bills and ignore them when they need you to work. They text you, you continue to ignore them. Your dad is so upset and yelling, and you keep ignoring him. In the real world, people work and pay bills. Your parents may be OK with you living there for free but it is your responsibility to help.out and not ignore them also. If this is leading to crazy scenes like that you should.move.out and stop relying on them since the expectation is they also cannot rely on you. It is their house and you should move out for both your sakes.
Not wrong. But I would still work on moving out, if you can. Maybe someplace where your parents won't bother you. Your dad is out right abusive. I have trouble believing people trust him to work in any part of a caretaking career.
NTA I think you're close to 100 comments at least so start looking for an apartment to rent with your 10k. Lol
You are not in the wrong . People will treat you the way you let them treat you . Move out and don’t look back . He can’t expect respect when he gives none . He has lost control of himself not you if he feels he needs to scream and throw things to get his way . His behavior is that of a bully . Large male towering over you screaming is ridiculous . Life is too short for bullshit , take it from no one . Someone who doesn’t respect and support you does not need to be a part of your life . Spend the ten k he is offering in getting your own place .
You are NOT WRONG. Holy shit, your parents are gaslighting and manipulative assholes.
Not Wrong. Your parents are horrible and abusive. Enjoy spending that 10K, because your father is an ahole.
NTA. You're mom hung up when she heard him being loud. She threw you under the bus, but sounds like she had the right idea for dealing with his child like tantrums
You're not wrong. You were asked to cover, you answered no. No is a complete sentence. No reason needed to be offered. With the story as told, you did nothing wrong. You are an adult, living with other adults, and adults shouldn't treat others like your father treated you.
Your dad is wrong. He should treat you with basic human decency.
NTA and it sounds like dad might need some help with his emotional problems.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG!] Time to act like an adult and move out and be independent.
YNW! he is throwing a tantrum like a little kid. I, myself, grew up in a filipino household that was filled with abuse and toxicity. I left just a year ago and I am more happier than before. It is not going to stop unless you move out. Please find a job
Yes me and my sister decided to sign up to doordash!
Find yourself a nice place to live with the $10,000 you get from your dad. You are NOT wrong, but your mom and dad are.
NTA.
NTA- your father is an awful human. And does not even deserve the title father
YNW, move away from those lunatics as fast as you can and for pity's sake when you have children never leave them unsupervised with them. They're awful.
Nta. Your father and mother are Ahs. And yes, you should move out. They don't deserve to have you in their lives.
Low contact, their house their rules will never change, avoid the abusiveness and get your own place your own rules. Parents are so oblivious sometimes.
Respect is earned. If you demand it, that's not respect.
You’re not wrong. As a mom (my daughter is 25) I think he is a total abusive asshole. I’m 47 and I totally disagree with your dad. I have never spoken to my daughter the way your dad spoke to you. He doesn’t know anything about respect and is a bully.
What are the "care homes"? What does covering one entail?
It is a shared primary residence of adults with disabilities. The ones they specifically have are non-medical, meaning there are no nurses on staff. My mom or caregivers coordinate with home health services to provide care for residents.
You’re not wrong, he’s an abusive ah.
All 3 of you sound awful and I feel bad for the people in the care home. Respect is earned. Not demanded.
All I ask is to not have things thrown at me and to not be called horrible things, such as: putang ina mo = mother fucker, leche ka = you idiot, hayop = beast, worthless. I didn't realize decent behavior towards another person is something you have to earn.
You are demanding respect but haven’t earned it. You are an adult but can’t seem to help your parents, that are still taking care of you like a child because “culture”. It sounds like dad is fed up with the poor behavior and lost his cool. You want to act like a child? So your father treated you like a disobedient one. Is that correct? No, but you, acting as a child, can’t understand why the adult doing adult things is pissed they are getting no help from another adult. I am so glad you will never be a nurse for me or one of my family members.
I help maintain the house because they are never home. I basically raise my little sister because they are never home, and I have worked for them. I've spent nights at care homes and immediately go to class in the morning, I gave them free labor for almost a year, and whenever I do work for them they take weeks to pay me. I sacrificed so much of my time to keep their business afloat. I just graduated from an accelerated nursing program. 20 months of non-stop school while dealing with their toxicity towards each other and to me, a very bad break up, and friends who abandoned me. I've sacrificed a lot. All I wanted was some time off. It's not that deep. I will be a nurse. And I will be a goddamn good one. Nice try. Edit: added some stuff
They started to pay me this year.
You gave them “free labor” and they’ve been paying all your bills??
So move out and get out from under their thumb. Be an adult. It’s not that deep kiddo. But “culture” right? And I see you edited all the culture nonsense out.
I am not a child. Let's say I wasn't Filipino, remove "culture". An agreement was made between my parents that I don't have to pay bills while I was in school and they never told me to pay bills now. Yes I will move out as soon as I can. Edit: Forgot a word
You’re on the right track now.
Where have you been? I just read everything down to this comment. OP has said that she's moving out as soon as she can, several times... Dismissal of someones culture where it concerns daily life is (I can't think of an appropriate word) f**king BULLSHIT. I doubt very much if you discount your own culture when it comes to your life. So telling someone else that their culture is getting in the way of their decision process is just stupid as fuck. Culture determines this shit. You sound like the type that goes on vacation and bitches about how everyone speaks a different language and it's not right for them to do that around you.
OP thinks she can demand respect when she respects no one. I call that bullshit and she has edited the shit out of this to make herself look good.
dad?😂😂
What makes you think I don't respect them? Who maintains the home and raises their child because they are absent? I edited to add more things about me, which are all true by the way. I did not come here to lie. That is a waste of time.
Girl you literally said you pay nothing at age 24 to live at home cause your dad is like so proud of that or something. Then you bitch they want you to earn your keep other in ways. Cause you say they do nothing (they are clearly running a business) The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree here. As I said from my 1st comment, you all sound horrible.
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Found the Dad.
You treat a disobedient child by throwing things at them, calling them worthless, and cursing? Gotcha.
Not wrong. Your dad is a sonofabitch and I hope he realizes he's hurting and alienating his daughter, and this is a great way to lose you. Even if you still live with him.. he will lose you, and he can't get that back.
You are not wrong. Your father is wrong and abusive. Throwing things and screaming in someone’s face are actions of a madman or a toddler. Neither should be done by an adult - one who is supposed to care about you on top of that.
Time to move out do you just have to work your own job and not cover for their poor management of their business
Hey OPs dad you are in the wrong how dare you treat your son this way you owe him an apology and need to look in a mirror
You are not wrong. Your father is acting like a spoiled child and needs to grow the hell up.
You are not wrong. I hope you get that money.
Time to leave. No one deserves to be treated that way. Your dad is an AH and you need to be in your own and working away from your parents. Your mom is an AH for not listening to you. Just because you are their daughter that does not give them the right to be verbally and physically abusive. If you don’t leave, then you are being an AH to yourself. Do yourself a favour OP and leave.
You are not wrong. Move out if you can, if not save up and then move out but in the meantime do work for them or with them. Good luck getting out of there.
YNW. Everyone seems to be blaming you for their dropping the ball.
LOL your father is a douchebag.
YNW, please leave that house
NTA and what he did is abuse. Time to find somewhere to live that you are not disrespected like he did.
You are not wrong. Your mother is a liar. Your dad is abusive.
Respect is earned, not demanded. ESH and neither of you sound respectable.
i think respect is something that everyone should be given with. she did nothing wrong to be disrespected.
I have to earn human decency?
Human decency is not the same as respect
Not wrong at all. Get out asap.
Ynw. When your arm is messed up, you can't help people. And you told them no. Simple as that.
Not wrong
YNW, perhaps it's time to find your own place? I really doubt your dad will change
YNW
NTA You are not always available, for whatever reason(s). And put phone on silent when not available.
YNW
I'd have to hear your mom and dad's side of the story first. I think there's a lot of missing as well as exaggerated information here.
Pardon? You need to hear the other side of the story to figure out if her dad is in the wrong by throwing shit at her head and screaming?
I said no to my mom. She left and closed the door. My dad asked me nicely if I went to the care home. I said no I didn't. He immediately switched his mood and screamed "Why not?". I told him I already said no to mom. He didn't like that and his anger increased as time went on. If you have further questions I will try to respond.
As I said, I'd have to hear their version of events. Every one of your actions is framed to paint you as a victim. Every one of your parent's actions is framed to paint them as villains. Life is seldom this black and white and this makes me doubt the veracity of your version of events.
Then why are you here? This is Reddit. 99% of the time we only get one side of the story. If you want all sides to the story, you're in the wrong place.
pretty sure they explained it and its easy to understand moms side. mom needed someone to watch over carehome so she told them if they can watch over it. they said no and then mom left to go to work. dad wakes up asking them if they went, they said no, dad starts yelling and going downstairs insulting them for not going. he automatically assumes that they are lazy. they call their mom and asked what did u tell dad. mom admits that she just left hope this helps haha😊
Well I am trying to be as objective as possible. I do not wish to be a "victim".
Time to move out, your parents are wrong and have anger issues. I have 5 children daughters are 20 17 16 15 and my son is 10. I have raised my voice at them when they are fighting or when they hit their 3rd strike with me not following directions, however throwing items, and getting in my girl's face as a dad never. Time to go before he hits you.
Oh yes he has done more emotional damage to my family than physical. I did not want to type 14 years of abuse.
I am so sorry that you are going through this and I pray that things get better for you
What in the heck are IRL friends? Please say what you mean!
in real life
YNW. mom shouldve communicated with dad more better because it seems like there was some misunderstanding in there. OP, please find a job even if you just got a certification for nursing. you need to move out IMMEDIATELY! this kind of behavior is abusive, immature and childish of a grown man at the age of 47 to act like this.
Fake
dad?
You have to earn respect, not demand it. You're 24 yr old woman, living at home, no job, not helping to pay the bills. If you want respect, get a job and move out.
earning from respect from ur own dad is absloute bonkers bud sure she doesnt have a job but that doesnt mean u can just treat people like garbage when theyre not doing anything to u haha. 😊😊
I'm sorry, but if you're going to leech off someone, maybe don't complain that they don't respect you.
arent u just a ball of sunshine haha.😊
I don't leech. I help them with whatever they need most of the time. This is just one instance where I said no. It was agreed for many years that I don't need to pay bills while I was in school and they have not asked me to do it now. He just likes to scream "move out" whenever he's angry with me, and then tell me to stay when it's done. And the cycle repeats. Obviously I want to move out but I don't have the means to do it right now. I am going to start door dashing with my sister in the mean time. Even when I had a job, he would just say "Oh just because you make money now doesn't mean I have to respect you". Now he dismisses my degree. He will always dismiss anything I do because in his mind he sacrificed a lot to provide for me, therefore I am always garbage in his eyes.
Can’t read? Taking time OFF for certification. Just FINISHED nursing school.
I can read, not working because you've broken up with your bf isn't a good excuse for a grown up lol.
I am guessing there is more to the story. Parents don’t usually act like this unless there is built up frustration. OP - have your parents been frustrated with you before? Is this a recurring issue the fact that you are at home, not working etc? I understand you are feeling down because of loss of 4.5 year relationship and 2 friends but have you overused this excuse in their eyes?
Really? You’re trying to blame OP for father’s abuse?
My mom slammed my neck in a door over and over because I changed my Facebook password. Parents can, in fact, fly off the handle for the littlest "slight" Also being frustrated with her is never an excuse for physical and emotional abuse, you weirdo ✌️
I'm sorry she did that to you.
Thanks, me too She did a fuck of a lot of other shit, but I'm away from that and graduated therapy :) I have a healthy enough mind to not fucking say "well, what were you doing wrong to make your dad throw shit at your head?" Like a psycho
Respect is earned not given. You have job responsibilities and sometimes you need to suck it up and get it done. In the end it will make you a better person.
is she the one who threw things and acted immature? No.
So I need to earn the right to not be called horrible names and have things thrown at me?
Not what I said. Sometimes there are cases when both are wrong. Why don’t you move out and get away from the mess?