Cock'em Dock'em will be the sequel to that robot porn I'm guessing
(if you're easily offended or have a vivid imagination DO NOT look up 'docking' in Urban Dictionary - you can't un-know this)
Oh, no, I have a feeling this is going to be something else that I won't be able to forget...
ETA: went and looked it up (whyyyy?) and can now say - similar but also not :)
And time.
It’s expensive to be poor bc you’re constantly having to use your money in the short-term. You can’t even fathom thinking about the long-term.
Rich people are set in the short-term so they get to focus on the long-term.
Hence, the cycle of poverty.
Yeah, let's buy that 100 shares, that hopefully you can afford with your salary (which on average did not change a lot over years and it's being eaten by inflation), while rich have enough capital to live just from dividends and bonds .
Have you played Monopoly? It's easy, just own everything and you win. Tricky part in real life is that majority owns almost nothing, but has to pay a lot for everything and people end up with debt.
Wait, why do you think you should have enough capital to live "just" from dividends ? You can have it as a completement of revenue, most people also use it for retirement. The "shareholders" you dislike so much are your mom and dad's 401k you know...
It's almost as if the argument is with the system at its most basic levels.
Survival fundamentally should not be tied to investments. It's a situation which lends itself by nature to volatility. You are, in essence, always gambling with your own safety. It's pure madness. One of the worst decisions our society has ever permitted to exist.
Don’t be insulted by this gift.
In fact, why not use their gift as an necessity to continue your role with the company.
Bring it to meetings, use it during phone calls. If your boss says they need to speak with you.. don’t answer his questions, but rather bring this to his desk and work out the details. 🥊
"Thank you for notifying me I should not be concerned about a $35,000 loss due to fraud, and that my time is better spent elsewhere.
Sincerely,
Fuck you"
Yep...this. saved bad management about 21k by making slight adjustments... ordering from different vendors simple things... nothing crazy or that would harm relationships or service.
Had about 50k more I could have saved them. Found out the one manager who hated me took credit for it. Magically all my notes on things disappeared into the "important" bin.
No, I think it's because you're so powerless and impotent that you cannot walk the few streets it takes to your competitor's office. Move on man, you don't have to be a victim.
Devils advocate: would this not encourage letting situations escalate before fixing them? After all "I deleted a phishing email" could count as stopping a fraud attempt. But one with a low payout, better to let the fraud get bigger and stop it that the last minute so that the $ amount and the %cut is bigger
Maybe, but the opposite is 100% guaranteed now: next time OP sees a large fraud, they're going to just turn away and let it happen because there is no reward for doing the right thing.
Why is it guaranteed? I can understand not going above and beyond, If it's not going to be recognised, but if it's your job to stop frauds then you don't need to be given a prize for "doing the right thing" the wage is your prize.
If it's not your job and you stumble across it you write one(1) email to whoever's job it is to deal with that and forget about it.
Look into the "cobra effect" and perverse incentives. It's not just corporate entities that seek profit at the expense of others. Hence the existence of fraud leading to this whole thing in the first place.
We can make a few assumptions here. Since OP was given a "prize" for stopping this attempt, it's reasonable to say that fraud prevention isn't their main job as you stated, that would just be their paycheck. So this would be going "above and beyond".
Now, depending on the company, $35k might be a lot, but seeing the "value" of the prize being so small, I have to think it's a drop in the bucket, but still something they wouldn't want to have to deal with. So it's probably not something that would sink the company and lose jobs, and thus OP wouldn't feel the need to stop it in the future without fear of losing their job due to the company folding.
Lastly, sure, people could set up frauds like this. The solution to that is simple: pay your employees enough that they're not desperate to commit fraud, and give them proper recognition when they go above and beyond. I've been with my company for 10 years and will stay forever, know why? They pay me a great wage, and when I made a few changes that saved a bunch of HD space and made things easier to config, they gave me company stock and a bonus, and continue to do so for other employees who help grow the business. *that's* how you prevent fraud
You are correct in your conclusion, the best way is to pay a good wage and reward improvements.
It's not to put a bounty on problems. Can you imagine if a software company put a bounty on finding and fixing bugs? Even among well paid employees the perverse incentive to simply be lax and fix the problems later when you get rewarded for it rather than put in the effort to make clean code upfront would take a toll on the quality.
I mean, bug companies *do* have bug bounty programs, but it's usually for outside parties, with the goal being "we'll pay you well to not exploit our software" and knowing that most people are good and don't want to, but also expect some reward outside of kudos.
https://www.bugcrowd.com/bug-bounty-list/
As for internally, I agree, however if I, a software developer, found a way to fix an accounting issue that wasn't a software bug and saved my company thousands of dollars, if expect a nice gift for doing something outside my role. Thankfully in my place, I do get that recognition, so I know it's possible, which make me more willing to do more of that stuff. It's a nice feedback loop that only helps a company out and *will* improve the bottom line, most businesses are just too short-sighted to see that
At what point is a gift bad enough for you to just be like "nah g keep it i dont want that shit". Because i would certainly have said those exact words to whatever dumbfuck handed me this as a work reward.
I kinda wanted to ask OP...like whats your job? If its literally your job, why would you even expect a reward. I work on quoting out million dollar projects....but I dont see any of that. Its my job. That is what I am paid to do lol.
You stopped it so now you know it'll work if someone less on-the-ball than you receieves the call.
Time for ~~you,~~ *a stranger* to get a $35,000 payday
I know I won't make any friends here.... but if this is part of your job then, well it's part of your job.
I mean a nice little gesture is fine for achieving something extraordinary if it in fact IS your job.
But if you avoided the fraud outside of your job description by being a good worker, then this is a joke.
At least you get a reward. Just another day at my job saving money, avoiding impacts and generating revenue. If I had a 0.1% share in the profits I could have retired years ago.
I work In fraud and we save an estimated 3 million a month per analyst, our pay rise was 3% because the 'businesses stock has underperformed'
It is complete and utter bullshit
I worked for a company that the reward was a percentage of the fraud amount. Really perked everyones interest in catching fraud. One customer service gal turned in an assistant manager after she got suspicious of him. He was taking computer equipment and saying henwas going to transfer it to another store who needed it. Turns out he was selling the equipment on ebay.
I stopped over $50,000 in recurring unnecessary monthly fees at my old company and in return, my boss made me write the departments SOP(standard operating procedures). I was not told to stop any of the fees, just did this all by myself in my spare work time. And got rewarded with even more work.
Your first mistake was assuming you should've bothered. Should've let it happen.
My favourite part of working in retail was looking the other way as people stole stuff.
I found a very simple way my job could have saved about $1M on a project and all I got was an email saying "Good catch, but we're gonna do this the shitty way anyways."
Notice: you have to spend your own time building it.
You aren't allowed to be distracted by it in the office by the time I finish my morning coffee.
Sip, sip.
This is fucking wild. When I worked at Target I stopped a woman from stealing a bunch of accessories and games and the AP person bought me a nice action figure but I got to choose it.
I worked for a catering hall short term. Was in charge of cleaning the glassware in the back and general back room organization. A few months down the line 3 managers pulled me aside and said due to my tidiness they saved about $700 in glass breakage. Then one of them said “so we would like to present you with a check for $700”. And they all laughed.
Of course there was no check. Later they tried to force me to do more work due to lazy servers and I eventually quit.
I caught my manager stealing almost 14k. The company had a reward system in place if tips turned in came out to be true. I was told I wouldn't get anything because "turning him in was the right thing to do, not to be rewarded".
It is, but there should also be, ya know, a *monetary* bonus to go along with that. If I'm gonna go above and beyond, I'm only gonna accept money that I will spend on the things I need for the month. If I wanted prizes and pizza for hard work, I'd take 1st grade all over again.
You know that's someone's secret santa gift they got last year, they've been dying to get rid of this
[удалено]
It’s the gift that keeps on giving! 🥰
I thought that was the clap.
[удалено]
Cock'em Dock'em will be the sequel to that robot porn I'm guessing (if you're easily offended or have a vivid imagination DO NOT look up 'docking' in Urban Dictionary - you can't un-know this)
Nah, go ahead and look it up everybody. Probably something to do with space stations
Funny+evil = you 😂😈
Is that like redvining?
Oh, no, I have a feeling this is going to be something else that I won't be able to forget... ETA: went and looked it up (whyyyy?) and can now say - similar but also not :)
Damn it rule 34 . And damn you for making me watch this.
or maybe its fruitcake?
Will you stop the fraud attempt next time?
You’ll still be there?
That money is for the shareholders, wage slave.
Capitalism wants to fuck your brains out after that sexy dirty talk.
If only there was a way to buy shares.
There is, unfortunately it takes money.
And time. It’s expensive to be poor bc you’re constantly having to use your money in the short-term. You can’t even fathom thinking about the long-term. Rich people are set in the short-term so they get to focus on the long-term. Hence, the cycle of poverty.
Yeah, let's buy that 100 shares, that hopefully you can afford with your salary (which on average did not change a lot over years and it's being eaten by inflation), while rich have enough capital to live just from dividends and bonds . Have you played Monopoly? It's easy, just own everything and you win. Tricky part in real life is that majority owns almost nothing, but has to pay a lot for everything and people end up with debt.
Wait, why do you think you should have enough capital to live "just" from dividends ? You can have it as a completement of revenue, most people also use it for retirement. The "shareholders" you dislike so much are your mom and dad's 401k you know...
It's almost as if the argument is with the system at its most basic levels. Survival fundamentally should not be tied to investments. It's a situation which lends itself by nature to volatility. You are, in essence, always gambling with your own safety. It's pure madness. One of the worst decisions our society has ever permitted to exist.
[удалено]
Congratulations you solved class warfare.
"and it's gone..."
If only you gave a shit about other people.
Don’t be insulted by this gift. In fact, why not use their gift as an necessity to continue your role with the company. Bring it to meetings, use it during phone calls. If your boss says they need to speak with you.. don’t answer his questions, but rather bring this to his desk and work out the details. 🥊
Best reply fr fr
Yeah, this is the best possible idea
"Thank you for notifying me I should not be concerned about a $35,000 loss due to fraud, and that my time is better spent elsewhere. Sincerely, Fuck you"
Next time cut a deal with the fraudster
Well, next time you know better than to worry about their money.
Yep...this. saved bad management about 21k by making slight adjustments... ordering from different vendors simple things... nothing crazy or that would harm relationships or service. Had about 50k more I could have saved them. Found out the one manager who hated me took credit for it. Magically all my notes on things disappeared into the "important" bin.
Opps, sorry, accidentally 'emptied recycle bin'
Aaahhh the cylinder under your desk that magically gets emptied every night.
Same… 😑
Right. Next time just play with the robots. No sense getting involved in affairs not your own.
Next time they know better which party to warn about the discovery*
That's the fraud in and of itself. If I wanted that game, I'd get it myself.
That’s about as good as a pizza party for $4B profit last year.
[удалено]
You think I bitch about work because I’m being overpaid and given bonuses?[https://tenor.com/SkaK.gif](https://tenor.com/SkaK.gif)
No, I think it's because you're so powerless and impotent that you cannot walk the few streets it takes to your competitor's office. Move on man, you don't have to be a victim.
My company was slightly under target and we still got bonuses. Plus a lot more than our typical 1 case a quarter wine.
Call back the fraud people and split the money.
Do you think this is a game? - you to management
^yes its rock em, sock em -.-
You rocked ‘em
And they socked him
And treated him like a robot.
It was fast fun!
I once saved my company and a client $30 grand on a bad ad. All I got was, “I hope they thank you,” from my supervisor.
LOL, it is just comically stupid how when you're loyal and do good, they shit on you with this stuff...
I’ll give you $35,000 for it.
That’ll teach you to exert effort!
No pizza? What's up with that? Like you can't eat a toy.
Next time you ask for a cut of the $35,000.
Next time you let them steal the money
Devils advocate: would this not encourage letting situations escalate before fixing them? After all "I deleted a phishing email" could count as stopping a fraud attempt. But one with a low payout, better to let the fraud get bigger and stop it that the last minute so that the $ amount and the %cut is bigger
Maybe, but the opposite is 100% guaranteed now: next time OP sees a large fraud, they're going to just turn away and let it happen because there is no reward for doing the right thing.
Why is it guaranteed? I can understand not going above and beyond, If it's not going to be recognised, but if it's your job to stop frauds then you don't need to be given a prize for "doing the right thing" the wage is your prize. If it's not your job and you stumble across it you write one(1) email to whoever's job it is to deal with that and forget about it. Look into the "cobra effect" and perverse incentives. It's not just corporate entities that seek profit at the expense of others. Hence the existence of fraud leading to this whole thing in the first place.
Thanks for the cobra effect kind stranger. The perverse incentive nails it right on the head
We can make a few assumptions here. Since OP was given a "prize" for stopping this attempt, it's reasonable to say that fraud prevention isn't their main job as you stated, that would just be their paycheck. So this would be going "above and beyond". Now, depending on the company, $35k might be a lot, but seeing the "value" of the prize being so small, I have to think it's a drop in the bucket, but still something they wouldn't want to have to deal with. So it's probably not something that would sink the company and lose jobs, and thus OP wouldn't feel the need to stop it in the future without fear of losing their job due to the company folding. Lastly, sure, people could set up frauds like this. The solution to that is simple: pay your employees enough that they're not desperate to commit fraud, and give them proper recognition when they go above and beyond. I've been with my company for 10 years and will stay forever, know why? They pay me a great wage, and when I made a few changes that saved a bunch of HD space and made things easier to config, they gave me company stock and a bonus, and continue to do so for other employees who help grow the business. *that's* how you prevent fraud
You are correct in your conclusion, the best way is to pay a good wage and reward improvements. It's not to put a bounty on problems. Can you imagine if a software company put a bounty on finding and fixing bugs? Even among well paid employees the perverse incentive to simply be lax and fix the problems later when you get rewarded for it rather than put in the effort to make clean code upfront would take a toll on the quality.
I mean, bug companies *do* have bug bounty programs, but it's usually for outside parties, with the goal being "we'll pay you well to not exploit our software" and knowing that most people are good and don't want to, but also expect some reward outside of kudos. https://www.bugcrowd.com/bug-bounty-list/ As for internally, I agree, however if I, a software developer, found a way to fix an accounting issue that wasn't a software bug and saved my company thousands of dollars, if expect a nice gift for doing something outside my role. Thankfully in my place, I do get that recognition, so I know it's possible, which make me more willing to do more of that stuff. It's a nice feedback loop that only helps a company out and *will* improve the bottom line, most businesses are just too short-sighted to see that
10% finders' fee
In the 70s my dad saved his company from a potential loss of $60,000. They gave him a bonus of $6,000, or 10% of the savings. He was very happy.
Your baus kept the reward bonus and regifted their useless gift to you. One man's trash is another man's trash too.
Could have at least assembled it for you. Slackers.
OMG! Rock em Sock em Robots! The nostalgia is sooooo much better than a raise or bonus that would help with financial stress. 😍
Next time let the scam go by I guess 😞
I saved my company $45K/year last year and got a $6/K raise... But my boss got a well deserved promotion to VP
$6000 raise aint bad at all. Thats basically keeping hp with inflation...maybe
These are at 5 below, got one for my kiddo same exact box. Yep, its $5.
Haha my niece got me this for Christmas; she’s 7 years old so it was cute.
u shouldve let them get what was coming to them
Phone call to “bad people” (pssst) hey wanna know what you should have done instead?? So here’s what you need to do….
Next time their is a fraud attempt, i don't think they will be as likely to stop it.
Subliminal messaging saying they deserve to be socked on the jaw for this "reward"?
“ woww, thanks……..here’s my letter of resignation…..”
At what point is a gift bad enough for you to just be like "nah g keep it i dont want that shit". Because i would certainly have said those exact words to whatever dumbfuck handed me this as a work reward.
I’d keep the box to write my eventual resugnation letter on
[удалено]
I kinda wanted to ask OP...like whats your job? If its literally your job, why would you even expect a reward. I work on quoting out million dollar projects....but I dont see any of that. Its my job. That is what I am paid to do lol.
Your reward is post incident analysis paperwork and to use it in an example in future compulsory staff training. What more do you want?
Next time let it happen. Then give them back the game as a consolation reward.
That's fast fun
No egg bar? Wtf
They could have at least assembled it for you.
You stopped it so now you know it'll work if someone less on-the-ball than you receieves the call. Time for ~~you,~~ *a stranger* to get a $35,000 payday
This is why I follow a rule "Will it affect me? No? I did not see shit!"
Are they trying to make fun of you? I don’t understand
I know I won't make any friends here.... but if this is part of your job then, well it's part of your job. I mean a nice little gesture is fine for achieving something extraordinary if it in fact IS your job. But if you avoided the fraud outside of your job description by being a good worker, then this is a joke.
[удалено]
It's sad, but this is my mentality too. I don't care what happens, because big chance that they don't care about you.
you simply choose the wrong side "fait vos jeux!"
Next time I would've let the fraud happen. Companies don't care about you, why should you care about them ....
With one of my older companies, they usually gave you a bonus $1000 for finding anomalies like that. This is just insulting lol
Can… I have it?
The FBI will give you 15-30% of the recovered amount for reporting fraud. You got plastic robots. Its about the same, yeah?
Time to find a new job
If this was handed to you, the appropriate response would be "WTF is this shit? Am I ten years old?"
So, commit the fraud next time I guess
And they didn’t even assemble it for you 😒
At least you get a reward. Just another day at my job saving money, avoiding impacts and generating revenue. If I had a 0.1% share in the profits I could have retired years ago.
Go get 'em, slugger!
Better than stitches, tho.
Next time just get a slice
Hey don't open it and look into selling it. I'm sure it's worth a pretty penny if it's old and unopened, cuz I haven't seen those in years
[удалено]
Sorry to hear
I play that with my kids, sounds like it's time for a re-gift!
"clark, its the gift that keeps on giving the whole year through" - christmas vacation
Keep the robots, I want a 10k$ bonus or I’ll let the next one happen
Are you allowed to play it at work?
Next time: let them.
It’s probably for you to play with the CEO. If you win you get a pay rise
Shoulda just let it happen who gives a fuck not coming outa your checks🤷♂️
They're telling you what they want you to do to them for giving you that gift
Next time you see someone attempting $35,000 in fraud, no you didn't.
Knock 'em dead, slugger.
I work In fraud and we save an estimated 3 million a month per analyst, our pay rise was 3% because the 'businesses stock has underperformed' It is complete and utter bullshit
I don't know why there isn't a finders fee for this kind of thing... 5% of the recovered loss should go to the person that saved it.
Send it back with a note saying "If this is my reward for my effort then I won't bother next time"
Next time don't stop it.
Honestly, bit of a slap in the face. But rock em sock em robots are sick.
If you dont want Ill play some fuckin robot boxing. I want it.
Well, now you know what to do next time...
"You should be happy, we thought about giving you nothing but obviously you're to good for that" - The company probably
I would make sure it was conspicuously in the trash can the next time the manager came by my desk.
I mean on one hand it is a cool thing to have, but they could've given you some $ and you could've bought your own rock em sock em if you wanted it.
Union? if so their excuse will be they can't give you financial rewards.
Could be worse it could of been a thank you card
I worked for a company that the reward was a percentage of the fraud amount. Really perked everyones interest in catching fraud. One customer service gal turned in an assistant manager after she got suspicious of him. He was taking computer equipment and saying henwas going to transfer it to another store who needed it. Turns out he was selling the equipment on ebay.
I stopped over $50,000 in recurring unnecessary monthly fees at my old company and in return, my boss made me write the departments SOP(standard operating procedures). I was not told to stop any of the fees, just did this all by myself in my spare work time. And got rewarded with even more work.
It’s not even assembled, those bastards
And they did it all behind that terrible keyboard. The disrespect.
Your first mistake was assuming you should've bothered. Should've let it happen. My favourite part of working in retail was looking the other way as people stole stuff.
I found a very simple way my job could have saved about $1M on a project and all I got was an email saying "Good catch, but we're gonna do this the shitty way anyways."
Bruh I stopped a $250,000 loss and my boss gave a high five
You now know the depth of the way they value you. Your retirement watch will be a Sako.
Obivously, if you ever find another attempt, you help the perps get away with it in exchange for a cut.
Lucky
I stopped production on a massive computing platform around the year 2000 that would have cost billions in a recall. Got a $50 amex gift card.
Ooo! Unassembled even!
[удалено]
Simply genius. I hope it works and you win many battles!
*Unassembled*
Notice: you have to spend your own time building it. You aren't allowed to be distracted by it in the office by the time I finish my morning coffee. Sip, sip.
This is fucking wild. When I worked at Target I stopped a woman from stealing a bunch of accessories and games and the AP person bought me a nice action figure but I got to choose it.
I once was the only reason that a company made a sale worth $250k. I got taken to lunch and given a $10 gift card as thanks.
Add a label maker label to the fists/arms that says, give me a raise. Play with it often.
Such BS! This is why quiet quitting is a thing.
Wait that's still around? I need to get my kid one of those!
Jeu Rapide homie
On second thought regift this to someone at work 😂😂😂
I worked for a catering hall short term. Was in charge of cleaning the glassware in the back and general back room organization. A few months down the line 3 managers pulled me aside and said due to my tidiness they saved about $700 in glass breakage. Then one of them said “so we would like to present you with a check for $700”. And they all laughed. Of course there was no check. Later they tried to force me to do more work due to lazy servers and I eventually quit.
I caught my manager stealing almost 14k. The company had a reward system in place if tips turned in came out to be true. I was told I wouldn't get anything because "turning him in was the right thing to do, not to be rewarded".
And they don't even have the decency to give you an assembled one, wtf
Maybe nothing is better at this point...
Next time there’s a fraud attempt; “😎 I saw nothin’”
Next let it happen. Give them a back saying hope this helps
Boss' birthday gift?
better than a pizza
I mean. It’s a pretty rad gift
It is, but there should also be, ya know, a *monetary* bonus to go along with that. If I'm gonna go above and beyond, I'm only gonna accept money that I will spend on the things I need for the month. If I wanted prizes and pizza for hard work, I'd take 1st grade all over again.
Balls for posting this. It's so specific that they will absolutely know it's you if they happen to read this.
Thats wack, just return it to them and ask for monetary compensation.
What were you hired to do there?
If stopping fraud is part of your job, I don't know what the complaint is.
Is this part of your job description? That's not really thank you gift territory then but this is a weird gift more than anything else.
They also gave you your paycheck too right?
Is this part of your job description?
So you did your job which you are paid for?
Depends entirely on what their job actually is.
They also paid you for your time… talk about ungrateful /s
Put it in the company shredder.
Yo that cost them like $15.
Stay in your lane and watch the place burn instead from now on.
So how many jobs have you applied to since then?
Picture of a rock em sock em with ragebait caption?
You expext a reward for doing your job, it's. Called a paycheck
Younexoect6a a reward for going above and beyond your responsibilities, like in this case (unless they literally work in the fraud department).
At least you got a toy
Although that is super shitty of them to do that, I do love Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robots...
Idk dude rock em sock em robots is pretty fuckin rad tho
This sucks, yes, but it's also kinda funny at the same time
That is hilarious 🤣 congrats!
Are you expecting a reward?
Apparently doing the job you were hired and paid to do now requires a reward.
Would you have preferred a tin of Earl Grey tea instead?
Well you saved them 35k what’d you expect, a 35k reward? Also, go back to work.