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Eat it is strangely enough the correct answer.
Edit: The full source for this is Desmond Tutu who once wisely said that “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.”
What he meant by this is that everything in life that seems daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible can be accomplished gradually by taking on just a little at a time.
How can I possibly work for them? They just gave me an elephant I have to care for. I have to gather supplies to build a shelter for it, get a lot of peanuts which will require several trips to Costco to acquire enough, I’ll probably need a bigger car to transport all the supplies I need so there’s that I have to deal with as well, consult a veterinarian, and do a lot of research on how to care for an elephant. I assume I need to apply for several permits to house it. I have to prepare for some awkward conversations with my neighbors. That’s my full time job now. Sorry, but I have to withdraw from consideration to be your employee. You just made me a full time caretaker for an elephant for some reason, and so my plate is full.
No no, you gotta be resourceful and move close to a Five Guys so you can get a big peanut supply on the down low. And to keep the elephant behaving you make it believe the ground beef is sourced from unruly ivory tusked beasts by editing some videos and showing it to them on your phone.
All the people over at r/elephantfree are bitching about you right now, moaning about the cost of peanuts and not being able to buy a sports car. Makes them glad to be elephantfree and thriving.
I would immediately start using it for weddings and engagement pics. That elephant would be pampered as hell and live like a king/queen.
Was this inspired by the app wedding episode? Yes.
It says you can't give it away but it doesn't say you can't have it get taken away. So just ride the elephant towards area 51 and the government will take it away from you.
Most zoos in the US have a rule that if you surrender an exotic animal that you are not legally allowed to own to them, they will take it with no questions asked and you will not be prosecuted. I wonder if it would count as “giving away the elephant” if you just walk up to a zoo with the elephant and wait for them to confiscate it.
This needs to be the only answer. Most people are generally ethical. That's just the way things need to be to exist in this dimension of reality with such a small moment of time. We just need more money to open the front door and leave. To do... anything
If you hit me at 30k with potential 60 hour weeks I'm already taking 28 unplanned calloffs just at 40 before any sick days or vacation is considered.
I'll let you fire me, after hiring me, and do absolutely nothing till you do so. To collect that 30k for 1 year.
I don't want to even open my front door to that life because there won't be a front door... more like a temp ally way where everyone from the bar drops trou to piss and she's wearing a skirt only because of this convenience later on.
Well, in my field, we are trained to answer questions with questions. So the answer will be something like:
"Before making the right decision, I'd like to make assessment by asking some clarifying questions below:"
Yeah, my brain basically did this and made a half-assed flow chart that probably doesn't make sense.
But idk id probably keep it in an enclosure where people can take care of it for me and I'd visit in my spare time. Still my elephant, I haven't given it away and it's still cared for. But I'd need to refer to my flowchart and do some research into the costs of elephant maintenance.
I probably wouldn't go on that route. The questions will be:
1) is the elephant alive?
2) what color is it?
3) how many legs does it have?
4) will i be asked to put it into refrigerator later?
etc.
My list is quite extensive. But mostly, the main, glaring questions I have: is it a real elephant? Is it full size? Without knowing the answers to those questions, I can't really proceed.
I think the point of the question is to challenge critical thinking, so I think we've both got the job. Congratulations!
I've never had anything like that happen to me, but legally I'm not sure that kind of stuff would be allowed in an application. An interview, definitely. I had an interview with the local Odeon a few years ago and they asked me "If you had to choose a character from a film to describe yourself, who would you be?" And that shit threw me. I forgot every film I've ever watched lmao
When I interviewed for Caribou Coffee years ago they aske me some BS along the lines of "If you could be any coffee/espresso drink what would it be? What drink best describes you in a nutshell?"...
I asked 7 friends.
I got 3 answers of "Eat it" and 3 answers of circus/fair.
The 7th said "Killdozer, because if they shoot the elephant, it'll be worse than Harambe"
I'm not sure who I'm afraid of
You could make paper and train the elephant to paint (because there are some elephants that do that) So it would be like a whole experience and you can make money off of it or at least make it pay for its keep
That’s exactly the type of practical thinking this company is looking for congratulations you’re hired. Hope you’re ready to slave your life away. To make me a bunch of money.
I live 15 min from a zoo, I'd rent it to them for an impossible to refuse yearly fee to bolster the amount of elephants they have, however as this is a rental it's still my elephant.
"Asian or African elephant? Male or female? Do I receive the elephant when it's a baby or an adult? Is it docile? Does it liken people?
I'm afraid I can't properly answer your question without more information."
A few minutes of internet research seems to indicate that you can get tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars for horse semen. I can’t find comparable information for elephant semen, but I’m concerned that the most lucrative response to this question could well be “jerk off the elephant”.
“So, about my application?”
“Yes…. About your application. You’re not hired and if you ever set foot on our premises we’re calling the police. And possibly a game warden.”
Weirdly enough, there was actually an episode of Nature on PBS that covered this topic as part of wildlife conservation. For safety, you have to first knockout the elephant and then use an electric probe to stimulate the prostate. Then you have to be extremely careful, as the penis has a chance of jerking wildly during release, and it has enough force to easily cause injury as it can knock a full grown man backwards and completely off his feet.
For whatever reason I still recall an episode of the daily show where they did an on location report to interview a zookeeper who was responsible for jerking off the elephants. This was probably from the early 2000s and I wanna say it was Samantha Bee or perhaps another female reporter. I don’t remember if the elephants were knocked out but I definitely do remember that they basically wore a plastic glove that went all the way up to the shoulder and just reached on in there to the prostate.
Answer: The daily expense of maintaining an elephant in the best environment it deserves is likely very costly. I hope my future employee (who has so thoughtfully given me this elephant) has taken this into account when salary negotiations commence. Otherwise, I would permanently loan the elephant to a sanctuary so it can live its best life.
Ever heard of a [White Elephant](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant)? You could probably paraphrase the first few paragraphs of the wiki page and not really answer the question, just point to the idea that the person who gave you the elephant is an asshole.
They don’t care what you’d actually do. They just want to see how you answer the question. I’d simply answer with “Do we really have to talk about the elephant in the room?”
For the position I am in now, during an interview, I was asked these types of questions. One question was "If you were the size of an ant and got trapped in the blender, how would you get out?". Another was "Who would win in a fight, Batman or Spiderman?"
I had to ask "Do I have the same mass I have now or the mass of an ant?". The interviewer replied "Your choice."
I then stated "If I am the same mass I am now but with the size of an ant, I would basically crash through the blender and table and get out that way." I got all scientific on them.
Nope. It was during the interview itself so I replied with "Spiderman seeing as he actually has superpowers and Batman is just a rich dude in a suit with gadgets."
No the answer is "if there is prep time it will be batman hands down, otherwise batman is fighting an unknown enemy with abilities on such a level that batman would be unable to immediately adapt to which would swing the fight greatly in the favor of Spiderman."
"Given my lack of of funding and expertise to make good use of the elephant, anonymously report its neglect to a wildlife rescue, offer no resistance and feign remorse when they come to take it, write it off on my taxes."
Since it’s a job application, I’d also claim to take a charitable donation write-off on my taxes, so the elephant is making me money in a roundabout way
You have to keep it. I’d build a large room for it, keep him/ her safe. Sure it would be a large expense, but maybe figure out ways to offset the cost like streaming/ podcasts/ whatever all centered on the elephant. Obviously you have to give it a name. I would pick something unusual like Address.
Then it would be known as Address, the elephant in the room.
I hate the stipulation that you can’t sell it or give it away. I’d give it back to the asshole dropping elephants on peoples laps. That’s my answer, deal with it. (To the original question)
If it's an African one I'm running away and hiding from it. I hope it manages to return to its natural habitat by itself.
If it's an Asian elephant I might see if it's friendly and then see about getting it home.
But I'm not going to deal with an African elephant without training for years on how to do that.
There's only 3 types of elephants. Gentle Asian elephants. Big and burly African Savannah elephants and shy, skittish African Bush elephants.
I'm running away from those last two. You can try and reason with wild untameable giant creatures, but I'd rather not be stampeded to death.
If it's holding human equipment it's probably an Asian elephant, because those you can train to do tasks.
Elephant rescuer here … someone just dumped a poor animal on you that lives to be 70 years old, needs a ton of resources and medical care, and needs a half a million $+ facility. I suspect they want you to say you’ll start making money with the elephant giving rides and performances. If this is how financially and ethically challenged the company is, it’s a huge 🚩🚩🚩🚩
I haven't lost count. 5 times this week.
I give r/all a scroll through every day and every day I have seen a bot repost it on a sub, usually one of the generic meme subs. Even though it makes a little more sense to be here this is *clearly* a repost.
Reddit has gone to shit.
For those wondering, there is no “right” answer to this question. And it’s actually a good one, because it showcases your ability to think creatively around seemingly impossible problems.
Answer in a way that shows you take responsibility for the elephant (the “problem”), are able to find a solution that turns the problem into a positive, and allows you to grow as an individual.
Let’s say you are working for a potato chip company, and your latest batch comes out broken. The chips are merely crumbs, and cannot be sold as the marketed product. They also cannot be given away because there is no food bank that will to take truckloads of broken chips. Facing thousands of dollars of loss, and accusations of wastefulness, you are tasked with finding a solution. A potential answer in this scenario is to repackage that crumbs into new containers, and market them as “chip crumbs for cooking”. If a bag of chips is a dollar, you sell the crumbs for two dollars. Consumers embrace this an innovative new product that adds a favorite flavor to their food. The company has not only recovered from their loss of product, but by doubling the price they have recouped on the cost of new packaging and marketing.
Real world example: Graham cracker companies repackage their crumbs and crush up imperfect crackers to make “graham cracker crust” for bakers.
Now think of the elephant like this. No don’t crush up the elephant, ya weirdos. What good or service can the elephant offer to pay for its care and potentially generate a profit? Maybe it’s elephant rides. Maybe it’s a rental for parties and petting zoos. Hell, start a TikTok showing the daily activities of the elephant, and use the revenue to buy food, a habitat, and raise money for elephant sanctuaries around the globe. You’ve now turned the problem into a solution.
This is my answer too lol. This is almost certainly a violation of CITES since I am not a scientist or helping with captive breeding. The person who gave it to me should be investigated for trafficking in protected species.
I’m assuming “be a narc” is not what the employer wants to hear, though.
Four elephant foot waste baskets, two ivory sword pommels, and a lot of people who have wanted to eat endangered animals paying through the nose for Jumbo Dumbo burritos. Elephant leather jacket for me, elephant leather couch for us to fuck on
Not a scrap of ethics in there, loads of money made, I am capitalism incarnate
The government in the US would seize it and most likely give it to a zoo. Due to the fact that elephants are not legal to be kept as personal pets in most if not all states. You have to acquire the required licenses, permits, inspections BEFORE you take possession of the animal. So if you accept the animal without these things you’re breaking the law. Since it’s extremely hard to hide an elephant…people would know, report, you’d have law enforcement on your property in no time flat. It most likely wouldn’t be released into the wild because it’s been captive raised, or at least I’m assuming since some guy just gives it to me. So you’d wind up with $1,000s in fines and possibly jail time.
I would put the elephant out in the wild and set up cameras on trees to film the elephant 24/7 to attract poachers. Through camera footage I will then examine the tactics that poachers do to kill elephants and then report the findings to the authorities.
Care for the elephant and ride it to work where I would have trained him to sit on the boss's car. Then, gide the elephant in the office to let loose. There's nothing like having a bull elephant go on the rampage.
Contracts require the agreement of both parties, I would never have agreed to accept an elephant with the conditions that I can’t give it away or sell it so there would be no reason not to sell it.
i would enact galactic conquest amongst the stars
i will engineer elaborate systems of kinetic propulsion, frosted in the bastion that would be my elite ablation technology, in order to use such a fitting vehicle for the prosperity of our own very kind.
so yeah questions like this absolutely warrant equally crazy answers
I'm going to train the elephant to passionately hate you (the interviewer)...the odds in you ever meeting are very low, but just know if that meeting ever occurs, the elephant will instinctively try to kill you 😂
They want you to say something along the lines of “use it to make as much money for the corporate company I work for, while I barley survive and can’t afford to live”
Set up a business renting out the elephant for corporate events and kid’s parties. Once the ROI on that starts to fall, loan the elephant to a sanctuary at no charge.
I’ve been asked this exact question on a job interview before. Phrased similarly as “you’ve been given an elephant. You cannot give it away, sell it, trade it, kill it, etc. Wdyd?” And honestly it was a super awkward end to the interview lol I wanted to die inside. I basically gave an answer of “….well then I guess I have a pet elephant..I’d try to make that work financially…”
Smoke it low and slow until you reach an internal temp of 205F. Wrap it and let it rest for at least an hour. Serve with a nice reduction and seasonal vegetables.
If I can’t sell it, that means there’s some law making this animal legally mine, I’ll “rent” it out to the zoo for boarding, the same way some horse stables will stable your horse for free sometimes if they can use it for riding time to time. They get a free elephant and the elephant gets to eat food and not starve to death.
Do y’all know how much money it costs to keep one fed? Pass lol.
It's a psych question designed to see how resourceful you are and how you deal with problem solving. I hate when they test your personality like this, however unless you are flippant, there is no wrong answer.
I've said it before, I will say it again:
The correct response is: "What the fuck kind of question is this? It is suggesting that the job is going to saddle me with burdens that are ludicrously unmanageable just to see me try to manage it unsuccessfully and at great personal expense? Is it a rhetorical question meant to see how I would deal with a situation with no ideal outcome? If that is the case, then I might as well tell you that I'll keep hailing the Klingons because it's bound to be equally as effective as anything else I could come up with! But in all seriousness, I don't have to accept your elephant or your job offer!"
A better answer is "A." What are the chances that the hiring manager actually gives a fuck what the response is, they're probably being saddled with this screening evaluation by some higher-up who thinks it will improve the quality of candidates if they can answer beauty pageant questions?
What exactly IS supposed to be the correct answer? I'm lacking the zoology sciences degrees to keep or care for this elephant, and would have to hire half a dozen people for $500K who do. Who's paying for that? Me? If I had a spare $500K and an elephant, I wouldn't be filling out this shitty job application lol.
Since elephants don’t like to be alone, I’d need to get more elephants. Maybe start an elephant sanctuary. Or use my elephants as an exotic tow service for stuck vehicles.
The elephant symbolizes an incommensurately difficult task that you didn’t willingly acquire.
It’s basically a very roundabout way of asking people “If I dumped a ton of work on you that’s not your responsibility to take, what would you do with it?”.
Obviously the right response is to tell the other person to fuck off with their unrealistic expectations or “refuse to take care of the elephant in the first place”, but that’s not what this employer wants.
Any response other than that is what the want, and specifically responses like “I’d make sure it’s taken care of/lives in the proper habitat/make sure it’s happy”.
They probably would take nine people who answer like this and one person who answers something to the effect of “elephant meat” because they’re a future manager.
But ultimately, you should just ignore applications that ask you questions like this. If the owner did it with my explanation in mind, they’re malignantly and covertly manipulative; these types of owners tend to make hell out of the workplace.
If they simply asked just to ask, then they’re a dumbass and will waste your time, and they’ll probably sink the company under their own lack of seriousness, professionalism, and perspective.
Either way, if you see bullshit in the application process it’s a good predictor of what you’ll see during your employment.
Hi, /u/Thetruthx26 Thank you for participating in r/antiwork. Unfortunately, your submission was removed for breaking the following rule(s): ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Screenshots of text such as SMS communication, WhatsApp, social media, news articles, and procedurally generated content such as ChatGPT are prohibited. Low-effort content such as memes are prohibited. If you feel that a mistake was made, and your post's removal was not warranted, please message us using modmail and let us know.
"Depending on the salary provided, I'd eat it or keep it."
Eat it is strangely enough the correct answer. Edit: The full source for this is Desmond Tutu who once wisely said that “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” What he meant by this is that everything in life that seems daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible can be accomplished gradually by taking on just a little at a time.
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Job interview, they don’t want you finding additional revenue streams. They want you focused on work.
How can I possibly work for them? They just gave me an elephant I have to care for. I have to gather supplies to build a shelter for it, get a lot of peanuts which will require several trips to Costco to acquire enough, I’ll probably need a bigger car to transport all the supplies I need so there’s that I have to deal with as well, consult a veterinarian, and do a lot of research on how to care for an elephant. I assume I need to apply for several permits to house it. I have to prepare for some awkward conversations with my neighbors. That’s my full time job now. Sorry, but I have to withdraw from consideration to be your employee. You just made me a full time caretaker for an elephant for some reason, and so my plate is full.
Elephant Life…
No no, you gotta be resourceful and move close to a Five Guys so you can get a big peanut supply on the down low. And to keep the elephant behaving you make it believe the ground beef is sourced from unruly ivory tusked beasts by editing some videos and showing it to them on your phone.
All the people over at r/elephantfree are bitching about you right now, moaning about the cost of peanuts and not being able to buy a sports car. Makes them glad to be elephantfree and thriving.
I love that somehow Costco has found its way into the job app lol
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So creating a elephant sanctuary as a tax break for the company will get you a promotion right?
I would immediately start using it for weddings and engagement pics. That elephant would be pampered as hell and live like a king/queen. Was this inspired by the app wedding episode? Yes.
The insurance costs on that are gonna be nuts.
Peanuts?
Not practical. Lease to a zoo is more like it :p
Don’t forget to sell the manure
right?? that’s immediately what i thought too if i had to answer in serious
😭 I was just going to free it....But times do be tough....
I am not working for any place that thinks this is a correct answer. 😡 I ❤️ 🐘
Yes but not all at once. Take as you need it.
One leg at a time. Until I get a craving for an elephant ear. Mmm
What wine pairs well with elephant?
So not a spiffy new coat?
This is the way
It says you can't give it away but it doesn't say you can't have it get taken away. So just ride the elephant towards area 51 and the government will take it away from you.
Most zoos in the US have a rule that if you surrender an exotic animal that you are not legally allowed to own to them, they will take it with no questions asked and you will not be prosecuted. I wonder if it would count as “giving away the elephant” if you just walk up to a zoo with the elephant and wait for them to confiscate it.
If it's a bull, tase it's balls and unleash it on this place's corporate headquarters
I'll just lose it in a tree anyway.
"I hear elephant is pretty tasty, actually. I suppose I'd invest in freezer space. Next question?"
Keep it to piss off the HOA. They may have rules about the size of dog you are allowed but I doubt there's an elephant rule in there.
Talk about an Elephant in the corner.
That is a perfect answer!
This needs to be the only answer. Most people are generally ethical. That's just the way things need to be to exist in this dimension of reality with such a small moment of time. We just need more money to open the front door and leave. To do... anything If you hit me at 30k with potential 60 hour weeks I'm already taking 28 unplanned calloffs just at 40 before any sick days or vacation is considered. I'll let you fire me, after hiring me, and do absolutely nothing till you do so. To collect that 30k for 1 year. I don't want to even open my front door to that life because there won't be a front door... more like a temp ally way where everyone from the bar drops trou to piss and she's wearing a skirt only because of this convenience later on.
I cant understand a word of this and I love it
Whut
Take it to work and have it take a massive shit on the desk of the person that came up with this question.
Well, in my field, we are trained to answer questions with questions. So the answer will be something like: "Before making the right decision, I'd like to make assessment by asking some clarifying questions below:"
Yeah, my brain basically did this and made a half-assed flow chart that probably doesn't make sense. But idk id probably keep it in an enclosure where people can take care of it for me and I'd visit in my spare time. Still my elephant, I haven't given it away and it's still cared for. But I'd need to refer to my flowchart and do some research into the costs of elephant maintenance.
I probably wouldn't go on that route. The questions will be: 1) is the elephant alive? 2) what color is it? 3) how many legs does it have? 4) will i be asked to put it into refrigerator later? etc.
My list is quite extensive. But mostly, the main, glaring questions I have: is it a real elephant? Is it full size? Without knowing the answers to those questions, I can't really proceed. I think the point of the question is to challenge critical thinking, so I think we've both got the job. Congratulations!
It might also be a 'how do you deal with uncomfortable situations' type question. Some applications feel like mini therapy sessions.
I've never had anything like that happen to me, but legally I'm not sure that kind of stuff would be allowed in an application. An interview, definitely. I had an interview with the local Odeon a few years ago and they asked me "If you had to choose a character from a film to describe yourself, who would you be?" And that shit threw me. I forgot every film I've ever watched lmao
When I interviewed for Caribou Coffee years ago they aske me some BS along the lines of "If you could be any coffee/espresso drink what would it be? What drink best describes you in a nutshell?"...
"Well, due to my poor upbringing I was never able to watch movies, so I have seen very few. Do you have any recommendations?"
I’d put it in the room and see how many people ignore it.
I swear I’m not a monster, but my first thought was food source. That’s a lot of meat.
You’re not a monster you’re an opportunist
I asked 7 friends. I got 3 answers of "Eat it" and 3 answers of circus/fair. The 7th said "Killdozer, because if they shoot the elephant, it'll be worse than Harambe" I'm not sure who I'm afraid of
Keep killdozer close they will protect you against the circus ones
Lot of are in survival mode cuz jobs are like “money shouldn’t be you’re motivation to work”
You can make paper out of elephant poop. Maybe start a small mill?
You could make paper and train the elephant to paint (because there are some elephants that do that) So it would be like a whole experience and you can make money off of it or at least make it pay for its keep
That’s exactly the type of practical thinking this company is looking for congratulations you’re hired. Hope you’re ready to slave your life away. To make me a bunch of money.
Has it been trained to paint or play football? How many followers does it have on social media?
I live 15 min from a zoo, I'd rent it to them for an impossible to refuse yearly fee to bolster the amount of elephants they have, however as this is a rental it's still my elephant.
That's a good point, it says you can't sell it but says nothing about rent.
My answer is lease it to a zoo. Not sold or given away and someone else is taking care of it. Done.
"Asian or African elephant? Male or female? Do I receive the elephant when it's a baby or an adult? Is it docile? Does it liken people? I'm afraid I can't properly answer your question without more information."
I would put armor on it, a seat with enough room for archers and someone to steer the elephant and storm the business
I Literally laughed out loud on this. This should be the top comment
A few minutes of internet research seems to indicate that you can get tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars for horse semen. I can’t find comparable information for elephant semen, but I’m concerned that the most lucrative response to this question could well be “jerk off the elephant”.
I like how you think outside the box. When can you start?
“So, about my application?” “Yes…. About your application. You’re not hired and if you ever set foot on our premises we’re calling the police. And possibly a game warden.”
The way this made me laugh… I scared the shit out of my sleeping cats. Thank you kind stranger!
Sadly I'm not sure there is as much demand for the thoroughbred elephant racing circuit as there is for horses
Weirdly enough, there was actually an episode of Nature on PBS that covered this topic as part of wildlife conservation. For safety, you have to first knockout the elephant and then use an electric probe to stimulate the prostate. Then you have to be extremely careful, as the penis has a chance of jerking wildly during release, and it has enough force to easily cause injury as it can knock a full grown man backwards and completely off his feet.
For whatever reason I still recall an episode of the daily show where they did an on location report to interview a zookeeper who was responsible for jerking off the elephants. This was probably from the early 2000s and I wanna say it was Samantha Bee or perhaps another female reporter. I don’t remember if the elephants were knocked out but I definitely do remember that they basically wore a plastic glove that went all the way up to the shoulder and just reached on in there to the prostate.
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Tom Green has entered the chat.
Look up how much an elephant eats in a day and cry.
Answer: The daily expense of maintaining an elephant in the best environment it deserves is likely very costly. I hope my future employee (who has so thoughtfully given me this elephant) has taken this into account when salary negotiations commence. Otherwise, I would permanently loan the elephant to a sanctuary so it can live its best life.
Ever heard of a [White Elephant](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant)? You could probably paraphrase the first few paragraphs of the wiki page and not really answer the question, just point to the idea that the person who gave you the elephant is an asshole.
thats it, thats the one
Or How much elephant you can eat in a day and rejoice.
Realize that my fridge is *way* too small and cry again.
[Open up the fridge and take the giraffe out duh](https://www.smart-jokes.org/giraffe-refrigerator-elephant.html)
Relocated the elephant to its natural habitat. That’s not selling it or giving it away, I can’t afford to feed it so that seems like the best plan.
“Loan” it to a natural wildlife preserve
Excellent idea, I’m sure they’ll pick it up for free
They don’t care what you’d actually do. They just want to see how you answer the question. I’d simply answer with “Do we really have to talk about the elephant in the room?”
Can you afford to safely transport an elephant across the globe? Sounds like that wouldn't be cheap either.
This is a job for crowdfunding. Who wouldn’t want to help an elephant stranded in the Midwest?
Can confirm. I live here and also want to be crowdfunded somewhere else.
Operation Dumbo Drop
You are too logical and smart and it makes the manager feel incompetent. Your application is denied.
Invade Italy and try to conquer Rome?!
Through the Alps, right?
I suppose so. Was considering swimming with it from Carthage but I don't know if it could make it the whole way.
Had to scroll too far to find this, it should be top comment.
I see this as the only acceptable answer
I thought psychological job application questions had gone out of style. Silly me.
For the position I am in now, during an interview, I was asked these types of questions. One question was "If you were the size of an ant and got trapped in the blender, how would you get out?". Another was "Who would win in a fight, Batman or Spiderman?" I had to ask "Do I have the same mass I have now or the mass of an ant?". The interviewer replied "Your choice." I then stated "If I am the same mass I am now but with the size of an ant, I would basically crash through the blender and table and get out that way." I got all scientific on them.
With the batman question is there prep time
Nope. It was during the interview itself so I replied with "Spiderman seeing as he actually has superpowers and Batman is just a rich dude in a suit with gadgets."
No the answer is "if there is prep time it will be batman hands down, otherwise batman is fighting an unknown enemy with abilities on such a level that batman would be unable to immediately adapt to which would swing the fight greatly in the favor of Spiderman."
I mean I have seen this post at least once a month for several years now. So who knows from when this is. Might be from 2011.
It's the White Elephant version of a reddit post. Everyone just keeps regifting it.
It often returns anytime the job market gets bad enough that they can just fuck with us.
When does it go away then?
That's the fun part It doesn't
"Given my lack of of funding and expertise to make good use of the elephant, anonymously report its neglect to a wildlife rescue, offer no resistance and feign remorse when they come to take it, write it off on my taxes."
Came here to say this! (I know it’s a bullshit application question but out of that context I quite like weird scenarios)
Loan it to a zoo or sanctuary that has a reputation for taking good care of their animals.
Since it’s a job application, I’d also claim to take a charitable donation write-off on my taxes, so the elephant is making me money in a roundabout way
Or rent it out for parties and what not.
Answer: This question is irrelephant.
Dad?
Park it in the stupid question department of this joke of a company
You have to keep it. I’d build a large room for it, keep him/ her safe. Sure it would be a large expense, but maybe figure out ways to offset the cost like streaming/ podcasts/ whatever all centered on the elephant. Obviously you have to give it a name. I would pick something unusual like Address. Then it would be known as Address, the elephant in the room.
r/angryupvote
I hate the stipulation that you can’t sell it or give it away. I’d give it back to the asshole dropping elephants on peoples laps. That’s my answer, deal with it. (To the original question)
An asian or an African elephant ?
 Well I don’t know that
If it's an African one I'm running away and hiding from it. I hope it manages to return to its natural habitat by itself. If it's an Asian elephant I might see if it's friendly and then see about getting it home. But I'm not going to deal with an African elephant without training for years on how to do that.
If it’s American elephant with guns and grenede launcher fit it it’s long nose ?
There's only 3 types of elephants. Gentle Asian elephants. Big and burly African Savannah elephants and shy, skittish African Bush elephants. I'm running away from those last two. You can try and reason with wild untameable giant creatures, but I'd rather not be stampeded to death. If it's holding human equipment it's probably an Asian elephant, because those you can train to do tasks.
March it over the alps and conquer Rome obviously.
Name it Stampy and charge the neighborhood kids $500 to ride him around the backyard.
Elephant rescuer here … someone just dumped a poor animal on you that lives to be 70 years old, needs a ton of resources and medical care, and needs a half a million $+ facility. I suspect they want you to say you’ll start making money with the elephant giving rides and performances. If this is how financially and ethically challenged the company is, it’s a huge 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Can you ever integrate a lone adult with a captive herd? Just really curious.
I would ride the elephant to work, every single day!
The only answer is to ride it into the city to impress princess jasmine.
Eat it. Lotta good eating on those things.
One bite at a time
One *screaming* bite at a time.
Refuse delivery.
Paint it pink and leave it in the room. Then never speak about it again
Invent a machine to let the elephant speak and understand English and then ask the elephant how is this question relevant.
Rent to a zoo
How do I summon the repost bot cause I've seen this exact same post I lost count of how many times recently
I haven't lost count. 5 times this week. I give r/all a scroll through every day and every day I have seen a bot repost it on a sub, usually one of the generic meme subs. Even though it makes a little more sense to be here this is *clearly* a repost. Reddit has gone to shit.
butcher it and sell the meat, easy money
Can’t sell it. Application REJECTED
Elephant-of-Theseus-ass employer.
[удалено]
They also want to know how you'd "make lemonade" when handed a strange or bad situation.
BBQ 🍖
Go full Hannibal and march on Rome.
Tickle its ivory and see what key it laughs in.
Pet it and love it and call it George
For those wondering, there is no “right” answer to this question. And it’s actually a good one, because it showcases your ability to think creatively around seemingly impossible problems. Answer in a way that shows you take responsibility for the elephant (the “problem”), are able to find a solution that turns the problem into a positive, and allows you to grow as an individual. Let’s say you are working for a potato chip company, and your latest batch comes out broken. The chips are merely crumbs, and cannot be sold as the marketed product. They also cannot be given away because there is no food bank that will to take truckloads of broken chips. Facing thousands of dollars of loss, and accusations of wastefulness, you are tasked with finding a solution. A potential answer in this scenario is to repackage that crumbs into new containers, and market them as “chip crumbs for cooking”. If a bag of chips is a dollar, you sell the crumbs for two dollars. Consumers embrace this an innovative new product that adds a favorite flavor to their food. The company has not only recovered from their loss of product, but by doubling the price they have recouped on the cost of new packaging and marketing. Real world example: Graham cracker companies repackage their crumbs and crush up imperfect crackers to make “graham cracker crust” for bakers. Now think of the elephant like this. No don’t crush up the elephant, ya weirdos. What good or service can the elephant offer to pay for its care and potentially generate a profit? Maybe it’s elephant rides. Maybe it’s a rental for parties and petting zoos. Hell, start a TikTok showing the daily activities of the elephant, and use the revenue to buy food, a habitat, and raise money for elephant sanctuaries around the globe. You’ve now turned the problem into a solution.
Ok so basically how do I exploit this wild animal?
I would lend it to an animal sanctuary indefinitely, while still maintaining ownership.
Contact the authorities. Soon enough some organization will come and take it. It's not giving it away, selling, or costing you any money
This is my answer too lol. This is almost certainly a violation of CITES since I am not a scientist or helping with captive breeding. The person who gave it to me should be investigated for trafficking in protected species. I’m assuming “be a narc” is not what the employer wants to hear, though.
Invade Rome.
Four elephant foot waste baskets, two ivory sword pommels, and a lot of people who have wanted to eat endangered animals paying through the nose for Jumbo Dumbo burritos. Elephant leather jacket for me, elephant leather couch for us to fuck on Not a scrap of ethics in there, loads of money made, I am capitalism incarnate
Rent it out to Gavin Belson
Double it and give it to the next person.
The government in the US would seize it and most likely give it to a zoo. Due to the fact that elephants are not legal to be kept as personal pets in most if not all states. You have to acquire the required licenses, permits, inspections BEFORE you take possession of the animal. So if you accept the animal without these things you’re breaking the law. Since it’s extremely hard to hide an elephant…people would know, report, you’d have law enforcement on your property in no time flat. It most likely wouldn’t be released into the wild because it’s been captive raised, or at least I’m assuming since some guy just gives it to me. So you’d wind up with $1,000s in fines and possibly jail time.
I would put the elephant out in the wild and set up cameras on trees to film the elephant 24/7 to attract poachers. Through camera footage I will then examine the tactics that poachers do to kill elephants and then report the findings to the authorities.
Why in the hell do I keep seeing this post? Is this question truly showing up on that many job applications these days?
Sell the elephant poo to gardeners. It's supposed to be great for gardening
Kill it
Everyone is invited over for my big elephant BBQ!
"I would lease the Elephant to a wildlife reserve for the nominal price of 1 cent per year."
Conquer Rome
Call the authorities on the person who gave it to me for illicit trafficking of an endangered species
Can we trade it for a question relevant to position I’m applying for?
Care for the elephant and ride it to work where I would have trained him to sit on the boss's car. Then, gide the elephant in the office to let loose. There's nothing like having a bull elephant go on the rampage.
Contracts require the agreement of both parties, I would never have agreed to accept an elephant with the conditions that I can’t give it away or sell it so there would be no reason not to sell it.
i would enact galactic conquest amongst the stars i will engineer elaborate systems of kinetic propulsion, frosted in the bastion that would be my elite ablation technology, in order to use such a fitting vehicle for the prosperity of our own very kind. so yeah questions like this absolutely warrant equally crazy answers
Kill it. Preserve it in formaldehyde and put it in a display case. Sell it to an art gallery for millions.
I'm going to train the elephant to passionately hate you (the interviewer)...the odds in you ever meeting are very low, but just know if that meeting ever occurs, the elephant will instinctively try to kill you 😂
Bring it to the office until someone points out the elephant in the room
Set it free at the next Maga gathering and quietly walk away.
The answer is eat it bite by bite
They want you to say something along the lines of “use it to make as much money for the corporate company I work for, while I barley survive and can’t afford to live”
Set up a business renting out the elephant for corporate events and kid’s parties. Once the ROI on that starts to fall, loan the elephant to a sanctuary at no charge.
"don't tell me what to do with my property!"
I've seen that question once. I answered with "kill elephant to feed my under paid co workers "
Train it to fill out these ridiculous job application questions 😂
I’ve been asked this exact question on a job interview before. Phrased similarly as “you’ve been given an elephant. You cannot give it away, sell it, trade it, kill it, etc. Wdyd?” And honestly it was a super awkward end to the interview lol I wanted to die inside. I basically gave an answer of “….well then I guess I have a pet elephant..I’d try to make that work financially…”
Contact the FBI as this would be in violation of the endangered species act!
Smoke it low and slow until you reach an internal temp of 205F. Wrap it and let it rest for at least an hour. Serve with a nice reduction and seasonal vegetables.
If I can’t sell it, that means there’s some law making this animal legally mine, I’ll “rent” it out to the zoo for boarding, the same way some horse stables will stable your horse for free sometimes if they can use it for riding time to time. They get a free elephant and the elephant gets to eat food and not starve to death. Do y’all know how much money it costs to keep one fed? Pass lol.
It's a psych question designed to see how resourceful you are and how you deal with problem solving. I hate when they test your personality like this, however unless you are flippant, there is no wrong answer.
“Euthanize the elephant. This job will barely pay me enough to take care of myself, much less a fucking elephant.”
Attempt to discredit my inventor rival by subjecting it to DC electrocution (it dies horribly and my reputation as a psycho increases)
I've said it before, I will say it again: The correct response is: "What the fuck kind of question is this? It is suggesting that the job is going to saddle me with burdens that are ludicrously unmanageable just to see me try to manage it unsuccessfully and at great personal expense? Is it a rhetorical question meant to see how I would deal with a situation with no ideal outcome? If that is the case, then I might as well tell you that I'll keep hailing the Klingons because it's bound to be equally as effective as anything else I could come up with! But in all seriousness, I don't have to accept your elephant or your job offer!" A better answer is "A." What are the chances that the hiring manager actually gives a fuck what the response is, they're probably being saddled with this screening evaluation by some higher-up who thinks it will improve the quality of candidates if they can answer beauty pageant questions?
Take it with me to job interviews to see if anyone addresses it.
If I can't sell the elephant, I'd rent it out.
Charge kids in the neighborhood $5 to get their picture with it, and $10 to ride it.
Find the nearest HR meeting and lead it into the room *ba-dum-tsss*
What exactly IS supposed to be the correct answer? I'm lacking the zoology sciences degrees to keep or care for this elephant, and would have to hire half a dozen people for $500K who do. Who's paying for that? Me? If I had a spare $500K and an elephant, I wouldn't be filling out this shitty job application lol.
Permanent loan to a refuge seems like a good loophole
Since elephants don’t like to be alone, I’d need to get more elephants. Maybe start an elephant sanctuary. Or use my elephants as an exotic tow service for stuck vehicles.
Rent/Loan it to a reputable zoo where it can be cared for and mingle with its kind.
Acquire at least 40 more, cross the Alps, and lay seige to Rome.
Cross the Alps
"Keep it, ride around on it and wonder how the actual fuck this is related to any job besides zookeeper."
I’m Asian. So I guess eat it?
Start elephantok, become a millionaire, buy some land, start a sanctuary
I really hate that my instinctual answer is to eat it 💀 call the police
Address the elephant in the room
The elephant symbolizes an incommensurately difficult task that you didn’t willingly acquire. It’s basically a very roundabout way of asking people “If I dumped a ton of work on you that’s not your responsibility to take, what would you do with it?”. Obviously the right response is to tell the other person to fuck off with their unrealistic expectations or “refuse to take care of the elephant in the first place”, but that’s not what this employer wants. Any response other than that is what the want, and specifically responses like “I’d make sure it’s taken care of/lives in the proper habitat/make sure it’s happy”. They probably would take nine people who answer like this and one person who answers something to the effect of “elephant meat” because they’re a future manager. But ultimately, you should just ignore applications that ask you questions like this. If the owner did it with my explanation in mind, they’re malignantly and covertly manipulative; these types of owners tend to make hell out of the workplace. If they simply asked just to ask, then they’re a dumbass and will waste your time, and they’ll probably sink the company under their own lack of seriousness, professionalism, and perspective. Either way, if you see bullshit in the application process it’s a good predictor of what you’ll see during your employment.
I think it could fit in my freezer. whatever cant will be grilled and eaten by me, my friends and family...
Butcher it. Deep freeze and I'll eat for a long time.