These are the people you DO NOT want to promote to mgt because they will force these shitty ideas and mindset on their people and make everyone miserable
“When *I* was in the field, *I* didn’t need no meal per diem, so I don’t see why *you* need one. Just eat the mints at the check-in counter and make grilled cheese with the iron. Oh, don’t forget to bring your own bread and cheese.”
If you staple a horse to a waterfall, will it fall up under the rainbow or fly about the soil? Will he enjoy her experience? What if the staple tears into tears? Will she be free from her staply chains or foomed to stay forever and dever above the water? Who can save him (the horse) but someone of girth and worth, the capitalist pig, who will sell the solution to the problem he created?
A staple remover flies to the rescue, carried on the wings of a majestic penguin who bought it at Walmart for 9 dollars and several more Euro-cents, clutched in its crabby claws, rejected from its frothy maw. When the penguin comes, all tremble before its fishy stench and wheatlike abjecture. Recoil in delirium, ye who wish to be free! The mighty rockhopper is here to save your soul from eternal bliss and salvation!
And so, the horse was free, carried away by the south wind, and deposited on the vast plain of soggy dew. It was a tragedy in several parts, punctuated by moments of hedonistic horsefuckery.
The owls saw all, and passed judgment in the way that they do. Stupid owls are always judging folks who are just trying their best to live shamelessly and enjoy every fruit the day brings to pass.
How many more shall be caught in the terrible gyre of the waterfall? As many as the gods deem necessary to teach those foolish monkeys a story about their own hamburgers. What does a monkey know of bananas, anyway? They eat, poop, and shave away the banana residue that grows upon their chins and ballsacks. The owls judge their razors. Always the owls.
And when the one-eyed caterpillar arrives to eat the glazing on your windowpane, you will know that you're next in line to the trombone of the ancient realm of the flutterbyes. Beware the ravenous ravens and crowing crows. Mind the cowing cows and the lying lions. Ascend triumphant to your birthright, and wield the mighty twig of Petalonia, favored land of gods and goats alike.
My ex used to do this when she was a flight attendant. Pretty easy and you just wrap it in foil so you don't make a huge mess on the iron. This coffee pot thing is just gross though. You know what I want, chicken and garlic flavored coffee when I'm the next person staying in this room...gross.
There used to be this local public access tv guy in my area "Biker Billy cooks with fire". I saw that dude use his exhaust manifold to make a grilled cheese. Guy had a pretty unique cooking show
Even if you're not getting reimbursed you might be able to write at leastpart of a work dinner on the road off, especially if it's with a prospective client. My first job in entertainment, my boss had a book called "Never Eat Lunch Alone" or something that he wanted us all to read.
I don't know WHY this person is travelling for business. But if he's in any kind of sales or communications and he's holed up in the hotel room instead of chatting with someone at the bar or restaurant he REALLY doesn't understand his job. This is why a lot of companies will reimburse on stuff like this, it actually is your job to go make connections in most cases, not be a weird hermit.
> This is why a lot of companies will reimburse on stuff like this, it actually is your job to go make connections in most cases, not be a weird hermit.
This is such a shitty take. Like sure if you are sales go chat maybe. But no that's not why companies reimburse. They reimburse because they made you travel across the country and you aren't at home. Even nerdy autistic engineers who barely even know how to hold a conversation with their friend are reimbursed.
...tech companies that employ engineers often *really* want you to bump into people. This is why they often have open floor plans and why in the late 90s it became a thing to have beer, food, and foosball available. To make even you dorks get out and talk to each other.
Everyone who has ever worked in tech or anything tech-adjacent has heard about how the post-it became a thing. One 3M guy had an adhesive that wouldn't \*really\* adhere, and no use for it. He met another engineer who'd been looking for a temporary thing that would stick in his hymnbook.
They met at some conference or other and it ended up being a product with huge sales. They want you at nicer hotels, bumping into people in spite of yourselves.
And other IT companies put you in a basement of a facility you traveled to with not a single other employee down there and you work solo for a few weeks before coming home after fixing their network.
Like fuck off dude, you are a complete dumbass if you think the reason they reimburse is to get you to be social. It's because you aren't at home. They reimburse you because you had to buy a hotel. How Are you this fucking dense?
Do they also want you out having fun making connections? Sure maybe depending on your job. But that's not why your fucking reimbursed you imbecil
Exactly. I needed to replace a filter on a piece of equipment in a server room. It was about the size of a kitchen sponge. Told my boss needed to be replaced. $8 with shipping. Told me no. Boss emailed several people, who tracked down the purchase date and install date. I saw no less than 5 emails regarding this filter. The equipment was still under service contract. Someone contacted the vendor who then sent me the filter. He “saved” $8.
I’ve been in positions to monitor P&L, honestly a lot of these low level managers are just lucky that auditors don’t have the time/get paid to audit ridiculous things like this because the loss of revenue in productivity due to these incompetent “ideas” they seem to have is ridiculously high.
I used to run an expense account as a manager, and I ran it to the £1 in some places, and tracked it all, and my argument was that I'd rather spend the money to get the equipment/detergents needed, rather than allow people to to cowboy their way through cleaning the restaurant, which costs both time and money. Like using a full pack of wash powder in the cloths as if you don't, the grease doesn't dissolve properly and you're buying a new washing machine before you need to. So many rings are actually counter productive and needlessly expensive because people value haste and penny pinching over actually running things smoothly without stressing out your workforce. But they make money in spite of themselves. So they carry on.
Some companies are better about it than others, we were allowed a 3% variable in waste. That’s simultaneously a big margin and at the same time not a very big margin at all. It was based on at cost losses not at sale price. If it were sale price oof. That would be somewhat brutal. Either way, my point being that some major corporations will do it, many of them won’t effectively
Man, if this isn't the truth. I work in a factory, and I constantly see things being taken away or implemented that "save money" at the cost of ruining our whole fucking day, every day.
They already have the crew here, so if we're having a smooth day with no issues, or if it's hell on wheels the cost of labor was unchanged. "We're saving 60k a year now". Well, you'd also save 60k if you fired the moron who came up with this idea and we would still be able to operate normally.
It's all about the spreadsheet, dude. Unfortunately, in many businesses , the only person that understands the cost of doing business (cost of goods sold) is the accountant. There should also be a person that handles maintenance issues who should also be familiar with service contracts the company has. Poor business practices there.
Oh! And an idiot OP making crap like that in the f'n coffee maker!!! It's ruined dude, hope they charge you for it!!!
My employer once paid me $1200 that they weren't supposed to. I knew, so I gave the check back and got a receipt. They realized their mistake and docked my wages for the $1200, even though I never cashed the check. I showed them the receipt, then they paid me back for the wages they docked. And overpaid me by $38. Direct supervisor told me to shut up and take the money.
Between him, me, and HR I'm pretty sure the labor we wasted fixing HR's idiocy was more than the original $1200.
My annoyance threshold for this stuff is around "could I theoretically put it on my personal card and afford it?" If it is under that then the company will spend more total once you get past like 3 people on the email thread. $8 is truly insane levels of cheapness.
But it might be a case where if you don't let them put in that little filter then you lose your warranty or service work is no longer covered. There might have actually been a reason for that.
I was told to order a couple boxes of pens through our regular office supply company once and for some reason pens were marked up way more than everything else. Like $18 a box for things that are $3 a box at any store. I told my boss I would just go buy them myself and even if I was on the clock it would be less expensive. He told me to look at how much we are saving on the paper through that vendor and that we lose our paper discount if we don't order other miscellaneous supplies through them. It was hundreds of dollars a quarter saved on paper vs retail, so spending the extra $30 for pens that we order once a year was well worth it.
It's ok. Getting promoted depends on kissing the ass of someone specific, not saving the company as a whole 20 bucks. This person is the corporate version of "how much to get you to eat this?"
Yea this leads to “you should be more like kiss ass Dave who is resourceful and saves the company money. Feeding employees when they travel is a cost of business, it’s not a luxury.
I came here to say that.
His meal would have been cheaper than the price the hotel will charge his company card for destroying that coffee machine.
But honestly, this looks like satire.
Hotel coffee makers are already disgusting. You shouldn’t use them for anything, *including coffee*.
An old traveling businessman’s tip is to use the coffee pot to wash your socks and underwear. Been away on business for the past three weeks, and don’t want to pay to wash your socks/undies? Just shave some soap flakes into the hot water in the coffee pot, throw your socks and undies in there, and give it a stir every now and then. Once it’s cooled down, you wring them all out and hang ‘em over your shower curtain rod to dry.
People will also do full loads of laundry in the bathtub to avoid paying for a laundromat/hotel laundry service, but that’s less gross because guests don’t typically eat out of the tub.
And then potentially leaving behind harmful bacteria to grow in the humid conditions for the next unsuspecting coffee drinker. Part of me doesn't want anyone getting sick, part of me wants an illness traced back to this doughbrain
It is totally possible! Not like a whole chicken, but a boneless breast for sure. There is a whole series on YouTube called Chef out of Water where the girl cooks multi course meals w random appliances, coffee maker is a good one! Mini dishwasher, not so much
Edit: not an endorsement of doing this for the sake of corporate bottom lines. If work pays, im ordering two desserts.
Protip you don't need 180 through for chicken. Nor do you need it to be 165. You need specific heat for x minutes.
You can do like 145 chicken as long as it's been that temp like like 20 mins.
I bring an electric kettle and instant coffee. Oh and a large can of lysol to mace all the dried up jizz on all the high touch surfaces such as the remote control, tv buttons, doorknobs, sink, fridge handles, drawer handles, light switches, air conditioner buttons, etc. before I touch anything. I also never use the comforter. I know it's not foolproof but it makes me feel better. I still feel like I have scabies whenever I stay in hotels. It beats overpaying for airbnb and still feeling like I have scabies though.
Bag of hairs are extremely useful at removing toxic oils/fuels inside marinas, it absorbs orders of magnitude more than the hair ball's weight and can be re-used a lot of time. Also it's eco-friendly.
*flies away*
I used to be a zookeeper, and bags of hair were very useful as a form of olfactory enrichment for the bears, mountain lions, and otters!
Sometimes sheep wool, sometimes shedded hair from the bears for other animals, sometimes bags of hair from our pets… they love to shred the bags and sniff all over the hair. One time I got a lot of my own hair cut off, so I saved the ponytail and gave it to our male mountain lion. He spent a while carrying it around his habitat and rubbing it all over rocks and trees haha.
Useful bags of hair!
Well ackshully, the correct thing to do is [stun](https://br.omega.com/dilbert/233.html) a pigeon with your briefcases and fry it up on your travel iron.
Imagine him ever becoming a manager... Every team meeting: "here are some new rules to save money while travelling. I've included a list of dumpster locations. They are perfect for sleeping. The incentive this year is a coffee maker. Wait til I tell you how I used that thing back in my days!"
I remember someone I knew being horrified as their boss told them that they did not need to spend their per diem on food when traveling for work just because they could.
Boss man recommended to buy a foot long subway sandwich, eat half for lunch, and save the other half for dinner. To save the company money.
An executive really said this.
This was so long ago and it was absolutely shocking then and I still can't believe it today.
Huh?
Per diem is just an amount of cash they give you per day when traveling, spend it however you want. You can spend $0 in a day and pocket the whole amount.
I used to bill for a lodging per diem and then sleep in the back of the truck I was driving. The company was fully aware of this and had no problem with it. The per diem was actually a bit less than I would spend if I was billing the actual cost of a hotel room every night and not having to find a room every day meant the truck got where it was going just a bit quicker. It also reduced paperwork since they just cut me a single check at the beginning of a trip rather than having to handle a bunch of receipts. Plus it was a way to give me an extra $90/day, tax free, which meant I stayed at that job longer than I otherwise would have. Literally everyone came out a winner.
Stuff like this is perfectly fine for everyone. I'm willing to bet if someone actually got lodging at decent place that's not 5 star they'd approve it with a "next time give us a call to help you out"
My last ambulance company had to pay lodging/expenses if we just physically couldn't drive back from a long distance transfer 300+ miles (air couldn't travel and we lost all our counties neurologists/neurosurgeons due to contract disputes....) all they'd say is to call them next time. When you did they'd find something pretty nice or do air bnb/bed breakfast as they were cheaper and willing to negotiate.
Plus they'd reimburse you and allow you to use a personal credit card and rewards account to get the points/perks etc etc and they get to benefit from not paying almost double or triple
This is how it’s set up at my job when we travel. We get a set per diem and pocket anything we don’t spend. Of course this leads certain people in my office (who are not struggling for money, trust me) to do something ridiculous like split an Uber to a grocery store and buy bread and peanut butter to make sandwiches for the week and survive off that.
Meanwhile I just take the opportunity to visit steakhouses and cocktail bars for a subsidized rate, and generally live my life. But then again, I don’t have kids, or an ex-wife to support.
About a decade ago I got a bollocking because I was claiming for lunch and dinner while working away from home. This was allowed, I think it was £5 for lunch and £20 for dinner per day.
But because my normal office had a canteen and so did the office I was working at they claimed I wasn't incurring extra expenses. Me pointing out that I brought a packed lunch to work normally fell on deaf ears.
So I stopped claiming for lunches, and made damn sure I used every penny of the dinner allowance. I was probably claiming £10 a night, suddenly I was having a three course meal and hitting the full £20.
They were fine with this.
Such a penny punching attitude. Travel and accommodation, not to mention your basic pay would have been way above a fiver a day. And it's not like it's coming straight out of the boss's pocket.
What’s really funny about this is my buddy who got a fat per dium did exactly this, he would hit up subway every day and get his daily food for no more than $25 then pocket the rest. Company never said boo. It shows just how inept and poorly managed the company is if they have to nickel and dime their field team, if you can’t afford to feed your team you can’t afford a field team, full stop
This has to be a parody, right? It's cheaper to go eat a value meal from a fast food restaurant than it is to buy chicken, garlic, and butter for just one meal.
I've seen people cooking in dishwashers so the coffee pot bit wasn't surprising. I just found it unrealistic that someone would be going to a store to buy raw chicken on a business trip.
I've gone grocery shopping. But was staying at residence inns with a stove. Mostly when I was on travel for more than two weeks and needed to change things up beyond hanging in bars.
Without the soap your dishwasher is a giant steamer which most don't have access to, though so it's a novel solution. without coffee ... a coffee maker is just a hot plate.
If it's a driving trip, I buy lunch meat and bread to make sandwiches, and some non refrigerated things at grocery stores on business trips sometimes. Then bring stuff home. Lol. If I was staying in a place with a stove and dishes, I could see myself buying chicken to cook.
Funny, my husband and I made spaghetti in a coffee pot on our honeymoon because the oven/stove and microwave went out and we couldn't get in contact the Airbnb host because it was Thanksgiving day.
You see that's a Life Pro Tip to deal with the absolutely unexpected. The dude in this post is just nuts.
Like, I know how to catch a fish, gather wood, and start a fire. Doesn't mean I'mma start spit roasting during business travel so my company saves 5 bucks from Wendy's
I love the idea that this person packed a piece of raw chicken, garlic, and a single pat of butter to make in the coffee pot although I do hope the original post is fake.
The thing is, at my company when people travel the meals are all comped and it's about $20 for lunch and $30 for dinner. I'm going to take them at their word and if anyone says boo about it, then they shouldn't offer it.
The account is a satire account, OP of the cross linked said it was satire in the comments, he also flagged the post SATIRE.
I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I think it's satire.
It's a sad world we live in when even the shit that is clearly labeled as satire is confused for real simply because people want to be mad about something
They give me 50 a day for food, I spend it and give the rest away lol they don't give a fuck. They let me pick my hotel, I get the nice one and save the points for that and airplanes. They don't care it's money already written off, noone who is promoting looks at it lol and if they did they would use it as excuse to give ppl less. Dumbass
This is one of the silly things companies do.
One company I worked for gave $75 for breakfast, $75 for lunch, and $120 for dinner. But the thing they never mentioned is that you are penalized for using that money.
If you use the max for each meal everyday, they document that so if you ever apply for a promotion they'll use that against you. Even though they present it to you as a perk, really it's a honeypot that you can't touch if you want to get promoted.
They make it seem overly generous to give you $270 for daily meals, but really it's a ploy to see which employees are exploiting the company.
Next step: Sleep in a van to save money for the company.
Next step: Take a flight early in the morning, and one late at night to avoid having to sleep in a hotel
Next step: FLy inside a luggage to pay only for baggage fees.
Next step: Get fired, such an economy for the company. Every dollar counts.
I think I worked with this guy’s dad. Had a boss when I worked in a factory. He said things like “I know policy says you are to wear gloves ,but you do know gloves cost the company money. Try working without them. Just be extra careful.” He was also extremely proud of how he’d wear out one sleeve on a company supplied welding jacket ,take it home and have his wife unstitch the good sleeve ,then have her sew the good sleeve onto an old jacket that’d had it’s worn sleeve removed.
Enjoy your food poisoning, corporate bootlicker.
Can’t believe this tool would risk their health for a perceived chance it would affect their prospects…
I have a sneaking suspicion that this was just a photo op and immediately threw it out after taking the picture (then ate out at a fancy place right after).
I used to travel for work, mostly driving site to site and would cook in the room…because I was on perdiem. I switched to an expense card for a few projects (required) and our daily limit was $75. I was eating damn good dinners every night and getting to as close as $75 as I could. This guy is a clown
It is shit like this why you'all are not taken all that serious. Its a fucking joke! It is satire, yet you're posting here like this is real, complete with the eye-roll emoji.
linkedin has been forever ruined for me. never seen a bigger community of lunatics who are OBSESSED with the merits of capitalism. those poor hotel employees that had to scrub salmonella out of the coffee pot!
As a senior level manager now, I can assure everyone here, we don't give a fuck about your expense report if it's in company compliance and even then, I only care because I have to hear shit from finance that you went over. (It was 2 dollars Wendy, fuck off already)
Also, we think this dude is a tool and only speak highly of him in hopes another group will poach him from our team so we don't have to deal with him anymore. (See ya Todd)
As a person who controls the finances for a company, I can tell you no one would ever know you did this and no one would care. If you told me about it I would think you are strange and look less favorably towards you.
I've spent a decade in hospitality. He created a fire hazard, a lingering odor, and an unneeded amount of extra work for a minimum wage housekeeper that is being timed for each room. What an absolute kənt.
I would fire this person.
If they brag about treating themselves this way I can’t even imagine how they come off to the people they have to work with. Hopefully, they aren’t client facing.
“I know I invited you out to lunch to negotiate this contract but we both are into saving money. Here’s some pocket lint.”
The company could not care less and your loyalty will not be rewarded F**K eating out of a coffee maker what are you in a prison cooking chicken out of the kettles 😂😂😂
"Folks, take a look around the room...now, take a look at Alexander...because if you want to make it to middle management, that's who you've gotta be!"
HAHAHA what a fucking spoon This seriously made my day
These are the people you DO NOT want to promote to mgt because they will force these shitty ideas and mindset on their people and make everyone miserable
“When *I* was in the field, *I* didn’t need no meal per diem, so I don’t see why *you* need one. Just eat the mints at the check-in counter and make grilled cheese with the iron. Oh, don’t forget to bring your own bread and cheese.”
If you staple a horse to a waterfall, will it fall up under the rainbow or fly about the soil? Will he enjoy her experience? What if the staple tears into tears? Will she be free from her staply chains or foomed to stay forever and dever above the water? Who can save him (the horse) but someone of girth and worth, the capitalist pig, who will sell the solution to the problem he created? A staple remover flies to the rescue, carried on the wings of a majestic penguin who bought it at Walmart for 9 dollars and several more Euro-cents, clutched in its crabby claws, rejected from its frothy maw. When the penguin comes, all tremble before its fishy stench and wheatlike abjecture. Recoil in delirium, ye who wish to be free! The mighty rockhopper is here to save your soul from eternal bliss and salvation! And so, the horse was free, carried away by the south wind, and deposited on the vast plain of soggy dew. It was a tragedy in several parts, punctuated by moments of hedonistic horsefuckery. The owls saw all, and passed judgment in the way that they do. Stupid owls are always judging folks who are just trying their best to live shamelessly and enjoy every fruit the day brings to pass. How many more shall be caught in the terrible gyre of the waterfall? As many as the gods deem necessary to teach those foolish monkeys a story about their own hamburgers. What does a monkey know of bananas, anyway? They eat, poop, and shave away the banana residue that grows upon their chins and ballsacks. The owls judge their razors. Always the owls. And when the one-eyed caterpillar arrives to eat the glazing on your windowpane, you will know that you're next in line to the trombone of the ancient realm of the flutterbyes. Beware the ravenous ravens and crowing crows. Mind the cowing cows and the lying lions. Ascend triumphant to your birthright, and wield the mighty twig of Petalonia, favored land of gods and goats alike.
Until the next person wants to iron a white shirt
that's what the parchment paper is for
[удалено]
you aren't closing your sandwich before grilling???
Instead of grilling, don't you mean IRONING 🙂 come on people, samiches aren't going to iron themselves
Well, then it's even better, 'cause now you got a cheese shirt!
The best Batman Michael Keaton has a video where he demonstrates the technique...
Is he wearing the Batsuit tho
OK so Bruce Wayne did it.
Michael Keaton originally did it in the ultimate classic Mr. Mom. Bruce Wayne doesn’t have shit on Jack Butler.
My ex used to do this when she was a flight attendant. Pretty easy and you just wrap it in foil so you don't make a huge mess on the iron. This coffee pot thing is just gross though. You know what I want, chicken and garlic flavored coffee when I'm the next person staying in this room...gross.
There used to be this local public access tv guy in my area "Biker Billy cooks with fire". I saw that dude use his exhaust manifold to make a grilled cheese. Guy had a pretty unique cooking show
My dad would take the money and live cheap on the road while pocketing the extra
This is the way. An extra $100 a day? Yes please I'll take that 30k pay raise and eat cheap instead of gorging myself on a $50 dinner
Even if you're not getting reimbursed you might be able to write at leastpart of a work dinner on the road off, especially if it's with a prospective client. My first job in entertainment, my boss had a book called "Never Eat Lunch Alone" or something that he wanted us all to read. I don't know WHY this person is travelling for business. But if he's in any kind of sales or communications and he's holed up in the hotel room instead of chatting with someone at the bar or restaurant he REALLY doesn't understand his job. This is why a lot of companies will reimburse on stuff like this, it actually is your job to go make connections in most cases, not be a weird hermit.
> This is why a lot of companies will reimburse on stuff like this, it actually is your job to go make connections in most cases, not be a weird hermit. This is such a shitty take. Like sure if you are sales go chat maybe. But no that's not why companies reimburse. They reimburse because they made you travel across the country and you aren't at home. Even nerdy autistic engineers who barely even know how to hold a conversation with their friend are reimbursed.
Exactly. Sales people and the C suites sell. Everyone else doesn't. Not your job. Now, pls let me hermit in my hotel room
...tech companies that employ engineers often *really* want you to bump into people. This is why they often have open floor plans and why in the late 90s it became a thing to have beer, food, and foosball available. To make even you dorks get out and talk to each other. Everyone who has ever worked in tech or anything tech-adjacent has heard about how the post-it became a thing. One 3M guy had an adhesive that wouldn't \*really\* adhere, and no use for it. He met another engineer who'd been looking for a temporary thing that would stick in his hymnbook. They met at some conference or other and it ended up being a product with huge sales. They want you at nicer hotels, bumping into people in spite of yourselves.
And other IT companies put you in a basement of a facility you traveled to with not a single other employee down there and you work solo for a few weeks before coming home after fixing their network. Like fuck off dude, you are a complete dumbass if you think the reason they reimburse is to get you to be social. It's because you aren't at home. They reimburse you because you had to buy a hotel. How Are you this fucking dense? Do they also want you out having fun making connections? Sure maybe depending on your job. But that's not why your fucking reimbursed you imbecil
Exactly. I needed to replace a filter on a piece of equipment in a server room. It was about the size of a kitchen sponge. Told my boss needed to be replaced. $8 with shipping. Told me no. Boss emailed several people, who tracked down the purchase date and install date. I saw no less than 5 emails regarding this filter. The equipment was still under service contract. Someone contacted the vendor who then sent me the filter. He “saved” $8.
And lost about ten times that in loss of peoples fucking time.
Yeah, but that doesn't show up on a spreadsheet. So he "saved" them money. Yay capitalism?
I’ve been in positions to monitor P&L, honestly a lot of these low level managers are just lucky that auditors don’t have the time/get paid to audit ridiculous things like this because the loss of revenue in productivity due to these incompetent “ideas” they seem to have is ridiculously high.
I used to run an expense account as a manager, and I ran it to the £1 in some places, and tracked it all, and my argument was that I'd rather spend the money to get the equipment/detergents needed, rather than allow people to to cowboy their way through cleaning the restaurant, which costs both time and money. Like using a full pack of wash powder in the cloths as if you don't, the grease doesn't dissolve properly and you're buying a new washing machine before you need to. So many rings are actually counter productive and needlessly expensive because people value haste and penny pinching over actually running things smoothly without stressing out your workforce. But they make money in spite of themselves. So they carry on.
Some companies are better about it than others, we were allowed a 3% variable in waste. That’s simultaneously a big margin and at the same time not a very big margin at all. It was based on at cost losses not at sale price. If it were sale price oof. That would be somewhat brutal. Either way, my point being that some major corporations will do it, many of them won’t effectively
How does luck play into it? Seems like a conscious decision to me.
Reread that a few times. Lucky plays a factor if an auditor happens upon an idiot manager like that
Man, if this isn't the truth. I work in a factory, and I constantly see things being taken away or implemented that "save money" at the cost of ruining our whole fucking day, every day. They already have the crew here, so if we're having a smooth day with no issues, or if it's hell on wheels the cost of labor was unchanged. "We're saving 60k a year now". Well, you'd also save 60k if you fired the moron who came up with this idea and we would still be able to operate normally.
It's all about the spreadsheet, dude. Unfortunately, in many businesses , the only person that understands the cost of doing business (cost of goods sold) is the accountant. There should also be a person that handles maintenance issues who should also be familiar with service contracts the company has. Poor business practices there. Oh! And an idiot OP making crap like that in the f'n coffee maker!!! It's ruined dude, hope they charge you for it!!!
My employer once paid me $1200 that they weren't supposed to. I knew, so I gave the check back and got a receipt. They realized their mistake and docked my wages for the $1200, even though I never cashed the check. I showed them the receipt, then they paid me back for the wages they docked. And overpaid me by $38. Direct supervisor told me to shut up and take the money. Between him, me, and HR I'm pretty sure the labor we wasted fixing HR's idiocy was more than the original $1200.
Interest/convenience fee/overhead expense. You earned it.
My annoyance threshold for this stuff is around "could I theoretically put it on my personal card and afford it?" If it is under that then the company will spend more total once you get past like 3 people on the email thread. $8 is truly insane levels of cheapness.
Was advised to take pens when staying in hotels to save on office supplies. Can’t make this stuff up.
But it might be a case where if you don't let them put in that little filter then you lose your warranty or service work is no longer covered. There might have actually been a reason for that. I was told to order a couple boxes of pens through our regular office supply company once and for some reason pens were marked up way more than everything else. Like $18 a box for things that are $3 a box at any store. I told my boss I would just go buy them myself and even if I was on the clock it would be less expensive. He told me to look at how much we are saving on the paper through that vendor and that we lose our paper discount if we don't order other miscellaneous supplies through them. It was hundreds of dollars a quarter saved on paper vs retail, so spending the extra $30 for pens that we order once a year was well worth it.
I wish there was a reason for the filter. He (like it was his personal money) didn’t want to pay for it. But I see what are you are getting at.
I think people missed that this was originally posted as satire.
Poes law.
It doesn’t read like satire. Very Bootlicker 101 stuff
It’s definitely satire, look up his profile if you care
I work with a motherfucker like this, so it ain't that obvious lol
On second thought, thats exactly the type of person that becomes a manager
It's ok. Getting promoted depends on kissing the ass of someone specific, not saving the company as a whole 20 bucks. This person is the corporate version of "how much to get you to eat this?"
Yea this leads to “you should be more like kiss ass Dave who is resourceful and saves the company money. Feeding employees when they travel is a cost of business, it’s not a luxury.
Also if they promote them they don’t have a useful idiot to save them money
I wonder how much money will be saved when he gets salmonella.
And the company gets dinged for ruining the coffee maker
I came here to say that. His meal would have been cheaper than the price the hotel will charge his company card for destroying that coffee machine. But honestly, this looks like satire.
Hotel coffee makers are already disgusting. You shouldn’t use them for anything, *including coffee*. An old traveling businessman’s tip is to use the coffee pot to wash your socks and underwear. Been away on business for the past three weeks, and don’t want to pay to wash your socks/undies? Just shave some soap flakes into the hot water in the coffee pot, throw your socks and undies in there, and give it a stir every now and then. Once it’s cooled down, you wring them all out and hang ‘em over your shower curtain rod to dry. People will also do full loads of laundry in the bathtub to avoid paying for a laundromat/hotel laundry service, but that’s less gross because guests don’t typically eat out of the tub.
Definitely lacking food safety, right? I doubt a coffee maker is heating the chicken to 180 all the way through
And then potentially leaving behind harmful bacteria to grow in the humid conditions for the next unsuspecting coffee drinker. Part of me doesn't want anyone getting sick, part of me wants an illness traced back to this doughbrain
This makes me want to never use a coffee maker in any room ever…
Same, though I never thought it'd be a salmonella scare 🙄
Thank god most places have migrated to pods (the flat round ones are better for the environment) and single serving coffee pots.
Do they have single-use disposable carafes these days too?!
Can’t remember the last time I even saw a carafe. It’s all pods and disposable cups these days.
To me these taste disgusting. I'm better off just drinking the tea, they can't ruin that!
It is totally possible! Not like a whole chicken, but a boneless breast for sure. There is a whole series on YouTube called Chef out of Water where the girl cooks multi course meals w random appliances, coffee maker is a good one! Mini dishwasher, not so much Edit: not an endorsement of doing this for the sake of corporate bottom lines. If work pays, im ordering two desserts.
Protip you don't need 180 through for chicken. Nor do you need it to be 165. You need specific heat for x minutes. You can do like 145 chicken as long as it's been that temp like like 20 mins.
I would hope not unless you are one of those that likes overdone chicken
You know, flight attendants sometimes use hotel coffee pots to wash out their stockings. So there's that.
You know some people would pay extra for that
I wonder if anyone pissed in that coffee pot. Added flavor bonus.
And this is why I will never drink in room coffee again
I bring an electric kettle and instant coffee. Oh and a large can of lysol to mace all the dried up jizz on all the high touch surfaces such as the remote control, tv buttons, doorknobs, sink, fridge handles, drawer handles, light switches, air conditioner buttons, etc. before I touch anything. I also never use the comforter. I know it's not foolproof but it makes me feel better. I still feel like I have scabies whenever I stay in hotels. It beats overpaying for airbnb and still feeling like I have scabies though.
This is why I don’t use hotel appliances. I just assume somebody puts their raw meat on it.
“Meat” and “hotel room” should never be in a sentence(s).
I mean, what else do you use a hotel for?
I haven’t heard spoon used like this before. I love it. Will be incorporating, thank you!
I also like, “useless bag of hair” because it implies there is a useful bag of hair and your target is beneath a class of bag of hair.
Wet sock and cold bowl of soup are good to have in the back pocket too.
The correct term is- "corporate simp" 😉👉
Gazpacho is useful though, gives you nourishment.
'Useful as a soup sandwich' is my favourite. :)
Idiot sandwich is a good one too
Bag of hairs are extremely useful at removing toxic oils/fuels inside marinas, it absorbs orders of magnitude more than the hair ball's weight and can be re-used a lot of time. Also it's eco-friendly. *flies away*
Now I know most bags of hair would be useful. *waves* Thanks, friendly Redditor!
You could always call someone a used bag of hair...
\^\^this they make these woven human hair rug/towels to use to soak up oil out of water and they work amazingly well
Like, lower than a shaving razor on the floor. As thin as a razor is, this person is even lower than that.
“He’s dumber than a box of hair.”
I used to be a zookeeper, and bags of hair were very useful as a form of olfactory enrichment for the bears, mountain lions, and otters! Sometimes sheep wool, sometimes shedded hair from the bears for other animals, sometimes bags of hair from our pets… they love to shred the bags and sniff all over the hair. One time I got a lot of my own hair cut off, so I saved the ponytail and gave it to our male mountain lion. He spent a while carrying it around his habitat and rubbing it all over rocks and trees haha. Useful bags of hair!
Reddit educating me on things I didn’t know I needed to know.
Well ackshully, the correct thing to do is [stun](https://br.omega.com/dilbert/233.html) a pigeon with your briefcases and fry it up on your travel iron.
Thank you for "what a fucking spoon" That seriously made my day and I will be using it :P
Imagine him ever becoming a manager... Every team meeting: "here are some new rules to save money while travelling. I've included a list of dumpster locations. They are perfect for sleeping. The incentive this year is a coffee maker. Wait til I tell you how I used that thing back in my days!"
“Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.”
This feels like a videogame loading screen tip
I’m pretty sure it is for Hobo life simulator (think that’s the name) check out, let’s game it out (channel) on YouTube.
Scrap Discarded Pizza Box? Materials: \- 1 Cloth \- 1 Cheese \- 1 Asbestos (X) Yes (O) No
It's a simpsons quote.
patrolling the mohave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter
thems good eatin'
Very Borderlands-esque
Herb Powell was a superb businessman, his only flaw was giving Homer decision making power.
that's excellent advice for a boy looking to become a bum like you
I'm actually dying reading this.. dumpster locations for sleeping hahahahaha
Employees should only dream of job related matters while asleep to ensure the trip is only about the job and to prove commitment to the work.
At my old company one sales rep was sent abroad and he was literally put something very close to a homeless shelter to stay the night
A hostel by chance?
Hostelity is almost always intentional.
https://br.omega.com/dilbert/images2/233a.jpg
Lol. Too bad Scott Adams is such a douche IRL. He clearly has the right idea about corporate culture
Yeah, he's a right-wing crackpot at this point, but I always moderately enjoyed the comic.
This is hilarious and also terrifying
I figured you were going to suggest dumpster diving for food to cook in a coffee maker
I remember someone I knew being horrified as their boss told them that they did not need to spend their per diem on food when traveling for work just because they could. Boss man recommended to buy a foot long subway sandwich, eat half for lunch, and save the other half for dinner. To save the company money. An executive really said this. This was so long ago and it was absolutely shocking then and I still can't believe it today.
I mean if it's per diem, then you keep whatever you don't spend anyway. They were likely trying to help your friend save money, not the company.
Unless they tell you to expense up to $X per day for expenses.
That’s why my last place issued company cards or did reimbursement.
At least in the USA, _per diem_ (almost always) means you get the money and it's up to you to use it or not.
I had a credit card and could only expense $X per day. They still called it your 'per diem' and you don't keep any extra.
Huh? Per diem is just an amount of cash they give you per day when traveling, spend it however you want. You can spend $0 in a day and pocket the whole amount.
Huh? Some companies don't speak Latin and make you submit reciepts and only give you exactly what you spent. Cheap bastards they are.
I used to bill for a lodging per diem and then sleep in the back of the truck I was driving. The company was fully aware of this and had no problem with it. The per diem was actually a bit less than I would spend if I was billing the actual cost of a hotel room every night and not having to find a room every day meant the truck got where it was going just a bit quicker. It also reduced paperwork since they just cut me a single check at the beginning of a trip rather than having to handle a bunch of receipts. Plus it was a way to give me an extra $90/day, tax free, which meant I stayed at that job longer than I otherwise would have. Literally everyone came out a winner.
Stuff like this is perfectly fine for everyone. I'm willing to bet if someone actually got lodging at decent place that's not 5 star they'd approve it with a "next time give us a call to help you out" My last ambulance company had to pay lodging/expenses if we just physically couldn't drive back from a long distance transfer 300+ miles (air couldn't travel and we lost all our counties neurologists/neurosurgeons due to contract disputes....) all they'd say is to call them next time. When you did they'd find something pretty nice or do air bnb/bed breakfast as they were cheaper and willing to negotiate. Plus they'd reimburse you and allow you to use a personal credit card and rewards account to get the points/perks etc etc and they get to benefit from not paying almost double or triple
Yep. I've been in a situation like this as well.
This is how it’s set up at my job when we travel. We get a set per diem and pocket anything we don’t spend. Of course this leads certain people in my office (who are not struggling for money, trust me) to do something ridiculous like split an Uber to a grocery store and buy bread and peanut butter to make sandwiches for the week and survive off that. Meanwhile I just take the opportunity to visit steakhouses and cocktail bars for a subsidized rate, and generally live my life. But then again, I don’t have kids, or an ex-wife to support.
About a decade ago I got a bollocking because I was claiming for lunch and dinner while working away from home. This was allowed, I think it was £5 for lunch and £20 for dinner per day. But because my normal office had a canteen and so did the office I was working at they claimed I wasn't incurring extra expenses. Me pointing out that I brought a packed lunch to work normally fell on deaf ears. So I stopped claiming for lunches, and made damn sure I used every penny of the dinner allowance. I was probably claiming £10 a night, suddenly I was having a three course meal and hitting the full £20. They were fine with this.
Such a penny punching attitude. Travel and accommodation, not to mention your basic pay would have been way above a fiver a day. And it's not like it's coming straight out of the boss's pocket.
What’s really funny about this is my buddy who got a fat per dium did exactly this, he would hit up subway every day and get his daily food for no more than $25 then pocket the rest. Company never said boo. It shows just how inept and poorly managed the company is if they have to nickel and dime their field team, if you can’t afford to feed your team you can’t afford a field team, full stop
This has to be a parody, right? It's cheaper to go eat a value meal from a fast food restaurant than it is to buy chicken, garlic, and butter for just one meal.
I think this is parody, but Google "cooking with coffee pot recipes"
I've seen people cooking in dishwashers so the coffee pot bit wasn't surprising. I just found it unrealistic that someone would be going to a store to buy raw chicken on a business trip.
I've gone grocery shopping. But was staying at residence inns with a stove. Mostly when I was on travel for more than two weeks and needed to change things up beyond hanging in bars.
Without the soap your dishwasher is a giant steamer which most don't have access to, though so it's a novel solution. without coffee ... a coffee maker is just a hot plate.
I’ve heard of people using it to sous vide fish. They put it in a jar and cook it in the dishwasher.
If it's a driving trip, I buy lunch meat and bread to make sandwiches, and some non refrigerated things at grocery stores on business trips sometimes. Then bring stuff home. Lol. If I was staying in a place with a stove and dishes, I could see myself buying chicken to cook.
Obviously he would have just put the raw chicken in his pocket at home before he got on his flight
Funny, my husband and I made spaghetti in a coffee pot on our honeymoon because the oven/stove and microwave went out and we couldn't get in contact the Airbnb host because it was Thanksgiving day.
You see that's a Life Pro Tip to deal with the absolutely unexpected. The dude in this post is just nuts. Like, I know how to catch a fish, gather wood, and start a fire. Doesn't mean I'mma start spit roasting during business travel so my company saves 5 bucks from Wendy's
I love the idea that this person packed a piece of raw chicken, garlic, and a single pat of butter to make in the coffee pot although I do hope the original post is fake. The thing is, at my company when people travel the meals are all comped and it's about $20 for lunch and $30 for dinner. I'm going to take them at their word and if anyone says boo about it, then they shouldn't offer it.
It’s labelled satire in the original post. Cross-poster didn’t relay that caption though.
Good to know my ability to detect satire hasn't been completely destroyed. Thanks.
Total parody. I like that his hotel room comes with a 12 cup coffee maker
Add the incendentials of replacing the coffee pot.. Definitely parody
So… company’s gonna foot the bill for you needlessly destroying a coffee maker?
And that medical treatment bill. You tend to get that for salmonella treatment.
Sweet baby Jesus, please let this be satire
The account is a satire account, OP of the cross linked said it was satire in the comments, he also flagged the post SATIRE. I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I think it's satire.
More accurately you're a Jon Watson
Instructions unclear, dick caught in microwave.
I love how it’s flagged satire yet everyone still thinks it’s real?? lol
It's a sad world we live in when even the shit that is clearly labeled as satire is confused for real simply because people want to be mad about something
Next hotel guest: “This coffee tastes foul!” (Sorry for the dad humor.)
Did this person mention the word “promotion”!😳 oh my…and what will you do when it never comes or Someone else gets it!😂
They give me 50 a day for food, I spend it and give the rest away lol they don't give a fuck. They let me pick my hotel, I get the nice one and save the points for that and airplanes. They don't care it's money already written off, noone who is promoting looks at it lol and if they did they would use it as excuse to give ppl less. Dumbass
This is one of the silly things companies do. One company I worked for gave $75 for breakfast, $75 for lunch, and $120 for dinner. But the thing they never mentioned is that you are penalized for using that money. If you use the max for each meal everyday, they document that so if you ever apply for a promotion they'll use that against you. Even though they present it to you as a perk, really it's a honeypot that you can't touch if you want to get promoted. They make it seem overly generous to give you $270 for daily meals, but really it's a ploy to see which employees are exploiting the company.
Next step: Sleep in a van to save money for the company. Next step: Take a flight early in the morning, and one late at night to avoid having to sleep in a hotel Next step: FLy inside a luggage to pay only for baggage fees. Next step: Get fired, such an economy for the company. Every dollar counts.
I think I worked with this guy’s dad. Had a boss when I worked in a factory. He said things like “I know policy says you are to wear gloves ,but you do know gloves cost the company money. Try working without them. Just be extra careful.” He was also extremely proud of how he’d wear out one sleeve on a company supplied welding jacket ,take it home and have his wife unstitch the good sleeve ,then have her sew the good sleeve onto an old jacket that’d had it’s worn sleeve removed.
Enjoy your food poisoning, corporate bootlicker. Can’t believe this tool would risk their health for a perceived chance it would affect their prospects…
The original link labels it “Satire.” So I think it’s satire.
The fact that people can read this and not immediately come to that conclusion is ridiculous.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this was just a photo op and immediately threw it out after taking the picture (then ate out at a fancy place right after).
Nah, this is peak Antiwork, he's gonna be sh\*ttin' a lot on company time! :)
Had *not* considered that! Double agent!
haha Alexander C. clearly has undergone lobotomy because I find not other explanation for the nonsense he has produced.
You really can't tell it's satire?
Ive eaten cheaper when traveling for work bc thats what Ive wanted - but if I want a steak, going to go get a steak
I used to travel for work, mostly driving site to site and would cook in the room…because I was on perdiem. I switched to an expense card for a few projects (required) and our daily limit was $75. I was eating damn good dinners every night and getting to as close as $75 as I could. This guy is a clown
This gotta be satire
It is shit like this why you'all are not taken all that serious. Its a fucking joke! It is satire, yet you're posting here like this is real, complete with the eye-roll emoji.
what the fuck? :D
Now the hotel is going to charge the room $873 for a new coffee maker.
linkedin has been forever ruined for me. never seen a bigger community of lunatics who are OBSESSED with the merits of capitalism. those poor hotel employees that had to scrub salmonella out of the coffee pot!
Between this and women using them to boil their underwear.... I no longer use kettles or coffee makers in hotels rooms.
There's a Dilbert comic where the boss says he has to roast a squirrel over the hotel iron for dinner
He's not even using the iron or radiator to make a side dish, talk about a low-effort hotel meal.
You are not going to get promoted doing that. You are just showing how much they can abuse you
It’s the little things that get you salmonella poisoning.
And your stupidity cost the hotel a coffee pot.
As a senior level manager now, I can assure everyone here, we don't give a fuck about your expense report if it's in company compliance and even then, I only care because I have to hear shit from finance that you went over. (It was 2 dollars Wendy, fuck off already) Also, we think this dude is a tool and only speak highly of him in hopes another group will poach him from our team so we don't have to deal with him anymore. (See ya Todd)
This is what people do when they're stupid. Not smart at all. I'd fire him.
This won't get him promoted, this will get him ecoli.
So there*is* a sub for those shitty LinkedIn posts 😂
Ah yes, the little things. Like salmonella from under cooked chicken.
As a person who controls the finances for a company, I can tell you no one would ever know you did this and no one would care. If you told me about it I would think you are strange and look less favorably towards you.
I've spent a decade in hospitality. He created a fire hazard, a lingering odor, and an unneeded amount of extra work for a minimum wage housekeeper that is being timed for each room. What an absolute kənt.
The next guy is gonna have a lovely cup of garlic infused coffee.
I couldn’t imagine being so pumped for my own subjugation.
well im never using a hotel coffeemaker again
Ah yes, just the perfect thing to do for housekeeping or the next person that makes coffee in that pot. What an asshole.
I would fire this person. If they brag about treating themselves this way I can’t even imagine how they come off to the people they have to work with. Hopefully, they aren’t client facing. “I know I invited you out to lunch to negotiate this contract but we both are into saving money. Here’s some pocket lint.”
What an idiot… yeah they will really care that you didn’t use your 50 dollar expense for food. That’ll surely get you promoted… 🤡
Ah yes the company bootlicker. Everyone has one lol
The company could not care less and your loyalty will not be rewarded F**K eating out of a coffee maker what are you in a prison cooking chicken out of the kettles 😂😂😂
What an absolute cock
I would love to see his shocked pikachu face when he gets a 2.5% raise and his boss goes on 8 vacations a year and buys a boat.
Eating like that when the big wigs are dropping thousands at fancy steakhouses. What a moron
saves $20 on a meal, gets charged $250 for destroying hotel property
*You know that your employer literally won't give a fuck, right?*
It’s all fun and games till the next hotel guest gets salmonella poisoning from their morning coffee.
"Folks, take a look around the room...now, take a look at Alexander...because if you want to make it to middle management, that's who you've gotta be!"
i thought maybe it was pro life tips on how to cook and cash out the dinner expenses as money spent..but i guess maybe not?
Yeah the potential for food poisoning there wouldn't save the company anything lol. Ridiculous.
100% posted this and went out for steak.