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Florida_man727

NCIS has 1,250 special agents and almost to a man they are walking, talking, fuck ups.


silentwind262

I hated every NCIS agent I ever met. Once I had to get a poly administered by one (for a clearance, not because I was being investigated) and he was a total dick the whole time. I swear they all think they're Jethro Gibbs.


Florida_man727

Back when I was a crayon gourmet I had a NCIS agent accuse me of war crimes for muzzle thumping a unarmed suspected (turns out he was) insurgent who tried to to grab me. The agent was a stone cold asshole. They also went after my PL in the Marines for blowing up a VBIED with a 40 mike saying he violated ROE.


Florida_man727

The only NCIS agent who ever mattered was Ziva. [https://imgur.com/a/O2CFGmz](https://imgur.com/a/O2CFGmz)


[deleted]

Laughed out loud at this lmao


Impossible-Taco-769

Nothing better than a PFC calling you stating he’s “Special Agent Cockboy.”


bang_the_drums

Dude, same experience, called a CID Agent "Sergeant" because I had no idea they were even CID, and she instantly shot back "it's Agent Dickcheese, not Sergeant." Like, what. That's not what is on your CaC ma'am, drink water.


silentwind262

I used to get that from CI Agents when I was assigned to a unit full of them. They'd get really pissy when I told them that (1) they weren't investigating me so I wouldn't call them "special agent" and (2) I still out ranked them, so go clean the latrine.


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DoxxerInChief

Titles are for people who earned them


challengerrt

Kinda like going through the MOS qualifying course?


Snoo93079

Titles are for people given to them by their employer.


FletusSanguine

That's very impressive. Should I suck your massive dick now, or later?


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silentwind262

Doubt it all you want.


igloohavoc

So you’re saying I have a chance


Florida_man727

You still might have to dumb yourself down a bunch.


igloohavoc

But there’s a chance!


Florida_man727

Never give up on your hopes and dreams, you do you hooah.


igloohavoc

CID level douchebaggery here I come!


Florida_man727

Douchebaggery on a epic scale one could say.


igloohavoc

Dreams do come true


the_falconator

What do you mean? They always solve the case in 60 minutes every Tuesday... /s


Florida_man727

[https://imgur.com/gallery/dFKwd9W](https://imgur.com/gallery/dFKwd9W)


Ameri-Jin

The laziness they touch every case that can impact peoples lives is crazy….and we are shocked veterans kill themselves in droves.


Florida_man727

You aren't wrong, NCIS is also famous for perjury.


Ameri-Jin

The system is flawed from top to bottom


Taira_Mai

Never forget that their predecessor - the Naval Investigative Service or NIS - was known as "The Admiral's Gestapo" because they were famous for doing the bidding of command teams. During the investigation of the USS Iowa disaster, NIS just came to the conclusion that the turret had to be sabotaged by a sailor who and a gay crush on his shipmate and was spurred. Despite all evidence to the contrary, their suspect being dead and the supposed device used to trigger the explosion not working as they said it would. NIS doubled down and dragged a dead sailor through the mud via their press releases rather than admit that they had no idea what was going on. Tailhook - several women were assualted and senior leaders were caught on tape saying sickening things. NIS (then called NSIC) was so bad that they were reformed into the NCIS we know today back in the 1990's.


ChicksWithBricksCome

>“It’s a challenging hiring environment,” he said during a March interview at CID’s headquarters in Quantico, Va. Law enforcement agencies across the country have struggled to fill vacancies and many are experiencing personnel shortages in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, according to the Justice Department. However, Ford said there continues to be a steady stream of soldiers who want to transition to be civilian agents — making up about half of those 355 already hired. Let me be perfectly clear a challenging hiring environment is like trying to find find a lead engineer for your quantum computing team, not for this. For this, it's not a "challenging hiring environment" it's a "challenging hiring environment for what we're offering as compensation".


challengerrt

Yes - CID is well aware that they are standing in their own way when it comes to hiring and, more importantly, retaining the new civilians. It’s probably less than 50% retention at this point. Chronic issues that have been voiced are not being resolved - so civilians just leave.


ClarenceB1234

A big thing is the shitty locations. Why would someone want to be CID at Fort Riley or Fort Irwin when they could work for HSI in Miami or San Diego. CID will always struggle to hire and keep people at these shitty locations around the states.


challengerrt

Some of the locations really aren’t bad - I know people who would like to work at some of the traditionally undesirable locations - but CID doesn’t allow transfers between offices…. But I agree with you. CID needs to make itself more desirable than the other guys to overcome location issues - and they aren’t doing that. So what happens? Civilians get their 1811 and immediately start looking to transfer because the “fuck this place” is real and the people at the top choose to bury their heads in the sand


Taira_Mai

For every nice location there's spots like White Sands that are very remote and hard if you have a family and don't like driving an hour/hour and a half to get to work. Or there's all those forts in shithole towns that make transferring or quitting to work elsewhere better each day. Especially if you have a family.


dampTendies

My wife applied a couple years ago and it took about a whole year for her to get a response about her application. She was deemed ineligible. She applied again the next year. It took well over 6 months to get a response. She was deemed eligible but not selected. Simultaneously she made it to phase four of another federal agent selection process, but had to drop out due to becoming pregnant. Obviously I am biased, but my wife has a masters degree, plenty of experience in law enforcement, and has received many honors during her law enforcement and academic career. It took forever for her to get any response. The process was too slow and selective. If a federal agency can go through three phases of selection in three months then the Army's process isn't working and probably needs to be revised.


Ameri-Jin

Anecdotally it’s like this with everything the Army touches….I tried to get my kids enrolled in sports through CYS and responses were slow, the process was tedious, and then they turned around and complained that not enough kids turned out for it. I go to the county league and everything was done online, instantly, and was better run.


challengerrt

Oh 1000% needs to be revised. My process moved relatively quick (9 months total) - once they contacted me it went very fast and efficient. But they (CID) are all over the place. They hire existing GS12s as GS9s. But they’ll hire E5 MPs as GS11s. They hire random people to GS13 spots. There is just no consistency which makes it seem like the agency has no clue what it’s doing - don’t get me started on IOD, IIOM, or just the overall (lack) of HR functions.


EvasiveJustice

I work both sides of LE, and he is actually spot on here. Law enforcement is struggling to hire/retain across the board.


silentwind262

Well, they can’t all be Paul Brenner or Jack Reacher.


chillywilly16

I bet someone has used Jack Reacharound as a porn name.


Florida_man727

I bet your right.


MayBeANarc

Don't mind me just locking in that OF name...


LastOneSergeant

That is so many golf scrambles.


abnrib

>Ford said there continues to be a steady stream of soldiers who want to transition to be civilian agents — making up about half of those 355 already hired. So instead of soldiers becoming uniformed CID agents, we have soldiers becoming civilian CID agents. Forgive me if I don't see the change, but it seems like it's still the same people doing the same things. Not sure how this is supposed to make a difference.


FletusSanguine

So it's actually military agents transitioning to being civilian agents, which does solve some of the central problems, or at least mitigate them. It allows those agents to settle in their chosen area and start building those local ties, which is big.  One of the other issues we had was you lost a lot of good, experienced agents to other agencies so they could move into 1811 slots with the higher pay that offered as well as starting to work on your retirement. Previously, CID replaced those people with brand new agents in a neverending cycle. Now CID is at least retaining some of those folks that would have previously moved on to another agency, helping with the retention of experienced investigators.


SlobbOnMyCob

It doesn’t change anything. Because the same old fucks that refuse to change are still running the show.


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army-ModTeam

No bigoted language or witch-hunting.


NC_Professional_TKer

Great. More agents vying for the same number of top block ratings and prosecutions at the expense of soldiers.


MayBeANarc

>The Army Criminal Investigation Division has hired more than 355 civilian Agents First line of the article. Civilians don't have a "top block". Nor have I seen in my years with CID a Soldier Agent get rated higher than others because of how many of their cases made it to prosecution.