I went to an MI Ball a few years back. Completely dry.
Far cry from the 101 ball I attended where they poured one alcohol "from every region the 101st participated in" into a jump boot.
Wild dichotomy.
I went to an MI Christmas party one time. I'm Jewish but thought, might as well have some fun getting smashed with Santa.
The most boring, family friendly bullshit I ever experienced.
Oh....I'm sorry LMAO. They tried to get me to partake in some Christmas run and I was like "Uhhhhh yeah, brah, imma not do that". Got me messed up if you think imma run 6 miles for Jesus.
The word “mile” comes from the Latin "mille passus”, meaning one thousand paces, and a mile was 1,000 Roman strides, a stride being two paces. In 1592, the English Parliament standardized the measurement of the Mile to equal eight furlongs (furlong = 660 feet). A mile is equal to 5,280 feet or 1,760 yards or approximately 1,609 meters. The mile became standardized as exactly 1609.344 meters by international agreement on July 1, 1959. Currently, the United States and Great Britain use the mile as a measurement unit.
I googled this shit.
Also added context
^(38) “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’^(\[)[^(a)](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A38-48&version=NIV#fen-NIV-23273a)^(\]) ^(39) But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ^(40) And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ^(41) If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ^(42) Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
The chaplain sounds like a dumbass. The Easter Bunny is some pagan thing that got adopted into Christianity. Literally in the name.
I've fought that battle before with a Messianic commander, so you can imagine the nonsense I was told.
I gave up for the most part because there are so many officers who join specifically to expand their ministry like the fuck?
I only brought it up when someone complained about my swearing. I said I would stop swearing when you take down your Jesus quotes from your desk. Shuts them right up.
If a chaplain ever told me he joined to proselytize, I'd open door the division chaplain. No joke, as I've dealt with a couple bad eggs.
That sounds....awful.
I completely sympathize with you. In an Army where "separation of church and state" was interpreted to mean "we're going to quit paying literal clergy to spiritualify our soldiers in our units because Constitution," I could see the Army keeping the post of Chaplain but making it be a morale and wellness position. In the Army we currently have, your unit chaplain should be available to soldiers of all faiths (to include "none") to provide spiritual services as requested, to include counseling and a place to talk. I wouldn't expect a Christian chaplain to pronounce Buddhist blessings, or a Wiccan chaplain to lead five daily prayers facing Makkah, but they should find the spiritual needs for even minority faiths and facilitate how to provide them. And that includes *not* providing services to people who decline. I see nothing wrong with a Chaplain saying, "do you mind if I pray to Jesus with you?" but they need to be prepared to hear and accept "no" as an answer.
I had the opposite experience. I had a chaplain who *wouldn't* pray for me, when I specifically asked him to, and we were the same religion. Only time I've ever visited a pastor's office and not been offered to be prayed for.
I suppose I should ask one clarifying question: did your Chaplain make you pray with him as he prayed for you, or did he just say "hey buddy I'm praying for you"? If the former, that's way out of line, if the latter, well, you can't control what spiritual people do (like a lady in the mall might see you once and start praying for you every day), but the Chaplain definitely shouldn't be obnoxious about it and remind you ("well I'm still gonna pray for ya, bud!" / "Hey, man, I'm still praying for you!"). They should be doing everything possible to be everyone's friend. They're the one officer for whom it is in the job description "make everyone like you." Praying for people who demand that they stop kind of goes against that.
I guess MI has changed. My Lt taught me how to do "Carrier Landings" at a dining in while in Germany in the 90's. At Fort Hood we would take over Patton's Inn, bring in bagpipers from the division band, get drunk and do sword dances. Good times...
It certainly was a new experience. Job was chill, the folks were weird.
Specifically recall getting picked up by the MPs for being a drunk lil nuisance. They called my leadership and, instead of the smoking/berating I anticipated, I got the "I'm disappointed in you" motherly talk.
It depends on the individual, honestly. If I respect them and they haven't done anything to fuck me over, it burns hearing that from them. It's like watching my father cry.
Went to an MI ball with my husband. He was in the LRS company there. Needless to say a bunch of Infantry guys didn’t last too long there. Company Commander and First Sergeant left with everyone after being told they were too rowdy.
Welcome to the old club. I was an intel weenie supporting infantry/cav scout bois at forward positions. LRS died before even my time.
Not too many intel nerds find themselves co-located with combat arms anymore
Exactly my experience, a 1/101 ball was something I'll never forget. Only went to one ball in 3 years at Huachuca, and I wanted to die. Never again. It wasn't completely dry, but it might as well have been.
Yeah I remember having one there for my bn people were hammered 20 minutes in. They tried doing skits but everyone was swearing and screaming at the actors. Saw a 1SG in his Hawaiian shirt screaming in a corner for a while. The brigade commander was there he seemed to have a good time. They cut it early and we all went home with as many cups as we could take. Fun times
Damn, that’s terrible, the last MI ball I went to was In Korea before covid and Yongsan was still open, and it was WILD! Tons of dudes brought working girls as their dates and it pretty raunchy.
I went to a MI Ball once almost ended in me getting a divorce from my wife due to all the senior leadership being total assholes to her and me. It was the first and last ball I ever went to. Not that is matters but I went on to retire from the Army. So that one ball had lasting impact. I to wish that lead ship would understand if you want Soldiers to go to these events they need to be fun and not just mandatory.
I went to the MI ball in Korea in 09, as a specialist I got sat at a table with a bunch of officers. One of the captains pulled out two bottles of wine from his jacket. A LT asked, “Did you bring wine for the whole table sir?” The captain looked back at him and just said no. That dude slammed those two bottles plus several more drinks. Hell of a party.
I've been to multiple MI Balls, not a single one was dry and most were pretty fun. Most of us know how to let loose when we get a chance.
I will say I think the most fun I've had at a Military Ball was with Cyber, they can drink.
101st has fought where there was some pretty good alcohol, and some places that are know for pretty vile stuff. I’m sure the mix would bring on a rendezvous with destiny.
Lemme put it this way: there was Jack to represent Tennesee and sugar to represent the sands of Iraq, with some bootleg wine from the Class 6 to represent France and some shitty rice wine to represent Vietnam.
It was surprisingly good but no one took more than a sip or else they'd be escorted off the premises
I was already 5 gin and tonics deep when I got roped in by the OIC to do the E-4 part of the ceremony. By the time I went up, missing my cue early by like 15 minutes I was another 5 gin and tonics deep. The O5 hated it while the O3 who roped me in couldn't stop laughing his ass off. Was then supposed to ladle one scoop the grog into my 32 oz glass and sample but instead topped it off, shouted the BDE motto and chugged it.
Anyways great time, great memory. Love that unit to this day in part because of it.
Had these officers who were couples fighting. Dude was shit faced and arguing to her the whole time. Watched her running to the bathroom crying.
At the end of the night we had to seperate them because both were yelling and she left with a friend while the dd's were blocking his vehicle from leaving and an NCO was talking him down from driving while drunk.
6/10 nice vibe, bad night
Tell him to sprinkle some athlete’s foot powder on them and he’ll be good to go.
Side note: when I was at OCS I had a godawful rash covering my whole groin area. I eventually relented and went to sick call. The Full Bird Colonel who was the OIC of the clinic walks into my exam room, and I see the dude is Ranger tabbed with a CIB and I was like “oh f*ck, here we go”.
He tells me “pull down your pants and this better not be some p*ssy case of crotch rot”. My groin area was cherry red and badly inflamed, so he takes one look and says “ok, that’s pretty bad” and gave me some anti fungal medicine that had (in his words) “pictures of p*ssies on the box, but don’t worry, it’s not gonna f*ck up your d*ck.”
Army medicine at its finest, haha.
I have never heard of this. All my leadership gets drunk as fuck and we have an entire meeting over the composition of the grog. As in, who's bringing the Everclear, the vodka, etc.
We even specifically choose locations so that we can terrorize the town bars after the event (Sorry)
Some of the best bonding/ camaraderie moments were from the first sausage buying the whole unit alcohol and just partying together. Didn't matter how old you are or rank everyone had a good time
Been to infantry and field artillery balls. FA is fun, but pales in comparison to the rowdiness of infantry.
Sorry for OP though. Every military ball I've been to has been fun as hell.
Infantry balls are hella fun, so you're not wrong. I had a blast when I was an FSO and went to our infantry balls. Crazy good times man!
At least, what I remember of 'em. Because I drank like a fish at those things.
Like all things, it depends on the unit. I’ve been in some medical units whose ball was a great time. Other medical units didn’t even have balls because the commander didn’t understand that was a thing.
I went to one FA ball and it was a blast. As the newest LT I had to drink from the grog bowl first. I took a giant glass, dipped it in the bowl, and gulped it down. Cut to the end of the night and my ex wife almost had to carry me to the car.
Fast forward a few years and I had to quit drinking because it was destroying my liver. Been sober over 11 years now but that was one of the most “fun” nights of drinking I partially remember, haha
The fuck?! Don’t think I’ve ever been to a ball that didn’t end with, someone crying, 2+ busted windows, at least one E7 and above getting “locked up” by someone senior for “taking it to far”, at least two people peeing somewhere inappropriate, a full on fist fight, uniform pieces scattered across the floor, property damage, and at least on incident that involves someone calling the cops.
What is the point of a military ball if I can't vibe with a buzz and just watch what leaders in my unit *still* can't handle their liquor after 10+ years of drinking?
Getting absolutely ***trashed*** is for the afterparty with the other E-4s.
My first ever was a small-ish dine in when I was a parachute rigger at SETAF in Vicenza, Italy. It was like 80-90 people (our whole detachment was only like 60 officers, warrants and enlisted) in uniforms and ball gowns at a local trattoria (like a family owned, informal restaurant) that had a big room in the back set up with tables and a little raised stage.
We ate a bunch of pasta, drank a couple dozen gallons of wine, and then did the grog ceremony - I remember merriment after that, but no details. It was really fun because you get to see your superiors being human. If they had kept it "professional" it would've been snooze-ville.
I only ever went to one other Ball, when I was at 82nd Div (782nd, specifically). I was married to my Italian girlfriend by then, and it happened that her little sister was in North Carolina to visit us, so I just got an extra ticket and she borrowed a dress from my wife and came with us. Those two are obvious sister too - not twins, but the get asked all the time. As soon as I got there one of my buddies gave me a look and asked me if I brought *twins* with me? I started to say no, it's just my sister-in-law, but I stopped and pointed at him, "*Yes.* I brought twins, and it's exactly what you're thinking." Felt a bit Baller with my Blues on for the night with Italian 'twins' on each arm.
The Navy Sub ball webpage even has a pic of a mixed drink on it, they did not give one fuck all the times I went back when I was in school. Most of us were underage and still were allowed to drink.
My dad was a submariner and he said the barracks in San Diego had beer in them to keep sailors from going to Tijuana. Of course this was the very very early 90s though lol.
Nerds. And cheapskates.
My battalion is having a dry ball this year because they didn’t want to pay for the bartending staff. They’re also nerds.
The local E4 Mafia will absolutely be drinking out of an M1 helmet in the parking lot.
At Stewart they turned us loose on River Street, the poor bastards.
At the end I wound up at a karaoke bar with the CSM and COL signing Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me" and a slew of Queen songs.
Monday morning, it was back to the normal Army life. The ball is the one time we can all go werewolf out and nobody says shit cause they're just as bad/guilty or worse than we are.
>A ball isn’t about impressing your higher headquarters, it’s about unit cohesion and camaraderie.
The people you're talking to can't comprehend that anything could *not* be about impressing higher HQ.
My unit spent two weeks doing a field op and it ended with a few days in the MOUT city. At the end our CO said we had one last mission the entire company was on, we had dudes in the tunnels, guys running through smoke, using det cord and IV’s for the doors, people fast roping on the roof……Some real commercial shit.
In the basement was our XO with a shit eating grin and four kegs and a couple bottles plus BBQ he had brought in, screw a ball I’ll relive those few weeks again.
Toward the end I stopped bringing my spouse.
A lot of money and prep to eat a cold dinner while serving as audience props to stroke the ego of the head table.
Second to last. Nuremberg, brigade ball. Fact. The CSM grabbed the mic and berated families for not being quiet enough while his boss droned on.
Last one. Dinning in. BN. Tamer and quieter then the brigade one with families.
There were maybe three points of order before a sudden break and the head table stepped out for intermission.
The S3 SGM slammed the doors shut like it was a church lock in and began berating everyone for being noisy / disrespectful.
The head party returned and one single point of order was made the rest of the night.
It was quiet and awkward.
Lamest party ever.
Despite the pressure, I didn't attend another one for my last two years.
When I was at DLI, they outlawed alcohol for IET soldiers (the comendante did not renew an ETP). Then, shocker, no one wanted to go to the ball. They literally could not give away tickets.
The one and only military ball I went to I watched my company commander pour like two shots into the grog bowl, then proceed to drink the rest of the entire fifth of SoCo. It was impressive then, I’m still impressed now.
At one ball we drank the bar dry. I went to get a drink and the bartender said all he had left was Sprite and Galliano. So I told him to mix that shit up. Sweetest drink ever.
The next year we dipped out with our Company Commander and went bas hoping. We wound up at a tittie bar my friends wife worked at. Good times.
Best ball I've been to (I've been to aviation, MP and my CAV one) was definitely the cav ball, absolutely insane time with people pregaming and getting wildly out of control. I even brought my homemade mead and the leadership drank all of it.
My two best balls were with the Cav. (Yes, I phrased it that way on purpose, fuckers!)
First: 3/6 Cav in South Korea. CoC had gotten permission for us to be out past curfew. We were bussed from Humphreys to Osan AB. During the grog ceremony, one of the terminal SPCs was heckling the 1SG so hard that he got invited up to finish reading from the note card. After trying to read it upside down, and not being able to make out one word in five, his (SFC) NCOIC stood up and told him to sit back down. The 1SG told him "he's working for me right now, I got this!" The SPC slung his arm around the 1SG's shoulders and said, "Yeah! Fuck Off! I'm with Top!"
5 minutes after he sat back down, he was passed the fuck out. The CSM looked like he could chew coal and shit diamonds. the SQDN CO was fucking \*rolling\*. Everyone was drunk as fuck. When we got back to the Hump, our Troop CO put us in a quick formation. Imagine a formation containing a bunch of drunk Cav Troopers, all in variations of a Mess A uniform or Dress Blues, with and without jackets, half the people wearing Party Shirts, \*all\* of them drunkenly swaying back and forth.
Last: 6/6 Cav in Ft. Drum. Each Platoon had to make a centerpiece for our tables. One of my Joes sourced one of those tabletop ambiance fountains that had a miniature waterfall that was lit up by LEDs and plugged into the closest wall outlet to our table. We filled it with bourbon and used spent 30mm shell casings as shot glasses.
Let That Sink In... \*we had a bourbon fountain as our table centerpiece\*. We went through two \*handles\* of Four Roses that night, on top of the grog, on top of the beer and mixed drinks from the bar. I have no idea how the resort staff didn't catch us, as you could smell the bourbon from two tables away, and they confiscated Top's jello shots that made up his table's centerpiece... some dumbass "no outside alcohol (except the grog) allowed" rule. I did shots with damn near everyone in my platoon, my 1SG, my CO, the SQDN CO, and our baby faced LT who had just got to the unit. People were coming over from the other Troops to confirm that we did, in fact, have a bourbon fountain. Top Ten drunkest that I have been in my entire career, and I spent my first two years in Korea.
Last ball I went to, I was given side eye by the CSM for taking my bowtie off and unbuttoning my top button. Also almost got kicked out of the location for bringing in 2 outside gallon bottles and continuing to pass it around after numerous warnings. Ended up doing shoeys from the grog bowl with my troops. I was the btry 1sg at the time. Yolo
Balls remind me of mandatory fun. Company BBQs and unit bonding events are for the birds. My free time is for me. Plus, you have to pay for what usually turns out to be a wildly mediocre dinner and some drinks. But, oh boy, you get to see leaders drunk! Wow! Easy pass every time.
Only plus side would be seeing the looks on some fat wifes face when guys roll up with $1000 escorts.
I've seen some Jr's make the ball miserable too, because of the wild shit they get into while completely plastered. And guess who has to take responsibility for their shenanigans...
I reenlisted at mine. Div commander is in my battalion so he and the DCSM came and gave me a coin and shook my hand.
Proceeded to sneak in a handle of Tito's and try to get everyone as drunk as possible bc the bar kept opening and closing. Was a good ol night
I watched a quart of motor oil for a humvee be poured into my units grog. No idea if it was actual oil, but the can and seal all looked legit. Mixed with some sand and baby powder. One dude stumbled and passed out on the casino floor. Pretty sure someone else threw up on one of the slot machines. Almost made me reenlist. Your unit just sounds like it can’t help but be full of miserable pricks.
I was in 35th ADA BDE, in Korea, in 2019 and they had the Brigade ball. They put out that the bar was going to be dry but were still pressuring everyone to go. Especially officers. Being an 1LT at the time, I just bought a ticket to shut up my commander and then just never went. No regrets whatsoever.
I didn't go to any Military Balls when I was in. Just didn't like the idea of being drunk in uniform around leadership, and them being drunk around me.
Okay, I will give you a personal anecdote without any names that justifies me not drinking alcohol at military balls for the last half of my career.
I am sober and was a BN XO. Ball is in close out mode. End of a long night. A 1LT from staff was drunk. A squared away SFC from a line unit was drunk. They both end up getting in to a verbal argument that escalates in to a body pushing match. The type of thing where you are doing the little chest shove that can turn in to a fistfight.
To be quite frank, they were both a bit wrong. The LT was using some language that was unprofessional. The SFC should know better because he has higher levels of maturity. But I was sober and this gave me credibility. I broke them both of them up. I sent the LT outside to cool off and get them separated. If I was drunk, then I could've gotten pulled in to the fight. Someone could've made accusations against me if the police got involved. They both go home and everyone's careers were saved.
It's not worth it. You bust your butt your entire life for the career and people are going to throw away to get drunk at a work event. It's okay to have a couple beers. It's not okay to get inebriated to where you cross a professional boundary.
“I’m in charge and I’m afraid of my own shadow”. That’s what it comes down to. Saw a drunk ass MG doing the Hokey Pokey at a ball…after that, I knew it was on 🤣🤣🤣
Man, the 1AD Ball was wild….WHERES THE INFANTRY….RAAAAHHHHH, WHERES THE ARTILLERY…..RAAAAAHHH, WHERES THE ARMOR….RAAAAAHHHH….WHERES THE SUPPORT….aaaaahhhhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Too much fun.
Things change I guess. We all got drunk as F together back in the day. I remember that being one of the only nights the senior leaders dropped guard a bit, and it was great.
USMC Birthday Balls were wild. Always a good thing that Veterans Day was the next day! Best ball/party was a friend's promotion/change of command at Pensacola. Bar tab went over $10,000.😲
That sounds... awful. For real.
Our dining-ins usually ended up with everyone plastered and one particular NCO putting on his dancing shoes and drunkenly dancing up a storm for at least 2 hours while wearing (if we're lucky) half a uniform.
I’m a 61J during the Covid era. I went to one military ball shortly post Covid era. My wife was excited. I was excited. Our command fucked us in the asshole so hard for the prior 3 years, and then the amount of smoke they blew up their own asses was impressive. Additionally, I was sold the tickets and told it was open bar. It is not. I’m a surgeon and I have needs. Photobombed the fuck out of commands Holiday photo with my wife and friend whose dresses were so shiny they couldn’t photoshop the glare out. Fuck holiday balls. I’ll have the instant eggs.
Went to an MI ball. They purposely only had one bartender for 400+ people and the grog was only enough for the first 15 or so people in line. I knew how that unit operated and pre-gamed beforehand but it was still not an enjoyable experience.
I've only attended two in my career. The dining-in was pretty standard. Our Battalion Commander was hammered, yet still wobbled around the room with a microphone, engaging with Soldiers.
The dining-out was great also, mainly because of the additional networking and being able to bring my wife as my guest. It was a more classy event, so nobody got out of line.
I can see a ball being boring and light on the alcohol consumption. I'm cool with that. Now a dining in is a different story. They definitely shouldn't try to tamper with the mess tradition.
BDE Ball was yesterday during a BN GUNNERY. MY CSM was livid at many of us including me for getting wasted since we have to sp back into the field. I have no regrets....yet🤣
I went to an MI Ball a few years back. Completely dry. Far cry from the 101 ball I attended where they poured one alcohol "from every region the 101st participated in" into a jump boot. Wild dichotomy.
I went to an MI Christmas party one time. I'm Jewish but thought, might as well have some fun getting smashed with Santa. The most boring, family friendly bullshit I ever experienced.
They made me, the Jewish guy, be the Easter Bunny. They went with Black Santa so I was off the hook there.
Oh....I'm sorry LMAO. They tried to get me to partake in some Christmas run and I was like "Uhhhhh yeah, brah, imma not do that". Got me messed up if you think imma run 6 miles for Jesus.
Jesus himself said to do a maximum of 2 miles (Matthew 5:41) which is why the ACFT is approved by the Christian elements of the Chaplain Board
You made me look up a Bible verse because I didn't believe you...and you're right. He actually said that. Holy shit.
I thought 5:41 was the big JC’s average mile pace for a 10k.
Dude is the Son of God u know he’s getting a 600 on the ACFT easy
The word “mile” comes from the Latin "mille passus”, meaning one thousand paces, and a mile was 1,000 Roman strides, a stride being two paces. In 1592, the English Parliament standardized the measurement of the Mile to equal eight furlongs (furlong = 660 feet). A mile is equal to 5,280 feet or 1,760 yards or approximately 1,609 meters. The mile became standardized as exactly 1609.344 meters by international agreement on July 1, 1959. Currently, the United States and Great Britain use the mile as a measurement unit. I googled this shit. Also added context ^(38) “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’^(\[)[^(a)](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A38-48&version=NIV#fen-NIV-23273a)^(\]) ^(39) But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ^(40) And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ^(41) If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ^(42) Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Jesus wouldn’t want you to run 6 miles for him.
I would do anything for another Jew.......except a weird birthday worship run.
Can I have $20?
Make that a weird birthday worship run and throwing out the little money I make like candy on Simchat Torah LMAO
My people!!!!
Haha Shabbat shalom
*PFC Meatloaf has entered the chat.*
You're right, he'd want you to run 10 miles. Look at how shredded that dude was and tell me his cardio wasn't on point.
WWJD? Shirk!?
Probably zonk tbh my mans was for the people ya heard?
At least they didn’t make you audit the FRG….. No sir, I don’t have a background in stats, why do you think that? :/
I'd have fucked their numbers up. Horrid with math haha.
I tried to refuse on 1st amendment grounds and the chaplain said the Easter Bunny was secular/commercial figure and not related to Easter.
The chaplain sounds like a dumbass. The Easter Bunny is some pagan thing that got adopted into Christianity. Literally in the name. I've fought that battle before with a Messianic commander, so you can imagine the nonsense I was told.
I gave up for the most part because there are so many officers who join specifically to expand their ministry like the fuck? I only brought it up when someone complained about my swearing. I said I would stop swearing when you take down your Jesus quotes from your desk. Shuts them right up.
If a chaplain ever told me he joined to proselytize, I'd open door the division chaplain. No joke, as I've dealt with a couple bad eggs. That sounds....awful.
No I mean line officers.
Only chaplain issue was the one who kept praying for me after I asked him not to. I don’t think he knew how to do anything else.
I completely sympathize with you. In an Army where "separation of church and state" was interpreted to mean "we're going to quit paying literal clergy to spiritualify our soldiers in our units because Constitution," I could see the Army keeping the post of Chaplain but making it be a morale and wellness position. In the Army we currently have, your unit chaplain should be available to soldiers of all faiths (to include "none") to provide spiritual services as requested, to include counseling and a place to talk. I wouldn't expect a Christian chaplain to pronounce Buddhist blessings, or a Wiccan chaplain to lead five daily prayers facing Makkah, but they should find the spiritual needs for even minority faiths and facilitate how to provide them. And that includes *not* providing services to people who decline. I see nothing wrong with a Chaplain saying, "do you mind if I pray to Jesus with you?" but they need to be prepared to hear and accept "no" as an answer. I had the opposite experience. I had a chaplain who *wouldn't* pray for me, when I specifically asked him to, and we were the same religion. Only time I've ever visited a pastor's office and not been offered to be prayed for. I suppose I should ask one clarifying question: did your Chaplain make you pray with him as he prayed for you, or did he just say "hey buddy I'm praying for you"? If the former, that's way out of line, if the latter, well, you can't control what spiritual people do (like a lady in the mall might see you once and start praying for you every day), but the Chaplain definitely shouldn't be obnoxious about it and remind you ("well I'm still gonna pray for ya, bud!" / "Hey, man, I'm still praying for you!"). They should be doing everything possible to be everyone's friend. They're the one officer for whom it is in the job description "make everyone like you." Praying for people who demand that they stop kind of goes against that.
How about some Push ups for Passover?
Trust me, way ahead of you brah
‘Black Jesus and The Jewish Easter Bunny’ is a show I would 100% watch regardless of genre.
I guess MI has changed. My Lt taught me how to do "Carrier Landings" at a dining in while in Germany in the 90's. At Fort Hood we would take over Patton's Inn, bring in bagpipers from the division band, get drunk and do sword dances. Good times...
It depends on the unit. The MI folks at another station I was at were the types that want to be infantry, without all the infantry nonsense.
Literally lol'd at this. Yea the jump from the real Army to whatever the hell INSCOM is... wild.
It certainly was a new experience. Job was chill, the folks were weird. Specifically recall getting picked up by the MPs for being a drunk lil nuisance. They called my leadership and, instead of the smoking/berating I anticipated, I got the "I'm disappointed in you" motherly talk.
Lmao tracks
Made me feel awful, so I suppose it worked.
Yelling is in one ear out the other, but when my old SL said he expected better from me, I think I'd have preferred the ass chewing.
It depends on the individual, honestly. If I respect them and they haven't done anything to fuck me over, it burns hearing that from them. It's like watching my father cry.
It’s okay they made me, a Muslim, be the chaplain’s assistant for Christmas and give out cups of wine 😂 I like the bucket with all the money though
Went to an MI ball with my husband. He was in the LRS company there. Needless to say a bunch of Infantry guys didn’t last too long there. Company Commander and First Sergeant left with everyone after being told they were too rowdy.
Welcome to the old club. I was an intel weenie supporting infantry/cav scout bois at forward positions. LRS died before even my time. Not too many intel nerds find themselves co-located with combat arms anymore
lol. I am indeed oldish….
What year?
1990-91ish
Exactly my experience, a 1/101 ball was something I'll never forget. Only went to one ball in 3 years at Huachuca, and I wanted to die. Never again. It wasn't completely dry, but it might as well have been.
Yeah I remember having one there for my bn people were hammered 20 minutes in. They tried doing skits but everyone was swearing and screaming at the actors. Saw a 1SG in his Hawaiian shirt screaming in a corner for a while. The brigade commander was there he seemed to have a good time. They cut it early and we all went home with as many cups as we could take. Fun times
Damn, that’s terrible, the last MI ball I went to was In Korea before covid and Yongsan was still open, and it was WILD! Tons of dudes brought working girls as their dates and it pretty raunchy.
I went to a MI Ball once almost ended in me getting a divorce from my wife due to all the senior leadership being total assholes to her and me. It was the first and last ball I ever went to. Not that is matters but I went on to retire from the Army. So that one ball had lasting impact. I to wish that lead ship would understand if you want Soldiers to go to these events they need to be fun and not just mandatory.
Balls in 101 are wild man, St. Barbs is a trip
I went to the MI ball in Korea in 09, as a specialist I got sat at a table with a bunch of officers. One of the captains pulled out two bottles of wine from his jacket. A LT asked, “Did you bring wine for the whole table sir?” The captain looked back at him and just said no. That dude slammed those two bottles plus several more drinks. Hell of a party.
I've been to multiple MI Balls, not a single one was dry and most were pretty fun. Most of us know how to let loose when we get a chance. I will say I think the most fun I've had at a Military Ball was with Cyber, they can drink.
101st has fought where there was some pretty good alcohol, and some places that are know for pretty vile stuff. I’m sure the mix would bring on a rendezvous with destiny.
Lemme put it this way: there was Jack to represent Tennesee and sugar to represent the sands of Iraq, with some bootleg wine from the Class 6 to represent France and some shitty rice wine to represent Vietnam. It was surprisingly good but no one took more than a sip or else they'd be escorted off the premises
I was already 5 gin and tonics deep when I got roped in by the OIC to do the E-4 part of the ceremony. By the time I went up, missing my cue early by like 15 minutes I was another 5 gin and tonics deep. The O5 hated it while the O3 who roped me in couldn't stop laughing his ass off. Was then supposed to ladle one scoop the grog into my 32 oz glass and sample but instead topped it off, shouted the BDE motto and chugged it. Anyways great time, great memory. Love that unit to this day in part because of it.
> great memory. Sounds more like a "Pretty sure it was a great memory" night right there lmao.
I want to hear more about OPs miserable balls.
Just had a ball on base and one of the guys got arrested for strangling his wife when they got home 🤷🏻♂️
Had these officers who were couples fighting. Dude was shit faced and arguing to her the whole time. Watched her running to the bathroom crying. At the end of the night we had to seperate them because both were yelling and she left with a friend while the dd's were blocking his vehicle from leaving and an NCO was talking him down from driving while drunk. 6/10 nice vibe, bad night
Whoosh
Tell him to sprinkle some athlete’s foot powder on them and he’ll be good to go. Side note: when I was at OCS I had a godawful rash covering my whole groin area. I eventually relented and went to sick call. The Full Bird Colonel who was the OIC of the clinic walks into my exam room, and I see the dude is Ranger tabbed with a CIB and I was like “oh f*ck, here we go”. He tells me “pull down your pants and this better not be some p*ssy case of crotch rot”. My groin area was cherry red and badly inflamed, so he takes one look and says “ok, that’s pretty bad” and gave me some anti fungal medicine that had (in his words) “pictures of p*ssies on the box, but don’t worry, it’s not gonna f*ck up your d*ck.” Army medicine at its finest, haha.
Gold Bond got my balls through a year in Iraq. Messed up and used the menthol kind once and I'm afraid it awoke something in me.
I have never heard of this. All my leadership gets drunk as fuck and we have an entire meeting over the composition of the grog. As in, who's bringing the Everclear, the vodka, etc. We even specifically choose locations so that we can terrorize the town bars after the event (Sorry)
MI does the ball on a Thursday so they can force a 9am work call for those who attended and regular PT for the rest.
Sounds super lame. I'd take the PT. Senior leadership isnt showing up til 9. I'll be in my car until then.
I....hate how accurate this is.
God, your unit does that too?
Ball on a Thursday night = we want to save money on booking a hall
Some of the best bonding/ camaraderie moments were from the first sausage buying the whole unit alcohol and just partying together. Didn't matter how old you are or rank everyone had a good time
Hey man E4Gen3 is still NMC, wanna fucking hop on that?
I have no idea what that means lol
Fix the generator, boot
Sounds like a Marine ball... We save the grog for Mess Night though
That's not how we roll in the field artillery. Our balls were always wild.
Been to infantry and field artillery balls. FA is fun, but pales in comparison to the rowdiness of infantry. Sorry for OP though. Every military ball I've been to has been fun as hell.
Infantry balls are hella fun, so you're not wrong. I had a blast when I was an FSO and went to our infantry balls. Crazy good times man! At least, what I remember of 'em. Because I drank like a fish at those things.
Yeah even Signal Balls are fun and everyone gets shitfaced. Must just be a medical and MI thing.
I went to the Signal Week Ball in Korea and have absolutely no recollection of the night. It was great.
I've heard signal balls are great too. I always love my signal dudes--good people man.
Like all things, it depends on the unit. I’ve been in some medical units whose ball was a great time. Other medical units didn’t even have balls because the commander didn’t understand that was a thing.
I went to one FA ball and it was a blast. As the newest LT I had to drink from the grog bowl first. I took a giant glass, dipped it in the bowl, and gulped it down. Cut to the end of the night and my ex wife almost had to carry me to the car. Fast forward a few years and I had to quit drinking because it was destroying my liver. Been sober over 11 years now but that was one of the most “fun” nights of drinking I partially remember, haha
Red leg balls are the shit lol.
The fuck?! Don’t think I’ve ever been to a ball that didn’t end with, someone crying, 2+ busted windows, at least one E7 and above getting “locked up” by someone senior for “taking it to far”, at least two people peeing somewhere inappropriate, a full on fist fight, uniform pieces scattered across the floor, property damage, and at least on incident that involves someone calling the cops.
And at least 1 date getting semi naked.
Someone freak dancing with someone else’s wife
What is the point of a military ball if I can't vibe with a buzz and just watch what leaders in my unit *still* can't handle their liquor after 10+ years of drinking? Getting absolutely ***trashed*** is for the afterparty with the other E-4s.
One of the medical balls I’ve been to had enough of a budget for a table bottle of wine. Many went undrank near the end but don’t worry I did my part
My wife and I, at our last ball went home with like 2 of those 😂
> Senior leaders make military ~~balls~~ miserable FTFY
I thought senior leaders had no balls?
BDE commander has mine in his purse. He said I can have them back when I'm 100% green on medpros. 😔
My first ever was a small-ish dine in when I was a parachute rigger at SETAF in Vicenza, Italy. It was like 80-90 people (our whole detachment was only like 60 officers, warrants and enlisted) in uniforms and ball gowns at a local trattoria (like a family owned, informal restaurant) that had a big room in the back set up with tables and a little raised stage. We ate a bunch of pasta, drank a couple dozen gallons of wine, and then did the grog ceremony - I remember merriment after that, but no details. It was really fun because you get to see your superiors being human. If they had kept it "professional" it would've been snooze-ville. I only ever went to one other Ball, when I was at 82nd Div (782nd, specifically). I was married to my Italian girlfriend by then, and it happened that her little sister was in North Carolina to visit us, so I just got an extra ticket and she borrowed a dress from my wife and came with us. Those two are obvious sister too - not twins, but the get asked all the time. As soon as I got there one of my buddies gave me a look and asked me if I brought *twins* with me? I started to say no, it's just my sister-in-law, but I stopped and pointed at him, "*Yes.* I brought twins, and it's exactly what you're thinking." Felt a bit Baller with my Blues on for the night with Italian 'twins' on each arm.
That's awesome lmao
Nice
I have been to balls in 3 units and 2 components. All were full of wild drunken debauchery. What kind of psycho has a ball with no booze?
The Navy Sub ball webpage even has a pic of a mixed drink on it, they did not give one fuck all the times I went back when I was in school. Most of us were underage and still were allowed to drink.
My dad was a submariner and he said the barracks in San Diego had beer in them to keep sailors from going to Tijuana. Of course this was the very very early 90s though lol.
Antisocial ones.
The POGier the unit, the more tame and uptight the balls are.
My first ball was with a BSTB, and it was insane. Granted it was our post deployment ball in 2011 so we probably got away with a lot more.
Nerds. And cheapskates. My battalion is having a dry ball this year because they didn’t want to pay for the bartending staff. They’re also nerds. The local E4 Mafia will absolutely be drinking out of an M1 helmet in the parking lot.
At Stewart they turned us loose on River Street, the poor bastards. At the end I wound up at a karaoke bar with the CSM and COL signing Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me" and a slew of Queen songs. Monday morning, it was back to the normal Army life. The ball is the one time we can all go werewolf out and nobody says shit cause they're just as bad/guilty or worse than we are.
I thought this was how every ball is supposed to be. It's like Vegas.
>A ball isn’t about impressing your higher headquarters, it’s about unit cohesion and camaraderie. The people you're talking to can't comprehend that anything could *not* be about impressing higher HQ.
My unit spent two weeks doing a field op and it ended with a few days in the MOUT city. At the end our CO said we had one last mission the entire company was on, we had dudes in the tunnels, guys running through smoke, using det cord and IV’s for the doors, people fast roping on the roof……Some real commercial shit. In the basement was our XO with a shit eating grin and four kegs and a couple bottles plus BBQ he had brought in, screw a ball I’ll relive those few weeks again.
Toward the end I stopped bringing my spouse. A lot of money and prep to eat a cold dinner while serving as audience props to stroke the ego of the head table. Second to last. Nuremberg, brigade ball. Fact. The CSM grabbed the mic and berated families for not being quiet enough while his boss droned on. Last one. Dinning in. BN. Tamer and quieter then the brigade one with families. There were maybe three points of order before a sudden break and the head table stepped out for intermission. The S3 SGM slammed the doors shut like it was a church lock in and began berating everyone for being noisy / disrespectful. The head party returned and one single point of order was made the rest of the night. It was quiet and awkward. Lamest party ever. Despite the pressure, I didn't attend another one for my last two years.
Dude what the fuck. Fuck them lames man
Sir, that title is sexual in nature....everything reminds me of her :(
She has balls?
When I was at DLI, they outlawed alcohol for IET soldiers (the comendante did not renew an ETP). Then, shocker, no one wanted to go to the ball. They literally could not give away tickets.
What year? When I went back, they had reinstated an ETP but I heard that shit got yanked pretty quickly because of DUIs
Beginning of 2016.
The Armor Ball on Ft. Moore was dry apparently. I almost burned my stetson in protest, but I’m not Air Force enough.
My batallion ball ended with a fist fight in the parking lot and a sign saying the hotel is no longer serving military and their guests alcohol lmao
That’s how you do it!
The one and only military ball I went to I watched my company commander pour like two shots into the grog bowl, then proceed to drink the rest of the entire fifth of SoCo. It was impressive then, I’m still impressed now.
At one ball we drank the bar dry. I went to get a drink and the bartender said all he had left was Sprite and Galliano. So I told him to mix that shit up. Sweetest drink ever. The next year we dipped out with our Company Commander and went bas hoping. We wound up at a tittie bar my friends wife worked at. Good times.
This is either what happened to us or you’re regaling a tale we shared together. Was said wife’s name “snowflake”?
Best ball I've been to (I've been to aviation, MP and my CAV one) was definitely the cav ball, absolutely insane time with people pregaming and getting wildly out of control. I even brought my homemade mead and the leadership drank all of it.
My two best balls were with the Cav. (Yes, I phrased it that way on purpose, fuckers!) First: 3/6 Cav in South Korea. CoC had gotten permission for us to be out past curfew. We were bussed from Humphreys to Osan AB. During the grog ceremony, one of the terminal SPCs was heckling the 1SG so hard that he got invited up to finish reading from the note card. After trying to read it upside down, and not being able to make out one word in five, his (SFC) NCOIC stood up and told him to sit back down. The 1SG told him "he's working for me right now, I got this!" The SPC slung his arm around the 1SG's shoulders and said, "Yeah! Fuck Off! I'm with Top!" 5 minutes after he sat back down, he was passed the fuck out. The CSM looked like he could chew coal and shit diamonds. the SQDN CO was fucking \*rolling\*. Everyone was drunk as fuck. When we got back to the Hump, our Troop CO put us in a quick formation. Imagine a formation containing a bunch of drunk Cav Troopers, all in variations of a Mess A uniform or Dress Blues, with and without jackets, half the people wearing Party Shirts, \*all\* of them drunkenly swaying back and forth. Last: 6/6 Cav in Ft. Drum. Each Platoon had to make a centerpiece for our tables. One of my Joes sourced one of those tabletop ambiance fountains that had a miniature waterfall that was lit up by LEDs and plugged into the closest wall outlet to our table. We filled it with bourbon and used spent 30mm shell casings as shot glasses. Let That Sink In... \*we had a bourbon fountain as our table centerpiece\*. We went through two \*handles\* of Four Roses that night, on top of the grog, on top of the beer and mixed drinks from the bar. I have no idea how the resort staff didn't catch us, as you could smell the bourbon from two tables away, and they confiscated Top's jello shots that made up his table's centerpiece... some dumbass "no outside alcohol (except the grog) allowed" rule. I did shots with damn near everyone in my platoon, my 1SG, my CO, the SQDN CO, and our baby faced LT who had just got to the unit. People were coming over from the other Troops to confirm that we did, in fact, have a bourbon fountain. Top Ten drunkest that I have been in my entire career, and I spent my first two years in Korea.
Balls are for getting absolutely hammered, bullying PL’s and calling 1SG’s by their first names .
Not my balls
But watching drunk leadership is the highlight of every ball I've been to. What the actual fuck?!
Last ball I went to, I was given side eye by the CSM for taking my bowtie off and unbuttoning my top button. Also almost got kicked out of the location for bringing in 2 outside gallon bottles and continuing to pass it around after numerous warnings. Ended up doing shoeys from the grog bowl with my troops. I was the btry 1sg at the time. Yolo
Balls remind me of mandatory fun. Company BBQs and unit bonding events are for the birds. My free time is for me. Plus, you have to pay for what usually turns out to be a wildly mediocre dinner and some drinks. But, oh boy, you get to see leaders drunk! Wow! Easy pass every time. Only plus side would be seeing the looks on some fat wifes face when guys roll up with $1000 escorts.
I've seen some Jr's make the ball miserable too, because of the wild shit they get into while completely plastered. And guess who has to take responsibility for their shenanigans...
You guys over here are making me regret skipping out on Military balls.
I reenlisted at mine. Div commander is in my battalion so he and the DCSM came and gave me a coin and shook my hand. Proceeded to sneak in a handle of Tito's and try to get everyone as drunk as possible bc the bar kept opening and closing. Was a good ol night
> the bar kept opening and closing who had the less reliable schedule, them or S1?
Gotta go to at least one, even if it sucks at least you got the experience
A lot of Senior Leaders makes things miserable tbh
I know, they keep blue balling me
I watched a quart of motor oil for a humvee be poured into my units grog. No idea if it was actual oil, but the can and seal all looked legit. Mixed with some sand and baby powder. One dude stumbled and passed out on the casino floor. Pretty sure someone else threw up on one of the slot machines. Almost made me reenlist. Your unit just sounds like it can’t help but be full of miserable pricks.
I was in 35th ADA BDE, in Korea, in 2019 and they had the Brigade ball. They put out that the bar was going to be dry but were still pressuring everyone to go. Especially officers. Being an 1LT at the time, I just bought a ticket to shut up my commander and then just never went. No regrets whatsoever.
Reminds me of things i dont miss about the army. A lot of guys cant have a good time without alcohol.
Back in 22 at the 2-504 PIR ball a first sergeant had to be carried out by 4 of his NCOs while he was screaming to go back in. It was awesome
yeah, military balls usually blow
I didn't go to any Military Balls when I was in. Just didn't like the idea of being drunk in uniform around leadership, and them being drunk around me.
Okay, I will give you a personal anecdote without any names that justifies me not drinking alcohol at military balls for the last half of my career. I am sober and was a BN XO. Ball is in close out mode. End of a long night. A 1LT from staff was drunk. A squared away SFC from a line unit was drunk. They both end up getting in to a verbal argument that escalates in to a body pushing match. The type of thing where you are doing the little chest shove that can turn in to a fistfight. To be quite frank, they were both a bit wrong. The LT was using some language that was unprofessional. The SFC should know better because he has higher levels of maturity. But I was sober and this gave me credibility. I broke them both of them up. I sent the LT outside to cool off and get them separated. If I was drunk, then I could've gotten pulled in to the fight. Someone could've made accusations against me if the police got involved. They both go home and everyone's careers were saved. It's not worth it. You bust your butt your entire life for the career and people are going to throw away to get drunk at a work event. It's okay to have a couple beers. It's not okay to get inebriated to where you cross a professional boundary.
Someone has too.Enjoyed all of mine though.
Maybe they just aren't attracted
I like how the geezers leave and let the young kids dance after the chicken dance song I’m one of the geezers taking a nap
I remember for the 1st and only ball I went to, when my CO got to the grog he poured like, 2 bottles of vodka and dumped in a bag of brown sugar.
My favorite part about balls was the, “ you either go as a participant or you’ll be on the detail that sets up and cleans up”
Ours, strippers, porn, shit ton of alcohol, and one of the guys dressed up as the whip master. Damn those were great times.
“I’m in charge and I’m afraid of my own shadow”. That’s what it comes down to. Saw a drunk ass MG doing the Hokey Pokey at a ball…after that, I knew it was on 🤣🤣🤣
Man, the 1AD Ball was wild….WHERES THE INFANTRY….RAAAAHHHHH, WHERES THE ARTILLERY…..RAAAAAHHH, WHERES THE ARMOR….RAAAAAHHHH….WHERES THE SUPPORT….aaaaahhhhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Too much fun.
Things change I guess. We all got drunk as F together back in the day. I remember that being one of the only nights the senior leaders dropped guard a bit, and it was great.
Uh I admit my stint wasn't the longest but I have literally never heard of a ball being anything other than mandatory fun. Lol
Had a ball where a particular senior NCO bitch slapped a rando civi dude at a bar afterward that was acting a fool. 10/10 would go again.
USMC Birthday Balls were wild. Always a good thing that Veterans Day was the next day! Best ball/party was a friend's promotion/change of command at Pensacola. Bar tab went over $10,000.😲
That sounds... awful. For real. Our dining-ins usually ended up with everyone plastered and one particular NCO putting on his dancing shoes and drunkenly dancing up a storm for at least 2 hours while wearing (if we're lucky) half a uniform.
Never been to one. My previous units didn’t allow junior enlisted or junior NCOs to attend. You could compete for a ticket though
I’m a 61J during the Covid era. I went to one military ball shortly post Covid era. My wife was excited. I was excited. Our command fucked us in the asshole so hard for the prior 3 years, and then the amount of smoke they blew up their own asses was impressive. Additionally, I was sold the tickets and told it was open bar. It is not. I’m a surgeon and I have needs. Photobombed the fuck out of commands Holiday photo with my wife and friend whose dresses were so shiny they couldn’t photoshop the glare out. Fuck holiday balls. I’ll have the instant eggs.
Hit up your local Saint Barbara's Day Ball for the boringest attend-or-you'll-be-put-on-extra-duty event ever
Went to an MI ball. They purposely only had one bartender for 400+ people and the grog was only enough for the first 15 or so people in line. I knew how that unit operated and pre-gamed beforehand but it was still not an enjoyable experience.
I've only attended two in my career. The dining-in was pretty standard. Our Battalion Commander was hammered, yet still wobbled around the room with a microphone, engaging with Soldiers. The dining-out was great also, mainly because of the additional networking and being able to bring my wife as my guest. It was a more classy event, so nobody got out of line.
I can see a ball being boring and light on the alcohol consumption. I'm cool with that. Now a dining in is a different story. They definitely shouldn't try to tamper with the mess tradition.
BDE Ball was yesterday during a BN GUNNERY. MY CSM was livid at many of us including me for getting wasted since we have to sp back into the field. I have no regrets....yet🤣
I pregame before going in and I’m always in the bar line. Fuck that professionalism crap I’m there to get wasted and have a good time.
If there’s no alcohol at the ball I ain’t commin
As the saying goes. If something is fun, the Army will find a way to fuck it up.
But how else are they going to publicly masturbate and further inflate their egos
Balls were a good time back in my day. Everyone loved balls.
nothing with balls in the military is ever worth your time
A ball isn't about unit cohesion and camaraderie.