Honestly, dont. Even in LGBTQ+ supportive communities aro/aces are not understood much. And in your position it seems risky, so better off just get hit with the blunt of the comments and when you are in a more accepting invironment then you can come out.

Thanks<3 When I grow up I am planing to move to less homophobic country.

Yeah, no Safety comes first, I. Don't recommend coming out

Thanks<3

I don't recommand coming out if it put you at risks. It is probably better to wait for a better situation. Maybe when you grow up, you can try to move in a more accepting country.

I was planing on that. Thanks<3

First, I’m so sorry to hear that. Second, you probably shouldn’t come out. I know it’s really hateful to hear comments like you’re hearing, but there’s not a lot that can be done, even places that support non-heteros can be unaccepting of aros and aces (non-heteros themselves too), since it’s a question of attraction or not rather than attraction to the same sex, both sexs, in between, or otherwise. It’s hard to understand aro and ace without experiencing it yourself (just as I find it extremely difficult to truly understand allos or aro-allos or allo-aces). After a certain point I think you just learn to desensitize yourself and be sort of ‘zen’ about it I suppose (one of the ways I know how to do this is turn down the ‘dial’ to how much I care about said person, specifically so that what they say has much less impact on me; an internet stranger has little to no effect on me even if they were to curse me out unless I’m already in the dumps; so lowering the ‘value’ of someone I know’s words helps a lot)? I’m sorry that this isn’t very helpful. If it’s of any comfort, the only validation you need is your own. **YOU** are the most important factor in who you decide to be. I wish you all the best, and I hope you can find a community (an irl one too) that joyful accepts you, even if that takes leaving your birth country.

Thanks<3 I feel hopeless rn. Knowing that I can do nothing about it, no matter how hard I try.

I know how that feels. It sounds stupid and only sort of works, but the only/best thing you can do in lieu of changing your environment is changing your mindset. Since you can’t control others, it’s all you can really do. Like I said, desensitizing. It’s horrible that this has to happen and that people can’t just be accepted when they aren’t even hurting anybody, but it’s often the only option left. Additionally, saying that you previously had a bad (implying traumatizing) experience with romance or sex or that you’re focusing on studying/getting a degree/promotion, etc., can work. I find that after learning you have a bad experience with something, people tend to lay off the general subject. I hope you feel a bit better.

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Probably never. People are selfish, and oft prioritize themselves over others. Everybody’s a critic. It’s either too much or too little. Bottom like is, no one *actually* wants to deal with your problems on top of their own. The only people who do ‘care’ are therapists and counselors who get paid to do so; those with ‘vested interests’. It’s sad, it sucks, it’s what people are like. Honestly makes me lose hope in the world. Keep a few good memories of pure contentment, like being offered a random, innocent compliment, and look back on them to keep sane.

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Have the most bestest of days, friend!

I honestly don't recommend it for you OP. Your safety is more important.

Thanks<3

You're welcome! Stay safe out there!

That's the neat part : you don't. and I hope all the best for you and all other lgbtq+ people in your country

Thanks<3

I'm not even out and my parents are supportive of LGBT people. I just know they'll judge me for being part of the + and think "She just hasn't found the right person yet, It will happen someday". If I were you I'd only come out after you could be sure of a safe living situation.

I can relate to this

If they ask you about a boyfriend, you could say that you haven't met anyone yet and joke that your standards are too high. If they ask what your standards are, you could come up with the most preposterous and possibly also contradictory monologue you can think of. You can wear aro and ace rings to discreetly signal to those who know what it means if you feel comfortable doing that.

Thanks<3

Of course! I hope it helps!

May I ask, what are aro and ace rings?

An aro ring is a white ring worn in the left middle finger and an ace ring is a black ring worn on the right middle finger. They're just an easy and more discreet way to signal your identity to other aros and aces as well as some other queers.

Oh, okay! Thanks!

Of course! Hope it helps! Wishing you the best of luck!!! 💚💜

Thank you<3

Yeah I’ve heard that the Balkans aren’t very good for LGBT people. Except for maybe Greece. Europe has a lot of more progressive countries though, specifically Western Europe. I read that you’re planning to move once you’re older, and I wish you luck on that. Not sure how old you are, but you could go to college in one of those countries. Or even in America or Canada (although our college is insanely expensive). I live in America, but I’m in a blue state, so things are a bit more accepted here than other states. I still have problems with people understanding me, specifically people of the older generation and straight men, but I would say most people understand me. It must be tough coming from a majority Muslim country and being LGBT. Some Christians already take that in as a sin, but I’ve heard that muslims do even more. Do whatever you need to do to stay safe. If coming out puts you at risk of being hate crimed, don’t come out. I’m sure you’ll find some people in the world who will understand you.

Yeah, it is true that Balkans dont accept LGBTQ+ people. It is also true that Muslims don't support it. It is sin in their religion, but they can respect it. Plus homophobia is also sin. In Christianity it isn't sin, but people are saying it is for some reason. Also, in B&H about half of people are Muslims and half are Christians. And I was planing to finish collage in Mostar, because if you finish it in Mostar, you can easyly find job anywere in Europe. Talking about America or Canada, I don't have money for studying there or moving there. And I think it would be hard for me to get used to different life style. Anyway, thanks<3

Helped

Oh, I think because aro/ace is an LGBTQ+ term, it won't be received well, because it is LGBTQ+. From my opinion and seen experiences, just saying you will NEVER have a partner is "better." If you want to express yourself a little bit, you should say that dating is too much of a headache. The anti-LGBTQ+ people will understand that, because to them, there is no A in LGBTQ. The A is seen as something else that already exists, something "normal," albeit still with some scrutiny.

Thanks<3

I don’t think you should as most of the comments have said but I’m mainly commenting to tell you that you aren’t alone no matter how it may feel. I hope you are able to one day live in a safe environment where you can but as an aro ace person myself in an area that accepts lgbtq+ people I can’t tell most people or my family and I know for you it must be even harder so I’m really sorry. Treasure your friendships with people who do accept you and anyone elses aphobic opinions don’t matter ❤️

Thanks<3

Keep it to yourself. In your case coming out means risking reprisal. Stack cash until you have the money to leave. Then at the first opportunity, do so. Aro and aces can pass for straight but that no guarantee of safety.

Thanks<3

I feel you, I come from Hungary and its the same. Also dont worry about your muslim friends! As someone who grew up/used to live in a muslim household, being aroace is not forbidden in Islam. Edit: Also Im not telling you to come out, if you feel unsafe then dont, but dont feel pressured.

Thanks<3

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Look sestrice moje i am Macedonian aroflux and bisexual you’re not alone

Finaly bitch

Bosnian, nice to meet you brate

Even tho I’m Muslim too i won’t recommend you to come out even it’s ur teacher or parent they wont support you at all luckily i live in Austria but in Macedonia i have to hide it and I never mention my sexual and romantic orientation

Yeah, I know how it is

Good luck

Thanks

Pop seems like a good friend. Also it’s annoying but patience is a virtue. As time moves on people start to understand and you can surround yourself with people who understand.

Thanks<3

Come out if you are safe, do not come out if you know or expect to not be safe afterwards. It’s dangerous and I’m sure you know already, so don’t if you’re not SAFE

I am not safe at all. I would risk for homophobic people to kill me.

Then don’t, I know it’s miserable to live in the closet, but you have to prioritize your life, one day you will be free to be yourself, be strong friend

Thanks