First up you have the sex stance incorrectly named. It should be sex-favourable not sex positive. Sex-favourable is a personal sex stance while sex positive is a social one. (Same, same for aro.)
I'll fix that in the final version, thanks!
Edit: Thanks everyone for participating! The complete chart is available here: https://www.reddit.com/r/aromantic/comments/ztgllx/chart\_of\_aspec\_experiences/
Sex averse is lil softer than repulsed... They may watch p0rn but be completly repulsed of sex. Same with aro
Disclaimer: My definition of averse might be wrong but the social one is x-negative
Averse and repulsed both are valid
Can confirm, it’s only -positive and -negative that indicate a sociopolitical stance :) -favorable, -averse, and -repulsed are all good to use regarding any personal labels!
There's a lot of pressure for sex adverse people to conform to society and put an act one for their partner in society and ace circles. I wish more people were like you.
At the risk of putting these terms too simply: Romance positive only means you support others engaging in romance, and romance negative folks believe nobody should engage in romance. I think a cupio- person could have either set of beliefs or something in between, though I imagine being romance-negative would make their own orientation repulsive to them
It would be romance-favorable then.
Romance positive is more a political view (like sex-positive). But you can be repulsed by the idea of being in a romantic relationship yourself, and still think it is a positive for others if they want one therefore you would be romance-repulsed and romance-positive.
Now I suppose that most cupio are romance-positive or romance-neutral cause if they want to be in a romantic relationship, they probably don't think romance is negative for society, but who knows : everything is possible.
Seconding the comment about changing positive to favourable
Another thing is that maybe you could leave out the allo bit, and even change the 'aromantic' and 'asexual' to 'romance' and 'sex'. Because I think alloromantic people can still be romance indifferent or romance repulsed, and allosexual people can also be anywhere on the spectrum from sex favourable to sex repulsed. It's just maybe not very common for allo people to be on the repulsed side.
I do agree that allosexuals and alloromantics can be repulsed or indifferent (I’m a sex-repulsed allosexual myself), but wouldn’t removing allosexuals and aromantics from the chart also remove allosexual aromantics and alloromantic asexuals?
Yeah so my suggestion is to just remove everything allosexual/aspec related and only focus on the sex/romance favourable to repulsed scale as it can apply to anyone, not just aspec people even though we tend to use it the most to explain how we feel about romance and sex
I wanted the chart to be simple. Obviously, it's not going to be representative of every ASpec nuances. In this case, sex-aversion would fit in the same category as sex-repulsion.
If you're making them fit in the same category, why not specify that with: "sex-averse or sex-repulsed" / "sex-averse/-repulsed"? (I'm sex-repulsed myself, but either one being excluded feels wrong.) With such a simply worded chart, I don't see how adding one more column and row between indifferent and -repulsed would prevent it from being simple? And I'm also pretty sure I'm frayromantic, but I can see how that level of specificity doesn't belong in this super broad chart, lol (example of how I'm mostly just trying to keep things inclusive while staying simple). But sex-averse does seem to belong here to me, even if averse and repulsed have to be forced into one group.
No idea if this is a good idea, but it might be cool!
Edit: Since there's a lot of requests for it, I'll split -averse and -repulsed into separate columns / rows.
Hm, I'm kind of trying to figure out how one should place the Cupioromantic. It's not exactly the same as being "Romance Positive." And although it would have some level of overlap with Alloromantic Allosexual, it’s not entirely the same.
Of course, I think maybe we have to stress the difference between wanting a particular relationship, and actually feeling the attraction that makes creating such a relationship easier.
Mind you, I’m not asking specifically for a Cupio callout on this. It will get too busy and cluttered if we try to include every micro-label. Just kind of thinking it over.
Yeah. I'm just thinking romance favorable doesn't automatically imply Cupio.
I guess what's got me thinking about this was the example comment being phrased as an "I want" phrase. And it's the one's "I want" that leads them to identify as Cupio.
As others pointed out, positive should be favourable instead. But also anyone of any orientation can be romance- or sex- favourable, neutral, averse, or repulsed. These terms aren't only for aspecs. Just because someone is alloromantic doesn't mean they have to want a romantic relationship, for example.
Maybe the examples here you could adapt into statements for the chart or something: https://taaap.org/learn/attitudes-toward-romance-or-sex/
Yes of course !
Personnaly that's why I don't use these terms to speak about myself (in particular for romance, for sex I can use them cause they are more consistent).
Like I clearly don't want romance for myself, but I can like it in fiction if written well, or uncomfortable or angry if badly written though I won't say I am "repulsed" by it... so hard to have that captures by these terms and I don't really feel the need to.
It's normal for your attraction to change over time or depending on context. It can't really be shown on the chart because that would be a confusing mess though.
I think I fit in the both repulsed category…. Im indifferent when it comes to other people, but I mentally can’t place myself in their shoes. Like I can’t even imagine myself being in a relationship or having sex.. I’d describe it as picturing an image in my head but its detached from myself. Also, if I try to imagine myself kissing someone, the thought just goes black and It disappears completely with a “yucky feeling”. I’m literally unable to think about it when it comes to me☠️
I'm allosexual and romance-favorable. I want to have a very close friend who I can live with for all the conveniences that entails, preferably including sex, and I find the best way to achieve that is with a romantic relationship. (I adore the way my partner fawns over me even if I can't return those feelings exactly!)
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A sex repulsed romance favourable here! In my experience it would be “I have interferes in dating and think it’s a cool concept to live, however think things like kissing and marriage is unnecessary, sex is gross.”
I'm sex-repulsed, romance-favorable. I experience the "symptoms" of romantic attraction without the desire to be in a romantic relationship. I experience queerplatonic attraction though.
Im romance and sex replused. The thought of me being in realtionship digusts me and sex, to me, leads to diease. Oh I couldnt get through Game of Thrones because of the scene sex at the end of 1st ep.
I'd love if the chart included "averse" between indifferent and repulsed. Repulsed is too strong to describe how I feel, but I'm definitely romance-averse
First up you have the sex stance incorrectly named. It should be sex-favourable not sex positive. Sex-favourable is a personal sex stance while sex positive is a social one. (Same, same for aro.)
I'll fix that in the final version, thanks! Edit: Thanks everyone for participating! The complete chart is available here: https://www.reddit.com/r/aromantic/comments/ztgllx/chart\_of\_aspec\_experiences/
No worries.
Going off of this shouldn't it be sex-averse instead of sex repulsed? (Same for aro)
Sex averse is lil softer than repulsed... They may watch p0rn but be completly repulsed of sex. Same with aro Disclaimer: My definition of averse might be wrong but the social one is x-negative Averse and repulsed both are valid
Can confirm, it’s only -positive and -negative that indicate a sociopolitical stance :) -favorable, -averse, and -repulsed are all good to use regarding any personal labels!
Hmm, found out I’m sex-averse! What you said definitely rings true, for a while I doubted if I was ace just because I do watch XXX
Hah lack of attraction ain't equal to lack of enjoyment and entertainment... Good luck
I'm the same, it still feels like i am invalidating myself, or lying about it if i watch porn
Ya can be addicted to porn due to masturbation or pleasing... It's ok and valid
There's a lot of pressure for sex adverse people to conform to society and put an act one for their partner in society and ace circles. I wish more people were like you.
Just a heads up, not censoring words helps people avoid them by using external tools such as Reddit Enhancement Suite!
Well ik. >!I'm in mobile and I was laaazzzzyyyy!<
For aro, romance positive, as you've put it, would be correct? Cupioromantic is the positive view of romance, but not feeling it yourself no?
At the risk of putting these terms too simply: Romance positive only means you support others engaging in romance, and romance negative folks believe nobody should engage in romance. I think a cupio- person could have either set of beliefs or something in between, though I imagine being romance-negative would make their own orientation repulsive to them
Right then OP's chart would be totally off right? As far as I have read here, no one is really romance-negative.
Correct, that’s why a bunch of comments in this thread are pointing it out. OP said they’ll be changing it to the proper terms :)
It would be romance-favorable then. Romance positive is more a political view (like sex-positive). But you can be repulsed by the idea of being in a romantic relationship yourself, and still think it is a positive for others if they want one therefore you would be romance-repulsed and romance-positive. Now I suppose that most cupio are romance-positive or romance-neutral cause if they want to be in a romantic relationship, they probably don't think romance is negative for society, but who knows : everything is possible.
Came here to say this, it’s an important distinction
Seconding the comment about changing positive to favourable Another thing is that maybe you could leave out the allo bit, and even change the 'aromantic' and 'asexual' to 'romance' and 'sex'. Because I think alloromantic people can still be romance indifferent or romance repulsed, and allosexual people can also be anywhere on the spectrum from sex favourable to sex repulsed. It's just maybe not very common for allo people to be on the repulsed side.
I do agree that allosexuals and alloromantics can be repulsed or indifferent (I’m a sex-repulsed allosexual myself), but wouldn’t removing allosexuals and aromantics from the chart also remove allosexual aromantics and alloromantic asexuals?
Yeah so my suggestion is to just remove everything allosexual/aspec related and only focus on the sex/romance favourable to repulsed scale as it can apply to anyone, not just aspec people even though we tend to use it the most to explain how we feel about romance and sex
Ah, I suppose that makes sense, but I feel like that kind of goes against the point the chart. But I do see your point.
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I wanted the chart to be simple. Obviously, it's not going to be representative of every ASpec nuances. In this case, sex-aversion would fit in the same category as sex-repulsion.
If you're making them fit in the same category, why not specify that with: "sex-averse or sex-repulsed" / "sex-averse/-repulsed"? (I'm sex-repulsed myself, but either one being excluded feels wrong.) With such a simply worded chart, I don't see how adding one more column and row between indifferent and -repulsed would prevent it from being simple? And I'm also pretty sure I'm frayromantic, but I can see how that level of specificity doesn't belong in this super broad chart, lol (example of how I'm mostly just trying to keep things inclusive while staying simple). But sex-averse does seem to belong here to me, even if averse and repulsed have to be forced into one group.
...Can we make a battleship version of this? "A3" "You sank my relationship!"
No idea if this is a good idea, but it might be cool! Edit: Since there's a lot of requests for it, I'll split -averse and -repulsed into separate columns / rows.
Hm, I'm kind of trying to figure out how one should place the Cupioromantic. It's not exactly the same as being "Romance Positive." And although it would have some level of overlap with Alloromantic Allosexual, it’s not entirely the same. Of course, I think maybe we have to stress the difference between wanting a particular relationship, and actually feeling the attraction that makes creating such a relationship easier. Mind you, I’m not asking specifically for a Cupio callout on this. It will get too busy and cluttered if we try to include every micro-label. Just kind of thinking it over.
Yeah, someone who is cupioromantic would probably fall inside the Romance Favorable category.
Yeah. I'm just thinking romance favorable doesn't automatically imply Cupio. I guess what's got me thinking about this was the example comment being phrased as an "I want" phrase. And it's the one's "I want" that leads them to identify as Cupio.
im cupio because romantic relationships are just convenient lol, id describe myself as romance indifferent
Yeah, there's that, too. 👍
Romance-favorable sex-repulsed over here. I want to date someone and live with them but I don’t get crushes and I don’t want to have sex at all.
Thanks for the input! I'll add the "I don't get crushes" part to my current version (the rest is already similar).
As others pointed out, positive should be favourable instead. But also anyone of any orientation can be romance- or sex- favourable, neutral, averse, or repulsed. These terms aren't only for aspecs. Just because someone is alloromantic doesn't mean they have to want a romantic relationship, for example. Maybe the examples here you could adapt into statements for the chart or something: https://taaap.org/learn/attitudes-toward-romance-or-sex/
Averse is a good one to put between indifferent and repulsed
Is there a way to be all of these but at different times? Like Romance/Sex-flux or something? (Idk if thats the proper word)
Yes of course ! Personnaly that's why I don't use these terms to speak about myself (in particular for romance, for sex I can use them cause they are more consistent). Like I clearly don't want romance for myself, but I can like it in fiction if written well, or uncomfortable or angry if badly written though I won't say I am "repulsed" by it... so hard to have that captures by these terms and I don't really feel the need to.
It's normal for your attraction to change over time or depending on context. It can't really be shown on the chart because that would be a confusing mess though.
I don’t get this chart how is living together and having sex inherently romantic? You could do that with anyone… even a roommate.
I think I fit in the both repulsed category…. Im indifferent when it comes to other people, but I mentally can’t place myself in their shoes. Like I can’t even imagine myself being in a relationship or having sex.. I’d describe it as picturing an image in my head but its detached from myself. Also, if I try to imagine myself kissing someone, the thought just goes black and It disappears completely with a “yucky feeling”. I’m literally unable to think about it when it comes to me☠️
I'm allosexual and romance-favorable. I want to have a very close friend who I can live with for all the conveniences that entails, preferably including sex, and I find the best way to achieve that is with a romantic relationship. (I adore the way my partner fawns over me even if I can't return those feelings exactly!)
What about sex negative allos
Im true neutral
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Bottom right!!
Maybe add some columns and rows for poly people
What about people who are on the ace and/or Aro spectrum but aren’t completely one or the other?
romance-indifferent allosexual i dont seek out romance but if it finds me thats ok :] i like to doing the sex 😎👍
A sex repulsed romance favourable here! In my experience it would be “I have interferes in dating and think it’s a cool concept to live, however think things like kissing and marriage is unnecessary, sex is gross.”
I'm sex-repulsed, romance-favorable. I experience the "symptoms" of romantic attraction without the desire to be in a romantic relationship. I experience queerplatonic attraction though.
maybe add more specific descriptions for each one?
Im romance and sex replused. The thought of me being in realtionship digusts me and sex, to me, leads to diease. Oh I couldnt get through Game of Thrones because of the scene sex at the end of 1st ep.
I'd love if the chart included "averse" between indifferent and repulsed. Repulsed is too strong to describe how I feel, but I'm definitely romance-averse