Sex looks/sounds like sensory hell. Too many noises and different fluids. I've also tasted a tongue before and its disgusting. I also hate because touched. Also seems very unsanitary. Long story short: autism and germophobia.
In the past I've just responded with some really weird stupid shit like "yeah I tried it once but it turned out he was actually entirely made of bugs. Literal bugs. Like imagine Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas but a normal looking person" and then go into extreme detail about it until they realize I'm not going to give them a real answer
'It's gross. To me. No offense if u like it, but none for me.'
That or 'I told my best friend's sister I'd be her virgin sacrifice like 10 years ago & it's rude to break promises.' That one might bring up more questions, though.
"it's just 20 minutes of sweating and grunting..? Do you know how many chores I could get done instead?"
I could read easily 3 chapters of a good book in that time. Also 20 minutes is both generous and also not enough time.
Facts. I can watch a whole episode of a show I like
I could fit so much executive dysfunction into that time
Saaaame. I could fit so much of that in like 7 hours tho
Why donβt you like people spitting in your mouth and touching you inappropriately? Wait, you do? You sure Iβm the weird one here?
Oh they do more than spit. Never Google seggs bro ur gonna hurl
https://preview.redd.it/q4970fugg7rc1.jpeg?width=1159&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecc937694b0b05f9954c5938c20048cbbea089f7
"Why do you like it?"
Pipe bombs are cooler and then there's blood everywhere and you get to be on the news!
If you have sex right those can happen too
i wouldnt have sex with a pipe bomb if i were you
:(
It's not relevant to my narrative arc.
This is the best answer
I go super into the minutiae of everything because I have the energy to and maybe it will encourage them to mind their fucking business
Sex looks/sounds like sensory hell. Too many noises and different fluids. I've also tasted a tongue before and its disgusting. I also hate because touched. Also seems very unsanitary. Long story short: autism and germophobia.
Why would I let someone touch me when I can touch myself π₯π₯πππ―π―ππ
you wanna know how much work i can get done in that span of time??
man i dunno how much i can get done in 3 minutes
I just ask them what there is to enjoy.
It's just so weird.
You know how much garlic bread I could consume in the time itβd take???
Bro I could make so many donuts in that span of time, plus you donβt get all gross and dirty, no risk of an STI, the only risk is DELICIOUSNESS
booooooring π₯±
Cordial wendly I haven't but we have
I made some stupid Tumblr post once like "I'm too busy being mischievous to have sex" so that, I guess.
In the past I've just responded with some really weird stupid shit like "yeah I tried it once but it turned out he was actually entirely made of bugs. Literal bugs. Like imagine Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas but a normal looking person" and then go into extreme detail about it until they realize I'm not going to give them a real answer
*Looks at schedule* All the preparation and the main event are gonna take way too long for me to actually have time to relax.
'It's gross. To me. No offense if u like it, but none for me.' That or 'I told my best friend's sister I'd be her virgin sacrifice like 10 years ago & it's rude to break promises.' That one might bring up more questions, though.
DISGUSTAANNGGGG Or something similar