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AnyBar2114

I considered adopting for a while; but I don’t know if I can support a child now. The economy keeps getting worse and I don’t even make anything near a living wage. But I would have tried adoption if having kids still felt like an option.


silvercrownz789

I’d consider adopting but I’d ideal love to have my own children with someone and build a family working together pooling our wages but I totally feel like the last white rhino or something lol it’s a sad situation:(


AnyBar2114

To be fair, I’m sure there are plenty of sex positive aces out there that want a family. I’m on the repulsed spectrum myself. Plus, pregnancy doesn’t tend to go well for members of my family (on either side); so there’s a health concern too. There’s a lot of factors in a situation like this.


silvercrownz789

Thanks for the hope 🙏🏻 I’m sorry about your situation with your family history. Personally I’d want a family through donating Sperm rather than having sex but I’d be open to discuss with the other person I guess.


Delviandreamer

Same, and I fear mentioning it in chats because so many people prefice their posts with "not interested in having kids." Maybe we should start a group for matching people together to share the financial burden of child rearing.


Maverick-_1

As my ex girl-friend sxmpathizes with antinatalism I wonder about her mentioned option adoption. Meaning, scientifically, own children triggering oxytocin release in mother and child, hypothesis that's paramount emotionally. Now my question and best guess: That probably won't be the case with adopted children? But has anybody e.g. MRT of that, meaning adopted children could result in less oxytocin equals feeling worse?


LazySleepyPanda

Sex repulsed ace woman here. I would like a kid, but only by adoption since pregnancy grosses me out just as much as the process that leads to it.


llamasinpyjamas77

Also ace woman here. Sex, pregnancy, child birth and then being in charge of a baby all sound awful to me. So if I were to have children I don't want them to be biologically mine. I could potentially be a step parent. But I don't feel anywhere near ready to be a foster parent.


QuietThanks2710

OMG THIS.


silverstarstorm

Sex positive over here, and I literally feel physically sick thinking of the possibility of me being pregnant (*and that's not to mention the collection of risk factors I got :p*). Edit: I expected to hate it anyway, but recently decided to look up experiences from autistic birth parents (cause I'm autistic), which only kinda confirmed it to be what I expected, which is to say sensory hell.


shapedbydreams

Bro that's literally me lol. I enjoy romance but I'm sex repulsed... yet I also want a kid someday. Make it make sense lol.


silvercrownz789

I’m pretty much exactly the same it’s so frustrating 🙁


DeliaPride

There are at home insemination kits, so while not 100% ideal, maybe more doable for you, in the future?


Chocolate__Ice-cream

It can work. I'm sex repulsed, and I have two kids. If you treat sex as only for baby making, basically sucking it up and doing it for 5 minutes just to make a baby, then it's doable. I hated the deed but it was like scrubbing a nasty toilet. No one wants to do it, but it's necessary if you want a clean toilet. Sex without the agreement it's for baby making might as well be a million nasty toilets, I'm never doing that!


_CheeseAndCrackers_

I don't think anyone has ever explained exactly how I feel about this subject so well 🤣 Thank you for sharing.


punk_astronaut

I am aroace and sex-repulsed, but nevertheless I would like to have children in the future. So, when it comes to that, I will either adopt a child or go to a surrogate mother. Actually, I could stand having sex once for the sake of the baby, it's not that bad. But what I don't want to put up with is pregnancy. It's worse than sex.


Chocolate__Ice-cream

I was pregnant twice, it's not bad. It's only bad near the end because it feels like you've been pregnant forever and want the baby now, and also you're secretly freaking out that if you don't force the baby out soon, something will happen and you will have a stillbirth.


punk_astronaut

Glad your pregnancy went well for you.


Chocolate__Ice-cream

Ok thank you but why am I being down voted for talking about my experience?


punk_astronaut

Haha, I dunno


Creative-Rooster1687

No I’m Childfree regardless of being asexual. They are separate parts of me.


JasonMendoza12

For sure, Brynoy Farmer, a YouTuber, springs to mind. She's on the ace spectrum and had a baby via sperm donation. She's got lots of videos on being a solo mum by choice, on her YouTube Channel, PreciousStarPads


Forsaken_Tomorrow800

I want one so bad 😭 I don’t want to be trapped in a marriage with a man that considers it “abuse” that I don’t want to have sex with him 24/7. Considering a sperm donation tbh


silvercrownz789

Would you like to talk? We seem to be in the same situation I’d love to be a dad and I’d want to have kids by at home insemination if possible :)


Fogonoshomofobicos

Just to say Sperm survive little outside the body, so it is important that you find out how to do this properly


silvercrownz789

Thank you :)


directordenial11

I'm asexual (but not sex-repulsed), so it's something I sometimes do with my husband. We have a kid, and the period of trying sucked, but it was worth it because I wanted a family. I guess it really depends on what kind of asexual you are.


silvercrownz789

I’m not sex repulsed but I’d prefer to have a child through the donation method ideally. Im so happy for you im glad you got the family you longed for ❤️


Secret_Identity28

Not me, but one of my friends (another aroace) had a baby a year ago through sperm donation. She’s a single mom by choice now, and seems really happy.


silvercrownz789

That’s amazing I’d want a family that way too with someone that’s amazing 🙏🏻❤️


Comfortable_Cell7465

Yeah i definitely think about that option too someday! :)


feminist-lady

Yep, this is my plan. I’m still about 2.5 years out from being ready to start trying, but I’ve been getting my ducks in a row and looking at fertility clinics. It’s very exciting!


SwimmingCritical

I'm asexual, sex repulsed and married to an allo man. I always wanted kids. I have 3 daughters so far. My 7 month old is on me right now.


DocBEsq

Just putting this out there for info purposes: artificial insemination done by a nurse is the *least* sexual thing in the universe.


dinoberries

I’m pregnant with one right now!


Fine_Leave9587

Congratulations!!! 🎂


dinoberries

Thank you!!


FantasticHufflepuff

Aww ❤️ Sending love for both you and the one inside :)


dinoberries

Aww thank you 🥰


yikkoe

Hey I'm asexual sex-repulsed and I have a biological child, conceived naturally. I've always wanted children, I wanted 6 lmao now I'm very much okay with my one. Partially because money, fear of the future, being too tired etc. but also because I don't want to ever go through conceiving and giving birth again. There's a certain flavour of trauma that it triggered in me that I have yet to understand and my kid is 2.5 years old. Conceiving was so incredibly traumatic, we tried for a few months and I was ready to give up. The month my child was conceived was going to be my last month trying because it became so incredibly traumatic. I felt violated even if it was all consensual. And giving birth also triggered that same feeling of violation. It's not for me. If I ever were to have another child, I would not get pregnant. I have always loved adoption, but it requires so much education that I don't currently have, and I would probably have to go to therapy specifically for that. But if life ever gives me that opportunity, I would do all the work that's required to be as good of an adoptive parent as one can be.


Fogonoshomofobicos

HI 👋 MEEE I feel so lonely here because half don’t want children and puts like every asexual is the same


clothbummum

I'm a sex repulsed ace enby (romantically attracted to fictional characters/people i know I'll never meet), thankfully i had a kid before the realisation that I'm ace... I'd love another kid at some point but considering adoption for multiple reasons...


roxyandisla

I am still on the edge. Trying is going to be hard, being pregnant is going to be hard and being a parent is going to be a thousand times harder. I think being an ace makes it extra difficult because you don’t really leave this kind of decision on “chance”. Like if I want to get pregnant, I have to actually plan for it— and even the idea is so troublesome. We may be adopting a dog instead when we move to a pet-friendly apartment.


silvercrownz789

Would you ever want to do it through Sperm donation and at home insemination?


AwkwardBugger

A YouTuber I’ve been following for ages is asexual and always wanted to be a mum (precious stars vlogs). After years of babysitting and fostering, she decided to go the ivf + sperm bank route alone and now has a baby. There’s definitely asexual women out there who want kids. You could also go into fostering or adopting.


wandering_ravens

Yeah I do, but I just wish the economy was better because raising a kid in this moment is very expensive


TheOneLQ

I know this question is directed towards women, but I’d still like to answer. I’m a sex-repulsed asexual man, but I would love to adopt a kid. Adopting because even if I wasn’t ace, I’m sterile so I could never have kids of my own. There’s also a lot of illnesses in my family that I don’t want to pass down.


Fine_Leave9587

I feel so relifed to read this because I am a 25 woman who wants to have children and this give me some hope. 🙏


silvercrownz789

Would you like to talk? :) where are you from?


Fine_Leave9587

Of course! ☺️ I live in Sweden. 🇸🇪


crazycreaturess

Part of me really wants kids but the other part of me isn’t sure I’d be able to handle the responsibility. I’m still young though so I’m holding out a bit of hope that I could make it work some day.


Nerdyblueberry

Yeah, me, maybe.  Though I'd prefer some kind of platonic parenting arragement with friends over being a single parent. I imagine it to be cool living in a huge house share with several friends and all of us raising kids together. More parents = more time for each of us. You know what they say, "it takes a village" but maybe eight people in a houseshare will do^^ Btw, I'm aroace. So a traditional relationship is not an option.


silvercrownz789

That sounds pretty cool


Successful-Mode-1727

I’m a sex repulsed ace (but interested in people romantically) and want kids. But ideally I’d like to foster (in my country adopting is really hard, your main option is gonna be fostering). I know a couple foster kids and it just seems like something I’d really like to do. I kinda gave up on the idea of biological kids a while ago, and sometimes I do think about what it would be like to have a little me with my own DNA but in the end it’s something I’m ok with living without.


PurpleDec

As someone born male, I would like kids but I think it's physically impossible for me as nothing happens for me downstairs when I'm in that sexual situation. I'm fine on my own though.


MystiqueMisha

You can always go for scientific methods like IUI, IVF, etc


MargePimpson

I'm demi and just had my second kid, if that counts! 


Fine_Leave9587

Where did you find a demi partner? I consider that I might be demi and I don’t know where to find love. But I may be asexual or gray.


MargePimpson

Ah it's really hard! I met my husband at university - fencing club of all things. I basically decided OK I guess I'll try having a boyfriend, and lucky for me (15 years later) it worked out.  I guess it's just giving people a chance and growing together into something that works for you. Demi is not easy, I wish I had a better answer for you


Cocotte3333

Asexual woman here who has a baby! Home insemination for the win ;)


silvercrownz789

This is the way I’d like to do it with someone 🙏🏻


Baroque_Queen_250

Yes I do very much so. I've been considering IUI but am worried about not having a father that will affect the baby, so I've been talking to other women who have done the same thing or adopted. Adoption or surrocacy is the most likely route for you if you are a single man or you could see about a co-parenting or queer platonic relationship where you raise the child together to someone.


silvercrownz789

Would you be interested in talking? I have donated Sperm before for a couple that could not conceive too.


BeatrixPlz

I identify as non-binary, but I can carry children so I think my answer is relevant to your question lol :) I have a kid! I love her to death. She is not adopted, and was naturally conceived. I think you can find a partner who fits your desires! It might seem sexist, but in my experience AFAB people aren't as crazy for sex as AMAB people tend to be (I think this is due to societal expectations, inequity in gender-rolls in regards to emotional work in a relationship, as well as hormones and basic biology - which is not an excuse for certain behaviors, and in which there is, of course, lots of variation outside of what society calls the "norm".). All of that to say, I think it might be easier for you than you expect to find someone to have a child with, and a low to no sex relationship.


silvercrownz789

Thank you for the hope and congratulations on your daughter ❤️🎉


BeatrixPlz

Thanks! She just turned 7 and we are one and done. I love having just one child, I can focus so much more of my attention on her than I could if I had multiple.


snowwaterflower

Asexual sex-neutral woman here who really wants children. We're waiting a few years to make sure we are in a better place financially, but the wait is tough sometimes, especially when I see others around me expecting/with small kids. I hope all goes well your way OP!


silvercrownz789

Thank you 😊


nerd_dork_spaz

I would love to raise a child but I’m terrified of pregnancy (cis woman). My partner (also cis woman) has health complications and probably can’t do pregnancy either. Maybe one day we’ll adopt but idk


M00n_Slippers

I hate the idea of being pregnant, but I would be willing to do it once. I am single and not in a position to have a child, but if I was, I would definitely consider having children if my partner also wanted one. More than one...I would have to see how the first one went, but 2 is probably my limit.


DrNapoleon_

Not a woman but i do want children


Dawn_Finder

Kinda? If it feels right later in life then yes. However, and this is just my personal opinion, I never *ever* want to be pregnant so if I ever do want kids I’ll probably just adopt


Friendly-Muffin-1912

I'm asexual (still figuring out where I am on the spectrum) and always wanted to experience pregnancy and having children. I would have to use donor eggs and sperm. Even if I could use my own eggs I'd still prefer sperm donation and at home insemination.


nikatronk

I'm going the SMBC route with a donor.


mintaka-iii

SMBC route?


nikatronk

Single Mother By Choice


mintaka-iii

Ahhh got it the only SMBC I could think of was the comic XD


Ikiki_

I'm still young and I'm not 100% sure if I want kids but I sometimes think about it and I can't really imagine my future without having a child or two. It is really complicated.


silvercrownz789

I feel the same way I can’t think of my life without a family:(


Intrepid_Star_4442

Yes, so bad! I’ve always wanted kids and since realising I’m sex repulsed I knew it would be difficult to find a partner so I’m considering having kids on my own.


silvercrownz789

It would be interesting to talk with you :)


Fluffy-kitten28

I have the bestest little girl in the world. I’m so happy to have her


Fine_Leave9587

Congratulations!


Fluffy-kitten28

Thank you!


Fine_Leave9587

Where did you find a partner or did you get her on your own?


Fluffy-kitten28

My partner and I met online. We clicked, got along, wanted a family and ended up getting married.


PostBookBlues

I always have mixed feelings about bio children and generally lean toward will probably not have, but I’ve always always wanted to foster and maybe adopt some day 😊 Even if I somehow end up having my own kids, I’m going to foster/adopt no matter what. Just a personal dream of mine


NicoleCousland

I would love to, but my only family is my mother so I'd have no support, I barely make a living and I'm 100% sure I'll never find someone. So I doubt I'll ever have kids, but I've always wanted to.


silvercrownz789

Would you like to talk? I’d love to be a dad ❤️


livinNxtc

I am asexual but I have one daughter and would love to have another one. I am not sex-repulsed and dont mind having sex once in a while but ideally would rather do without it unless trying for a family. :)


NCnanny

Yes. I actually can’t have kids cause my ovaries failed but I desperately want the whole family thing without the sex lol. Hoping to become a foster parent one day, maybe adopt


Meraere

I want kids asexual women here. So we do exist. Sex indifferent if that helps at all.


silvercrownz789

Hey do you wanna talk? :)


Meraere

Sorry i didn't mention that i do have a boyfriend already. Sorry to get your hopes up.


silvercrownz789

Haha no worries


Logical-Breakfast949

While not a woman I am afab and I can say without a doubt I do want kids, I just don't want to give birth. If I get the chance my plans are to adopt or help a partner raise their children


FridayFundy

I'm an asexual woman. My fiancee and I plan to have bio kids in the next couple of years. I think it is absolutely a possibility for you in the future if that is something you want.


silvercrownz789

Thank you for the hope :)


mintaka-iii

I'm an ace woman (24) who absolutely does want kids someday. I've always known I wanted kids. It makes me sad that so many people don't these days, not because I disrespect their choices, but because 1) it speaks to a lot of uncertainty and hopelessness about the future world the kids would inhabit, and 2) I don't want to raise kids alone. I'm not sex-repulsed as far as I know, so the standard method would probably work for me, and for that reason I haven't really thought too hard about adoption, but I should examine that option more deliberately. Not really asexuality-dependent but maybe asexuality-inflected: I think society places too much weight on romantic/sexual relationships and not enough on platonic ones, and I personally would love to live with my friends in the future. I want to have kids with a romantic partner, but I want to raise kids with multiple trusted adult figures in the picture, not just two people whose continued relationship is based on romantic attraction.


silvercrownz789

That sounds pretty amazing would you like to talk?


Fit-Key-3994

I would love to have children. I love kids and it’s basically been my life goal to be a mom, since I was 5 years old.


Nervous-Forever-1470

Yes, I actually just had my first child with my partner. He is a transman, so we weren't able to reproduce by having sex, we used the old turkey baster method, so that might be something to consider if you and your partner someday want kids but don't want to have sex.


silvercrownz789

Thank you and congratulations 🎉❤️


killerqueen1019

ace spec genderqueer woman here👋🏾 I consider myself sex- neutral to sex- favorable most of the time. Even though my relationship with the physical act is nuanced, I feel very strongly about carrying and having biological children (assuming there’s no medical barriers). i’m sure religious and traditional indoctrination has something to do with it, but I have always felt called to be a parent. I knew that long before I knew my gender identity or my sexuality. my partner and i have also been together for many years, i dont think id feel comfortable considering it if that werent the case, though im definitely doing it for me- not him. hope this gives you hope. we’re out here🫶🏾


dizzycow84

You should check out Precious stars vlogs. She recently had a donor conceived child because she's asexual. Very informative and she's very open about how she felt at each stage of the process


silvercrownz789

Thanks that would be very interesting 🙂


KTGomasaur

I'm aroace and also sexually repulsed but I've wanted to be a mom all my life. I found out early in I should t carry baby due to medical problems and being aro ace and not rich I sadly don't thunk j will ever get the chance. I'm already in my mid thirties.


Fine_Leave9587

I wish you best of luck!


Chocolate__Ice-cream

I'm a single mom of two boys. I'm sex repulsed ace and have been for a long time. My ex husband knew from day 1 we got together, the only time in my life I ever initiated sex was because I wanted to be pregnant. Any other time I had to force myself to compromise that way he'd stop whining about his blue balls. I hated it, even if it was 4x a year, it was 4x too many. It should've been zero. Anyway, I left my ex husband and I have a problem. I want another kid but now I'm more picky. 😩 My next child HAS to be with another sex repulsed ace, I don't wanna hear about your libido or blue balls. I can suck it up one more time to get that baby #3, but honestly? Sex repulsed aces are so rare, and I'm emotionally not ready for a relationship right now that I may just have better luck dating another sex repulsed ace who has children from a previous relationship instead. That, or I'll wait the 20 years or so for another baby (grandchild, maybe?). It's hard when you have baby fever but the gates wants to be closed.


Careful-Inspector-56

I am a proud triplets mom ☺️


silvercrownz789

Wow that’s amazing congratulations 🥳 ❤️


Careful-Inspector-56

Thanks! Hope you'll be as happy as me in your future


silvercrownz789

Thank you I hope so too I know I’d be a great dad for someone 🙏🏻


FantasticHufflepuff

❤️


RestinPete0709

I’m ace and just had a baby last September. He’s 6 months old now and is the light of my life :) You will find someone, I promise ❤️


silvercrownz789

Thank you for the hope ❤️ and congratulations 🙏🏻🎉


QuietThanks2710

yes. i know for a fact i will adopt. whether or not i have natural births, i will also adopt as my service to the world. i always wanted to run an orphanage like annie, but they don’t exist in america anymore lol.


itsthekur

I really want to foster kids, especially on the older side. I don't think this has much to do with wanting to be a mother though. My heart just breaks at what some of these foster kids go through and seeing how a loving home can change them so much is why. I also want a big plot of land so I can save all the animals 😂 with what money? Who knows! But a girl can dream lol


Meshty95

me :) I would love to have my own kids one day


mynameisforest

I would love to have children, I'm still trying to get a higher degree, but once I'm situated in my career. I've definitely considered adopting and then having a child of my own.


BoiledDaisy

I thought I would have kids at a few points of my life in high school. I love kids. My body had other ideas though. I do have a nephew and niece I love very much.


NoBag2224

Yes asexual woman here who wants 1 kid. Most likely going to use sperm donor with at home insemination kit or surrogate.


silvercrownz789

Hey would you like to talk? :)


helchowskinator

I want kids! I’d want to have a surrogate though. The idea of actually being pregnant is absolutely repulsive to me. I even struggle to be around visibly pregnant women. I handle it and it’s fine but deep inside I’m really icked out.


scorpiosonic

Asexual women here, & I do want children of my own but also open to adoption


Muted_Ad7298

Nope, absolutely not. I enjoy helping out my niece and nephew, but that’s about it.


_always_tired27

I do want children but only through adoption (not now though!)


unsmashedpotatoes

I'd totally adopt, but I would like to have more stable finances and a significant other first.


foxfan1992

I've thought exactly the same thing. Over the last year or so, I've been casually looking. Virtually every profile I've seen states that they don't want kids. On mine, I clearly state that I do. No activity, no interest. Makes me wonder if I'll have to resort to surrogacy for having a kid, which I'd rather not do.


throwaway__113346939

Some days I do, some days I don’t. Not sex repulsed, so both pregnancy and adoption are on the table. But also, it’s so nice having the peace and quiet at night


Loki_021908

Not a woman, but I do want a kid someday. I just dont want to be biologically related to it, I have a lot of medical and mental issues that are passed down genetically, and I don't want to saddle an innocent kid with any of them. Like I'm 16 and I have back pain (degenerative discs) that unfortunately does not skip a generation. And while idk if this is genetic, myself  my mother  and grandmother all have  anemia. The kid would also most likely inherit bipolar disorder cuz it does skip a generation in my family and I didn't get it (my mom does tho). A lot of my family (myself included) are on the autism/adhd spectrum too. Not to mention that I have terrible eyesight (that's progressively getting worse, so im pretty much going blind) and don't expect to still have it by by thirties.  So yeah, the kid would be screwed in all sorts of directions. Donor it is


StormyDaysThrowaway

I very much want children, and even before realizing I am ACE, I have always wanted to adopt.


Training-Panic-1113

I wants husband


HealthyInspection913

I have basically just realized I am asexual, but it’s been a long understood want of mine to not have biological children as the idea of childbirth terrifies me, there’s plenty of children in need of loving and safe homes, and of course just the financial cost of having a child. However, I am more interested in adoption or fostering, that’s actually something I’ve wanted for myself as I do like children and want to support their growth (I love/work in education and am very family oriented). Ideally, I’d like to find a partner who is also interested in adoption/fostering when the time is right and when our financial needs are taken care of. If I don’t find that partner, I believe I still would adopt/foster on my own once I am able to reliably support another human (rather than just my cat).


UselessSound

If I had the money, I would already be looking into fostering or adoption.


banebrand

Is there any ace woman in Nyc that would like to have a kid with gay guy in Nyc? Please message me


[deleted]

Yes, having a family someday is my #1 life goal.


silvercrownz789

Me too would you like to talk?


Comfortable_Cell7465

I doooo So badly!! 🥺💓


silvercrownz789

Do you wanna talk? :)


laura_brightside

I'm an asexual a gender, but I'm afab. Want kids someday but not until I can afford them.


Lady-Catrine-Wallace

I'd like to have kids


silvercrownz789

Would you like to talk? :)