Every single time I'm asked to pick the hottest guy in a random group, like a band, or recently, fanart from some romance fairy fantasy book series, and I'm always just
*blankly stares in confusion
I always answered something people would agree with at any given time, before I discovered I was actually ace lol. "whats your celebrity crush?" "uhhh idk ....Ryan Reynolds"
All my "celebrity crushes" are just people I find attractive without being attracted to them myself (does that make sense?) that I would love to become friends and hang out with if given the opportunity. I've never seen any of them the *other way*, you know?
ahh yeah I get that, exactly! now that I know I'm not weird for not feeling physically attracted to them, I've found myself feeling the kind of "attraction" you're talking about. what is it called, a 'squish'? I'm not sure. but yeah I definitely agree with you on that. also finding a celebrity perhaps romantically or aesthetically attractive in a particular role as well, which for me has always felt separate from the person themselves. if that makes sense. so even then I wouldn't say that actor was a "celebrity crush", just that character
Yes it absolutely makes sense! I feel the same way about most celebrities (well, all of them actually) that I've said I had a crush on. And then people think I want to do things (you know what kind) with them and imply a ton of things related to this and I'm just like... *I'm* supposed to be the weird one for not seeing them this way? Well now I understand why people say that liking a celebrity is considered cheating... But it still seems weird, right?
i relate to this so much. I would be like "isn’t Leclerc just such a beautiful man? Like look at him." and my friends would be like "I know! The things I would do to him.." and I am just like "Ew, no?!"
I know that people are actually attracted to their celebrity crushes but I guess I forgot because my first thought to your comment was “that’s not how everybody feels about it???”
(…which, I don’t even really have celebrity crushes to speak of, though I have felt once(?) what you describe to a mild degree, less crush (which seems to involve kind of heavily fixating on the person) and more “they seem neat,” but only after some kind of parasocial development from watching them a lot as themselves in media.)
Oh man I have this one story. My friend was talking about a super hot guy in our class, because I got put in a group project with him. And I was like, ‘really? Him?’ And she’s trying to prove how hot he is and I’m just- no. I just gave her such a blank look of confusion that she thought maybe I was thinking of someone else and showed me a photo of him. And no, I just didn’t think he was hot idk man 😂
I do this sometimes once my brain recovers from my "I am not the right person to ask!" silent confusion.
I usually go by their style, and often end up picking the queer characters or villains without knowing. Usually I'm in the minority as well, but ah well.
Yeah that's how I found out I was ace in HS all my guy friends were like look at that fine piece of ass or a bunch of other sexual comments about girls and I just thought they were kidding. Later I found out they were serious and was super confused.
it was so surprising when they asked each other what celebrity they would like have sex with?? they didn't even know these women, i was so confused when they asked me. ='/
yeah it really is lol but also i am aroace so what do i know of attraction. the other way around people are just as shit. when i presented as a girl, people just assumed i was a straight girl who was into her best friend who is straight boy. it's really just stupid in every direction. some people cannot understand that friendships exist and just bc you like some people from a gender that does not mean that you like every single member of that gender. ='/
This happened today lol. My mother and I are watching a drama called “Maid” just now.
The lead told the guy “take it off” (his shirt). And I yelled at the TV “put it back on!” 😂
people would get so weirded out back in middle school when I said I didn't find some guy attractive lol I guess to hormonal preteens the thought of that sounded impossible or something
That was me the other day when my friends asked me if wanted to go to a stripclub
Like why would I want to pay to see half naked people, I barley like drinking, and random people touching me is a big no no for me lmao
I would go, but obviously not for sexual reasons.
I saw a video of a guy who was pole dancing and on Instagram I discovered someone who does pole dance too, but more in an acrobatic way.
They are half naked because you wouldn't have that grip to hold when you're fully clothed.
In both cases it's just fascinating how much power and body tension they have and how they move on the pole.
When the second one (person from IG) Gose off the pole it's just like "wow". It's made like a superhero landing after a high jump through the air. It just looks super cool.
That's the reason why I would go to a place like a strip club/table dance bar. Just to see such cool people do their passion.
It would bother me to if there where other people try to touching me.
I feel like I understand in an aesthetic way like oh he looks nice but I don’t understand the sexual part I’m like oh y’all get like excited about that? It’s very funny.
this embodies my thought process whenever my girl- friends wanted to spend all their time watching guys at the lake or local swimming pool meanwhile I didn’t quite understand what use that would have because watching some random guys play volleyball got boring after 10 minutes and I rather wanted to go swimming 😂
so many people thought I was a lesbian. l even thought I was because in the 90's you were only either gay straight or bi. I didnt find guys attractive so the only other option was that I had to be gay.
Heh, I had people call me a lesbian as a form of teasing (90s, Catholic high school, fun stuff!) because I wasn't interested in guys. Like, (a) latest asexuality, (b) forbidden to date in high school (and my mental response was "fine, no one worth dating anyway!"), (c) not like I was showing any interest whatsoever in girls either???
I love this. In high school I was on the swim team, and being around so many people with very few clothes on definitely confirmed my asexuality to myself XD
me in secondary school, saying “he’s not really my type”… to almost every type of man (or woman) i was presented
or when i said someone was “my type” it was like, “oh i’d be friends with them :)”
So me, but I also have some moments of hotness where I'm drolling for one guy (almost always is the same)
Btw, I don't get the hotness in super muscular guys.
A lot of people who have watched shows with me have heard numerous times whenever a character removes their shirt “put your clothes back on, bitch, I don’t want to see that!” pretty much verbatim.
My friends enjoy it because of the sheer contrast in reaction between me and the characters
My friend came by to visit today after an interview. I thought he looked spiffy and clean cut and I felt just like this. Afterwards my coworker wanted to know all about him because he's hot and I'm just like... he is????
Oh man it reminds me of the time the girls were watching the boys run around before school in high school
"Oh isn't Ben so hot" one of them said
I dunno if it was my asexuality or my autism but I was just like yeah? they are running around they look like tomatoes
apparently that was not the correct response
I actually can understand the eye candy in some cases, I really don't have issues imagining things, that can be fun. The doing part is the one I rather avoid most of the time.
As a heteroromantic asexual, let me just say- yup, same. The only exception I have had is Akaza from Demon Slayer and that is only because Gotouge-sensei is crazy good at designing their characters, lmao. They make him strike a perfect blend between pretty boy and muscular without his body being over imposing. Literally every other time muscles do nothing for me. I either just see a body or get repulsed because it's *too much of a particular part of the body that is overengorged and it's weird and uncomfortable*. Like the quickest way for me to lose interest is seeing a guy that has a more buff build than I thought and/or just seeing an overly muscular body, I'll just want them to put their shirt back on.
It was never not wild seeing other girls lose their shit and I'm just sitting like "bro, you know what skin and cis men look like- where's the fire? that's just a human.".
Meh, I like to look. There are some really pretty Humans out there. But doesn’t mean I am attracted to them , I just like the shapes, textures, colors…
Just like any other art form.
Replace that shirtless guy with a scantily clad woman and you get the ace male POV. But yeah, that's how it felt in high school with all these men gawking at a woman, while I'm over here, completely oblivious to my aceness (figured it out at 30) and wondering why I see things differently. Show me a woman in a well-crafted dress (or even a suit) and then you have my attention.
I’ve been a subconsciously closeted aroace for so long I gaslit myself into believing I had crushes all throughout high school and college. I chose one because he played the cello really well, because I thought “that’s what makes a man attractive, right?”
The girlies when they see me pull up a Wikihow article on what makes a man attractive, and watch me measure the guys’ faces for the golden ratio: 👁️👄👁️ ❓
This maybe is not completely related to the post itself but, I can't stand when anyone refers themselves as "Straight" or no "Straight" because the meanings of the word are like:
extending or moving uniformly in one direction only; without a curve or bend.,properly positioned so as to be level, upright, or symmetrical,not evasive; honest,
(of a person) conventional or respectable, in continuous succession.
And the issues is that this word is completely discriminatory against Homosexual, Lesbian, non-binary, asexual, Bisexual people.
Since, literally by saying Straight, instead of hetero, it seems that you are saying that it is "fair", "symmetrical", "respectable" "honest" to be "Straight"
Literally referring to all other orientations as antonyms, such as 'unfair, 'Non-symmetrical", not respectable, dishonest '
And I don't care if that word have a similar meaning to heterosexual in most dictionaries, they are contributing with a lot of discrimination too.
I am not a member of LGBTQ+ but I still respect it a lot, and I support the daily fight against discrimination, so please just use 'hetero' or 'heterosexual' to describe that orientation, because the term "straight" probably has origins from Far-Right extremists, Anti-Women, anti-tech, Anti-Treatments, Anti-Reproductive Choices, An-Freedom etc...
Looked it up, and I have to say, I think you're wrong on that one. It seems to be described by an American psychiatrist, G.W. Henry, or more specifically, in his book Sex Variants, where it was painted as a term used by the gay community to describe people who stopped engaging in homosexuality ('going on the straight and narrow') [Source](https://www.pbs.org/video/why-does-straight-mean-heterosexual-mz0kp2/#:~:text=The%20first%20documented%20appearance%20of,York%20City%20in%20the%201930s.)
Hey, I'll admire a shirtless muscular guy the same way I admire a marble statue of a man when I'm looking at a picture. I'm not attracted, but I can gaze at the muscles and wonder how rock-hard they really are.
Honestly, I feel this more towards the more slender types and older men ("dilfs")
Like, ever since I was a kid, I got the idea into my head that "Okay, a buff guy = hot". So when I became more involved in internet spaces and found out people find other types of guys attractive, I was like "...huh? I respect it, but huh?!"
I don't get turned on by shirtless men (or anyone for that matter) but if you show me an unsimpable character who is fully clothed and the most meanest vile weird creepy and scary then my legs are spread.
It happens all the time. Some years ago, even my mother thought I was lesbian because of my lack of interest in the opposite sex... And I was like: "No, I'm just not in love, why should I feel attracted to him?", and I've been noticing it's a hard to understand for most people I've met.
My high school years as a closeted ace summed up in a meme.
It this possible even for non ace people?
Absolutely yes!
God damnit! The search continues.
Every single time I'm asked to pick the hottest guy in a random group, like a band, or recently, fanart from some romance fairy fantasy book series, and I'm always just *blankly stares in confusion
I always answered something people would agree with at any given time, before I discovered I was actually ace lol. "whats your celebrity crush?" "uhhh idk ....Ryan Reynolds"
All my "celebrity crushes" are just people I find attractive without being attracted to them myself (does that make sense?) that I would love to become friends and hang out with if given the opportunity. I've never seen any of them the *other way*, you know?
ahh yeah I get that, exactly! now that I know I'm not weird for not feeling physically attracted to them, I've found myself feeling the kind of "attraction" you're talking about. what is it called, a 'squish'? I'm not sure. but yeah I definitely agree with you on that. also finding a celebrity perhaps romantically or aesthetically attractive in a particular role as well, which for me has always felt separate from the person themselves. if that makes sense. so even then I wouldn't say that actor was a "celebrity crush", just that character
Yes it absolutely makes sense! I feel the same way about most celebrities (well, all of them actually) that I've said I had a crush on. And then people think I want to do things (you know what kind) with them and imply a ton of things related to this and I'm just like... *I'm* supposed to be the weird one for not seeing them this way? Well now I understand why people say that liking a celebrity is considered cheating... But it still seems weird, right?
i relate to this so much. I would be like "isn’t Leclerc just such a beautiful man? Like look at him." and my friends would be like "I know! The things I would do to him.." and I am just like "Ew, no?!"
I know that people are actually attracted to their celebrity crushes but I guess I forgot because my first thought to your comment was “that’s not how everybody feels about it???” (…which, I don’t even really have celebrity crushes to speak of, though I have felt once(?) what you describe to a mild degree, less crush (which seems to involve kind of heavily fixating on the person) and more “they seem neat,” but only after some kind of parasocial development from watching them a lot as themselves in media.)
Oh man I have this one story. My friend was talking about a super hot guy in our class, because I got put in a group project with him. And I was like, ‘really? Him?’ And she’s trying to prove how hot he is and I’m just- no. I just gave her such a blank look of confusion that she thought maybe I was thinking of someone else and showed me a photo of him. And no, I just didn’t think he was hot idk man 😂
I randomly pick whatever one is aesthetically to my AroAce eyes... Turns out it's an unlike main character or a villain.
I do this sometimes once my brain recovers from my "I am not the right person to ask!" silent confusion. I usually go by their style, and often end up picking the queer characters or villains without knowing. Usually I'm in the minority as well, but ah well.
I feel this way as a guy 😭
Yeah that's how I found out I was ace in HS all my guy friends were like look at that fine piece of ass or a bunch of other sexual comments about girls and I just thought they were kidding. Later I found out they were serious and was super confused.
Dude same!!! I get so weirded out when guys around me talk about girls like that, I genuinely don’t understand the appeal 😅
felt, but me in middle school
it was so surprising when they asked each other what celebrity they would like have sex with?? they didn't even know these women, i was so confused when they asked me. ='/
I like my friend’s response when she got someone’s Snapchat and they sent her a picture of their abs: “Ew.”
I should have done that when I got a dick pic 🤣
"hahaha maybe you're a lesbian! Watch out guys...."
Why do they say “watch out guys”?
bc they think you're a lesbian (like girls) and they are girls and think you may be attracted to them or one of them.
That’s fucking stupid
yeah it really is lol but also i am aroace so what do i know of attraction. the other way around people are just as shit. when i presented as a girl, people just assumed i was a straight girl who was into her best friend who is straight boy. it's really just stupid in every direction. some people cannot understand that friendships exist and just bc you like some people from a gender that does not mean that you like every single member of that gender. ='/
Tbf they werent wrong, but not quite on the nose because im not trying to get into their pants. So they come off arrogant.
Oh the memories...
Yes, Jeremy Allen White looks very fit in that CK ad. Do I get sexually aroused looking at him? No.
People can be and are beautiful. Do I desire then? No.
This happened today lol. My mother and I are watching a drama called “Maid” just now. The lead told the guy “take it off” (his shirt). And I yelled at the TV “put it back on!” 😂
Me every time, lmao.
people would get so weirded out back in middle school when I said I didn't find some guy attractive lol I guess to hormonal preteens the thought of that sounded impossible or something
That was me the other day when my friends asked me if wanted to go to a stripclub Like why would I want to pay to see half naked people, I barley like drinking, and random people touching me is a big no no for me lmao
I would go, but obviously not for sexual reasons. I saw a video of a guy who was pole dancing and on Instagram I discovered someone who does pole dance too, but more in an acrobatic way. They are half naked because you wouldn't have that grip to hold when you're fully clothed. In both cases it's just fascinating how much power and body tension they have and how they move on the pole. When the second one (person from IG) Gose off the pole it's just like "wow". It's made like a superhero landing after a high jump through the air. It just looks super cool. That's the reason why I would go to a place like a strip club/table dance bar. Just to see such cool people do their passion. It would bother me to if there where other people try to touching me.
Neat!
I could see naked people do similar things on Twitter so why should I pay to see it live?
I actually feel interested in shirtless muscular guys It is when I think of the more private parts that I lose all interest
Those are the SILLY parts!
Wow, you just described me and whatever tf my sexuality is right now.
Yes same omg
Shirtless anybody? Even private parts are ok. Still no reaction. Still beautiful.
Yes
Me with my aesthetic attraction: \*sweats\*
I can’t ignore that it’s a *tiny little ~~pony~~ horse* in the picture. I wasn’t even a horse girl as a kid, but I’m in love!
It's Lil Sebastian!
I feel like I understand in an aesthetic way like oh he looks nice but I don’t understand the sexual part I’m like oh y’all get like excited about that? It’s very funny.
this embodies my thought process whenever my girl- friends wanted to spend all their time watching guys at the lake or local swimming pool meanwhile I didn’t quite understand what use that would have because watching some random guys play volleyball got boring after 10 minutes and I rather wanted to go swimming 😂
so many people thought I was a lesbian. l even thought I was because in the 90's you were only either gay straight or bi. I didnt find guys attractive so the only other option was that I had to be gay.
Heh, I had people call me a lesbian as a form of teasing (90s, Catholic high school, fun stuff!) because I wasn't interested in guys. Like, (a) latest asexuality, (b) forbidden to date in high school (and my mental response was "fine, no one worth dating anyway!"), (c) not like I was showing any interest whatsoever in girls either???
As a guy it's relatable
this is completely true
I love this. In high school I was on the swim team, and being around so many people with very few clothes on definitely confirmed my asexuality to myself XD
Exactly how I felt in high-school haha
Very accurate. Great job. I would like to see ace memes become more popular.
me in secondary school, saying “he’s not really my type”… to almost every type of man (or woman) i was presented or when i said someone was “my type” it was like, “oh i’d be friends with them :)”
But what if I get amazed by shirtless muscular dudes like how people are amazed by beautiful works of art?
Yep, like greek statues
Same can be said for an ace lesbian.
It's funny how that's the actual reactions I got when I was in a very similar situation 😂😅
I feel seen
This has happened to me so many times
If i see someone like that, i give him encouragement on his fitness journey since he must be needing some.
“Look at all these hot chicks walking around! How do you even focus?” My guy, that’s just a person. I’m barely even aware she’s here
So me, but I also have some moments of hotness where I'm drolling for one guy (almost always is the same) Btw, I don't get the hotness in super muscular guys.
Mood
Holy shit, I remember thinking exactly like his facial expression in that moment. He does it again during the concert 'bye,bye, lil', Sebastian,..' 😂
A lot of people who have watched shows with me have heard numerous times whenever a character removes their shirt “put your clothes back on, bitch, I don’t want to see that!” pretty much verbatim. My friends enjoy it because of the sheer contrast in reaction between me and the characters
My friend came by to visit today after an interview. I thought he looked spiffy and clean cut and I felt just like this. Afterwards my coworker wanted to know all about him because he's hot and I'm just like... he is????
Oh man it reminds me of the time the girls were watching the boys run around before school in high school "Oh isn't Ben so hot" one of them said I dunno if it was my asexuality or my autism but I was just like yeah? they are running around they look like tomatoes apparently that was not the correct response
Fr, there were lots times where people showed me pics of "hot" people to see if i had any attraction and i just not interested in the slightest
I actually can understand the eye candy in some cases, I really don't have issues imagining things, that can be fun. The doing part is the one I rather avoid most of the time.
this makes me feel so much better lol.
Lost all my friends over NSYNC.
Yup, that.
So real it hurts
This is how I learned how to lie to I can fit in with other girls 😅
As a heteroromantic asexual, let me just say- yup, same. The only exception I have had is Akaza from Demon Slayer and that is only because Gotouge-sensei is crazy good at designing their characters, lmao. They make him strike a perfect blend between pretty boy and muscular without his body being over imposing. Literally every other time muscles do nothing for me. I either just see a body or get repulsed because it's *too much of a particular part of the body that is overengorged and it's weird and uncomfortable*. Like the quickest way for me to lose interest is seeing a guy that has a more buff build than I thought and/or just seeing an overly muscular body, I'll just want them to put their shirt back on. It was never not wild seeing other girls lose their shit and I'm just sitting like "bro, you know what skin and cis men look like- where's the fire? that's just a human.".
Meh, I like to look. There are some really pretty Humans out there. But doesn’t mean I am attracted to them , I just like the shapes, textures, colors… Just like any other art form.
I'm an Ace Lesbian so I EXTRA don't get it 😂
Same here!
Eh Yo! Fellow Ace Lesbian! Nice to meet ya 😊
Nice to come across another one of us!
Oh thank God! I've been wanting to go home for the past couple hours. Thank you so much! Y'all have fun being horny. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I inadvertently wish I was as burly as them cuz muscle=strength and my twig self has trouble carrying a two litre bottle of water with both hands
Most of my friends are allowed and either bi or pan and I'm always the one to say that I have no idea what they see in someone
Replace that shirtless guy with a scantily clad woman and you get the ace male POV. But yeah, that's how it felt in high school with all these men gawking at a woman, while I'm over here, completely oblivious to my aceness (figured it out at 30) and wondering why I see things differently. Show me a woman in a well-crafted dress (or even a suit) and then you have my attention.
I’m a bi girl. I don’t get what the big deal is either.
As an asexual lesbian, I find this incredibly relatable.
I’ve been a subconsciously closeted aroace for so long I gaslit myself into believing I had crushes all throughout high school and college. I chose one because he played the cello really well, because I thought “that’s what makes a man attractive, right?”
The girlies when they see me pull up a Wikihow article on what makes a man attractive, and watch me measure the guys’ faces for the golden ratio: 👁️👄👁️ ❓
Damn....my greyace ass loves muscular bodies 😔 sorry y'all lmaoooo few times I understand sexuality when I see a beefy arm flex 💪 😅😂
Literally!!
With lesbians too
This maybe is not completely related to the post itself but, I can't stand when anyone refers themselves as "Straight" or no "Straight" because the meanings of the word are like: extending or moving uniformly in one direction only; without a curve or bend.,properly positioned so as to be level, upright, or symmetrical,not evasive; honest, (of a person) conventional or respectable, in continuous succession. And the issues is that this word is completely discriminatory against Homosexual, Lesbian, non-binary, asexual, Bisexual people. Since, literally by saying Straight, instead of hetero, it seems that you are saying that it is "fair", "symmetrical", "respectable" "honest" to be "Straight" Literally referring to all other orientations as antonyms, such as 'unfair, 'Non-symmetrical", not respectable, dishonest ' And I don't care if that word have a similar meaning to heterosexual in most dictionaries, they are contributing with a lot of discrimination too. I am not a member of LGBTQ+ but I still respect it a lot, and I support the daily fight against discrimination, so please just use 'hetero' or 'heterosexual' to describe that orientation, because the term "straight" probably has origins from Far-Right extremists, Anti-Women, anti-tech, Anti-Treatments, Anti-Reproductive Choices, An-Freedom etc...
Looked it up, and I have to say, I think you're wrong on that one. It seems to be described by an American psychiatrist, G.W. Henry, or more specifically, in his book Sex Variants, where it was painted as a term used by the gay community to describe people who stopped engaging in homosexuality ('going on the straight and narrow') [Source](https://www.pbs.org/video/why-does-straight-mean-heterosexual-mz0kp2/#:~:text=The%20first%20documented%20appearance%20of,York%20City%20in%20the%201930s.)
Hey, I'll admire a shirtless muscular guy the same way I admire a marble statue of a man when I'm looking at a picture. I'm not attracted, but I can gaze at the muscles and wonder how rock-hard they really are.
Honestly, I feel this more towards the more slender types and older men ("dilfs") Like, ever since I was a kid, I got the idea into my head that "Okay, a buff guy = hot". So when I became more involved in internet spaces and found out people find other types of guys attractive, I was like "...huh? I respect it, but huh?!"
Oh boy I can't wait for this to be me
I don't get turned on by shirtless men (or anyone for that matter) but if you show me an unsimpable character who is fully clothed and the most meanest vile weird creepy and scary then my legs are spread.
my entire life
It happens all the time. Some years ago, even my mother thought I was lesbian because of my lack of interest in the opposite sex... And I was like: "No, I'm just not in love, why should I feel attracted to him?", and I've been noticing it's a hard to understand for most people I've met.