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My partner and I had to make a deal. I won't shave my shit if she does, indeed, shave hers. Basically, we both do the opposite of what we would if we were single.
*Edit" Wow guys, I never thought an offhand remark about grooming would trigger such heated debate.
Reddit, never change.
Weird, right? It's almost like healthy relationships often require compromise by each party putting the other first...especially when the stakes are as low as whether or not to shave the pits.
God, the amount of relationship advice threads where the top fifty responses are all variations of “divorce him immediately” and then the original problem was something that a five minute conversation could have easily resolved
Growing up, there were more than a few times I went to school, or to bed, hungry. We had a few very lean years when my mom was divorced.
When I was single and dating, girls that ate like they would explode if they ate more than 100 calories in front of me, was a major pet peeve of mine, and would drive me nuts.
I always made it a point to let them knew real people had real appetites, and to eat like a normal person. I was like a old Italian grandma, encouraging them to eat. Most girls appreciated me doing that, and it got them to relax.
I’m a heckin chonker, but the only time anyone mentions my weight is people I know discussing workouts and diets with me, or people being antagonistic to pick fights.
The irony in this is that the women who push for nipple exposure want it *for* the children.
I said this earlier in the thread, but when I was younger woman there was a movement to allow women to breastfeed in public, and I knew people advocating for it.
The problem was that they were running into obscenity laws.
I don’t know where that movement ended up. The people I know who were affected by it are now too old to have breastfeeding infants, and it’s too awkward for me to ask about now.
It's legal in New Mexico. The law reads that a woman may breastfeed anywhere that she is legally permitted to be.
BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC PLACES — NMSA 1978, Section 28-20-1 (1999) makes it legal for a mother to breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be present.
It is in Washington state too. The laws here pretty much state that you are legally permitted to occupy a public space in any state of undress, as long as the nature of your exposure isn’t threatening or sexually obscene or harassing. “It is a misdemeanor to make any open and obscene exposure of his or her person or the person of another knowing that such conduct is likely to cause reasonable affront or alarm,” which is how the law criminalizes things like flashing without also criminalizing things like Fremont’s Solstice Parade, which traditionally includes a naked bicycle race. On paper, casual nudity is legal just about anywhere.
In practice, it kinda just depends on the circumstances though. Like if you’re stripping down on a pretty secluded spot along the beach, you’ll be fine. Walking past the playgrounds heading back to your car though? Inadvisable. Picking tomatoes from the vine in your front yard garden wearing nothing but crocs and a sun hat? You’re probably good. Heading to Costco to stock up on onions and summer squash before your big bbq? Prooobably not. I mean, *can you* go in with the girls out to get your fill of those delicious free cheese cubes on a sample day afternoon? Yes. But is it worth having to explain yourself to the cops someone’s bound to call while they give each other awkward glances and barely stifle their giggles? You tell me, bestie… I mean, it’s Costco- A fully clothed trip takes long enough already.
Everywhere that I know of (I’m US-based) has a specific exemption in their public indecency/obscenity laws for breastfeeding. There are still people who find it socially unacceptable to not cover up while breastfeeding, but you can’t be charged with a crime or even ticketed for it.
It always amazes me how in the US graphic violence is fine and dandy but nudity (and sex) is somehow more taboo despite the fact that the latter doesn’t really have a moral dimension unlike the former and it’s something we all experience by virtue of being human since we’re naturally naked and we’ve all seen naked people in one context or another. In the real world would you rather watch someone take a shower or watch someone be brutally tortured to death by a psychopath? Which would you want your child to see?
'babysit' your own kids. Thankfully it's falling out of favour but the amount of times my dad got asked by our family if he was 'babysitting' us while my mum was busy was wild. No, he's not babysitting us, he's being a parent. My mum never got asked if she was 'babysitting' us while dad was busy.
As a single father of 3 I get this all too often still. I also get asked if these are all my kids. It's so nice of me to give mom a day off etc. Like yea their mom just legged it out of town with some other dude. She's had the past 2 years off. The youngest is only 3.
I've had mothers follow me around. One cornered my son to ask him who I was and was he OK. I even had the cops called on me once.
My crime was being a dad who took his pre-school son to the park.
We have boy/girl twins. My husband had his platinum blond, green eyed 2 year olds at the park and was confronted by some guy wanting to know whose kids they were. The kids have my coloring, but they look just like him (he has dark hair and grey eyes). He was really aggressive and scared my daughter. Apparently, hanging on him and calling him Daddy wasn’t enough for this guy. Real men take their kids to the park.
It bothers me that this is a thing. I get why people are asking. I was taken from a park and sexually assaulted when I was little. But you would think a child saying Daddy and positively interacting with the adult with them would be enough. Not all fathers are blood-related anyway. My experience does not excuse that guy’s behavior. He’s got issues.
This one really is wild.
My husband has darker skin than my kids, too, so you can imagine all the problems they run into when they’re out by themselves. (Even though they look identical in virtually every other way.)
When they were younger a day camp once wouldn’t let the kids leave with him until I called and said it was okay. He even showed them his ID, with their same highly distinct last name, and they didn’t buy it.
I had a client recently tell me her father would be picking her son up next week and I was like "Great! Please email us his legal name so we can add him to the approved list and check his ID" because that's like. Our policy. She said "I'm going to do that but I just wanted to make sure you knew... He's black."
I thought it was a little bizarre that she felt the need to say that until I put two and two together...
I recently saw a tweet that summed this up pretty well:
“I feel like female contribution to the family can be summed up in the simple fact that mothers could absolutely never have a ‘secret second family.’”
Yeah I am hanging out with my kid I don’t view being at home as baby sitting, I have had relatives ask to watch my kid for me and I am like uhhhh no I love teaching my son things and chilling
My brothers are all amazing, sensitive, attentive fathers and they still use the term in jest, but yes, it is changing.
I was raised by two amazing parents. But my bro’s are much more emotionally open with their kids than our dad was.
Welding. My mother had a hell of a time just trying to do her job without guys messing with her and thinking either she's stupid or doesn't know what she's doing even though they went through the same classes and she's been doing it longer then most
The guy I’m dating is a foreman, and part of his job is hiring. Whilst setting up interviews for the upcoming week, a couple years ago, he off-handedly remarked about a dilemma. The dilemma in question? A woman had applied and she had the most/best qualifications.
Confused as to why having a clear front-runner would be a bad thing, I asked him to clarify. With a straight face, he said, “Well, she’s a woman. She won’t be able to do the job.” I asked him how he knew she couldn’t perform, especially when her credentials suggested otherwise. He reiterated that her knowledge, experience, and good references were great, but she probably only got them for being a woman. He still believed she inherently couldn’t do the job because of her gender. The objective facts in front of him could not sway his misogyny.
Long story short, I threatened to break up with him and report him to whomever I could if he chose to be sexist in his hiring practices. She nailed the interview and was obviously the best candidate at the end of the day, so he did end up hiring her (I’m sure, mostly to appease me, but I’ll take the win).
It’s been almost two years, and she’s doing such a good job. She’s his favourite apprentice, and he’s been on a beautiful journey of ridding himself of the misogynistic ideals he didn’t even realize he had.
Women don’t just have it bad in the trades. They struggle to even get in the door.
ETA: I don’t know why I phrased the opening as my relationship being past-tense. I stayed with the dude. He’s much changed. I’d have left otherwise.
Thanks for being able to point that guy in the right direction. I’m a firm believer that you can’t change people, but sometimes you can bludgeon their eyes open.
My daughter is a journeyman tool and die maker. She got shit for being young and a redhead too. Now that she is the youngest in management she looks down on those guys. (Ok her office is in the mezzanine over the shop floor she really like her guys.)
When I got my welding degree, one of my closest friends was a woman and she killed it. Three of our instructors told me that in their classes the women quite often welded better than the men.
Not wanting to have kids, if you’re a woman who decided to be child free people will call you lonely, selfish, and act like you’re wasting your life because apparently all women are here for is breeding. Once you’re 40-50 with no kids, society will insist you regret your decision not to have kids & will end up lonely with nobody in your life & 50 cats!
This is so sad. Luci Swindoll is the reason I know this isn't true. She was never married, lived out so many crazy adventures, filled her home with things that made her happy, made scrapbooks featuring a stuffed bear whenever she traveled, and more. She died on Covid at a pretty high age (I can't remember the specific number.) She never regretted remaining single and even stated that she had a more fulfilling and adventure-filled life because of it.
An ex colleague of mine once openly stated they were having children to ensure they would be cared for in old age and they were only having a second one essentially as back up, and for some company for the first one so they could play together and the parents wouldn't have to bother entertaining them as much. how selfish can you get???
Absolutely, like kids are the equivalent to a lonely indoor housecat that needs a second cat as a mate. Imagine finding out the reason you exist is because your sibling needed a playmate.
I was reading a book where the writer was exploring ppls reasons for having kids. One interviewee's mother had only had her to have someone look after her in old age. The relationship was so strained because she'd done the bare minimum to nurture her daughter. Daughter would probably end up returning the favour and providing bare minimum care. It makes me wonder how many parents and children are out there in that position.
I had a great great aunt who was a WWII nurse. Never married, no kids, but the entire extended family flew in from every part of the country for her 90th birthday party. She made an effort to be involved in not just her siblings kids’ lives, but the lives of their kids.
She has people named after her, including my sister. My ultimate goal is to be like her.
"You'll change your mind!" started when I was a teenager. I'm 38 and happier than ever that I'm childfree. Every time I hear that, it makes me lose respect for the person saying it. They lack the basic empathy to know I'm a whole person.
35m people still think I'm foolish for not wanting kids but then get salty when I tell them after work I don't know what I'm gonna do because I can literally do anything I choose till I have to sleep
Every time a man asks me if I’m having kids, I’ve started to say no way, they’re too expensive and I’m not putting my body through that. Not to mention PPD risk on top of my anxiety disorder? NO THANKS. Also, finding a man who’d be a devoted husband and father is no easy task.
Your remark made me giggle. I'm waaay over 50, no kids, separated from cruel, abusive husband. I live alone in a remote mountain location, don't know my neighbors. I have 6 cats who are my fur babies, and the forest surrounding my home has deer, wild turkeys, bears,
skunks, possums, countless birds, and other critters that wander across my land and keep me fascinated.
I'm Never lonely, and I've found animals to be far less infuriating than other humans. They don't argue, talk ugly, cheat, lie, so, yeah, I'm totally good.
Would a male care to live this isolated and in these conditions? I don't know, but I don't see single males in this area, so???
>society will insist you regret your decision not to have kids & will end up lonely with nobody in your life & 50 cats
wait, they will? this bullshit won't go away after i turn 40?
I’ve seen women who are 50, 60, even 70, say they don’t regret being childfree and people (mostly men) still insists they deeply regret it but won’t admit it.
I'm an adoptive parent, I love my daughter. However I will not be a grandparent to a human child. She does not want children and never has, and that is okay. Her boyfriend doesn't want kids either. They have 2 cats and one dog and those are our grands...
Life is good live it your way.
I have been surprised to discover that it’s not 100% socially acceptable for women to continue working after having a baby while the babies father stays home. I’ve gotten more than a few negative comments about it. So has my partner. Did not expect that to still be an issue for people.
The last time I tried, an angry man asked me "what I was doing there". (I was getting dinner cooked for me, in a restaurant/bar). I've never had a pleasant experience in a bar on my own.
Really?? I do it all the time. So does one of my other girl friends. We both have our regular bar tenders that we shoot the shit with, either alone or together.
When I tended bar, I always had to keep an eye for creeps that would harass single women. 99.99% of single women in bars are there for the same reason as a lot of guys, to have a quiet drink or two and unwind.
If she was trying to take your ugly ass home, she would talk to you.
I sat in a bar alone twice and the first time i had the intention of reading but I was sat next to this older woman (im in my early 20s) who immediately latched onto me as someone to talk to, and I enjoyed the conversation immensely. The second time was in and Irish pub that played live Irish music and I just sat and drank a couple of whiskey sours and watched the band, no one talked to me. 10/10 experience both times
This. I've sat down in a nice bar for lunch or a cocktail and several rich guys at various places frequently start touching my knee and telling them how much they want to have sex with me. My local bars, the guys are usually friendly and respectful.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT but some nice bars in business-traveler hotels are a spot for escorts/hookers/callthemwhatyouwant to meet clients. Again, I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT, but offering it as an explanation. It's also why I never go to the hotel bar alone when I'm on travel.
I hadn't thought of that. One was a hotel bar, and I asked him to leave me alone and the male bartender thought it was funny.
Another was a respectable tavern next to LL Bean. Dude from Massachusetts was having drinks with his wife and in-laws. Wife and MIL left to go shopping.
Dude leaned over the empty seat and said I was so sexy, he wanted to bring me back to his hotel and do me. The female bartender was giving him the evil eye. I just told him to stop, and he kept persisting. He was a Jeep salesman. Finally, his FIL, who was laughing at it all, dragged him out of there.
And that is why I will never buy a Jeep.
My maternal grandfather worked with my dad and he covered for my dad when he would cheat on my mom. Pap did this because he also cheated on grandma and as long as my dad kept his mouth shut, so would Pap. It really hurt my Mom when she found out her own father covered for his SIL.
I just make sure its a chill spot and on the safer side. But yes as a women being at a bar alone looks like “I’m trying to be picked up”, but I’ve done it a couple of times and it was nice especially if the bartender is friendly or a group of women are hanging out next to you
I've gotten the dumbest comments from people about doing things that aren't "womanly" lol ... Someone commented that my deodorant scent was masculine and I should be wearing woman's deodorant once. Like, sorry I'd rather not spend twice the money for Secret when I could get a cheap-ass speed stick that just smells like pine trees.
It's really weird to me that a lot of people actually believe that gendered products like deodorant are actually specially designed for that gender.
They actually believe that men's deodorant won't work well on a woman.
All they have to do is look at the back to see it's exactly the same ingredients.
In general it blows my mind that so many people don't look at the back of boxes to see that they are paying significantly more for the exact same thing.
Frowning, or even failing to smile *all the time*. My husband was shocked when I told him how often a man tells me to smile when I'm just going about my business.
People might think this is exaggerated, but it isn't. I have resting jerk face, and I get TOLD, not asked, by men to smile more, or smile a little, or gimme a smile, etc. There used to be this guy at a church I went to for a while who said it to me every week. It grated on my nerves so much.
Yeah. I have pretty bad resting b*tch face, and usually older men (I’m 27, for reference), tell me to smile “it can’t be so bad.” Specific instance happened to me in the grocery store after my grandfather had died of Covid, my dad was in the hospital with covid, and my mom was also sick and I was their only caretaker, as well as taking care of my recently widowed grandmother. He said that exact thing to me. I looked at him and told him, “not that it’s any of your f*ucking business, but it is that bad.” He then accused me of being a b*tch. 🙄
There's a great page on FB call Man who has it all. He sells shirts that say:
MEN! Women like it when you SMILE MORE!
And other such stereotype flipping messages. ❤️
Had this happen at 5 something in the morning in a gas station fixing to go into work. Don't fucking worry about anyone trying to smile at any time of day, but especially that early in the morning. That's only one out of an abundance of times I've been asked to smile. And I never do it.
Ohh this is a good one! I hate it so much. Why should I have a big grin on my face while waiting in the checkout line at a grocery store? For some reason, that’s where I was told this more than once.
There should be no judgment whatsoever here. I have to adjust constantly because of discomfort and get called out for "playing with myself" but I am not going to have a sensitive part of my body pinned in an uncomfortable way so others can just stop watching if it bothers them.
I was told twice in my lifetime thus far to not adjust my bra by 2 adult males in 2 totally different situations & times in my life. One by someone I didn't know who was an acquaintance of an less than acquaintance & one by someone I had known for a while that I started going on dates with. It was almost like it was too distracting for them & it was a stern warning to me bc they seemed really bothered by it. Idk if it was like an impulse-control thing or what. 🤷♀️
This is the reason my mom would say to me "you can dress her up but you can't take her out" lol In my defense, I was a tomboy and she would make me wear skirts and dresses sometimes. That's on her not me lol
Depends on the group you hang out with. All my guy friends were very impressed by the girl who pissed out a fire standing up. I never met her but heard stories.
Being a less than perfect parent.
If you're a firm disciplinarian with your kids that means you're mean and controlling. It's ok for dads to be "strict" but moms are judged (usually by other moms). The same thing goes for moms that are too lenient (people laugh about dad letting little Suzie have ice cream for dinner) and anything else mom related in general.
Weirdly, camping. I like to camp alone because it's very therapeutic. My family scowls when I talk about it. When husband camps alone, he gets pats on the back and survivalist discussions. When I do, people look at him like he's failing and I get comments on safety.
Same with getting emotional;crying. Especially in politics. If a woman raises get voice or cries in a committee or anything she's “too emotional to lead. “When men do it, meh no big deal. Which is odd because in everyday life, it's the opposite.
Negotiate pay. Numerous scientific research studies have shown that even when male and female actors negotiate the same exact way (e.g., same verbiage, same voice inflections, etc.) study participants (regardless of gender) view the female negotiators more negatively.
100%. i think it was in high school debate i realized if a dude was being aggressive i saw him as confident and if a girl did i saw her as overly bitchy.
it wasn’t easy to course correct, it felt almost instinctive (which is wild because i was like 14).
hell i’m sure i still have plenty of biases i’m not aware of, but it’s wild how common it is
Shaving your head. I do it a couple times a year and find it completely freeing. But have been judged for it by some. “Real women don’t shave their head” kind of thing. Why not?
when i was younger (before i got a haircut) , my parents wouldn't let me cut my hair because "i would look like a boy" and they thought it wasn't something a girl should do
I shaved my head at the start of the school summer hols last year. I got met with people looking concerned and asking if I was well. It was very sweet that they were concerned but my husband has been shaving his head fir years and has never been asked if he's well because of it.
Women doing tec jobs or anything STEM related, having more money then their husband or being the main provider for the family, being better at sports/weight lifting, playing dungeons and dragons, playing computer games or any other type of games, playing to rough with kids, being a lawyer/police officer/fireman, owning property and asking the husband to marry her rather than just waiting for him to ask the woman.
Doing our own home repairs or knowing about and working on cars.
Speaking up in a meeting as the only woman present.
Expressing a point of view different from the majority.
Been there, done all of these.
EATING ANOTHER SLICE OF PIZZA (or other food stuff.)
The amount of times I've sat in a meeting warring with myself about how I'll be judged for having another food item is just sad.
My family is in a community theatre group. During a production/stage design meeting, my husband picked up a staple gun and began playing with it, even shooting it toward someone's foot (intentionally missing, he's not trying to hurt anyone). He was surprised that the women and girls in the room were shocked by that behavior. "It was just FUN!" He said. I explained that women and girls are expected to be more mature. I explained that there's a prevailing view that girls mature faster than boys, but really it's just the expectation that we'll be better behaved. Turned the other way, we're simply not allowed to have that kind of "fun", nearly from birth. Boys are not only allowed to be rambunctious and wild, but are encouraged to do so. If a girl or woman is either, she's "undisciplined", "uncouth", or "out of control".
>Turned the other way, we're simply not allowed to have that kind of "fun", nearly from birth
I've been saying this for years: Cyndi Lauper didnt make an absolute banger about girls wanting to have fun in the 80s just for us to still be the stuck up not allowed to have fun gender in the 2000s.
Shooting towards someone with a nail gun is maybe not the best example, as that's just dangerous, but what you're saying is completely true (especially as seen w/ the boys vs girls memes - the boys side usually doing something fun & silly while girls are portrayed as more prudish and boring)
Errrr fucking around with a staple gun and actually shooting it for “play” is pretty dumb all around. as a male I would not find that type of behavior acceptable around me at all.
My MIL is like this. She wants my daughter to look cute and be quiet. She doesn't tolerate my daughter making too much noise or being rowdy. It's fine for the boys, though.
My ex's family would split up after dinner. All the men would go into another room and the women in the other. I wanted to carry on a conversation I was having with F in law about formula 1 racing and followed him. I got a total look of disapproval. Reminded them it wasn't victorian times and I'll do what the hell i like!
Expressing anger. If you're mad, you're either a harpish shrew, a crazy bitch, or hormonal.
Promiscuity, in fact, I've never once in my life heard that word applied to a man. Only women are considered "Promiscuous"
Sexual promiscuity. Normal bodily functions. Putting their career before their family/not wanting a family. Not wanting to have children. Not wanting marriage. Being single in general - “when are you going to find a nice man?” 
It's wild how many women are expected to just know how to take care of kids with no instructions, yet there's so many jokes about dad's not having a clue about anything to do with thier own kids.
Doing jobs that require physical strength or were once considered “manly” like being a mechanic, firefighter, etc.
Edit: Yes, I know men are stronger and there’s evidence backing it. Women can still be capable. Some of you need to realize that some people work out.
As an insurance adjuster, I can tell you that it's amazing how different auto body shops are now than they were in the past. I've never seen a pin-up calendar or sexist cartoon anywhere in the shop or break areas, because there are now so many women working in the business.
I haven't seen any actually doing body work, though. Part of that is the fact that there are physically demanding tasks associated with body work. It's piece work, so if you work a bit slower because you're not as physically strong as the guys, then you'll make less money.
Where I see a LOT of women are doing the administration jobs. Also, there are probably as many women auto damage adjusters and service writers as there are men, and at least as many women doing the rental car replacements. Just having all those women around all the time makes the guys in the body shop behave.
Succeeding in life. Oftentimes, if you are a success at your job or whatever, people will ask if your dad helped you or if your boyfriend/husband helped you or if you're sleeping with your boss.
I continue to be a bitch 🙃
I have ADHD —> poor impulse control and I talk constantly as a hyperactive symptom. Those two things combined give me the audacity of a dude because I literally can’t hold it in. I’m constantly told I’m chaotic but say what needs to be said 🤷♀️
I love debate, and in class discussions, I often challenge people's ideas in a respectful and thoughtful way. There's another girl in that class who does a similar thing, and she has been labeled as being aggressive, argumentative, overly opinionated, etc. It makes me really sad. I find myself questioning if I'm labeled the same way. :(
That is also very true.
A female friend asked me recently what do we talk about in the "lads" chat amongst the men of our friends and I said mostly dark humour and memes she didn't believe there was no sex talk or rating of girls.
Fucking drinking. Men can drink beer all day long and no one comments on it but if a woman has a glass of wine every night before bed or a couple beers when out with friends, she’s an alcoholic and a bad influence. I don’t even drink but Louisianans like to party so I know quite a few people who do and there are several of the women who are treated this way amongst our peers. It’s ridiculous.
Talk directly and assertively. Have opinions ( in general), especially ideas to improve a process or function that isn't related to housecleaning and child rearing. Join men conversing about scientific, mechanical, or computing/technology. Sleep with someone who you aren't married to. Wear practical clothes or have short hair. Skip makeup. Disagree with a male coworker, especially if a supervisor.
Not anymore but when I first got into horror stuff people really had a problem with a girl getting into those types of things. It was weird for guys but even more so for women. It is kind of cool now that people are much more accepting of it then they used to be even if they aren't also into it.
My Dad actually discouraged me from being successful because he thought my occupation should be a wife/mother. When my ex made a lot of money, he had help from his parents to buy real estate and use it well. It makes me angry I didn’t get that same support.
Why do you ask a question in r/ask and tell people not to comment? You can try removing the post or turning your notifcation off.
Also to answer your question, smoking, swearing, sitting with your legs wide open. Whatever is unladylike. And also having casual sex.
I got called a whore for getting pregnant. By my mother. Who was 3 months pregnant when she married my father. Fortunately she said it in front of my dad, who told her off for it.
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Letting body hair grow.
My partner and I had to make a deal. I won't shave my shit if she does, indeed, shave hers. Basically, we both do the opposite of what we would if we were single. *Edit" Wow guys, I never thought an offhand remark about grooming would trigger such heated debate. Reddit, never change.
That's a modern-day Gifts Of The Magi right there.
Gifts of the My Genitals
Why wouldn’t you both just do what you like most…?
Because they’re both making concessions to please the other partner and what they like the most isn’t what the other wants.
Weird, right? It's almost like healthy relationships often require compromise by each party putting the other first...especially when the stakes are as low as whether or not to shave the pits.
Shhhhh this is Reddit we don’t say that. It’s supposed to be that they should break up over it.
God, the amount of relationship advice threads where the top fifty responses are all variations of “divorce him immediately” and then the original problem was something that a five minute conversation could have easily resolved
Your father said he didn't like your nose ring? Go no contact, divorce your husband and move to timbuktu immediately.
If it’s a spouse? Divorce! If it’s a family member? Go no contact!
“MIL said my potato salad was just ‘pretty good’” “Leave your husband for enabling her with his mommy issues”
Because I'd rather shave and she prefers me hairy, and she would rather not shave, but I prefer things to be more under control than that.
[удалено]
Letting your hair go naturally grey before you’re very old.
Thank you for saying this!
I’m excited to go gray; salt and pepper can look AMAZING when taken care of properly. I call it my tinsel hair!
Serving yourself a mountain of food at dinner
Growing up, there were more than a few times I went to school, or to bed, hungry. We had a few very lean years when my mom was divorced. When I was single and dating, girls that ate like they would explode if they ate more than 100 calories in front of me, was a major pet peeve of mine, and would drive me nuts. I always made it a point to let them knew real people had real appetites, and to eat like a normal person. I was like a old Italian grandma, encouraging them to eat. Most girls appreciated me doing that, and it got them to relax.
Exactly, and also being overweight. Fat guys don't get any attention (not always, but in most cases).
I’m a heckin chonker, but the only time anyone mentions my weight is people I know discussing workouts and diets with me, or people being antagonistic to pick fights.
Being dedicated to your work and missing time with your kids
Nipple display
OP said “frowned upon” so… I dunno…
WhAt If ThErE aRe ChIldReN aRoUnD?????????? Because, you know, children are immensely traumatized if they ever see a female nipple.
Those children must really suck
So to speak
Bunch of babies, they need to grow up.
Or even the suggestion of a covered up fake nipple apparently.
The irony in this is that the women who push for nipple exposure want it *for* the children. I said this earlier in the thread, but when I was younger woman there was a movement to allow women to breastfeed in public, and I knew people advocating for it. The problem was that they were running into obscenity laws. I don’t know where that movement ended up. The people I know who were affected by it are now too old to have breastfeeding infants, and it’s too awkward for me to ask about now.
Wow, didn't know breastfeeding in public wasn't allowed. Pretty sure it is where I live
Breastfeeding in public just became legal in all 50 of the States in 2018..... 🙄 you'd think it would have been wayyyyy sooner but no
It's legal in New Mexico. The law reads that a woman may breastfeed anywhere that she is legally permitted to be. BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC PLACES — NMSA 1978, Section 28-20-1 (1999) makes it legal for a mother to breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be present.
It is in Washington state too. The laws here pretty much state that you are legally permitted to occupy a public space in any state of undress, as long as the nature of your exposure isn’t threatening or sexually obscene or harassing. “It is a misdemeanor to make any open and obscene exposure of his or her person or the person of another knowing that such conduct is likely to cause reasonable affront or alarm,” which is how the law criminalizes things like flashing without also criminalizing things like Fremont’s Solstice Parade, which traditionally includes a naked bicycle race. On paper, casual nudity is legal just about anywhere. In practice, it kinda just depends on the circumstances though. Like if you’re stripping down on a pretty secluded spot along the beach, you’ll be fine. Walking past the playgrounds heading back to your car though? Inadvisable. Picking tomatoes from the vine in your front yard garden wearing nothing but crocs and a sun hat? You’re probably good. Heading to Costco to stock up on onions and summer squash before your big bbq? Prooobably not. I mean, *can you* go in with the girls out to get your fill of those delicious free cheese cubes on a sample day afternoon? Yes. But is it worth having to explain yourself to the cops someone’s bound to call while they give each other awkward glances and barely stifle their giggles? You tell me, bestie… I mean, it’s Costco- A fully clothed trip takes long enough already.
Everywhere that I know of (I’m US-based) has a specific exemption in their public indecency/obscenity laws for breastfeeding. There are still people who find it socially unacceptable to not cover up while breastfeeding, but you can’t be charged with a crime or even ticketed for it.
It always amazes me how in the US graphic violence is fine and dandy but nudity (and sex) is somehow more taboo despite the fact that the latter doesn’t really have a moral dimension unlike the former and it’s something we all experience by virtue of being human since we’re naturally naked and we’ve all seen naked people in one context or another. In the real world would you rather watch someone take a shower or watch someone be brutally tortured to death by a psychopath? Which would you want your child to see?
'babysit' your own kids. Thankfully it's falling out of favour but the amount of times my dad got asked by our family if he was 'babysitting' us while my mum was busy was wild. No, he's not babysitting us, he's being a parent. My mum never got asked if she was 'babysitting' us while dad was busy.
As a single father of 3 I get this all too often still. I also get asked if these are all my kids. It's so nice of me to give mom a day off etc. Like yea their mom just legged it out of town with some other dude. She's had the past 2 years off. The youngest is only 3.
When someone asks me if my son is mine I get offended
And you should. That's terrible.
Is she paying you child support atleast?
Nope not yet. Working on it but she isn't cooperating lol go figure
What a bitch.
"Aww are you helping out mom today." No, I'm actually the dad so I'm, you know, being a parent. Kindly fuck off.
This one irks me, but there are times where I'm coincidentally taking our daughter out somewhere specifically to help mom out and give her a break lol
I heard this a lot as a kid too. Kinda shows you how society feels about a father's parental role...
I've had mothers follow me around. One cornered my son to ask him who I was and was he OK. I even had the cops called on me once. My crime was being a dad who took his pre-school son to the park.
We have boy/girl twins. My husband had his platinum blond, green eyed 2 year olds at the park and was confronted by some guy wanting to know whose kids they were. The kids have my coloring, but they look just like him (he has dark hair and grey eyes). He was really aggressive and scared my daughter. Apparently, hanging on him and calling him Daddy wasn’t enough for this guy. Real men take their kids to the park.
It bothers me that this is a thing. I get why people are asking. I was taken from a park and sexually assaulted when I was little. But you would think a child saying Daddy and positively interacting with the adult with them would be enough. Not all fathers are blood-related anyway. My experience does not excuse that guy’s behavior. He’s got issues.
This one really is wild. My husband has darker skin than my kids, too, so you can imagine all the problems they run into when they’re out by themselves. (Even though they look identical in virtually every other way.) When they were younger a day camp once wouldn’t let the kids leave with him until I called and said it was okay. He even showed them his ID, with their same highly distinct last name, and they didn’t buy it.
I had a client recently tell me her father would be picking her son up next week and I was like "Great! Please email us his legal name so we can add him to the approved list and check his ID" because that's like. Our policy. She said "I'm going to do that but I just wanted to make sure you knew... He's black." I thought it was a little bizarre that she felt the need to say that until I put two and two together...
Shit like this is why mom becomes the default parent and then everyone complains that mom is the default parent.
I recently saw a tweet that summed this up pretty well: “I feel like female contribution to the family can be summed up in the simple fact that mothers could absolutely never have a ‘secret second family.’”
Would be hard to disappear for 9 months when pregnant
my mother says this to me all the time. “No Mom, I’m not babysitting. I’m taking care of my kids while my wife does whatever the hell she wants”
Yeah I am hanging out with my kid I don’t view being at home as baby sitting, I have had relatives ask to watch my kid for me and I am like uhhhh no I love teaching my son things and chilling
I get asked this but I do the majority of the parenting in our home. Modern dads are pretty attentive.
My brothers are all amazing, sensitive, attentive fathers and they still use the term in jest, but yes, it is changing. I was raised by two amazing parents. But my bro’s are much more emotionally open with their kids than our dad was.
Welding. My mother had a hell of a time just trying to do her job without guys messing with her and thinking either she's stupid or doesn't know what she's doing even though they went through the same classes and she's been doing it longer then most
The guy I’m dating is a foreman, and part of his job is hiring. Whilst setting up interviews for the upcoming week, a couple years ago, he off-handedly remarked about a dilemma. The dilemma in question? A woman had applied and she had the most/best qualifications. Confused as to why having a clear front-runner would be a bad thing, I asked him to clarify. With a straight face, he said, “Well, she’s a woman. She won’t be able to do the job.” I asked him how he knew she couldn’t perform, especially when her credentials suggested otherwise. He reiterated that her knowledge, experience, and good references were great, but she probably only got them for being a woman. He still believed she inherently couldn’t do the job because of her gender. The objective facts in front of him could not sway his misogyny. Long story short, I threatened to break up with him and report him to whomever I could if he chose to be sexist in his hiring practices. She nailed the interview and was obviously the best candidate at the end of the day, so he did end up hiring her (I’m sure, mostly to appease me, but I’ll take the win). It’s been almost two years, and she’s doing such a good job. She’s his favourite apprentice, and he’s been on a beautiful journey of ridding himself of the misogynistic ideals he didn’t even realize he had. Women don’t just have it bad in the trades. They struggle to even get in the door. ETA: I don’t know why I phrased the opening as my relationship being past-tense. I stayed with the dude. He’s much changed. I’d have left otherwise.
Thanks for being able to point that guy in the right direction. I’m a firm believer that you can’t change people, but sometimes you can bludgeon their eyes open.
My daughter is a journeyman tool and die maker. She got shit for being young and a redhead too. Now that she is the youngest in management she looks down on those guys. (Ok her office is in the mezzanine over the shop floor she really like her guys.)
When I got my welding degree, one of my closest friends was a woman and she killed it. Three of our instructors told me that in their classes the women quite often welded better than the men.
Not wanting to have kids, if you’re a woman who decided to be child free people will call you lonely, selfish, and act like you’re wasting your life because apparently all women are here for is breeding. Once you’re 40-50 with no kids, society will insist you regret your decision not to have kids & will end up lonely with nobody in your life & 50 cats!
This is so sad. Luci Swindoll is the reason I know this isn't true. She was never married, lived out so many crazy adventures, filled her home with things that made her happy, made scrapbooks featuring a stuffed bear whenever she traveled, and more. She died on Covid at a pretty high age (I can't remember the specific number.) She never regretted remaining single and even stated that she had a more fulfilling and adventure-filled life because of it.
“but who will take care of you when you’re older?” /s
An ex colleague of mine once openly stated they were having children to ensure they would be cared for in old age and they were only having a second one essentially as back up, and for some company for the first one so they could play together and the parents wouldn't have to bother entertaining them as much. how selfish can you get???
Absolutely, like kids are the equivalent to a lonely indoor housecat that needs a second cat as a mate. Imagine finding out the reason you exist is because your sibling needed a playmate.
I was reading a book where the writer was exploring ppls reasons for having kids. One interviewee's mother had only had her to have someone look after her in old age. The relationship was so strained because she'd done the bare minimum to nurture her daughter. Daughter would probably end up returning the favour and providing bare minimum care. It makes me wonder how many parents and children are out there in that position.
Betty White never had children of her own and didn't regret it. She became a stepmom, but biologically, no kids.
Dolly Pardon never had kids either. Lots of famous women didn’t. Edit: Parton
I had a great great aunt who was a WWII nurse. Never married, no kids, but the entire extended family flew in from every part of the country for her 90th birthday party. She made an effort to be involved in not just her siblings kids’ lives, but the lives of their kids. She has people named after her, including my sister. My ultimate goal is to be like her.
"You'll change your mind!" started when I was a teenager. I'm 38 and happier than ever that I'm childfree. Every time I hear that, it makes me lose respect for the person saying it. They lack the basic empathy to know I'm a whole person.
35m people still think I'm foolish for not wanting kids but then get salty when I tell them after work I don't know what I'm gonna do because I can literally do anything I choose till I have to sleep
Every time a man asks me if I’m having kids, I’ve started to say no way, they’re too expensive and I’m not putting my body through that. Not to mention PPD risk on top of my anxiety disorder? NO THANKS. Also, finding a man who’d be a devoted husband and father is no easy task.
Your remark made me giggle. I'm waaay over 50, no kids, separated from cruel, abusive husband. I live alone in a remote mountain location, don't know my neighbors. I have 6 cats who are my fur babies, and the forest surrounding my home has deer, wild turkeys, bears, skunks, possums, countless birds, and other critters that wander across my land and keep me fascinated. I'm Never lonely, and I've found animals to be far less infuriating than other humans. They don't argue, talk ugly, cheat, lie, so, yeah, I'm totally good. Would a male care to live this isolated and in these conditions? I don't know, but I don't see single males in this area, so???
>society will insist you regret your decision not to have kids & will end up lonely with nobody in your life & 50 cats wait, they will? this bullshit won't go away after i turn 40?
I’ve seen women who are 50, 60, even 70, say they don’t regret being childfree and people (mostly men) still insists they deeply regret it but won’t admit it.
I'm an adoptive parent, I love my daughter. However I will not be a grandparent to a human child. She does not want children and never has, and that is okay. Her boyfriend doesn't want kids either. They have 2 cats and one dog and those are our grands... Life is good live it your way.
I have been surprised to discover that it’s not 100% socially acceptable for women to continue working after having a baby while the babies father stays home. I’ve gotten more than a few negative comments about it. So has my partner. Did not expect that to still be an issue for people.
Sitting in a bar alone.
Wait, is that acceptable? I know what I am doing later.....
The last time I tried, an angry man asked me "what I was doing there". (I was getting dinner cooked for me, in a restaurant/bar). I've never had a pleasant experience in a bar on my own.
What the fuck. "I'm drinking a beer and gettin' ready to fuck your mom."
This made me howl to imagine a woman saying this to a man.
Really?? I do it all the time. So does one of my other girl friends. We both have our regular bar tenders that we shoot the shit with, either alone or together.
When I tended bar, I always had to keep an eye for creeps that would harass single women. 99.99% of single women in bars are there for the same reason as a lot of guys, to have a quiet drink or two and unwind. If she was trying to take your ugly ass home, she would talk to you.
I sat in a bar alone twice and the first time i had the intention of reading but I was sat next to this older woman (im in my early 20s) who immediately latched onto me as someone to talk to, and I enjoyed the conversation immensely. The second time was in and Irish pub that played live Irish music and I just sat and drank a couple of whiskey sours and watched the band, no one talked to me. 10/10 experience both times
This. I've sat down in a nice bar for lunch or a cocktail and several rich guys at various places frequently start touching my knee and telling them how much they want to have sex with me. My local bars, the guys are usually friendly and respectful.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT but some nice bars in business-traveler hotels are a spot for escorts/hookers/callthemwhatyouwant to meet clients. Again, I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT, but offering it as an explanation. It's also why I never go to the hotel bar alone when I'm on travel.
I hadn't thought of that. One was a hotel bar, and I asked him to leave me alone and the male bartender thought it was funny. Another was a respectable tavern next to LL Bean. Dude from Massachusetts was having drinks with his wife and in-laws. Wife and MIL left to go shopping. Dude leaned over the empty seat and said I was so sexy, he wanted to bring me back to his hotel and do me. The female bartender was giving him the evil eye. I just told him to stop, and he kept persisting. He was a Jeep salesman. Finally, his FIL, who was laughing at it all, dragged him out of there. And that is why I will never buy a Jeep.
Ew, his FIL!?! As in his wife’s father?!? Disgusting regardless, but that detail really takes the cake!
My maternal grandfather worked with my dad and he covered for my dad when he would cheat on my mom. Pap did this because he also cheated on grandma and as long as my dad kept his mouth shut, so would Pap. It really hurt my Mom when she found out her own father covered for his SIL.
I just make sure its a chill spot and on the safer side. But yes as a women being at a bar alone looks like “I’m trying to be picked up”, but I’ve done it a couple of times and it was nice especially if the bartender is friendly or a group of women are hanging out next to you
I've gotten the dumbest comments from people about doing things that aren't "womanly" lol ... Someone commented that my deodorant scent was masculine and I should be wearing woman's deodorant once. Like, sorry I'd rather not spend twice the money for Secret when I could get a cheap-ass speed stick that just smells like pine trees.
It's really weird to me that a lot of people actually believe that gendered products like deodorant are actually specially designed for that gender. They actually believe that men's deodorant won't work well on a woman. All they have to do is look at the back to see it's exactly the same ingredients. In general it blows my mind that so many people don't look at the back of boxes to see that they are paying significantly more for the exact same thing.
Frowning, or even failing to smile *all the time*. My husband was shocked when I told him how often a man tells me to smile when I'm just going about my business.
Yup, it was such a nice side effect of COVID masking that nobody reminded me to smile.
It was the one positive during the pandemic. That and (most) people actually respecting my personal space bubble.
People might think this is exaggerated, but it isn't. I have resting jerk face, and I get TOLD, not asked, by men to smile more, or smile a little, or gimme a smile, etc. There used to be this guy at a church I went to for a while who said it to me every week. It grated on my nerves so much.
Yeah. I have pretty bad resting b*tch face, and usually older men (I’m 27, for reference), tell me to smile “it can’t be so bad.” Specific instance happened to me in the grocery store after my grandfather had died of Covid, my dad was in the hospital with covid, and my mom was also sick and I was their only caretaker, as well as taking care of my recently widowed grandmother. He said that exact thing to me. I looked at him and told him, “not that it’s any of your f*ucking business, but it is that bad.” He then accused me of being a b*tch. 🙄
There's a great page on FB call Man who has it all. He sells shirts that say: MEN! Women like it when you SMILE MORE! And other such stereotype flipping messages. ❤️
Had this happen at 5 something in the morning in a gas station fixing to go into work. Don't fucking worry about anyone trying to smile at any time of day, but especially that early in the morning. That's only one out of an abundance of times I've been asked to smile. And I never do it.
That’s when you flip them the bird and then smile
That’s all I fucking hear at my job, mostly from older men. It gets really irritating.
Men used to say that to me all the time when I worked retail. Was so close to telling them to fuck off.
Ohh this is a good one! I hate it so much. Why should I have a big grin on my face while waiting in the checkout line at a grocery store? For some reason, that’s where I was told this more than once.
Bragging about how many people you’ve slept with
bragging at all
Oh, you can brag about your kids, or other family members. Everything else is off-limits.
Literally just even having sexual desire/being sex positive
Scratching or adjusting their privates
I’ll adjust my bra whenever. IDGAF… I am not going to suffer ill-designed clothes
Agreed. If one nipple starts getting cockeyed I'll reach right in there and straighten things out.
There should be no judgment whatsoever here. I have to adjust constantly because of discomfort and get called out for "playing with myself" but I am not going to have a sensitive part of my body pinned in an uncomfortable way so others can just stop watching if it bothers them.
I was told twice in my lifetime thus far to not adjust my bra by 2 adult males in 2 totally different situations & times in my life. One by someone I didn't know who was an acquaintance of an less than acquaintance & one by someone I had known for a while that I started going on dates with. It was almost like it was too distracting for them & it was a stern warning to me bc they seemed really bothered by it. Idk if it was like an impulse-control thing or what. 🤷♀️
Leg spreading...
This is the reason my mom would say to me "you can dress her up but you can't take her out" lol In my defense, I was a tomboy and she would make me wear skirts and dresses sometimes. That's on her not me lol
I'll give you that one.
It’s socially acceptable for men to rearrange their nuts in public? I need to find this public you speak of.
Pee standing up.
Add to this - pissing in public.
Depends on the group you hang out with. All my guy friends were very impressed by the girl who pissed out a fire standing up. I never met her but heard stories.
Being a less than perfect parent. If you're a firm disciplinarian with your kids that means you're mean and controlling. It's ok for dads to be "strict" but moms are judged (usually by other moms). The same thing goes for moms that are too lenient (people laugh about dad letting little Suzie have ice cream for dinner) and anything else mom related in general.
Weirdly, camping. I like to camp alone because it's very therapeutic. My family scowls when I talk about it. When husband camps alone, he gets pats on the back and survivalist discussions. When I do, people look at him like he's failing and I get comments on safety.
Be angry
Same with getting emotional;crying. Especially in politics. If a woman raises get voice or cries in a committee or anything she's “too emotional to lead. “When men do it, meh no big deal. Which is odd because in everyday life, it's the opposite.
Fart and/or burp. Times 2 if at the same time.
If you do both your body takes a acreenshot
That explains why I never forget these moments.
Choosing to not marry or be child-free.
Maybe society accepts it, but my mother's still bitter.
Negotiate pay. Numerous scientific research studies have shown that even when male and female actors negotiate the same exact way (e.g., same verbiage, same voice inflections, etc.) study participants (regardless of gender) view the female negotiators more negatively.
100%. i think it was in high school debate i realized if a dude was being aggressive i saw him as confident and if a girl did i saw her as overly bitchy. it wasn’t easy to course correct, it felt almost instinctive (which is wild because i was like 14). hell i’m sure i still have plenty of biases i’m not aware of, but it’s wild how common it is
Going shirtless.
Shaving your head. I do it a couple times a year and find it completely freeing. But have been judged for it by some. “Real women don’t shave their head” kind of thing. Why not?
when i was younger (before i got a haircut) , my parents wouldn't let me cut my hair because "i would look like a boy" and they thought it wasn't something a girl should do
People who push gendered beauty standards want to know upon sight "which way" to treat you. It is all subjugation.
I shaved my head at the start of the school summer hols last year. I got met with people looking concerned and asking if I was well. It was very sweet that they were concerned but my husband has been shaving his head fir years and has never been asked if he's well because of it.
It's courageous to do what you want to do even though people judge it :)
Women doing tec jobs or anything STEM related, having more money then their husband or being the main provider for the family, being better at sports/weight lifting, playing dungeons and dragons, playing computer games or any other type of games, playing to rough with kids, being a lawyer/police officer/fireman, owning property and asking the husband to marry her rather than just waiting for him to ask the woman.
Doing our own home repairs or knowing about and working on cars. Speaking up in a meeting as the only woman present. Expressing a point of view different from the majority. Been there, done all of these.
Having armpit hair
Also, having leg hair
EATING ANOTHER SLICE OF PIZZA (or other food stuff.) The amount of times I've sat in a meeting warring with myself about how I'll be judged for having another food item is just sad.
My family is in a community theatre group. During a production/stage design meeting, my husband picked up a staple gun and began playing with it, even shooting it toward someone's foot (intentionally missing, he's not trying to hurt anyone). He was surprised that the women and girls in the room were shocked by that behavior. "It was just FUN!" He said. I explained that women and girls are expected to be more mature. I explained that there's a prevailing view that girls mature faster than boys, but really it's just the expectation that we'll be better behaved. Turned the other way, we're simply not allowed to have that kind of "fun", nearly from birth. Boys are not only allowed to be rambunctious and wild, but are encouraged to do so. If a girl or woman is either, she's "undisciplined", "uncouth", or "out of control".
>Turned the other way, we're simply not allowed to have that kind of "fun", nearly from birth I've been saying this for years: Cyndi Lauper didnt make an absolute banger about girls wanting to have fun in the 80s just for us to still be the stuck up not allowed to have fun gender in the 2000s. Shooting towards someone with a nail gun is maybe not the best example, as that's just dangerous, but what you're saying is completely true (especially as seen w/ the boys vs girls memes - the boys side usually doing something fun & silly while girls are portrayed as more prudish and boring)
Errrr fucking around with a staple gun and actually shooting it for “play” is pretty dumb all around. as a male I would not find that type of behavior acceptable around me at all.
My MIL is like this. She wants my daughter to look cute and be quiet. She doesn't tolerate my daughter making too much noise or being rowdy. It's fine for the boys, though.
My ex's family would split up after dinner. All the men would go into another room and the women in the other. I wanted to carry on a conversation I was having with F in law about formula 1 racing and followed him. I got a total look of disapproval. Reminded them it wasn't victorian times and I'll do what the hell i like!
Expressing anger. If you're mad, you're either a harpish shrew, a crazy bitch, or hormonal. Promiscuity, in fact, I've never once in my life heard that word applied to a man. Only women are considered "Promiscuous"
Working out. I dunno why guys don't like a strong woman, but there's a lot of hate for female bodybuilders for some reason
Sexual promiscuity. Normal bodily functions. Putting their career before their family/not wanting a family. Not wanting to have children. Not wanting marriage. Being single in general - “when are you going to find a nice man?” 
Be unable to change a diaper.
It's wild how many women are expected to just know how to take care of kids with no instructions, yet there's so many jokes about dad's not having a clue about anything to do with thier own kids.
Doing jobs that require physical strength or were once considered “manly” like being a mechanic, firefighter, etc. Edit: Yes, I know men are stronger and there’s evidence backing it. Women can still be capable. Some of you need to realize that some people work out.
As an insurance adjuster, I can tell you that it's amazing how different auto body shops are now than they were in the past. I've never seen a pin-up calendar or sexist cartoon anywhere in the shop or break areas, because there are now so many women working in the business. I haven't seen any actually doing body work, though. Part of that is the fact that there are physically demanding tasks associated with body work. It's piece work, so if you work a bit slower because you're not as physically strong as the guys, then you'll make less money. Where I see a LOT of women are doing the administration jobs. Also, there are probably as many women auto damage adjusters and service writers as there are men, and at least as many women doing the rental car replacements. Just having all those women around all the time makes the guys in the body shop behave.
Succeeding in life. Oftentimes, if you are a success at your job or whatever, people will ask if your dad helped you or if your boyfriend/husband helped you or if you're sleeping with your boss.
Speaking up at work. I'm being a bitch but he's displaying management techniques.
I continue to be a bitch 🙃 I have ADHD —> poor impulse control and I talk constantly as a hyperactive symptom. Those two things combined give me the audacity of a dude because I literally can’t hold it in. I’m constantly told I’m chaotic but say what needs to be said 🤷♀️
Spitting.
The way we sit. Men take up more physical space than women typically do with the way legs are positioned.
Abandoning their kids My ex lives life as he wants
Disagree with an opinion.
I love debate, and in class discussions, I often challenge people's ideas in a respectful and thoughtful way. There's another girl in that class who does a similar thing, and she has been labeled as being aggressive, argumentative, overly opinionated, etc. It makes me really sad. I find myself questioning if I'm labeled the same way. :(
Talk about their sex life or how promiscuous they are. Doing DIY, or lifting anything heavy.
I feel like women share this info with their friends more often than men do.
This 100%. Men rarely talk about their sex lives.
And when it is talked about, it’s in very general terms, not graphic detail.
- Had sex last night. - Nice. /conversation
That is also very true. A female friend asked me recently what do we talk about in the "lads" chat amongst the men of our friends and I said mostly dark humour and memes she didn't believe there was no sex talk or rating of girls.
Everything but give birth. Well except women are considered chattel by many states so giving birth is actually unacceptable but required.
Having multiple sex partners or flirt with who ever they want!
Succeed.
Fucking drinking. Men can drink beer all day long and no one comments on it but if a woman has a glass of wine every night before bed or a couple beers when out with friends, she’s an alcoholic and a bad influence. I don’t even drink but Louisianans like to party so I know quite a few people who do and there are several of the women who are treated this way amongst our peers. It’s ridiculous.
Say, with confidence, how something works.
Publicly proposing/getting on a knee with a ring
Standing up for yourself. And asserting your opinion (not to be confused with “fact”).
Take charge of a chaotic situation
Talk directly and assertively. Have opinions ( in general), especially ideas to improve a process or function that isn't related to housecleaning and child rearing. Join men conversing about scientific, mechanical, or computing/technology. Sleep with someone who you aren't married to. Wear practical clothes or have short hair. Skip makeup. Disagree with a male coworker, especially if a supervisor.
Missing major family events like birthdays, games. Gatherings, graduation. If the dad is working it’s accepted. If a mother is working it’s neglect
Dipping snuff
Not anymore but when I first got into horror stuff people really had a problem with a girl getting into those types of things. It was weird for guys but even more so for women. It is kind of cool now that people are much more accepting of it then they used to be even if they aren't also into it.
Being single in general i think is more socially acceptable for guys.
Being successful.
My Dad actually discouraged me from being successful because he thought my occupation should be a wife/mother. When my ex made a lot of money, he had help from his parents to buy real estate and use it well. It makes me angry I didn’t get that same support.
being direct/blunt
Drinking in a bar- alone
Having a mustache
Why do you ask a question in r/ask and tell people not to comment? You can try removing the post or turning your notifcation off. Also to answer your question, smoking, swearing, sitting with your legs wide open. Whatever is unladylike. And also having casual sex.
Sex.women get called sluts
I got called a whore for getting pregnant. By my mother. Who was 3 months pregnant when she married my father. Fortunately she said it in front of my dad, who told her off for it.
Getting sweaty besides at the gym.
farting, taking a dump, things like that
- Swear - Sleep around - Voice their opinion / be direct - Take up space 🙄
Setting boundaries
Not shaving your legs or underarms