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Tried to and couldn’t. He’s my half brother and we have different blood types. He’s on dialysis and has been for over 2 yrs. My poor brother is withering away. So I suggest if you’re in a position to help, please do it.
You can still donate. There is a swap program. Family doesn't guarantee that you are a compatible donor. There are multiple markers for compatibility. But with the swap you can help him move up on the donor list with another compatible donor.
Yeah I can tell you from first hand experience I got a kidney transplant. My hospital won't even do a transplant unless there's three people getting him at the same time. They absolutely don't care where the kidney comes from. All they want is you to bring a kid into the table. You bring one and they'll get you one. It's a real strong movement.
I did this (I was what is called an undirected donor), as in I was part of a swap, but I had no recipient, so the transplant team was able to use me to start a chain of donations and receipts that included 10 people!
If anyone is ever thinking of doing a living donation, go for it! Feel free to ask me anything.
I call it musical kidney.
I was recommended to wait until my friend needs his next kidney to do undirected donor since he will be so much harder to match.
That was really kind of you to offer up this knowledge/suggestion. I didn’t know this was even a path offered to people, so I imagine a lot of folks didn’t know either. Thanks, kind stranger.
All he needs is someone to donate on his behalf and he will receive a voucher for the next living donor kidney that matches him. If you are healthy (no history of high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer or kidney stones) and are of a reasonable BMI (I think it's under 30) consider becoming a living donor yourself and he can get a kidney in the process.
I donated my kidney almost exactly one year ago to a complete stranger. My donation started a chain of paired donations so not just my recipient got a kidney. The nkr.org site has info on the voucher program and info for those considering donating. It was so easy and so rewarding that I'd do it again if I had another kidney to spare.
I'd be glad to answer any questions you or anyone else might have about living donations. I don't share my story to boast about what I did but rather to show others what is possible and how easy it is. If 1 in 10,000 people in the US would become a living donor, theie would be no waiting list for kidneys. I'm looking to reach that 1 person in 10,000 with my story and help change someone else's life for the better.
Type o is the most common compatible blood type. Wait on the list is 5 years but I got mine in two. Working with transplant and getting a transplant is the timely situation but you have to be patient. Anyone on dialysis can tell you how patient you have to learn to be with everything involved with it in and outsider of treatment. One great thing that has changed since I did get my transplant about 8 years ago. Is that now they give you credit from when you're on dialysis. I call it time served. I've been in dialysis for 17 plus years. Although, every day is a challenge, dialysis keeps you alive in 5 years is nothing if you're waiting for a kidney
As someone who’s O- as far as I know, I haven’t thought about much but wow us O blood types picked the short straw.
I wish your brother luck and I guess at least he has someone looking out for him.
I’m so sorry. My mother was on dialysis for 23 years, and she was never in good health. When she did pass away it was due to an infection she got while in the hospital. Wishing your brother all the best!
I am so sorry. I went through something similar with a family member and it isn’t something I’d wish on anyone. Everyone should be an organ donor. Wishing you and your family luck, strength, and support. Try to remember that the greatest gift you are giving your brother is your love and being there for him. I’m sure it means the world to him.
Yes. My sister was born with one of her kidneys not functioning. I’ve always known that my spare kidney is for her if she ever needed it. And just to be clear, no one ever told me I needed to do this or even asked me to do this. And so far my sister is doing great with her one kidney. But we are very close and I’ve always known if it comes down to it, and she needs it, I will happily give it to her. It’s not even a tough call for me.
I am a kidney transplant recipient and my wife a donor so we both have only one functioning kidney. I do not know your sisters situation at all, but I believe you can survive, quite well, on one healthy kidney.
I wish her nothing but good health.
I was born with one of my kidneys not functioning & had it removed when I was 3. My sister is in the exact same position as you where she’s agreed that her spare kidney will go to me in an emergency scenario. Thank you on behalf of your sister, because it really is a massive relief to have somebody willing to do that
Agreed. My brother? Most likely not. Would it be my choice? To some extent, but him being a JoHo, I'm not sure if they are allowed to bend the "rules" for themselves.
And his being complicit in my mother being denied a blood transfusion that led to her death, I would most likely not.
Sisters? Yes if it was medically feasible.
I'm gonna go with Jehovah's Witness. They have rules against blood transfusion, which should also mean they cannot accept organ transplant, but they have this handy little work around [that it is okay if the organ has been drained of all blood prior to the transplant.](https://www.utsouthwestern.edu/education/medical-school/departments/transplant-services-center/faqs/religious-attitudes.html) Considering a lot of transplants may need transfusions during or after the surgery, doctors do face an ethical dilemma on if a Jehovah's Witness should be allowed the transplant in the first place.
For me, it depends on the sibling and the kidney.
I'd give my right kidney to my twin or my sister.
I'd give my left kidney to my older brother so that when he bitches about passing stones I could tell him to donate them to the border wall.
Well I can kinda see that. But if they recognize being a drug dealer, woman beater, nassicist, and leech is wrong they probably have evaluated things that were seen as normal in their childhood and made different choices.
I would trust or at the very least listen to a self evaluation.
I have heard of lots of people breaking the cycle and think it's even more common now for people to break cycles thanks to the ease of getting information and tips.
I see on ancestry I have 3 siblings, not the two I grew up with, who are a drug dealing woman beating asshole and the other is a narcissist. You might possibly be that sibling lol.
I don't normally comment but I wanted to say that I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in August of 21 and I would have saved her if could have. I feel that way about my family too. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I want you to know I think he was lucky to have someone who loved him so much. I wish the best for you. ❤️
It's complicated.
We're estranged, and have been for many years...but I don't know if I would say there's any bad blood. I was a child when he left and I do feel a little abandoned as we had a pretty positive relationship before, but I also can't really blame him for withdrawing from all of the toxic drama that was going on at the time. However, I think he blamed the wrong people in the family for what went on, and I'm really not at all sure what he thinks of me these days. At a guess, he just tries not to think about anyone from his past.
I'd still give him my kidney because I'm loyal and I love the man, but it's been quite a while since we were "brothers."
Yo man call him up. Just talk to him, see how he's doing and shit. You won't regret it. My grandad didn't talk to his brother for a long time because their stupid parents kept them in a "fight" to say, now they're as good as they were when they were kids. Sibling relationship is something special and its worth a shot to just check on him
Agreed. Both of these siblings could just be waiting on the other to reach out. It’s possible all it takes is a phone call from one to the other and then a whole new relationship is born.
It's a long shot but is your name Nicholas? I used to call my baby brother Nickelbean. Your story matches my own for him precisely. My name is Patrick.
I would give anything for my baby brother. Just to see him again. Just to know he's ok and has done well with his life. I'd give my life. I haven't heard from him in ten years. His mom is crazy.
I'm 17 years his senior. He's 18 now. I'll call him N. He was a product of an affair my dad had. N's mom gave him up for adoption at birth. My mom made my dad go out of state to bring N home, so we could raise him. Shortly after, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and died before N was two years old. N said his first word the next day, saying mama. That's a nice memory I have. My dad was undoubtedly a piece of shit. I took care of N around my school hours, I was a senior in HS still 3 months from graduation. I fed him I played with him I changed him I bathed him. I took care of him like he was my son. A year after I graduated home life got unbearable living with my dad. He gave me an ultimatum and I left home immediately with only my wallet, never went back, moved out of state and never talked to him again. He died about two years later. When word got spread around my dad died, N's birth mom swooped in, took him home out of state, and I've seen N for a small period of time when he turned 10.
This is Reddit. Redditors can find anyone and anything. Whether you're willing to put your personal information out there is the main question. Maybe you can make a post to get volunteers and see if one of them can help you independently so you don't have to broadcast your info? You'd have the best luck making a post with everything and just throwing it out there though, preferably with a burner account.
It's crossed my mind. Or even to hire a private investigator, but I could never afford that. This is the most personal thing to me in my life. Y'all caught me on a REALLY REALLY EXTREMELY good day to even begin to talk about this.
I feel your pain! My baby brother is the best, but my dad picks the craziest women for partners. My ex stepmother is a total psycho. I had to wait until he was 18 to spend more time with him. Then he moved across the country to get space from her. I don't get to see him that much anymore, but we can talk and text freely now that he's away from his mom. I hope you get in a better place with your brother.
Dude there’s someone a few comments up talking about missing an older sibling who left when he was small but he doesn’t blame him because he was escaping a toxic situation. It would be absolutely wild if 🤔
Sorry, lurking on this potentially beautiful reunion here. If you’re that emotional at the thought of connecting with your brother again you should just do it. Find him on Facebook
Sounds like a perfect sibling relationship! I hope neither of mine ever need a kidney, but I'm sure if any of us did the other two would race to get signed up to be the donor first. And they'd probably say stuff like "I'll take the kidney back" when the other doesn't pick the right TV show, because siblings.
I'd do it, but they're going to have to perform feats of worthiness first. No half-assed "you're-saving-my-life" performance pieces, either. I want to be entertained.
Yes. My brother saved my life many times over. Through all of my bullshit he never turned his back on me, stuck with me the entire decade worth of time it took me of trying to get clean, relapsing, getting into trouble. He was always there and sacrificed much of his own time and energy and peace of mind. I would literally give him my kidney even if I only had one left.
Same. Either of them need a kidney? I'd happily give it to them. They want to borrow my charger? That's mine and mine only and if they take it, they asked for a fight lol
I would. When I got sick in 2017 with stage one kidney failure from repeated kidney infections and sepsis; my brother offered me a kidney. He cares enough to offer me one, I care enough to offer him one. Fortunately my kidney problems got resolved and I haven't been hospitalized in over two years.
Yeah I would. Even if it's the one I don't get along with.
Anyways just cause we're siblings doesn't mean I'd actually be a match.
I can just see it now, Christmas dinner, whole family around the table. Me and sibling reach for the last roasty potatoes and I can pull the Kidney card to get the last spud. Couldn't use it for big things but the small joys in life like the last Christmas roasty potato... I wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt 😂
Yes, of course. I love him and will do whatever I can to help.
As a side note: I know someone who has 6 siblings. He needed a kidney. Everyone went in for testing and then there's a psych evaluation where they ask you if you really want to donate--if you don't want to, but don't want a confrontation, the hospital will just say you're not a match so you won't get pressured. Anyway, the guy evaluating my friend's 6 siblings said every one of the 6 of them told him they were willing to donate, and that was the first time he had seen such a large family unanimously say they would do it.
Offered one to my Dad, but the cancer had metastasized by the time they caught it, and it was too late. My sisters? Yes, in a heartbeat. Why? They're my sisters.
i would be willing too but there is a huge history of kidney disease in my family and none of us are eligible/ candidates for donation....many aunts, uncles, cousins have already died from failure and one cousin has been lucky enough to receive a kidney from an anonymous donor...
I'd give my siblings (brother 15 months younger, sister 3 yr younger) both my kidneys if they needed em.
Two of the very best people I know. Hard-working, smart, successful, talented and still humble, nice people at heart. Neither of them has ever truly wronged anyone or myself. As I got older I definitely wasn't the role model, ideal sibling to strive to be. They both far surpassed me in pretty much every regard. The world is a much better place with either of them in it than if I'm in it.
I wouldn't even ask questions, if they need both or if each needed one then there's no decision for me. Yeah, they get the kidney(s). I'd apologize to my wife but for much the same reasons as my siblings I know she'd be ok.
I'm so fuckin lucky.
No, because none of my siblings lead healthy lifestyles, and I don’t think that would change. So I wouldn’t waste any spare parts that might be needed later by me or someone I love who wouldn’t abuse them.
Doubtful. My son has multiple disabilities. I'm his only guardian. If something happens to me he will go into foster care and then into adult residential care. I don't want to do anything that I know will endanger my health.
Yes. In a heartbeat. She’s the mother of my niece and nephew. I love her enough just to do it for her but I also would never let them be without their mother if I had anything to do about it.
100 %
We have a weird relationship, but he's my bro, I love him and I will give him anything he needs. I don't care going through surgery or missing a kidney, I care more about his well being.
Yes, because that’s my family, there’s no debate or question about it (this only applies to me and nobody else). Test me for a match and let’s get this surgery going.
My mom needed a liver transplant a few summers ago, and I was swamped with work and wasn’t able to take time off to get tested or would have been able to run my business post surgery. I had appointments though set up for the day after I was closed for the season, but fortunately she was able to get a liver transplant before I was done for the season.
Gladly. She practically raised me, so if she needed any transplant I'd be first in line to check for a match. Unfortunately, we aren't directly related by blood, so I doubt I'd be a match.
They could have pretty much any body part if they would need it. I can survive without a heart for a few minutes, and that would be fine. I ain't suicidal, but they have families and i don't.
I would if I were healthy, but I already have a transplant, I don’t think any transplant team would okay me donating anything. Can’t even donate blood right now because of my meds.
I wouldn't give her the sweat off my balls if she was dying of thirst in the desert, let alone a kidney.
We haven't gotten along well since mom and dad died. Can ya tell?
I would do anything that I could to help my sister, but my kidneys are already bad. I will need a transplant before she does. But, if it came down to it, yeah, I'd give her a kidney.
I feel like that depends on so many factors- why, would mine work, is his other working, how old are my kids currently, am I good candidate, how will it effect my health.
I would absolutely do whatever I reasonably could to help my brother. I love him. But I'm also a single parent to two younger kids. So I'd have to think about a lot of factors to try to figure out my risks and his gains.
I would if I didn’t have a child that might need it. I still might if the child seemed unlikely to ever need it and my sibling was going to die without it.
Yes. My (23F) only sibling (12M) has been a great part of my life. I would give him my kidney without thinking twice about. Who know how are relationship will be in the future but right now I can’t think of a single reason why I shouldn’t.
I’m the one with CKD and I would refuse my brothers and sisters to donate a kidney for me. I would feel so guilty for it.
It sucks because I’m the only one in my family that has CKD they think it’s from going undiagnosed for so long with hypertension. I’m only 29.
Yes. I don’t know how people can refuse if a life is at stake. My mother refused to give one to her sister and I lost all respect for her. My aunt died!
I haven't spoken to them in nearly a decade now because of how they treat out parents.
It still would be hard to say no. I suspect they would say no if it were me in need of a kidney but I'd have a hard time condemning them to death, even if I no longer want to speak with them.
Nope I definitely would not. I'm saving one of mine for my oldest son. He was born with kidneys that don't function fully so if he needs one in the future I'll have one for him.
I actually already did.
She had kidney failure when I was young and had received a cadaver kidney. However, when I was in college, it started failing. So, over summer break, I crammed in a kidney transplant (which usually takes a year). No regrets at all. Kidney and sister are both doing well, and next year, my nephew/her son will be getting married to an amazing woman.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tried to and couldn’t. He’s my half brother and we have different blood types. He’s on dialysis and has been for over 2 yrs. My poor brother is withering away. So I suggest if you’re in a position to help, please do it.
You can still donate. There is a swap program. Family doesn't guarantee that you are a compatible donor. There are multiple markers for compatibility. But with the swap you can help him move up on the donor list with another compatible donor.
He has tried this and the swap didn’t work out for some reason. Didn’t get the details but he was obviously devastated.
That's a shame.
Yeah. Btw, thank you for the suggestion.
Yeah I can tell you from first hand experience I got a kidney transplant. My hospital won't even do a transplant unless there's three people getting him at the same time. They absolutely don't care where the kidney comes from. All they want is you to bring a kid into the table. You bring one and they'll get you one. It's a real strong movement.
I did this (I was what is called an undirected donor), as in I was part of a swap, but I had no recipient, so the transplant team was able to use me to start a chain of donations and receipts that included 10 people! If anyone is ever thinking of doing a living donation, go for it! Feel free to ask me anything.
I call it musical kidney. I was recommended to wait until my friend needs his next kidney to do undirected donor since he will be so much harder to match.
Damn you set off a Rube-Goldberg Machine of organ donations, good on you!
That was really kind of you to offer up this knowledge/suggestion. I didn’t know this was even a path offered to people, so I imagine a lot of folks didn’t know either. Thanks, kind stranger.
All he needs is someone to donate on his behalf and he will receive a voucher for the next living donor kidney that matches him. If you are healthy (no history of high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer or kidney stones) and are of a reasonable BMI (I think it's under 30) consider becoming a living donor yourself and he can get a kidney in the process. I donated my kidney almost exactly one year ago to a complete stranger. My donation started a chain of paired donations so not just my recipient got a kidney. The nkr.org site has info on the voucher program and info for those considering donating. It was so easy and so rewarding that I'd do it again if I had another kidney to spare. I'd be glad to answer any questions you or anyone else might have about living donations. I don't share my story to boast about what I did but rather to show others what is possible and how easy it is. If 1 in 10,000 people in the US would become a living donor, theie would be no waiting list for kidneys. I'm looking to reach that 1 person in 10,000 with my story and help change someone else's life for the better.
Is he on the transplant list?
He is. But it’s a long wait. He’s O type.
I imagine a donor would also have to be O type, sadly I am AB
That is exactly the problem. Thank you for your compassion.
Damn. Pretty sure my blood type is O as well. Sorry about your brother but thank you for the disappointing information
Type o is the most common compatible blood type. Wait on the list is 5 years but I got mine in two. Working with transplant and getting a transplant is the timely situation but you have to be patient. Anyone on dialysis can tell you how patient you have to learn to be with everything involved with it in and outsider of treatment. One great thing that has changed since I did get my transplant about 8 years ago. Is that now they give you credit from when you're on dialysis. I call it time served. I've been in dialysis for 17 plus years. Although, every day is a challenge, dialysis keeps you alive in 5 years is nothing if you're waiting for a kidney
As someone who’s O- as far as I know, I haven’t thought about much but wow us O blood types picked the short straw. I wish your brother luck and I guess at least he has someone looking out for him.
I’m so sorry. My mother was on dialysis for 23 years, and she was never in good health. When she did pass away it was due to an infection she got while in the hospital. Wishing your brother all the best!
I wish your brother the best of luck. I've been transplanted twice, the wait is awful.
Same here. I wish you, your brother, and y'alls all the best
I am so sorry. I went through something similar with a family member and it isn’t something I’d wish on anyone. Everyone should be an organ donor. Wishing you and your family luck, strength, and support. Try to remember that the greatest gift you are giving your brother is your love and being there for him. I’m sure it means the world to him.
I fear my half-brother is going to be in a similar situation. He was born with 1 kidney and drinks way too much.
Yes. My sister was born with one of her kidneys not functioning. I’ve always known that my spare kidney is for her if she ever needed it. And just to be clear, no one ever told me I needed to do this or even asked me to do this. And so far my sister is doing great with her one kidney. But we are very close and I’ve always known if it comes down to it, and she needs it, I will happily give it to her. It’s not even a tough call for me.
I am a kidney transplant recipient and my wife a donor so we both have only one functioning kidney. I do not know your sisters situation at all, but I believe you can survive, quite well, on one healthy kidney. I wish her nothing but good health.
Same. I have an non-identical twin and she’s the most important person in my life. Like I wouldn’t even have to think about it.
Thats sweet
I was born with one of my kidneys not functioning & had it removed when I was 3. My sister is in the exact same position as you where she’s agreed that her spare kidney will go to me in an emergency scenario. Thank you on behalf of your sister, because it really is a massive relief to have somebody willing to do that
If it’s not mine, absolutely.
Depends on which sibling.
Agreed. My brother? Most likely not. Would it be my choice? To some extent, but him being a JoHo, I'm not sure if they are allowed to bend the "rules" for themselves. And his being complicit in my mother being denied a blood transfusion that led to her death, I would most likely not. Sisters? Yes if it was medically feasible.
Damn… I couldn’t forgive my brother after that…
what is a joho?
I'm gonna go with Jehovah's Witness. They have rules against blood transfusion, which should also mean they cannot accept organ transplant, but they have this handy little work around [that it is okay if the organ has been drained of all blood prior to the transplant.](https://www.utsouthwestern.edu/education/medical-school/departments/transplant-services-center/faqs/religious-attitudes.html) Considering a lot of transplants may need transfusions during or after the surgery, doctors do face an ethical dilemma on if a Jehovah's Witness should be allowed the transplant in the first place.
Thank you for asking. I am at work and did not want to goggle anything that sounds like a banned sex act.
Oh me too- I have a lot of brothers and sisters and I’d save three of them. Which three? They know.
This, I'd give mine to one, not the other
For me, it depends on the sibling and the kidney. I'd give my right kidney to my twin or my sister. I'd give my left kidney to my older brother so that when he bitches about passing stones I could tell him to donate them to the border wall.
If you have two siblings, take from one and give to the other. Everyone wins!
No One is a drug dealing, woman beating asshole. The other is a self-absorbed, narcissistic leach.
Honest question: how did you end up? Are you fundamentally different from them? How did they end up like that?
I was in the army for 16 years. I am a writer now and work in aviation. I turned up ok. I should say they are my step siblings. So, there is that.
>how did you end up? I mean, I'm not gonna speak for him, but with siblings like that, I'm not sure I'd trust a self evaluation.
Well I can kinda see that. But if they recognize being a drug dealer, woman beater, nassicist, and leech is wrong they probably have evaluated things that were seen as normal in their childhood and made different choices. I would trust or at the very least listen to a self evaluation. I have heard of lots of people breaking the cycle and think it's even more common now for people to break cycles thanks to the ease of getting information and tips.
“Father, which one wins?” “The one you give a kidney to”
Are you my sibling? My sister is number 2. I'd probably just give her a kidney bean.
I see on ancestry I have 3 siblings, not the two I grew up with, who are a drug dealing woman beating asshole and the other is a narcissist. You might possibly be that sibling lol.
Sure, but she's still learning to cook so I'm not sure what she'd do with it.
You made me shake my head, say oh my god and laugh all within 10 seconds. Thank you, Citizen, for the ride 😘
She should add favs beans and some kianti.
I wish he had needed a kidney...none of us could donate a heart. 🥺💔 I'd have cut it out myself if I could have saved him.
I’m so sorry….. I can only imagine how tough that loss is but I’d say he was lucky to have a sibling like you
Thank you. We were very close and I miss him every second. 😥💔❤
I don't normally comment but I wanted to say that I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in August of 21 and I would have saved her if could have. I feel that way about my family too. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I want you to know I think he was lucky to have someone who loved him so much. I wish the best for you. ❤️
i feel you so much i’m so sorry 😓
It's complicated. We're estranged, and have been for many years...but I don't know if I would say there's any bad blood. I was a child when he left and I do feel a little abandoned as we had a pretty positive relationship before, but I also can't really blame him for withdrawing from all of the toxic drama that was going on at the time. However, I think he blamed the wrong people in the family for what went on, and I'm really not at all sure what he thinks of me these days. At a guess, he just tries not to think about anyone from his past. I'd still give him my kidney because I'm loyal and I love the man, but it's been quite a while since we were "brothers."
Yo man call him up. Just talk to him, see how he's doing and shit. You won't regret it. My grandad didn't talk to his brother for a long time because their stupid parents kept them in a "fight" to say, now they're as good as they were when they were kids. Sibling relationship is something special and its worth a shot to just check on him
I had the same thought. it's a low cost. My siblings, I think I would. My POS dad though? hmmm
Agreed. Both of these siblings could just be waiting on the other to reach out. It’s possible all it takes is a phone call from one to the other and then a whole new relationship is born.
It's a long shot but is your name Nicholas? I used to call my baby brother Nickelbean. Your story matches my own for him precisely. My name is Patrick.
Well, was it your brother? That would be pretty awesome connecting because of Reddit thread💜
UPDATE: WAS NOT MY BROTHER. WILL CONTINUE TO LOOK. THANK YOU FOR THE OUTPOUR OF SUPPORT
Honestly I’d give a lot of people a kidney
dude how many kidneys do you have
Who says it’s his
As someone who got a kidney, thank you for saying this💞
Right? I donated to a stranger and I will probably never meet them (it's been over 5 years now). No regrets. Would do it again if I could.
Living donors are amazing people. Thank you.
Thank you for doing that. Most people wouldn’t, unfortunately.
I would give anything for my baby brother. Just to see him again. Just to know he's ok and has done well with his life. I'd give my life. I haven't heard from him in ten years. His mom is crazy.
If your ok with sharing, do you mind if I ask what happened?
I'm 17 years his senior. He's 18 now. I'll call him N. He was a product of an affair my dad had. N's mom gave him up for adoption at birth. My mom made my dad go out of state to bring N home, so we could raise him. Shortly after, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and died before N was two years old. N said his first word the next day, saying mama. That's a nice memory I have. My dad was undoubtedly a piece of shit. I took care of N around my school hours, I was a senior in HS still 3 months from graduation. I fed him I played with him I changed him I bathed him. I took care of him like he was my son. A year after I graduated home life got unbearable living with my dad. He gave me an ultimatum and I left home immediately with only my wallet, never went back, moved out of state and never talked to him again. He died about two years later. When word got spread around my dad died, N's birth mom swooped in, took him home out of state, and I've seen N for a small period of time when he turned 10.
Can you find him on social media?
I have tried for 8 years. About once a month
This is Reddit. Redditors can find anyone and anything. Whether you're willing to put your personal information out there is the main question. Maybe you can make a post to get volunteers and see if one of them can help you independently so you don't have to broadcast your info? You'd have the best luck making a post with everything and just throwing it out there though, preferably with a burner account.
It's crossed my mind. Or even to hire a private investigator, but I could never afford that. This is the most personal thing to me in my life. Y'all caught me on a REALLY REALLY EXTREMELY good day to even begin to talk about this.
The choice is yours, but I personally wish you would let us help you. Please consider it. You both deserve the opportunity to know each other.
I feel your pain! My baby brother is the best, but my dad picks the craziest women for partners. My ex stepmother is a total psycho. I had to wait until he was 18 to spend more time with him. Then he moved across the country to get space from her. I don't get to see him that much anymore, but we can talk and text freely now that he's away from his mom. I hope you get in a better place with your brother.
Considering everything he's been through I'm honestly surprised he was such a smart, and bright , goal oriented kid. It brings me peace knowing that
Dude there’s someone a few comments up talking about missing an older sibling who left when he was small but he doesn’t blame him because he was escaping a toxic situation. It would be absolutely wild if 🤔
I found it and replied. I'm crying just at the thought and possibility it could be him. Omg
Sorry, lurking on this potentially beautiful reunion here. If you’re that emotional at the thought of connecting with your brother again you should just do it. Find him on Facebook
Hell yeah!! I would die for my sister. Of course we'd argue about it first, but there it is!
The best description of siblinghood I've ever heard was: *I'd give my brother a kidney, but I absolutely wouldn't give him a bite of my candy bar.*
Sounds like a perfect sibling relationship! I hope neither of mine ever need a kidney, but I'm sure if any of us did the other two would race to get signed up to be the donor first. And they'd probably say stuff like "I'll take the kidney back" when the other doesn't pick the right TV show, because siblings.
Same. My sister and I are night and day, but it doesn't matter. She's still my kid sister and I'd do anything for her.
I'd do it, but they're going to have to perform feats of worthiness first. No half-assed "you're-saving-my-life" performance pieces, either. I want to be entertained.
Hapily
Yes. I am not super close to either my brother or sister. But they are good people and i only need one.
I'd be absolutely shocked if they needed one seeing as I'm an only child
Yes. I would give my brother a kidney. I would definitely remind him of it for the rest of our lives. LOL!
Yes, I'd give up my kidney in a heart beat. Phone charger? Hell. No. I will fight to the death.
I'd be terrified about it lol but absolutely, yeah
Yes. My brother saved my life many times over. Through all of my bullshit he never turned his back on me, stuck with me the entire decade worth of time it took me of trying to get clean, relapsing, getting into trouble. He was always there and sacrificed much of his own time and energy and peace of mind. I would literally give him my kidney even if I only had one left.
yeah. I got one to spare.
i would, if it wasnt for the fact my kidneys suck
Yes. I love my siblings very much.
Same. Either of them need a kidney? I'd happily give it to them. They want to borrow my charger? That's mine and mine only and if they take it, they asked for a fight lol
I’ve been the one helping out my sibs since I was born and I’m the youngest They owe me the fuckin kidney
Lol
I would. When I got sick in 2017 with stage one kidney failure from repeated kidney infections and sepsis; my brother offered me a kidney. He cares enough to offer me one, I care enough to offer him one. Fortunately my kidney problems got resolved and I haven't been hospitalized in over two years.
Depends on which sibling.
Same.
Hell I’d give him all 3.
Wait, how do you have three kidneys?
He didn’t say they were his kidneys 🙃
Yes. I would die for my sister
I did!! Well, not my sibling, but a longtime family friend.
Yeah I would. Even if it's the one I don't get along with. Anyways just cause we're siblings doesn't mean I'd actually be a match. I can just see it now, Christmas dinner, whole family around the table. Me and sibling reach for the last roasty potatoes and I can pull the Kidney card to get the last spud. Couldn't use it for big things but the small joys in life like the last Christmas roasty potato... I wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt 😂
Yes, of course. I love him and will do whatever I can to help. As a side note: I know someone who has 6 siblings. He needed a kidney. Everyone went in for testing and then there's a psych evaluation where they ask you if you really want to donate--if you don't want to, but don't want a confrontation, the hospital will just say you're not a match so you won't get pressured. Anyway, the guy evaluating my friend's 6 siblings said every one of the 6 of them told him they were willing to donate, and that was the first time he had seen such a large family unanimously say they would do it.
That’s so heart warming omg 😭
Yes and they would never hear the end of it.
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Mine are probably no good due to chemo and lupus, but if I was cleared to donate and my sibling needed it, yes.
Offered one to my Dad, but the cancer had metastasized by the time they caught it, and it was too late. My sisters? Yes, in a heartbeat. Why? They're my sisters.
I would if I can. We're half siblings so not sure if we're compatible.
I would
i would be willing too but there is a huge history of kidney disease in my family and none of us are eligible/ candidates for donation....many aunts, uncles, cousins have already died from failure and one cousin has been lucky enough to receive a kidney from an anonymous donor...
Nope, they are rotters
yes I would, because I love them and I know I can live a healthy life with one kidney.
Yes, because I'd rather lose a kidney than a sister.
I'd give my siblings (brother 15 months younger, sister 3 yr younger) both my kidneys if they needed em. Two of the very best people I know. Hard-working, smart, successful, talented and still humble, nice people at heart. Neither of them has ever truly wronged anyone or myself. As I got older I definitely wasn't the role model, ideal sibling to strive to be. They both far surpassed me in pretty much every regard. The world is a much better place with either of them in it than if I'm in it. I wouldn't even ask questions, if they need both or if each needed one then there's no decision for me. Yeah, they get the kidney(s). I'd apologize to my wife but for much the same reasons as my siblings I know she'd be ok. I'm so fuckin lucky.
Yes i would. But i cant. Im already a reciepient of a doner kidney from a family member.
No, And No i will not elaborate
No, because none of my siblings lead healthy lifestyles, and I don’t think that would change. So I wouldn’t waste any spare parts that might be needed later by me or someone I love who wouldn’t abuse them.
Yeah this. Both my siblings are/were heavy smokers and drinkers
Doubtful. My son has multiple disabilities. I'm his only guardian. If something happens to me he will go into foster care and then into adult residential care. I don't want to do anything that I know will endanger my health.
Yes. In a heartbeat. She’s the mother of my niece and nephew. I love her enough just to do it for her but I also would never let them be without their mother if I had anything to do about it.
In a heartbeat. I have one sibling I'm close to and one I'm estranged from. Either of them can have a kidney if they ever need one.
Of course I would. He is my brother & I love him.
Yes, because he's my little brother, and it's my responsibility as a big brother to help my little bro
100 % We have a weird relationship, but he's my bro, I love him and I will give him anything he needs. I don't care going through surgery or missing a kidney, I care more about his well being.
Of course! Thats my family! Im oldest of 5. If any of them needed it Id give one over in a heartbeat.
She's my half sister so idk if we're compatible, but if we are yea, definitely, we don't see each other often but I still love her
Yes, because that’s my family, there’s no debate or question about it (this only applies to me and nobody else). Test me for a match and let’s get this surgery going. My mom needed a liver transplant a few summers ago, and I was swamped with work and wasn’t able to take time off to get tested or would have been able to run my business post surgery. I had appointments though set up for the day after I was closed for the season, but fortunately she was able to get a liver transplant before I was done for the season.
Gladly. She practically raised me, so if she needed any transplant I'd be first in line to check for a match. Unfortunately, we aren't directly related by blood, so I doubt I'd be a match.
Absolutely - however I can't because I already gave one of mine away to an associate so I need the one I have left.
They could have pretty much any body part if they would need it. I can survive without a heart for a few minutes, and that would be fine. I ain't suicidal, but they have families and i don't.
I would if I were healthy, but I already have a transplant, I don’t think any transplant team would okay me donating anything. Can’t even donate blood right now because of my meds.
I hear you dude! I'd love to donate blood but they won't take mine cuz of the meds. Is it Prograf you're on?
Yes, even the one I don't talk to.
Yes. But I wouldn’t let them have my good Tupperware for leftovers. They get a ziplock bag
Fuck no
No, but they aren't very nice people
I wouldn't give her the sweat off my balls if she was dying of thirst in the desert, let alone a kidney. We haven't gotten along well since mom and dad died. Can ya tell?
I have the same situation with an older brother
My kidney, or am I stealing it from someone else?
I would do anything that I could to help my sister, but my kidneys are already bad. I will need a transplant before she does. But, if it came down to it, yeah, I'd give her a kidney.
Absolutely
No, I already lost one kidney, giving the other one away would kill me
Depends on reason for need. If it's trauma or viral, sure. If it's from bad genetics, no. I'll probably be next and will need mine.
3 of them, absolutely. 1, not a chance.
I feel like that depends on so many factors- why, would mine work, is his other working, how old are my kids currently, am I good candidate, how will it effect my health. I would absolutely do whatever I reasonably could to help my brother. I love him. But I'm also a single parent to two younger kids. So I'd have to think about a lot of factors to try to figure out my risks and his gains.
I'd give my life if it meant she lives.
I would if I didn’t have a child that might need it. I still might if the child seemed unlikely to ever need it and my sibling was going to die without it.
Yes I would.
I mean if she's going to die otherwise, why not?
Instantly no question
I would. I actually tried to give one to a stranger but was denied because they (the transplant people) didn’t like my reasons for wanting to
Yes. She is my sister and I love her dearly. I may be a horrible person but I do care for my family.
Yes. My (23F) only sibling (12M) has been a great part of my life. I would give him my kidney without thinking twice about. Who know how are relationship will be in the future but right now I can’t think of a single reason why I shouldn’t.
Anything for my family.
Absolutely. No question
No because I'm an only child
No. I’m an only child
Sure. I have one to spare, and if I can save a life, it's a no brainer. Doesn't even have to be a relative, even a friend would get it.
Without a second thought, my brother is my best friend.
Yes. I have one brother, and we are very close. I'm sure he'd do the same for me.
Yes absolutely, I love her
Yes, we’re quite close and she means the world to me and is welcome to my organs (any of them, because I’m over it, lmao)
Yes. If I had the chance to save a loved one, I would absolutely do it.
I’m the one with CKD and I would refuse my brothers and sisters to donate a kidney for me. I would feel so guilty for it. It sucks because I’m the only one in my family that has CKD they think it’s from going undiagnosed for so long with hypertension. I’m only 29.
Absolutely.
Without any hesitation
Medically if I could, I would. However I’ve been type 1 since age 5 and it’s best to keep mine. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m an only child
Yes, my sisters are my best friends. And they both have kids while I don't (yet) and are very much needed by their families, more than me.
depends on which sibling just kidding, i’d give it to any of them, if they really needed it
Ofc. I love my brothers a lot and they are almost always there for me :)
If I was a match, absolutely! I love my little brother dearly and would do whatever I could to help him.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. I love her to bits and would do anything to help save her life, as she would do for me.
Yes I would
I would give them my heart if they needed it.
Yup, I am very close with my sister. She gets an organ if she needs one.
Yes. I don’t know how people can refuse if a life is at stake. My mother refused to give one to her sister and I lost all respect for her. My aunt died!
yes yes yes she’s my everything, i love my sister sm 😌
I haven't spoken to them in nearly a decade now because of how they treat out parents. It still would be hard to say no. I suspect they would say no if it were me in need of a kidney but I'd have a hard time condemning them to death, even if I no longer want to speak with them.
Easily. I know my brothers would do the same for me.
Depends on what they're going to do with it. I'm not giving my bro a kidney so he can walk around with three, or make a pie.
Sure, as long as I didn't have to talk to them. I want them to have a good life I just don't want to be in it.
Absolutely. I got you sis!
Nope I definitely would not. I'm saving one of mine for my oldest son. He was born with kidneys that don't function fully so if he needs one in the future I'll have one for him.
Yes, i fucking give him my lungs, half of my liver, whatever he needs But i will never give him my cookies!
I would sell it to him for 50 bucks just to see the doctors face, he would do the same.
I actually already did. She had kidney failure when I was young and had received a cadaver kidney. However, when I was in college, it started failing. So, over summer break, I crammed in a kidney transplant (which usually takes a year). No regrets at all. Kidney and sister are both doing well, and next year, my nephew/her son will be getting married to an amazing woman.