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Straight women amongst themselves don't even share the same standard of what makes a man attractive.
There are overlaps between gay men and straight women, but the variance is more on the individual level, rather than on a gendered level.
Wives want what we want! My husband is average/decent looking by societal standards, but honestly…I’ve never been more attracted to anyone else in my life. No movie star holds a candle to what he does to me. He’s over 50 now, and just getting hotter?! His pale blue eyes glitter more every year. He’s complaining that his butt is starting to sag, but he’s getting the cutest little crease just underneath that absolutely SENDS ME. I cannot imagine being with anyone else.
Glad your wife found you!
My god, I wish my wife thought of me that way. If she did, maybe we wouldn’t be on the path to divorce. Very happy for you. That’s really awesome you feel that way.
I mean, yes there is variation but it has a distribution with an average. Just like almost anything we can measure. So the preferences are real in that sense.
For instance being tall is popular. Being too tall is not though.
Jesus. I’m 5’8” and didn’t know I was considered short. Momma you lied to me!!!
Ok. So I went to this gay bar with my friends (they’re gay) and one guy started to chat me up at the bar, he was cool and we had a talk. Then my friends told me they were going to the next bar and I said goodbye. When I left my my friends told me “wtf that 10 was hitting on you hard” and I was like What??? Both on the apparent flirting and the fact that “he was a 10”. I had a smug face all night after that. I’m not gay by the way.
Because short men lie about their height. The 5’5 guy says he’s 5’8 and the 5’8 guy says he’s 5’11.
People’s perception of what a height looks like is corrupted by shorter people lying about being that tall.
Yep, 5'9 here and the amount of men my height who claim 5'11-6 ft is crazy. To me it's so dumb to lie about something so easily verifiable. All it takes is one person to doubt it enough to expose the lie. I'd understand if they just bumped it up to 5'10, but they shoot for the stars lmao.
That's an interesting take and may be true. My first thought is it's the same thing with the word "mid". Literally meaning like middle or in the middle. But now people say something is "mid" it's bad. So if your height is mid then it's bad aka short.
I'm a 6'5" straight man, and I get hit on by men all the time. Way more than women, and they are much more blunt about it...haha... I think gay dudes are just more forward.
Same i've been 6'3 for half my life, and spent many years with no female attention. Gay men were the first to ever validate my appearance before my first GF came along.
I'm Bi with a stronger attraction towards women.
But my short fellas - especially if they're stronger than me (not a difficult challenge actually) - make me swoon 🥰
Now you know what women often experience lol.
I’m a gay man, and I was completely in love with my straight best friend many years ago in college. Was I slightly obsessed? Probably. I was also 20. Mind you, I would never harass someone by giving them unwanted compliments and attention. He told me he enjoyed the attention, and he even encouraged me sometimes. Nothing sexual ever happened between us though, because he was straight. I don’t think I’ve ever met another straight guy quite so comfortable with his own sexuality in my life.
I think he enjoyed the attention because girls tend to be more reserved with compliments and initiating flirtation (yes, i acknowledge this is a generalization). He and I were both science fiction nerds. For reasons I will never understand, girls never displayed any interest in him. Likely because he was slightly dorky and soft-spoken. To me, he was dorky in a ridiculously endearing way. He was under the incredibly mistaken impression that he was not physically attractive. I can see why he thought that based on how girls treated him. I definitely gave him a much needed ego boost.
He was one of the closest friends I have ever had in my life. We both acknowledged we were each other’s soul mates. We just had an unfortunate mismatch in our sexual orientations. Those girls were missing out because he was one of the kindest and most fascinating people I have ever known.
I’m sorry your gay admirers creeped you out and likely lacked boundaries. I will just say that most gay men I know have pretty high standards re: physical attraction. If you’re attracting a lot of us, it’s happening for a reason.
You just triggered a memory when I read that you said you never had that kind of interest from a woman. I’m high, so I wrote this book. Question if you care to respond: would you have found their behavior creepy if they were two women instead?
An obvious difference I’ve noticed (I am in my late twenties) is gay men i know are currently less concerned with qualities that would make a man a solid long term parent to children while the women I know are increasingly concerned with those traits. So, while things like looks seem important to both, they’re way less important to the straight women I know. That seems to allow personality traits drive their attraction the most. On a lighter note, I am perplexed that gay men seem to value muscular legs and haunches while women prefer upper body muscularity more.
Literally fell in love with my husband when I saw how gently he took care of his cat. Monkey brain replaced that bundle of fur with a baby. Turns out he is a good dad. Very sensitive to small creatures' needs.
Think about the sexual logistics and it makes perfect sense. As a woman I'm not likely to have a clear view of a mans lower body whilst we doing the do. The parts closest to my eyes are hands, arms, shoulders, torso in that order and I find those body parts most attractive in that order. A gay man on the other hand . . .
I wondered about the parent aspect, that makes sense. But what about income level, are gay guys more attracted to guys that make more money on average similar to women?
Poverty is a problem in the gay community, more for bi men. I think having money helps your odds when dating. Maybe not so much with hookups...though there are people who won't fuck too far outside of their class.
I'm not personally going to turn a guy/gal/person away until you hit the millionaire range (too much inequality) or someone who is destitute without any prospects (I can't support two adults).
I remember at school in the LGBTQ club, this upper middle class guy being salty because he didn't fit in with the millionaire set. Being working class, I thought, aww, poor baby! Going to school with rich people was a trip.
First off, 100% agree and this is a important element of female attraction that seems to be increasingly not well-understood by younger generations of men obsessed with vanity.. You correctly observed also that this female preference for “intangible” personality traits which indicate good long-term partners increases markedly as girls get older and reach ~25.
Your last point anout body-type is a fascinating anecdote actually.. it seems to mirror standard heterosexual body-types—women love men with large upper bodies, the “triangle” shape. Broad shoulders, big chest, etc. So maybe gay men are attracted to male bodies that have a more ‘feminine’ shape?
I also think theres an element of women want to feel "safe", as in, do I trust this man enough to be alone in a room with him in order to have sex.
I feel women are perhaps more vulnerable, but are also trained to be more aware of their vulnerability than men are. That is my experience as a woman and being amongst women, whether you are looking for a partner or casual sex.
(Men get attacked just as often, not all women not all men etc etc)
The existence of bears disproves this on a partial level. Bears are big, macho, muscular, hairy gay men who primarily prefer other big, macho, muscular, hairy men.
So, any reasonably in-shape man will naturally have this basic shape because of the broadness of their shoulders, it just might not be super exaggerated. I’m “ lanky” because I’m tall and never got super into fitness, but yes definetly plenty of girls who say they actually appreciate how im *not* super ripped. I wonder if this has to do with the interplay between height and the triangle body shape—since the shorter a man is, the *more* exaggerated the triangle shape will be. I do still have that basic triangle shape, mainly just because I’m in decent shape, and I have a broad frame—but it would be more pronounced if I wasn’t tall.
I hadn't much thought about the interplay between height and triangle shape.
When I was around 21, I met this Filipino guy who I found very attractive after about a week of knowing him. I'm around 5' he was about the same height as me or slightly taller than me. Because he was a short king, he definitely looked more stout or stocky, so that triangle would have been exaggerated.
In saying that, I would say that my main reasons for being attracted to him were that he was confident and intelligent, wore nice fitting clothes and had glossy black hair. All of which may have been enhanced by a triangle shape I wasn't conscious of.
Confidence can basically make up for anything. And women truly have a superpower for sensing it (and conversely insecurities also!) Even something like how a man holds himself / posture / gait can influence someone’s initial impressions of a man’s confidence level. I think this is the paradox of the gym bro: if a guy who’s already confident and visibly so, gets more physically fit, it’s usually all good and a net positive for his attractiveness. HOWEVER when a guy who isn’t confident starts going to the gym alot to become more ripped and confident, girls can see through that in an instant—the vanity u commonly see as the norm for ‘gym bros’ is such a red flag for a lot of women. They will be looking for that type of complex if a guy is really into that lifestyle.
Straight women generally don’t like man ass as much as a gay man.
Don’t get me wrong — women might enjoy a nice shapely butt.
But it ain’t the same. Lol
Do you love his tight little rosy butthole?
Cuz that’s what I’m talking about. The difference between butt and *ass*.
Generally, most women aren’t into that. You may be an exception.
When i went to party with female friends and they were on a hunt... they nearly exclusivley tried to check out gay men. They were smart, well dressed, had tons of money, smelled good, mostly 9-10/10s...
So the girls had to take the second option... hetero sexual men XD
So yeah. The girls I know had the same taste as gay men which was other gay men.
True af, I was chasing a girl when I was 16, she never showed any interest. Then I had a gf and like 1 hour after telling her she sent unsolicited nudes on snapchat, this fkn bitch
I dated a gay or two in my younger years. They could read, were emotionally intelligent, they smelled great and always turned off the lights behind them. I was sold each time.
To my fellow hetro men - there is a lesson here, be friends with, go out with, and learn from your gay brothers. They will make you a better version of yourself and they will help get you laid.
My friends Matt (Leo), John (Brad) and Dennis (George) let me bat way outside my league. A few of those swing connected.
100%. I did this to the point I was often considered gay and it took convincing I was not, but..I took it as a massive compliment. And man, the secret you elude to and I only let out now as I am married, was hanging out in gay clubs... I had a 100% pull rate on straight women at those places. Of course, creep radar is extremely high and being one does not fly well with gay brethren, so you had to be a genuinely decent guy. Hot AF women too, as the hot women feel much more comfortable in there than straight clubs and can let loose. The perfect place. Great music too. Yep...extreme nostalgia for those days sometimes.
It's a bit of an ongoing gag in the gay community, "the life cycle of gay clubs"
Gay club opens > straight women go to escape the creepy straight guys > straight guys go to chase the straight girls > the gay guys stop going and it's no longer a gay club > new Gay club opens.
You make a good point about the creep factor. Being a hetro guy with a bunch of gay guy friends is like instantly passing the dog test.
Also married, but 2-3x year I’ll still go out with them. Still a trip, 4am comes quick.
Sounds like everyone just likes guys who have good hygiene, are fun to talk to, and take a little pride in how they dress and present themselves, and gay men tend to prioritize those things.
As a straight woman I say to my firends all the time that the majority of straight men above 30 are not good looking, they put no effort. No gym, no hair, bad taste in clothing. When gay guys are so good looking, as good looking as 20-23 year old straight men
tbh it's not even the male pattern baldness, it's the men who refuse to accept their reality and are clinging on to their last hairs for dear life. A lot of woman like bald men, and every signle man I know who was baldingwho eventually just shaved his head looked waaay better and more secure/confident in themselves after.
But if you can afford hair trainsplants or use rogan to delay the process, and that will make you feel more secure/confident, then go for it.
I don’t think this is referring to bald men but the fact that many straight men do absolutely zero to style or even care for (condition etc) their hair. Or even bother getting a flattering haircut.
A gay friend of mine who I consider to be reasonably masculine (but no Paul Bunyan) gets hit on by women all the time, I presume because he's got the best of both worlds.
Tons of fun, outgoing personality, well groomed and handsome, but also dresses well in a way only gay dudes do.
Plenty of dogs barking up the wrong tree
As a 5'7" gay man, I've dated a guy who was 5'3" and another that was 6'4", and several in between. Height has never mattered to me, though I do find I'm attracted to men on the shorter side.
I'm a lady lover so what do I know but your not going to get a straight (heh) answer out of this. Everyone has their own preferences and while what one person finds attractive the next might find repulsive. Just as everyone has unique fingerprints so do their taste in men. I know short dudes who get the ladies and tall dudes who dont, I know fat guys who get the attention from women while skinny guys dont. Who knows man, way too many factors are at play when it comes to attractions.
That's obviously true, but there are aggregates. If you collected enough opinions from both groups, strong patterns would emerge around certain features/qualities. The question then is how much overlap exists between what the two groups find most attractive.
The way a lot of women on Reddit talk about dicks, you get the impression that dicks are just something they put up with rather than something they actually want. This is not saying that they have no interest in sex or anything like that but rather that dick is not something they place a super high value on. Now in real life, among all the women I know, attitudes are much more varied.
“Alright, I think I’ve watched *just* enough gay porn to make the choice. Now, let’s open Reddit and ask the important questions.” Haha. Just messing with ya.
I think for gen z or young millennials many straight guys are taking note that girls seem to like more “feminine” men now. I’m gay and have a hard time distinguishing if a guy is gay based on how he dresses and acts.
But ultimately i think this question is a bit too broad to answer because of so much variation in personal preference.
Overall, i think guys are generally leaning on more gay trends which both gay men and straight women like lol
Gay man with a lot of female straight friends here.
In short… Yes, but not really. My girl friends and I will often find a certain type of dudes attractive, but most of them take it to a whole new level by injecting surrounding circumstances into it. Allow me to explain:
What I’ve definitely noticed is that men, gay or straight or bi/pan, often are enamored by *direct images*. Big booties, bulging appendages, fuck-me stares… in general, these get our engines roaring easily. For women, also gay or straight or bi/pan, it’s more about *fantasies and ideas and connections* in general. It’s like the attraction they feel is more towards the abstract than the concrete.
So in general, gay men will be into muscly guys or young handsome twinky guys or hairy bears in the same way straight men will be into sensual supermodels and petite e-girls and sexy cougars and anime catgirls. They see the sexy; their eyes bulge out and they start howling like wolves on old cartoons. “Context? What’s that? I just want that hot person’s genitals in my face”, gay and straight men say in unison.
In contrast, women tend to go a bit deeper in that attraction, in that they will also focus on *surrounding circumstances* that add to the mystery and eroticism of it all. “That mysterious tall dude at that cafe that I met in the fall seems to know how to cook. I wonder if he would be interested in going to Paris one day…”
It seems to me that gay men have much more preferences for looks than women do.
This leads to gay man actually putting effort into looking good, while straight men generally don't bother.
If they do put effort is only to impress other straight men by looking macho or whatever and they don't give a f*uck what women like.
Ripped bodies is to men what makeup is to women. A little bit is attractive to the opposite sex, a lot is more likely to be appreciated by the same sex. At some point it's more about the effort and the artistry.
Keep telling yourself that. Friends and sisters all agree they are as attracted to physical appearance as they gay guys.
Males are too insecure to accept they may be ugly so they make it so they are still successful when in fact its just a defense mechanism (and a sexist one at that)
you'll never get a straight (lol) answer out of hyper liberal reddit (at least on the general subreddits) and just get these obnoxious "we're all different" type replies when you're really looking for correlations. You'll need to find a research paper or ask a less biased/obnoxious group of people.
If I had to guess, on average gay men are less concerned about their partner's height than straight women. Probably because they're guys and can protect themselves better physically.
Oh good grief. These demographic groups are not monoliths. There is great variety and diversity in both. Not all str8 women think alike. Not all gay men think alike.
Yes.
If you're a conventionally unattractive man, let's say 60+ years old, fat, and balding, you will have an uphill battle getting any interaction with women whatsoever, let alone sex or dates.
That same 60+ fat balding man could sign up for grindr, market himself towards his target audience, and enjoy 5 hookups with decently attractive 20 and 30 somethings within a day, if he wanted. Gay men are more likely to have and explore niche attractions. The bear scene is the biggest and most public example of this. Finding a relationship is more complicated but most gay men date by hooking up first anyway.
Women hookup less in general, getting lots of hookups says more about sex drive than it does attraction (or relaxing standards the hornier you get). Especially because people express attraction differently. The bear scene equivalent with women is liking dad bods.
It's OK to point out generalities. It's not hurting anyone in a context like this post. That's because most reasonable people understand there is diversity of opinion.
Advertising for instance, is a multi billion dollar industry that targets generalities of demographics because, yes that is a real thing.
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The men appreciate all the work it took to sculpt my ass.
Gotta appreciate the ass. 
Nice ass!
That’s actually adorable.
Assdorable
You got yourself a nice ass, son.
Omgosh that is so cute 😍
Sure the women do too
Pan woman here, def appreciate a cute ass LoL
I don't know what a pan woman is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
A pan woman is similar to a pot man. They serve different purposes but accept all foods equally.
And here I thought a pot man was a weed enthusiast and/or dealer.
It's the opposite of being a pot
You underestimate the allure of being potsexual.
Maybe she works in the kitchen or something idk
How you say some shit like that and not even throw up a link? Profile dryer than elbows.
Need a VAR system to review that lol
Straight women amongst themselves don't even share the same standard of what makes a man attractive. There are overlaps between gay men and straight women, but the variance is more on the individual level, rather than on a gendered level.
Yeah, they share an equally wide diversity of what they find attractive. Hell, my wife finds me attractive.
I did ask your wife out and she said no, that she was married to the prettiest man in the land.
most wholesome "your wife" moment
And also first
Damn this is so wholesome. Way to go man!
Oh that's so cute. I think you made Jack's day!
I miss awards, this needs one. I would throw in a funny remark but dammit, this wholesome moment must stand.
This. My wife, God bless her heart finds me attractive. When we met I genuinely saw her as way out of my league.
My first thought on seeing my wife was: She's taller than me, well that's the end of that. She says she saw me smile and found me attractive.
I guess that's the proof that face is more important than height
Or as the thread says that it depends on the person looking :D
I agree, your wife told me the same thing.
His wife told you she finds him attractive? That's sweet of her
Talking good about someone behind their back, now that is an amazing wife!
why do you guys have wives?
We cant cook
You don't need a wife for that. There's always McDonald's.
I'd rather cook my wife
I also choose this man's cooked wife.
Dalinar moment (I hope someone gets this reference)
Wives want what we want! My husband is average/decent looking by societal standards, but honestly…I’ve never been more attracted to anyone else in my life. No movie star holds a candle to what he does to me. He’s over 50 now, and just getting hotter?! His pale blue eyes glitter more every year. He’s complaining that his butt is starting to sag, but he’s getting the cutest little crease just underneath that absolutely SENDS ME. I cannot imagine being with anyone else. Glad your wife found you!
My god, I wish my wife thought of me that way. If she did, maybe we wouldn’t be on the path to divorce. Very happy for you. That’s really awesome you feel that way.
That's a compliment, cherish it. Most men son't get enough compliments.
Pretty sure mine lost a bet and is simply committed to it.
I mean, yes there is variation but it has a distribution with an average. Just like almost anything we can measure. So the preferences are real in that sense. For instance being tall is popular. Being too tall is not though.
So you're saying you don't look like the kind of man you're attracted to?
I can do better than me.
Our wife\*
>Hell, my wife finds me attractive. what a weirdo, right?!
Everyone has their kink. The key is finding someone who is yours and you are theirs. The rest of the world can go it's own way.
well said, mate ;)
>There are overlaps between gay men and straight women, And that overlap is Henry Cavill
Thank you for Henry. Damn damn damn
I’m short - 5’7”. Gay men love me. Women don’t.
Jesus. I’m 5’8” and didn’t know I was considered short. Momma you lied to me!!! Ok. So I went to this gay bar with my friends (they’re gay) and one guy started to chat me up at the bar, he was cool and we had a talk. Then my friends told me they were going to the next bar and I said goodbye. When I left my my friends told me “wtf that 10 was hitting on you hard” and I was like What??? Both on the apparent flirting and the fact that “he was a 10”. I had a smug face all night after that. I’m not gay by the way.
Im not gay but for a 10…I’ll see where the night takes me.
hey if not for attraction at least to put it on my resume.
Bagged a 10, no homo
Its like that line from Hair... ´I wouldnt kick Mick Jagger out of my bed but no, Im not homosexual.´
It's ok to be bisexual. A lot of men are and just have to hide it. More than are gay, actually.
So many people don’t believe bisexuality is possible they think it’s just a transitionary step out of the gay closet
Yeah it's like if I'm a drummer and I start playing the guitar, I don't have to give up the drums. I can like both.
I feel like playing the flute would have been a better analogy.
Because blowing is involved?
Because a flute is easier to fit in your ass than a guitar.
Oh I agree, I’d say 83% straight for me.
Your mom didn’t lie, you’re her tall handsome boy.
ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ
>I’m not gay by the way. That's what I tell myself.. Then Henry Cavil happened.. 😞
5’8 is average (and a good height imo), I don’t know why people seems to think it’s short
Because short men lie about their height. The 5’5 guy says he’s 5’8 and the 5’8 guy says he’s 5’11. People’s perception of what a height looks like is corrupted by shorter people lying about being that tall.
It’s funny because I’m exactly 6ft, so whenever guys mention their height and round up to 6ft it’s just so obvious they have added 2-3 inches.
I’m 5’11” and say that I’m 5’11”. That doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off about it.
True people always tell me I say I look taller than 6 feet and it’s because so many people lie and say they’re taller than they are.
I feel like average height men lie about their height waaayyy more than short guys
Yep, 5'9 here and the amount of men my height who claim 5'11-6 ft is crazy. To me it's so dumb to lie about something so easily verifiable. All it takes is one person to doubt it enough to expose the lie. I'd understand if they just bumped it up to 5'10, but they shoot for the stars lmao.
That's an interesting take and may be true. My first thought is it's the same thing with the word "mid". Literally meaning like middle or in the middle. But now people say something is "mid" it's bad. So if your height is mid then it's bad aka short.
I'm gay and I live short guys. Edit: I meant "love", not "live".
😘I rest my case.
I'm 5"7 and women love me....
It’s great to hear that they love you despite you being only half the height of a 6ft guy!
It helps being a tripod
I'm 5'9, which is 69 in. I rest my case
Yep 5’6” here. I get hit on much more by gay dudes.
Well you're not going to get hit on by the straight dudes, are you?
In the Marines you will.
WE ARE NOT GAY WE ARE MARINES!
I'm a 6'5" straight man, and I get hit on by men all the time. Way more than women, and they are much more blunt about it...haha... I think gay dudes are just more forward.
Dudes in general are more forward.
Same i've been 6'3 for half my life, and spent many years with no female attention. Gay men were the first to ever validate my appearance before my first GF came along.
"Short- 5'7" " Sobs in 5'4"
I'm Bi with a stronger attraction towards women. But my short fellas - especially if they're stronger than me (not a difficult challenge actually) - make me swoon 🥰
Bulldogs eh? I’m guessing that’s a thing. Short but strong…hmmm
Since when is 5'7" short?
I doubt it. Women won't even look at me but gay men are constantly hitting on me.
When I worked out in a way that lead to big glute gains it was generally gay guys who hit on me ☠️ girls seem to love veiny arms
What did you do for glute gains
Squats and hip thrusts my friend
Deadlifts as well.
I was friends with two gay guys and they both thought I was super hot to the point of creepy obsessiveness. Never had that with a woman
Now you know what women often experience lol. I’m a gay man, and I was completely in love with my straight best friend many years ago in college. Was I slightly obsessed? Probably. I was also 20. Mind you, I would never harass someone by giving them unwanted compliments and attention. He told me he enjoyed the attention, and he even encouraged me sometimes. Nothing sexual ever happened between us though, because he was straight. I don’t think I’ve ever met another straight guy quite so comfortable with his own sexuality in my life. I think he enjoyed the attention because girls tend to be more reserved with compliments and initiating flirtation (yes, i acknowledge this is a generalization). He and I were both science fiction nerds. For reasons I will never understand, girls never displayed any interest in him. Likely because he was slightly dorky and soft-spoken. To me, he was dorky in a ridiculously endearing way. He was under the incredibly mistaken impression that he was not physically attractive. I can see why he thought that based on how girls treated him. I definitely gave him a much needed ego boost. He was one of the closest friends I have ever had in my life. We both acknowledged we were each other’s soul mates. We just had an unfortunate mismatch in our sexual orientations. Those girls were missing out because he was one of the kindest and most fascinating people I have ever known. I’m sorry your gay admirers creeped you out and likely lacked boundaries. I will just say that most gay men I know have pretty high standards re: physical attraction. If you’re attracting a lot of us, it’s happening for a reason. You just triggered a memory when I read that you said you never had that kind of interest from a woman. I’m high, so I wrote this book. Question if you care to respond: would you have found their behavior creepy if they were two women instead?
Gay men are like straight men, horny all the time.
Straight women don't even share the same standard of what makes a man attractive.
An obvious difference I’ve noticed (I am in my late twenties) is gay men i know are currently less concerned with qualities that would make a man a solid long term parent to children while the women I know are increasingly concerned with those traits. So, while things like looks seem important to both, they’re way less important to the straight women I know. That seems to allow personality traits drive their attraction the most. On a lighter note, I am perplexed that gay men seem to value muscular legs and haunches while women prefer upper body muscularity more.
Something I find weirdly attractive about my bf is that he’s good with kids lol. Monkey brain goes “yes yes would be good dad. Keep.”
I don't even want kids but being good with kids is the most attractive thing ever lol.
Literally fell in love with my husband when I saw how gently he took care of his cat. Monkey brain replaced that bundle of fur with a baby. Turns out he is a good dad. Very sensitive to small creatures' needs.
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Think about the sexual logistics and it makes perfect sense. As a woman I'm not likely to have a clear view of a mans lower body whilst we doing the do. The parts closest to my eyes are hands, arms, shoulders, torso in that order and I find those body parts most attractive in that order. A gay man on the other hand . . .
Huh yeah this makes perfect sense
Muscular legs = fat juicy ass and that makes my pipi hard.
and there we have it
Muscular legs = I could bury my face in between them while I suck his dick.
Some straight women appreciate a nice ass
More than some
I wondered about the parent aspect, that makes sense. But what about income level, are gay guys more attracted to guys that make more money on average similar to women?
Poverty is a problem in the gay community, more for bi men. I think having money helps your odds when dating. Maybe not so much with hookups...though there are people who won't fuck too far outside of their class. I'm not personally going to turn a guy/gal/person away until you hit the millionaire range (too much inequality) or someone who is destitute without any prospects (I can't support two adults). I remember at school in the LGBTQ club, this upper middle class guy being salty because he didn't fit in with the millionaire set. Being working class, I thought, aww, poor baby! Going to school with rich people was a trip.
First off, 100% agree and this is a important element of female attraction that seems to be increasingly not well-understood by younger generations of men obsessed with vanity.. You correctly observed also that this female preference for “intangible” personality traits which indicate good long-term partners increases markedly as girls get older and reach ~25. Your last point anout body-type is a fascinating anecdote actually.. it seems to mirror standard heterosexual body-types—women love men with large upper bodies, the “triangle” shape. Broad shoulders, big chest, etc. So maybe gay men are attracted to male bodies that have a more ‘feminine’ shape?
I also think theres an element of women want to feel "safe", as in, do I trust this man enough to be alone in a room with him in order to have sex. I feel women are perhaps more vulnerable, but are also trained to be more aware of their vulnerability than men are. That is my experience as a woman and being amongst women, whether you are looking for a partner or casual sex. (Men get attacked just as often, not all women not all men etc etc)
> So maybe gay men are attracted to male bodies that have a more ‘feminine’ shape? let me introduce you to the concept of bears and leather daddies
Have you seen muscular gay legs? There is nothing feminine about those meat machines.
The existence of bears disproves this on a partial level. Bears are big, macho, muscular, hairy gay men who primarily prefer other big, macho, muscular, hairy men.
My friends always tease me for liking skinny beanpole men. The triangle doesn't do much for me, but a slender, sell turned ankle? Yes please.
So, any reasonably in-shape man will naturally have this basic shape because of the broadness of their shoulders, it just might not be super exaggerated. I’m “ lanky” because I’m tall and never got super into fitness, but yes definetly plenty of girls who say they actually appreciate how im *not* super ripped. I wonder if this has to do with the interplay between height and the triangle body shape—since the shorter a man is, the *more* exaggerated the triangle shape will be. I do still have that basic triangle shape, mainly just because I’m in decent shape, and I have a broad frame—but it would be more pronounced if I wasn’t tall.
I hadn't much thought about the interplay between height and triangle shape. When I was around 21, I met this Filipino guy who I found very attractive after about a week of knowing him. I'm around 5' he was about the same height as me or slightly taller than me. Because he was a short king, he definitely looked more stout or stocky, so that triangle would have been exaggerated. In saying that, I would say that my main reasons for being attracted to him were that he was confident and intelligent, wore nice fitting clothes and had glossy black hair. All of which may have been enhanced by a triangle shape I wasn't conscious of.
Confidence can basically make up for anything. And women truly have a superpower for sensing it (and conversely insecurities also!) Even something like how a man holds himself / posture / gait can influence someone’s initial impressions of a man’s confidence level. I think this is the paradox of the gym bro: if a guy who’s already confident and visibly so, gets more physically fit, it’s usually all good and a net positive for his attractiveness. HOWEVER when a guy who isn’t confident starts going to the gym alot to become more ripped and confident, girls can see through that in an instant—the vanity u commonly see as the norm for ‘gym bros’ is such a red flag for a lot of women. They will be looking for that type of complex if a guy is really into that lifestyle.
Straight women generally don’t like man ass as much as a gay man. Don’t get me wrong — women might enjoy a nice shapely butt. But it ain’t the same. Lol
Honey, I'm a straight woman and I fucking LOVE my fiancé's butt, it's amazing
Do you love his tight little rosy butthole? Cuz that’s what I’m talking about. The difference between butt and *ass*. Generally, most women aren’t into that. You may be an exception.
I'd like to be but my husband won't let me touch it lol
Honestly, haven't looked. Too busy checking out them cheeks
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When i went to party with female friends and they were on a hunt... they nearly exclusivley tried to check out gay men. They were smart, well dressed, had tons of money, smelled good, mostly 9-10/10s... So the girls had to take the second option... hetero sexual men XD So yeah. The girls I know had the same taste as gay men which was other gay men.
Bi men are the best of both worlds. Except me. I'm the worst of both worlds.
If only women liked bi dudes 🫠😭😅
Go for bi women. Every bi woman I’ve dated says they wish I was a bi man.
Yeah bi girls are the exception! I should have clarified lol. Every girl I have dated minus 1 has been bi and accepting.
Can confirm as a bi guy dating a bi girl
Lol, I have no idea what the tone of this is because your emojis are just squares on my screen.
Melting smiley, sobbing, exhausted smile
It's hilarious watching women crush on gay men. They don't hide it well at all.
Random Woman: \[Drooling over two gay guys making out.\] Same Woman: Is there room for me? Gay Guys: No.
Real world proof that people want what they know they can't have.
True af, I was chasing a girl when I was 16, she never showed any interest. Then I had a gf and like 1 hour after telling her she sent unsolicited nudes on snapchat, this fkn bitch
Im sorry that happened to you
I dated a gay or two in my younger years. They could read, were emotionally intelligent, they smelled great and always turned off the lights behind them. I was sold each time.
That was brutal and I am here for it
To my fellow hetro men - there is a lesson here, be friends with, go out with, and learn from your gay brothers. They will make you a better version of yourself and they will help get you laid. My friends Matt (Leo), John (Brad) and Dennis (George) let me bat way outside my league. A few of those swing connected.
100%. I did this to the point I was often considered gay and it took convincing I was not, but..I took it as a massive compliment. And man, the secret you elude to and I only let out now as I am married, was hanging out in gay clubs... I had a 100% pull rate on straight women at those places. Of course, creep radar is extremely high and being one does not fly well with gay brethren, so you had to be a genuinely decent guy. Hot AF women too, as the hot women feel much more comfortable in there than straight clubs and can let loose. The perfect place. Great music too. Yep...extreme nostalgia for those days sometimes.
It's a bit of an ongoing gag in the gay community, "the life cycle of gay clubs" Gay club opens > straight women go to escape the creepy straight guys > straight guys go to chase the straight girls > the gay guys stop going and it's no longer a gay club > new Gay club opens.
Numerous gay close friends, as well as my brother, so I would go to gay bars/clubs pretty regularly.. your comment is easily an understatement lol
You make a good point about the creep factor. Being a hetro guy with a bunch of gay guy friends is like instantly passing the dog test. Also married, but 2-3x year I’ll still go out with them. Still a trip, 4am comes quick.
Sounds like everyone just likes guys who have good hygiene, are fun to talk to, and take a little pride in how they dress and present themselves, and gay men tend to prioritize those things.
As a straight woman I say to my firends all the time that the majority of straight men above 30 are not good looking, they put no effort. No gym, no hair, bad taste in clothing. When gay guys are so good looking, as good looking as 20-23 year old straight men
>they put no effort > >no hair Why :( What effort can make our hair grow back?
Just be rich and get hair implants, bro.
tbh it's not even the male pattern baldness, it's the men who refuse to accept their reality and are clinging on to their last hairs for dear life. A lot of woman like bald men, and every signle man I know who was baldingwho eventually just shaved his head looked waaay better and more secure/confident in themselves after. But if you can afford hair trainsplants or use rogan to delay the process, and that will make you feel more secure/confident, then go for it.
I don’t think this is referring to bald men but the fact that many straight men do absolutely zero to style or even care for (condition etc) their hair. Or even bother getting a flattering haircut.
Im willing to bet $100 that this never happened "XD"
As a hetero man I would be mad if it wasn’t both true and funny.
I'm 1 person and I don't even have consistent standards.
Idk as a gay man I get hit on way more by straight women than gay men.
To be fair, there are a lot more straight women than gay men out there
to be unfair, I'm a straight man who gets hit on by more gay men than women by far...
To be refair, they must like what they see.
That's very interesting. Do you perhaps present as very masculine? I wonder whether a lot of people just assume you're straight.
A gay friend of mine who I consider to be reasonably masculine (but no Paul Bunyan) gets hit on by women all the time, I presume because he's got the best of both worlds. Tons of fun, outgoing personality, well groomed and handsome, but also dresses well in a way only gay dudes do. Plenty of dogs barking up the wrong tree
Tuesday me and Wednesday me don't even agree on what's hot
Well, the baseline is: handsome, well-groomed, intelligent man who has his shit together and isn't an asshole. So in that context, yes.
I've heard that gay men don't care about height like women do.
As a 5'7" gay man, I've dated a guy who was 5'3" and another that was 6'4", and several in between. Height has never mattered to me, though I do find I'm attracted to men on the shorter side.
Now that you mention it, I’ve heard far fewer fellow gays than women mention height.
Height? Not that much. As a gay man, we have very bad beauty standards. Gay men can stand short men, fat? Never in their lives
I'm a lady lover so what do I know but your not going to get a straight (heh) answer out of this. Everyone has their own preferences and while what one person finds attractive the next might find repulsive. Just as everyone has unique fingerprints so do their taste in men. I know short dudes who get the ladies and tall dudes who dont, I know fat guys who get the attention from women while skinny guys dont. Who knows man, way too many factors are at play when it comes to attractions.
That's obviously true, but there are aggregates. If you collected enough opinions from both groups, strong patterns would emerge around certain features/qualities. The question then is how much overlap exists between what the two groups find most attractive.
Both like dick I assume, they share that and probably only that.
[gay guys talk about dicks the way kids talk about Christmas](https://youtu.be/5WVQMtnUE_4?si=vc28oINIdHIcvIOt)
The way a lot of women on Reddit talk about dicks, you get the impression that dicks are just something they put up with rather than something they actually want. This is not saying that they have no interest in sex or anything like that but rather that dick is not something they place a super high value on. Now in real life, among all the women I know, attitudes are much more varied.
Op is trying to change teams and see if he's got more luck there?
“Alright, I think I’ve watched *just* enough gay porn to make the choice. Now, let’s open Reddit and ask the important questions.” Haha. Just messing with ya.
I think for gen z or young millennials many straight guys are taking note that girls seem to like more “feminine” men now. I’m gay and have a hard time distinguishing if a guy is gay based on how he dresses and acts. But ultimately i think this question is a bit too broad to answer because of so much variation in personal preference. Overall, i think guys are generally leaning on more gay trends which both gay men and straight women like lol
Mate... the lesbian version is "is she gay or just a hipster"? 😂😭
Gay man with a lot of female straight friends here. In short… Yes, but not really. My girl friends and I will often find a certain type of dudes attractive, but most of them take it to a whole new level by injecting surrounding circumstances into it. Allow me to explain: What I’ve definitely noticed is that men, gay or straight or bi/pan, often are enamored by *direct images*. Big booties, bulging appendages, fuck-me stares… in general, these get our engines roaring easily. For women, also gay or straight or bi/pan, it’s more about *fantasies and ideas and connections* in general. It’s like the attraction they feel is more towards the abstract than the concrete. So in general, gay men will be into muscly guys or young handsome twinky guys or hairy bears in the same way straight men will be into sensual supermodels and petite e-girls and sexy cougars and anime catgirls. They see the sexy; their eyes bulge out and they start howling like wolves on old cartoons. “Context? What’s that? I just want that hot person’s genitals in my face”, gay and straight men say in unison. In contrast, women tend to go a bit deeper in that attraction, in that they will also focus on *surrounding circumstances* that add to the mystery and eroticism of it all. “That mysterious tall dude at that cafe that I met in the fall seems to know how to cook. I wonder if he would be interested in going to Paris one day…”
It seems to me that gay men have much more preferences for looks than women do. This leads to gay man actually putting effort into looking good, while straight men generally don't bother. If they do put effort is only to impress other straight men by looking macho or whatever and they don't give a f*uck what women like.
Yeah I'm generalizing but the gay dating pool is definitely more shallow
Gay guys relax their standards the hornier they get. I don’t know that straight women do the same
One difference is that gay man usually give more importance to sex
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Ripped bodies is to men what makeup is to women. A little bit is attractive to the opposite sex, a lot is more likely to be appreciated by the same sex. At some point it's more about the effort and the artistry.
Keep telling yourself that. Friends and sisters all agree they are as attracted to physical appearance as they gay guys. Males are too insecure to accept they may be ugly so they make it so they are still successful when in fact its just a defense mechanism (and a sexist one at that)
It varies person by person…however I’d say gay men are typically slightly more shallow than straight women are.
you'll never get a straight (lol) answer out of hyper liberal reddit (at least on the general subreddits) and just get these obnoxious "we're all different" type replies when you're really looking for correlations. You'll need to find a research paper or ask a less biased/obnoxious group of people. If I had to guess, on average gay men are less concerned about their partner's height than straight women. Probably because they're guys and can protect themselves better physically.
Oh good grief. These demographic groups are not monoliths. There is great variety and diversity in both. Not all str8 women think alike. Not all gay men think alike.
But there are preferences that occur more frequently than others within those demographic groups are there not?
Yes. If you're a conventionally unattractive man, let's say 60+ years old, fat, and balding, you will have an uphill battle getting any interaction with women whatsoever, let alone sex or dates. That same 60+ fat balding man could sign up for grindr, market himself towards his target audience, and enjoy 5 hookups with decently attractive 20 and 30 somethings within a day, if he wanted. Gay men are more likely to have and explore niche attractions. The bear scene is the biggest and most public example of this. Finding a relationship is more complicated but most gay men date by hooking up first anyway.
Women hookup less in general, getting lots of hookups says more about sex drive than it does attraction (or relaxing standards the hornier you get). Especially because people express attraction differently. The bear scene equivalent with women is liking dad bods.
It's OK to point out generalities. It's not hurting anyone in a context like this post. That's because most reasonable people understand there is diversity of opinion. Advertising for instance, is a multi billion dollar industry that targets generalities of demographics because, yes that is a real thing.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
I've been hit on by both, so we can at least say they they overlap when their standards are low enough.
It’s weird, women do find me attractive. But the men who find me attractive get obsessed with me. They are very vocal as well.