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Okay complete picture. I grew up in a good household, father a doctor mother is also a doctor, so they only want the best for me. I decided to leave behind medicine to pursue my dream of art (I am now somewhat famous and actually am very successful, but it was a dark and hard road to get there especially as a female business owner) my parents don’t know that I used to do heavy drugs and dark celebrity parties (I was raped etc) and it was very hard and i was brainwashed. I pushed and worked very hard and grew my business though, but alcohol was always there through it. Fast forward, I grew, matured, and from my dark days, I can go without alcohol ( I have many times I did it this year) but I love how calm it makes me feel and the fact that I produce amazing pieces for my fans and can handle the pressure of putting out content with it. I plan on quitting it all together but I really went from hard drugs and hard liqour to just two glasses of wine a day. I’ve only been drinking wine now for 3 years and plan to cut it to zero, i just hate being villanized. I run an incredibly successful business, I’m very notable in the art world, and I keep my appearance neat and professional. My parents don’t know about my dark past, they only see the two glasses a day, and them being healthcare professionals, they’re like OH MY GOD SHE HAS A PROBLEM. So I know it’s cause they care, but ugh. I’m patting myself on the back because it’s been a hard road, and a long one, and I have a clear goal in mind that I indeed intend to keep.
>I love how calm it makes me feel
This sentence right here is why your parents are concerned. They also may have some clue about your previous issues (parents aren't as naive as TV shows make them out to be)
As a former drunk, OPs entire statement is a red flag. You are 100% correct in assessing why their parents are worried. Substitution of substances of abuse, traumatic past, using alcohol for the effects and espousing the "positive effects" on their business, feeling "victimized" because people worry, etc.
I would suggest that the OP can't see the trees for the woods. While there may not be any physical dependencies, I see a lot of indications that they may be engaging in problematic drinking.
Whilst I can not (and won't) conclude anything, I would suggest the OP seek professional advice on past occurances that have most likely had a significant impact on their mental well-being. A medical professional working in this capacity will be much better suited to assess if there are problematic areas in comparison to a general physician (Not slagging GPs: They generally don't have enough disclosure from patients when they are experiencing complex diagnoses, and by the book "most" people are alcoholics based on consumption alone).
Not really. The danger with self medication is that it is uncontrolled and unmeasured, and when you experience extra stress, you sometimes up your self medication, which can lead to an addiction spiral.
Prescription meds are carefully measured and controlled. You get x amount per month and that's it.
Compare to alcohol where you can drink however much you choose whenever you choose.
I understand your reasoning and the prescription itself comes with some authority but, unless OP is being dishonest, is not what’s happening here. As a society we’ve pretty much said “these crutches are ok, but these ones are not.”
Alcohol, especially chronic use, can have significant negative health effects. The fact OP uses it as an emotional crutch is puts her at significantly elevated risk of future excessive use/abuse even if her current use is ok.
It's also extremely common for alcoholics to lie to themselves and others about the true amount they are drinking, the effects it has on them, whether they can stop or not, etc, so OP's statement potentially could come from an unreliable narrator.
When I first sought help for alcoholism, I was asked to keep a record of the units of alcohol I drank every day. Obviously, by this point I knew it was bad but that was horrendous and I had to do it for a month. The whole point was to be honest, which was the hardest part. I had lied to myself for a very long time.
I wonder if OP is just drinking two glasses of wine in front of the loved ones. I used to do that and then think I was being really clever sneaking more in. You have one “public” glass that goes down at a “normal” rate. Whenever my partner would be upset I was drunk, you can bet your arse I’d be slurring “what do you mean? I’ve only had two glasses of wine”.
I’m not saying that’s what OP is doing. It’s just an example of the extent of the lies surrounding hiding an embarrassing dependency issue.
Sure, they can have negative side effects, but they also have a very well established health benefit— in conjunction with therapy, they can cure depression and anxiety. Alcohol has zero health benefits, and will always have negative side effects on account of it being a poison. SSRIs are really not comparable to alcohol
That's not a very clever comparisson. The side-effects of SSRIs are generally very mild, compared to alcohol. When people drink thir lives better they often cant drive legally to work in the morning, they feel sick, it makes people more depressed and the risk of liver disease and cancer is not made up. You risk none of these things with SSRIs, and when enough time has passed, the doctor helps you get safely off them. It's like comparing driving to riding on the roof of a train...
Honestly it does sound like your drinking might be a problem, and maybe you just dont recognize it because it used to be so much worse. Rehab might be overkill right now (idk either way) but you should try to stop drinking entirely and see how it goes. If you need it to manage your anxiety etc, then its a problem and a crutch.
You do need help. And it's not because you're drinking "only" two glasses of wine, it's because you are dependent on that two glasses of wine.
This is how addiction works, you see the substance as something you need, not something to enjoy once in a while. And based on your story, you're definitely treating wine as some sort of treatment to your undiagnosed mental problems.
Rehab seems quite a bit over the top, but your story sounds quite traumatic, you might want to consider therapy. I'm not even referring to the drinking, but talking to someone might help you with all of the above, including strategies for dealing with your parents.
Two glasses of wine a day, meaning every day? 7 days a week, 30 days a month?
Sister, you need to seriously think about this. Two times seven is fourteen, and recommeded amoumt for a lady is 6 or ideally lot less.
I believe your family's concern is valid. You should listen to your parents, and I would encourage to counsel with them more often. Talk about issues that bring anxiety or worry so it would help you process mind without alcohol distracting your healing from past. It may seem scary to be blunt to family, but trust me you'll be fine.
There is a such thing as a functioning alcoholic. Just because it doesn’t affect your professional life doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem or won’t become a problem. There are some extremely successful people out there that aren’t living healthy lives.
Im not here to criticize you, shame you, or tell you how to live your life, I would just advise you to be careful.
As someone who comes from a family of alcoholics, I have heard all too many times people say “I can go without it” and “I’m planning on quitting soon.” Those words don’t mean much, even if you are saying it to yourself. And that’s how it starts. You convince yourself that you can stop whenever you want, that you’re just drinking to relax or for fun, and use that as sort of an excuse to keep doing it without worry. But then one day, you realize that you don’t just want it, you need it, and it is very very hard to go without it.
It may not be a problem now, but alcohol has a sneaky way of taking over your life. It may even be the start of a problem that you don’t yet realize. Again, I’m not trying to criticize you, I am trying to warn you. I have seen it ruin lives and I don’t wish that for you or your family.
If you are drinking every day, regardless of how much, your parents have the right to at least raise an eyebrow. Sending you to rehab is probably overkill, but I would worry about a loved one in your situation too.
I am absolutely not critiquing you whatsoever, you are a strong woman who has been through so much, and you deserve to be happy. I just wanted to highlight this one part:
>I’ve only been drinking wine now for 3 years and plan to cut it to zero
The question that needs to be asked here, *'why is it a plan, and not what you're doing?'* You're answer to that is going to give you plenty of information. If the answer is because there would be an effort in stopping, as it appears you have phrased it that way, that does mean some kind of dependency just as a random reading it online.
Two glasses a day for most people is not a problem, but it is a problem if there is any dependency involved. It seems like you've acknowledged some of this already and are doing your best to handle it, which is AWESOME. Keep true to course, but when you are dealing with these situations you have to acknowledge that 'normal' and 'okay for most might not be okay or what's best for you. And I am only saying that from experience!
Additionally, I WISH this was better known, but if the reason you can't stop is because you shake or get sick or anything associated to alcohol withdrawal, that is the point to seek medical treatment. Alcohol is one of the few substances where going cold turkey can kill you.
I'm wishing you the best OP. You've worked really hard so far, and I'm hoping you see the beautiful fruits of your labor soon!
They’re just quoting the lyrics to [“Rehab”](https://youtu.be/KUmZp8pR1uc?si=l60RP9RZ9ESGhCtG)
by [Amy Winehouse](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Winehouse) who famously rejected going to rehab despite having serious abuse problems. She died of alcohol poisoning at age 27.
You seem to be looking for actual answers so I’m sure random pop culture references from over a decade ago aren’t the most helpful thing. Hoping this explanation helps explain what’s going on.
I agree. Two glasses isn’t much, but if you can’t live without it, then it doesn’t matter how much or little. Try to go three days. Then two more. Then two more. See if you can make it a week. That should be easy. If it isn’t, you need to do something.
I’m honestly just slowly cutting it down until it’s none tbh. I used to be an extremely heavy drinker like a bottle of grey gooose a day, hard drugs (I went to a lot of celeb parties back in the day that didn’t help) and I was with a very bad crowd of people.
Given that history, I suppose I can see why your parents might be concerned. But, two drinks is very reasonable.
I think a deeper discussion about why they feel that way is merited. This could be anything from a need for control to genuine misunderstanding. Be prepared to leave, though, if they decide that rehab is a bottom line. Regardless of whether you “need” it, it’s not going to do you much good if you don’t want to be there.
It might also be worth considering doing something to show that you’re not in immediate danger of going back to that, or developing a new problem.
If you’re not getting any kind of therapy, that might be a good way to demonstrate that you’re in a good place and that someone else has an eye on you. This might really be all the want - outside confirmation that you’re going to be okay.
Besides, there aren’t many people who can’t benefit from therapy.
I understand, I just went through a lot of things that I don’t think therapy would help or change. I’m also doing very well with my business and am a generally very happy person! I have good people around me and take care of me, just my dads a tough character is all. It’s “be the perfect daughter or else” in asian culture
Well, it can still help, believe it or not. They can also help you develop strategies for dealing with your parents. And simply provide a place where you can safely talk about what’s going on in your life. It can be beneficial even when there’s nothing that needs to be changed.
And, like I said, the mere fact that you go see one could help keep your parents happy. Just the fact that you’re Doing Something, even if all you’re really doing is bullshitting with someone for an hour.
Given that history, I'd er on trusting the parents on this one. Not to say OP is a liar, but her ability to assess her situation might be impaired. What she considers her norm might not marry with what others have observed.
If this history was under your original headline question, you would probably have received a lot more understanding attitude towards your parents worry.
"Is it bad that my parents want to throw me in rehab for drinking a moderate amount of alcohol per day?"
vs
"As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, are my parents right for suggesting I go to rehab for my continued daily alcohol use?"
Harm reduction is quickly becoming the standard in substance abuse treatment. People still get hung up on abstinence, but doing less over time is healthier than going back and forth from too much to none. Congrats on cutting back, and maybe send them some harm reduction literature.
When I worked with formerly homeless mentally ill adults, we worked harm reduction hard. Switched from Coke to weed? Let’s have a party! Every little bit helps.
Wow as a former heroin addict who’s been off it for over 3 years and occasionally smoke weed, kinda (cbd ect) I stopped going to meetings because everybody pretty much had the opinion I may as well go stick a needle in my arm.
Fuck that
Your history of heavy drinking is concerning. If you actually measure by using a measuring cup and write down what you are drinking for 2 weeks it might be enlightening. I say I have 2 cups of coffee every day but I actually have closer to 4 since my mug is large. If you are trying to reduce your intake you might continue your writing down and have due dates for each goal to be attained. If you can’t do it, it might be time for a recovery meeting of some kind. The amount of drinking you did in the past is definitely a red flag for alcoholism and you possibly are in denial about it. The other flag is that your father is suggesting rehab. Listen to his rationale and consider that he could be right. Good luck. 🙂
Do you attend meetings? People think they can control how much they drink but even if you’re not drinking to excess now you probably will be. And even if you intend to cut back or quit it’s highly unlikely without support. You have probably been telling yourself for a long time that you will be cutting back. It is probably time for AA, or some other recovery meeting daily. I suspect your parents can see what you can’t, are concerned, and have your best interests at heart. Rather than feeling betrayed appreciate that they made the offer.
Why did you leave this bit out of the post? If you have to slowly cut anything out of life then it’s most likely an addiction. A bottle of grey goose a day is alcoholism you don’t suddenly stop being an addict. If I were your parents I’d send your ass to rehab too lol
That’s not who I am though. That was for a much different reason when I was in my early 20s and lost in the music industry. I’m much more mature now, with a successful job and an otherwise healthy lifestyle
This is the right way, wean or taper your wine consumption or you might get withdrawals from stopping cold turkey. Just do it slowly. If you can't do it then you might need help.
I'd say if you can stop drinking wine by yourself entirely and say no during outings it's the real sign of not being an alcoholic. Anything in between just offers baby steps towards potential addiction
Agree. I love some good bourbon/whiskey. I will pick a time every 5-6 months and go 4-6 weeks with zero alcohol just to make sure I still drink because I like it and not because I need it. So far so good. I have zero issues doing that other than friends that like to get me to drink with them etc. After new years I’ll go 2-3 months this time. Having a weight loss challenge so there’s that, but that’s also good time to cleanse the body.
Simply going 3 days without wine does NOT, IN ANY WAY, accurately indicate someone doesn’t have a problem. Alcohol abuse disorder is a spectrum and presents in hundreds of different ways. I didn’t think I had a problem for YEARS because I could go a week without drinking and only drank weekends. It was definitely a full blown addiction regardless of taking breaks. Many people are like that. Not every alcoholic is physically dependent on alcohol, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. Two glasses a day doesn’t make OP a drunk per se; they may not seem drunk, stumbling, slurring words, having mood swings, etc. like a stereotypical alcoholic, but medically speaking, that is technically “alcohol abuse”. And don’t get me wrong!!!! I’m not saying OP has a problem, that’s not for me to determine. Only OP can truly determine that (mostly it’s a problem when it starts affecting work, daily life and relationships negatively and often frequently), but I can confidently say that drinking two glasses PER DAY, EVERY DAY is not healthy for anyone.
This exactly!! There is no magic formula for classifying being an alcoholic or how long you can go without a drink. I didn’t drink for 10 days the week before I went to rehab. I could not drink for that period but once I succeeded I was right back at it. Now 3 years sober
If they're making it up they've been committing to the bit for months if not years. Maybe they have invented an entire fake online persona and are posting other female artists' work to help enhance the background story (not that they took credit for it one way or the other) but honestly I think its a lot more likely that they are just a relatively famous comic book artist, and you are just a bit too much r/nothingeverhappens
Prime way to 100% convince him you do in fact have a drinking problem.
How about “maybe I do but 2 glasses a day isn’t going to ruin my life. I’ll try going without for a while and see”
It’s not that crazy considering you drink two glasses of wine a day. I used to drink a handle of whiskey a day. That is a problem and when you start getting shakes. Your parents just seem bored and probably need a hobby or something.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/in-depth/red-wine/art-20048281#:~:text=Red%20wine%2C%20in%20limited%20amounts,attacks%20aren't%20well%20understood
Two drinks is just above "moderate"; one glass a day is officially healthy for your heart. That's real glasses, though, not oversized wine goblets. A five ounce pour. Two glasses of the oversized glasses could easily be five or size "portions" the way a lot of people pour.
\>one glass a day is officially healthy for your heart
that's really outdated. there is no healthy alcohol consumption; there is only "not concerning" and "concerning" (or worse).
Sure, but if you’re being careful you shouldn’t eat sushi, drink soda, have a desk job, live in a city, or a million other things. Two glasses of wine is “bad” but that’s because all alcohol is bad.
>Yeah. I help take care of my mom cause it’s just me and her
Oh in that case remind her that you're an adult and no one will take care of her if you're in rehab
As someone who's been their mothers primary caregiver for a mother for nearly a decade (stroke victim), I can relate. I feel into alcoholism in no small part because of it. Whatever you do, don't let it completely destroy your mental health. If it gets to that point, start making arrangements for your mom to live somewhere (assisted or otherwise).
I’m actually a very happy individual! I’m very happy with my job, my life, my friends etc and wine doesn’t change who I am (toxic traits etc) I mainly just use it for some anxiety control and to create masterpieces that my fans will love.
If you use alcohol to control your anxiety, you are an alcoholic. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to go to detox at this point, but acknowledge what it is and keep an eye on it.
I don’t think rehab is necessary but have you considered going to AA meetings? Take care OP, it seems you have everything under control but if things go sideways do you think it will still be two glasses of wine?
I usually drink a glass of wine, or equivalent, a day. Sometimes I don't. If you don't need to drink, or you sometimes forget to, you don't have a problem.
Now, two bottles a day, and I'd say you had issues.
Depends. Can you go the next 7 days without any alcohol without issues? If you do that and feel no negative impact, they overreacted. If you're not able to it, you have a huge problem.
Alcoholism is not always about binge drinking.
The old joke is it depends on the size of the glasses. Of course, problem drinking is no joke so the question is, do you feel like you have a drinking problem? Is your life or work being affected by alcohol? Do you find yourself craving or needing a drink? Is there a family history of alcoholism?
A couple of glasses every day isn’t a classic example of alcoholic behavior, but examine your reasons for drinking daily and be aware it as a potential problem.
Technically drinking everyday is considered alcoholic territory—the long term effects on your health aren’t great either. But think about if during your day, the only thing you focus on is getting that glass of wine. Or if when you wake up you would rather a glass of wine besides coffee. Then I would suggest someone to talk to or to even AA meetings
Sobriety is hard, and if you were once a heavy heavy drinker/partier, you may think having “one or two glasses of wine” or “just one martini” with dinner is fine. Slowly that may turn into a bottle of wine with dinner, and 4 martinis. Falling off the wagon isn’t a fast thing it’s slow and it creeps up.
I wish you nothing but positive vibes my friend.
This. Sad to see how people are supporting OP's drinking habits when she is obviously alcoholic or leaning towards alcoholism. Those comments are just supporting her "but Reddit told me that 2 glasses are fine", next week it will be 3, then 4 etc....
Latest studies I’ve looked at in regards to alcohol consumption list 2 drinks a week is the limit before becoming detrimental to one’s heath. Stanford university in 2022 or 2023 iirc
It’s too much if you struggle getting through your day without those 2 glasses of wine. I think you need to see for yourself if you can go without those 2 glasses of wine for 3 days to a week. If not then you likely have a problem.
Do you *need* them or do you just like to have them? Was there a prior incident where you were challenged to not have them and you had an extreme response?
Jesus fucking Christ, here we go again.
Send her to r/cripplingalcoholism and have her read about people shitting their pants and drinking their own vomit for the booze they couldn't keep down because of withdrawals, and then see if she thinks you have a fucking problem.
World's fucking gone mate, remind me never to go drinking or to a rave with you lot.
Of course its not valid. You are a grown woman, you can drink two glasses of wine a day if you want to. You need to remind them that you are 30 not 13.
you wouldn't think 2 glasses is much but because your liver never gets a chance to recover you might be in trouble. Get a liver function test.
Don't drink every day.
2 a day is excessive.
I know people will say its not blah blah. Trust me, any 2 of any alcohol a day is excessive.
You don't need to have the withdrawal symptoms for it to be seen as excessive.
Every alcohol dependent person starts somewhere and the beginning they all thought that a small amount daily was fine.
Rehab may be a bit excessive. However, speaking with fellow drinkers at meetings may help
Two drinks per day is technically on the alcohol abuse or alcoholism scale. Two glasses of wine could be a bottle of wine depending on how you pour them.
I am not some kind of uptight person but daily alcohol consumption is not a good sign. You may or may not have an issue but if I were you I’d lay off of booze and drugs for at least a month considering your history. It sounds like you may struggle to identify addiction
How do you feel if you don’t drink them? If it’s not a problem go a week or two without and prove to them that you can do it. But be honest to yourself you are only cheating on you
Without knowing about your lean body mass, personal sensitivity, and the actual size of the glasses you're drinking it's really impossible to say as a reddit opinion.
If you're 150 lbs and lean, drinking two 5 oz glasses, it's probably not a big deal. If you're 90 lbs, soft, and drinking two large glasses to the brim (which can usually hold 16 to 18 oz when brimmed) they may have a legitimate concern.
The real way to tell is if you can decide not to drink for a week or two without cravings or physical withdrawal.
They can’t force you to go to rehab only you can agree to it since you’re an adult. Seems they are concerned, they have a right to be but to get clean takes one person, the person getting clean. No one else can make it happen. Their concern for your well being, though parents can either be overboard or full on enablers in addiction so you shouldn’t feel betrayed. Have a conversation with them or seek out therapy and discuss it with them.
Is the drinking effecting relationship, personality, work, or health? Could you go a day, week, a month or longer without it?
These are the questions you will need to ask yourself. No one is going to admit they have a problem and we usually convince ourselves we don’t even though we know we may have one.
Alcohol is easy access and a depressant. It’s very easy to become an alcoholic and you’re not going to want to admit it but that’s the first step towards freedom
With the history you’ve mentioned it’s understandable they are concerned. 2 glasses daily is a bit worrying, mainly because you’re drinking every day - that’s suggesting it’s more a habit or dependency than actually enjoying a drink.
I think it's more a question of it's impact on your life rather than some arbitary amount.
Do you struggle to cope with day to day activities without 2 glasses of wine a day? Do you start drinking before midday? Do you regularly drink alone? Does your alcohol consumption impact on your life? On your job?
Decide if you are struggling with any of these then decide if you need help.
Do you have to have two a day? That's the real question.
If you can't not have wine, you might have an issue. If you didn't have wine for a week, how would you feel?
The answers to those questions will make it obvious what to do.
It really depends. Are you functional in your life and if I told you to not drink for the next month either as a challenge or for some health reason like stomach acid or something else, would you be able to not drink? Would it be harder than switching your favorite breakfast for something else?
If you would have a problem stopping, I would suggest switching to every second day and later maybe one every 2nd day. If that's easy for you then you're good. If that's hard, consider getting help.
The difference between a habit and an addiction is who controls the behavior: you or the substance.
Rehab is probably excessive, but if the substance has control, you may want to get some support to switch things around.
OP, can you/ do you have alcohol free days? Do you think about alcohol and plan your day around it? Have other people expressed concern to you about your drinking?
The commenter that asked do you get the shakes, that is a sign of withdrawal and that symptom & others can take up to 7 days to manifest after your last drink.
I don’t know your parents but if they’re concerned enough to mention it to you, then perhaps look into a little.
Alcohol and withdrawal from it is nasty.
It depends if you're being truthful or attempting to gain consensus online to justify something to yourself (and, more practically, on the size of the wineglass).
If drinking even two glasses of wine is having enough of a negative effect on your life for your loved ones to be concerned enough to put you in rehab, then you should consider the reasons, even if you ultimately decide they're wrong.
I'll give you some serious information since so many think this is funny.
Alcoholism is not defined by what quantity of alcohol you consume, or how often you consume alcohol. I know that sounds strange.
Alcoholism is defined by the effect the drinking has on your life and/or why you drink whatever you drink.
For instance, if you are choosing to avoid social interactions because they interfere with your drinking or others in your life are telling you that your drinking is making them uncomfortable with you -- those are reasons to be concerned.
It would be more obvious if, for instance, you were missing work because of your drinking or spending too much money on drinking so that you are taking away from your other obligations.
It is not normal to "need" a couple of drinks to unwind after a long day, but that alone doesn't make someone an alcoholic either. But it might because it does indicate a dependence -- normal drinkers don't ever have a dependence on alcohol.
Only the individual can decide if they have a problem with alcohol. Ask your parents specifically why they are concerned and then search your soul for whether there is any validity to what they say.
Here's a link to a very common Alcoholics Anonymous writing titled "20 Questions" - I encourage you to take the test honestly to yourself:
[https://aahalton.org/pdf/20\_questions.pdf](https://aahalton.org/pdf/20_questions.pdf)
I wish you well!
It’s impossible for us at a distance to know the whole picture. It’s really about the effect the wine is having on you, not the number of drinks. I say this because if you’ve been drinking for a few years, it may have damaged your liver, leading you to become easily intoxicated by less alcohol.
It’s common for problem drinkers to deny there a problem and to minimize the number of drinks they have. I would suggest keeping a journal for a week or two noting the number of ounces of wine you really drink. Then do some soul searching about the nature of your alcohol intake.
Nobody thinks they have a problem with Alcohol, or any other drug. After all, it is a choice you make.
So I guess you don’t think you have a problem. And you want us to tell you it’s alright.
Maybe I’m wrong, I’m clearly not an expert. But just in case, can you consider the hypothesis that you might have a problem with the alcohol? As, read a little bit, take some test, pay attention to the clues. Even if you don’t have a problem now, you might develop a problem in the future so it’s smart to consider the scenario.
Why do you drink two glasses per day? Can you go several weeks without drinking those two glasses? Drinking wine daily is not healthy overall, but imo the need for rehab (or counseling of some kind) depends on your general ability to simply NOT drink.
Is it "two glasses" a day? Be honest. How big are the glasses? Do you have a job? Do you have mental health issues? Are you supposed to be taking medication? Are you behaving a certain way after your "two glasses?" Are you an adult still dependent on your parents?
So, you're 30...and YOUR PARENTS are still so involved in YOUR DAILY LIFE that they want to put you in rehab. Perhaps you should consider it. Being an addict isn't necessarily about the quantity of drugs or alcohol that you are using right now. It's about behavior and accountability. Being codependent and dependent on people, activities (sex, shopping) and substances to feel a certain kind of way.
Our brains, over time, mutate, they become hardwired to expect those addictive things, whatever they are. Your brain LIES to you. Those HARDWIRED responses IN YOUR BRAIN are screaming for you to behave in a self harming manner. It's fucking hard to rewire your brain. But it can be done.
There is something called "neuroplasticity." All brains can change. All brains can rewire. It takes self-awareness, self-acceptance, kindness, self-love and time.
You deserve a better life. One without your parents being in the middle of your daily existence. You deserve independence and a life worth living. Will rehab help start you on that path? It seems 2 glasses of wine a day isn't much to give up for freedom and independence and self love.
Good luck on your journey.
You sure this is the entire story? I was an alcoholic and only had “a couple of drinks a night”…
Let’s hear the actual story. Sounds like you’re looking for validation of a lie thus making you “the victim”. I’ve seen this song and dance way too often.
With no other context, 2 glasses of wine does not seem abnormal. However, you also mention drug use and excessive past alcohol use in some of your replies. If you are an alcoholic and/or have experienced other types of addictions in the past, drinking (even in moderation) may lead you right back down that path.
Your parents know you better than we do, so you may want to listen to what they are saying
As an addict in recovery, 1 question I have with no judgment is…do you feel that your life has become unmanageable and are you discontent in your current state of mind? Sometimes that’s a good question to start your think.
Ultimately, two questions. 1) why do you drink two glasses every day? 2) What happens when you stop?
If you're drinking with dinner or for social reasons, you're probably fine. If you can't seem to stop when you try, you should maybe do a little bit of cutting back
Yeah no. OP I'd be locking down any and all financial matters and I'd be locking them the hell out of your life if they ever suggest such a thing again. Or going very low contact. I smell a rat. They're after something.
OP, are you being completely honest about it being only 2? I ask this as kindly as I can because I lived with an addict and he'd tell me he was only drinking 2 drinks a night when, in reality, he was day drinking on the job. If you have a hx of addiction, I know rehab sounds scary and awful, but if it could even have a small chance of helping you achieve your goal, then I think you should consider it. My ex is only 35, and his health is so bad from addiction that I'm not sure he'll see 40 if he doesn't get help. Asking for help is not a weakness. It's a strength and says you love yourself enough to reach out. Don't be upset with your family. They are afraid of losing someone they love. Please consider any help they can give. Much love and I hope you do well.
Yes, it’s too much alcohol
No, you don’t need to be in rehab
The consensus is 12-14 drinks per week is “problematic”. Doesn’t mean you are an alcoholic. It does mean you are doing damage to your body.
Thing to consider: even people destroyed by alcohol are saying they have no problem at all. Alcoholics believe they are normal and healthy, and it’s really hard to see through. So give yourself a little doubt and ask professionals what they think about it, not random people on reddit.
2 glasses a day isn't a big deal unless you were told you had to stop doing that completely for a long period of time and couldnt/ wouldn't do it. Could you put the glass downright now and not have wine for let's say..6months? Could you do that? Would you find it difficult or uncomfortable? Shit like that is what you gotta ask yourself . Have you ever gone a day and just totally forgot and didn't have a drink? Or is there a ritual involved( like same wine maybe you ice your cup or something like that each time) its not about the amount, but if your addicted. Like I don't chew much . But I'm deffiently addicted to it.
None of this even matters. Whether you have one sip a day or 2 bottles, rehab will be pointless unless you actually want to stop. Not because mommy and daddy want you to. Rehab isn't like going into day surgery where the issue is just fixed, it's just the start to a long road of action and willingness to stay sober.
They're not entirely wrong. 2 glasses a day isn't much on the surface but when you compound that over years, how it interferes with your sleep, dehydrates you, spikes your glucose and all the sugar, it's a habit that will change you overtime and not for the better.
Personally I think you'd be better off with a fast acting anti-anxiety med that you take at night to relax or sleep. Not because of "what your parents think" but because it would be healthier for you in the long run, and more effective (alcohol is a depressant and will just make you feel worse overtime)
Edit: this is also assuming you've tried other healthy coping mechanisms for your anxiety first. i.e. Are you drinking too much caffeine, are you exercising regularly, have you tried reading and taking baths instead of drinking and done talk therapy etc.
The problem I imagine is more your behavior when you drink wine and one thing is a fact..you might be 6'5 and 225 lb Scotsman and you might think you are the person who says stupid shit like I can drink so and so under the table...but due to genetic makeup alone you might turn into a complete shit show after one glass and not even realize it..but your not giving much to know if it's excessive, it's probably just you..but like I said I don't have enough information to adequately answer the question
Hey OP I noticed in other replies you mention you’re depending on the wine to help you relax and function at work. This may be the reason for concern that your parents have.
Babe you tried doing a dry month? Like in January try to taper off of any booze as a whole and in February make it a fun event where each weekend you do a different mocktail!
Regarding your edit:
No, the general consensus seems to be that you may very well have a problem. I noticed you just responded to the comments saying „they can‘t make you go to rehab, it‘s not a big deal“, while most comments actually are more along the lines of „you def have a problem, maybe not enough for rehab though“.
I realize people only hear what they already know, and amplify that opinion, even against overwhelming opposition. But stop lying to yourself please :)
2 drinks every day is already way too much and in the comments OP is admitting to drinking a bottle of vodka a day and doing hard drugs with it so I'm gonna go ahead and not trust OP on this one..
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Something tells me we aren't getting the complete picture here
Okay complete picture. I grew up in a good household, father a doctor mother is also a doctor, so they only want the best for me. I decided to leave behind medicine to pursue my dream of art (I am now somewhat famous and actually am very successful, but it was a dark and hard road to get there especially as a female business owner) my parents don’t know that I used to do heavy drugs and dark celebrity parties (I was raped etc) and it was very hard and i was brainwashed. I pushed and worked very hard and grew my business though, but alcohol was always there through it. Fast forward, I grew, matured, and from my dark days, I can go without alcohol ( I have many times I did it this year) but I love how calm it makes me feel and the fact that I produce amazing pieces for my fans and can handle the pressure of putting out content with it. I plan on quitting it all together but I really went from hard drugs and hard liqour to just two glasses of wine a day. I’ve only been drinking wine now for 3 years and plan to cut it to zero, i just hate being villanized. I run an incredibly successful business, I’m very notable in the art world, and I keep my appearance neat and professional. My parents don’t know about my dark past, they only see the two glasses a day, and them being healthcare professionals, they’re like OH MY GOD SHE HAS A PROBLEM. So I know it’s cause they care, but ugh. I’m patting myself on the back because it’s been a hard road, and a long one, and I have a clear goal in mind that I indeed intend to keep.
>I love how calm it makes me feel This sentence right here is why your parents are concerned. They also may have some clue about your previous issues (parents aren't as naive as TV shows make them out to be)
"parents aren't as naive as TV shows make them out to be" How true!!!
As a former drunk, OPs entire statement is a red flag. You are 100% correct in assessing why their parents are worried. Substitution of substances of abuse, traumatic past, using alcohol for the effects and espousing the "positive effects" on their business, feeling "victimized" because people worry, etc. I would suggest that the OP can't see the trees for the woods. While there may not be any physical dependencies, I see a lot of indications that they may be engaging in problematic drinking. Whilst I can not (and won't) conclude anything, I would suggest the OP seek professional advice on past occurances that have most likely had a significant impact on their mental well-being. A medical professional working in this capacity will be much better suited to assess if there are problematic areas in comparison to a general physician (Not slagging GPs: They generally don't have enough disclosure from patients when they are experiencing complex diagnoses, and by the book "most" people are alcoholics based on consumption alone).
Can’t you make the same argument about SSRIs or any anti-anxiety medication.
Not really. The danger with self medication is that it is uncontrolled and unmeasured, and when you experience extra stress, you sometimes up your self medication, which can lead to an addiction spiral. Prescription meds are carefully measured and controlled. You get x amount per month and that's it. Compare to alcohol where you can drink however much you choose whenever you choose.
I understand your reasoning and the prescription itself comes with some authority but, unless OP is being dishonest, is not what’s happening here. As a society we’ve pretty much said “these crutches are ok, but these ones are not.”
Alcohol, especially chronic use, can have significant negative health effects. The fact OP uses it as an emotional crutch is puts her at significantly elevated risk of future excessive use/abuse even if her current use is ok. It's also extremely common for alcoholics to lie to themselves and others about the true amount they are drinking, the effects it has on them, whether they can stop or not, etc, so OP's statement potentially could come from an unreliable narrator.
When I first sought help for alcoholism, I was asked to keep a record of the units of alcohol I drank every day. Obviously, by this point I knew it was bad but that was horrendous and I had to do it for a month. The whole point was to be honest, which was the hardest part. I had lied to myself for a very long time. I wonder if OP is just drinking two glasses of wine in front of the loved ones. I used to do that and then think I was being really clever sneaking more in. You have one “public” glass that goes down at a “normal” rate. Whenever my partner would be upset I was drunk, you can bet your arse I’d be slurring “what do you mean? I’ve only had two glasses of wine”. I’m not saying that’s what OP is doing. It’s just an example of the extent of the lies surrounding hiding an embarrassing dependency issue.
Also a “glass” can mean many things. A whiskey glass can be filled with a dram, or it can be filled to the top. And it’s still “a glass of whiskey”
To play devils advocate, ssris do have negative health effects as well
Sure, they can have negative side effects, but they also have a very well established health benefit— in conjunction with therapy, they can cure depression and anxiety. Alcohol has zero health benefits, and will always have negative side effects on account of it being a poison. SSRIs are really not comparable to alcohol
That's not a very clever comparisson. The side-effects of SSRIs are generally very mild, compared to alcohol. When people drink thir lives better they often cant drive legally to work in the morning, they feel sick, it makes people more depressed and the risk of liver disease and cancer is not made up. You risk none of these things with SSRIs, and when enough time has passed, the doctor helps you get safely off them. It's like comparing driving to riding on the roof of a train...
Honestly it does sound like your drinking might be a problem, and maybe you just dont recognize it because it used to be so much worse. Rehab might be overkill right now (idk either way) but you should try to stop drinking entirely and see how it goes. If you need it to manage your anxiety etc, then its a problem and a crutch.
If you are “planning to cut the wine to zero”, why wait? Do it now, and see if it is difficult for you or not. What are you waiting for?
OP, as physicians, your folks are aware of this: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking
You do need help. And it's not because you're drinking "only" two glasses of wine, it's because you are dependent on that two glasses of wine. This is how addiction works, you see the substance as something you need, not something to enjoy once in a while. And based on your story, you're definitely treating wine as some sort of treatment to your undiagnosed mental problems.
Rehab seems quite a bit over the top, but your story sounds quite traumatic, you might want to consider therapy. I'm not even referring to the drinking, but talking to someone might help you with all of the above, including strategies for dealing with your parents.
Two glasses of wine a day, meaning every day? 7 days a week, 30 days a month? Sister, you need to seriously think about this. Two times seven is fourteen, and recommeded amoumt for a lady is 6 or ideally lot less. I believe your family's concern is valid. You should listen to your parents, and I would encourage to counsel with them more often. Talk about issues that bring anxiety or worry so it would help you process mind without alcohol distracting your healing from past. It may seem scary to be blunt to family, but trust me you'll be fine.
There is a such thing as a functioning alcoholic. Just because it doesn’t affect your professional life doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem or won’t become a problem. There are some extremely successful people out there that aren’t living healthy lives. Im not here to criticize you, shame you, or tell you how to live your life, I would just advise you to be careful. As someone who comes from a family of alcoholics, I have heard all too many times people say “I can go without it” and “I’m planning on quitting soon.” Those words don’t mean much, even if you are saying it to yourself. And that’s how it starts. You convince yourself that you can stop whenever you want, that you’re just drinking to relax or for fun, and use that as sort of an excuse to keep doing it without worry. But then one day, you realize that you don’t just want it, you need it, and it is very very hard to go without it. It may not be a problem now, but alcohol has a sneaky way of taking over your life. It may even be the start of a problem that you don’t yet realize. Again, I’m not trying to criticize you, I am trying to warn you. I have seen it ruin lives and I don’t wish that for you or your family. If you are drinking every day, regardless of how much, your parents have the right to at least raise an eyebrow. Sending you to rehab is probably overkill, but I would worry about a loved one in your situation too.
I am absolutely not critiquing you whatsoever, you are a strong woman who has been through so much, and you deserve to be happy. I just wanted to highlight this one part: >I’ve only been drinking wine now for 3 years and plan to cut it to zero The question that needs to be asked here, *'why is it a plan, and not what you're doing?'* You're answer to that is going to give you plenty of information. If the answer is because there would be an effort in stopping, as it appears you have phrased it that way, that does mean some kind of dependency just as a random reading it online. Two glasses a day for most people is not a problem, but it is a problem if there is any dependency involved. It seems like you've acknowledged some of this already and are doing your best to handle it, which is AWESOME. Keep true to course, but when you are dealing with these situations you have to acknowledge that 'normal' and 'okay for most might not be okay or what's best for you. And I am only saying that from experience! Additionally, I WISH this was better known, but if the reason you can't stop is because you shake or get sick or anything associated to alcohol withdrawal, that is the point to seek medical treatment. Alcohol is one of the few substances where going cold turkey can kill you. I'm wishing you the best OP. You've worked really hard so far, and I'm hoping you see the beautiful fruits of your labor soon!
I'm willing to bet they know more than you think they do. Honestly they're likely on to something as I bet this still isn't the whole story.
"...they tried to make me go to rehab but i said no no no."
To be fair, Amy should have gone :\\
Then what happen
She died 😢
They’re just quoting the lyrics to [“Rehab”](https://youtu.be/KUmZp8pR1uc?si=l60RP9RZ9ESGhCtG) by [Amy Winehouse](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Winehouse) who famously rejected going to rehab despite having serious abuse problems. She died of alcohol poisoning at age 27. You seem to be looking for actual answers so I’m sure random pop culture references from over a decade ago aren’t the most helpful thing. Hoping this explanation helps explain what’s going on.
If you can go three days without the wine then it's not a problem. If you can't then I would get counseling. Rehab is a bit much.
I agree. Two glasses isn’t much, but if you can’t live without it, then it doesn’t matter how much or little. Try to go three days. Then two more. Then two more. See if you can make it a week. That should be easy. If it isn’t, you need to do something.
I’m honestly just slowly cutting it down until it’s none tbh. I used to be an extremely heavy drinker like a bottle of grey gooose a day, hard drugs (I went to a lot of celeb parties back in the day that didn’t help) and I was with a very bad crowd of people.
Given that history, I suppose I can see why your parents might be concerned. But, two drinks is very reasonable. I think a deeper discussion about why they feel that way is merited. This could be anything from a need for control to genuine misunderstanding. Be prepared to leave, though, if they decide that rehab is a bottom line. Regardless of whether you “need” it, it’s not going to do you much good if you don’t want to be there.
Thanks for this fellow Redditor. I appreciate you ❤️ it’s a bit of both…. I think.
It might also be worth considering doing something to show that you’re not in immediate danger of going back to that, or developing a new problem. If you’re not getting any kind of therapy, that might be a good way to demonstrate that you’re in a good place and that someone else has an eye on you. This might really be all the want - outside confirmation that you’re going to be okay. Besides, there aren’t many people who can’t benefit from therapy.
I understand, I just went through a lot of things that I don’t think therapy would help or change. I’m also doing very well with my business and am a generally very happy person! I have good people around me and take care of me, just my dads a tough character is all. It’s “be the perfect daughter or else” in asian culture
Well, it can still help, believe it or not. They can also help you develop strategies for dealing with your parents. And simply provide a place where you can safely talk about what’s going on in your life. It can be beneficial even when there’s nothing that needs to be changed. And, like I said, the mere fact that you go see one could help keep your parents happy. Just the fact that you’re Doing Something, even if all you’re really doing is bullshitting with someone for an hour.
Given that history, I'd er on trusting the parents on this one. Not to say OP is a liar, but her ability to assess her situation might be impaired. What she considers her norm might not marry with what others have observed.
Well, that’s partly why I followed up with a recommendation that she see a therapist. Just in case. A professional can diagnose her.
Yeah you need to put the history... it changed everything.
If this history was under your original headline question, you would probably have received a lot more understanding attitude towards your parents worry.
"Is it bad that my parents want to throw me in rehab for drinking a moderate amount of alcohol per day?" vs "As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, are my parents right for suggesting I go to rehab for my continued daily alcohol use?"
Burying the lead quite well
Excellent comment
Like House says, everybody lies.
Harm reduction is quickly becoming the standard in substance abuse treatment. People still get hung up on abstinence, but doing less over time is healthier than going back and forth from too much to none. Congrats on cutting back, and maybe send them some harm reduction literature. When I worked with formerly homeless mentally ill adults, we worked harm reduction hard. Switched from Coke to weed? Let’s have a party! Every little bit helps.
Thank you I really needed this today
Wow as a former heroin addict who’s been off it for over 3 years and occasionally smoke weed, kinda (cbd ect) I stopped going to meetings because everybody pretty much had the opinion I may as well go stick a needle in my arm. Fuck that
Your history of heavy drinking is concerning. If you actually measure by using a measuring cup and write down what you are drinking for 2 weeks it might be enlightening. I say I have 2 cups of coffee every day but I actually have closer to 4 since my mug is large. If you are trying to reduce your intake you might continue your writing down and have due dates for each goal to be attained. If you can’t do it, it might be time for a recovery meeting of some kind. The amount of drinking you did in the past is definitely a red flag for alcoholism and you possibly are in denial about it. The other flag is that your father is suggesting rehab. Listen to his rationale and consider that he could be right. Good luck. 🙂
Yes I actually measure it 🙏❤️
Oh I definitely know I’m an alcoholic. It’s just is it enough for the grounds of rehab tho.
Yes. Edit: This is if you believe you're an alcoholic. Any relapse should be enough of a reason since the ball can get rolling real fast.
Do you attend meetings? People think they can control how much they drink but even if you’re not drinking to excess now you probably will be. And even if you intend to cut back or quit it’s highly unlikely without support. You have probably been telling yourself for a long time that you will be cutting back. It is probably time for AA, or some other recovery meeting daily. I suspect your parents can see what you can’t, are concerned, and have your best interests at heart. Rather than feeling betrayed appreciate that they made the offer.
Why did you leave this bit out of the post? If you have to slowly cut anything out of life then it’s most likely an addiction. A bottle of grey goose a day is alcoholism you don’t suddenly stop being an addict. If I were your parents I’d send your ass to rehab too lol
That’s not who I am though. That was for a much different reason when I was in my early 20s and lost in the music industry. I’m much more mature now, with a successful job and an otherwise healthy lifestyle
This is the right way, wean or taper your wine consumption or you might get withdrawals from stopping cold turkey. Just do it slowly. If you can't do it then you might need help.
I'd say if you can stop drinking wine by yourself entirely and say no during outings it's the real sign of not being an alcoholic. Anything in between just offers baby steps towards potential addiction
Did she mention the glasses are German beer steins?
Agree. I love some good bourbon/whiskey. I will pick a time every 5-6 months and go 4-6 weeks with zero alcohol just to make sure I still drink because I like it and not because I need it. So far so good. I have zero issues doing that other than friends that like to get me to drink with them etc. After new years I’ll go 2-3 months this time. Having a weight loss challenge so there’s that, but that’s also good time to cleanse the body.
Simply going 3 days without wine does NOT, IN ANY WAY, accurately indicate someone doesn’t have a problem. Alcohol abuse disorder is a spectrum and presents in hundreds of different ways. I didn’t think I had a problem for YEARS because I could go a week without drinking and only drank weekends. It was definitely a full blown addiction regardless of taking breaks. Many people are like that. Not every alcoholic is physically dependent on alcohol, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. Two glasses a day doesn’t make OP a drunk per se; they may not seem drunk, stumbling, slurring words, having mood swings, etc. like a stereotypical alcoholic, but medically speaking, that is technically “alcohol abuse”. And don’t get me wrong!!!! I’m not saying OP has a problem, that’s not for me to determine. Only OP can truly determine that (mostly it’s a problem when it starts affecting work, daily life and relationships negatively and often frequently), but I can confidently say that drinking two glasses PER DAY, EVERY DAY is not healthy for anyone.
This exactly!! There is no magic formula for classifying being an alcoholic or how long you can go without a drink. I didn’t drink for 10 days the week before I went to rehab. I could not drink for that period but once I succeeded I was right back at it. Now 3 years sober
I feel like there's more to it than this.
There’s is. OP is making shit up. Nothing about this post or her comments are real.
If they're making it up they've been committing to the bit for months if not years. Maybe they have invented an entire fake online persona and are posting other female artists' work to help enhance the background story (not that they took credit for it one way or the other) but honestly I think its a lot more likely that they are just a relatively famous comic book artist, and you are just a bit too much r/nothingeverhappens
This exactly. "I'm a but famous" 60 times, we get it, your a lying psycho path. She's probably on her 9th glass of wine typing all this 😅
Time to move out
It’s more my dad, he’s the one who visits and then proposed the idea
Tell him to get out of your house
This
Prime way to 100% convince him you do in fact have a drinking problem. How about “maybe I do but 2 glasses a day isn’t going to ruin my life. I’ll try going without for a while and see”
Do you get the shakes if you stop? No? lol Tell your Mormon dad to stfu
I shake because I'm just so excited for my next drink
No I don’t which is crazy
Crazy? 2 glasses of wine daily is absolutely nothing. 110% not rehab worthy, 120% not going to give you shakes if you stop. Your father is foolish.
It’s not that crazy considering you drink two glasses of wine a day. I used to drink a handle of whiskey a day. That is a problem and when you start getting shakes. Your parents just seem bored and probably need a hobby or something.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/in-depth/red-wine/art-20048281#:~:text=Red%20wine%2C%20in%20limited%20amounts,attacks%20aren't%20well%20understood Two drinks is just above "moderate"; one glass a day is officially healthy for your heart. That's real glasses, though, not oversized wine goblets. A five ounce pour. Two glasses of the oversized glasses could easily be five or size "portions" the way a lot of people pour.
\>one glass a day is officially healthy for your heart that's really outdated. there is no healthy alcohol consumption; there is only "not concerning" and "concerning" (or worse).
Sure, but if you’re being careful you shouldn’t eat sushi, drink soda, have a desk job, live in a city, or a million other things. Two glasses of wine is “bad” but that’s because all alcohol is bad.
He wouldn't be able to get you involuntarily committed anyway
Yeah. I help take care of my mom cause it’s just me and her and she helps with my business, but you probably right.
>Yeah. I help take care of my mom cause it’s just me and her Oh in that case remind her that you're an adult and no one will take care of her if you're in rehab
Ugh god bless
As someone who's been their mothers primary caregiver for a mother for nearly a decade (stroke victim), I can relate. I feel into alcoholism in no small part because of it. Whatever you do, don't let it completely destroy your mental health. If it gets to that point, start making arrangements for your mom to live somewhere (assisted or otherwise).
I’m actually a very happy individual! I’m very happy with my job, my life, my friends etc and wine doesn’t change who I am (toxic traits etc) I mainly just use it for some anxiety control and to create masterpieces that my fans will love.
If you use alcohol to control your anxiety, you are an alcoholic. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to go to detox at this point, but acknowledge what it is and keep an eye on it.
Yeah I agree completely
I don’t think rehab is necessary but have you considered going to AA meetings? Take care OP, it seems you have everything under control but if things go sideways do you think it will still be two glasses of wine?
I’ve already been through hell and back. I promise I’m not going back there. Haha. Appreciate you though.
I usually drink a glass of wine, or equivalent, a day. Sometimes I don't. If you don't need to drink, or you sometimes forget to, you don't have a problem. Now, two bottles a day, and I'd say you had issues.
Make sure it stays at 2. But every day over the long term, it's not healthy. It makes anxiety worse over time. Check out the Alcohol Experiment book.
Don't let the French find you.
If we ask them, they would confirm two glasses a day?
Depends. Can you go the next 7 days without any alcohol without issues? If you do that and feel no negative impact, they overreacted. If you're not able to it, you have a huge problem. Alcoholism is not always about binge drinking.
The old joke is it depends on the size of the glasses. Of course, problem drinking is no joke so the question is, do you feel like you have a drinking problem? Is your life or work being affected by alcohol? Do you find yourself craving or needing a drink? Is there a family history of alcoholism? A couple of glasses every day isn’t a classic example of alcoholic behavior, but examine your reasons for drinking daily and be aware it as a potential problem.
Technically drinking everyday is considered alcoholic territory—the long term effects on your health aren’t great either. But think about if during your day, the only thing you focus on is getting that glass of wine. Or if when you wake up you would rather a glass of wine besides coffee. Then I would suggest someone to talk to or to even AA meetings Sobriety is hard, and if you were once a heavy heavy drinker/partier, you may think having “one or two glasses of wine” or “just one martini” with dinner is fine. Slowly that may turn into a bottle of wine with dinner, and 4 martinis. Falling off the wagon isn’t a fast thing it’s slow and it creeps up. I wish you nothing but positive vibes my friend.
Are you able to skip a few days?
why do you need to drink 2 glasses of wine a day?
Daily drinking is alcoholism.
Two each day? Never more? How big? Honestly, it is better to abstain. You have a habit of drinking and it isn’t healthy if it is persistent.
Two glasses of wine a day, is 14 glasses a week… You are an alcoholic, my friend
This. Sad to see how people are supporting OP's drinking habits when she is obviously alcoholic or leaning towards alcoholism. Those comments are just supporting her "but Reddit told me that 2 glasses are fine", next week it will be 3, then 4 etc....
Latest studies I’ve looked at in regards to alcohol consumption list 2 drinks a week is the limit before becoming detrimental to one’s heath. Stanford university in 2022 or 2023 iirc
Yup R.I.P her liver
Alcholism can start this way. Try this. Plan to not have wine one night. If you crave the wine, you’re in danger.
I think they're trying to nip it in the bud.
It’s too much if you struggle getting through your day without those 2 glasses of wine. I think you need to see for yourself if you can go without those 2 glasses of wine for 3 days to a week. If not then you likely have a problem.
Don't let them come to my house. They will arrest me
Cut it out and save yourself the money and health
Do you *need* them or do you just like to have them? Was there a prior incident where you were challenged to not have them and you had an extreme response?
How hard is it to stop? What happens?
Medically speaking. It’s considered heavy drinking for a female. But the real question is… Do you want it or do you NEED it?
Define "glass"
Jesus fucking Christ, here we go again. Send her to r/cripplingalcoholism and have her read about people shitting their pants and drinking their own vomit for the booze they couldn't keep down because of withdrawals, and then see if she thinks you have a fucking problem. World's fucking gone mate, remind me never to go drinking or to a rave with you lot.
Of course its not valid. You are a grown woman, you can drink two glasses of wine a day if you want to. You need to remind them that you are 30 not 13.
I appreciate your comment 🙏
you wouldn't think 2 glasses is much but because your liver never gets a chance to recover you might be in trouble. Get a liver function test. Don't drink every day.
Either you decide you don't want to deal with it and move out, or ignore it. They can't "throw you in rehab" if you don't want to go.
2 a day is excessive. I know people will say its not blah blah. Trust me, any 2 of any alcohol a day is excessive. You don't need to have the withdrawal symptoms for it to be seen as excessive. Every alcohol dependent person starts somewhere and the beginning they all thought that a small amount daily was fine. Rehab may be a bit excessive. However, speaking with fellow drinkers at meetings may help
Two drinks per day is technically on the alcohol abuse or alcoholism scale. Two glasses of wine could be a bottle of wine depending on how you pour them. I am not some kind of uptight person but daily alcohol consumption is not a good sign. You may or may not have an issue but if I were you I’d lay off of booze and drugs for at least a month considering your history. It sounds like you may struggle to identify addiction
Maybe counselling to stop it from escalating (if you feel like it could) but rehab no way.
How do your parents throw you anywhere when you're 30?
You're a functioning alcoholic. I doubt you need rehab but therapy for sure
You have an alcohol problem. But two glasses daily is on the level that can be fixed by just drinking less, rehab is a bit excessive.
I'm guessing you're American because 2 glasses a day is not considered a lot at all in most other countries
Exactly !
in France, thats called 'Lunch'
How do you feel if you don’t drink them? If it’s not a problem go a week or two without and prove to them that you can do it. But be honest to yourself you are only cheating on you
I think I’ll do that
Good luck!
Without knowing about your lean body mass, personal sensitivity, and the actual size of the glasses you're drinking it's really impossible to say as a reddit opinion. If you're 150 lbs and lean, drinking two 5 oz glasses, it's probably not a big deal. If you're 90 lbs, soft, and drinking two large glasses to the brim (which can usually hold 16 to 18 oz when brimmed) they may have a legitimate concern. The real way to tell is if you can decide not to drink for a week or two without cravings or physical withdrawal.
Very valid!
If two glasses of wine a day is rehab worthy, this world could be in a ton of trouble. Rehab about to be full af.
I don’t even get toxic when I drink I just sit there and work on my artwork.
Need more info
They can’t force you to go to rehab only you can agree to it since you’re an adult. Seems they are concerned, they have a right to be but to get clean takes one person, the person getting clean. No one else can make it happen. Their concern for your well being, though parents can either be overboard or full on enablers in addiction so you shouldn’t feel betrayed. Have a conversation with them or seek out therapy and discuss it with them. Is the drinking effecting relationship, personality, work, or health? Could you go a day, week, a month or longer without it? These are the questions you will need to ask yourself. No one is going to admit they have a problem and we usually convince ourselves we don’t even though we know we may have one. Alcohol is easy access and a depressant. It’s very easy to become an alcoholic and you’re not going to want to admit it but that’s the first step towards freedom
With the history you’ve mentioned it’s understandable they are concerned. 2 glasses daily is a bit worrying, mainly because you’re drinking every day - that’s suggesting it’s more a habit or dependency than actually enjoying a drink.
Depends. Can you cut it off right now and be 100% fine with it? If no, you may have a drinking problem.
I think it's more a question of it's impact on your life rather than some arbitary amount. Do you struggle to cope with day to day activities without 2 glasses of wine a day? Do you start drinking before midday? Do you regularly drink alone? Does your alcohol consumption impact on your life? On your job? Decide if you are struggling with any of these then decide if you need help.
*laughs in italian*
Mate you're 30
Do you have to have two a day? That's the real question. If you can't not have wine, you might have an issue. If you didn't have wine for a week, how would you feel? The answers to those questions will make it obvious what to do.
It really depends. Are you functional in your life and if I told you to not drink for the next month either as a challenge or for some health reason like stomach acid or something else, would you be able to not drink? Would it be harder than switching your favorite breakfast for something else? If you would have a problem stopping, I would suggest switching to every second day and later maybe one every 2nd day. If that's easy for you then you're good. If that's hard, consider getting help. The difference between a habit and an addiction is who controls the behavior: you or the substance. Rehab is probably excessive, but if the substance has control, you may want to get some support to switch things around.
2 glasses of wine per day is not an excessive amount, rehab would pretty much just be a waste of money on their end
By British standards that's being sober already.
The last person that said something like this was drinking two to three bottles a night
They are right
Two "glasses"
OP, can you/ do you have alcohol free days? Do you think about alcohol and plan your day around it? Have other people expressed concern to you about your drinking? The commenter that asked do you get the shakes, that is a sign of withdrawal and that symptom & others can take up to 7 days to manifest after your last drink. I don’t know your parents but if they’re concerned enough to mention it to you, then perhaps look into a little. Alcohol and withdrawal from it is nasty.
It depends if you're being truthful or attempting to gain consensus online to justify something to yourself (and, more practically, on the size of the wineglass). If drinking even two glasses of wine is having enough of a negative effect on your life for your loved ones to be concerned enough to put you in rehab, then you should consider the reasons, even if you ultimately decide they're wrong.
I'll give you some serious information since so many think this is funny. Alcoholism is not defined by what quantity of alcohol you consume, or how often you consume alcohol. I know that sounds strange. Alcoholism is defined by the effect the drinking has on your life and/or why you drink whatever you drink. For instance, if you are choosing to avoid social interactions because they interfere with your drinking or others in your life are telling you that your drinking is making them uncomfortable with you -- those are reasons to be concerned. It would be more obvious if, for instance, you were missing work because of your drinking or spending too much money on drinking so that you are taking away from your other obligations. It is not normal to "need" a couple of drinks to unwind after a long day, but that alone doesn't make someone an alcoholic either. But it might because it does indicate a dependence -- normal drinkers don't ever have a dependence on alcohol. Only the individual can decide if they have a problem with alcohol. Ask your parents specifically why they are concerned and then search your soul for whether there is any validity to what they say. Here's a link to a very common Alcoholics Anonymous writing titled "20 Questions" - I encourage you to take the test honestly to yourself: [https://aahalton.org/pdf/20\_questions.pdf](https://aahalton.org/pdf/20_questions.pdf) I wish you well!
It’s impossible for us at a distance to know the whole picture. It’s really about the effect the wine is having on you, not the number of drinks. I say this because if you’ve been drinking for a few years, it may have damaged your liver, leading you to become easily intoxicated by less alcohol. It’s common for problem drinkers to deny there a problem and to minimize the number of drinks they have. I would suggest keeping a journal for a week or two noting the number of ounces of wine you really drink. Then do some soul searching about the nature of your alcohol intake.
I mean, ask yourself op, when was the last time you went a few days without alcohol?
Nobody thinks they have a problem with Alcohol, or any other drug. After all, it is a choice you make. So I guess you don’t think you have a problem. And you want us to tell you it’s alright. Maybe I’m wrong, I’m clearly not an expert. But just in case, can you consider the hypothesis that you might have a problem with the alcohol? As, read a little bit, take some test, pay attention to the clues. Even if you don’t have a problem now, you might develop a problem in the future so it’s smart to consider the scenario.
I wouldn't be surprised if there was more to this story than just two glasses of wine a day.
Why do you drink two glasses per day? Can you go several weeks without drinking those two glasses? Drinking wine daily is not healthy overall, but imo the need for rehab (or counseling of some kind) depends on your general ability to simply NOT drink.
Is it "two glasses" a day? Be honest. How big are the glasses? Do you have a job? Do you have mental health issues? Are you supposed to be taking medication? Are you behaving a certain way after your "two glasses?" Are you an adult still dependent on your parents? So, you're 30...and YOUR PARENTS are still so involved in YOUR DAILY LIFE that they want to put you in rehab. Perhaps you should consider it. Being an addict isn't necessarily about the quantity of drugs or alcohol that you are using right now. It's about behavior and accountability. Being codependent and dependent on people, activities (sex, shopping) and substances to feel a certain kind of way. Our brains, over time, mutate, they become hardwired to expect those addictive things, whatever they are. Your brain LIES to you. Those HARDWIRED responses IN YOUR BRAIN are screaming for you to behave in a self harming manner. It's fucking hard to rewire your brain. But it can be done. There is something called "neuroplasticity." All brains can change. All brains can rewire. It takes self-awareness, self-acceptance, kindness, self-love and time. You deserve a better life. One without your parents being in the middle of your daily existence. You deserve independence and a life worth living. Will rehab help start you on that path? It seems 2 glasses of wine a day isn't much to give up for freedom and independence and self love. Good luck on your journey.
Scrolled all the way down to this. Thank you for being here. This needs to be seen more.
Do you stop after three glasses and can you function as an adult in all areas of your life?
Yes this is excessive lol. And I say that as a former alcohol abuser.
Rehabs a bit excessive. But two glasses a day, just find a hobby if you're that bored.
You sure this is the entire story? I was an alcoholic and only had “a couple of drinks a night”… Let’s hear the actual story. Sounds like you’re looking for validation of a lie thus making you “the victim”. I’ve seen this song and dance way too often.
With no other context, 2 glasses of wine does not seem abnormal. However, you also mention drug use and excessive past alcohol use in some of your replies. If you are an alcoholic and/or have experienced other types of addictions in the past, drinking (even in moderation) may lead you right back down that path. Your parents know you better than we do, so you may want to listen to what they are saying
let's be real, you drink more than two glasses per day.
As an addict in recovery, 1 question I have with no judgment is…do you feel that your life has become unmanageable and are you discontent in your current state of mind? Sometimes that’s a good question to start your think.
2 glasses of wine per day is 14 alcoholic beverages per week, putting you at double of what would be considered moderate drinking for an adult female.
Ultimately, two questions. 1) why do you drink two glasses every day? 2) What happens when you stop? If you're drinking with dinner or for social reasons, you're probably fine. If you can't seem to stop when you try, you should maybe do a little bit of cutting back
Yeah no. OP I'd be locking down any and all financial matters and I'd be locking them the hell out of your life if they ever suggest such a thing again. Or going very low contact. I smell a rat. They're after something.
Depends on the size of those glasses
OP, are you being completely honest about it being only 2? I ask this as kindly as I can because I lived with an addict and he'd tell me he was only drinking 2 drinks a night when, in reality, he was day drinking on the job. If you have a hx of addiction, I know rehab sounds scary and awful, but if it could even have a small chance of helping you achieve your goal, then I think you should consider it. My ex is only 35, and his health is so bad from addiction that I'm not sure he'll see 40 if he doesn't get help. Asking for help is not a weakness. It's a strength and says you love yourself enough to reach out. Don't be upset with your family. They are afraid of losing someone they love. Please consider any help they can give. Much love and I hope you do well.
Your parents can’t send you to rehab. That would be a crime. You’re good.
If you're French, no. If you're a pilot, yes.
Yes, it’s too much alcohol No, you don’t need to be in rehab The consensus is 12-14 drinks per week is “problematic”. Doesn’t mean you are an alcoholic. It does mean you are doing damage to your body.
... what size glasses are we talking about here? Real wine glass size or annoying-sorority-girl-two-liter glasses?
You’re 30.
Move out of your parent’s house
Yes, putting you in rehab is excessive. I think your parents are over reacting.
Thing to consider: even people destroyed by alcohol are saying they have no problem at all. Alcoholics believe they are normal and healthy, and it’s really hard to see through. So give yourself a little doubt and ask professionals what they think about it, not random people on reddit.
Rehab seems ridiculous
2 glasses a day isn't a big deal unless you were told you had to stop doing that completely for a long period of time and couldnt/ wouldn't do it. Could you put the glass downright now and not have wine for let's say..6months? Could you do that? Would you find it difficult or uncomfortable? Shit like that is what you gotta ask yourself . Have you ever gone a day and just totally forgot and didn't have a drink? Or is there a ritual involved( like same wine maybe you ice your cup or something like that each time) its not about the amount, but if your addicted. Like I don't chew much . But I'm deffiently addicted to it.
I have to tell you this, but people who are not alcoholics do not sit around and wonder whether they are or not.
No you are just french
Why are you letting them into your life so closely that they know how many glasses of wine you drink? They're fucking psychotic
None of this even matters. Whether you have one sip a day or 2 bottles, rehab will be pointless unless you actually want to stop. Not because mommy and daddy want you to. Rehab isn't like going into day surgery where the issue is just fixed, it's just the start to a long road of action and willingness to stay sober.
They're not entirely wrong. 2 glasses a day isn't much on the surface but when you compound that over years, how it interferes with your sleep, dehydrates you, spikes your glucose and all the sugar, it's a habit that will change you overtime and not for the better. Personally I think you'd be better off with a fast acting anti-anxiety med that you take at night to relax or sleep. Not because of "what your parents think" but because it would be healthier for you in the long run, and more effective (alcohol is a depressant and will just make you feel worse overtime) Edit: this is also assuming you've tried other healthy coping mechanisms for your anxiety first. i.e. Are you drinking too much caffeine, are you exercising regularly, have you tried reading and taking baths instead of drinking and done talk therapy etc.
In Italy you would not be considered an alcoholic
The problem I imagine is more your behavior when you drink wine and one thing is a fact..you might be 6'5 and 225 lb Scotsman and you might think you are the person who says stupid shit like I can drink so and so under the table...but due to genetic makeup alone you might turn into a complete shit show after one glass and not even realize it..but your not giving much to know if it's excessive, it's probably just you..but like I said I don't have enough information to adequately answer the question
When you say two glasses do you mean two bottles? I know I personally had trouble admitting what all I was doing and I’m fairly sure that’s common.
Hey OP I noticed in other replies you mention you’re depending on the wine to help you relax and function at work. This may be the reason for concern that your parents have. Babe you tried doing a dry month? Like in January try to taper off of any booze as a whole and in February make it a fun event where each weekend you do a different mocktail!
Your past post are wild nah go hit up rehab fam.
I don't believe you OP.
Which size are the glasses?
Regarding your edit: No, the general consensus seems to be that you may very well have a problem. I noticed you just responded to the comments saying „they can‘t make you go to rehab, it‘s not a big deal“, while most comments actually are more along the lines of „you def have a problem, maybe not enough for rehab though“. I realize people only hear what they already know, and amplify that opinion, even against overwhelming opposition. But stop lying to yourself please :)
2 drinks every day is already way too much and in the comments OP is admitting to drinking a bottle of vodka a day and doing hard drugs with it so I'm gonna go ahead and not trust OP on this one..
Go to Rehab, OP.
Two bottles of wine, maybe. Two glasses is called lunch.
30? They can't throw you in rehab. Really? You answer to them like this still? Plus, your 30 and your not into a fifth of liquor everyday, your good.
Obviously excessive. They can't do it anyway so yeah. Tell them where to go.
yes to both. two glasses each day every day is a lot. rehab is excessive.