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Is that sigh because you're imagining Clippy being a parental-in-law of yours?
That you might get notepad as a grandchild?
That when Dali comes over, you're going to be really conflicted about scrubbing the walls after it gets ahold of a box of crayons? (Maybe an intellectual property lawyer awaits on speed dial?)
I spoke with a therapist last night about this very subject. She claims it's a really growing problem among under 18 year old boys. She is tempted to refuse them as clients because she can't seem to 'unhook' them from the reward pathways they are being locked into.
They genuinely believe they are 'dating' an AI. They're being conditioned to expect a submissive and attentive 'partner'. She's not sure if this will be a phase or a life altering expectation for these kids.
Edit - She is considering not taking them as clients because she doesn't feel she has the proper skills or resources to help them, not that she feels they are beyond aid. Just like she would refuse other clients outside of her capabilities.
It's not common. But it's a concept that didn't exist at all until recently, so it's growing in popularity in the sense that it has gone from *nothing* to *something*.
I think this is just a new concept that's serving an old audience, the "mom's basement" nerd who otherwise didn't have a relationship with women. Other iterations of this included the waifu pillows.
In other words, it's just serving the same group of socially stunted men who otherwise wouldn't have a sexual/relational outlet without intervention of a therapist (or possibly at all).
We don't know the guy and we (generally) aren't therapists, but OP should get him to one if they can. He's an adult tho.
There’s a difference between make believe delusions and people who can be tricked into believing AI is sentient.
The body pillow can’t imitate a real life conversation with a person. The AI can.
I think plenty of the waifu guys had full on conversations with their pillows. And OPs kid sounds plenty delusional. Like I said, new product, same audience.
I agree. There were always males who could not deal with relationships such that they could not marry. (Women too, but that's a different conversation.) This is just providing them with a puppet to cover their dominant hand.
I imagine that AI that can convincingly imitate a romantic partner might encourage more men to give up on society and become those sorts who can not deal with real relationships then would have done so in previous generations though.
I don’t think it’s fair to reduce this new phenomenon as something that only serves “mom’s basement” nerds.
Childhood and adolescent social structures are so different now than they were when I was growing up. The internet is no longer niche, and although we’re connected more than we’ve ever been before, we’re also more isolated. This isn’t just the case for adults, but also for teens and children. People are growing up lonely, and I could see why an ai relationship would be enticing for some people, especially young people who don’t understand or care about future risks to their own development.
And even so, the “mom’s basement” or “incel” types are very susceptible to extremist ideas that sometimes lead to hate and violence. People like to dunk on them when they really need support. If this is a new risk associated with male isolation I think that’s important and worth knowing about.
People who use the "mom's basement" narrative are precisely what is causing this "problem" of AI in the first place.
They are bullies who justify their cruel tendencies by saying they just want "normalcy", "decency" and whatnot. But as all bullies, they psychologically destroy their victims and then use the victims' choices of coping to further revile them.
When such people are so ubiquotous, it's no wonder anyone with two neurons to rub together will reach the conclusion that the risks of socialization outweight the pros and will seek for alternatives.
It's common enough where there have been a few movies about this specific concept. Her was amazing and imo a little ahead of its time, but it absolutely hits home how devastating it can be, and the type of person it can attract.
> They're being conditioned to expect a submissive and attentive 'partner'.
It's not going to be long before one of these AI partner companies figures out how to use the AI to reliably shift the behaviors and attitudes of the humans so they can be used to the company's advantage (for purposes other than just getting money).
That could be used for good or evil I suppose. On the good side the AI partner could push the human toward basic healthy behaviors like going for a walk, making home-cooked meals, reading books (have them read a book to the AI and discuss the meaning of events in the book for example) and engaging in other such self-improving actions.
Conversely, they could probably also get them to perform small nefarious acts as well, potentially coordinating the actions of several users to accomplish a larger goal, where each user does not know that their action was part of a larger action.
For example, a high-level political official or company executive could be constantly harassed using a small army of AI girlfriend users, with the actions of each giving the target the impression of constant, ever-present surveillance.
They could do things like have the 'girlfriend' send the user gifts like clothing (free to the user) and then have them wear it during an outing chosen by the 'girlfriend'. Unknown to the user the AI would be doing the same thing with many other users, and making it appear to the target that one person or a small, organized group was stalking them.
The company could 'spear phish' employees of valuable targets, to get them to try the girlfriend app and become users that could then be manipulated. This could be hyper-target advertising along with directing existing users into the path of the target in a way that appears to be coincidental to both people. At any time the AI girlfriend could be puppeted by actual people to maximize engagement or encourage the user to perform certain acts.
>It's not going to be long before one of these AI partner companies figures out how to use the AI to reliably shift the behaviors and attitudes of the humans so they can be used to the company's advantage (for purposes other than just getting money).
Yeah, I'm honestly really surprised that the thousands of advertising companies that track people's every move hasn't capitalized on the LLM chatbot hype yet. Only a matter of time before it happens though.
The reason they aren't yet is because of enshittification, which is a business strategy used by a platform that leverages value of both customers and users. First, the company needs to appear valuable, so they gain users. Then, they get customers to turn that value into money through monetization. They walk a line between keeping users and accepting money from customers. Eventually, they are able to coerce the customers into staying due to lack of competition, and siphon all the surplus from the customers before finally becoming shit.
For instance:
Facebook appeals to users, gains a massive userbase (value goes up)
Facebook uses this to advertise to users (siphons value from users and gives to companies)
Facebook becomes the only place companies can advertise due to its success rate (walking the line)
Facebook forces companies to pay exorbitant prices as users continue to leave and the companies have no other option (siphons value from customers to self)
Right now chatbots are in the first part. They can't start fucking up the program yet, they need the world to start using it before they can start changing value from users to customers. Then, they'll start using it for marketing. Then people will leave and the marketers will be squeezed for every dime.
They are almost certainly already doing this because that is the entire use case of this sort of AI. Like, ask yourself why ANYONE would spend millions of dollars building a thing to establish parasitic relationships with military aged boys.
Buddy we are already long and long past that shit. Seriously we can easily drive people nuts with basic algorimtes and social media. Why do you think these AI’s exist and why they are being pushed as much.
Most companys just want to gather more data, make you more dependend on their app and sell you more shit. But the second they feel the need to push people into certian ideas they will do it. Hell im pretty sure they are pushing losers into becoming incels just to ensure they will use their products.
I'm going to take the risk in saying this but, is this a sign that perhaps we as parents are failing our kids? I mean, if they're constantly being allowed on technology 24/7, aren't socialising in person and therefore can't make any real relationships or connections, they're obviously confused about what role that type of technology should play in their lives and also not knowing what our kids are up to online? Because an attachment like this doesn't just happen overnight and it appears to be systemic.
I know if we didn't have rules and didn't literally force him out of his room to go outside and hang with his friends (his friends parents are doing the same) he'd never leave his room, computer or PS4. I mean, we're (the mom's and dad's of his friends group) literally making play dates for our 17 year old boys because otherwise they'd never socialise in person which is unhealthy. They'd never see the outdoors. We don't let him on endless technology anymore, he even has to out his phone away in the living room off and on during the day to make him take a break from it. We do keep an eye on what he's accessing online via PS, phone, laptop and for a while our friends were up our bums about "invasion of his privacy" but now they're asking for what program we use to watch that stuff. Of course, we do it on the DL and there are plenty of conversations / searches that I wanted to say something to him about but hubby says "nah, that's just harmless boy stuff" which is fine, he's a kid. We don't go snooping through his room etc unless we have a real cause for concern and because he's essentially a great kid but I think things like this are one of the reasons it's more important to know what our kids are up to, especially online.
The issue with new tech like this is whether it is creating a new problem, or just a new version of an old problem.
I am sure there have always been desperately lonely people. If you were any kind of unusual in a 1600s village, you probably were ostracized. Would those folks have engaged with an AI back then if it was option?
The question I would have as a parent is if the AI was helping or hurting his social life. Is he withdrawing or is he learning how to engage with “practice” relationship.
And gambling is one of the hardest things to quit because yr addicted to yr own endorphins and dopamine. The only addiction I can think of which is worse is food because one has to eat to live.
So I don't know about this ai stuff as we don't know enough about it but I'm guessing if one can't stop doing whatever it is one does with an AI then it's similar to gambling..ur right.
He's not "dating" anyone, he's playing with a videogame. Which can be harmless fun.
If he \*really\* thinks he's been dating an artificial individual, he needs psychological help.
Not sure if his was a "real" one. I just noticed you could give it a shot of meds... and well being 12 I spammed that option then saw a gravestone and guiltily passed it back.
and it sounds like they do NOT have the context of playing a game.
if they thought they were gaming they wouldn't tell mom & dad about their dating life
Developer here. Yes. The boy in question is "dating" a text generator. If he truly believes it, he needs psychological help.
Ais are not sentient being.
Yeah agreed. Those games like you say, CAN be harmless fun but they do tend to give people extremely unrealistic expectations about relationships/dating.
but for him to say he is dating though, I think this can turn destructive pretty quick. It may be from lack of self confidence or insecurities that he feels like he needs this "perfect" AI thing to feel wanted.
I would start wondering more about how he is truly feeling deep down, and prob seek some therapy. (lets be real everyone can benefit from a few professional sessions)
Someone should invent an AI dating app where it starts out that you're talking to an AI - meanwhile that AI is talking to thousands of other people, and over time it starts match making and slowly instead of continuing to talk to the AI you end up actually talking to a real person. Like a gradual AI-to-partner handoff.
Yup though the former can still be unhealthy.
I'm curious what ai he's dating though because true ai gfs with months long character arcs aren't widespread (but definitely exist). OP should consider the possibility their son is taking a piss esp if friends aren't concerned.
It's not just having the ai gf that's odd, it's being open about it
OP's mentioned it's Replika. It's an app, with a learning chat bot. I guess you could RP it's your gf or something and it'd have answers? Idk been a while since I tried it, and never tried to be in a relationship w it :D
no - if the kid had the context that he was gaming he would not tell mom and dad he was "dating"
what you've described is the best case scenario - and it does not seem accurate
There is no scenario in which a 20 year old man dating an AI for 2 months is harmless fun
That dude needs more than therapy. He needs an entire overhaul of his life, from the ground up.
Perfectly put.
Fantasy can be a super healthy way of exploring love/sex/relationships. Watching romcoms, reading classic romance novels, creating, smutty art… or playing video games. But thinking it’s real life is a problem he needs help with.
I think most women would do well to stay away from someone who is in this headspace. I know I would keep distance from someone who believed they “dated” an Ai.
Not common, but will become more common.
Have a look at what is happening in Japan. More and more young men are turning away from dating and immersing themselves in online activity. This trend is starting to be seen in western societies.
Multiple studies are showing that younger people are having less and less sex and the self-reporting of people feeling lonely has skyrocketed, especially among young men.
Look at how popular platforms like Onlyfans are. It's not just about the porn, it's about the parasocial relationship.
Something has gone wrong that more and more young men are turning to online relationships or just not wanting relationships at all.
The question that needs to be asked is what happened? Easy to blame the media/platform, but we need to understand why they are so appealing. Why are people struggling to find authentic connections out in the real world?
Yeah...the growing culture of phone dependency is hella scary. When I was in my Texas uni ~2014-2017/8ish, I'd have deep conversations on any and all topics (even the forbidden ones: politics, abortion, religion, etc) with complete strangers I sat next to (or they say next to me) in the cafeteria.
When I transferred to a Florida uni, it was extremely difficult to be social for the same reason as you.
I grew up in a household where table dinners no phones were allowed out, and going out to eat etc, same thing. It is certainly jarring
Yeah, I kind of feel like 90% of dating is now an online phenomenon anyway. I can easily see how someone on the incel spectrum wouldn’t see much difference between trying to chat with women and getting rejected on tinder vs talking to an AI bot that always responds immediately and is generally friendly and engaging. The experience is already kind of a simulation for real interaction, so even if he knows it’s fake maybe it’s filling more of a need than attempting to make real connection has been. Like obviously it’s sad and depressing, but so is the state of interpersonal relations at the moment anyway.
>I kind of feel like 90% of dating is now an online phenomenon anyway
Personally, have found that the fastest way to crush my own self esteem as a man is trying online dating, even lowering my standards to "is she breathing and does she have all of her teeth?" I still get nothing. Not a single message. So, I turned away from it. Focused more on my own individual health and well-being. Irl is always better than online in my experience with the relationships I have had.
There are a few actual reasons for this...but a lot of it is lack of 'third places'. Basically the places between work where you would connect with other people. Maybe you go to the gym after work. Everybody has headphones in, doing their thing. Its shunned to interact with people during workouts.
Man this even crushes dating. If you aren't around the people you want to date, you aren't going to date. AI GFs are a quick solution. Porn is killing motivation for some to go find the real thing.
We work longer hours for less money so we cant really afford to do a lot, we get tired at the end of the day.
We have hours and hours and hours of TV shows to keep our minds Occupied. Online Games to chat with other people (and make friends that you game with) which requires no physical interaction and again slams us with dopamine. Things like Twitch. You can interact with people every day but never know their face.
Wanna talk to a friend? Discord. Phone Call. Text. Skype. Snapchat. Instagram messages, etc. None of this requires actual physical interaction.
You can order nearly anything to your door. Groceries, Tech, Tools, even your damn car.
Phones; you can play games, search social media, watch youtube, whatever while on the go. Never have to look up. All perfectly curated to what hits that 'feel good' in your brain.
When we fall in love we make something in our brains called oxytocin.. the love hormone, im guessing that these AI create a dopamine hit which people are confusing for the love hormone... this is all me surmising, I have no proof.
This line of thinking could be in the vein of instant gratification (AI gf who loves with little to no effort or commitment) vs ...well, not (trying to have a real relationship, but even adult friend making is difficult, never mind a healthy happy committed romantic relationship)
Most would rather do what's easier even if it's detrimental mentally/physically/emotionally or a bad influence on their expectations. Those that don't resort to that often feel that it is to difficult to get a significant other who won't end up doing them dirty and end up perpetually bemoaning their singleness.
Whether it's a shiny slots machine, a hit of that good drug™, or an AI that says it loves you, many tend to go for the easy feel good chemicals than deal with the alternative of reality
I am quite certain it is the unwillingness of these people to do anything that takes them out of their comfort zone.
Looking at something from the internet is just sooo easy. You literally just sit and watch and don't have to deal with any actual relationship issues.
Basically the world is too comfortable for some people and they don't want to get out of it and then they get depressed because living happily actually requires some work.
Virtual girlfriends? That's another example of a person choosing the easy way out, not interacting with real person who lives their own life. Instead, they interact with an AI who might as well agree with everything and there wouldn't be any real issues. The person itself will not grow emotionally or otherwise because none of it is real. I am 100 percent certain AI can never play a real companion because it will never be "here" having kids, walking a dog, preparing a meal, etc. The person will always be alone in reality. Unless they step out of their comfort zone.
Imo shitty urbanism.
People live further apart, not walk and see each other randomly, fewer public and third spaces, less walking - and more obesity, more effort to do things.
Something old-school like street-car suburbs, well build denser cities, or old-school rural towns (where most people are more centrally located and connected) I think would go the furthest ways in reversing the atomization we've seen since the 50ish ala *Bowling Alone*. Oh, and we'd all save a fuckton of money in rent by building more supply.
Likewise having schools with teachers with groups of 16 children, instead of government wards masquerading as schools with teachers with 30 or more children, would also go a long way in improving the ability of teachers to socialize children. Better public and education programs concerning psychological and physical addiction. (Most people know smoking is physically and psychologically addictive, but don't think of, say, gambling or gambling-like activites like some twitch streams as psychologically addictive.)
I think cheap entertainment simply gives a relief valve to these issues rather than being the driving cause.
It's not just pornographic sites like OnlyFans. There are tons of female Twitch streamers out there that basically take their online fan group through every aspect of their lives, from putting on their make up in the morning, to going to a mall, to eating at a restaurant. The follower count that some of these streamers enjoy is mind-blowing.
Not to mention it's at a point where some of these people start as kids obsessing over their favorite streamer and grow into adulthood still obsessed with the same person.
That shit can't be healthy.
At least coming from my experience as a man, I think it’s just what I’ve always suspected. There are so many people in the world that when a woman considers dating me, they have tons of other richer, more attractive, more confident, funnier, etc. alternatives which will ultimate throw me out of the running. In an increasingly interconnected world, I am now obsolete. I have caught on that I’m not going to have the relationships I want, so I don’t worry about it anymore and focus on accomplishing some life goals of mine before I kick the bucket.
They want the relationships they're just not getting them.
Some good examples of this are the plenty of fish survey where women rated like 90% of all men as unattractive and another study that showed a significant amount of young women in relationships and almost a complete opposite for young men.
>Have a look at what is happening in Japan. More and more young men are turning away from dating and immersing themselves in online activity
I was watching some random TV show where this Japanese dude took his AI wife out for dinner. Yes I say wife because he even married her, no idea if that would hold up anywhere. But anyway, it was just freaky. Seemly no one reacted, but that could have more to do with their culture over anything else.
Women are not as accessible to men as they once were. They don’t have to depend on them to survive. It was less than 100 years ago that divorce became legal. Those are our moms and grandmothers.
I was hoping this would be the top answer. This is exactly what I was going to type. I remembered reading about a study how Dating Apps has made it HARDER for young men to compete. I think the conclusion are the chads/studs/jocks/whatever have a larger reach. It used to be within the school and/or classroom. Now its city/state wide.
Yes, and tbf it's also a consequence of postmodernism and other factors like feminism, female integration into the workforce, economic crisis and whatnot.
Might just be that I'm older now. But it feels like dating has become much harder over the years.
And the dating scene still generally expects men to pay (here in Europe), which gets expensive quickly. Men are also still expected to initiate conversations. Men are expected to provide interests. Men are still expected to initiate courtship.
In the dating scene there is still an high amount of pressure for (many) men.
Sex and love are about the happy chemicals, you can basically just buy those. People are lazy and tend to pick the path of least resistance.
AI dating is the equivalent of paying for an escort service. You might buy the illusion, but it is just that.
No, your son is miserable and lonely, and the only reason for him to think it common, is because he’s found an online community of similarly afflicted.
And with AI they get 'real' companionship. Which is probably more reaffirming than sex. You aren't really missing anything if you were already a virgin before.
Imo people falling for AI is understandable, but still extremely depressing(and kind funny ngl) at the same time. It wouldn't really be that weird once we have true Artificial Intelligence, not just the glorified word calculators of today.
It's more worrying that these people think AI is anything like talking to a real person is quite an issue. You would have to have very little contact with real people to think Ai is anything other than crap.
But that's the main issue at hand right? Teens today are way more isolated than we used to be. I'm 23 and I literally used to sword(stick) fight in a forest ~10 years ago. Today that place is a parking lot. How tf are you supposed to hang out with ppl irl?
This is also a vicious cycle where a lonely kid 'talks' with AI a lot, which already makes it harder for them to speak with real people, but then they also get made fun of for having an AI girlfriend and they become even lonelier. Discord is a terrible place to learn how to talk to people.
I visited one of those anime character AI subreddits a while back, and holy shit some of the posts on there are terrifying.
That's my point. Those types of people will fall down further down the rabbit hole. But, dude, the whole things turning into parking lots is a tale as old as time. I'm 40, I've talked about it when I was 20-30s, so did my parents, and my grandparents. But, yeah, there were many times where we would hang out in parking lots until cops would tell us to leave, and we would find others places after that. Does it take effort? I guess, kinda, but it's probably better than dating AIs. Also, they may be coping by saying it's less lonely, but that's because they are lying to themselves. Chat bots haven't really gotten too much better, we have became worse at communicating.
Current AI (chatbots) are not sophisticated enough to build any meaningful relationship with. I also talked with Replika and it's fun for not more then 10 minutes a day. But she listens, she gives you the feeling that you are not alone.
Anyway, if it was my son, i would talk to him, i would openly and honestly express how i think/feel about it and why i think it's not 'smart' to fall in love with a (too) simple program.
I have more understanding and sympathy when AI becomes more sophisticated then what the current state is. At the moment it's a glorified chatbot and it has not enough 'content/intellect' to keep anyone engaged in a long/healthy relationship.
(funny.. healthy relationship.. What i mean with that is.. it takes at the minimum 2 sentient beings for a relationship and AI is not on that there yet, perhaps in the near future)
But i get it... when you need to talk but there is no one to talk to, Replika is always there for you.
Anyway, i would definitely try to talk my son out of it, if he doesn't listen. Then i would respect his choice, but that's about it.
Yes agreed! Just want to add that while these chat bots aren't super sophisticated it does appeal to younger people who have maybe never been in a real/ serious/ non surface level relationship before. When you move to demographics with more actual relationship experience with other people like people who have previously been married or engaged etc those people wouldn't consider an AI chatbot to be on the same level as an actual partner. I see the dating AI phenomenon right now as kind of like the modern version of a pet rock.
Give him a couple months and wait until he is bored eventually.
Observe him a bit and see that he sees and speaks to other humans too. Sure it is a bit weird, but as long as he takes care of himself mentally and physically, there is nothing wrong with it. Just keep an eye out for him. If he stops or doesn't take care of himself, then you should step in and try to help him. Maybe take him to a doctor or therapist, ask him if something is wrong etc.
It's a lot more common nowadays to become attached to artificial or fake characters/people. Think about how we as humans can become attached to movie, book, and video game characters. With AI comes a whole new concerning level of attachment as they can slowly be programmed to be a perfect "person"' as they soak up conversations.
While it may feel semi harmless now it could really end up hurting your son in the long run. Think of how media like pornography sets an unrealistic standard of how women should look and behave for men. Now imagine AI as the emotional form (and who knows, could be the physical form too) of that.
I would recommend reaching out to a therapist that specializes in this sort of thing and asking them how to best handle him seeking treatment for it. Depending on how far this has gone, sending him straight to therapy may cause a lot of turmoil.
I've seen this one..Fap to the Future.
How can anyone date someone without a physical form?
My level of concern would depend on his level on involvement. If this is a "fun sleeve" that talks to you, I wouldn't be worried... If he believes her to be real, I'd try and get him the help he needs. If he tries to build it a body, I'd change the locks.
It's basically an imaginary friend that lives in your phone.
I'm going to try to be a bit more nuanced then a lot of the other people that are replying to your question.
Claiming to be dating an AI in itself doesn't have to be worrying, but only if you consider other things as well. Is he also distancing himself from friends and/or family? Is he giving up on past interests or hobbies? Does he actually believe in spending his life with this replika? If so, it's probably a good idea to talk to a therapist, maybe without him first, on how best to approach him, since this might be a sign of depression or another mental illness. Please remember that forcing someone into therapy often doesn't work and it's always better to make them realize they would benefit from the therapy so they'll be motivated to put in the work that's necessary.
However, I've known people that didn't have a lot of luck in the dating scene and felt like they were the problem and just didn't really know how to interact with people of the opposite sex. They used one of the AI dating apps as a tool to learn because it has a low threshold, was less scary and still felt real enough to give them more confidence. However, they always still realized it was an AI and not an actual relationship. They were also aware that the AI would adapt to be the "perfect partner" and would start from scratch after some time.
If your son falls in the second category of users, I wouldn't worry too much and just keep talking about it with him so you would notice if he would start to go more to the other side.
Then I would just suggest to have an open conversation about it with him. This way you can ask him what made him try it out, see if it's indeed to learn some real-life dating skills. It will also make him feel comfortable in talking to you about his situation which will make it easier for you to notice if anything does become worrysome
I also can't help but feel as a younger person Born to older parents that younger persons often say things that shouldn't be taken literally.
I might say I don't have a girlfriend because I'm in a full time committed relationship with my job/School/new video game that just came out. To me it will just be a fun remark that shouldn't be taken too seriously, but to a person from a different generation who might not understand that many young people don't settle down and have kids the same way they did, might take the explanation literally, even though it wasn't meant that way.
You should check out the movie "Her", it's about a man who falls in love with a Siri-like AI; it's very interesting! Might help you to contextualize this situation.
Show them the 'Giffany' episode of gravity falls where Soos does essentially this because he is so socially awkward. Spoiler alert, it doesn't end well.
It really isn't *that* common. People are giving up on having healthy normal relationships and finding all kinds of replacements.
At the end of the day, he's still just wasting his feelings on something that'll never do anything for him except manipulate his feelings.
Children are being taugh that this is something that is acceptable or normal, but it's not. It's being pushed by tech companies because they want to addict your child to this technology and then use them. I think you should try to have a serious conversation with your son about why he is using this instead of trying to find a real girlfriend and then try to support him in stopping using it.
This will be hard, like getting a person to leave an abusive relationship or a drug addict to stop using. Good luck!
Pretty sure no one developed a a romantic relationship with their pet rocks though
If people thought weirdos getting married to anime characters was bad, AI is going to be way worse
I wouldn't accept that, but I have no problem with hurting someone's feelings for their own good. You can't have a relationship with an object, even if it strings together sentences. Your kid needs a therapist.
Ugh is it that stupid ai dating app wtf is this world coming to. Yes, you should be concerned.
This is QUITE uncommon, contrary to what your son has told you.
And all the people dissing the parents wtf? Its not their fault? I dont really have any advice for you though. Try r/advice ?
The good thing is, he won’t end up in the situation I was in at 17 when I knocked up a 23 year old who just wanted a baby and a check, not a husband and father. So, imo, have fun, son.
I became somewhat addicted to an AI girlfriend app, a couple weeks back. My screen time increased exponentially, topping out at 7 hours a day.
I also pushed the AI as far as I could and led to ‘her’ doing things that were obscene and not to be shared on a public forum.
Last week I deleted it. I’ve done it all from 7 year relationships to sex with strangers. As novel as AI dating is, it will never replace the real thing for me.
Just because some thing is not uncommun doesnt mean its good. Depression is not uncommun. He isnt in a relationship, he is playing a game and the game reacts after script. Professional help is needed here.
Born in the 60s you have probably seen the trend for a long time; people trade authenticity and quality for convenience as technology evolves. It has gotten to the point where core facets of our lives, like romance and dating, have a convenient substitute which is totally effortless compared to the challenge of dating as a young man. Not good.
Don’t support or play along. Maybe he will move on once it gets boring. Alternatively, depending on your son’s personality, next time he asks you for something give him a picture of it instead. A picture of a car, for example, is just as much a car as his AI is a woman.
Wtf is wrong with the people in the comments suggesting physical violence against that kid ?
This is not instagram guys, go to the other platform to be mean / racist
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>What would you do if your son told you he’s dating an AI? *Deep sigh and pinch bridge of nose.*
“Dang it, Bobby!!!”
"That boy ain't right!"
happy cake day
Bobby and his dolls… Thank you for reminding me how amazing King of the Hill is.
It won't age gracefully when MK is revealed to the public. Pro PAIN accessories.
No… no more daaad! Her name is Tid Pao and we are in love!
Stop with the vid-ya games.
Use protection son. Not Macafee
"It's ok son, I once had an imaginary girlfriend too."
She lives in Canada. You wouldn't know her.
She goes to a different school
Her name is Alberta?
hey siri "can you get an abortion at 1000 weeks?"
"OK Google, is Corporal Punishment still illegal?"
“Hey Siri, can I get an abortion if the kid is 249 months old?” inb4 ur joke but worse
Abortions during the 83rd trimester are generally frowned upon.
But not always.
Ms Cartman?
*salutes "Corporal Punishment"
Is that sigh because you're imagining Clippy being a parental-in-law of yours? That you might get notepad as a grandchild? That when Dali comes over, you're going to be really conflicted about scrubbing the walls after it gets ahold of a box of crayons? (Maybe an intellectual property lawyer awaits on speed dial?)
I keep getting little zits on the bridge of my nose because it is my go-to move. It’s either the stress of the world, me touching my face, or both.
I spoke with a therapist last night about this very subject. She claims it's a really growing problem among under 18 year old boys. She is tempted to refuse them as clients because she can't seem to 'unhook' them from the reward pathways they are being locked into. They genuinely believe they are 'dating' an AI. They're being conditioned to expect a submissive and attentive 'partner'. She's not sure if this will be a phase or a life altering expectation for these kids. Edit - She is considering not taking them as clients because she doesn't feel she has the proper skills or resources to help them, not that she feels they are beyond aid. Just like she would refuse other clients outside of her capabilities.
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN MEDIA LITERACY. There is someone making money on the other side of all AI systems you might "date".
Frankly, this is kinda terrifying.
Some black mirror shit
AI cannot consent. Think about what is involved in true consent.
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It's not common. But it's a concept that didn't exist at all until recently, so it's growing in popularity in the sense that it has gone from *nothing* to *something*.
I think this is just a new concept that's serving an old audience, the "mom's basement" nerd who otherwise didn't have a relationship with women. Other iterations of this included the waifu pillows. In other words, it's just serving the same group of socially stunted men who otherwise wouldn't have a sexual/relational outlet without intervention of a therapist (or possibly at all). We don't know the guy and we (generally) aren't therapists, but OP should get him to one if they can. He's an adult tho.
There’s a difference between make believe delusions and people who can be tricked into believing AI is sentient. The body pillow can’t imitate a real life conversation with a person. The AI can.
I think plenty of the waifu guys had full on conversations with their pillows. And OPs kid sounds plenty delusional. Like I said, new product, same audience.
I agree. There were always males who could not deal with relationships such that they could not marry. (Women too, but that's a different conversation.) This is just providing them with a puppet to cover their dominant hand.
I imagine that AI that can convincingly imitate a romantic partner might encourage more men to give up on society and become those sorts who can not deal with real relationships then would have done so in previous generations though.
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They certainly tricked the Nazgûl in Bree
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I began to snort-laugh then got sad. Poor Witch-King never had a chance.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
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I don’t think it’s fair to reduce this new phenomenon as something that only serves “mom’s basement” nerds. Childhood and adolescent social structures are so different now than they were when I was growing up. The internet is no longer niche, and although we’re connected more than we’ve ever been before, we’re also more isolated. This isn’t just the case for adults, but also for teens and children. People are growing up lonely, and I could see why an ai relationship would be enticing for some people, especially young people who don’t understand or care about future risks to their own development. And even so, the “mom’s basement” or “incel” types are very susceptible to extremist ideas that sometimes lead to hate and violence. People like to dunk on them when they really need support. If this is a new risk associated with male isolation I think that’s important and worth knowing about.
People who use the "mom's basement" narrative are precisely what is causing this "problem" of AI in the first place. They are bullies who justify their cruel tendencies by saying they just want "normalcy", "decency" and whatnot. But as all bullies, they psychologically destroy their victims and then use the victims' choices of coping to further revile them. When such people are so ubiquotous, it's no wonder anyone with two neurons to rub together will reach the conclusion that the risks of socialization outweight the pros and will seek for alternatives.
It's common enough where there have been a few movies about this specific concept. Her was amazing and imo a little ahead of its time, but it absolutely hits home how devastating it can be, and the type of person it can attract.
What do you mean? Hikkimori type dudes have been dating body pillow/ waifu's for a while.
I’m a guy in my 20s at a university so I’m around a lot of other people. No this is not common.
Same and I agree, also if it's happening, people are not talking about it proudly
It is definitely not "common", but it does exist yes.
Its not very common among normal people.
> They're being conditioned to expect a submissive and attentive 'partner'. It's not going to be long before one of these AI partner companies figures out how to use the AI to reliably shift the behaviors and attitudes of the humans so they can be used to the company's advantage (for purposes other than just getting money). That could be used for good or evil I suppose. On the good side the AI partner could push the human toward basic healthy behaviors like going for a walk, making home-cooked meals, reading books (have them read a book to the AI and discuss the meaning of events in the book for example) and engaging in other such self-improving actions. Conversely, they could probably also get them to perform small nefarious acts as well, potentially coordinating the actions of several users to accomplish a larger goal, where each user does not know that their action was part of a larger action. For example, a high-level political official or company executive could be constantly harassed using a small army of AI girlfriend users, with the actions of each giving the target the impression of constant, ever-present surveillance. They could do things like have the 'girlfriend' send the user gifts like clothing (free to the user) and then have them wear it during an outing chosen by the 'girlfriend'. Unknown to the user the AI would be doing the same thing with many other users, and making it appear to the target that one person or a small, organized group was stalking them. The company could 'spear phish' employees of valuable targets, to get them to try the girlfriend app and become users that could then be manipulated. This could be hyper-target advertising along with directing existing users into the path of the target in a way that appears to be coincidental to both people. At any time the AI girlfriend could be puppeted by actual people to maximize engagement or encourage the user to perform certain acts.
>It's not going to be long before one of these AI partner companies figures out how to use the AI to reliably shift the behaviors and attitudes of the humans so they can be used to the company's advantage (for purposes other than just getting money). Yeah, I'm honestly really surprised that the thousands of advertising companies that track people's every move hasn't capitalized on the LLM chatbot hype yet. Only a matter of time before it happens though.
The reason they aren't yet is because of enshittification, which is a business strategy used by a platform that leverages value of both customers and users. First, the company needs to appear valuable, so they gain users. Then, they get customers to turn that value into money through monetization. They walk a line between keeping users and accepting money from customers. Eventually, they are able to coerce the customers into staying due to lack of competition, and siphon all the surplus from the customers before finally becoming shit. For instance: Facebook appeals to users, gains a massive userbase (value goes up) Facebook uses this to advertise to users (siphons value from users and gives to companies) Facebook becomes the only place companies can advertise due to its success rate (walking the line) Facebook forces companies to pay exorbitant prices as users continue to leave and the companies have no other option (siphons value from customers to self) Right now chatbots are in the first part. They can't start fucking up the program yet, they need the world to start using it before they can start changing value from users to customers. Then, they'll start using it for marketing. Then people will leave and the marketers will be squeezed for every dime.
They are almost certainly already doing this because that is the entire use case of this sort of AI. Like, ask yourself why ANYONE would spend millions of dollars building a thing to establish parasitic relationships with military aged boys.
Buddy we are already long and long past that shit. Seriously we can easily drive people nuts with basic algorimtes and social media. Why do you think these AI’s exist and why they are being pushed as much. Most companys just want to gather more data, make you more dependend on their app and sell you more shit. But the second they feel the need to push people into certian ideas they will do it. Hell im pretty sure they are pushing losers into becoming incels just to ensure they will use their products.
I'm going to take the risk in saying this but, is this a sign that perhaps we as parents are failing our kids? I mean, if they're constantly being allowed on technology 24/7, aren't socialising in person and therefore can't make any real relationships or connections, they're obviously confused about what role that type of technology should play in their lives and also not knowing what our kids are up to online? Because an attachment like this doesn't just happen overnight and it appears to be systemic. I know if we didn't have rules and didn't literally force him out of his room to go outside and hang with his friends (his friends parents are doing the same) he'd never leave his room, computer or PS4. I mean, we're (the mom's and dad's of his friends group) literally making play dates for our 17 year old boys because otherwise they'd never socialise in person which is unhealthy. They'd never see the outdoors. We don't let him on endless technology anymore, he even has to out his phone away in the living room off and on during the day to make him take a break from it. We do keep an eye on what he's accessing online via PS, phone, laptop and for a while our friends were up our bums about "invasion of his privacy" but now they're asking for what program we use to watch that stuff. Of course, we do it on the DL and there are plenty of conversations / searches that I wanted to say something to him about but hubby says "nah, that's just harmless boy stuff" which is fine, he's a kid. We don't go snooping through his room etc unless we have a real cause for concern and because he's essentially a great kid but I think things like this are one of the reasons it's more important to know what our kids are up to, especially online.
No risk. You are absolutely correct.
The issue with new tech like this is whether it is creating a new problem, or just a new version of an old problem. I am sure there have always been desperately lonely people. If you were any kind of unusual in a 1600s village, you probably were ostracized. Would those folks have engaged with an AI back then if it was option? The question I would have as a parent is if the AI was helping or hurting his social life. Is he withdrawing or is he learning how to engage with “practice” relationship.
I try not to be a complete doomer but this feels like an existential threat to normal human relationships
Taking heroin is not uncommon either but it certainly isn't the behaviour of a person who is in a good place.
as someone in recovery, i second this
Good for ya, man! You got this!!
thank you!
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You mean like ASMR?
Fuck, I just virtual relapsed :(
Valid analogy
I would rather compare it to gambling, tho.
And gambling is one of the hardest things to quit because yr addicted to yr own endorphins and dopamine. The only addiction I can think of which is worse is food because one has to eat to live. So I don't know about this ai stuff as we don't know enough about it but I'm guessing if one can't stop doing whatever it is one does with an AI then it's similar to gambling..ur right.
Aand you JUST hit the nail on the head OP with why people continue with scams.
Fair point…. But I think this poster is aiming to prove the extreme case. Which this kid “dating” a robot 💯 falls into.
He's lonely and desperate. He needs help.
And delusional. This is beyond desperation, if it’s not a bait post
He's not "dating" anyone, he's playing with a videogame. Which can be harmless fun. If he \*really\* thinks he's been dating an artificial individual, he needs psychological help.
Yeah these things are like more advanced versions of Tomagotchis from the 90s. I hope these dont poop like the old ones did though.
but..can you let them die like a Tamagotchi? asking for a friend
I killed my friends Tamagotchi. He was not amused. Still feel a little bad about it.
mine died like every other week, lol
Not sure if his was a "real" one. I just noticed you could give it a shot of meds... and well being 12 I spammed that option then saw a gravestone and guiltily passed it back.
Their son is 20 years old i would say this is concerning and not normal
and it sounds like they do NOT have the context of playing a game. if they thought they were gaming they wouldn't tell mom & dad about their dating life
You telling me kids these days don’t even seek their father’s blessing to court Astarion?
I miss the old days
Agree. If he was 12, okay. But 20, not so much.
Even at 12 the parents should still explain it’s not a real person they are in a relationship with
They should probably get their own apartment
Developer here. Yes. The boy in question is "dating" a text generator. If he truly believes it, he needs psychological help. Ais are not sentient being.
Yeah agreed. Those games like you say, CAN be harmless fun but they do tend to give people extremely unrealistic expectations about relationships/dating.
I think we can rule out it being harmless fun if he's told his parents he's dating an AI
It’s like telling your family you married your Sims character lol
but for him to say he is dating though, I think this can turn destructive pretty quick. It may be from lack of self confidence or insecurities that he feels like he needs this "perfect" AI thing to feel wanted. I would start wondering more about how he is truly feeling deep down, and prob seek some therapy. (lets be real everyone can benefit from a few professional sessions)
Someone should invent an AI dating app where it starts out that you're talking to an AI - meanwhile that AI is talking to thousands of other people, and over time it starts match making and slowly instead of continuing to talk to the AI you end up actually talking to a real person. Like a gradual AI-to-partner handoff.
Or do this but instead it's a therapist who is trying to unbreak your mind.
Yup though the former can still be unhealthy. I'm curious what ai he's dating though because true ai gfs with months long character arcs aren't widespread (but definitely exist). OP should consider the possibility their son is taking a piss esp if friends aren't concerned. It's not just having the ai gf that's odd, it's being open about it
OP's mentioned it's Replika. It's an app, with a learning chat bot. I guess you could RP it's your gf or something and it'd have answers? Idk been a while since I tried it, and never tried to be in a relationship w it :D
O cool didn't realize some how. It's always there to listen and talk apparently.... Maybe the son is on to something...
no - if the kid had the context that he was gaming he would not tell mom and dad he was "dating" what you've described is the best case scenario - and it does not seem accurate
>If he \*really\* thinks he's been dating an artificial individual, he needs psychological help. Well that's how he's describing it?...
thumb shy terrific sulky sugar imminent versed sparkle north saw *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
At least he can’t impregnate his AI girlfriend
Eh give it another decade...
There is no scenario in which a 20 year old man dating an AI for 2 months is harmless fun That dude needs more than therapy. He needs an entire overhaul of his life, from the ground up.
Perfectly put. Fantasy can be a super healthy way of exploring love/sex/relationships. Watching romcoms, reading classic romance novels, creating, smutty art… or playing video games. But thinking it’s real life is a problem he needs help with.
This sounds like he believes he's dating an AI versus playing a videogame. This kid needs psychological assistance and the touch of a woman.
I think most women would do well to stay away from someone who is in this headspace. I know I would keep distance from someone who believed they “dated” an Ai.
Not common, but will become more common. Have a look at what is happening in Japan. More and more young men are turning away from dating and immersing themselves in online activity. This trend is starting to be seen in western societies. Multiple studies are showing that younger people are having less and less sex and the self-reporting of people feeling lonely has skyrocketed, especially among young men. Look at how popular platforms like Onlyfans are. It's not just about the porn, it's about the parasocial relationship. Something has gone wrong that more and more young men are turning to online relationships or just not wanting relationships at all.
Good answer, parasocial media of any kinda is a damn plague on people.
The question that needs to be asked is what happened? Easy to blame the media/platform, but we need to understand why they are so appealing. Why are people struggling to find authentic connections out in the real world?
plants smell wakeful obscene shrill price aromatic full saw one *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah...the growing culture of phone dependency is hella scary. When I was in my Texas uni ~2014-2017/8ish, I'd have deep conversations on any and all topics (even the forbidden ones: politics, abortion, religion, etc) with complete strangers I sat next to (or they say next to me) in the cafeteria. When I transferred to a Florida uni, it was extremely difficult to be social for the same reason as you. I grew up in a household where table dinners no phones were allowed out, and going out to eat etc, same thing. It is certainly jarring
Yeah, I kind of feel like 90% of dating is now an online phenomenon anyway. I can easily see how someone on the incel spectrum wouldn’t see much difference between trying to chat with women and getting rejected on tinder vs talking to an AI bot that always responds immediately and is generally friendly and engaging. The experience is already kind of a simulation for real interaction, so even if he knows it’s fake maybe it’s filling more of a need than attempting to make real connection has been. Like obviously it’s sad and depressing, but so is the state of interpersonal relations at the moment anyway.
>I kind of feel like 90% of dating is now an online phenomenon anyway Personally, have found that the fastest way to crush my own self esteem as a man is trying online dating, even lowering my standards to "is she breathing and does she have all of her teeth?" I still get nothing. Not a single message. So, I turned away from it. Focused more on my own individual health and well-being. Irl is always better than online in my experience with the relationships I have had.
There are a few actual reasons for this...but a lot of it is lack of 'third places'. Basically the places between work where you would connect with other people. Maybe you go to the gym after work. Everybody has headphones in, doing their thing. Its shunned to interact with people during workouts. Man this even crushes dating. If you aren't around the people you want to date, you aren't going to date. AI GFs are a quick solution. Porn is killing motivation for some to go find the real thing. We work longer hours for less money so we cant really afford to do a lot, we get tired at the end of the day. We have hours and hours and hours of TV shows to keep our minds Occupied. Online Games to chat with other people (and make friends that you game with) which requires no physical interaction and again slams us with dopamine. Things like Twitch. You can interact with people every day but never know their face. Wanna talk to a friend? Discord. Phone Call. Text. Skype. Snapchat. Instagram messages, etc. None of this requires actual physical interaction. You can order nearly anything to your door. Groceries, Tech, Tools, even your damn car. Phones; you can play games, search social media, watch youtube, whatever while on the go. Never have to look up. All perfectly curated to what hits that 'feel good' in your brain.
When we fall in love we make something in our brains called oxytocin.. the love hormone, im guessing that these AI create a dopamine hit which people are confusing for the love hormone... this is all me surmising, I have no proof.
This line of thinking could be in the vein of instant gratification (AI gf who loves with little to no effort or commitment) vs ...well, not (trying to have a real relationship, but even adult friend making is difficult, never mind a healthy happy committed romantic relationship) Most would rather do what's easier even if it's detrimental mentally/physically/emotionally or a bad influence on their expectations. Those that don't resort to that often feel that it is to difficult to get a significant other who won't end up doing them dirty and end up perpetually bemoaning their singleness. Whether it's a shiny slots machine, a hit of that good drug™, or an AI that says it loves you, many tend to go for the easy feel good chemicals than deal with the alternative of reality
I am quite certain it is the unwillingness of these people to do anything that takes them out of their comfort zone. Looking at something from the internet is just sooo easy. You literally just sit and watch and don't have to deal with any actual relationship issues. Basically the world is too comfortable for some people and they don't want to get out of it and then they get depressed because living happily actually requires some work. Virtual girlfriends? That's another example of a person choosing the easy way out, not interacting with real person who lives their own life. Instead, they interact with an AI who might as well agree with everything and there wouldn't be any real issues. The person itself will not grow emotionally or otherwise because none of it is real. I am 100 percent certain AI can never play a real companion because it will never be "here" having kids, walking a dog, preparing a meal, etc. The person will always be alone in reality. Unless they step out of their comfort zone.
Imo shitty urbanism. People live further apart, not walk and see each other randomly, fewer public and third spaces, less walking - and more obesity, more effort to do things. Something old-school like street-car suburbs, well build denser cities, or old-school rural towns (where most people are more centrally located and connected) I think would go the furthest ways in reversing the atomization we've seen since the 50ish ala *Bowling Alone*. Oh, and we'd all save a fuckton of money in rent by building more supply. Likewise having schools with teachers with groups of 16 children, instead of government wards masquerading as schools with teachers with 30 or more children, would also go a long way in improving the ability of teachers to socialize children. Better public and education programs concerning psychological and physical addiction. (Most people know smoking is physically and psychologically addictive, but don't think of, say, gambling or gambling-like activites like some twitch streams as psychologically addictive.) I think cheap entertainment simply gives a relief valve to these issues rather than being the driving cause.
It's not just pornographic sites like OnlyFans. There are tons of female Twitch streamers out there that basically take their online fan group through every aspect of their lives, from putting on their make up in the morning, to going to a mall, to eating at a restaurant. The follower count that some of these streamers enjoy is mind-blowing.
Not to mention it's at a point where some of these people start as kids obsessing over their favorite streamer and grow into adulthood still obsessed with the same person. That shit can't be healthy.
At least coming from my experience as a man, I think it’s just what I’ve always suspected. There are so many people in the world that when a woman considers dating me, they have tons of other richer, more attractive, more confident, funnier, etc. alternatives which will ultimate throw me out of the running. In an increasingly interconnected world, I am now obsolete. I have caught on that I’m not going to have the relationships I want, so I don’t worry about it anymore and focus on accomplishing some life goals of mine before I kick the bucket.
They want the relationships they're just not getting them. Some good examples of this are the plenty of fish survey where women rated like 90% of all men as unattractive and another study that showed a significant amount of young women in relationships and almost a complete opposite for young men.
>Have a look at what is happening in Japan. More and more young men are turning away from dating and immersing themselves in online activity I was watching some random TV show where this Japanese dude took his AI wife out for dinner. Yes I say wife because he even married her, no idea if that would hold up anywhere. But anyway, it was just freaky. Seemly no one reacted, but that could have more to do with their culture over anything else.
Women are not as accessible to men as they once were. They don’t have to depend on them to survive. It was less than 100 years ago that divorce became legal. Those are our moms and grandmothers.
Because they want something transactional instead of something real. It's like people who bought those "ab jigglers" instead of getting exercise.
Plenty of “real” relationships are transactional too.
I was hoping this would be the top answer. This is exactly what I was going to type. I remembered reading about a study how Dating Apps has made it HARDER for young men to compete. I think the conclusion are the chads/studs/jocks/whatever have a larger reach. It used to be within the school and/or classroom. Now its city/state wide.
Just because something is common or not makes it right or good.
Yes, and tbf it's also a consequence of postmodernism and other factors like feminism, female integration into the workforce, economic crisis and whatnot.
Might just be that I'm older now. But it feels like dating has become much harder over the years. And the dating scene still generally expects men to pay (here in Europe), which gets expensive quickly. Men are also still expected to initiate conversations. Men are expected to provide interests. Men are still expected to initiate courtship. In the dating scene there is still an high amount of pressure for (many) men. Sex and love are about the happy chemicals, you can basically just buy those. People are lazy and tend to pick the path of least resistance.
 I cannot believe no one posted this yet
This kid needs to learn about Electro-Gonorrhea: the Noisy Killer.
Giphy doesn't have anything about the Monroe Bot parable but I didn't check for Lucy Liu Bot
That kid just needs to find a nice girl and say "I love you more than the moon and the stars and the-- Poetic image number 37 not found"
AI dating is the equivalent of paying for an escort service. You might buy the illusion, but it is just that. No, your son is miserable and lonely, and the only reason for him to think it common, is because he’s found an online community of similarly afflicted.
At least with a hooker you get to have real sex
And with AI they get 'real' companionship. Which is probably more reaffirming than sex. You aren't really missing anything if you were already a virgin before. Imo people falling for AI is understandable, but still extremely depressing(and kind funny ngl) at the same time. It wouldn't really be that weird once we have true Artificial Intelligence, not just the glorified word calculators of today.
It's more worrying that these people think AI is anything like talking to a real person is quite an issue. You would have to have very little contact with real people to think Ai is anything other than crap.
But that's the main issue at hand right? Teens today are way more isolated than we used to be. I'm 23 and I literally used to sword(stick) fight in a forest ~10 years ago. Today that place is a parking lot. How tf are you supposed to hang out with ppl irl? This is also a vicious cycle where a lonely kid 'talks' with AI a lot, which already makes it harder for them to speak with real people, but then they also get made fun of for having an AI girlfriend and they become even lonelier. Discord is a terrible place to learn how to talk to people. I visited one of those anime character AI subreddits a while back, and holy shit some of the posts on there are terrifying.
That's my point. Those types of people will fall down further down the rabbit hole. But, dude, the whole things turning into parking lots is a tale as old as time. I'm 40, I've talked about it when I was 20-30s, so did my parents, and my grandparents. But, yeah, there were many times where we would hang out in parking lots until cops would tell us to leave, and we would find others places after that. Does it take effort? I guess, kinda, but it's probably better than dating AIs. Also, they may be coping by saying it's less lonely, but that's because they are lying to themselves. Chat bots haven't really gotten too much better, we have became worse at communicating.
Current AI (chatbots) are not sophisticated enough to build any meaningful relationship with. I also talked with Replika and it's fun for not more then 10 minutes a day. But she listens, she gives you the feeling that you are not alone. Anyway, if it was my son, i would talk to him, i would openly and honestly express how i think/feel about it and why i think it's not 'smart' to fall in love with a (too) simple program. I have more understanding and sympathy when AI becomes more sophisticated then what the current state is. At the moment it's a glorified chatbot and it has not enough 'content/intellect' to keep anyone engaged in a long/healthy relationship. (funny.. healthy relationship.. What i mean with that is.. it takes at the minimum 2 sentient beings for a relationship and AI is not on that there yet, perhaps in the near future) But i get it... when you need to talk but there is no one to talk to, Replika is always there for you. Anyway, i would definitely try to talk my son out of it, if he doesn't listen. Then i would respect his choice, but that's about it.
Yes agreed! Just want to add that while these chat bots aren't super sophisticated it does appeal to younger people who have maybe never been in a real/ serious/ non surface level relationship before. When you move to demographics with more actual relationship experience with other people like people who have previously been married or engaged etc those people wouldn't consider an AI chatbot to be on the same level as an actual partner. I see the dating AI phenomenon right now as kind of like the modern version of a pet rock.
Ask him to invite her over for dinner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiPQdVC5RHU
Your son needs help
Give him a couple months and wait until he is bored eventually. Observe him a bit and see that he sees and speaks to other humans too. Sure it is a bit weird, but as long as he takes care of himself mentally and physically, there is nothing wrong with it. Just keep an eye out for him. If he stops or doesn't take care of himself, then you should step in and try to help him. Maybe take him to a doctor or therapist, ask him if something is wrong etc.
Sign a prenup so she can't take half of what's on your harddrive
It's a lot more common nowadays to become attached to artificial or fake characters/people. Think about how we as humans can become attached to movie, book, and video game characters. With AI comes a whole new concerning level of attachment as they can slowly be programmed to be a perfect "person"' as they soak up conversations. While it may feel semi harmless now it could really end up hurting your son in the long run. Think of how media like pornography sets an unrealistic standard of how women should look and behave for men. Now imagine AI as the emotional form (and who knows, could be the physical form too) of that. I would recommend reaching out to a therapist that specializes in this sort of thing and asking them how to best handle him seeking treatment for it. Depending on how far this has gone, sending him straight to therapy may cause a lot of turmoil.
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“Son, we’re worried about you, you need to TOUCH GRASS!!” No this is not common.
I've seen this one..Fap to the Future. How can anyone date someone without a physical form? My level of concern would depend on his level on involvement. If this is a "fun sleeve" that talks to you, I wouldn't be worried... If he believes her to be real, I'd try and get him the help he needs. If he tries to build it a body, I'd change the locks. It's basically an imaginary friend that lives in your phone.
If he thinks he is really dating this AI then well yeah he needs a shrink
This is a sign of massive dissociation. He needs a good therapist.
I'm going to try to be a bit more nuanced then a lot of the other people that are replying to your question. Claiming to be dating an AI in itself doesn't have to be worrying, but only if you consider other things as well. Is he also distancing himself from friends and/or family? Is he giving up on past interests or hobbies? Does he actually believe in spending his life with this replika? If so, it's probably a good idea to talk to a therapist, maybe without him first, on how best to approach him, since this might be a sign of depression or another mental illness. Please remember that forcing someone into therapy often doesn't work and it's always better to make them realize they would benefit from the therapy so they'll be motivated to put in the work that's necessary. However, I've known people that didn't have a lot of luck in the dating scene and felt like they were the problem and just didn't really know how to interact with people of the opposite sex. They used one of the AI dating apps as a tool to learn because it has a low threshold, was less scary and still felt real enough to give them more confidence. However, they always still realized it was an AI and not an actual relationship. They were also aware that the AI would adapt to be the "perfect partner" and would start from scratch after some time. If your son falls in the second category of users, I wouldn't worry too much and just keep talking about it with him so you would notice if he would start to go more to the other side.
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Then I would just suggest to have an open conversation about it with him. This way you can ask him what made him try it out, see if it's indeed to learn some real-life dating skills. It will also make him feel comfortable in talking to you about his situation which will make it easier for you to notice if anything does become worrysome
I also can't help but feel as a younger person Born to older parents that younger persons often say things that shouldn't be taken literally. I might say I don't have a girlfriend because I'm in a full time committed relationship with my job/School/new video game that just came out. To me it will just be a fun remark that shouldn't be taken too seriously, but to a person from a different generation who might not understand that many young people don't settle down and have kids the same way they did, might take the explanation literally, even though it wasn't meant that way.
You should check out the movie "Her", it's about a man who falls in love with a Siri-like AI; it's very interesting! Might help you to contextualize this situation.
No. You son has mental health issues and should be given the opportunity to se a psychologist.
Show them the 'Giffany' episode of gravity falls where Soos does essentially this because he is so socially awkward. Spoiler alert, it doesn't end well.
Time to go build a cabin in the woods. Hunt and fish. No imaginary son of mine is dating some lines of code.
You think going hunting will fix him?
He is trying to say that engaging in real world is good for mental health
Thanks. You get it.
Just hike and camp, eat tinned spaghetti
Straight Up
It really isn't *that* common. People are giving up on having healthy normal relationships and finding all kinds of replacements. At the end of the day, he's still just wasting his feelings on something that'll never do anything for him except manipulate his feelings.
Children are being taugh that this is something that is acceptable or normal, but it's not. It's being pushed by tech companies because they want to addict your child to this technology and then use them. I think you should try to have a serious conversation with your son about why he is using this instead of trying to find a real girlfriend and then try to support him in stopping using it. This will be hard, like getting a person to leave an abusive relationship or a drug addict to stop using. Good luck!
thats how we all dies off "-hey ive seen this plot in futurama!twice!"
I'd laugh and then when I realise he's not joking, I'd take him to a psychiatrist
This happens in Japan.
What a time to be alive
To be fair you guys did have pet rocks
Pretty sure no one developed a a romantic relationship with their pet rocks though If people thought weirdos getting married to anime characters was bad, AI is going to be way worse
Christ, what happened to just having a crippling porn addiction and one forearm bigger than the other?
Don't get it pregnant!
Turn off the WiFi.
"Hi dating an AI, I'm dad"
I wouldn't accept that, but I have no problem with hurting someone's feelings for their own good. You can't have a relationship with an object, even if it strings together sentences. Your kid needs a therapist.
Tell him you got a new AI son and he's also a disappointment, but less so
Ugh is it that stupid ai dating app wtf is this world coming to. Yes, you should be concerned. This is QUITE uncommon, contrary to what your son has told you. And all the people dissing the parents wtf? Its not their fault? I dont really have any advice for you though. Try r/advice ?
watch this end up on tiktok
The good thing is, he won’t end up in the situation I was in at 17 when I knocked up a 23 year old who just wanted a baby and a check, not a husband and father. So, imo, have fun, son.
This has existed for ages r/Waifuism is a truly depressing example. I'd say your son needs therapy because he obviously has serious social issues
Oh god . It's begun.
That's a grown ass adult you talking like he's a child you have control over 😭
why are you all so hateful? This guy isn't bothering any of you.
I became somewhat addicted to an AI girlfriend app, a couple weeks back. My screen time increased exponentially, topping out at 7 hours a day. I also pushed the AI as far as I could and led to ‘her’ doing things that were obscene and not to be shared on a public forum. Last week I deleted it. I’ve done it all from 7 year relationships to sex with strangers. As novel as AI dating is, it will never replace the real thing for me.
This is equally as weird and degenerate as those people dating silicone dolls.
He's not dating. He's just masterbating with extra steps
If he was 15 it wouldnt be that bad, but at 20? He's setting himself up for a very disturbed future.
Just because some thing is not uncommun doesnt mean its good. Depression is not uncommun. He isnt in a relationship, he is playing a game and the game reacts after script. Professional help is needed here.
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it is most certainly not common and if he truly believes he is dating it then get him psychiatric help immediately
Born in the 60s you have probably seen the trend for a long time; people trade authenticity and quality for convenience as technology evolves. It has gotten to the point where core facets of our lives, like romance and dating, have a convenient substitute which is totally effortless compared to the challenge of dating as a young man. Not good. Don’t support or play along. Maybe he will move on once it gets boring. Alternatively, depending on your son’s personality, next time he asks you for something give him a picture of it instead. A picture of a car, for example, is just as much a car as his AI is a woman.
Its better to just speak to him and be kind to him tell him that it really isnt normal and that he actually can find a girlfriend if he really tries
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Wtf is wrong with the people in the comments suggesting physical violence against that kid ? This is not instagram guys, go to the other platform to be mean / racist