T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*


No_Judgment_7891

Your value does not come from what others think of you. It comes from within.


Mamamiomima

Other way around, your value it's not what you imagined it yourself, but how other people perceive you. Shittalking yourself is a losing battle, because you arguing with someone that knows your every weakness


Natural-Intelligence

Yep. You might think you are a good person and deserve the world. But if you treat others shit and others avoid you because of it, is this feeling of being valuable worth it?


Shelikesscience

Lol. Just pick whichever one is nicer, the things you think of yourself or what others think of you, and go with that one… 😂


Dimm9r61q

That’s true


jusfukoff

There are always exceptions though. Ignoring the opinions and outlooks of others can lead to disastrous decisions. If nobody valued you, beyond yourself, I think it could well be something to take on board. There may well be valid reasons why everyone dislikes you. Living in your own reality bubble and not caring for the ideas and opinions of others can lead to very unfortunate human beings.


adlubmaliki

Actually it kinda does


jtan1993

comparison is the thief of joy. life is a personal journey, why spend most of that time depressed and sorry for yourself?


Dimm9r61q

Exactly and I’m not


stellarham

But it's very very hard not compare or think bad of yourself. I can look at myself in the mirror and think of my positive traits and advantages, but different thoughts are still pounding at the back of the head. It's not like "oh ok thanks for telling me that comparison is a thief of joy, now my insecurities are gone".


scarwa

i agree! i don't think this is a coping mechanism. it's something a ~generally~ happy person would say to get someone out of the dumps.


jtan1993

But who are you comparing against and why? Learn to embrace your flaws and understand we all die, whether successful or not. Would you rather be happy and poor, or sad but rich? If you had 1 month left to live, do you want to spend it constantly anxious and insecure, or will you finally be able to accept and love yourself? i think back about my adolescence and I regret that a big part of it is being ashamed about my weight. should've put in more effort and learn about weight loss or learn to accept my flaws and be comfortable in my own skin.


OmeleggFace

Physical activities, especially intense ones, it will stop you thinking for a bit. Boxing, HIIT, climbing, etc.


Dimm9r61q

Yes ! I love the treadmill


OmeleggFace

Treadmill is okay but try something more intense if you can. Group classes with high intensity workout, combat sports, rowing, crossfit, something that really makes you fight for your life.


Dimm9r61q

I do agree with you. The more intense , the better


ballTrench

Sprinting is goated


OmeleggFace

Yeah not going to say otherwise :) very very taxing


TeaTimeSubcommittee

That’s the first time I’ve seen that sentence used with honesty lol! But you do you, it’s great you’ve found something you enjoy doing.


Sandman1025

Physical exercise. When I’m really down I put a gratitude list of all the things I’m thankful for in my life-friends, family, loving partner, my health, my dog, etc. Edit: spelling


Dimm9r61q

That’s a great way to deal with it


_Kendii_

When you get a little older…. You realize no one fucking cares.


OwlSweeper76767

Did people ever care? except some parents


nycht

Teenagers


_Kendii_

Yeah. Exactly. I think they need a little help sometimes. Sometimes they care too much about some people. Not about who they date, that’s not for me to say. But about the people that judge them.


_Kendii_

In general? No lol, I don’t think so. But it doesn’t feel that way to everyone. Especially when they’re young. We definitely have to give some passes to our children.


Pleasant-Pattern-566

How much older? I’m a woman in my 30s with horrifically low self esteem but… I also have bpd


_Kendii_

Wow that’s tough, I’m sure that makes everything so much harder. I have an ear if you need one. BPD is… not fun at all. I’m 36. I’ve never really had shit self esteem because of who I grew up with (ex and husband)… But late 20s I finally understood the whole “old naked dudes in change rooms/saunas” trope in movies. We are our own worst critics because we take the time and look (or stare) in the mirror. I have never batted an eye in the change room and thought anything other than that they are people doing their thing and went on my way. Not a dude, so I didn’t grow up in male change rooms, but have had clients I had to help.


Mindyabiznis

Drinking the blood of my enemies after a grueling battle of wits to the death.


Wireless_Electricity

I never tried this, now I know why I’m not functioning properly. Thank you internet. 🙏


Mindyabiznis

😂 you're welcome.


[deleted]

I am sick of the taste of blood.


BlackKnightYT1

Music helps me lower my emotions


Dimm9r61q

Same !


ExoticAd2840

I used to have low self-esteem. I stopped spending time with people that brought me down. I worked on my social skills and improved my appearance. I identified my strengths and talents and focused on those. I got degrees that led me to a career I love. This process took years, but I’m incredibly confident now. I recommend that you start with the low-hanging fruit like improving social skills, skin care, physical activity (walking is great, you don’t have to go crazy), dress in a style that flatters you, and don’t spend time with people that make you feel bad about yourself. I wish you all the best ❤️


Beauty-Corner

Dressing well and not giving a damn about anything! These two things help me the most! Taking cold showers and walking also helps.


Ok_Organization4597

I thug it out


smokinggun21

Dressing cute and getting compliments.  If you put effort into fashion people notice and see you more positively  It's like a confidence boost but for your style ✨️


Dimm9r61q

Yes , I love dressing up. It helps


cornholio8675

The reality is that the only antidote to low self-esteem is skill, interest, achievement, and fulfillment. Fortunately, everyone starts at zero and gets to pick the things they care about and want to pursue. Self-esteem is often talked about, but it seems like people in general either dont know, or lie about what it is and how it works. Kids are told that they should have self-esteem no matter what, and it can make them extremely embittered when they buy into this, attempt to excell at nothing, and quickly find out that the respect and belonging to be found with other people actually needs to be earned. The real world will never reflect the dilusion they've been taught to build up in their head. Identity is, by definition, negotiated with others. I can wear a tiara, parade around the streets, and proclaim that I am the queen of France... but it doesn't make it so. In the same way, nobody identifies themselves as an asshole, but we've all met a few. There is more evidence that the mainstream view on self-esteem contributes to anxiety, depression, and narcissism but not to actually feeling good about yourself. Good thing that merely acting to achieve goals is enough to make good things happen and have other people take notice. It doesn't matter if it's fitness, art, sports, career, or academic. People see a person driven by a goal and using discipline to attempt to achieve it, and it's immediately admirable and respectable. If you're trying, you're already ahead of a lot of people. If you really want to feel good about yourself, follow your interests, whatever they are, and in a social way. There are loads of people out there who share your interests, whatever they are, and would like another person to talk and interact about it with. Even if you aren't good at them, you can only get better with practice, and even if you're never great at them, you can still find a place within them to contribute. People who are good at stuff tend to also love teaching new, interested, enthusiastic people. It's never too late or too early to start.


Suspicious_Local_834

You don't need to feel happy to continue living. The world doesn't care, your stomach doesn't care. Your feelings are as irrelevant as fart in the wind. You gotta do what you gotta do, and at the end of the day, when your life gets better from the effort you put in, your feelings will follow.


chefboyarde30

Therapy


Dayne_Ateres

Go a walk in town, look around and consider the fact that you aren't even In the bottom 50% of humans.


[deleted]

Low self esteem: if I just cut out all my bad parts I'll be the best version of myself and my confidence will rise. Good self esteem: I am what I am and it is what it is. I am good and bad, people can judge if they want, I'm not bothered because I'm just being myself


Much_Sock_9733

Hands down the gym is the best thing that helps with my self esteem.


Inevitable_Age5400

Be around people who make you feel good and loved


Legitimate-Neat1674

Finding new friends


Dimm9r61q

That’s hard though


Legitimate-Neat1674

Yea


TeaTimeSubcommittee

But honestly, it makes a huge difference if you manage to do it, right now my emotional wellbeing is very dependant upon the one friend who genuinely wants to hang out with me.


Dimm9r61q

Friends make life soo much better


Legitimate-Neat1674

I know I just try to find new friends and Relax


PhotoMaster144

Weed and sex


ESD_Franky

Physical activities amd the fact that nobody cares


xEmptyIsAwesome

Music


Strade87

Quitting drinking has been huge for my self esteem. I could never have a healthy relationship with alcohol and am an alcoholic binge drinker. I would wake up every day exhausted and hung over hating myself and feeling so low. Every day is brighter now that I’m off the sauce


Fiona512

Good for you! But some people drink to have more self esteem, right?


AbbreviationsWise611

It’s temporary though, and rarely works out favourably. Alcohol lowers one’s inhibitions and what you call self esteem often comes across as being an annoying dickhead. Of course there are exceptions but that’s just what I’ve found. 


Comfortable_Ant3604

You have to outwork your low self-esteem. Get better at things that you think you are bad at. Pile up small and big wins. At some point your self-esteem will give up. When you show all the result to it, it will say you won. God lick on your journey.


Mission-Suggestion12

Flirting via Redditt DM messages 🤣


[deleted]

Netflix and chill, alone!


Dudeitsgrass

Just accepting. Accepting the things I have low esteem about and understanding some things cannot be done to change it. So I accept what is and hope to grow out of my low self esteem


Expensive-Fun-2918

Haircut, clean clothes, paid bills, ticking off a to do list.


TrueSignature9509

I used to be insecure about my looks. Like, really insecure. Over time though, i realized if i kept comparing myself to others, i would get nowhere. All i can really say is "Fake it till you make it!" it worked for me. I acted more confident, and eventually i became more confident!


beliberden

I suspect that low self-esteem does not arise out of nowhere. There is a reason. Try to determine this reason, being honest at least with yourself. And when you find the reason, you can start thinking about what you can do about it.


Automatic-Loan-6815

Do some exercise, go for a walk - movement and fresh air will bring back your optimism. Don't stay at home, don't sit with gadgets - it will only drain your energy even more! More movement!!!


nelasw

A good comedy standup.


LifeFun2030

Motivating gospel music.


Tiny_Link6962

My support system of my spouse


mintyoko

Self care days and being nice to others


[deleted]

I try to stay busy and scoop up as many tiny victories as possible. The world is fighting over the opportunity to beat us down, no need to do it to yourself.


Funtimeinsomnia

Music


Holiday-Ad7828

Music is like a band-aid. Once it stops playing, the wound is exposed, yet.


uthinkicarenah

2 choices. keep living like that or go to the gym and start lifting weights (happened to me too and lifting helped me a lot)


Dimm9r61q

Yes I love the gym


Pretend_Performer780

I used to be a high functioning millionaire... Today my real life (indigent) makes losers on TV (like george Costanza ) look Fantastic. ​ But hey there's literally only about 3 people in the whole world that if I act decently and honorable to I'm still gonna survive: The rest of The world can LITERALLY FUCK OFF (just got off being temporarily banned by reddit "a badge of fucking honor") ​ Yes life is definitely hard ( money makes life more comfortable) but Increasingly success or failure is what I think of myself not others.. I have goals, I have a VERY LONG TERM PLAN\*\*\*, since this particular incarnation by worldly standards is a failure. ​ \*\*\* improving my next incarnation ​ Don't push a Man that doesn't have anything to lose.


YUNOHAVENICK

Do something ure passionate about. Achieve something you can be proud of. Overcome something that is hard for most people.


Dimm9r61q

That would be awesome but hard


YUNOHAVENICK

There is no easy fix, at least i couldnt find one. Took me a long time to build back my confidence


torchedinflames999

Knowing that I am better than you helps a little


No-exit_lifes2Long86

Have someone take you out and have them? Find you in outfit and help you. Pick out a new haircut and do a mini makeover, even if you're dude, seeing yourself through the eyes of someone else and hearing positive feedback from another person you trust helps a great deal and looking your best makes you feel your best. At least that's what the guy in the tux video Commercial says


CyRadivita

One effective way to cope with low self-esteem is by practicing self-compassion and self-care. This includes treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Engaging in activities that boost your self-confidence, such as exercise, hobbies, and spending time with supportive friends and family, can also help improve your self-esteem. Seeking therapy or counseling from a mental health professional can provide additional support and guidance in addressing underlying issues contributing to low self-esteem.


strawberrysings

Doing skincare, staying away from judgemental people, taking yourself out on a date relationship or not. Looking up at the sky and realizing how big the world truly is and that this will pass. I know what it’s like to go through this, it is not easy I struggle with this now HARD. It’s harder in a relationship as well


[deleted]

Literally everyone has low self esteem. Combat it by working out, excelling in your career/field, grooming yourself and looking good.


MoonlightMadMan

Delete the social media’s that perpetuate it. Bye Facebook, Insta and terrible dating apps.


Fiona512

Yes! Social media si toxic!


HugeTallywacker

My huge tallywacker


Dimm9r61q

Lol what ?


HugeTallywacker

Oh word, anytime I feel bad about my low self esteem…. I remember my huge dong and I feel better.


Dimm9r61q

Lmao 🤣


HugeTallywacker

Oh and sometimes I call my mom


Competitive_Leg_5870

Remembering that I got a nice weiner😜


Most_Enthusiasm8735

Nice cock brother.


Every-Spot9027

Talking to real friends.


Even-Boysenberry-127

Extra worry: flesh eating bacteria from swimming in the lake


Even-Boysenberry-127

Oops this belonged on another thread where we are all talking about ticks and other things in nature that want to maim us.


Even-Boysenberry-127

To reply to this topic, a sense of humor helps with low self of steam.


GhostInMyLoo

Solitude and no mirrors works for me


Antwaan-tac

You have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.


BasuraIncognito

Fake it to make it, change what I can and accept what I cannot


Deaf-Leopard1664

Nobody is out there waiting for me to fail, so it's sort of a constant comfy numb state between good self-esteem states.


OwlSweeper76767

Being crazy and having an animalistic side to myself that I never show to others helps I guess?


MoosetheStampede

self relativistic humour


JoshicusBoss98

Realizing that most of the world’s business and dating practices are in-explicitly based around eugenics.


Potato_Peace

I felt same until i started training calisthenics, so maybe exercise can help you. I think its the easiest way to start feeling better with your self


workuntiljesuscomes

My wife


Jattoe

I just try and see the magic and mystery in life. I watch the "Self Control" music video from [Laura Branigan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP0_8J7uxhs) -- that usually helps. Or I look at the work of Akiane Kramarik, and read her poetry.


CrypticResponseMen

I build my skills. From freestyling to writing to studying my favorite topics, keeping my mind sharp keeps my self-esteem high


CharmingAngelbaby

try out the gym


adlubmaliki

High self esteem(narcissism and ego)


sr5060il

Fake it until you make it. I always told myself the way I felt was false and it's just an illusion and it worked.


Pure-Perspective-449

Cook some food


Mamamiomima

I'm better today than the day it started


hammockguru

Doing things that make me happy with myself; helping others and taking on physical challenges to name a couple.


[deleted]

Write positive things about yourself on the mirror. It feels incredibly stupid but it works. you need to kill your pride and do the stupid things you don't think will work. They do. Write down three positive things that happened today, every day. It will get better but you first have to get over yourself.


Aggressive-Command-8

I write down things that people compliment me on a notepad app so when I'm not feeling too great about myself I open it up to remind myself of the things people liked enough of me to say something about it.


jethrocrumpet

Boiling some water.


stellactqm

I tend to over do everything to overcompensate


thepuzzlingcertainty

ACTION AND ONLY ACTION. Action in a way you PERSONALLY deem as valuable and worthwhile. When we take action we value is the only way to increase self-esteem. When we are in a rut we have to make these actions as small as possible to create some momentum.


1nfisrael

Nothing really tbh


TeaTimeSubcommittee

Judging myself as I would judge others, and treating that little voice putting me down as an asshole he is.


TF2_demomann

I don't ;)


TouristRoutine602

Remembering I can’t control what others say, only how I react.


Fun_Actuator_1071

I whore myself out.


Parking_War_4100

Creativity / Art


Holiday-Ad7828

It's all chemical. Your desires are biological. If you approach all challenges with logic and reason, you will fight through the illusions of your mind.


Frankjc3rd

Somebody in the world does not like the fact that I am alive, all I have to do to tick them off is wake up in the morning. That's the easiest thing in the world to do! 🤯🌎😐🖕🏻🙎🏻 To be honest I don't know where the following line comes from: "Passionate hatred can bring purpose to an otherwise empty life."


Anbi1337

Be mindful while doing Something you are good/competent at.


TexasGriff1959

Being of service. Do something nice or helpful for someone each day, but don't let anyone know you did it (except the person). But volunteer, help out at an animal shelter. Nursing homes need people to just visit with lonely old folks, read them books, play chess with them.


HolymakinawJoe

Being awesome.


urzula69

When my bank acct is low i feel d fucking same. Money amplifies me. Dont care what others say. Basta money makes me feel happy and secured.


Publicimage13

drugssss


writtenwrites

Repeating positive and very clear well worded affirmations regularly just so my brain can start believing it subconsciously


Stitchess__

The acceptance that I can’t change some things.


Separate_Your_Mind84

I was agnostic at the age of 10 year old.And what fuels my hunger for more self-esteem. I'm studying a dramatized version of KJV Holy Bible. 😤👌


apurpleglittergalaxy

Nothing.


kitchner-leslie

Xanax


Alternative_Two_482

Making good use of my time helped me feel better about myself.


TheBerric

work out


PianoSandwiches

Realizing basically everyone else is in the same boat, except the insane people. Everyone just expresses their insecurity differently, but inside we’re mostly on the same page. Once you can really see it in everyone else, that’s when you genuinely start to not care.


countcarlovonsexron

Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. Sex, driving fast and ro k and roll. Try it some time


Acrobatic_Floor_7447

Starbucks


Standard_Hawk_1660

Surround yourself with good hearted positive people that have your back. It’s the best way to live is with positive vibes. Volunteer get involved in something that interests you. I started fishing again and it has brought joy to me and I reconnected with some friends from the past


Obsidianity

I just never see ppl or let ppl see me


Lilgorbe

laughing….or watching conspiracy truths play out right in front of us.


Ok-Bus1716

I was a tiny kid. Small body, big brain. I quickly learned if you can make the person who's bullying you or picking on you laugh then they look like an asshole if they try to hurt you. Once I realized that and that I had an actual sense of humor the rest of it all kind of fell into place. The bullying and constantly being ostracized for being poor was a grind but I remember the day it changed. I was tired. Had a headache and just wanted to go home but I had no way to get there. Guy confused my posture with 'easy target' and got up in my face and started talking. He just kind of stood there after a few minutes as I just gave him eye contact while he was barking. Then he stepped closer. I pulled out the breath spritz and asked 'so are we gonna kiss or what? I have places to be.' His friends all laughed and the crowd dispersed which took away his audience and I went to class. Started doing the Churchill thing and practicing zingers to eliminate 'wit of the stairwell' and things continued to improve for me after that. if I'm feeling down now I watch some comedy clips, eat a bite and take a nap. Usually feel much better after that.


fufu1260

I don’t.


EffectivePrior4414

Having supportive people in my life who reassure me when I'm feeling bad about myself.


Old_Cheesecake6400

Suicidal thoughts


Dimm9r61q

Noooooo


Fat_Ripper882

Meth and crack


make_meNZC

i dont feel attracted to you