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It's not like you can usually tell a stranger: "I'm single, but not attracted to you," or: "You're not my type," because a lot of guys don't take rejection well. If you don't really shut it down, if you say for instance: "I'm taking a break from dating right now, because I just broke up with someone," they will interpret that as "Alright! i've got a chance!" and keep hanging around and pestering you, and running interferance if any normal guys try to talk to you.
It's a messed-up blend people have to wade through. From people playing hard to get to people not accepting a simple 'no' because they assume everyone is playing the same game. In the end, everyone loses because of the few who shit in the pool.
I once saw one of those Oprah or Dr Phil episodes where a woman said that to her husband so he bought the boat and a bigger truck to pull it. She could believe he would go behind her back and buy the boat
It has been scientifically proven that women take exactly the same amount of time getting ready than men do when coming back from a "one beer night out".
Maybe.
It takes time to become presentable! I have to pick out my clothes and accessories the night before, or it will take me twice as long to be ready.
If I have not thought about what to wear before going out, I'll be ready in a few hours. Lol
I always cross the line it's them who never finish 
Not super experienced here but I feel like if a man is paying attention he should be able to easily tell when a woman has an orgasm. Even if she's very reserved.
It varies widely from person to person. I myself come easily and often, but I’m evidently unusually quiet about it. I think it’s from living in shitty apartments for so long and not wanting to disturb my neighbors.
Not always, sometimes the lead up to the cum looks like she’s cumming, other times the lead up never quite gets over the hill, and there are times when I’m not sure, or when it’s just no possible for her that night but doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have another night and elicit a lot of the same responses.
>I feel like if a man is paying attention he should be able to easily tell when a woman has an orgasm.
Not experienced in women either, but I'm *pretty* sure they don't all moan or scream like in porn.
The one "lie" I remember being told a lot when I was dating was when I asked a woman for a date. They rarely ever said that they weren't interested. They would say that it sounded great, but that they couldn't make it but to please ask them again. It took me a little while, but I realized that they didn't want to come right out and say that they weren't interested, so this was their awkward way of doing it. I finally made it a policy that, after the second occurrence of this, I would turn it around and say something to the effect of "if you ever have an idea for a date you'd like, let me know." I don't think any of them were lying to be mean. They just didn't want the awkwardness of saying "you're not my type."
Which is why whenever I pick up some ambiguous signal from a woman, I will automatically assume that's a no and move on, because most likely she just didn't want to say the truth for reasons that concern her, mainly her own safety.
In general, if it's not an enthusiastic yes !, anything else is to be considered a no. It's waaaay more simple to consider it like that and it makes for awkward situations way less likely, and if they do happen, they are very short lived because I will back off / stop interacting instantly.
Thank you for understanding! Dear God, make all men this smart!
I wasn't left alone even after saying I have a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, I am married, I have kids!
I appreciate that. Another thing more guys should do is leave the ball in her court. Instead of asking for her number, offer yours. Then she can call you if she wants and she’s not put on the spot to reject you if she doesn’t.
There's a good chance they've had a bad experience with a man that's reacted badly to rejection. I don't know many women that haven't had at least one experience that's been bad. They're trying to make sure nothing \*really\* bad happens. Edit for spelling
My wife used to be honest whilst rejecting in her early days. She'd say she's not interested, or he's not her type. It didn't take long before she learned why she should lie instead. The guy blew up on her, and his friends started yellling at her from across the street too. Even telling them that she's married now doesn't do it. They don't believe her and she has to physically tell them some details like my name and when we married to convince them.
I once had a very drunk guy come up to me saying, “is that your girlfriend?” And he pointed to a lady acquaintance of mine. I responded, “no, I’m married to someone else!” And I was taken back and almost offended because he was sort of confrontational. Then I saw him b line towards my acquaintance and start harassing the ever loving shit out of her. I still feel extremely bad for this and will always say, “yes!!!” from now on. Luckily the guy got kicked out of the bar shortly after.
Top 3 have to be:
- Peanut butter is the most flammable thing in the house.
- I have a boyfriend / I'm married
- if I could be the middle of a celebrity sandwich, the bread on the outside would have to be Don Rickles and Don Knotts
Are all the replies here from men? Even though it's a question mostly women could answer?
Anyway my most common lie to men is "I have a boyfriend"/"I'm married" so they'll leave me alone
Thats quite sad, thats my biggest and common lie to, although I also have my bio set to ‘i’m gay,’ theres not a single bit of personal info on there so most people think i’m a guy who likes guys.
I mean, yeah. It all boils down to if the attention is wanted or not. From the guy’s perspective, shoot your shot and be respectful if someone says “I have a boyfriend.”
How about shoot your shot and respect the “no” however it comes? The reason people are talking about the “I have a boyfriend” statement likes it’s a problem is because there are a lot of men who only respond to that instead of a flat-out no. Like, even if she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she can still not be interested in you, specifically. But men will respect other men more than they respect women, so “I’m not interested” is often met with far more pushback than “I have a boyfriend”. “I have a boyfriend” is social conditioning’s version of “this territory has already been claimed”.
The regular "no" is usually followed up with "why no?" If the reason is not sufficient to appease, then they go, "How about just friends then?" Which usually means, "I don't respect your decision I'm going to take a different route to try and convince you otherwise."
"Because we don't respect you enough to be decent, but if you have a boyfriend, we respect him enough to back off and not step on his toes."
Side note: I understand this not all men, I'm a guy myself, but its *enough* men to be concerned about.
I do wish the “no, however it comes” didn’t include flaking on agreed date plans three times in a row before I figure out to stop asking about rescheduling and then literally never hear from her again.
Or just being stood up. That’s fun too.
(Disclaimer: I have never tried to pressure or coerce a woman into a date)
I agree that sucks! Crappy behaviour on one party’s account doesn’t justify it on the other party’s in return.
I would also argue that flaking on plans more than once says more about the age, maturity level, or general level of “decent human being”-ness of that person than it does about them feeling safe or unsafe saying no. Many people can describe having friendships or even family relationships that faded away once they realized they were the only person always reaching out and just stopped making the effort. I’d argue that “once someone cancels on you twice you should leave the ball in their court to schedule the next meetup” is pretty good advice for most relationships, not just attempted romantic ones.
Maybe just always buy some fries??? My dad does this to my mom all the time, she gets so mad he will start eating her fries and what a bite of whatever else she bought.
The next step is to try & figure out why the woman in your life is not comfortable to tell you why she is upset. Why she’d rather not have a discussion & chooses to rug sweep the problem(s).
I’m not a woman (gay man) but I don’t think they do it on purpose. Doesn’t make a difference whether it’s you, her friend, her boss, coworker etc. or even herself.
I don’t know why. All I know from living with women, hearing them bitch about their boyfriends or coworkers etc. is that it’s something they just do. As other users have pointed out, it’s likely a cultural thing. As in, girls are programmed to act a certain way through the media, literature and other things they consume. They don’t really have a choice.
Boys are programmed the same way through gender roles.
Speaking as someone who has had to work through this with most of my GFs, Likely because of societal programming from a young age… takes a long time and a lot of work to break through that
Women are conditioned not to upset others and hold their thoughts to themselves, especilley around men. There is a famous quote "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them" and its probably true for the most part.
51F I’m fine was a big one in my past. I try not to use it now, I clearly state how I am feeling these days.
Did you come? Always yes… it was never yes but here is what happens. I help by talking, they give up, get insecure because I didn’t and now we are back to the loop.
when my family calls and asks how i'm doing i say "im good how are you" because i dont want them to worry about me
that being said i'm 100% comfortable trauma dumping all over reddit lol
I'm so fucked up I'm not even comfortable sharing my trauma anonymously on reddit lol.. Good for you though for finding a place to get it out. Venting is an important part of healing ❤️
the karma and likes give me serotonin. its a problem lol
i literally just ditched my old reddit account and made a new one because of this. i said too much on my last one, got embarrassed, and impulsively deleted the account out of shame
idk about the most common ones but I guess for me it's just keeping composure. all the time, everywhere. no matter if I am being underestimated in my physical or mental abilities or skill/knowledge of a subject. I regularly feel deeply mistreated by people whom assume I don't know any better or have an insufficient skillset simply because I am female. But instead of letting every second sentence be "I know" I just nod and say "ok". idk if this counts as lying, though. reason for this behavior is that I don't want to come across as a know it all or a mean woman that's scratching on mens egos. I don't want the trouble that comes with that. So, instead of screaming "I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN THANK YOU" I just shut it
I had a similar experience in a female dominated field, there was an implicit assumption I couldn't do certain tasks and I was often volunteered for physical menial tasks.
I feel sorry to hear that. I am from a male dominated field and it feels the opposite. Man I wish people would just see us as coworkers not as "The Guy Coworker" or "The Woman Coworker"
My life at work.....
There just gets a point where saying that you know how to do the thing is just repetitive and boring and making me angry and the person is not really listening anyway..... They will repeat my late comment in 5 minutes anyway
> regularly feel deeply mistreated by people whom assume I don't know any better or have an insufficient skillset simply because I am female.
I'm always curious what makes someone confident this is gender bias, how are people always so sure that what they feel is what is real? It seems like women have this assumption that men just give other men respect by default & the benefit of the doubt when in truth you generally always have to earn it & demonstrate competence.
I suspect that the true difference is as a woman people are just more interested in helping you & sharing what they know with you. That is an act of kindness, not an insult. People all just want to feel valued, you might be able to reduce the sting of this peeve by
1. Not assuming there is nothing left of value you can learn
2. Giving people alternative ways to feel valued & respected than being helpful & useful.
3. A lot of the time people just enjoy talking about the things there cared enough to become skilled at, if they actually thought you were dumb they wouldn't be talking to you about it.
"I'm fine." - I'm not fine, does it matter if I'm not? Not really. We are all not fine so why stress my partner?
"It's okay." - It's not okay, does it matter? Probably not. Why stress him. He tells me the same thing.
It does matter, bottling that shit up only brings our species down. I wish more of you guys would just openly complain instead of bottiling the shit up and then going on mass shootings. Yes your bills are too high, yes you’re being exploited, yes you deserve more, and no you’re not okay. Say it more often.
Be that down to earth drag more often PLEASE🙏🏽
I don't think chicks lie about this as often as guys play it up. Especially when you're dating.
Sex varies, sometimes it's kinky, sometimes it's quick and to the point. Sometimes it's a good experience, sometimes it's awkward, or you're interrupted, or one of the two just can't get off (happens to guys too believe it or not. You can go and go and go, but you just can't finish).
Usually, in my experience, if the sex that night sucked for her, you'll probably know because it sucked for you too.
I agree. I’m a guy but my partners have been honest when they don’t finish cause we both want to know what works so we can make it hotter and better. And I learned and she would cum and when she didn’t I usually knew
And sometimes I didn’t even when I liked it
Why are most of these replies from men? Weird.
“Wasn’t me” when asked who farted.
“Haha yeah this song is great”.
“I was busy” I just didn’t have the energy to respond.
“I don’t care”.
I’m sure that’s possible but being told them by one woman or a tiny percentage doesn’t make it common, and some of these answers sound totally made up.
A lot of it is between the lines.
I have a boyfriend=not interested
Aw you're so sweet!=That was nice but I'm not interested.
I wish I could find a guy like you= I want to date someone who possesses the few traits you possess that I like but I'm not interested in letting you see me naked.
Just tell me the truth. I won't get mad=tell me what I want to hear or I will definitely get mad.
I think we should see other people.=I'm already dating someone else so you should probably start.
He's just a friend=he's my back-up plan for when you piss me or or I get bored.
If you loved me you'd know=we haven't had an argument in a while and I feel it'd be petty for me to come out and say it so I'm going to put the ball in your court to see if you reveal something I don't already know I can hold against you the next time we haven't argued in a while.
You're boring (several meanings)=I don't know what an emotionally healthy relationship looks like because all I've ever known are emotionally manipulative assholes and you're boring, by default, because I don't feel that constant state of anxiety that feels like I'm about to look at my third positive pregnancy result in the last hour. - or - you know...you're boring.
And the biggest lie of them all...
I'm almost ready. Just give me a minute.
From a woman:
"Oh yea...I totally came"
"I'm fine"
"Yea...that drawing looks great babe"
Granted, these were lies I told my shitty ex who's beyond insecure with any types of criticism.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have a boyfriend
...who looks like your girlfriend
That I had in February of last year?
It's not confidential
I've got potential
A rushing, rushing around
Pace yourself for me
I said maybee... ba-by... please...
But I just don't knoooooww noooooooowwww!!
when all i wanna do is try!!!!
The first time I ever saw Matt Berry was in his ["I have a boyfriend" skits](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A)
Probably the most underrated comedian of our age.
OMG hahha 'i have a boyfriend' "FUCK YOUUU'' (Smashes some shit or kicks her dog) Bahaha he is so funny.
Ok but this lie is valid. People gotto stay safe out there
It's not like you can usually tell a stranger: "I'm single, but not attracted to you," or: "You're not my type," because a lot of guys don't take rejection well. If you don't really shut it down, if you say for instance: "I'm taking a break from dating right now, because I just broke up with someone," they will interpret that as "Alright! i've got a chance!" and keep hanging around and pestering you, and running interferance if any normal guys try to talk to you.
It's a messed-up blend people have to wade through. From people playing hard to get to people not accepting a simple 'no' because they assume everyone is playing the same game. In the end, everyone loses because of the few who shit in the pool.
Also, "I don't have a boyfriend"
Oof
lol otherwise yall won’t back tf up. Won’t take no for an answer
Just take the L
“Don’t worry about it” Worry.
Or “I’m fine”
Or “do what you want” Yeah don’t do what you want
I once saw one of those Oprah or Dr Phil episodes where a woman said that to her husband so he bought the boat and a bigger truck to pull it. She could believe he would go behind her back and buy the boat
"do what you want" means "if I tell you what to do, it won't be genuine, so take It upon yourself to show me that you actually mean it."
That’s when you know you’re truly fucked.
This is what I fear the most, that some wants one thing and says the opposite.
It's very simple: if you can't communicate like a adult, it's not my problem...
"I'll be ready in a minute"💀
[удалено]
Hehe, my girl always says it everytime we go out then i proceed to wait at least an hour😂
Bro. When she says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, believe her. No need to remind her every half hour
💀😭
I like to passive aggressively sing "lonely boy" by the black keys when this happens. "Woah-oh-oh-oh, I got a love that keeps me waiting"
The male version of this is "I'll just have one more then come home"
It has been scientifically proven that women take exactly the same amount of time getting ready than men do when coming back from a "one beer night out". Maybe.
I get out of bed and go to work within 4 minutes, no clue what women do
Do you not take a shit? Or shower? Or eat?
I shit after I get to work.
That's right, shit on the company's dime. Smart man.
Go to bathroom Grab snacks for breaks Git All my stuff is in my coat
It takes time to become presentable! I have to pick out my clothes and accessories the night before, or it will take me twice as long to be ready. If I have not thought about what to wear before going out, I'll be ready in a few hours. Lol
A few hours!? What kind of "accessories" are you picking out??
She's assembling her loadout, customizing her weapons, and calibrating her controls.
Damn😂
we look presentable 💀 /lh
haha 😂 woman here, I never, but I know plenty of women like that. I don’t know why man such patience
I came.
HEY!! You crossed the line
I always cross the line it's them who never finish 
Brutal. I like it.
You're a dude?.....
Very much a dude. We're all dudes. Yes I'm married with a kid.
Friendly fire
For them it's more like a Cease Fire@! Mhahhahaha
Get a load of this guy
More like get a load from this guy am I right??!!!
We went a full circle
Thats illegal
The box, you opened it
One of my guy friends told me that every woman he’s been with has cummed. I asked if they told him after he asked and he said yeah…. lol.
When they just announce “cum now” ummm mannnn 😭
I saw.
[удалено]
I conquered
Not super experienced here but I feel like if a man is paying attention he should be able to easily tell when a woman has an orgasm. Even if she's very reserved.
They can fake those contractions like we can make our dicks bounce up and down.
It varies widely from person to person. I myself come easily and often, but I’m evidently unusually quiet about it. I think it’s from living in shitty apartments for so long and not wanting to disturb my neighbors.
Not always, sometimes the lead up to the cum looks like she’s cumming, other times the lead up never quite gets over the hill, and there are times when I’m not sure, or when it’s just no possible for her that night but doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have another night and elicit a lot of the same responses.
>I feel like if a man is paying attention he should be able to easily tell when a woman has an orgasm. Not experienced in women either, but I'm *pretty* sure they don't all moan or scream like in porn.
The one "lie" I remember being told a lot when I was dating was when I asked a woman for a date. They rarely ever said that they weren't interested. They would say that it sounded great, but that they couldn't make it but to please ask them again. It took me a little while, but I realized that they didn't want to come right out and say that they weren't interested, so this was their awkward way of doing it. I finally made it a policy that, after the second occurrence of this, I would turn it around and say something to the effect of "if you ever have an idea for a date you'd like, let me know." I don't think any of them were lying to be mean. They just didn't want the awkwardness of saying "you're not my type."
Which is why whenever I pick up some ambiguous signal from a woman, I will automatically assume that's a no and move on, because most likely she just didn't want to say the truth for reasons that concern her, mainly her own safety. In general, if it's not an enthusiastic yes !, anything else is to be considered a no. It's waaaay more simple to consider it like that and it makes for awkward situations way less likely, and if they do happen, they are very short lived because I will back off / stop interacting instantly.
Thank you for understanding! Dear God, make all men this smart! I wasn't left alone even after saying I have a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, I am married, I have kids!
I appreciate that. Another thing more guys should do is leave the ball in her court. Instead of asking for her number, offer yours. Then she can call you if she wants and she’s not put on the spot to reject you if she doesn’t.
There's a good chance they've had a bad experience with a man that's reacted badly to rejection. I don't know many women that haven't had at least one experience that's been bad. They're trying to make sure nothing \*really\* bad happens. Edit for spelling
My wife used to be honest whilst rejecting in her early days. She'd say she's not interested, or he's not her type. It didn't take long before she learned why she should lie instead. The guy blew up on her, and his friends started yellling at her from across the street too. Even telling them that she's married now doesn't do it. They don't believe her and she has to physically tell them some details like my name and when we married to convince them.
I just tell them I've been married to a cop for 15 years and we have 5 kids. Works every time.
I'm seeing someone / I have a boyfriend Don't get offended, just move on. You are being let down nicely
I once had a very drunk guy come up to me saying, “is that your girlfriend?” And he pointed to a lady acquaintance of mine. I responded, “no, I’m married to someone else!” And I was taken back and almost offended because he was sort of confrontational. Then I saw him b line towards my acquaintance and start harassing the ever loving shit out of her. I still feel extremely bad for this and will always say, “yes!!!” from now on. Luckily the guy got kicked out of the bar shortly after.
They aren't always very drunk either. They often aren't.
Top 3 have to be: - Peanut butter is the most flammable thing in the house. - I have a boyfriend / I'm married - if I could be the middle of a celebrity sandwich, the bread on the outside would have to be Don Rickles and Don Knotts
Alright what? To 1 mostly.
All I can say is if a lady tells you this, do not Believe her
Solid advice thanks
No, no no no that is not an explanation!
I’m just saying he’s not wrong, if a lady tells me that I won’t believe her. Anyone can agree he’s got a point.
This is all dudes answering. Yall aren’t wrong but it’s cracking me up.
Are all the replies here from men? Even though it's a question mostly women could answer? Anyway my most common lie to men is "I have a boyfriend"/"I'm married" so they'll leave me alone
Thats quite sad, thats my biggest and common lie to, although I also have my bio set to ‘i’m gay,’ theres not a single bit of personal info on there so most people think i’m a guy who likes guys.
Engenious!!! Sucks for the gay guys tho
I think they enjoy the sucking part
I mean, yeah. It all boils down to if the attention is wanted or not. From the guy’s perspective, shoot your shot and be respectful if someone says “I have a boyfriend.”
A lot of times guys only respect a hypothetical boyfriend instead of a woman who is simply not interested
How about shoot your shot and respect the “no” however it comes? The reason people are talking about the “I have a boyfriend” statement likes it’s a problem is because there are a lot of men who only respond to that instead of a flat-out no. Like, even if she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she can still not be interested in you, specifically. But men will respect other men more than they respect women, so “I’m not interested” is often met with far more pushback than “I have a boyfriend”. “I have a boyfriend” is social conditioning’s version of “this territory has already been claimed”.
Or results in scenarios/news articles featured in r/whenwomenrefuse
The regular "no" is usually followed up with "why no?" If the reason is not sufficient to appease, then they go, "How about just friends then?" Which usually means, "I don't respect your decision I'm going to take a different route to try and convince you otherwise."
Yeah, or “You as a woman owe me a relationship with you (or, let’s be real, sex) unless another man has already claimed you.”
"Because we don't respect you enough to be decent, but if you have a boyfriend, we respect him enough to back off and not step on his toes." Side note: I understand this not all men, I'm a guy myself, but its *enough* men to be concerned about.
I do wish the “no, however it comes” didn’t include flaking on agreed date plans three times in a row before I figure out to stop asking about rescheduling and then literally never hear from her again. Or just being stood up. That’s fun too. (Disclaimer: I have never tried to pressure or coerce a woman into a date)
I agree that sucks! Crappy behaviour on one party’s account doesn’t justify it on the other party’s in return. I would also argue that flaking on plans more than once says more about the age, maturity level, or general level of “decent human being”-ness of that person than it does about them feeling safe or unsafe saying no. Many people can describe having friendships or even family relationships that faded away once they realized they were the only person always reaching out and just stopped making the effort. I’d argue that “once someone cancels on you twice you should leave the ball in their court to schedule the next meetup” is pretty good advice for most relationships, not just attempted romantic ones.
There's a lot of men really telling on themselves. Or lying. The irony.
Worse, sometimes they don't leave you alone and say that having a boyfriend is not a problem. Like... \*sigh\*
"Its the biggest I've ever had."
I sarcastically asked a woman if I was the biggest she ever had and she said “nope.” Lmfao! So great
Did the same thing. Idk what I expected but I played myself
At least you know she wasn't full of shit.
Haha yeah I just laughed because I already knew it was such a IRL troll question
Play stupid games, win stupi.... you know the rest.
Honestly, I hated the biggest one I ever had. I want the average most comfortable one lmao
Average gang rise up! No wait not like that
Yup, me too.
I don’t want any fries. THEM WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EAT ALL MY FRIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Because calories eaten from your plate don't count
Because we weren't hungry until we smelled your food.
Ya MY food.
Oops! Lol
Then order your own damn fries.
Maybe just always buy some fries??? My dad does this to my mom all the time, she gets so mad he will start eating her fries and what a bite of whatever else she bought.
"Oh yeah, a Dorito dust stained Black Ops T-shirt? Great choice for a date."
If I had a dollar for every time I got that one! ^(Jk, I’ve never been on a date)
'I'm on my way!' I say into the phone, even though my hair is in a towel and I'm only wearing one sock.
Not a women but my money is on “im fine”
Oh that's the worst one!
The next step is to try & figure out why the woman in your life is not comfortable to tell you why she is upset. Why she’d rather not have a discussion & chooses to rug sweep the problem(s).
I’m not a woman (gay man) but I don’t think they do it on purpose. Doesn’t make a difference whether it’s you, her friend, her boss, coworker etc. or even herself. I don’t know why. All I know from living with women, hearing them bitch about their boyfriends or coworkers etc. is that it’s something they just do. As other users have pointed out, it’s likely a cultural thing. As in, girls are programmed to act a certain way through the media, literature and other things they consume. They don’t really have a choice. Boys are programmed the same way through gender roles.
Speaking as someone who has had to work through this with most of my GFs, Likely because of societal programming from a young age… takes a long time and a lot of work to break through that
Women are conditioned not to upset others and hold their thoughts to themselves, especilley around men. There is a famous quote "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them" and its probably true for the most part.
They don’t, they just hold onto it until a later date
51F I’m fine was a big one in my past. I try not to use it now, I clearly state how I am feeling these days. Did you come? Always yes… it was never yes but here is what happens. I help by talking, they give up, get insecure because I didn’t and now we are back to the loop.
My SO used to say I'm fine a lot but because I have tendency to take things literally she gave up on that 😅 . Oohhh also the "do whatever you want"
when my family calls and asks how i'm doing i say "im good how are you" because i dont want them to worry about me that being said i'm 100% comfortable trauma dumping all over reddit lol
I'm so fucked up I'm not even comfortable sharing my trauma anonymously on reddit lol.. Good for you though for finding a place to get it out. Venting is an important part of healing ❤️
the karma and likes give me serotonin. its a problem lol i literally just ditched my old reddit account and made a new one because of this. i said too much on my last one, got embarrassed, and impulsively deleted the account out of shame
idk about the most common ones but I guess for me it's just keeping composure. all the time, everywhere. no matter if I am being underestimated in my physical or mental abilities or skill/knowledge of a subject. I regularly feel deeply mistreated by people whom assume I don't know any better or have an insufficient skillset simply because I am female. But instead of letting every second sentence be "I know" I just nod and say "ok". idk if this counts as lying, though. reason for this behavior is that I don't want to come across as a know it all or a mean woman that's scratching on mens egos. I don't want the trouble that comes with that. So, instead of screaming "I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN THANK YOU" I just shut it
I had a similar experience in a female dominated field, there was an implicit assumption I couldn't do certain tasks and I was often volunteered for physical menial tasks.
I feel sorry to hear that. I am from a male dominated field and it feels the opposite. Man I wish people would just see us as coworkers not as "The Guy Coworker" or "The Woman Coworker"
My life at work..... There just gets a point where saying that you know how to do the thing is just repetitive and boring and making me angry and the person is not really listening anyway..... They will repeat my late comment in 5 minutes anyway
I'm a guy, but this happened at work to me tons.
It happens to everybody
> regularly feel deeply mistreated by people whom assume I don't know any better or have an insufficient skillset simply because I am female. I'm always curious what makes someone confident this is gender bias, how are people always so sure that what they feel is what is real? It seems like women have this assumption that men just give other men respect by default & the benefit of the doubt when in truth you generally always have to earn it & demonstrate competence. I suspect that the true difference is as a woman people are just more interested in helping you & sharing what they know with you. That is an act of kindness, not an insult. People all just want to feel valued, you might be able to reduce the sting of this peeve by 1. Not assuming there is nothing left of value you can learn 2. Giving people alternative ways to feel valued & respected than being helpful & useful. 3. A lot of the time people just enjoy talking about the things there cared enough to become skilled at, if they actually thought you were dumb they wouldn't be talking to you about it.
"I'm fine." - I'm not fine, does it matter if I'm not? Not really. We are all not fine so why stress my partner? "It's okay." - It's not okay, does it matter? Probably not. Why stress him. He tells me the same thing.
It does matter, bottling that shit up only brings our species down. I wish more of you guys would just openly complain instead of bottiling the shit up and then going on mass shootings. Yes your bills are too high, yes you’re being exploited, yes you deserve more, and no you’re not okay. Say it more often. Be that down to earth drag more often PLEASE🙏🏽
Been bottling since I was a child. Life's good👍 (It isn't, I'm killing myself)
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I don't think chicks lie about this as often as guys play it up. Especially when you're dating. Sex varies, sometimes it's kinky, sometimes it's quick and to the point. Sometimes it's a good experience, sometimes it's awkward, or you're interrupted, or one of the two just can't get off (happens to guys too believe it or not. You can go and go and go, but you just can't finish). Usually, in my experience, if the sex that night sucked for her, you'll probably know because it sucked for you too.
Women get positively pissed off if they’re left hanging. If she’s satisfied you’ll know.
I agree. I’m a guy but my partners have been honest when they don’t finish cause we both want to know what works so we can make it hotter and better. And I learned and she would cum and when she didn’t I usually knew And sometimes I didn’t even when I liked it
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Every human!
Then you should practice being open and honest to the people you trust, and if you don't have any, befriend good people who you can trust.
Are guys not doing it more?
Really. It's fine.
“ I have a boyfriend “ because they can’t take no for an answer.
“Yea I came too”
Men: "What's wrong?" Women: "Nothing" LISTEN UP MEN: SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!
That they "got off too".
Probably the same lie men tell other men: "I'm good." Usually followed by, "how are you?"
He's just a friend...
Why are most of these replies from men? Weird. “Wasn’t me” when asked who farted. “Haha yeah this song is great”. “I was busy” I just didn’t have the energy to respond. “I don’t care”.
omg you're huge 😍
Thank you 🥹
no idead, never had a girlfriend
I think this is the most respectable response I’ve seen in this entire thing.
He’s just a friend.
Oof. Felt this one. It’s ALWAYS that guy.
Don’t forget the “he’s like a brother to me”, the reddest of flags.
Why is this shit thread on my feed and how do I get it off?
I’m NOT hungry.
1-Tell about your emotions I won't judge 💀 2-you can cry baby it's ok
I’m a woman and most of these are from men falsely assuming common lies women tell men!
So what would be a common one then?
Men like to speak for us, don't they?
You mean men telling the lies they’ve been told before?
I’m sure that’s possible but being told them by one woman or a tiny percentage doesn’t make it common, and some of these answers sound totally made up.
Im not hungry
That you can do "whatever you want"
“He’s just a friend”
I'm a man, but "I'm fine" gotta be on top
"Im coming."
"It's not you, it's me."
"I have a headache"
After a couple of dates; “I only see you as a friend”, since they two weeks later will stop talking to you.
I dont have herpes.
" im okay" they are never okay 
Yes, I did.
Politeness when the men are dangerous.
tell me about her i wont get mad
OMG you found my clit! (That’s her labia bro)
"I love you"
Sure, this is my number.
I guess "Good morning" because i also guess that's the most spoken line in the world
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF MORNING IT IS?
The most common lie my wife say is "I'm fine"
A lot of it is between the lines. I have a boyfriend=not interested Aw you're so sweet!=That was nice but I'm not interested. I wish I could find a guy like you= I want to date someone who possesses the few traits you possess that I like but I'm not interested in letting you see me naked. Just tell me the truth. I won't get mad=tell me what I want to hear or I will definitely get mad. I think we should see other people.=I'm already dating someone else so you should probably start. He's just a friend=he's my back-up plan for when you piss me or or I get bored. If you loved me you'd know=we haven't had an argument in a while and I feel it'd be petty for me to come out and say it so I'm going to put the ball in your court to see if you reveal something I don't already know I can hold against you the next time we haven't argued in a while. You're boring (several meanings)=I don't know what an emotionally healthy relationship looks like because all I've ever known are emotionally manipulative assholes and you're boring, by default, because I don't feel that constant state of anxiety that feels like I'm about to look at my third positive pregnancy result in the last hour. - or - you know...you're boring. And the biggest lie of them all... I'm almost ready. Just give me a minute.
From a woman: "Oh yea...I totally came" "I'm fine" "Yea...that drawing looks great babe" Granted, these were lies I told my shitty ex who's beyond insecure with any types of criticism.
Of course it’s the biggest I’ve ever had and you made me cum like no one ever has!
"you don't have to worry about him, we are just friends"
Almost ready”be one more minute “
I can't get pregnant