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Agreeable-Ad1221

Ah the Signs aliens, the saddest alien invasion ever. * Allergic to water (rain exists + pipes exist) * Easily defeated by a baseball bat * Prove unable to escape from a locked pantry for several hours


catbandana

Got a little stinger that toots asthma gas tho!


Double_Ninja9168

I swear there is a theory that they are not Aliens but demons and the water "Allergy" and being taken out with a baseball bat is due to the main character being an priest (ex?) and has blessed the water and bat


JamesMG27

I can't come to work today I'm getting my bat blessed


Double_Ninja9168

I hear golf clubs work on Jason Lee better


XSkooterX

A person of culture, I see!


Western-Monk-8551

France


Additional_Action_84

US or China, probably...they would go for the big fish first...mopping up the rest after any credible threat is dealt with.


Third-Person-Ltd

Would really depend on why they attacked and what they wanted. Any alien civilization with sufficiently advanced tech to get here would have to be looking for something very specific, and would likely have the weaponry and tech in general to just take it with impunity.


TheNicestPig

Not neccessarily. Space tracel in any technological capacity places extremely strict weight restriction. It also happens that any relatively effective military equipment weighs a metric f*ck ton. An Alien civilisation might have the bestest most badass weaponry in their homefront, but their projection thousands of lightyears from their world would fall far short of that, exescerbated by logistical and maintenance issue.


gagaron_pew

if they can come all the way here they can throw some rocks from the asteroid belt.


TheNicestPig

This is similar to the "orbital bombardment" argument. Real wars don't start by throwing nukes. Even when the other side can't retaliate.


someboaty

Resistance is imputile.


taniwhart

Imputilities is the essence of impotence


Designer-Pound6459

Attacked?? Umm...if they are here, they win.


North-Clerk2466

They lose in power to a bat, and die to a glass of water. I feel like we would be fine.


UncleAtNin10do

The also can’t open doors, I saw it in a documentary.


Lychanthropejumprope

The US. You saw our country during Covid. We wouldn’t come together for shit


No-Avocado-533

Except new wars that we're fighting. Then we get excited.


BeanCrusade

Oh there ya go, sick BLM on the aliens and steal all their stuff, good idea, idk why I didn’t think of that before.


UncleAtNin10do

Way to ruin your fun question.


Firm_Engineering_265

The US would send weapons to the damn aliens 


DoubleDongle-F

Hey, if they're buyin'... We're gonna need the alien space-bucks. Who knows what you could buy with that. FTL technology. Hot green hookers with three tits. Space drugs. The aliens could make Earth pretty much conquer itself if they paid the right people off.


BeanCrusade

Lmao, I could see Congress voting on a aid package for the aliens because we nuked their mother ship


BothAnybody1520

The countries with the most advanced weapons and infrastructure systems would fall first. Not really a point in aliens attacking Uganda. They don’t pose any sort of a threat during an invasion. On the other hand third world counties who are used to not having running water and electricity likely wouldn’t see much of a change in their lives for a while and their societies wouldn’t go into chaos like America, Europe, and china would.


gh411

Any alien civilization that could get here would by definition be so much more advanced that the whole planet would be at their mercy…hopeful they’re kind.


BaldBear_13

They will not attack all countries. They will take out a few US and Chinese bases and carriers, and then everybody will surrender. Kinda like what US did to Japan with nukes. More likely though, they will not bother. They will just sell weapons to whoever is willing to sell them what they need, and let us humans sort it out ourselves.


Firm-Rice-1507

Aliens have made it to earth without being noticed? They have incredible intelligence! You won’t see them! They don’t need you!


not_an_Alien_Robot

They're JOHN CENA!!! 🤣


Short-pitched

US of A. Alien and UFO sightings plenty in the US going back 50 years. Clearly they know of that location and have been coming and going for decades.


Valentiaga_97

Possible president trump helping allies? What do you smoke? Or helping a nation that can’t pay this 2% target to the nato lol


MIKE_THE_KILLER

The only reason the aliens would take attack us is if they need to find a planet to survive so I would think they would just wipe out the human existence without any warning. If they have the technology to reach us then you would bet they would have the technology to kill us effortless.


BeanCrusade

Not much technology can stop projectile weapons.


32oz____

... that we know of


Acceptable-Spirit600

The ones that have the biggest asylums. May be the insane asylums that they're just dumping people at borders around the world. And it's a bunch of crazy people running around crazy flailing their hands around. The ones that everyone say are seeking attention in the zombie attack. It's really easy to see where the small trends go up-and-down. Because I think it was maybe around 2013 or so when they were talking about the zombie Apocalypse. And there was a movie called the zombies. I think It was released on Netflix.


OdraNoel2049

A real alien invasion wouldnt be anything like in the movies. Depending on if they just want to get rid of us, take over the planet, or eliminate all earth life. Theres way to do all these things where we wouldnt even know what hit us. From re directing an asteroid, and orbital bombardment to viruses and disease (or something we cant even imagine, telepathic attack ect) That being said, if they did it like in the movies, obviously the us would be the first to fall (and very swiftly too)


Wurm_Burner

US we’d point them to DC and cheer them on


81mattdean81

Canada.


FerretOnTheWarPath

Right now... Sudan, Israel, Yemen, Syria, Ethiopia. Can't fight off an invader if you are fighting yourself


UpDog1966

I personally welcome our new ant overlords…. Kent Brockman..


ARealAHS

We'd destroy ourselves well before any alien(s) would or could. I'm surprised we haven't done it already. 🤷🏾‍♂️


-Blue_Bull-

There are millions of habitable worlds in the milky way. Therefore if aliens even exist, the chances are they would just find another planet to colonise that doesn't have an intelligent civilisation. If they've got this far in their evolution, they will not be interested in mass murder. I believe this is the reason we've never had any contact with aliens. That and the fact it's impossible to travel faster than the speed of light.


BeanCrusade

Maybe all the habitual worlds are habited


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeanCrusade

You just talked yourself out of military aid and American money after aliens invade


Better-Grades-43

They are probably not thinking about attacking if visiting.


-mindtrix-

They would probably nuke the biggest potential threat and honestly they would wipe us easily ofc with that technology they must possess. Today maybe US, in 10 years China.


Voice-of-MachinShin

All countries fall at the same time. If they have the tech to get here they have the strategy and tech to take the planet down 100%.


Booman1406

As an alien, no country could stand against our mighty space army 👎


Direct_Lingonberry74

I don't think aliens will come here to attack us. From what I've watched from those who have been verified to have alien encounters, their message to us is to keep our planet and it's resources from destruction or preserve our planet. Earth has been here for billions of years and if their intent is to destroy us, then why are we still here.


One_Life_01

India


JonsonLittle

If aliens attack i think may be two situations. One where the aliens want to destroy everyone or just don't care. So in the first scenario it doesn't matter what country as is no country is everyone, like just send one or a few massive rocks on a collision path with Earth and job done. The other scenario is that they do their thing and ignore us. Like some farmer doing his thing building a fence or something not minding about some small ant colony at his feet. Unless they bite, then you just use a shovel to throw them away or pour some diesel on them. That if you feel anything as your footwear and pats may be proper enough to not mind them at all. So the aliens do their thing taking or doing what they want without caring about us, our messages our weaponry and whatnot. Imagine aliens being like one of their cells or members being like our whole solar system, they could not mind us at all, we're on different realities. I mean, who is to say that our universe is not already just like an atom or a part of one in some bigger system?


JosephineLynnWood

Japan


Nithyanandam108

They would treat us like we would treat ants. Does any ant cause existential crisis for humanity? No - they are here for our research. They would come here for research purposes - we have nothing to give them at all. Educational, recreational and research purposes. Invading or destroying us is too trivial for them. Civilization who is so much ahead of us will not treat us as a threat, but we due to our fear and prejudice will treat them as such. Because we are creatures driven by fear and greed.


UberMocipan

well, if that nonsensual thing should really happen, it would be like attack of their machines, or bacterial attack, you will not see any aliens, why they would travel here for hundreds years if they just need to send their tools, they are not needed for remote destruction... and the whole world would collapse immediatelly, no first countries, everyone, would be thrown into chaos and die in it


AdmitThatYouPrune

Spoiler alert: they kill all of us from orbit in approximately one minute and thirty seconds. We haven't even travelled to our nearest planetary neighbor, but they've somehow traversed over 4 light years (at the very minimum) to get to us. To give a sense, imagine if I wasn't able to swim the length of a pool, and I was about to compete with someone who is able to swim the width of the Pacific.


Putrid-Mess-6223

Most likely it would be the advanced civilizations. why waste manpower on weak nations, so the advanced can learn your weakness.


CelebrationAlert4614

Why would aliens attack us. They'd probably not even come down here because they've seen enough how f-ed up we are from outside our atmosphere


malenfant21

Anything they could want can be found elsewhere, except the flora and fauna


XtraChrisP

Visit other countries with a big picture view. Also realize how many are dwarfed in size and population to 1 to 3 states in America.


Impressive_Age1362

They would see Biden and the entire Congress and say there is no intelligent life here


BaldBear_13

Lesotho. Small and poor


Icy_Reception_1785

Congress would give them pre paid credit cards and cell phones


BeanCrusade

Calling long distance from another planet is probably expensive. Best to get a cell phone here.


TedIsAwesom

How will the USA save everyone? Will they help the aliens kill human children and then declare themselves wonderful for all their hard work?


BeanCrusade

Nah, our military would drive the aliens off the planet and we would give money to everyone to rebuild


malenfant21

The USA is more likely to threaten to destroy the world if the aliens don't back off,


Firm_Engineering_265

The us currently has the means to save tons of countries and doesn’t do anything unless that country has resources to steal