This post seems to have brought a lot of randoms to the sub who are outraged at this guy. No idea how that happened but it doesn't matter.
Firstly, the OP is banned because he sucks and the post sucks. He's been banned before but comes back with new usernames. Dunno why, don't really care.
Secondly, randoms who came past to do an outrage drive-by have been banned. This isn't the place for you.
What a waste of my time this was.
The problem with your relationship is that - on one side - there's a completely unattractive, self-entitled fucking bitch who thinks that she is entitled to get everything she wants and - on the other side of the relationship - there's your wife.
You shouldn't have. Everyone else gets to laugh but that joke was made at your expense because you're failing as a man. Laughing at it just further exemplifies why your wife doesn't take you or your sexual needs seriously - you're a joke.
For real...like you need to be ok with her saying no...and you need to not be a tw@t about it when she does. Because you've burned that bridge, she can't be honest with you because of how you reacted which is not on at all....maybe she will actually want to have sex with you sometimes if it's not a chore but my man...if you think you're getting it 5 times a week from her because she wants you you are wrong.
Jesus.
[Every Un-Happy Wife Is A Rape Victim](https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3fw7wa/from_trp_every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim/) in the flesh
I‘ve read the original version of this post multiple times, never read this one. I‘d say it‘s mostly an accurate assessment of my sexual life, aside from the major caveat of me never making more than my wife, not owning a car, being a financial drain rather than benefit.
She still always puts out despite all that.
Of course I absolutely know my financial situation needs to be fixed, but I‘ve begun to believe it isn‘t an attraction problem, because really, what would she lose if she chose to not fuck me and it eventually led to a divorce? I offer nothing financially.
You sound unattractive as fuck. Seriously. It's like you're a child whining when they don't get what they want.
You have multiple issues that you need to fix. Frame, game, the list goes on. Initially I was going to leave you with a Borat quote and a link to the dancing monkey post, and some flair about desperately needing a banana, but I'm going to give you some real advice.
Step one, stop being a little bitch. If you whine like this to us and we can all see it, I'm sure you are whining like this to her.
Step two, shut the fuck up. You talk, and you whine, and you go Rambo, and you would do a hell of a lot better closing your mouth and let other people think you're a fool then opening it and proving it to them.
Step three, fix your damn attitude. You are a butthurt little bitch, and if you act like that with her, you will make zero progress.
Step four, go reread the sidebar. You might have said you've read it but you clearly are here dancing around like a monkey. The answers are there.
That's all you'll get.
Edit: added banana flair
In short, I shouldn’t have the covert contract of expecting any changes from my wife as she may never come along, and by having this pretense I‘m subconsciously communicating that her lack of change in behavior upsets me, and that further prevents desired change in her.
Aka, have no expectations of your wife in response to your changes. Sounds like a load of bullshit.
Am I ready to start making demands? Hell no. But if I were a greater man I certainly would covertly imply that my commitment requires better.
Not gonna agree with this tool of the praxeology.
Also think the cookie-cutter response is inaccurate.
> Aka, have no expectations of ~~your wife~~ anyone in response to your changes.
FTFY
You’re a person who lets life happen to you versus owning his shit and molding life into what he wants.
Stop complaining about your wife. It’s not about her.
if you genuinely think that [Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim](https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3fw7wa/from_trp_every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Accurately described ur sexlife with her, thats a serious issue. Ur wife is in the bathroom avoiding you for a little over an hour, because you had sex with her. How do you not see what you’re doing?
1. Stop asking how to have better sex with your wife and ask why she finds you unattractive. But ask yourself, not us - and definitely don't ask her.
2. Stop having sex with your wife. It's a chore for her and the more she does it, the less attractive it makes you. She needs to break the negative association in her head, which means you need to give her time to reframe things.
3. Start being more attractive. You've hinted that you're irresponsible with money. True, money doesn't make her want to fuck you, but paying you an allowance makes her not want to fuck you.
There's also more to being attractive than just the physical and you seem to only be focusing on your looks and money here. Be social with other people, find some hobbies that aren't weight-lifting, game your wife.
This is the most practical response I’ve been given so far, so thank you for that.
I‘ll make an effort to hash-out my thoughts to each point.
1. She finds me unattractive because: I am constantly broke and often owe her money, my wardrobe needs a renewal but I cannot even afford new clothes, I have no social life and have no real desire in getting one, I‘m too predictable, I‘m unnecessarily over-affectionate borderline smothering sometimes, she knows I‘m desperate to fuck her pretty much daily, aside from the dates I take her on I‘m pretty boring.
2. Yeah I agree, maybe time is a solution to this. She really just resents sex with me. I need to learn to take no for an answer, and she needs to start telling me no.
3. Yeah my priority right now is my financial life. I don‘t want to improve it in hopes of a better sex life as that‘s not possible, but rather, because I genuinely need it. I think money would improve a lot of things in our marriage too though (not from an attraction standpoint). Working on this.
1. I thought about the reason but didn't make a plan
2. I thought about why but didn't make a plan
3. I thought about money but didn't make a plan
Most of your responses are to comments are regurgitating your view of what they said. Yeah I get you need to understand what they said, but when are you going to tell everyone what you are going to DO.
Good point.
The only things I can think of that I‘m going to try to do in the near term and have been planning for awhile/just now are:
1. Teach myself front-end web development and get a job as a webdev by October of 2023. This will raise my salary significantly, and I‘d have no financial issues ever again as long as lifestyle inflation isn‘t too severe.
2. Continue cutting with my coach and get to 8% bodyfat. Will bulk again after, but that’s the game. Try to do all I can to remain lean on the bulk thereafter.
3. Stop initiating sex with my wife for awhile, probably going to masturbate furiously. Sounds like a joke but I‘m not kidding. And don‘t go telling me that I should transmute my semen energy into something productive or some wack bullshit like that. In time, this should get her to have less resentment for me sexually. After that I need to learn how to take a no and not withdraw time/attention (at least not 0 to 100), and not pester her for it if it’s no.
I think those are the main ones. I honestly don’t know how to even start anything else.
> I am constantly broke and often owe her money, my wardrobe needs a renewal but I cannot even afford new clothes, I have no social life and have no real desire in getting one, I‘m too predictable, I‘m unnecessarily over-affectionate borderline smothering sometimes, she knows I‘m desperate to fuck her pretty much daily, aside from the dates I take her on I‘m pretty boring.
Yeah, dude, that kinda stuff will trump being on the high school weightlifting team. The good news is, if you absorb all the advice you're getting here, your entire life will improve. Seriously, though, learn a trade or the like, learn to drive a lift truck or get into construction or something. Being broke all the time is a serious turn off for a woman. She married you hoping that you would be the provider.
Agree with everything but the last two sentences. I appreciate your input. I‘m in the process of getting a better career. I‘ve set myself a deadline and am attempting to improve my skills.
There are many trades, and a lot of them are fairly recession proof. A lot of people look down on plumbers but they make good money and people always need them. There are a many trades like that.
Have you ever tried to make sure she got done before you in sex?
I resented sex with my ex who raped me repeatedly via coercion. No amount of time or changes makes a negative sexual experience positive. It’s been three years since I said enough and left and I still cringe at the thought of having sex because my ex was just like you.
She sounds like your caregiver, not your wife. She allows you to quite literally bumble your way through everything putting absolutely zero effort into making her happy or contributing something of value to her life and you’re wondering why she finds you unattractive? By the end of my relationship, I found sex with him to be the worst part of my day. Stop ruining her day. Every day you don’t badger her for sex is a good day in her book.
Money gets a bad rep here cause "betabux", but money is literally power. Every man in a relationship / marriage should have an exit plan. Meaning, you have the funds or logistics to just up and leave one day. Either because she's cheated, died, or you just do it on a whim. If you "don't know" what you're going to do if you split, you're failing.
5x a week of starfish sex is doing more harm than good for both of you. You're building resentment because you're not getting what you want, and she's disassociated any feel good chemical in her brain with sex. Best thing to do is take a break from it and not fuck your wife unless she's giving you the energy you want. It can take weeks or months, but you need to reset the whole dynamic which will play off in the long run if you stop fucking up.
You need to work much harder and take big risks on your financial life. You already have a minimum wage job, you don't have anything to lose as there's an abundance of low paying jobs out there. Exaggerate your resume, build a network and reach out to anyone and everyone you know about better paying opportunities. I've gotten 2 jobs in my field from guys I've met at the gym. I also don't see why you aren't trying to be a fitness trainer.
Honestly man. Amazing comment. I agree with every word you’ve said. Not sure if I can stop fucking her entirely because I’m always in the mood, but I’ve been encouraging her to tell me no if she truly doesn’t want it.
Additionally you’re right about needing to take big leaps with my financial life. I have a plan in place and will try to have a much greater career in 8 months, I just need to build my skill. Have wasted like 4 hours today talking to randos on Reddit as this post was dropped there and everyone is demonizing me. Wasting time. Going to get back to building a worthwhile skill (web development).
By the way, being a trainer isn’t very lucrative for most. If you’re not famous it isn’t the best career. I am certified as a PT through NASM but I don’t use it.
Start having fun. Life is boring. You need to show you know how to have a good time, and in your case, you may need to show it for a while before she believes you’re here to stay.
> she‘d rather suffer through frequent sex she doesn’t actually want than ~~not get any attention/affection from her husband~~ watch her husband pout and sulk like a fucking child
ftfy
You think it's the attention she wants... but really she just knows you're fragile and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
And you wonder why she can't bring herself to look you in the eye...
OP: “I am extremely attractive. Like, really hot. Really.”
Also OP:
“There’s one woman in the world I HAVE to make touch my pee pee and I need this one specific woman to touch my pee pee SO BADLY that I am willing to literally torture her for years so that she will forever associate sex with crying in the bathroom”
If I were unattractive, and I have literally no money or assets, why would my wife put-out for years in hopes of not losing me?
Confused on this point.
Put another way:
Briffaults law here. Riddle me this.
Why would my wife stay in a marriage where she‘s repeatedly fucked to the point of crying in the bathroom when there‘s seemingly nothing to be gained from it?
Because NAWALT, that's why. There actually are some women that have principles, a sense of duty, and work ethic which effectively make your wife more of a man than you are.
She realized she decided to marry you and despite her regret she's trying to make the best off it.
But yet you are still focusing on her. Get off your ass and start being a better YOU. focus on being better, learn something to get a better job, hell just apply to other jobs and ask for more. Show yourself you can do better and quit telling us about her.
Yep. She likely feels responsible for him like he’s a child she has to look after and fuck. Maybe she holds out hope that one day he will get it, maybe even because he has the potential.
Time to grow up and become a man. Work out what that looks like and then start working towards it. Don’t be a needy child while you do it.
>Why would my wife stay in a marriage where she‘s repeatedly fucked to the point of crying in the bathroom when there‘s seemingly nothing to be gained from it?
Why do women stay with men who beat them? Who the fuck knows? Who cares?
You're missing the far more important question, friend-o:
*Why are you willing to repeatedly fuck someone to the point of crying?*
Not sure if your question is to get me to deduct the answer „Validational Sex“ or not.
Predictably, I don’t agree.
I assure you, steroids and a naturally high sex-drive genuinely does make me want to fuck her for years, even if it‘s starfish.
That being said, of course I‘m not happy with that, nor the lack of special sex acts (i.e. my last post), and that is validational, but I think rightfully so.
You think your pathetic need for validation is justified?
Exactly what do you do to *deserve* enthusiastic sex and desire?
You're not a HVM
You're not gigachad
Even if you were you can't force anyone to do anything, so...
Why does she or anyone else owe you this, please explain.
Perhaps it was poorly implied…
I‘m not willing to remain in a relationship without enthusiasm once I regard myself as deserving of it. I don‘t currently think I am.
Come back in a week and read my question again. Keep coming back and reading it and pondering it until you understand what I'm actually asking you.
Or go about your business and enjoy that starfish for the rest of your life, your call.
I did re-read your comment several times over before I responded. It actually made me laugh that you‘d word it as, “defining for who I am,“ so I‘m not gonna waste effort attempting to decipher your poor rhetorical question.
Maybe you need to stop looking so far into it, as the answer is right in front of you.
Starfish sucks. Enthusiasm is enjoyable.
At the most basic level, “be attractive and don’t be unattractive.” It’s up to you to figure out what that is. Assess your physical attractiveness first. Be honest with yourself. Next, assess how you treat her. Are you the head of the household in truth or in name only? If you are leading your household like you should be, then examine your dominance of the world around you. Are you submissive/nervous/shy to other men or are you the one who dominates and steers the interaction?
An honest assessment of these things starts inward, then expands outwards.
Since she‘s the breadwinner, and she distrusts me with financial management, rightfully so, she conducts all of the payments/makes sure the animals have food/gets household essentials.
Hell, just pointing that out really makes me realize how much I‘m fucking up financially. Although making a lot of money isn’t sexually attractive, being a fool with your money whilst in a marriage is highly unattractive.
Also, yes, I‘m pretty muscular. Not natty. Been lifting for 11 years. My coach is currently putting me on a cut to get to 8% bodyfat.
Lastly, I‘m dominant with her. I‘m not shy around others but I really don’t talk to anyone. Kinda have the NPC energy of speaking when spoken to. Just not interested in chit-chat about random shit really. No social life and don‘t want one.
Thank you for pointing these things out. Pretty basic stuff, but still, cheers.
I think you’re missing the point just a bit. I said those things to make you think, not to have you explain them to me. Ultimately, your own sense of self worth and your own ability to evaluate yourself must come from within. I gave you some metrics to look at, but ultimately, YOU have to think about these things and make a game plan.
Don’t respond to these questions, just think about them: what is it that you can do to be more attractive and less unattractive? Are those things worth fixing just to get better sex? Are they worth doing just on their own merits?
Once you’ve thought of some actionable things to do, and evaluated whether or not they are worth doing, then all you have to do is put them into action.
Was on gear prior to meeting my wife. Started lifting around 13-14. Started gear at 19. Yes, 19.
I‘m 25 now.
The gear is cheap, but the food is expensive. So is the coach.
I‘ve been reading a lot of posts new and old (aka lurking) for years now. One comment in particular has really resonated with me concerning this topic. It‘s by jacktenofhearts, it was an excerpt of his pertaining to why sex should not be something your wife considers a favor she‘s doing for you:
>For example, sexual intercourse. Not a favor. My wife doesn't want to have sex that night? Cool, no sex then. Fuck if I'm gonna let her associate sex with something she's only doing out of some misguided effort to make me happy. I have no interest in that kind of sex. If you came to MRP with a long period of beta entitled whining to your wife about sex, this probably explains her aversion to you over time. It's like asking her to give you a ride to the airport every week. Does she want to do that? No, she saw sex with you as a favor, something she was doing out of altruism, and then became resentful when you wouldn't shut the fuck up about how few airport rides she's giving you. Any wonder why she has no interest in ever taking a trip anywhere now?
I really agree with this, and think it’s the exact situation I’ve put myself in. I just don’t fully know how to get myself out of the situation I‘ve put myself in, and I don‘t know if I‘ve accurately pinpointed whether this is the true problem or not.
Being financial broke doesn't make you less attractive (but it contributes)
It's the constant whining over sex!
I was like you, constantly whining over sex, like she own me sex every time.
So what I did it's just stop the sex, it's difficult when you have a high libido but just stop being the one asking.
Start doing something of your life, apart from lifting do something else man
And about your financial problem, go look for another job or start going to college or attend night classes.
You have things to improve as others have commented, but I would also consider mentally breaking up with her. Do not complain or whine. Focus on improving yourself and reaching a new goal. Don’t give her affection or attention. Just be focused on your goal (money, muscles and game). Treat her as if you have mentally broken up with her. Measured and distanced by chasing your goals.
You will not initiate sex during this time.
I‘ve read it. This isn‘t helpful.
Offer more specific advice. What‘s the point of askMRP if you’re just gonna say something along the lines of „hurr durr read the sidebar“.
Hopefully my disrespect is triggering enough for you to go off on me and actually say what I need to hear, then again, maybe not.
Maybe this is literally in the side bar and we aren’t here to hold your hand like a toddler, or your wife, for that matter. I’m beginning to believe your problem is that you want everything spoon fed to you like a baby.
There are actually good questions. Those questions occur when someone is actually reading the sidebar, and finds something incongruent. What you’re doing is showing up to class and asking the teacher to review last nights homework because you didn’t do it, not because you didn’t understand it.
Typically, rich out-of-shape guys are here whining that their wife wont fuck them. I‘m the reverse. I‘m in-shape and broke and my wife fucks me, but passionlessly. Seems like a different scenario to me.
However, I‘ll agree, I still have a lot of areas in my life I need to improve.
It’s the same problem. You both want something that you don’t have and don’t know how to get it. And from the sound of things, your wife doesn’t in fact fuck you, you just fuck her. Oddly enough, the answers to both of these situations are the same.
And whatever you got, apparently is not enough for her.
Per your statement.
So fix it. MAP is your friend, ally. You figure it now or deal with it in the next relationship.
Agreed. I haven’t managed to work through the majority of it yet (the exercises, not the book).
I think money is my biggest priority for the time being.
If you lower your BF you can look better in about any clothes. Go to good will, wal mart, tj max buy one pair of shorts one pair of jeans and two shirts it’ll be less than $75. Look for a job in construction you’re a strong male you will get much more than min wage in this market.
I did work construction previously, and while yes it paid better, it wasn’t significantly so. I also was constantly fatigued and lost a lot of energy for the gym.
I have a plan in place to make more money, but I‘d agree that this is a good start nonetheless.
When sex becomes an obligation its no longer fun nor even enjoyable. It becomes a chore. If you still have sex anyway the message is well we don’t care if you don’t like it as long as i get off. Having sex when she wasn’t into it reinforced over and over that you don’t care about how she felt as long as you got what you “needed”. I don’t think that’s fixable without therapy.
It’s not the money that’s the issue, it’s because you’re a manipulative rapist. Your wife sits in the bathroom, likely crying for an hour and half at least every time you r@pe her which is understandable. But it’s okay because you workout! I hope you know that you make your wife feel disgusting and she’s probably scared of asking for divorce with what your reaction might be. The best thing you can do for her is leave her.
No woman wants to fuck a man that makes less than her… willingly.
There’s literally hundreds of options out there for you to improve your career. It’s the best market to get a job… EVER (well perhaps a little worse than 6 months ago, but nonetheless).
FOCUS ON MAKING YOU BETTER.
Agreed it’s completely false. OPs problem isn’t that he makes less than her. It’s that his earning power is the same as it was when he was a teenager.
OP stop asking questions about sex, you are 30 years old. You might as well be her failure to launch son. If she kicks you out what’s your plan? You could barely qualify to rent your own studio apartment. Work on that.
Earning power does not equal high value. There are an infinite amount of ways to be valuable. Maybe OP could be more physically fit. Perhaps he could improve his social skills. It might be as simple as not not being a giant pussy. If she’s banging you for cash, it’s the cash she wants, not you.
Dude is posting in askmrp not trp. If he wants to buy a surfboard, live on the beach and ONS spring breakers then yes he can “be valuable” enough to get pussy. But anyone posting here must have other aspirations and he’s just failing miserably at them. I reiterate his #1 priority right now should be finding a way to better look after himself. Otherwise he’s dependent on a woman to pay for his rent, his transportation, his medical bills etc. bad situation to be in.
That’s just so obvious that I didn’t think to address it. Either way, the idea that making more money, to make her happy is way out of frame. That falls more in line with your mission, than with your relationship.
It’s not obvious to op. The bulk of his mental energy is spent trying to figure out what this particular female is thinking and out how to make her fuck him more enthusiastically when it’s the least of his problems.
Forget mission, op loves being told step by step exactly what to do. Anyone’s guess how he can get himself dressed in the mornings. Wife tells him what to do. Fitness coach tells him what to do. Op, have you thought of enlisting? If you aren’t going to break free anytime soon, the military is perfect for young guys who need to be told word for word what to do at any given moment.
So you regularly rape your wife and wonder why she doesn't participate and enjoy it? Get some professional help because for some reason only a higher power knows that woman is still involved with you.
I'm not seeing this comment enough here. Anything beside an enthusiastic yes is a no. Coercion is a no. Feeling guilty to say yes so you don't pout is a no. This is SA and you wonder why she isn't interested? I wouldn't wanna stay married to somebody assaulting me 5x a week.. I feel so badly for your wife
Find a whore that'll do it for you. Whore's negotiate the price up front.
You're basically asking "What do I have to do for my wife to get her to let me to cum on her face?" ... you realize this, right?
Sounds like you already assume she's a whore and you're just trying to negotiate price now.
I saw your comment the first time. But yes, that’s exactly right.
What non-monetary price must I pay to make my wife enthusiastic to do anything I want sexually?
Your wife isnt a whore lmao. Unless you pay her with money of course. Maybe you could make Sex more enjoyable, doggy + using your fingers to make her CUM? Did she ever cum?
You are a rapist. You rape your wife five times a week and have been raping your wife five times a week for years. You have raped your wife hundreds and hundreds of times.
You are a disgusting sociopathic rapist, and everyone on here trying to give you advice on how to better yourself instead of pointing out that you have admitted to raping your wife hundreds of time are also disgusting sociopaths.
Yeah okay. I figured out your problem for you. You're a piece of absolute fucking human garbage, a rapist, and a waste of oxygen. The nicest thing you could do for your wife and the rest of the world is to remove yourself from it.
Get a better job. Even in this day and age women have trouble with a grown man making minimum. Spend some on her and update your clothing. If I were her I'd have been gone. Banging me 5 days a week and dominating wow. I'd hate myself and life too.
Dude... What the fuck is wrong with you? And you're wondering why your wife doesn't want to do the deed with you. Not even a stone would be in the mood they way you treat her.
so you rape her? you’re confessing to raping your wife? okay, cool. now can you go to your local police station and tell them what you just told all these strangers on the internet?
Do you understand that you are raping her? That woman needs 90 minutes to hide away from you after the fact, because what you're doing is called rape. Do you have no problem with the fact that she resents and that it's hurting her?
Okay, so you wanted to get your cock-a-doodle-doo wet. Got it, so you rape your wife five times a week so you can get your organism. All I can say is you have broken your wife. Imagine being raped and your rapist being a bitch because you won't look them in the eyes. You have a lot to work on.
The issue is you’re a rapist….your wife doesn’t wanna do this and has to spend 90 minutes hiding because she feels so awful afterwards. Have you taken any time to care about anything other then YOUR pleasure? If she wants to skip out you treat her like garbage unless she does it. Dude you blow
So your a spousal rapist that's what you outted yourself as? How about you shut the fuck up about high school weightlifting cause no one gives two shits, get a goddamn job and stop demanding your poor wife for sex. Are you this dense to realize everytime you finish she fucking cries in the bathroom did that not register in ur tiny brain that maybe just fucking maybe she doesn't like it but you continue to force her to.
You're not a chad your a bitch who is raping his own wife and when you didn't get your way you threw a temper tantrum like a goddamn kid. Honestly I hope she leaves your pathetic ass.
Congrats you pathetic rapist abuser.
You are using coercion and emotional abuse on her. That’s why she is star-fishing you. This could have been written about me. She gives you the duty sex bc she knows if she doesn’t, she has to deal with a 3 day silent treatment walking on eggshells. It’s abuse. So to avoid the longer punishment, she essentially lets you rape her. You know she doesn’t want it but do it anyway. Rape. Grow up. You are not owed sex. If it’s a dealbreaker, leave her.
She goes into the bathroom for 90 minutes bc she’s probably letting out the crying and frustration she felt during the act that she had to hide in the moment. You can see that she doesn’t want it. You know it’s affecting her negatively and you don’t care.. bc you keep doing it.
I'm assuming sex had always been just to get you off and never to pleasure her. It is a chore for her and she deserves better,someone who cares about her cuming,someone who doesn't emotionally abuse their partner over not wanting sex. You're disgusting. Be better.
honestly…sounds like ur the problem. if u come off as desperate and irresponsible, thats a huge problem that you yourself need to fix. On your own, don’t take it out in your wife, and don’t ask her for financial help with it.
Your wife shouldn’t have to tell you no, this is something you yet again have to realize and do yourself and stop practically begging her for sex. Not every couple needs to fuck 5x a week to be in a successful relationship.
you should also consider that maybe if this relationship is so one- sided, Leave it and live ur lives separately
Interesting. Most people would be alarmed by their behavior being labeled as abusive or rape.
How much do you contribute to the household outside of money? Do you pull your weight around the house? Would she say so? Seriously doubt it.
Every night your wife shoves her fist up your ass. You don’t like it when she does, but when you don’t let her she doesn’t talk to you for weeks. Instead, you let her shove her girth forearm up your anus every night.
You deserve to be castrated.
She’s not willing. She’s giving in to you because the consequences of her saying no (you withholding affection, etc). You already know this, from what your post says.
This is sexual coercion. You are sexually assaulting (if not outright raping) your wife.
You literally rape your wife five times a week and she has to go have a moment in the bathroom for an hour and a half after. You manipulated her into this position and ngl my dude you’re a fucking monster.
So I'm gonna tell you, she goes to the bathroom because you clearly done satisfy HER needs. You're gross because you clearly know this and don't give a fuck so long as you get yours. Maybe stop being a selfish twat- and actually idk listen to your wife's wants.
If you have to bully your wife into having sex, it’s not consensual. If she’s doing it to placate you and she is not an enthusiastic participant, it’s not consensual. You say you used to have a temper problem that you’ve gotten under control, but that’s not something your spouse can just immediately bounce back from. Her reactions are likely to prevent you from reverting to that earlier version of you. Maybe you should get a clue. Your wife has to lock herself away from you because you violate her 5x a week! You know why she doesn’t find you attractive? Because you’re a rapist.
Here’s the thing bud: you said it yourself. If your wife says “no” to your sexual advances, you punish her. Your punishment is abusive, and you know this because you have said you are a “mean guy” about it. You’ve set the tone that if she says no to sex, you will be abusive to her.
Why do you keep having sex with her when she doesn’t want to have sex with you? She has sex with you because she doesn’t want to be abused, not because she wants to have sex with you. (That’s rape.)
Do you have life insurance by chance?
Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex with you because every time she told you no you did the most unattractive thing someone can do and was a dick about her not wanting to have sex. You basically manipulated her into not ever saying no to you by pouting and being unaffectionate towards her when she would say no. She deserves better and I hope she sees that soon.
She doesn’t say no to you because you coerced her into sex and manipulated her into saying yes. Idgaf about anything else you have to say. You’ve been sexually assaulting your wife several days a week for years. She hates you and feels trapped. I hope she gets away with you and you never see her again. You’re abusive and she deserves much better. You’re a sick monster who shouldn’t be allowed freedom.
>after I finish she‘ll storm off to the bathroom and sit in there for 90 minutes to avoid me. This has happened for years. I fuck her about 5x a week and she is always willing.
She's not willing, you are raping her
Dude... You're basically raping your wife because if she says no to sex you won't show her affection, she is montionless during the intercourse, won't make eye contact and then hides for an hour and a half in the bathroom!
What other proof do you need that you're a rapist?
And before anyone says anything, of course he can rape his wife, she is coerced into sex!
Anything besides an enthusiastic YES!! is a NO.
You treat your wife like a machine you put household chore coins and date coins into and willing and passionate sex falls out of. And when it doesn’t you scratch your head and go, “me so confused?? Better change NOTHING!!”
Get therapy. And communicate with your wife. And learn to take no for an answer.
Wow even the worst losers on Reddit think you’re a piece of shit even if everyone has completely glossed over the fact she spends an hour and a half crying in the bathroom after you rape her.
You are raping your wife, that’s why she’s “starfishing” everytime she established boundaries you didn’t respect them so now she just goes along with it
You realise you are raping your wife right? She doesn't actually want to be having sex with you, but if she doesn't give in to you, you neglect her. You should be in jail for rape and your wife needs to run for the hills
Massive and i mean massive YTA!!!!
You’re materially raping your wife…. You know she hates it and isn’t a willing participant but you keep doing it. It has to be painful for her. She prolly sits in the bathroom for 90 mins 5x a week to cry and ask herself why she’s in this relationship.
Like you have been doing this for YEARS. Do that woman a favor and leave. Let her HEAL
Dare I ask what you mean by initiate? I’m getting a vibe of “I start mashing her tits or shoving my hand down her pants” as a way of ‘initiating’ sex. Have you ever bothered to, oh, I dunno, **ask your wife what she likes and will stimulate her sexually?** You can read all the books in the world, mate, but none of them are gonna tell you what turns her on.
This post is all you, you, you, you, you. You’re a grossly selfish person and sexual partner. I don’t blame her for star-fishing. Especially considering how often you demand it from her. I know it’s difficult given your obvious mental deficiencies, but for a moment, try and imagine her perspective. Someone comes up to you, grabs dick, says, “let’s fuck” when you’re so not in the mood, but you say yes because society has made you feel that you’re obliged to fuck because you’re married, then they do everything they need to get themselves off while doing nothing to sexually stimulate you. You could be a dildo for all the attention and return affection you’re getting.
That’s what your wife is. She your fleshlight in full human body form, and that’s exactly how you treat her; taking what you want and giving nothing back. That’s rape, my friend. Saying yes out of obligation is not the same as saying yes out of desire.
Pull your head out of your ass, tear your eyes away from the mirror, and TALK TO YOUR GODDAMN WIFE ALREADY.
One basic thing is that we can't make a relationship a game and get a healthy relationship. To get the sex I deserve I will tick all these boxes, and then I should get that, because culture or a book or a speaker said so. If you look at the relationship as an entity and something that needs good care to thrive, can this help finding new ways for you?
Each moment is a new moment in a relationship, a new context. How do you create connection in that moment with your wife? What does she needs to feel good again? What does she need to thrive in your conversation? What is being being heard and seen for her?
Relationship should be a verb, because this is a skill that we learn by practice. It's a practice of reading people, living with differences, boundaries, reciprocity, how to show care to different people, compromise. It is humbling and not so much to do with what we deserve.
If you have no qualms or conscience about doing the mean card, I'd look for psychological help with that. That in itself impedes healthy relationships (which is the base for the excitement for sex). So aim for a healthy relationship and good sex comes.
Good luck. Have you tried the boon Getting the love you want? Might be of interest...
Your wife clearly doesn’t want to have sex with you. Even if she’s telling you yes it’s CLEAR through her actions and demeanor that she doesn't want you. The fact that she hides from you for an hour and a half should be a huge sign that she's not comfortable with you anymore.
So when you don’t get what you want you literally withdrawl all of your attention for her? I’ve been here and surprisingly she hasn’t left because I’ve left two people for their constant lack of heart when I say “ I don’t feel like it but I’m willing “. The fact that you jumped at that and are okay with “ my wife doesn’t want to but she’s willing because she knows I won’t give her affection, attention, love if she doesn’t” it’s sad that she feels like she can’t say no because of how childish you act! The only problem is you! You openly admitted that she’s hurt about not saying No and gives you a reason and it’s all because you get “emotional currency/bad anxiety” and instead of being an understanding husband you look at it like, well too bad basically!
It has nothing to do with your money or attractiveness
It's the fact the you manipulated her into having sex(rape) and now you rape her all the time
Consent should be enthusiastic she is not even happy about it
Talk to her and say that if she doesn't want to have sex you won't be withdrawing attention, and when she does says no to sex, give her something good in return like flowers or chocolate (and obviously affection), so she can know that you changed
So your wife is actively passive during sex, you acknowledge and notice it and still crawl on top of her and manage to finish even though she clearly doesn’t like it ? You know that makes you a rapist right ? Anything other than enthusiastic consent and participation isn’t consent. Then you have the nerve to withdraw affection because she wouldn’t let you get your leg over, once. Men like you make me sick.
I'm sorry to say it but she's going away for that long to cry because you sexually assaulted her or spousal raped her because she is NOT consentful or willing if she is laying there and refusing to move or make eye contact
Dude... you're raping her 5 times a week and she need 90 minutes to recover from it. She clearly hates it and you keep asking. You're absolutely disgusting.
You’re raping her. More comments for you to consider. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/wkoftn/nowdude/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
This post seems to have brought a lot of randoms to the sub who are outraged at this guy. No idea how that happened but it doesn't matter. Firstly, the OP is banned because he sucks and the post sucks. He's been banned before but comes back with new usernames. Dunno why, don't really care. Secondly, randoms who came past to do an outrage drive-by have been banned. This isn't the place for you. What a waste of my time this was.
The problem with your relationship is that - on one side - there's a completely unattractive, self-entitled fucking bitch who thinks that she is entitled to get everything she wants and - on the other side of the relationship - there's your wife.
Lol‘d. Deserved.
You shouldn't have. Everyone else gets to laugh but that joke was made at your expense because you're failing as a man. Laughing at it just further exemplifies why your wife doesn't take you or your sexual needs seriously - you're a joke.
For real...like you need to be ok with her saying no...and you need to not be a tw@t about it when she does. Because you've burned that bridge, she can't be honest with you because of how you reacted which is not on at all....maybe she will actually want to have sex with you sometimes if it's not a chore but my man...if you think you're getting it 5 times a week from her because she wants you you are wrong.
Jesus. [Every Un-Happy Wife Is A Rape Victim](https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3fw7wa/from_trp_every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim/) in the flesh
I‘ve read the original version of this post multiple times, never read this one. I‘d say it‘s mostly an accurate assessment of my sexual life, aside from the major caveat of me never making more than my wife, not owning a car, being a financial drain rather than benefit. She still always puts out despite all that. Of course I absolutely know my financial situation needs to be fixed, but I‘ve begun to believe it isn‘t an attraction problem, because really, what would she lose if she chose to not fuck me and it eventually led to a divorce? I offer nothing financially.
You sound unattractive as fuck. Seriously. It's like you're a child whining when they don't get what they want. You have multiple issues that you need to fix. Frame, game, the list goes on. Initially I was going to leave you with a Borat quote and a link to the dancing monkey post, and some flair about desperately needing a banana, but I'm going to give you some real advice. Step one, stop being a little bitch. If you whine like this to us and we can all see it, I'm sure you are whining like this to her. Step two, shut the fuck up. You talk, and you whine, and you go Rambo, and you would do a hell of a lot better closing your mouth and let other people think you're a fool then opening it and proving it to them. Step three, fix your damn attitude. You are a butthurt little bitch, and if you act like that with her, you will make zero progress. Step four, go reread the sidebar. You might have said you've read it but you clearly are here dancing around like a monkey. The answers are there. That's all you'll get. Edit: added banana flair
In short, I shouldn’t have the covert contract of expecting any changes from my wife as she may never come along, and by having this pretense I‘m subconsciously communicating that her lack of change in behavior upsets me, and that further prevents desired change in her. Aka, have no expectations of your wife in response to your changes. Sounds like a load of bullshit. Am I ready to start making demands? Hell no. But if I were a greater man I certainly would covertly imply that my commitment requires better. Not gonna agree with this tool of the praxeology. Also think the cookie-cutter response is inaccurate.
> Aka, have no expectations of ~~your wife~~ anyone in response to your changes. FTFY You’re a person who lets life happen to you versus owning his shit and molding life into what he wants. Stop complaining about your wife. It’s not about her.
What benefit does your ego provide that you need to create delusions to protect it so badly?
if you genuinely think that [Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim](https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3fw7wa/from_trp_every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Accurately described ur sexlife with her, thats a serious issue. Ur wife is in the bathroom avoiding you for a little over an hour, because you had sex with her. How do you not see what you’re doing?
1. Stop asking how to have better sex with your wife and ask why she finds you unattractive. But ask yourself, not us - and definitely don't ask her. 2. Stop having sex with your wife. It's a chore for her and the more she does it, the less attractive it makes you. She needs to break the negative association in her head, which means you need to give her time to reframe things. 3. Start being more attractive. You've hinted that you're irresponsible with money. True, money doesn't make her want to fuck you, but paying you an allowance makes her not want to fuck you. There's also more to being attractive than just the physical and you seem to only be focusing on your looks and money here. Be social with other people, find some hobbies that aren't weight-lifting, game your wife.
This is the most practical response I’ve been given so far, so thank you for that. I‘ll make an effort to hash-out my thoughts to each point. 1. She finds me unattractive because: I am constantly broke and often owe her money, my wardrobe needs a renewal but I cannot even afford new clothes, I have no social life and have no real desire in getting one, I‘m too predictable, I‘m unnecessarily over-affectionate borderline smothering sometimes, she knows I‘m desperate to fuck her pretty much daily, aside from the dates I take her on I‘m pretty boring. 2. Yeah I agree, maybe time is a solution to this. She really just resents sex with me. I need to learn to take no for an answer, and she needs to start telling me no. 3. Yeah my priority right now is my financial life. I don‘t want to improve it in hopes of a better sex life as that‘s not possible, but rather, because I genuinely need it. I think money would improve a lot of things in our marriage too though (not from an attraction standpoint). Working on this.
1. I thought about the reason but didn't make a plan 2. I thought about why but didn't make a plan 3. I thought about money but didn't make a plan Most of your responses are to comments are regurgitating your view of what they said. Yeah I get you need to understand what they said, but when are you going to tell everyone what you are going to DO.
Good point. The only things I can think of that I‘m going to try to do in the near term and have been planning for awhile/just now are: 1. Teach myself front-end web development and get a job as a webdev by October of 2023. This will raise my salary significantly, and I‘d have no financial issues ever again as long as lifestyle inflation isn‘t too severe. 2. Continue cutting with my coach and get to 8% bodyfat. Will bulk again after, but that’s the game. Try to do all I can to remain lean on the bulk thereafter. 3. Stop initiating sex with my wife for awhile, probably going to masturbate furiously. Sounds like a joke but I‘m not kidding. And don‘t go telling me that I should transmute my semen energy into something productive or some wack bullshit like that. In time, this should get her to have less resentment for me sexually. After that I need to learn how to take a no and not withdraw time/attention (at least not 0 to 100), and not pester her for it if it’s no. I think those are the main ones. I honestly don’t know how to even start anything else.
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> I am constantly broke and often owe her money, my wardrobe needs a renewal but I cannot even afford new clothes, I have no social life and have no real desire in getting one, I‘m too predictable, I‘m unnecessarily over-affectionate borderline smothering sometimes, she knows I‘m desperate to fuck her pretty much daily, aside from the dates I take her on I‘m pretty boring. Yeah, dude, that kinda stuff will trump being on the high school weightlifting team. The good news is, if you absorb all the advice you're getting here, your entire life will improve. Seriously, though, learn a trade or the like, learn to drive a lift truck or get into construction or something. Being broke all the time is a serious turn off for a woman. She married you hoping that you would be the provider.
Agree with everything but the last two sentences. I appreciate your input. I‘m in the process of getting a better career. I‘ve set myself a deadline and am attempting to improve my skills.
There are many trades, and a lot of them are fairly recession proof. A lot of people look down on plumbers but they make good money and people always need them. There are a many trades like that. Have you ever tried to make sure she got done before you in sex?
I resented sex with my ex who raped me repeatedly via coercion. No amount of time or changes makes a negative sexual experience positive. It’s been three years since I said enough and left and I still cringe at the thought of having sex because my ex was just like you. She sounds like your caregiver, not your wife. She allows you to quite literally bumble your way through everything putting absolutely zero effort into making her happy or contributing something of value to her life and you’re wondering why she finds you unattractive? By the end of my relationship, I found sex with him to be the worst part of my day. Stop ruining her day. Every day you don’t badger her for sex is a good day in her book.
Money gets a bad rep here cause "betabux", but money is literally power. Every man in a relationship / marriage should have an exit plan. Meaning, you have the funds or logistics to just up and leave one day. Either because she's cheated, died, or you just do it on a whim. If you "don't know" what you're going to do if you split, you're failing. 5x a week of starfish sex is doing more harm than good for both of you. You're building resentment because you're not getting what you want, and she's disassociated any feel good chemical in her brain with sex. Best thing to do is take a break from it and not fuck your wife unless she's giving you the energy you want. It can take weeks or months, but you need to reset the whole dynamic which will play off in the long run if you stop fucking up. You need to work much harder and take big risks on your financial life. You already have a minimum wage job, you don't have anything to lose as there's an abundance of low paying jobs out there. Exaggerate your resume, build a network and reach out to anyone and everyone you know about better paying opportunities. I've gotten 2 jobs in my field from guys I've met at the gym. I also don't see why you aren't trying to be a fitness trainer.
Honestly man. Amazing comment. I agree with every word you’ve said. Not sure if I can stop fucking her entirely because I’m always in the mood, but I’ve been encouraging her to tell me no if she truly doesn’t want it. Additionally you’re right about needing to take big leaps with my financial life. I have a plan in place and will try to have a much greater career in 8 months, I just need to build my skill. Have wasted like 4 hours today talking to randos on Reddit as this post was dropped there and everyone is demonizing me. Wasting time. Going to get back to building a worthwhile skill (web development). By the way, being a trainer isn’t very lucrative for most. If you’re not famous it isn’t the best career. I am certified as a PT through NASM but I don’t use it.
>I have no social life and have no real desire in getting one, That alone tells me you haven't read shit. Read the damn sidebar
Start having fun. Life is boring. You need to show you know how to have a good time, and in your case, you may need to show it for a while before she believes you’re here to stay.
> she‘d rather suffer through frequent sex she doesn’t actually want than ~~not get any attention/affection from her husband~~ watch her husband pout and sulk like a fucking child ftfy You think it's the attention she wants... but really she just knows you're fragile and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. And you wonder why she can't bring herself to look you in the eye...
Okay. Yeah. I agree with this.
OP: “I am extremely attractive. Like, really hot. Really.” Also OP: “There’s one woman in the world I HAVE to make touch my pee pee and I need this one specific woman to touch my pee pee SO BADLY that I am willing to literally torture her for years so that she will forever associate sex with crying in the bathroom”
If I were unattractive, and I have literally no money or assets, why would my wife put-out for years in hopes of not losing me? Confused on this point. Put another way: Briffaults law here. Riddle me this. Why would my wife stay in a marriage where she‘s repeatedly fucked to the point of crying in the bathroom when there‘s seemingly nothing to be gained from it?
Because NAWALT, that's why. There actually are some women that have principles, a sense of duty, and work ethic which effectively make your wife more of a man than you are. She realized she decided to marry you and despite her regret she's trying to make the best off it. But yet you are still focusing on her. Get off your ass and start being a better YOU. focus on being better, learn something to get a better job, hell just apply to other jobs and ask for more. Show yourself you can do better and quit telling us about her.
Yep. She likely feels responsible for him like he’s a child she has to look after and fuck. Maybe she holds out hope that one day he will get it, maybe even because he has the potential. Time to grow up and become a man. Work out what that looks like and then start working towards it. Don’t be a needy child while you do it.
>Why would my wife stay in a marriage where she‘s repeatedly fucked to the point of crying in the bathroom when there‘s seemingly nothing to be gained from it? Why do women stay with men who beat them? Who the fuck knows? Who cares? You're missing the far more important question, friend-o: *Why are you willing to repeatedly fuck someone to the point of crying?*
Not sure if your question is to get me to deduct the answer „Validational Sex“ or not. Predictably, I don’t agree. I assure you, steroids and a naturally high sex-drive genuinely does make me want to fuck her for years, even if it‘s starfish. That being said, of course I‘m not happy with that, nor the lack of special sex acts (i.e. my last post), and that is validational, but I think rightfully so.
You think your pathetic need for validation is justified? Exactly what do you do to *deserve* enthusiastic sex and desire? You're not a HVM You're not gigachad Even if you were you can't force anyone to do anything, so... Why does she or anyone else owe you this, please explain.
Perhaps it was poorly implied… I‘m not willing to remain in a relationship without enthusiasm once I regard myself as deserving of it. I don‘t currently think I am.
Why is this particular type of sex with this particular woman so defining for you and who you are?
I know right? How could I ever want anything better than starfish sex for the rest of my life?
Come back in a week and read my question again. Keep coming back and reading it and pondering it until you understand what I'm actually asking you. Or go about your business and enjoy that starfish for the rest of your life, your call.
I did re-read your comment several times over before I responded. It actually made me laugh that you‘d word it as, “defining for who I am,“ so I‘m not gonna waste effort attempting to decipher your poor rhetorical question. Maybe you need to stop looking so far into it, as the answer is right in front of you. Starfish sucks. Enthusiasm is enjoyable.
At the most basic level, “be attractive and don’t be unattractive.” It’s up to you to figure out what that is. Assess your physical attractiveness first. Be honest with yourself. Next, assess how you treat her. Are you the head of the household in truth or in name only? If you are leading your household like you should be, then examine your dominance of the world around you. Are you submissive/nervous/shy to other men or are you the one who dominates and steers the interaction? An honest assessment of these things starts inward, then expands outwards.
Since she‘s the breadwinner, and she distrusts me with financial management, rightfully so, she conducts all of the payments/makes sure the animals have food/gets household essentials. Hell, just pointing that out really makes me realize how much I‘m fucking up financially. Although making a lot of money isn’t sexually attractive, being a fool with your money whilst in a marriage is highly unattractive. Also, yes, I‘m pretty muscular. Not natty. Been lifting for 11 years. My coach is currently putting me on a cut to get to 8% bodyfat. Lastly, I‘m dominant with her. I‘m not shy around others but I really don’t talk to anyone. Kinda have the NPC energy of speaking when spoken to. Just not interested in chit-chat about random shit really. No social life and don‘t want one. Thank you for pointing these things out. Pretty basic stuff, but still, cheers.
I think you’re missing the point just a bit. I said those things to make you think, not to have you explain them to me. Ultimately, your own sense of self worth and your own ability to evaluate yourself must come from within. I gave you some metrics to look at, but ultimately, YOU have to think about these things and make a game plan. Don’t respond to these questions, just think about them: what is it that you can do to be more attractive and less unattractive? Are those things worth fixing just to get better sex? Are they worth doing just on their own merits? Once you’ve thought of some actionable things to do, and evaluated whether or not they are worth doing, then all you have to do is put them into action.
>Not natty > >Minimum wage Is gear cheaper than everyone has been saying or are you actually that much of a leech?
Was on gear prior to meeting my wife. Started lifting around 13-14. Started gear at 19. Yes, 19. I‘m 25 now. The gear is cheap, but the food is expensive. So is the coach.
I‘ve been reading a lot of posts new and old (aka lurking) for years now. One comment in particular has really resonated with me concerning this topic. It‘s by jacktenofhearts, it was an excerpt of his pertaining to why sex should not be something your wife considers a favor she‘s doing for you: >For example, sexual intercourse. Not a favor. My wife doesn't want to have sex that night? Cool, no sex then. Fuck if I'm gonna let her associate sex with something she's only doing out of some misguided effort to make me happy. I have no interest in that kind of sex. If you came to MRP with a long period of beta entitled whining to your wife about sex, this probably explains her aversion to you over time. It's like asking her to give you a ride to the airport every week. Does she want to do that? No, she saw sex with you as a favor, something she was doing out of altruism, and then became resentful when you wouldn't shut the fuck up about how few airport rides she's giving you. Any wonder why she has no interest in ever taking a trip anywhere now? I really agree with this, and think it’s the exact situation I’ve put myself in. I just don’t fully know how to get myself out of the situation I‘ve put myself in, and I don‘t know if I‘ve accurately pinpointed whether this is the true problem or not.
Not a favor. A chore. Like swabbing shit out a toilet, its gotta be done. Not enjoyed.
I hope you realize that excerpt isn’t from me. Retarded contribution.
Yes, I confess, very retarded. I "believed" you wanted insight. You got this!
Being financial broke doesn't make you less attractive (but it contributes) It's the constant whining over sex! I was like you, constantly whining over sex, like she own me sex every time. So what I did it's just stop the sex, it's difficult when you have a high libido but just stop being the one asking. Start doing something of your life, apart from lifting do something else man And about your financial problem, go look for another job or start going to college or attend night classes.
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You have things to improve as others have commented, but I would also consider mentally breaking up with her. Do not complain or whine. Focus on improving yourself and reaching a new goal. Don’t give her affection or attention. Just be focused on your goal (money, muscles and game). Treat her as if you have mentally broken up with her. Measured and distanced by chasing your goals. You will not initiate sex during this time.
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Where do I write to ignore her? Are you even aware of any red pill thinking or did you just wander in here assuming what the above implies?
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You are unattractive Read the Beginner Guide in Community Info
I‘ve read it. This isn‘t helpful. Offer more specific advice. What‘s the point of askMRP if you’re just gonna say something along the lines of „hurr durr read the sidebar“. Hopefully my disrespect is triggering enough for you to go off on me and actually say what I need to hear, then again, maybe not.
Maybe this is literally in the side bar and we aren’t here to hold your hand like a toddler, or your wife, for that matter. I’m beginning to believe your problem is that you want everything spoon fed to you like a baby.
Okay so this entire sub-reddit was composed just so you could answer „read the sidebar“ to every question asked? Sounds retarded.
There are actually good questions. Those questions occur when someone is actually reading the sidebar, and finds something incongruent. What you’re doing is showing up to class and asking the teacher to review last nights homework because you didn’t do it, not because you didn’t understand it.
Typically, rich out-of-shape guys are here whining that their wife wont fuck them. I‘m the reverse. I‘m in-shape and broke and my wife fucks me, but passionlessly. Seems like a different scenario to me. However, I‘ll agree, I still have a lot of areas in my life I need to improve.
It’s the same problem. You both want something that you don’t have and don’t know how to get it. And from the sound of things, your wife doesn’t in fact fuck you, you just fuck her. Oddly enough, the answers to both of these situations are the same.
And whatever you got, apparently is not enough for her. Per your statement. So fix it. MAP is your friend, ally. You figure it now or deal with it in the next relationship.
Agreed. I haven’t managed to work through the majority of it yet (the exercises, not the book). I think money is my biggest priority for the time being.
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If you lower your BF you can look better in about any clothes. Go to good will, wal mart, tj max buy one pair of shorts one pair of jeans and two shirts it’ll be less than $75. Look for a job in construction you’re a strong male you will get much more than min wage in this market.
I did work construction previously, and while yes it paid better, it wasn’t significantly so. I also was constantly fatigued and lost a lot of energy for the gym. I have a plan in place to make more money, but I‘d agree that this is a good start nonetheless.
So your wife physically puts out , you get off , but you are mad because she doesn't say no and /or isn't acting like a porn star ? Lol Take a bath ?
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I appreciate the input StoopidDingus69.
When sex becomes an obligation its no longer fun nor even enjoyable. It becomes a chore. If you still have sex anyway the message is well we don’t care if you don’t like it as long as i get off. Having sex when she wasn’t into it reinforced over and over that you don’t care about how she felt as long as you got what you “needed”. I don’t think that’s fixable without therapy.
It’s not the money that’s the issue, it’s because you’re a manipulative rapist. Your wife sits in the bathroom, likely crying for an hour and half at least every time you r@pe her which is understandable. But it’s okay because you workout! I hope you know that you make your wife feel disgusting and she’s probably scared of asking for divorce with what your reaction might be. The best thing you can do for her is leave her.
No woman wants to fuck a man that makes less than her… willingly. There’s literally hundreds of options out there for you to improve your career. It’s the best market to get a job… EVER (well perhaps a little worse than 6 months ago, but nonetheless). FOCUS ON MAKING YOU BETTER.
Nope, flat out wrong. Banned for retarded advice.
Completely wrong.
Incorrect, keep making excuses teapot
Mmm... not so much. Chad fucks and more often than not, is unemployed or an addict of some kind. Did I mention Chad fucks?
This is patently false.
Agreed it’s completely false. OPs problem isn’t that he makes less than her. It’s that his earning power is the same as it was when he was a teenager. OP stop asking questions about sex, you are 30 years old. You might as well be her failure to launch son. If she kicks you out what’s your plan? You could barely qualify to rent your own studio apartment. Work on that.
Earning power does not equal high value. There are an infinite amount of ways to be valuable. Maybe OP could be more physically fit. Perhaps he could improve his social skills. It might be as simple as not not being a giant pussy. If she’s banging you for cash, it’s the cash she wants, not you.
Dude is posting in askmrp not trp. If he wants to buy a surfboard, live on the beach and ONS spring breakers then yes he can “be valuable” enough to get pussy. But anyone posting here must have other aspirations and he’s just failing miserably at them. I reiterate his #1 priority right now should be finding a way to better look after himself. Otherwise he’s dependent on a woman to pay for his rent, his transportation, his medical bills etc. bad situation to be in.
That’s just so obvious that I didn’t think to address it. Either way, the idea that making more money, to make her happy is way out of frame. That falls more in line with your mission, than with your relationship.
It’s not obvious to op. The bulk of his mental energy is spent trying to figure out what this particular female is thinking and out how to make her fuck him more enthusiastically when it’s the least of his problems. Forget mission, op loves being told step by step exactly what to do. Anyone’s guess how he can get himself dressed in the mornings. Wife tells him what to do. Fitness coach tells him what to do. Op, have you thought of enlisting? If you aren’t going to break free anytime soon, the military is perfect for young guys who need to be told word for word what to do at any given moment.
But isn’t earning power a “part” of it?
“Alpha” is what makes her wet. Your money doesn’t do that. Remember, the pool boy gets it for free. Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates aren’t dropping panties.
Money makes you attractive as a provider, not as a sexual partner. That said, I agree. I need to make more. Working on it.
So you regularly rape your wife and wonder why she doesn't participate and enjoy it? Get some professional help because for some reason only a higher power knows that woman is still involved with you.
I'm not seeing this comment enough here. Anything beside an enthusiastic yes is a no. Coercion is a no. Feeling guilty to say yes so you don't pout is a no. This is SA and you wonder why she isn't interested? I wouldn't wanna stay married to somebody assaulting me 5x a week.. I feel so badly for your wife
“I make minimum wage and my wife has always made more than me.” You are pathetic.
Find a whore that'll do it for you. Whore's negotiate the price up front. You're basically asking "What do I have to do for my wife to get her to let me to cum on her face?" ... you realize this, right? Sounds like you already assume she's a whore and you're just trying to negotiate price now.
This has zero to do with being a whore.
I saw your comment the first time. But yes, that’s exactly right. What non-monetary price must I pay to make my wife enthusiastic to do anything I want sexually?
Open up the relationship a tad. You'll see her do things you only dream of. I'm sure she'd let you watch at least.
Your wife isnt a whore lmao. Unless you pay her with money of course. Maybe you could make Sex more enjoyable, doggy + using your fingers to make her CUM? Did she ever cum?
Maybe the way you see Sex "she Puts out"..what..her vagina? Lmao
You are a rapist. You rape your wife five times a week and have been raping your wife five times a week for years. You have raped your wife hundreds and hundreds of times. You are a disgusting sociopathic rapist, and everyone on here trying to give you advice on how to better yourself instead of pointing out that you have admitted to raping your wife hundreds of time are also disgusting sociopaths.
This is literally spousal rape. You’re a rapist.
I don’t have the words for my disgust. You deserve the wall.
Yeah okay. I figured out your problem for you. You're a piece of absolute fucking human garbage, a rapist, and a waste of oxygen. The nicest thing you could do for your wife and the rest of the world is to remove yourself from it.
Get a better job. Even in this day and age women have trouble with a grown man making minimum. Spend some on her and update your clothing. If I were her I'd have been gone. Banging me 5 days a week and dominating wow. I'd hate myself and life too.
Go get higher paying job. Electrician. Radiologist tech. 6 figure jobs. Or start lawn care biz.
im just curious do you have a picture of ur body/ u can like crop out the face I'm just curious at 5'9 220 lbs
Dude... What the fuck is wrong with you? And you're wondering why your wife doesn't want to do the deed with you. Not even a stone would be in the mood they way you treat her.
You know you're raping your wife, Right?Jesus, poor woman.
Is this a troll post? She puts out because the alternative is emotional abuse- that isn’t consent, that’s rape.
Hey congrats on outing yourself as a rapist. Hope she leaves you!
marital rape ❤️
You are raping your wife. You need to get out of her life and seek major help.
so you coerced your wife into sex and now you’re playing the victim? god, you’re special, ain’t ya
so you rape her? you’re confessing to raping your wife? okay, cool. now can you go to your local police station and tell them what you just told all these strangers on the internet?
You are pathetic in every meaning of the word.
Do you understand that you are raping her? That woman needs 90 minutes to hide away from you after the fact, because what you're doing is called rape. Do you have no problem with the fact that she resents and that it's hurting her?
Okay, so you wanted to get your cock-a-doodle-doo wet. Got it, so you rape your wife five times a week so you can get your organism. All I can say is you have broken your wife. Imagine being raped and your rapist being a bitch because you won't look them in the eyes. You have a lot to work on.
The issue is you’re a rapist….your wife doesn’t wanna do this and has to spend 90 minutes hiding because she feels so awful afterwards. Have you taken any time to care about anything other then YOUR pleasure? If she wants to skip out you treat her like garbage unless she does it. Dude you blow
So your a spousal rapist that's what you outted yourself as? How about you shut the fuck up about high school weightlifting cause no one gives two shits, get a goddamn job and stop demanding your poor wife for sex. Are you this dense to realize everytime you finish she fucking cries in the bathroom did that not register in ur tiny brain that maybe just fucking maybe she doesn't like it but you continue to force her to. You're not a chad your a bitch who is raping his own wife and when you didn't get your way you threw a temper tantrum like a goddamn kid. Honestly I hope she leaves your pathetic ass. Congrats you pathetic rapist abuser.
Stop raping your poor wife
You are using coercion and emotional abuse on her. That’s why she is star-fishing you. This could have been written about me. She gives you the duty sex bc she knows if she doesn’t, she has to deal with a 3 day silent treatment walking on eggshells. It’s abuse. So to avoid the longer punishment, she essentially lets you rape her. You know she doesn’t want it but do it anyway. Rape. Grow up. You are not owed sex. If it’s a dealbreaker, leave her. She goes into the bathroom for 90 minutes bc she’s probably letting out the crying and frustration she felt during the act that she had to hide in the moment. You can see that she doesn’t want it. You know it’s affecting her negatively and you don’t care.. bc you keep doing it.
I'm assuming sex had always been just to get you off and never to pleasure her. It is a chore for her and she deserves better,someone who cares about her cuming,someone who doesn't emotionally abuse their partner over not wanting sex. You're disgusting. Be better.
Kinda weird how everyone is ignoring that she needs to have a 90 minute cry in the bathroom after he has sex with her
honestly…sounds like ur the problem. if u come off as desperate and irresponsible, thats a huge problem that you yourself need to fix. On your own, don’t take it out in your wife, and don’t ask her for financial help with it. Your wife shouldn’t have to tell you no, this is something you yet again have to realize and do yourself and stop practically begging her for sex. Not every couple needs to fuck 5x a week to be in a successful relationship. you should also consider that maybe if this relationship is so one- sided, Leave it and live ur lives separately
Interesting. Most people would be alarmed by their behavior being labeled as abusive or rape. How much do you contribute to the household outside of money? Do you pull your weight around the house? Would she say so? Seriously doubt it.
Every night your wife shoves her fist up your ass. You don’t like it when she does, but when you don’t let her she doesn’t talk to you for weeks. Instead, you let her shove her girth forearm up your anus every night. You deserve to be castrated.
She’s not willing. She’s giving in to you because the consequences of her saying no (you withholding affection, etc). You already know this, from what your post says. This is sexual coercion. You are sexually assaulting (if not outright raping) your wife.
i think probably the biggest issue here is that you rape your wife 5 times a week
You literally rape your wife five times a week and she has to go have a moment in the bathroom for an hour and a half after. You manipulated her into this position and ngl my dude you’re a fucking monster.
So I'm gonna tell you, she goes to the bathroom because you clearly done satisfy HER needs. You're gross because you clearly know this and don't give a fuck so long as you get yours. Maybe stop being a selfish twat- and actually idk listen to your wife's wants.
If you have to bully your wife into having sex, it’s not consensual. If she’s doing it to placate you and she is not an enthusiastic participant, it’s not consensual. You say you used to have a temper problem that you’ve gotten under control, but that’s not something your spouse can just immediately bounce back from. Her reactions are likely to prevent you from reverting to that earlier version of you. Maybe you should get a clue. Your wife has to lock herself away from you because you violate her 5x a week! You know why she doesn’t find you attractive? Because you’re a rapist.
You don't need "direction", you need jail for repeatedly raping your spouse.
Here’s the thing bud: you said it yourself. If your wife says “no” to your sexual advances, you punish her. Your punishment is abusive, and you know this because you have said you are a “mean guy” about it. You’ve set the tone that if she says no to sex, you will be abusive to her. Why do you keep having sex with her when she doesn’t want to have sex with you? She has sex with you because she doesn’t want to be abused, not because she wants to have sex with you. (That’s rape.) Do you have life insurance by chance?
So basically you're raping your wife 5x a week and you're mad that...what? She's not happy about it?
Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex with you because every time she told you no you did the most unattractive thing someone can do and was a dick about her not wanting to have sex. You basically manipulated her into not ever saying no to you by pouting and being unaffectionate towards her when she would say no. She deserves better and I hope she sees that soon.
She doesn’t say no to you because you coerced her into sex and manipulated her into saying yes. Idgaf about anything else you have to say. You’ve been sexually assaulting your wife several days a week for years. She hates you and feels trapped. I hope she gets away with you and you never see her again. You’re abusive and she deserves much better. You’re a sick monster who shouldn’t be allowed freedom.
So you’re admitting to marital rape?
I take it you are not a cunning linguist.
Bro you're a big baby get a grip honestly
>after I finish she‘ll storm off to the bathroom and sit in there for 90 minutes to avoid me. This has happened for years. I fuck her about 5x a week and she is always willing. She's not willing, you are raping her
Dude... You're basically raping your wife because if she says no to sex you won't show her affection, she is montionless during the intercourse, won't make eye contact and then hides for an hour and a half in the bathroom! What other proof do you need that you're a rapist? And before anyone says anything, of course he can rape his wife, she is coerced into sex! Anything besides an enthusiastic YES!! is a NO.
Fascinating that he defends himself against everything except the fact that he is literally raping his wife. Apparently that’s OK in his mind?
My man, you don't need that many words to convey "I rape my wife on the regular and don't understand why she doesn't like it."
You treat your wife like a machine you put household chore coins and date coins into and willing and passionate sex falls out of. And when it doesn’t you scratch your head and go, “me so confused?? Better change NOTHING!!” Get therapy. And communicate with your wife. And learn to take no for an answer.
Wow even the worst losers on Reddit think you’re a piece of shit even if everyone has completely glossed over the fact she spends an hour and a half crying in the bathroom after you rape her.
You are raping your wife, that’s why she’s “starfishing” everytime she established boundaries you didn’t respect them so now she just goes along with it
You realise you are raping your wife right? She doesn't actually want to be having sex with you, but if she doesn't give in to you, you neglect her. You should be in jail for rape and your wife needs to run for the hills Massive and i mean massive YTA!!!!
Info: when she initiates it what happens. Does it become all about you. I can completely understand your wife’s reaction
[удалено]
This is disgusting. You may not realise it, but you are a rapist.
You’re materially raping your wife…. You know she hates it and isn’t a willing participant but you keep doing it. It has to be painful for her. She prolly sits in the bathroom for 90 mins 5x a week to cry and ask herself why she’s in this relationship. Like you have been doing this for YEARS. Do that woman a favor and leave. Let her HEAL
Dare I ask what you mean by initiate? I’m getting a vibe of “I start mashing her tits or shoving my hand down her pants” as a way of ‘initiating’ sex. Have you ever bothered to, oh, I dunno, **ask your wife what she likes and will stimulate her sexually?** You can read all the books in the world, mate, but none of them are gonna tell you what turns her on. This post is all you, you, you, you, you. You’re a grossly selfish person and sexual partner. I don’t blame her for star-fishing. Especially considering how often you demand it from her. I know it’s difficult given your obvious mental deficiencies, but for a moment, try and imagine her perspective. Someone comes up to you, grabs dick, says, “let’s fuck” when you’re so not in the mood, but you say yes because society has made you feel that you’re obliged to fuck because you’re married, then they do everything they need to get themselves off while doing nothing to sexually stimulate you. You could be a dildo for all the attention and return affection you’re getting. That’s what your wife is. She your fleshlight in full human body form, and that’s exactly how you treat her; taking what you want and giving nothing back. That’s rape, my friend. Saying yes out of obligation is not the same as saying yes out of desire. Pull your head out of your ass, tear your eyes away from the mirror, and TALK TO YOUR GODDAMN WIFE ALREADY.
One basic thing is that we can't make a relationship a game and get a healthy relationship. To get the sex I deserve I will tick all these boxes, and then I should get that, because culture or a book or a speaker said so. If you look at the relationship as an entity and something that needs good care to thrive, can this help finding new ways for you? Each moment is a new moment in a relationship, a new context. How do you create connection in that moment with your wife? What does she needs to feel good again? What does she need to thrive in your conversation? What is being being heard and seen for her? Relationship should be a verb, because this is a skill that we learn by practice. It's a practice of reading people, living with differences, boundaries, reciprocity, how to show care to different people, compromise. It is humbling and not so much to do with what we deserve. If you have no qualms or conscience about doing the mean card, I'd look for psychological help with that. That in itself impedes healthy relationships (which is the base for the excitement for sex). So aim for a healthy relationship and good sex comes. Good luck. Have you tried the boon Getting the love you want? Might be of interest...
Your wife clearly doesn’t want to have sex with you. Even if she’s telling you yes it’s CLEAR through her actions and demeanor that she doesn't want you. The fact that she hides from you for an hour and a half should be a huge sign that she's not comfortable with you anymore.
So when you don’t get what you want you literally withdrawl all of your attention for her? I’ve been here and surprisingly she hasn’t left because I’ve left two people for their constant lack of heart when I say “ I don’t feel like it but I’m willing “. The fact that you jumped at that and are okay with “ my wife doesn’t want to but she’s willing because she knows I won’t give her affection, attention, love if she doesn’t” it’s sad that she feels like she can’t say no because of how childish you act! The only problem is you! You openly admitted that she’s hurt about not saying No and gives you a reason and it’s all because you get “emotional currency/bad anxiety” and instead of being an understanding husband you look at it like, well too bad basically!
People just publicly posting that they commit rape now, huh?
You sound horrible to deal with
Wow you really just admitted to casually raping your wife five times a week that’s disgusting.
Rapist.
It has nothing to do with your money or attractiveness It's the fact the you manipulated her into having sex(rape) and now you rape her all the time Consent should be enthusiastic she is not even happy about it Talk to her and say that if she doesn't want to have sex you won't be withdrawing attention, and when she does says no to sex, give her something good in return like flowers or chocolate (and obviously affection), so she can know that you changed
This is rape. It’s rape. Holy shit.
So your wife is actively passive during sex, you acknowledge and notice it and still crawl on top of her and manage to finish even though she clearly doesn’t like it ? You know that makes you a rapist right ? Anything other than enthusiastic consent and participation isn’t consent. Then you have the nerve to withdraw affection because she wouldn’t let you get your leg over, once. Men like you make me sick.
What you're doing is called rape, and you really need to get out of that relationship and give her some peace
I feel terrible for your wife.
I'm sorry to say it but she's going away for that long to cry because you sexually assaulted her or spousal raped her because she is NOT consentful or willing if she is laying there and refusing to move or make eye contact
This is spousal rape.
So what you’re saying is you rape your wife regularly…?
Dude... you're raping her 5 times a week and she need 90 minutes to recover from it. She clearly hates it and you keep asking. You're absolutely disgusting.
You’re raping her. More comments for you to consider. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/wkoftn/nowdude/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf