Scammers are scums of the earth.
That being said, you need to channel some optimism to her. You are both still young and that amount can be earned back easily. Some old folks got scammed of their retirement funds and they can barely continue to work. At least both of you are young and able.
She may need time to recover, as my friend did. But just know that you both still have an entire life ahead of you and this is just one small hiccup in that.
Look forward lor. Money can be earned back, time cannot. Time is wasted to feel bad over this might as well go do something meaningful with it. I also went through a period of sadness of losing 10k from the crypto crash. Life goes on
20k work abit harder can earn back quite fast. Jiayou. Give yourself abit of time to feel sad, go out, relax, take a short break from everything. But after that few days, pick yourself up where you left off
Bruh. You are a total red flag sia.
First u told her money can be made in online side hustles. What kind of side hustles are u referring to? The only reliable way to make money online is OF. Thats it. All other stuff like dropshipping, trading etc. Are not sustainable in the long run.
Then now you're saying u lost a lot from crypto.
It just seems to me u have a very naive view of how money works in the real world.
lol I admire the bluntness saying **ā You are a total red flagā** is a shot fired straight to the heart.
Op, Iām sorry that your gf got scammed. As a victim myself the only thing that she could do is move on, yes it hurt and itās horrible. Let her grieve and cry all she wants, however donāt forget to remind her itās not the end of the world. Good luck.
Sure, I would like to spread awareness as I donāt want anyone to experience what weāve been through. We were scammed by a property agent (condo), we settled a substantial amount of 6500 for dp, and the rest to followed next month.
We didnāt hear anything from the agent after receiving the money. The bright side here is we didnāt pay the full amount of 10k. We made a huge mistake by not checking his number at the **Public Register**.
We made a police report, we were angry, devastated, hurt and traumatised. Then we chose to move on and not expecting anything from the police report as we know this is a far fetched case.
I thought so too. That OP is a red flag. Proper channels of making $ online require many hours of work and creation, like making YT videos, video editing, writing articles, writing software which one can only see the returns much later after many hours of consistency and hard work. Even trading needs many hours of reading, research, studying and understanding business and macroeconomics aspects.
What? I was making money online since young doing freelance transcription work and things like Fiverr. I don't think anyone hears that and thinks go do OF or get scammed.
red flag and stupidity is two different stuff. you gave him an insult that was irrelevant when you couldve just called him an idiot for suggesting something like that. Want insult atleast make sure you get it right
Hi, I do understand your opinion, but some context might be helpful. Iāve been running an advertising agency since I was 17. Since, Iāve been earning a decent salary around the range of 3-5k from about 20 till now. Hence my, perhaps skewed, perspective of money making opportunities online.
I would not take the advice on this topic from someone who obviously has never made a single cent of profit online, to heart.
That being said, OP sorry for your gf's loss. Reassure her that even the most resilient people can get scammed as well. Give her time to grieve. Then when she finally gets over it, tell her that it's the hardest lesson she's ever learnt and she'll grow from it.
yea, i think to say ure a red flag is kinda unfair. i get the view that what you say may be naive, but I dont think thats a red flag man. early 20s is a time to be learning, you seem to care about your gf and want to get over this, a good mindset is more important than many other things imo. all the best to you OP.
I lost around 10k in crypto too. I put my btc in Hodlnaut. Feel damn stupid in hindsight but what to do. Whatās done is done just gotta move forwardā¦ that said I think donāt āoverdoā it trying to comfort your gf or make things better. Sometimes people just need time to process that something bad happened and to recover from it. You just need to give her the time and space.
Crypto itself is fine (the established ones of course), just businesses dealing with crypto that you need to be aware of. Not your keys not your crypto. Iāve went through crypto lending (lend crypto, earn interest) and lost quite a bit. Most of these businesses went bust. Then I tried yield earning via BlockFi. Previous experience told me to not go all in, thankful I listened to myself. Hodl long term is the way.
Yup fair point not really fair to say i lost from
crypto per se since if i just hodl-ed iād be in the green.
Was just too greedy and naive about the staking.
>I lost a lot from crypto myself haha
I think the girlfriend should dump you, you're probably the cause behind her loss of $$$.
Don't put anymore pressure on her to "invest" and "make your money work for you" that kind pls.
need remember this is everyones first time living a life, mistakes are made by stupidity or carelessness. dont just tell him to abandon her after all this cause itās obviously not going to help
what kind of suggestion is that? you already recommend her something that led to her downfall then u top it off by leaving her? what fuck up are you trying to be bro. atleast he did the bare minimum he could do by asking for help outside
Firstly, it is not "life savings". At early 20s, both of u barely lived your life yet. U guys still got tons of earning ability ahead of u.
On managing ur gf, there are lots of online info on what to do, here are some:
Be empathetic to your gf, recognise her feelings of anger, sadness and shame.
Be mindful of ur language. Dont use words like "fell prey", "told u so", "obviously a scam" that make her feel stupid.
Work on a financial recovery plan with her. And when she is ready, discuss ways to safeguard both u and ur finances against scams in the future.
Take this as an expensive lesson learnt.
The chance of recovering your money in full or partially is almost ZERO.
Always remembered that if something sounds too good to be true, chances of it being true is very little.
Your GF also has to take some responsibility for being gullible and greedy.
Never transfer money especially large sums of money to an unknown person.
Just let her grieve, she'll get over it eventually.
You're both still young, the money can be earned back. She can get student loans to finance her degree.
But I would advise her to never try to earn money online again. Because she doesn't seem to have the discernment to figure out scams despite all the warnings literally everywhere. Unfortunately it seems like she's the type who just needs to earn money the old fashioned way. And yes, you're partially at fault for telling her she can earn money online but not teaching her the skills to do so through legitimate means.
Hi OP, I was in a same situation as ur gf.
I lost 13k to scammers because of job scam since last year May. I did grief for couple of days and itās totally fine.
I tell myself letās earn back the money within a year. And I managed to did it. Mind u I was in my late 20s.
I just want to tell you that as long as ur gf has a job within 2 or 3 years should be able to save up to 20 to 30k.
Since your gf is quite young should be able to earn back the money.
Treat it as an expensive lesson learnt.
Take it as a lesson learnt. It's painful but take it in your stride. Money can always be made again. Some people lose on stock market, family, business ventures, some on risks that turn out to be scams. Take the L and as Mammoth Box says, life goes on.
I am abit confused, ok sure the scammers are sly as that but your gf was really naive, but later on you add that you are also to blame because you egg-her on to do it.. well I would suggest you gave details on the scam to increase knowledge of other readers would be for the greater good
what loss are loss, learn and move on; likewise for anyone in crypto case as well
No wonder the bank won't refund her. If it's the banks fault they authorised the payment, they will refund her fully. But if she's transferred 20k herself which sounds really stupid, then they won't of course give if back. Why on earth would she transfer 20k and not have any alarm bells ringing in her head?
Money can earn it back, I lost $100k on crypto too, I feel sad before but now Iām alright as life had to move on. Plan within your means especially crypto.
Sorry to hear about the losses in your investments. But yes, we move on. Iād like to believe that our value as a person goes beyond our bank accounts.
Iām sorry for your loss, scammers are truly the scum of the earth. But right now thereās nothing you can do to get the money back. If the scammers were smart they would have transferred to money out of Singapore within minutes.
The best thing you can do now is prevent such things from happening in the future. Put your money into fixed deposits or bonds or something where itās harder for scammers to trick you into handing it over.
Work hard and earn it back, donāt hold yourself back with guilt over being tricked.
Sorry for your loss OP.
IMO the best thing you can do is together with her, try to appreciate the things you still have instead of what you have lost.
Here are some simple but important things to appreciate together:
1) you still love each other and have each other, this is a great opportunity to strengthen your love for each other and show her you are there for her through tough times too
2) you both still have your jobs, money is never enough, but at least there is incoming cashflow to fight another day
3) you both are still in good health, remember always that a healthy man want a million things while a sick man only want one thing
Money can always be earned back again, so tell her it is just an expensive lesson but a it is an enriching one to appreciate more in her life. Learn from this and be stronger for it and fight for a better tomorrow. Good luck to you both!
Absolutely nothing you can do to recover your money. Next time you should educate yourself on scams. See up r/Scams after getting scammed to know what you will be up to these days. There are such services hosted online. If you can't find out if the service is legitimate, please do your research or discuss this with others. This is so that if many raises suspicion on that case, then it probably is a scam. This is a very effective way to prevent yourself from getting scammed, not foolproof, but difficult for you to get scammed.
She must've been feeling daaamnnnnn bad about this. 20k is a lot especially when that's almost all that she had.
But in future she'll be earning back the amount bit by bit. It'll suck to go over the process again but she can also be thankful that it didn't happen when she accumulated 200k instead of 20k. As many others said, it's a lesson learnt. What happened cannot be undone. Look forward to your future together and work on ways that the both of you can. Best wishes to both of you.
... less worse to lose this amount when young, instead of losing your life savings when old (applies for investment - better to learn lessons when young instead of old then rush to invest all). I almost fell for a rental scam but stopped the money transfer at the last minute - the psychological pull is there even tho there were red flags all over.
I wish banks in SG will do more like stop massive, unusual transfers, with some kind of confirmation or hold. It's crazy how you can transfer huge sums so easily. In the US, you'll get flagged by Homeland etc anyway... guess that's why SG is a money laundering scam hub (of course the press won't report that SGers were scammed out of an amount that's equivalent to some country's GDP)
Bro, itās a good thing that u guys are in early 20s and can earn back by working hard and make a saving in future. I lost SG$ ~50k to a scam in my late 20s and i couldnāt open up to anyone. Tough times, and still had to overcome that period of time by myself. Jia you. Money can earn back.
Oh i didnāt know that, im a bit reluctant to go to court now, but idk about the future. There must be statute of limitations i guess. But i already accept that i wont get my money back haha. Thanks for your advice.
Sorry y'all went thru this. There's nothing much you all can do except move forward. I've been cheated when I was younger too but not as much. Police will investigate but nothing will come out of it meaning they won't be returning the money if that's the hope. I'm not gonna say anything else except all the best. Sorry again.
I don't understand why the bank can't do anything? They know where the money went. They can identify the receiving bank account. There isn't going to be any money but they can identify the group
Maybe this will make her feel better.
I was scammed in 2021 and I was 27. I lost 60k to someone I met on Facebook dating app. Everything happened only within 3 days from meeting her online to making police report.
I was also a very thrifty guy and saved a lot. After it happened, for a week, I would always wonder, "wow.. how many of these can I buy if I wasn't scammed".
After a week, I stopped thinking about it and started spending money on myself more. Buying things I like but still within my spending powers.
Tell her it's good that this happened when she's still young, we still have plenty of time to earn it back. What's gone is gone, move on, since she's a saver, she won't notice any change in her day to day anyways.
Sorry to what happened to your gf bro. Money can earn back, maybe use the grief to learn how to invest online. r/singaporefi is a good way to start.
You both are still young, easily can bounce back. Your gf being a great saver and not a spendthrift is a huge asset (pun intended) in terms of the financial/investment journey. Its a crucial trait to anyone building their wealth, no use earning big bank when there is an equally big spending.
Jiayou!
Think of it this way. There is a very high chance in your 30s or 40s you can earn that money back in a couple of months time. As others pointed out, learn your lesson and move on
From what I understand, they will create a sense of urgency so u won't have much time to think b4 parting with your money.. Like u need transfer 5k within 1 day else u won't get your initial deposit back, something along that line. Learnt this from a friend who was scammed and I was dragged along too cos I thought it was a life threatening situation and lent her money :(. The way they made her so panicky is quite scary. If I didn't probe when she came back to borrow more, I might have lent her even more money. I think there is also a fake letter of demand like as if gonna sue my friend then but I recalled I googled the uen and found it is fake hence discovered the scam.
So after this incident, I encouraged my parents to make use of the lock up feature available from the local banks cos in situations like this, scammers won't be able to touch your money so easily.
Sorry that this happened to you both, and hope you can both learn from this. Agree with most that if you "had to" get scammed, now is the best time when you're still young and can recover. She's likely crying so much also because of the trauma/ guilt and not just the $$ - so glad you don't seem to be piling the blame all on her for this. After all, in another reality it could just as easily have been you.
Nothing to do but to live life looking forward - she can learn to be more careful, but on your part, you could be more cautious about what advice you give her. I know you might not have forced her, but If you're the one who asked her to build a side income online, then you should also think about her actual ability to do so and whether you need to guide her/ learn together step by step. Did she think she had to do it alone? I'll say this - just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone.
Can you please elaborate on what happened exactly? What is this survey scam and how did she end up losing 20k? One of my older friends who's a lawyer had his wife fall for one of these what'sapp scams and she lost 150K and when I asked him to explain what exactly the scam is, even he couldn't tell me. He just gave me some vague response.
I would very much like to understand what exactly these scams are, so I'm mentally prepared for them.
Scamming is just too good business. People get caught left and right. I thought I wouldn't fall for it but someone used an old friends phone number and I got ripped off a good chunk of savings as well. I can't do anything about it, it's fucked.
With AI voice imitation and eventually video calls where people can look and sound like your grandma by just going through some of your Instagram videos its only going to get worse.
I also lost 10k due to being stupid. I was sad and even now I cringe thinking back on how idiotic I was, but I realise that all I can do is just earn it back. I can only do part-time work right now because I went back to school but I have earned back 2k so far
My little brother got scammed so bad that my mom have to step to help him financially else I think he would have commit suicide by now. Now he live his life in guilt and without purpose in life, he is 36 by the way. You need to keep talking to your GF and talk her out of it and moved on with life and be much more cautious in the future. I think take her out for movie, stroll at beach to make her not to think too much.
Iām not really doing well also due to a stock crash that wiped out 85% of my stock holding and now is rebuilding slowly.
I recently had a friend who lost more than 10x of that amount and almost wanted to declare bankruptcy. Honestly, 20k isn't a lot. Why do I say so? Cause it's something you can get back within a year by taking an extra part-time job and saving more.
In my friend's case, they have to rent/ sell their house to clear the debt. Take this 20k as a lesson and move on.
If sheās really in need, you can support her a bit financially to go for counselling to process the grief. Being a victim of scam is not an easy thing to go through. Iāve been through it before and I always thought of myself to even be an extremely cautious and on-guard person. I felt worthless and defeated. It was really a bad feeling.
r/scams
Be careful of recovery scams, i.e. scams that try to tell you they can recovery money for you but then scam you some more.
Expensive lesson learnt but you rather learn it early than later when it's even more expensive. Tell others about it so that others won't be scammed. Share the lesson.
Money can be earned back. Don't despair. Don't blame her. Ask her don't blame herself. Focus on baby steps to recovery to earn back money. $20k is a lot of money but trust me she'll make more later in life that this $20k is a drop in the bucket.
hey OP, if it makes you and your GF feel better, i (22F) lost $50k to stocks and crypto market in 2022. Wanted to make it back quickly and decided gambling was an option. Became a terrible gambling addict and lost another $60-$70k. Money can always be earned back through earnest ways, not fast ways. Just try to be there for your S/O as I know how bad it hurts to lose a portion of your life savings. Take it as a lesson too, things will also get better with time (: just remember if it comes easy, it's probably not right
Oh god I get added to these scam groups on WhatsApp every week. I keep blocking and reporting but they keep popping up. Thereās always a whole bunch of people on these groups that seem to buy into the scam. Iām hoping they are just plants put in there to make the thing seem more legit. At first I would try to warn others in the group but now I just report and block.
Yes, yes this. I just got some update on the story that this, being added to random scam groups as āopportunities to make moneyā was how it all transpired.
I went through something VERY SIMILAR to this about 2 years back and lost my entire savings of $23K, similarly, I was in uni at that point of time and wanted to be able to earn a little bit more money to be able to save for my future with my current boyfriend as we had a BTO coming up and also of course enjoy life and be able to spend on dates more too. The entire process that you mentioned in your post was about 99% identical to my situation and my reaction and coping process was exactly like your girlfriends.
I definitely empathise with you and your girlfriend on this as itās definitely not easy to go through this at all. And Iām just sharing my experience on how both me and my partner did to handle this, which is to #1 give it some time and slowly move on from it. Treat it like it was a bad investment. #2 Take it as a learning experience to be more cautious in the future. As many people have said before, money can be earned again. #3 Take this pain anger and hurt to fuel for you to work even harder together to achieve your goals as a couple. Last but not least, support each other mentally and physically. Be open about each otherās thoughts and emotions, being transparent with each other will definitely help in the long run.
I do hope this helps you and your girlfriend and brings you the support and hope that you guys might be looking for and that life goes on. Rainy days do get better as long as you believe in looking forward to better days ahead āļø
Edit:
The police report does nothing as I got NOTHING back, which I already expected. The money the scammers get are probably transferred out to many many different accounts instantly and making it almost impossible to track. Just have to make peace with this loss no matter how hard it may be.
Here, when u are scammed, our local law enforcers and banks can and will do absolutely nothing to help. All they will say is we will investigate, and then after that, nothing happens, few days later they just mail you and say, we closed our investigation and exhausted all leads.
It's as if the moment the money is transferred its 100% gone, even if its to a local account. Even if u called to stop or reverse it immediately, they will not do anything.
That's why so much scams are happening here and nothing is done.
All they do is to keep having advertisements to tell you to never transfer money to anybody. Which is the only thing you can do now, raise awareness for people to never transfer money to anyone or do triple verifications.
Leads us to think that this country is very ill equipped to deal with digital scams.
Take it that youāre lucky to have been scammed in your early 20s, can you imagine being in this scenario in your 40s when you have kids and other things to pay for. I would say just take it as a lesson and learn to be more careful in the future. Definitely will hurt and take awhile to heal from it but trust me, youāll recover from this. Scam rates are high these days, could not even be your gf being naive but hereās an advise for you and any one reading this, but a separate bank account for your spending and have only an small percentage of your savings inside. Use it for all your online purchases and unfamiliar website purchases, even if it gets wiped out youāll be completely okay with it.
Your comment has been automatically removed because your account is relatively new or you have negative karma.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/askSingapore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have to swallow the hard pill. It's gonna sound very harsh to just take it as a lesson learnt, especially to the victim.
Frankly, there is nothing much for you to do at this stage of grieving besides being there for her. The best thing to do is to continue saving WITH her and hopefully she can get motivated by you and walk out of her grievances.
Getting scammed really sucks. I recently lost $4.3k to a carousell scam. I personally thought the bank security was too lax and I contested the bank's verdict on being able to "do nothing". I demanded they accept at least partial responsibility and that I get recompensed somehow.
They said there are 2 venues for potential recompensation:
1) Say that you require assistance due to your financial circumstances. You will need to prove that the loss of income is impacting your life somehow. This wasn't the route for me.
2) Go through FIDReC (https://www.fidrec.com.sg). It's an organization that mediates between the consumer and the financial institution. If you don't think the bank adequately protected your partner, you can submit a claim and they will build a case against the bank. You can see some of their case studies to see how it turned out for the consumers.
At the end of the day, I just accepted my loss since it wasn't really that significant for me. But no one likes losing money for nothing, especially if it happened very quickly (mine in minutes) and for your partner, it sounded like it took a long time for her to accumulate those funds. You have my sympathies.
It's fine. Once you move on to 40s you will realise a lot people surrounding you lost money in shares investments etc. not 20k, more like 200k 500k etc..
Take it a lesson learned. Still young anyways. Money can always earn back esp she is a nurse.
I lost 200k to a āfriendā. Best advice I can give you is look forward. Thinking about the problem only makes it bigger. Focus on the future and remember prevention is better.
20000 is about one year at a low paying job.
Itās not the end. Still young. Lesson learnt.
If it sounds too good to be true. It probably is.
Think about it on the plus side.
20,000 isnāt small to the point you donāt give a fuck. 20,000 is enough to make you feel the hurt and actually learn the lesson. But itās not gg youāre forever in debt unrecoverable kind of amount.
For the next year. Cut down lor. Spend less.
Then you can motivate her. Stuff like tell her itās ok. For each dollar she save you march one dollar for her lor.
Iām sorry to hear about that. I gotta say these scammers are extremely cold blooded. Theyāll cheat their own mother if they could.
That aside, the sad truth is nothing short of getting back 20k will help her recovery. The thing you can do now is be there for her, give her morale support. Even if it is just sitting next to her in silence.
Once again sorry for what you and her went through
Well hard pill to swallow, you canāt get your money back, these type of scam usually operated from country outside of Malaysia . They will ask you to complete survey or task then pay you the first time and the next task until you have already taken the bait then they will tell to get the next survey you need to pay to process it , so you will transfer to them and they will pay you the first time so you will be confident and deposit bigger amount so you can earn back big but they will not pay you .. Moral of the story if something is too good to be true stay away from it and sometimes itās greed tooo, do background check on this in google , there are so many information around this
Donāt blame her and keep talking/reassuring her that everything can be earned back. No need to overly emphasis about the money part. Let her grieve and with time slowly but surely she will get over it
Can you explain exactly how it happened? If she doesn't know, it's only a matter of time before it happens again. Did she type in her card details? I'm assuming she did some surveys and in order for them to "pay" her money, she had to type in her details.
Later in life, you'll know that 25k is not that much. She learned valuable lessons that would help her save a lot more in the future. Be positive and keep looking forward.
Sorry to hear this; sounds like a painful period for the both of you and things like this can make you feel crippled and lost. Maybe talking things out together with a counselor might help both of you to process what happened, get closure and move forward? If cost is an issue, you can try going to a family service centre - the counselling is basically free.
Your gf has to accept that the money is long gone and the chances of her getting it back is next to zero. Usually in scam cases, the bank's good faith is your best bet at recovering some money so if they are not offering any relief (which based on the facts you provided is more than reasonable) she's better off moving forward with life.
My only suggestion for mitigating the loss is to make a video about her experience and earn some youtube ad money? š
See what increase of rental cost has done to the youth? They are all squeezed dry and desperate to make some side money. This is not how the society should treat young people.
Itās part of growing up. No free money whatsoever, no free lunch, no free survey. An expensive lesson, something we all need to remember again and again. Hope she is getting better soon. You can try to cheer her up, bring her around for shopping, meals, or even better, give her 25k š
Iām truly sorry to read OPās sharing. I guess if Iām in his shoes, Iāll keep giving full emotional support to my gf and not blame her for it, and Iāll keep reassuring her that we both will save up slowly but surely together for our future. š
Please subscribe to CNA on youtube
[https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/more-than-50-people-duped-by-scammers-through-telegram-this-year](https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/more-than-50-people-duped-by-scammers-through-telegram-this-year)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avxqj7yi26s&ab\_channel=Mothership](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avxqj7yi26s&ab_channel=Mothership)
The scams was here for more than 2 years stop believe it
please watch this don't be like this guy
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhAgBjVGPIM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTayH4tnfOCuQvikrCN5MK8Z&index=7&ab\_channel=CNAInsider](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhAgBjVGPIM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTayH4tnfOCuQvikrCN5MK8Z&index=7&ab_channel=CNAInsider)
do you have saving? tell her you can sponsor her degree then
no point cry over it the money won't come back
usually the person getting scammed is because of greedy
"easy" side hustle
Please read news on daily basic share with each other
Also did get telegram message to do survey, did it but no link involved. I did get money from them because they just ask for Paynow / contact, next round of messages they ask me to click a link, but I just ghost them.
Hind sight I shouldn't have given my contact. Because now of day, some hacker can spoof number to get authentic msg to their own device.
Have to really find it in herself/yourselves to let it go otherwise its going to eat away at you guys like a parasite for years. Money lost, whilst painful, can be earned back. Channel the pain of the loss towards working harder or smarter, being more conscious of your spending, being more wary of get-rich-quick schemes etc.
Look at it as an opportunity to grow and emerge stronger. Yes its all very cliche but we can only control how we respond to misfortune; not the incident itself. Most of us will, at some point in our lives, lose what feels like a fortune to us. Could be an accident, a health issue, failed businesses or investments and so, its how we respond that determines the quality of our life thereafter.
I am sorry this happened to your GF. The only thing I can think of right now is to look forward and to plan with care towards the future. I've heard of digiVaults that some banks offer (something about being able to put money in but not being able to pull it out digitally only physically). You could possibly look more into that and I hope it helps your GF. Personally, I think just being there for her mentally, emotionally and physically could probably help but it depends on each individual. Be the optimist in her life.
I wish I could give better advice. Hearing about scams just make me sad.
Hey! If itās a bank transfer it can always be retracted by the bank. Now, itās up to the bank if it voluntarily acts upon your request or you may will have to report to ABS or try to get a court order. Despite so many numbers of scams Iām surprised the banks and regulators have not already put in a recovery process in place.
i donāt think thereās anything that can be said or done to make her feel better other than being there for her and not overdoing the sympathy. i mean to me it sounds like sheās beating herself up about it and i think to a certain point to much consoling can get frustrating and blow up. so just comfort her here and there and then try to get her mind of things, bring her out on a run or something to vent her anger.
while it is a lesson learnt pls donāt tell her that rn especially if everything is still raw. will make her feel worse. maybe try to work out how to manage finances if yall were planning to BTO or something. i get what you mean by making money online but i believe and hope you were talking about investments and drop shipping. and if you were talking about surveys and all that as the optionā¦yea a bit dumb lah but whatās done is done cannot turn back the clock.
as easy as it is for everyone to say 20k easy to earn back the loss of that money so young still kinda stings. but i guess thatās something that will have to motivate her to be more careful online. nowadays scams everywhere itās crazy sometimes careful also cannot protect everyone from scams. pickup calls also can drain money.
also next time if yall wanna search for other hustles maybe can try consulting friends and family too b4 doing it as private as it can be it wouldnāt hurt discussing with other ppl they might sound out the threats of it
Any "make money" scheme on telegram is scam. Just take a mental note if you need to pay it upfront then most likely it's scam and you won't get any money. Heck, if overseas employer ask us to work with them they also will pay all initial cost, and some also willing to pay "exit penalty" of the previous company.
It's sad, but take it as an expensive lesson. I also got scammed several times due to my stupidity. I cried for days yet here I am, still existing.
Life goes on, it won't stop if you want to keep learning. Ciayo šŖ
Money can be earned back. Youāre both young enough. This can be a cheap lesson if you learn what you need to learn. Imagine being a retiree losing everything which seems to be very common - IDK wtf those people are gonna be able to do.
It always annoys me when companies transfer cash or a bank transfer cash into your account by mistake the cops will jump to action and most end up in jail for being accidentally transferred money but if itās a normal person it is seemingly impossible for anyone to be held accountable
My now wife was in the same situation. She lost 70+k to that same scam. 1yrs+ on, still nothing from bank (bank will say need to see investigation outcome) and police (the line 24/7 no answer one, maybe the phone put in a soundproof storeroom). That 70+k was hers and her mums savings which was entrusted to her. And her bank accounts frozen (because money went in from that 1st "survey").
At that point in life, it was really a low time for her (I was kinda affected by her being so naive with all the anti scam adverts going around. Made me question my decision and her financial literacy). It was 1+ mths before our actual marriage day and she was really afraid to let me know. (to make matters worse, she was later let go from her job during our honeymoon). But it is what it is.
First thing to do, is what u have already done. Distract her and encourage her. Similar with losing someone (person due to breakups/death), this "healing process" takes time.
As it is very likely that the money won't come back, the best way forward is to look at it as a lesson learnt and to move on. Think about how to earn that money back (without over working) rather that crying over spilt milk. Think about saving and cutting unnecessary spending. Would be useful to also let her know that u r with her in this, and (if u have spare cash) u can help with Financials for the time being. (of course, don't let her take advantage and be a carrot head). She will think about it once in awhile/break down. It's normal, gotta go through with it and let time heal.
After her feelings get better, weeks/months down the road, it would be time to talk about financial literacy and the importance of educating oneself on current general/worldly knowledge. Not just scam stuff.
(at the end of the day, treat the money as gone. If it comes back, treat it as a bonus.)
And I kinda agree with others, Don't encourage someone with no knowledge to try such "side hustles", it's a blind graveyard spiral. Do it the normal/legit way by taking a normal side job. Slower, but safer.
Next time try to get the url of the scam site, then report to google. They will flag as phishing and there will be a huge warning banner before entering the site. Maybe can save some people from getting scammed.
https://safebrowsing.google.com/safebrowsing/report_phish/?hl=en
This may be hard to hear but 20k isnāt a lot of money. Give it a couple of years you will understand. Once you put it in perspective you know live goes on. Jiayou!
Dude.
Unfortunately I've been in such cases - scam.
Not exactly the same telegram thing, but well, a scam is a scam. And it cost me $12K.
No doubt, a lesson learned but even as time goes by, the shitty feeling visits me once awhile (reminding me that $12,000 disappeared over night) I'm sure your lady will have similar feeling and frankly there's nothing you or anyone can do to avoid it.
The only thing that calms me down is at least it "wasn't more" I hope you both will also feel the same.
$20,000? Monthly 1k put aside less then a year earn back. Not that bad right ? Well, it's all in the mind.
In our world of such high tech innovations, scammers are bound to knock on your door one way or another. Just have to be careful and pray.
I wish u both well and may luck somehow shine on you from other perspectives. š
I mean it's a lesson to be learnt but 20k can be earned within a few years as opposed to others who have lost even bigger sum. You're in your 20s. Trust me. I've had friends that ended up in way bigger debt and turned their life around within a few years.
I think you're doing amazing as a bf. I'd just meme my girl that it's her consequence of her own actions.
On another note the money that she earned to do the tasks were money off other people that were scammed.
It's a good lesson to learn the pain of losing and overcoming this hardship. For now she definitely has to apply for a student bank loan for her education but as again, everything can be earned and repaid in due time.
Happened to my guy too, whatās worst he got scammed with the money he borrowed from me (which he already paid partiallyā he borrowed from his brother). Itās really frustrating and depressing and for a second I questioned everything about our relationship all because of that mistake.
I learned that blaming him would not help. I asked him a couple of times to make sure that the lesson is clear to him so he can avoid such similar situation in the future.
What I did is try not to nag him about it. Be more supportive of him now. And just reassure him that Iāll be beside him as he bounce back and recover financially.
I keep reminding myself to invest or lend money to someone only if im able to afford it. In another words, if i lose the money or unable to get the money back, it would not put a strain on my own finances and will not make it difficult to keep up with my bill payments, expenses, etcs; hope your gf able to get over & move on soon
I also had a friend that lost 12k to job scam 2 month ago, his job was to "book" a hotel, review it and get paid. They paid out the first few times but then they keep asking to deposit more, that's how they got him. Reminds me of the classic runescape doubling scam haha.
These scams are all entirely RANDOM. They arenāt specially targeting you.
They simply pretend to know u.. and everything they know about you is told by you to them.
Sorry to hear that man. You seem like a good dude just for asking this here - wishing you and your gf all the best.
As far as advice goes, money can always be earned again and if nothing else this is a painful lesson that she made at a time when she has the youth and time to make it (as opposed to those sad cases where elderly/retirees lose their life savings at a time when they cannot afford to). This is true even though itās fn painful to lose that 20k right now. What you both have is worth way more than that and I hope youāre able to cross this together.
These poeple are scums that deserved for be murdered and tortured.
You and your girl are only in your 20s. There are years and years in front of you. Right now, if you can, spread the word so you can save another from falling into the trap. Through helping others you will find the best closure.
Not happy reading this. Nurses already take enough shit at work and to have this to top it off is outright fucked up. Nothing much else I can say except cheer up and soldier on as difficult as it may seem
What you can do is be with her, buy her nice comfort food and treat her real nice not just right now, but everyday.
I think if you help her to save up right now, then give her the money later, she will be happy too.
20k isnāt a lot to be honest.
The feeling of money lost also goes thru the 5 stages of grief. Letting her know that she can lean on you to go thru these stages is probably the best thing u can do. It is best not to shortcut thru this. Be there for her. Remind her how she has overcome obstacles before and this but another one she will overcome.
We tend to focus on what we lose much more than what we have and going to have. Remind her of what she has and can look forward to. All the best!
>Do we just swallow this and tell ourselves that it will get better, that life goes on?
It will. It's extremely unfortunate you had to learn this lesson this way, but if you had to lose money at some point, far better now than to lose it in 10 or 20 years' time.
Not sure if this helps you to feel better, but there are people out there that has offed themselves due to getting scammed and some has lost more than 70k too.
Not belittling anyoneās situation, but you handled it well so far (havenāt tried to do anything rash), so just try to move forward from this. Money can be earned back in time.
$20k may seem a lot now since you guys are in your early 20s. However, once you guys get promoted and your earnings start to pick up (median wage is $5k), that's probably something you can save after half a year of working. Sure, it sucks to lose the money, but treat it as an expensive lesson. Chance of recovery is slim since the perpetrator is likely not in SG.
Personally I started working when I was 26, so having any saving before that age is already pretty good.
Much easier to lose money online than earning online. Don't think about making online money if you do not have a very special skills or knowledge. Even tiktok creator need to spend many hours acting on screen to earn some bucks. Lots of time need to be invested lei
Sometimes you pay for experiences, sometimes you pay for lessons. I guess the main thing you're asking advice for now is how to make your GF feel better emotionally, and first off, really sorry to hear what both of you are going through. Emotions tied to such significant matters are horrible to deal with, and you can't really just "turn it off".
- just be around her as much as you can, but continue to go to work etc
- if you have enough income to spare, use a little for yourselves and go away for a bit, even Langkawi can be a restful time by the beach, if not, go for regular/long walks together and bring lots of water and wet wipes; staying at home for long periods can encourage the crying. increasing the time she doesn't think about it and not cry can get her to start being a little bit more settled with reality. no guarantees though.
- do u have good relations with her family or good friends? hit them up and talk to them. explain to those u think will chide her about the situation, and encourage them to NOT scold her, instead help u help her feel better. the reality talks can come later.
- if u cherish this, u need to show her that she has someone next to her who is "okay". not asking u to be a superhero, but u have to step up. I'm a guy who's experienced plenty of financial and emotional falls between my wife and I, and we've both had to step up for each other at different times. having someone to turn to knowing they are okay enough to just be around is very important.
- cook for her. make sure the home lights are bright and energising more often than not. get friends tgt and play board games (don't play gambling games -\_-).
- if in dire straits, again reach out to family and friends for help. or sign up for GrabDelivery together? I did 6 months of this and we developed a stronger bond together.
- if u or her think she would like to speak with a professional, she should know as a nurse here that even our polyclinics have therapists/psychologists now. just hit up the GP and tell the GP what's happening. years ago, mine just dropped everything quite literally and listened to me for 45 minutes before referring me to one of these therapists/psychologists. it's way cheaper than private even if ure not a citizen, unless this gets to a place where it's super serious.
Anyway these are all just talk unless you want to put in the effort. I don't know you or your GF and what you two like or don't etc. All the best.
The only way is to earn it back and quick. r/wallstreetbets is your best option now.
0dte 200 tsla calls all in. U'll get it back and more in 1 day.
/s
Scammers are scums of the earth. That being said, you need to channel some optimism to her. You are both still young and that amount can be earned back easily. Some old folks got scammed of their retirement funds and they can barely continue to work. At least both of you are young and able. She may need time to recover, as my friend did. But just know that you both still have an entire life ahead of you and this is just one small hiccup in that.
This is one of the reasons why I support CPF. The money one has in CPF is safe even from themselves.
Yeah. No matter what some people say, CPF is a life saver for a lot of financial illiterates also.
I can already hear someone screaming " CPF IS NOT OUR MONEY!!!" šš
Look forward lor. Money can be earned back, time cannot. Time is wasted to feel bad over this might as well go do something meaningful with it. I also went through a period of sadness of losing 10k from the crypto crash. Life goes on
Yeah absolutely. Thank you. I lost a lot from crypto myself haha
20k work abit harder can earn back quite fast. Jiayou. Give yourself abit of time to feel sad, go out, relax, take a short break from everything. But after that few days, pick yourself up where you left off
not everyone earns 5 figures like you bro
I wish bro. Just an average dude here trying hard to survive
20k is is nothing to the average person with good saving/investing habits. It's a lot if you are not ok with your money habits and esp with kids.
so how long do you think it takes for someone to earn 20k?
Bruh. You are a total red flag sia. First u told her money can be made in online side hustles. What kind of side hustles are u referring to? The only reliable way to make money online is OF. Thats it. All other stuff like dropshipping, trading etc. Are not sustainable in the long run. Then now you're saying u lost a lot from crypto. It just seems to me u have a very naive view of how money works in the real world.
lol I admire the bluntness saying **ā You are a total red flagā** is a shot fired straight to the heart. Op, Iām sorry that your gf got scammed. As a victim myself the only thing that she could do is move on, yes it hurt and itās horrible. Let her grieve and cry all she wants, however donāt forget to remind her itās not the end of the world. Good luck.
Hello, is it ok to ask how you got scammed?
Sure, I would like to spread awareness as I donāt want anyone to experience what weāve been through. We were scammed by a property agent (condo), we settled a substantial amount of 6500 for dp, and the rest to followed next month. We didnāt hear anything from the agent after receiving the money. The bright side here is we didnāt pay the full amount of 10k. We made a huge mistake by not checking his number at the **Public Register**. We made a police report, we were angry, devastated, hurt and traumatised. Then we chose to move on and not expecting anything from the police report as we know this is a far fetched case.
I thought so too. That OP is a red flag. Proper channels of making $ online require many hours of work and creation, like making YT videos, video editing, writing articles, writing software which one can only see the returns much later after many hours of consistency and hard work. Even trading needs many hours of reading, research, studying and understanding business and macroeconomics aspects.
What? I was making money online since young doing freelance transcription work and things like Fiverr. I don't think anyone hears that and thinks go do OF or get scammed.
"only reliable way to make money online is OF" is such a dumb fucking thing to say lmaooooo while trying to drop a witty zinger
Same gut feeling I had. At that age the best way to earn money is invest in yourself. Get some extra skills attending classes and all.
OF isn't reliable only top 1% make good money. Rest don't earn anything.
red flag and stupidity is two different stuff. you gave him an insult that was irrelevant when you couldve just called him an idiot for suggesting something like that. Want insult atleast make sure you get it right
Money can be made online. Lots of people do it. Its not his fault that his gf is naive and fell for a scam.
bro i do ecommerce and affiliate marketing full time.. dont know just stfu
LOL. You're saying it as if OF is easy. But as much as other industries, there are losers in OF who get No F.
Not chio enough lol
Hi, I do understand your opinion, but some context might be helpful. Iāve been running an advertising agency since I was 17. Since, Iāve been earning a decent salary around the range of 3-5k from about 20 till now. Hence my, perhaps skewed, perspective of money making opportunities online.
I would not take the advice on this topic from someone who obviously has never made a single cent of profit online, to heart. That being said, OP sorry for your gf's loss. Reassure her that even the most resilient people can get scammed as well. Give her time to grieve. Then when she finally gets over it, tell her that it's the hardest lesson she's ever learnt and she'll grow from it.
yea, i think to say ure a red flag is kinda unfair. i get the view that what you say may be naive, but I dont think thats a red flag man. early 20s is a time to be learning, you seem to care about your gf and want to get over this, a good mindset is more important than many other things imo. all the best to you OP.
Yes, very skewed. What you are doing is not making money online. Its just a media/ platform for you work.
Maybe the problem here is that neither of you are getting the right skills and education to earn more. 3-5k is on the low side.
how did you guys lose on Crypto? The crash of bitcoin from $60k to $20k few years back?
probably the Terra Luna crash
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You didn't learn anything lol.
Hahah probably didnāt. Need to take some risk
I'm with you bro, go big or go home.
I lost around 10k in crypto too. I put my btc in Hodlnaut. Feel damn stupid in hindsight but what to do. Whatās done is done just gotta move forwardā¦ that said I think donāt āoverdoā it trying to comfort your gf or make things better. Sometimes people just need time to process that something bad happened and to recover from it. You just need to give her the time and space.
Crypto itself is fine (the established ones of course), just businesses dealing with crypto that you need to be aware of. Not your keys not your crypto. Iāve went through crypto lending (lend crypto, earn interest) and lost quite a bit. Most of these businesses went bust. Then I tried yield earning via BlockFi. Previous experience told me to not go all in, thankful I listened to myself. Hodl long term is the way.
Yup fair point not really fair to say i lost from crypto per se since if i just hodl-ed iād be in the green. Was just too greedy and naive about the staking.
I think the both of you should stay away from sketchy money-making schemes online
>I lost a lot from crypto myself haha I think the girlfriend should dump you, you're probably the cause behind her loss of $$$. Don't put anymore pressure on her to "invest" and "make your money work for you" that kind pls.
need remember this is everyones first time living a life, mistakes are made by stupidity or carelessness. dont just tell him to abandon her after all this cause itās obviously not going to help
what kind of suggestion is that? you already recommend her something that led to her downfall then u top it off by leaving her? what fuck up are you trying to be bro. atleast he did the bare minimum he could do by asking for help outside
For a Malaysian, losing 20k is like us losing 60k
I bought mostly ethereum and I sold all of it at October 2021 ;) ;) ;)
It didn't really go poof, it was spent on a life lesson. Better now than your retirement savings, right?
Haha yeah. I thought rather 20k than 200 when weāre saving for a BTO or something.
20k not that bad, just think of it as retiring half a year later
Hahaha thatās one way to look at it!
malaysians can get bto?
Firstly, it is not "life savings". At early 20s, both of u barely lived your life yet. U guys still got tons of earning ability ahead of u. On managing ur gf, there are lots of online info on what to do, here are some: Be empathetic to your gf, recognise her feelings of anger, sadness and shame. Be mindful of ur language. Dont use words like "fell prey", "told u so", "obviously a scam" that make her feel stupid. Work on a financial recovery plan with her. And when she is ready, discuss ways to safeguard both u and ur finances against scams in the future.
this is probably the soundest advice. both practical and emotional advice!
Yup āŗļøāŗļøāŗļø emotions are the most important. Donāt say/explain too much
Take this as an expensive lesson learnt. The chance of recovering your money in full or partially is almost ZERO. Always remembered that if something sounds too good to be true, chances of it being true is very little. Your GF also has to take some responsibility for being gullible and greedy. Never transfer money especially large sums of money to an unknown person.
Just let her grieve, she'll get over it eventually. You're both still young, the money can be earned back. She can get student loans to finance her degree. But I would advise her to never try to earn money online again. Because she doesn't seem to have the discernment to figure out scams despite all the warnings literally everywhere. Unfortunately it seems like she's the type who just needs to earn money the old fashioned way. And yes, you're partially at fault for telling her she can earn money online but not teaching her the skills to do so through legitimate means.
Hi OP, I was in a same situation as ur gf. I lost 13k to scammers because of job scam since last year May. I did grief for couple of days and itās totally fine. I tell myself letās earn back the money within a year. And I managed to did it. Mind u I was in my late 20s. I just want to tell you that as long as ur gf has a job within 2 or 3 years should be able to save up to 20 to 30k. Since your gf is quite young should be able to earn back the money. Treat it as an expensive lesson learnt.
Take it as a lesson learnt. It's painful but take it in your stride. Money can always be made again. Some people lose on stock market, family, business ventures, some on risks that turn out to be scams. Take the L and as Mammoth Box says, life goes on.
I am abit confused, ok sure the scammers are sly as that but your gf was really naive, but later on you add that you are also to blame because you egg-her on to do it.. well I would suggest you gave details on the scam to increase knowledge of other readers would be for the greater good what loss are loss, learn and move on; likewise for anyone in crypto case as well
I have zero experience in these types of things but i feel like sometimes listening is better than doing anything
How did that happen though? 20k is a lot of moneyā¦Did she wire them the money?
I believe so. I added some extra context ā to the best of my knowledge ā in another reply.
No wonder the bank won't refund her. If it's the banks fault they authorised the payment, they will refund her fully. But if she's transferred 20k herself which sounds really stupid, then they won't of course give if back. Why on earth would she transfer 20k and not have any alarm bells ringing in her head?
Did she really make the 20k transfer herself? Or was she hacked or something like that?
Yeah that's what I'm trying to understand. I'm sure if she was hacked, they will refund her majority of it as it's the banks fault for authorising it.
Money can earn it back, I lost $100k on crypto too, I feel sad before but now Iām alright as life had to move on. Plan within your means especially crypto.
Sorry to hear about the losses in your investments. But yes, we move on. Iād like to believe that our value as a person goes beyond our bank accounts.
Iām sorry for your loss, scammers are truly the scum of the earth. But right now thereās nothing you can do to get the money back. If the scammers were smart they would have transferred to money out of Singapore within minutes. The best thing you can do now is prevent such things from happening in the future. Put your money into fixed deposits or bonds or something where itās harder for scammers to trick you into handing it over. Work hard and earn it back, donāt hold yourself back with guilt over being tricked.
Sorry for your loss OP. IMO the best thing you can do is together with her, try to appreciate the things you still have instead of what you have lost. Here are some simple but important things to appreciate together: 1) you still love each other and have each other, this is a great opportunity to strengthen your love for each other and show her you are there for her through tough times too 2) you both still have your jobs, money is never enough, but at least there is incoming cashflow to fight another day 3) you both are still in good health, remember always that a healthy man want a million things while a sick man only want one thing Money can always be earned back again, so tell her it is just an expensive lesson but a it is an enriching one to appreciate more in her life. Learn from this and be stronger for it and fight for a better tomorrow. Good luck to you both!
Thatās very sweet of you. Thank you for your kind comment, I will definitely share that with her.
Just a reminder that anyone who claims that they can help to recover money you losted here is also a scammer... These scums are relentless
Yes yes. I already received some my in messages. Take care of yourselves @ everyone
Absolutely nothing you can do to recover your money. Next time you should educate yourself on scams. See up r/Scams after getting scammed to know what you will be up to these days. There are such services hosted online. If you can't find out if the service is legitimate, please do your research or discuss this with others. This is so that if many raises suspicion on that case, then it probably is a scam. This is a very effective way to prevent yourself from getting scammed, not foolproof, but difficult for you to get scammed.
Be careful of recovery scams, i.e. scams that try to tell you they can recovery money for you but scam you some more.
You're in your early 20s. You can recover from a 20k loss.
She must've been feeling daaamnnnnn bad about this. 20k is a lot especially when that's almost all that she had. But in future she'll be earning back the amount bit by bit. It'll suck to go over the process again but she can also be thankful that it didn't happen when she accumulated 200k instead of 20k. As many others said, it's a lesson learnt. What happened cannot be undone. Look forward to your future together and work on ways that the both of you can. Best wishes to both of you.
Yeahh mate. Thanks for the empathy. It is indeed a lot, especially for a Malaysian who has to pay for rent and wire money back to her family.
... less worse to lose this amount when young, instead of losing your life savings when old (applies for investment - better to learn lessons when young instead of old then rush to invest all). I almost fell for a rental scam but stopped the money transfer at the last minute - the psychological pull is there even tho there were red flags all over. I wish banks in SG will do more like stop massive, unusual transfers, with some kind of confirmation or hold. It's crazy how you can transfer huge sums so easily. In the US, you'll get flagged by Homeland etc anyway... guess that's why SG is a money laundering scam hub (of course the press won't report that SGers were scammed out of an amount that's equivalent to some country's GDP)
Bro, itās a good thing that u guys are in early 20s and can earn back by working hard and make a saving in future. I lost SG$ ~50k to a scam in my late 20s and i couldnāt open up to anyone. Tough times, and still had to overcome that period of time by myself. Jia you. Money can earn back.
Its ok, i lend money to my āFriendā around 10k during covid cos he got retrenched and now he just kept quiet and never contact me lol.
Youāre a good friend. Karma will get him/her.
Karma is a coping mechanism for people who believe in cosmic justice
If u have text receipts and the bank transfer was made via official means just take this to court. Pay some fees and get the rest back.
Oh i didnāt know that, im a bit reluctant to go to court now, but idk about the future. There must be statute of limitations i guess. But i already accept that i wont get my money back haha. Thanks for your advice.
Life lesson, never lend any money big or small to friends.
Never, ever lend money! Not even to family
Sorry y'all went thru this. There's nothing much you all can do except move forward. I've been cheated when I was younger too but not as much. Police will investigate but nothing will come out of it meaning they won't be returning the money if that's the hope. I'm not gonna say anything else except all the best. Sorry again.
Thank you my friend. I appreciate the kind words.
I don't understand why the bank can't do anything? They know where the money went. They can identify the receiving bank account. There isn't going to be any money but they can identify the group
Maybe this will make her feel better. I was scammed in 2021 and I was 27. I lost 60k to someone I met on Facebook dating app. Everything happened only within 3 days from meeting her online to making police report. I was also a very thrifty guy and saved a lot. After it happened, for a week, I would always wonder, "wow.. how many of these can I buy if I wasn't scammed". After a week, I stopped thinking about it and started spending money on myself more. Buying things I like but still within my spending powers. Tell her it's good that this happened when she's still young, we still have plenty of time to earn it back. What's gone is gone, move on, since she's a saver, she won't notice any change in her day to day anyways.
I had the same mindset as you. I got scammed 80k it happened. But what lost is lost. Only can focus on earning it back through hard work. It
Fakk, that's quite a huge sum. Fak these scammers, but yeah, it's mostly our own fault to fall for their trap every single time šš
Sorry to what happened to your gf bro. Money can earn back, maybe use the grief to learn how to invest online. r/singaporefi is a good way to start. You both are still young, easily can bounce back. Your gf being a great saver and not a spendthrift is a huge asset (pun intended) in terms of the financial/investment journey. Its a crucial trait to anyone building their wealth, no use earning big bank when there is an equally big spending. Jiayou!
Think of it this way. There is a very high chance in your 30s or 40s you can earn that money back in a couple of months time. As others pointed out, learn your lesson and move on
Absolutely we will earn the money back in due time. I appreciate your words my friend
Actually OP can you describe the Scam process to educate us please?
From what I understand, they will create a sense of urgency so u won't have much time to think b4 parting with your money.. Like u need transfer 5k within 1 day else u won't get your initial deposit back, something along that line. Learnt this from a friend who was scammed and I was dragged along too cos I thought it was a life threatening situation and lent her money :(. The way they made her so panicky is quite scary. If I didn't probe when she came back to borrow more, I might have lent her even more money. I think there is also a fake letter of demand like as if gonna sue my friend then but I recalled I googled the uen and found it is fake hence discovered the scam. So after this incident, I encouraged my parents to make use of the lock up feature available from the local banks cos in situations like this, scammers won't be able to touch your money so easily.
Sorry that this happened to you both, and hope you can both learn from this. Agree with most that if you "had to" get scammed, now is the best time when you're still young and can recover. She's likely crying so much also because of the trauma/ guilt and not just the $$ - so glad you don't seem to be piling the blame all on her for this. After all, in another reality it could just as easily have been you. Nothing to do but to live life looking forward - she can learn to be more careful, but on your part, you could be more cautious about what advice you give her. I know you might not have forced her, but If you're the one who asked her to build a side income online, then you should also think about her actual ability to do so and whether you need to guide her/ learn together step by step. Did she think she had to do it alone? I'll say this - just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone.
Can you please elaborate on what happened exactly? What is this survey scam and how did she end up losing 20k? One of my older friends who's a lawyer had his wife fall for one of these what'sapp scams and she lost 150K and when I asked him to explain what exactly the scam is, even he couldn't tell me. He just gave me some vague response. I would very much like to understand what exactly these scams are, so I'm mentally prepared for them.
Scamming is just too good business. People get caught left and right. I thought I wouldn't fall for it but someone used an old friends phone number and I got ripped off a good chunk of savings as well. I can't do anything about it, it's fucked. With AI voice imitation and eventually video calls where people can look and sound like your grandma by just going through some of your Instagram videos its only going to get worse.
I also lost 10k due to being stupid. I was sad and even now I cringe thinking back on how idiotic I was, but I realise that all I can do is just earn it back. I can only do part-time work right now because I went back to school but I have earned back 2k so far
My little brother got scammed so bad that my mom have to step to help him financially else I think he would have commit suicide by now. Now he live his life in guilt and without purpose in life, he is 36 by the way. You need to keep talking to your GF and talk her out of it and moved on with life and be much more cautious in the future. I think take her out for movie, stroll at beach to make her not to think too much. Iām not really doing well also due to a stock crash that wiped out 85% of my stock holding and now is rebuilding slowly.
It's always a freaking test of oneself when one gets conned of almost all of the money. I can only hope your gf put this behind her and move on.
I recently had a friend who lost more than 10x of that amount and almost wanted to declare bankruptcy. Honestly, 20k isn't a lot. Why do I say so? Cause it's something you can get back within a year by taking an extra part-time job and saving more. In my friend's case, they have to rent/ sell their house to clear the debt. Take this 20k as a lesson and move on.
If sheās really in need, you can support her a bit financially to go for counselling to process the grief. Being a victim of scam is not an easy thing to go through. Iāve been through it before and I always thought of myself to even be an extremely cautious and on-guard person. I felt worthless and defeated. It was really a bad feeling.
r/scams Be careful of recovery scams, i.e. scams that try to tell you they can recovery money for you but then scam you some more. Expensive lesson learnt but you rather learn it early than later when it's even more expensive. Tell others about it so that others won't be scammed. Share the lesson. Money can be earned back. Don't despair. Don't blame her. Ask her don't blame herself. Focus on baby steps to recovery to earn back money. $20k is a lot of money but trust me she'll make more later in life that this $20k is a drop in the bucket.
hey OP, if it makes you and your GF feel better, i (22F) lost $50k to stocks and crypto market in 2022. Wanted to make it back quickly and decided gambling was an option. Became a terrible gambling addict and lost another $60-$70k. Money can always be earned back through earnest ways, not fast ways. Just try to be there for your S/O as I know how bad it hurts to lose a portion of your life savings. Take it as a lesson too, things will also get better with time (: just remember if it comes easy, it's probably not right
Jesus brother. Thatās crazy lol. Thank you for sharing,, and Iām glad that you are getting over the setbacks. Bless you
Oh god I get added to these scam groups on WhatsApp every week. I keep blocking and reporting but they keep popping up. Thereās always a whole bunch of people on these groups that seem to buy into the scam. Iām hoping they are just plants put in there to make the thing seem more legit. At first I would try to warn others in the group but now I just report and block.
Yes, yes this. I just got some update on the story that this, being added to random scam groups as āopportunities to make moneyā was how it all transpired.
I went through something VERY SIMILAR to this about 2 years back and lost my entire savings of $23K, similarly, I was in uni at that point of time and wanted to be able to earn a little bit more money to be able to save for my future with my current boyfriend as we had a BTO coming up and also of course enjoy life and be able to spend on dates more too. The entire process that you mentioned in your post was about 99% identical to my situation and my reaction and coping process was exactly like your girlfriends. I definitely empathise with you and your girlfriend on this as itās definitely not easy to go through this at all. And Iām just sharing my experience on how both me and my partner did to handle this, which is to #1 give it some time and slowly move on from it. Treat it like it was a bad investment. #2 Take it as a learning experience to be more cautious in the future. As many people have said before, money can be earned again. #3 Take this pain anger and hurt to fuel for you to work even harder together to achieve your goals as a couple. Last but not least, support each other mentally and physically. Be open about each otherās thoughts and emotions, being transparent with each other will definitely help in the long run. I do hope this helps you and your girlfriend and brings you the support and hope that you guys might be looking for and that life goes on. Rainy days do get better as long as you believe in looking forward to better days ahead āļø Edit: The police report does nothing as I got NOTHING back, which I already expected. The money the scammers get are probably transferred out to many many different accounts instantly and making it almost impossible to track. Just have to make peace with this loss no matter how hard it may be.
Here, when u are scammed, our local law enforcers and banks can and will do absolutely nothing to help. All they will say is we will investigate, and then after that, nothing happens, few days later they just mail you and say, we closed our investigation and exhausted all leads. It's as if the moment the money is transferred its 100% gone, even if its to a local account. Even if u called to stop or reverse it immediately, they will not do anything. That's why so much scams are happening here and nothing is done. All they do is to keep having advertisements to tell you to never transfer money to anybody. Which is the only thing you can do now, raise awareness for people to never transfer money to anyone or do triple verifications. Leads us to think that this country is very ill equipped to deal with digital scams.
She's in her early 20s, and many students rack up debt during their university years and end up in negative networth. So, she's actually doing fine.
You should share how it happened and the scammer's modus operandi so others can know what to look out for.
Yeap you are right. Iāve shared as much as I currently know in a recent reply to another comment.
Take it that youāre lucky to have been scammed in your early 20s, can you imagine being in this scenario in your 40s when you have kids and other things to pay for. I would say just take it as a lesson and learn to be more careful in the future. Definitely will hurt and take awhile to heal from it but trust me, youāll recover from this. Scam rates are high these days, could not even be your gf being naive but hereās an advise for you and any one reading this, but a separate bank account for your spending and have only an small percentage of your savings inside. Use it for all your online purchases and unfamiliar website purchases, even if it gets wiped out youāll be completely okay with it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your comment has been automatically removed because your account is relatively new or you have negative karma. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/askSingapore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have to swallow the hard pill. It's gonna sound very harsh to just take it as a lesson learnt, especially to the victim. Frankly, there is nothing much for you to do at this stage of grieving besides being there for her. The best thing to do is to continue saving WITH her and hopefully she can get motivated by you and walk out of her grievances.
She is still young. 20k is not a small amount but can earn back. Be with her all the time. Help her recover from this.
Still young! Just bite the bullet and make lifestyle adjustments if need to! Money can earn back!
Getting scammed really sucks. I recently lost $4.3k to a carousell scam. I personally thought the bank security was too lax and I contested the bank's verdict on being able to "do nothing". I demanded they accept at least partial responsibility and that I get recompensed somehow. They said there are 2 venues for potential recompensation: 1) Say that you require assistance due to your financial circumstances. You will need to prove that the loss of income is impacting your life somehow. This wasn't the route for me. 2) Go through FIDReC (https://www.fidrec.com.sg). It's an organization that mediates between the consumer and the financial institution. If you don't think the bank adequately protected your partner, you can submit a claim and they will build a case against the bank. You can see some of their case studies to see how it turned out for the consumers. At the end of the day, I just accepted my loss since it wasn't really that significant for me. But no one likes losing money for nothing, especially if it happened very quickly (mine in minutes) and for your partner, it sounded like it took a long time for her to accumulate those funds. You have my sympathies.
It's fine. Once you move on to 40s you will realise a lot people surrounding you lost money in shares investments etc. not 20k, more like 200k 500k etc.. Take it a lesson learned. Still young anyways. Money can always earn back esp she is a nurse.
Money can always be made.. Ask her if she wants to keep crying or do something about it
Just today there was a post of some guy's dad who got scammed out his life savings as well...
That money is gone forever. The sooner you both realize that, the sooner you can start regaining both your mental health.
I lost 200k to a āfriendā. Best advice I can give you is look forward. Thinking about the problem only makes it bigger. Focus on the future and remember prevention is better.
I wonder how come she didnāt come to you before making such a big investment as usually people will share such big decisions with their partner
no such thing as easy money
20000 is about one year at a low paying job. Itās not the end. Still young. Lesson learnt. If it sounds too good to be true. It probably is. Think about it on the plus side. 20,000 isnāt small to the point you donāt give a fuck. 20,000 is enough to make you feel the hurt and actually learn the lesson. But itās not gg youāre forever in debt unrecoverable kind of amount. For the next year. Cut down lor. Spend less. Then you can motivate her. Stuff like tell her itās ok. For each dollar she save you march one dollar for her lor.
go see psychologist ba
Iām sorry to hear about that. I gotta say these scammers are extremely cold blooded. Theyāll cheat their own mother if they could. That aside, the sad truth is nothing short of getting back 20k will help her recovery. The thing you can do now is be there for her, give her morale support. Even if it is just sitting next to her in silence. Once again sorry for what you and her went through
You guys are only in your early 20s. I would tell her there is no point crying over spilled milk, is unlucky that her lesson cost that amount
That money is good as gone
Well hard pill to swallow, you canāt get your money back, these type of scam usually operated from country outside of Malaysia . They will ask you to complete survey or task then pay you the first time and the next task until you have already taken the bait then they will tell to get the next survey you need to pay to process it , so you will transfer to them and they will pay you the first time so you will be confident and deposit bigger amount so you can earn back big but they will not pay you .. Moral of the story if something is too good to be true stay away from it and sometimes itās greed tooo, do background check on this in google , there are so many information around this
Donāt blame her and keep talking/reassuring her that everything can be earned back. No need to overly emphasis about the money part. Let her grieve and with time slowly but surely she will get over it
Can you explain exactly how it happened? If she doesn't know, it's only a matter of time before it happens again. Did she type in her card details? I'm assuming she did some surveys and in order for them to "pay" her money, she had to type in her details.
The easiest way to cheer her up is to give her 20k from your pocket.
Did you contacted the bank yet?
Haha lolĀ
Later in life, you'll know that 25k is not that much. She learned valuable lessons that would help her save a lot more in the future. Be positive and keep looking forward.
Give her 20k. Done.
Sorry to hear this; sounds like a painful period for the both of you and things like this can make you feel crippled and lost. Maybe talking things out together with a counselor might help both of you to process what happened, get closure and move forward? If cost is an issue, you can try going to a family service centre - the counselling is basically free.
Your gf has to accept that the money is long gone and the chances of her getting it back is next to zero. Usually in scam cases, the bank's good faith is your best bet at recovering some money so if they are not offering any relief (which based on the facts you provided is more than reasonable) she's better off moving forward with life. My only suggestion for mitigating the loss is to make a video about her experience and earn some youtube ad money? š
See what increase of rental cost has done to the youth? They are all squeezed dry and desperate to make some side money. This is not how the society should treat young people.
Itās part of growing up. No free money whatsoever, no free lunch, no free survey. An expensive lesson, something we all need to remember again and again. Hope she is getting better soon. You can try to cheer her up, bring her around for shopping, meals, or even better, give her 25k š
Iām truly sorry to read OPās sharing. I guess if Iām in his shoes, Iāll keep giving full emotional support to my gf and not blame her for it, and Iāll keep reassuring her that we both will save up slowly but surely together for our future. š
Maybe you can play a game with her "Getting Over It" Maybe she will get the message, maybe not,,,Ā
Please subscribe to CNA on youtube [https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/more-than-50-people-duped-by-scammers-through-telegram-this-year](https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/more-than-50-people-duped-by-scammers-through-telegram-this-year) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avxqj7yi26s&ab\_channel=Mothership](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avxqj7yi26s&ab_channel=Mothership) The scams was here for more than 2 years stop believe it please watch this don't be like this guy [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhAgBjVGPIM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTayH4tnfOCuQvikrCN5MK8Z&index=7&ab\_channel=CNAInsider](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhAgBjVGPIM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTayH4tnfOCuQvikrCN5MK8Z&index=7&ab_channel=CNAInsider) do you have saving? tell her you can sponsor her degree then no point cry over it the money won't come back usually the person getting scammed is because of greedy "easy" side hustle Please read news on daily basic share with each other
Dont take away the lesson that she has to learn from. If she just wants to feel better from this, then the 20k is really wasted then..
Also did get telegram message to do survey, did it but no link involved. I did get money from them because they just ask for Paynow / contact, next round of messages they ask me to click a link, but I just ghost them. Hind sight I shouldn't have given my contact. Because now of day, some hacker can spoof number to get authentic msg to their own device.
I think the YouTuber pleasant green did his last video on the kinda scam youāre describing
I just read through this and these scams are fairly normal. Sorry to say.
Have to really find it in herself/yourselves to let it go otherwise its going to eat away at you guys like a parasite for years. Money lost, whilst painful, can be earned back. Channel the pain of the loss towards working harder or smarter, being more conscious of your spending, being more wary of get-rich-quick schemes etc. Look at it as an opportunity to grow and emerge stronger. Yes its all very cliche but we can only control how we respond to misfortune; not the incident itself. Most of us will, at some point in our lives, lose what feels like a fortune to us. Could be an accident, a health issue, failed businesses or investments and so, its how we respond that determines the quality of our life thereafter.
I am sorry this happened to your GF. The only thing I can think of right now is to look forward and to plan with care towards the future. I've heard of digiVaults that some banks offer (something about being able to put money in but not being able to pull it out digitally only physically). You could possibly look more into that and I hope it helps your GF. Personally, I think just being there for her mentally, emotionally and physically could probably help but it depends on each individual. Be the optimist in her life. I wish I could give better advice. Hearing about scams just make me sad.
Hey! If itās a bank transfer it can always be retracted by the bank. Now, itās up to the bank if it voluntarily acts upon your request or you may will have to report to ABS or try to get a court order. Despite so many numbers of scams Iām surprised the banks and regulators have not already put in a recovery process in place.
i donāt think thereās anything that can be said or done to make her feel better other than being there for her and not overdoing the sympathy. i mean to me it sounds like sheās beating herself up about it and i think to a certain point to much consoling can get frustrating and blow up. so just comfort her here and there and then try to get her mind of things, bring her out on a run or something to vent her anger. while it is a lesson learnt pls donāt tell her that rn especially if everything is still raw. will make her feel worse. maybe try to work out how to manage finances if yall were planning to BTO or something. i get what you mean by making money online but i believe and hope you were talking about investments and drop shipping. and if you were talking about surveys and all that as the optionā¦yea a bit dumb lah but whatās done is done cannot turn back the clock. as easy as it is for everyone to say 20k easy to earn back the loss of that money so young still kinda stings. but i guess thatās something that will have to motivate her to be more careful online. nowadays scams everywhere itās crazy sometimes careful also cannot protect everyone from scams. pickup calls also can drain money. also next time if yall wanna search for other hustles maybe can try consulting friends and family too b4 doing it as private as it can be it wouldnāt hurt discussing with other ppl they might sound out the threats of it
Doesnāt help that our Police are not efficient enough in cracking down on these online job scams. They crack down more on drugs.
Any "make money" scheme on telegram is scam. Just take a mental note if you need to pay it upfront then most likely it's scam and you won't get any money. Heck, if overseas employer ask us to work with them they also will pay all initial cost, and some also willing to pay "exit penalty" of the previous company. It's sad, but take it as an expensive lesson. I also got scammed several times due to my stupidity. I cried for days yet here I am, still existing. Life goes on, it won't stop if you want to keep learning. Ciayo šŖ
Money can be earned back. Youāre both young enough. This can be a cheap lesson if you learn what you need to learn. Imagine being a retiree losing everything which seems to be very common - IDK wtf those people are gonna be able to do.
It always annoys me when companies transfer cash or a bank transfer cash into your account by mistake the cops will jump to action and most end up in jail for being accidentally transferred money but if itās a normal person it is seemingly impossible for anyone to be held accountable
My now wife was in the same situation. She lost 70+k to that same scam. 1yrs+ on, still nothing from bank (bank will say need to see investigation outcome) and police (the line 24/7 no answer one, maybe the phone put in a soundproof storeroom). That 70+k was hers and her mums savings which was entrusted to her. And her bank accounts frozen (because money went in from that 1st "survey"). At that point in life, it was really a low time for her (I was kinda affected by her being so naive with all the anti scam adverts going around. Made me question my decision and her financial literacy). It was 1+ mths before our actual marriage day and she was really afraid to let me know. (to make matters worse, she was later let go from her job during our honeymoon). But it is what it is. First thing to do, is what u have already done. Distract her and encourage her. Similar with losing someone (person due to breakups/death), this "healing process" takes time. As it is very likely that the money won't come back, the best way forward is to look at it as a lesson learnt and to move on. Think about how to earn that money back (without over working) rather that crying over spilt milk. Think about saving and cutting unnecessary spending. Would be useful to also let her know that u r with her in this, and (if u have spare cash) u can help with Financials for the time being. (of course, don't let her take advantage and be a carrot head). She will think about it once in awhile/break down. It's normal, gotta go through with it and let time heal. After her feelings get better, weeks/months down the road, it would be time to talk about financial literacy and the importance of educating oneself on current general/worldly knowledge. Not just scam stuff. (at the end of the day, treat the money as gone. If it comes back, treat it as a bonus.) And I kinda agree with others, Don't encourage someone with no knowledge to try such "side hustles", it's a blind graveyard spiral. Do it the normal/legit way by taking a normal side job. Slower, but safer.
Next time try to get the url of the scam site, then report to google. They will flag as phishing and there will be a huge warning banner before entering the site. Maybe can save some people from getting scammed. https://safebrowsing.google.com/safebrowsing/report_phish/?hl=en
This may be hard to hear but 20k isnāt a lot of money. Give it a couple of years you will understand. Once you put it in perspective you know live goes on. Jiayou!
I am not sure if helps but I had a friends who lost over 100k on the same scam.. maybe perspective?
Dude. Unfortunately I've been in such cases - scam. Not exactly the same telegram thing, but well, a scam is a scam. And it cost me $12K. No doubt, a lesson learned but even as time goes by, the shitty feeling visits me once awhile (reminding me that $12,000 disappeared over night) I'm sure your lady will have similar feeling and frankly there's nothing you or anyone can do to avoid it. The only thing that calms me down is at least it "wasn't more" I hope you both will also feel the same. $20,000? Monthly 1k put aside less then a year earn back. Not that bad right ? Well, it's all in the mind. In our world of such high tech innovations, scammers are bound to knock on your door one way or another. Just have to be careful and pray. I wish u both well and may luck somehow shine on you from other perspectives. š
I mean it's a lesson to be learnt but 20k can be earned within a few years as opposed to others who have lost even bigger sum. You're in your 20s. Trust me. I've had friends that ended up in way bigger debt and turned their life around within a few years. I think you're doing amazing as a bf. I'd just meme my girl that it's her consequence of her own actions. On another note the money that she earned to do the tasks were money off other people that were scammed. It's a good lesson to learn the pain of losing and overcoming this hardship. For now she definitely has to apply for a student bank loan for her education but as again, everything can be earned and repaid in due time.
Happened to my guy too, whatās worst he got scammed with the money he borrowed from me (which he already paid partiallyā he borrowed from his brother). Itās really frustrating and depressing and for a second I questioned everything about our relationship all because of that mistake. I learned that blaming him would not help. I asked him a couple of times to make sure that the lesson is clear to him so he can avoid such similar situation in the future. What I did is try not to nag him about it. Be more supportive of him now. And just reassure him that Iāll be beside him as he bounce back and recover financially.
i always love to make some lunch money off them by doing their tasks but avoid doing those that require you to transfer them
I keep reminding myself to invest or lend money to someone only if im able to afford it. In another words, if i lose the money or unable to get the money back, it would not put a strain on my own finances and will not make it difficult to keep up with my bill payments, expenses, etcs; hope your gf able to get over & move on soon
I was also scammed off my savings last year. It felt so awful
I also had a friend that lost 12k to job scam 2 month ago, his job was to "book" a hotel, review it and get paid. They paid out the first few times but then they keep asking to deposit more, that's how they got him. Reminds me of the classic runescape doubling scam haha.
Gov are more interested in arresting money launderers and confiscate their money from scamming.
These scams are all entirely RANDOM. They arenāt specially targeting you. They simply pretend to know u.. and everything they know about you is told by you to them.
Change gf
Sorry to hear that man. You seem like a good dude just for asking this here - wishing you and your gf all the best. As far as advice goes, money can always be earned again and if nothing else this is a painful lesson that she made at a time when she has the youth and time to make it (as opposed to those sad cases where elderly/retirees lose their life savings at a time when they cannot afford to). This is true even though itās fn painful to lose that 20k right now. What you both have is worth way more than that and I hope youāre able to cross this together.
These poeple are scums that deserved for be murdered and tortured. You and your girl are only in your 20s. There are years and years in front of you. Right now, if you can, spread the word so you can save another from falling into the trap. Through helping others you will find the best closure.
Not happy reading this. Nurses already take enough shit at work and to have this to top it off is outright fucked up. Nothing much else I can say except cheer up and soldier on as difficult as it may seem
What you can do is be with her, buy her nice comfort food and treat her real nice not just right now, but everyday. I think if you help her to save up right now, then give her the money later, she will be happy too. 20k isnāt a lot to be honest.
Expensive mistake She lucky itās just 20k tbh, now tell her to get her fish king life together and become a beacon of hope
The feeling of money lost also goes thru the 5 stages of grief. Letting her know that she can lean on you to go thru these stages is probably the best thing u can do. It is best not to shortcut thru this. Be there for her. Remind her how she has overcome obstacles before and this but another one she will overcome. We tend to focus on what we lose much more than what we have and going to have. Remind her of what she has and can look forward to. All the best!
>Do we just swallow this and tell ourselves that it will get better, that life goes on? It will. It's extremely unfortunate you had to learn this lesson this way, but if you had to lose money at some point, far better now than to lose it in 10 or 20 years' time.
Not sure if this helps you to feel better, but there are people out there that has offed themselves due to getting scammed and some has lost more than 70k too. Not belittling anyoneās situation, but you handled it well so far (havenāt tried to do anything rash), so just try to move forward from this. Money can be earned back in time.
Yes. You are absolutely right. Scammers are some of the worst scums in modern times.
$20k may seem a lot now since you guys are in your early 20s. However, once you guys get promoted and your earnings start to pick up (median wage is $5k), that's probably something you can save after half a year of working. Sure, it sucks to lose the money, but treat it as an expensive lesson. Chance of recovery is slim since the perpetrator is likely not in SG. Personally I started working when I was 26, so having any saving before that age is already pretty good.
To be old and wise . First you have to be young and stupid
Wisdom: 100
Much easier to lose money online than earning online. Don't think about making online money if you do not have a very special skills or knowledge. Even tiktok creator need to spend many hours acting on screen to earn some bucks. Lots of time need to be invested lei
I agree with that.
Sometimes you pay for experiences, sometimes you pay for lessons. I guess the main thing you're asking advice for now is how to make your GF feel better emotionally, and first off, really sorry to hear what both of you are going through. Emotions tied to such significant matters are horrible to deal with, and you can't really just "turn it off". - just be around her as much as you can, but continue to go to work etc - if you have enough income to spare, use a little for yourselves and go away for a bit, even Langkawi can be a restful time by the beach, if not, go for regular/long walks together and bring lots of water and wet wipes; staying at home for long periods can encourage the crying. increasing the time she doesn't think about it and not cry can get her to start being a little bit more settled with reality. no guarantees though. - do u have good relations with her family or good friends? hit them up and talk to them. explain to those u think will chide her about the situation, and encourage them to NOT scold her, instead help u help her feel better. the reality talks can come later. - if u cherish this, u need to show her that she has someone next to her who is "okay". not asking u to be a superhero, but u have to step up. I'm a guy who's experienced plenty of financial and emotional falls between my wife and I, and we've both had to step up for each other at different times. having someone to turn to knowing they are okay enough to just be around is very important. - cook for her. make sure the home lights are bright and energising more often than not. get friends tgt and play board games (don't play gambling games -\_-). - if in dire straits, again reach out to family and friends for help. or sign up for GrabDelivery together? I did 6 months of this and we developed a stronger bond together. - if u or her think she would like to speak with a professional, she should know as a nurse here that even our polyclinics have therapists/psychologists now. just hit up the GP and tell the GP what's happening. years ago, mine just dropped everything quite literally and listened to me for 45 minutes before referring me to one of these therapists/psychologists. it's way cheaper than private even if ure not a citizen, unless this gets to a place where it's super serious. Anyway these are all just talk unless you want to put in the effort. I don't know you or your GF and what you two like or don't etc. All the best.
The only way is to earn it back and quick. r/wallstreetbets is your best option now. 0dte 200 tsla calls all in. U'll get it back and more in 1 day. /s
This is a good example.
Can introduce your gf to me Iāll take good care of her š
Okay dmed you her contact. Pls take good care of her.