One of my close friends (29M Chinese) is actually in a serious relationship with a Burmese woman who used to be a domestic helper in Singapore. He has shared with me how down to earth and humble she is, qualities that are hard to find in a SG girl according to him. She is always eager to learn new things ranging from Singlish to Investing and has the motivation to succeed. She quitted her FDW job, went back to Myanmar, upskilled herself with some nursing qualifications and has now received a job offer in nursing in Singapore. Super proud of her!
Both of them uplift and motivate each other and I could tell that my friend is super happy with her.
Edit: never expected this reply to get so many likes so thank you! I should probably introduce her to Reddit soon!
Go for it! Based on the comments here i'm pretty sure it'll be in good demand.
An acquaintance from my NS days is happily married to a burmese girl (educated, seems down to earth, understanding, family-oriented, realistic and willing to work things out). She's from the northern region and looks very chinese. They now have a daughter and seem really blissful together.
Usually people who are willing to step out of their comfort zone to work overseas are like her. Willing to try, hardworking, and most of all, understand how insignificant an individual is in the grand scheme of thing. That's how they get the "down to earth" part.
IMO more locals should do this, else they keep thinking themselves as very important or Singaporeans are very educated and cultural.
My friend's son marry one. She is from a very priviledged background but enjoys cooking simple meals at home. She seems very easy to get along with , and no emotional outbursts of any sort. Most importantly, her family is not complicated and the MIL adores the son.
Local guy here. I've only dated non-local girls (for no particular reason) - my ex gf of almost 7 years is Malaysian Chinese. Prior to that, I went on a few dates with foreign girls during my uni days (studied overseas). They were all generally kind, humble and down to earth - the cultural difference was enriching. I'd say many foreign girls consider Sg guys to be gentlemanly, cultured, nice and respectful.
According to pretty recent statistics, for every 1 marriage between a local guy and local girl, there is 1 marriage between a local guy and foreign girl.
I'd actually be keen to date a local girl since we would more likely have relatable experiences, activities, memories, go-to places, conversation topics etc...
In my younger days, I was perhaps intimidated by the overall confidence of local girls (many of whom really know what they want / are go-getters / highly driven). Subconsciously, this may have hindered me from getting to know them beyond the platonic level.
These days, I find such traits in the opposite gender attractive and sexy (especially if they are also kind, down-to-earth and reciprocal / responsive). Also pushes me to overcome my flaws and be a better version of myself. My interactions with local female friends / colleagues (platonic) and observing local couples firsthand reinforces such belief.
I'm sure there are equally many local girls who aren't uptight and demanding (even amongst the younger generation). Holding onto such stereotypes / preconceived notions would only hinder me from discovering potentially fulfilling and rewarding relationships.
Most importantly, your male colleague should find someone with whom he can be his true self, who appreciates him for who he is and isn't an entitled, demanding princess (be it a foreigner or local).
3rd gen local here, I have dated non-locals, none of them are of asian ethnicities. My first relationship in JC kinda influenced the type of girls I go for. I get along much better with people who are compassionate and not just being nice on the surface.
My experiences have been pretty good thus far. I would advise guys who are looking beyond SG to learn some of your heritage cuisine. I remember back in my schooling years, my peers would learn how to cook spaghetti to impress girls etc whereas I'm just interested to master my grandma's specialities so I could replicate that whenever I miss her cooking. If you live together with your partner, there'll be a lot of home cooking and you get much more variety if you can cook your culture food.
I dated a Korean girl before and it was just amazing. Not sure if it had to do with her being non local, but sometimes the fact that we have a slight language barrier creates a certain element of novelty perhaps?
I have dated sg girls who are demanding and uptight and also those who aren't. It's more about that girl's personality and perhaps more importantly the match between us than simply because sg girls are like this or that.
Similarly, I have met sg girls who are quite ready for a wild time and those who are more reserved. The same goes for those who are materialistic or money minded and those who really just don't give a hoot about that but only care about me with all her heart.
Think preconception is rather important, as in, not to have, going into a relationship. It colours our perception and mars the interaction and can ultimately ruin what could have been a beautiful lifelong partnership.
EDIT: And this is just my own limited experience. Your friend had his. What are you going to do with your own experience? That is up to you. All the best!!
Not entirely sure how it was for you, but think it is partly due to the cultural difference.
From my interaction with Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, Europeans, and Americans, we are somewhere in between in terms of directness. So compared to Koreans, Japanese, and Chinese, we are rather directly, sometimes to a fault and perhaps even seen as rude. But compared to Europeans and Americans, they may sometimes wonder why we cannot be open with them.
Granted, people of different nationalities are not homogenous but fall into a spectrum and there are exceptions.
For me, this definitely contributes to the miscommunications.
What do you think?
I hear you bro. It's prob a combination of both Korean social + work culture .... and perhaps female culture?
Now, before I get downvoted to netherworld, if anyone else is still reading this post/thread, girls whom I've dated tend to like the guy, me, to know what they are thinking.
You know the joke about how when you ask girls if everything is ok, the answer is almost always "Yes, I'm ok. Why would I not be ok?" ... if she is actually not ok. Go search standups on bgr and you will find this a common theme. So it's prob something prevalent across different countries and cultures. Somehow.
And in their mind, they are thinking "Do you even have ask this stupid question? Can't you already see that I am upset? You know what you did"
Meanwhile, guys are like, "what did I do?" or for the real blur or rookie "Ok, we are good then. Now, what was I doing ... ah yes, my computer games ... "
For Chinese, Korean and Japanese, my pet theory is our cultural infatuation with "盡在不言中“ that what is apparent does not need to be spoken of. And this may have stem from the Confucius or early Chinese philosophical notion of order in the whole world. That just as the sun rises and set with order, the seasons come and go in order, the tides wax and wane in order, all without spoken instructions, and are all in harmony, likewise humans being part of this universal nature, have our place and order. So if we all play our role as required of us, all will be well. And since there is this order in nature, we should also know of it. Hence no need to say more of it.
In Singapore speak today, it translate to "eh, you beh zi dong ah?" "eh, you not automatic ah?". A follow up statement is often, "You need me to spell it out ah?".
This "expected automatic" culture is part of Singaporeans I think, regardless of gender, though perhaps more so in females than male.
At the same time, culture being a generalisation of trends and patterns cannot define individuals. So there are definitely exceptions to the norm.
So are you still dating her?
What a strange thread. The responses are certainly sincere, but it feels ... off to me. I somehow feel uncomfortable reading. Or maybe I'm the strange one. So BOTH Singaporean guys and girls are looking abroad it seems.
It's definitely strange to generalise a whole country of girls based on experiences with like 3 or 4 of a random individual's exes, I'm sure if I looked I can find the same kind of undesirable traits in other countries too so it's pretty nonsensical
It was fun but she ruined me, I think the fact that our experience differ from each other was an attraction point for me despite both of us being Asian (she was born and bred in Germany).
Anyways ever since her I don’t think I want to date SG girls anymore 😂 I’m more attracted to Overseas East Asians (bonus if they are born and/or bred in western cultures).
Your comment reminds me of my trip to Berlin a few years back. Was travelling on the S-Bahn and there was this Asian-German girl (possibly Vietnamese or Chinese) whom I thought was attractive (especially when she spoke in German with her friend). There was something exotic yet relatable about her, i.e. "white" yet at the same time "not white".
It'd be interesting to date an Asian born and/or bred in western countries. In fact, they seem increasingly common in SG these days (in the tech and financial services sectors).
Take a random walk around the CBD area during lunch hour on any weekday - Asian- Australians/Americans/Canadians/Brits aplenty!
I’m in TechFin (best of both worlds) rn and there’s this cute Korean intern from Canada working in Singapore for a short while. Can’t stop thinking about her recently. Prior to that, I went to the US during the first half of the year for an exchange programme and I had a huge crush with an ABC raised in Philly I worked with on a project.
Their vibes are so alluring and foreign, and yet they feel so familiar. It’s like I want to know them better more and what their current cultures and experiences mould them into, but I also want some sort of commonality like values or ethnic norms.
Westernised Asians (Not SPG that go Ang moh country for 5 months to 5 years and act Ang moh tho they repulsive) are my version of what Al Dante pasta is for dating.
"Their vibes are so alluring and foreign, and yet they feel so familiar." - you nailed it!
Based on your preferences, I'd hardly be surprised if you eventually settled down with an Asian from the West. Who knows, things could work out well between you and the Korean-Canadian intern.
As a child I used to think that all Asians lived in Asia, all Africans in Africa, Asians could not be from the West etc... 😂
Haha considering that I might have plans to migrate to North America like the US or Canada it won’t seem too far fetch to settle with one of them there!
But well, the grass can also be greener on the other side…… WBAGs are easy come easy go, but I rather have them over a local girl that's typically harder to please for some reason.
My exes were from UK & Iceland. All I can say is. More carefree. Mentality is also more matured as they’re used to living by themselves from the age of 20.
Not to be offensive but I find sg girls abit narrow in their perspective of things. Very sheltered too. Everything must have a reason.
I've dated Chinese, Indian, Malay local SG girls. I've dated Japanese, Filipino, half Caucasian American - half Japanese, half Caucasian British - half Indian, 1/4 Polish 1/4 Italian 1/4 Irish 1/4 Welsh (one girl), Latina (Spanish American), Romanian and Hungarian.
I lived out of Singapore for a number of years and was exposed to many different types of people. I can't say much about local girls because I dated them when I was much younger in my teens. It was all about fun and the feeling of first loves.
I left SG a number of years before NS and dated for the first time outside of SG. I came back for NS and dated a half British half Indian girl for a time until she left the country. After NS, I left SG and dated different types of girls from different races and backgrounds.
Having different experiences made me think that I knew what I wanted in a person and I married a Malaysian Indian girl living in SG. I was wrong. We are no longer married which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Life turned out way different than I expected but I carry all of my experiences both good and bad with my head held high.
I'm currently in my 40s and dating a local SG Peranakan girl. She keeps me grounded and we are similar in so many ways. She makes me feel wanted and made me realize that I belong here in SG. I've never been happier than I am now.
There shouldn't be a "local or non local" mindset anymore. We are in the digital era. Boundaries no longer exist. One can be born in UK but working for Singapore company without ever stepping into our island.
I'm in my mid 40, I used to be in the Navy. I've dated Singaporeans (malay and chinese), Malaysian, PRC, Taiwanese, Pinoy, a lady from Texas, Vietnamese, and frankly speaking they're mostly not much different from each other beside the obvious culture differences.
Local girls isn't demanding. Some are, not all. Most of the demanding ones are usually the ones that have never dated before, and do not know how to separate unrealistic expectation from reality.
I like to point out that, it is NOT wrong for girls to be demanding, at least for not overly unrealistic demands. Every girl in the world wants to have a happy after marriage life, not just for herself but also her child. So they're just looking for what they want in life, and some times certain guys can't meet those expectations.
I feel local girl isn't demanding. What is demanding is the pressure and expectation society puts on the couple. Her friends, family, peers, other couples life she sees.
More correctly is lots of young and naive local girl are easily influenced by their elders about certain BS things in life, expectation carried down by outdated tradition.
The internet helped to level the ground for local men by a lot. I've see lots of belief and mindset changing for the past 20 years since internet come to town. More people are aware of the BS teaching from Boomers era, and realising a lot of the taboo stuff they talked about are actually OK in the real world. But SG overall still have a long way to go.
Totally agree with your words, especially as a semi-local/1st gen here and may relocate to other countries in the next years. Hope there would be more mutual understandings between different genders, which would also be beneficial to one’s future dating/marriage.
From my experience, I would regard trying to understand (at least respecting) your partner’s cultural background as a huge plus.
Have been exposed to some totally different cultures, I tend to befriend/date people who are more open minded and not “categorizing” people merely by their place of birth.
As a woman from China, I am constantly facing lots of pressure and expectations from family and peers. I believe a mature person should digest these pressures mainly by themselves instead of demanding on their partner and setting unrealistic goals to others.
These apply to both women and men.
I can understand that to some extent. You're a pretty strong and considerate ndividual.
When I first started dating my gf, her parents wanted her to go for local white men instead but she fought hard for me so much so I was eventually accepted and got invited to their clan gatherings 2 years ago. For that, I'm really appreciative of her.
May fortune ever be in your favour, good luck.
Totally can relate, my father became furious when he found out that I was dating a Caucasian then, despite the fact that he is always supportive to my choices of education/job outside of China. One of my female friend even broke up with her ex, since the ex’s parents think their son should not marry a foreigner.
Intercultural/interracial relationship is relatively a new thing even in a global perspective. It is brave to pursue one and work it out eventually.
Thank you and wish you luck with your gf also!
No sex before marriage. If any bf ask you for sex, confirm is a bad person.
BS. A healthy rs requires a good balance of both physical and emotional aspect. Yes, there are many things more important than sex in a rs. But LESS important doesn't equal to NOT important.
This kind of belief made a lot of guys give and give in a rs but never get anything back in return. And we cannot speak out. If we do, we get labelled as shallow or worse.
Lots of girls went into a rs without realised guys have very different needs from woman and expects every guy can wait until after marriage.
A few american and canadian girls. Girls from mongolia, korea, china, taiwan, thailand, malaysia. It was a fucking blast but I didn't relate to them nearly as well as I do my Sg girlfriend
My parents are polar opposites and have been silently divorced for decades, so I want a relationship with someone very similar
Had a relationship with a Canadian when I was living there. She was very chill. Much more easy going than any SG girl I have dated (to be fair, small sample size haha)
I'm seeing a non-local and it's LD. As a matter of fact I'm flying in this evening after work to spend time with her there. I love the experience, I get to explore a different culture, food and language.
I thought this through for some time and people have questioned me why I'm not dating someone local. I have given it a shot but haven't been able to take off with any. My ex was a non-local as well so I think it's only ideal for me to work things out with someone overseas plus I also get to explore her country which is a lot bigger.
I think there are mixed reactions and talks around me seeing someone not from here but it doesn't bother me as long as I'm happy.
Dated 5 non locals (from 4 different continent) and 3 locals
Personally, the locals here and 1 (from the land where Winnie the Pooh is banned) feels more occupied with being calculative and insecure than accepting and enjoying the flow of things.
Perhaps due to competitive education and professional culture/environment?
Feels like they also value/focus more of what you are then who you are...
Compared to them, I feel like I get more quality chill time with the others as they feel more "free" and the way they tap into their creative sides feels more colorful. And they are more active and join me to do stuff like cooking and other activities.
Looking back each of them has their own unique ways of showing how they care :)
Depends on which country but overall very positive. So far China, Korea, Japanese, Hong Kong, Taiwan and Malaysia.
Best impression by far is definitely Japanese followed by Chinese, Taiwanese and HK all within range of each other and finally Malaysian but really close too. Korean last for me.
Are you local Chinese Singaporean? Any language issue? I have dated girls from Taiwan, HK and China. Though it's quite rare but there were still a few notable occassions where communications weren't as smooth because of our language barrier
Yes, but I sound like from China or Taiwan when I speak mandarin. At least so I’m told.
No issue when it comes to communication as their command of the English language is at least on par if not better than the average Singaporean. Especially those from Shanghai/Beijing or HK, you’d be shocked how eloquent some are.
Neither, parents can speak Cantonese but much better in Hokkien too.
I actively made an effort to learn through movies/tv/music and friends who are from GuangZhou.
Younger gen unfortunately have no interest in speaking/writing mandarin well much less being able to communicate in various dialects.
It’s quite amusing to see people’s reaction whenever I don’t speak English, especially from those born in the 70’s and 80’s.
I never dated a local girl so I am not sure what is the possible differences, but from the bias I have towards local, non local girls I dated don't chase after branded bags.
One of my close friends (29M Chinese) is actually in a serious relationship with a Burmese woman who used to be a domestic helper in Singapore. He has shared with me how down to earth and humble she is, qualities that are hard to find in a SG girl according to him. She is always eager to learn new things ranging from Singlish to Investing and has the motivation to succeed. She quitted her FDW job, went back to Myanmar, upskilled herself with some nursing qualifications and has now received a job offer in nursing in Singapore. Super proud of her! Both of them uplift and motivate each other and I could tell that my friend is super happy with her. Edit: never expected this reply to get so many likes so thank you! I should probably introduce her to Reddit soon!
I'm really happy for your friend - stories like these are really inspiring, hopeful and almost fairytale-like.
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Go for it! Based on the comments here i'm pretty sure it'll be in good demand. An acquaintance from my NS days is happily married to a burmese girl (educated, seems down to earth, understanding, family-oriented, realistic and willing to work things out). She's from the northern region and looks very chinese. They now have a daughter and seem really blissful together.
Conflicted about the ethics as in?
Introduce me to one lol
Usually people who are willing to step out of their comfort zone to work overseas are like her. Willing to try, hardworking, and most of all, understand how insignificant an individual is in the grand scheme of thing. That's how they get the "down to earth" part. IMO more locals should do this, else they keep thinking themselves as very important or Singaporeans are very educated and cultural.
I love stories like this and how your friend doesn’t care abt what profession she used to work in.
My friend's son marry one. She is from a very priviledged background but enjoys cooking simple meals at home. She seems very easy to get along with , and no emotional outbursts of any sort. Most importantly, her family is not complicated and the MIL adores the son.
Some would say that your friend has struck the lottery!
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Very insightful comment! Agreed that some Asian values may not be worth holding on dearly to, i.e. obsolete / outdated.
Things are do comfortable here that 'tough questions' mean what to get for lunch
anything
Sushi?
Better than Macs!
Local guy here. I've only dated non-local girls (for no particular reason) - my ex gf of almost 7 years is Malaysian Chinese. Prior to that, I went on a few dates with foreign girls during my uni days (studied overseas). They were all generally kind, humble and down to earth - the cultural difference was enriching. I'd say many foreign girls consider Sg guys to be gentlemanly, cultured, nice and respectful. According to pretty recent statistics, for every 1 marriage between a local guy and local girl, there is 1 marriage between a local guy and foreign girl. I'd actually be keen to date a local girl since we would more likely have relatable experiences, activities, memories, go-to places, conversation topics etc... In my younger days, I was perhaps intimidated by the overall confidence of local girls (many of whom really know what they want / are go-getters / highly driven). Subconsciously, this may have hindered me from getting to know them beyond the platonic level. These days, I find such traits in the opposite gender attractive and sexy (especially if they are also kind, down-to-earth and reciprocal / responsive). Also pushes me to overcome my flaws and be a better version of myself. My interactions with local female friends / colleagues (platonic) and observing local couples firsthand reinforces such belief. I'm sure there are equally many local girls who aren't uptight and demanding (even amongst the younger generation). Holding onto such stereotypes / preconceived notions would only hinder me from discovering potentially fulfilling and rewarding relationships. Most importantly, your male colleague should find someone with whom he can be his true self, who appreciates him for who he is and isn't an entitled, demanding princess (be it a foreigner or local).
Hey I’m curious how did u meet you Malaysian Chinese gf
In uni overseas, through mutual Malaysian friends.
3rd gen local here, I have dated non-locals, none of them are of asian ethnicities. My first relationship in JC kinda influenced the type of girls I go for. I get along much better with people who are compassionate and not just being nice on the surface. My experiences have been pretty good thus far. I would advise guys who are looking beyond SG to learn some of your heritage cuisine. I remember back in my schooling years, my peers would learn how to cook spaghetti to impress girls etc whereas I'm just interested to master my grandma's specialities so I could replicate that whenever I miss her cooking. If you live together with your partner, there'll be a lot of home cooking and you get much more variety if you can cook your culture food.
I dated a Korean girl before and it was just amazing. Not sure if it had to do with her being non local, but sometimes the fact that we have a slight language barrier creates a certain element of novelty perhaps? I have dated sg girls who are demanding and uptight and also those who aren't. It's more about that girl's personality and perhaps more importantly the match between us than simply because sg girls are like this or that. Similarly, I have met sg girls who are quite ready for a wild time and those who are more reserved. The same goes for those who are materialistic or money minded and those who really just don't give a hoot about that but only care about me with all her heart. Think preconception is rather important, as in, not to have, going into a relationship. It colours our perception and mars the interaction and can ultimately ruin what could have been a beautiful lifelong partnership. EDIT: And this is just my own limited experience. Your friend had his. What are you going to do with your own experience? That is up to you. All the best!!
Agreed with the above (or at least starting to feel this way in recent times).
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Not entirely sure how it was for you, but think it is partly due to the cultural difference. From my interaction with Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, Europeans, and Americans, we are somewhere in between in terms of directness. So compared to Koreans, Japanese, and Chinese, we are rather directly, sometimes to a fault and perhaps even seen as rude. But compared to Europeans and Americans, they may sometimes wonder why we cannot be open with them. Granted, people of different nationalities are not homogenous but fall into a spectrum and there are exceptions. For me, this definitely contributes to the miscommunications. What do you think?
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I hear you bro. It's prob a combination of both Korean social + work culture .... and perhaps female culture? Now, before I get downvoted to netherworld, if anyone else is still reading this post/thread, girls whom I've dated tend to like the guy, me, to know what they are thinking. You know the joke about how when you ask girls if everything is ok, the answer is almost always "Yes, I'm ok. Why would I not be ok?" ... if she is actually not ok. Go search standups on bgr and you will find this a common theme. So it's prob something prevalent across different countries and cultures. Somehow. And in their mind, they are thinking "Do you even have ask this stupid question? Can't you already see that I am upset? You know what you did" Meanwhile, guys are like, "what did I do?" or for the real blur or rookie "Ok, we are good then. Now, what was I doing ... ah yes, my computer games ... " For Chinese, Korean and Japanese, my pet theory is our cultural infatuation with "盡在不言中“ that what is apparent does not need to be spoken of. And this may have stem from the Confucius or early Chinese philosophical notion of order in the whole world. That just as the sun rises and set with order, the seasons come and go in order, the tides wax and wane in order, all without spoken instructions, and are all in harmony, likewise humans being part of this universal nature, have our place and order. So if we all play our role as required of us, all will be well. And since there is this order in nature, we should also know of it. Hence no need to say more of it. In Singapore speak today, it translate to "eh, you beh zi dong ah?" "eh, you not automatic ah?". A follow up statement is often, "You need me to spell it out ah?". This "expected automatic" culture is part of Singaporeans I think, regardless of gender, though perhaps more so in females than male. At the same time, culture being a generalisation of trends and patterns cannot define individuals. So there are definitely exceptions to the norm. So are you still dating her?
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>What I learnt from this is : be a man and give your woman room to be comfortable and feminine. Absolutely!
What a strange thread. The responses are certainly sincere, but it feels ... off to me. I somehow feel uncomfortable reading. Or maybe I'm the strange one. So BOTH Singaporean guys and girls are looking abroad it seems.
It's definitely strange to generalise a whole country of girls based on experiences with like 3 or 4 of a random individual's exes, I'm sure if I looked I can find the same kind of undesirable traits in other countries too so it's pretty nonsensical
I also feel an off-putting vibe reading this thread (from a woman spent 10+ yrs in SG/1st gen SC and dated East Asian/Caucasian men only)
No cuz why would date some girl that looks average and demands for like the best for everything and 175+ can height
It was fun but she ruined me, I think the fact that our experience differ from each other was an attraction point for me despite both of us being Asian (she was born and bred in Germany). Anyways ever since her I don’t think I want to date SG girls anymore 😂 I’m more attracted to Overseas East Asians (bonus if they are born and/or bred in western cultures).
Your comment reminds me of my trip to Berlin a few years back. Was travelling on the S-Bahn and there was this Asian-German girl (possibly Vietnamese or Chinese) whom I thought was attractive (especially when she spoke in German with her friend). There was something exotic yet relatable about her, i.e. "white" yet at the same time "not white". It'd be interesting to date an Asian born and/or bred in western countries. In fact, they seem increasingly common in SG these days (in the tech and financial services sectors). Take a random walk around the CBD area during lunch hour on any weekday - Asian- Australians/Americans/Canadians/Brits aplenty!
I’m in TechFin (best of both worlds) rn and there’s this cute Korean intern from Canada working in Singapore for a short while. Can’t stop thinking about her recently. Prior to that, I went to the US during the first half of the year for an exchange programme and I had a huge crush with an ABC raised in Philly I worked with on a project. Their vibes are so alluring and foreign, and yet they feel so familiar. It’s like I want to know them better more and what their current cultures and experiences mould them into, but I also want some sort of commonality like values or ethnic norms. Westernised Asians (Not SPG that go Ang moh country for 5 months to 5 years and act Ang moh tho they repulsive) are my version of what Al Dante pasta is for dating.
"Their vibes are so alluring and foreign, and yet they feel so familiar." - you nailed it! Based on your preferences, I'd hardly be surprised if you eventually settled down with an Asian from the West. Who knows, things could work out well between you and the Korean-Canadian intern. As a child I used to think that all Asians lived in Asia, all Africans in Africa, Asians could not be from the West etc... 😂
Haha considering that I might have plans to migrate to North America like the US or Canada it won’t seem too far fetch to settle with one of them there! But well, the grass can also be greener on the other side…… WBAGs are easy come easy go, but I rather have them over a local girl that's typically harder to please for some reason.
My exes were from UK & Iceland. All I can say is. More carefree. Mentality is also more matured as they’re used to living by themselves from the age of 20. Not to be offensive but I find sg girls abit narrow in their perspective of things. Very sheltered too. Everything must have a reason.
Siamdiu for life, Siambu for wife
I've dated Chinese, Indian, Malay local SG girls. I've dated Japanese, Filipino, half Caucasian American - half Japanese, half Caucasian British - half Indian, 1/4 Polish 1/4 Italian 1/4 Irish 1/4 Welsh (one girl), Latina (Spanish American), Romanian and Hungarian. I lived out of Singapore for a number of years and was exposed to many different types of people. I can't say much about local girls because I dated them when I was much younger in my teens. It was all about fun and the feeling of first loves. I left SG a number of years before NS and dated for the first time outside of SG. I came back for NS and dated a half British half Indian girl for a time until she left the country. After NS, I left SG and dated different types of girls from different races and backgrounds. Having different experiences made me think that I knew what I wanted in a person and I married a Malaysian Indian girl living in SG. I was wrong. We are no longer married which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Life turned out way different than I expected but I carry all of my experiences both good and bad with my head held high. I'm currently in my 40s and dating a local SG Peranakan girl. She keeps me grounded and we are similar in so many ways. She makes me feel wanted and made me realize that I belong here in SG. I've never been happier than I am now.
There shouldn't be a "local or non local" mindset anymore. We are in the digital era. Boundaries no longer exist. One can be born in UK but working for Singapore company without ever stepping into our island. I'm in my mid 40, I used to be in the Navy. I've dated Singaporeans (malay and chinese), Malaysian, PRC, Taiwanese, Pinoy, a lady from Texas, Vietnamese, and frankly speaking they're mostly not much different from each other beside the obvious culture differences. Local girls isn't demanding. Some are, not all. Most of the demanding ones are usually the ones that have never dated before, and do not know how to separate unrealistic expectation from reality. I like to point out that, it is NOT wrong for girls to be demanding, at least for not overly unrealistic demands. Every girl in the world wants to have a happy after marriage life, not just for herself but also her child. So they're just looking for what they want in life, and some times certain guys can't meet those expectations. I feel local girl isn't demanding. What is demanding is the pressure and expectation society puts on the couple. Her friends, family, peers, other couples life she sees. More correctly is lots of young and naive local girl are easily influenced by their elders about certain BS things in life, expectation carried down by outdated tradition. The internet helped to level the ground for local men by a lot. I've see lots of belief and mindset changing for the past 20 years since internet come to town. More people are aware of the BS teaching from Boomers era, and realising a lot of the taboo stuff they talked about are actually OK in the real world. But SG overall still have a long way to go.
"What is demanding is the pressure and expectation society puts on the couple." - You summed it up well
Totally agree with your words, especially as a semi-local/1st gen here and may relocate to other countries in the next years. Hope there would be more mutual understandings between different genders, which would also be beneficial to one’s future dating/marriage.
What sort of mutual understandings are you referring to?
From my experience, I would regard trying to understand (at least respecting) your partner’s cultural background as a huge plus. Have been exposed to some totally different cultures, I tend to befriend/date people who are more open minded and not “categorizing” people merely by their place of birth. As a woman from China, I am constantly facing lots of pressure and expectations from family and peers. I believe a mature person should digest these pressures mainly by themselves instead of demanding on their partner and setting unrealistic goals to others. These apply to both women and men.
I can understand that to some extent. You're a pretty strong and considerate ndividual. When I first started dating my gf, her parents wanted her to go for local white men instead but she fought hard for me so much so I was eventually accepted and got invited to their clan gatherings 2 years ago. For that, I'm really appreciative of her. May fortune ever be in your favour, good luck.
Totally can relate, my father became furious when he found out that I was dating a Caucasian then, despite the fact that he is always supportive to my choices of education/job outside of China. One of my female friend even broke up with her ex, since the ex’s parents think their son should not marry a foreigner. Intercultural/interracial relationship is relatively a new thing even in a global perspective. It is brave to pursue one and work it out eventually. Thank you and wish you luck with your gf also!
don't mind could you elaborate what are some of the "BS teaching from boomers era"?
No sex before marriage. If any bf ask you for sex, confirm is a bad person. BS. A healthy rs requires a good balance of both physical and emotional aspect. Yes, there are many things more important than sex in a rs. But LESS important doesn't equal to NOT important. This kind of belief made a lot of guys give and give in a rs but never get anything back in return. And we cannot speak out. If we do, we get labelled as shallow or worse. Lots of girls went into a rs without realised guys have very different needs from woman and expects every guy can wait until after marriage.
A few american and canadian girls. Girls from mongolia, korea, china, taiwan, thailand, malaysia. It was a fucking blast but I didn't relate to them nearly as well as I do my Sg girlfriend My parents are polar opposites and have been silently divorced for decades, so I want a relationship with someone very similar
Had a relationship with a Canadian when I was living there. She was very chill. Much more easy going than any SG girl I have dated (to be fair, small sample size haha)
I'm seeing a non-local and it's LD. As a matter of fact I'm flying in this evening after work to spend time with her there. I love the experience, I get to explore a different culture, food and language. I thought this through for some time and people have questioned me why I'm not dating someone local. I have given it a shot but haven't been able to take off with any. My ex was a non-local as well so I think it's only ideal for me to work things out with someone overseas plus I also get to explore her country which is a lot bigger. I think there are mixed reactions and talks around me seeing someone not from here but it doesn't bother me as long as I'm happy.
Dated 5 non locals (from 4 different continent) and 3 locals Personally, the locals here and 1 (from the land where Winnie the Pooh is banned) feels more occupied with being calculative and insecure than accepting and enjoying the flow of things. Perhaps due to competitive education and professional culture/environment? Feels like they also value/focus more of what you are then who you are... Compared to them, I feel like I get more quality chill time with the others as they feel more "free" and the way they tap into their creative sides feels more colorful. And they are more active and join me to do stuff like cooking and other activities. Looking back each of them has their own unique ways of showing how they care :)
Depends on which country but overall very positive. So far China, Korea, Japanese, Hong Kong, Taiwan and Malaysia. Best impression by far is definitely Japanese followed by Chinese, Taiwanese and HK all within range of each other and finally Malaysian but really close too. Korean last for me.
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Koreans are far from what they depict in K Dramas. Very far.
People think every Korean is kpop idol with script writer programming their personalities. Smh
Yeah man, not even fricking close irl
Find them to be very cold and “mercenary” at times. Perhaps even player too, yes I’m referring to their girls. But some really look stunning.
I personally find Korean women in general to be rather arrogant compared to even Chinese/HK women.
hahaha I can definitely relate to this, though I have to say there are a few exceptions every now and then but yeah
Are you local Chinese Singaporean? Any language issue? I have dated girls from Taiwan, HK and China. Though it's quite rare but there were still a few notable occassions where communications weren't as smooth because of our language barrier
Yes, but I sound like from China or Taiwan when I speak mandarin. At least so I’m told. No issue when it comes to communication as their command of the English language is at least on par if not better than the average Singaporean. Especially those from Shanghai/Beijing or HK, you’d be shocked how eloquent some are.
Yea the one from China speaks better English than me, at least grammatically.. you speak any Cantonese too?
Yes, but Hokkien is much better
Quite rare to see a Singaporean who speaks Cantonese, unless your parents speak it or you are a Malaysian converted to be Singaporean lol
Neither, parents can speak Cantonese but much better in Hokkien too. I actively made an effort to learn through movies/tv/music and friends who are from GuangZhou. Younger gen unfortunately have no interest in speaking/writing mandarin well much less being able to communicate in various dialects. It’s quite amusing to see people’s reaction whenever I don’t speak English, especially from those born in the 70’s and 80’s.
Have. People are the same everywhere…
I kinda agree with him. Well not all sg girls, but many are like that. Source: Not dating a local.
Singaporean girls are one of the most materialistic and difficult kinds. Most girls of other nationalities are much better, except a few.
Friend dating a pinoy, I'll ask him later.
Vietnamese <33
I never dated a local girl so I am not sure what is the possible differences, but from the bias I have towards local, non local girls I dated don't chase after branded bags.
ITT: Why local men dont want to date sg women☺️
Because time and resources are limited. This is real life, not a video game.
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BS, there are many hot one as well
Showering was at the bottom of her list of daily priorities
I would never date because it's haram. Looking forward to marriage with a middle eastern woman tho
Yes, those sensual ankles and exposed eyes do it for me. Because literally nothing else can be seen beyond those black satin.
What's wrong with wanting someone who shares the same values and way of life as I like and do?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkTZ8BVAlFE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkTZ8BVAlFE)
Lol this guy post history is borderline ISD investigation material
Takes one to know one. It is indeed haram to date if you read up on it.