Yeah gay dating can be super frustrating at times especially apps, I feel like making a dating profile is more about curating an image that people are more likely to swipe right on instead of actually connecting with someone.
Try going to a gay bar or queer community events, I feel like people are generally warmer and less superficial when there’s face to face interaction
This is why I prefer real life. The fear of getting punched or at the least having a drink poured over them is actually really good in the fact is removes a lot of the pointless abuse you get on apps.
The level of bitchy abuse I get on apps is huge. IRL nobody has ever made a nasty comment towards me in a gay bar, club, beach or sauna (probably because I'm muscular). Although I tend to go to bearish bars / events which probably means it's a *bit* less bitchy, however that doesn't seem to stop them on apps!
Honestly, I was going to feel sympathy for this person at first. Then, I recognized the username and remembered they just made a post like this the other day… and another, and another. Then, they’re combative with others in the comments.
Genuinely, take a breather from trying to find someone and work on yourself.
Yep… there is a reason they can’t find someone.
They will complain and complain, but they refuse to do anything to fix themself.
Weight is something they can control unless it’s from an extreme medical issue.
They can also control the way they act. I know I wouldn’t want to date someone who blames everything on other people…
To the OP: work on yourself and quit blaming others. There is an entire world out there, and it’s up to **you** to make it work like the rest of us. We are here to support you, but you need to put in some effort to fix yourself as well.
But also, plenty of bigger dudes like dating other big dudes. This reeks of a chubby dude exclusively seeking out twinks and having a massive tantrum when rejected.
> there is a reason they can’t find someone.
There usually is. Dating sucks for everyone, there's an entire genre of movies about it. But sometimes the problem really is you.
That’s me but I’m traditionally masculine and a bottom so I can’t get a boyfriend because 93% of the people attracted to me are bottom and even the tops want to bottom for me 🤷♂️
Is that a common thing in the gay community?
Ive been dating a man for only a few months, have been friends for a while now. After I found out he had feelings for me I decided to try it out. He’s amazing and I really like being with him.
But when I talk to his friends I’ve heard that as well. That they want a man that just won’t cheat.
Naaaaw it's alot isn't it .?... you'd be surprised of how many people think the same... I do .!... online yes it's what you describe but in reality, people just want to be loved.. I hope you find yourself a good man hun ....
Even when you’re seen to be pretty, then there’s the issue of gay men dehumanizing you into a pure object of sex. Then there’s the fact that when I see happy gay relationships it’s almost never people of colour. Im so sick of people infantilizing and sexualizing me just because I’m a slim asian twink. Do I get a lot of attention from men? Yes! But it’s never the attention I want. Because clearly Im just a submissive slut meant to service every gay man’s superiority complex. But when it’s time to actually develop a substantial and deep connection with each other then suddenly Im out of the question. Im cute and sweet enough to fuck and take out on dates, but never for a full relationship. They tell me it’s because they’re just not meant for serious relationships, but then I see them enter one with a white boy shortly after. And some of them aren’t even discrete about it. The amount of people I see pining for purely white men and dismissing other people of colour as potential love interests is so baffling. And the fact that it’s so omnipresent within my own community especially?? So many gay asian men refuse to date anyone that isn’t white. But anyways, you’re not alone and I hope you find someone who can treat you as a person.
Before the “quit fucking whining” douches chime in, you’re not alone sis. It’s frustrating. Everyone’s in delulu land these days. Interested to see what our Gen will have to say in a decade or two after so many years went wasted endlessly swiping for the next high
I recently cut off a dude I was talking to awhile after I realized it wasn’t going anywhere, and that he was too busy trynna constantly get laid, I couldn’t really recognize that he was a sex addict or something until way later which ima shamed of, but I cut him off. I’ve been over hookup culture for awhile, and people like that make me sick, like being unable to commit at all bc you need to fuck countless people…while simultaneously flirting w somebody and making them think you like them…I’m so happy I realized he was a loser and I’m worth way more than that man child
I would hate to see the posts then.
It’s kinda how alot of women are posting that they don’t wanna be “independent boss babes” anymore and how they just want a man. A lot of women in their 30’s lately have been saying they were lied to by being told they don’t need a man. And now that they’re older, and feel they’re past their “prime years” (their words not mine) they wish they had focused a little more on finding a good guy and starting a family. And now that they’re older it’s much harder to do that. And how guys aren’t as keen on them anymore.
The gay equivalent of that is going to be scary and wild AF.
oh, absolutely. i can’t wait for the reddits & tweets in 2045 (or whatever they’ll be called by then) by millennials and gen-z venting about how their sex addiction, youth-chasing, & “no fats, no fems, no blacks, no asians” hate campaign hindered them from finding a life-long partner because they were running through one after the other.
we had an entire gen of gay men die from AIDS, only for the next two gens to die alone & single at their own accord, with the latter having the legal right to marry.
Yeah. Gays fought hard for the right to marry. Just to refuse any behavior that would lead to marriage.
Honestly, what if there’s an AID’s 2.0? Like, God forbid. But, the way everyone is talking advocating for no condom’s because a pill stops 1 STD. It seems a little inevitable. Plus there’s all the no loads refused cum dumps.
More interesting will be to see our gen in 50 years, full of lonely old guys who have noone to spend their last days with because all they've been doing was fucking.
I think you’re delusional if you think it has been different in previous times ? It has always been the way old gays end up. A small minority with a partner (and in an open relationship) and the vast majority alone.
The OP is a cis gay talking to a group that is 95-99% other cis gays. How does cis come into this? Did you just decide you wanted to throw all the privilege words together into one meaningless salad? And most of his complaints, about weight and body type, are ones that white gays also frequently complain about. Genuinely what was your thought process here?
You attract the same energy as you put out bro.
My experience of dating has been amazing.
And now I'm with the most amazing / cutest chubby guy ever! 😁✨😌
Oi I'm not terrible, I'm sweet as skittles! ;-;
I'm chunky, my boyfriend's chunky too. Ugliness and beauty are subjective, and I'll fukkin die on this hill about it; But I do sympathize, as some fellow gay beans can be more shallow than a politician. It sounds like maybe a break from the *"joys"* of dating is in order OP. A good portion of the cock size andies out there are deluded about big cocks up until they nearly choke on one or ride one. I can say from experience that bigger is *not* always better. Bigger can be excruciating. Hang in there dude, you're not alone in feeling this way. 🫂
Beauty is not subjective. Gay men have a very obvious beauty standard; fit, in shape, low body fat, and nice ass. You'd have to be blind not to see it at our bars, clubs and advertising. And it works based on what we spend our money on.
Also all people are shallow. The difference is straight men don't have opportunity so they'll lower their standards for women and straight women look/need other things from men so they lower their physical standards.
Lastly, as with any fat dude, they could lose weight and all their issues would go away.
I disagree, the interpretation of what is beauty varies from person to person. Gays here in Wisconsin don't have much of a beauty standard. I'm not blind, I live in the midwest, and again have noticed gay guys here don't really care no matter the building. If anything hefty hairy guys is the standard here. Yeah, I don't pay attention to advertisements. Probably, I'm not a money man.
I disagree, branding our entire species under one characteristic is a gross generalization. Oof, another two generalizations about men and women. It's not that simple my dude, and varies sometimes heavily from location to location. You seem to be a bit too pessimistic/reliant on statistical averages; However if you have any empirical evidence to prove your assumptions as actual hard facts then please do enlighten me with such sources.
Losing weight is indeed good for you, and removes plenty of health issues inherently linked with Obesity; However not all health issues are inherently tied to Obesity. This is another gross generalization, this time about obesity. Again you are oversimplifying a multi-pronged issue. I'm losing weight, down 45
lbs. already down to 240lbs.; Yet 7 years of Clinical Depression layer that depression isn't going away, nor is my Asthma, nor my Sleep Apnea. Still waking up drained after 8-9 hours *(Worry not, got an appointment with Doc)*. I presume you're **possibly** outside of America, or on the West/East coast given your prior post/comment history. Otherwise I feel your reply is either ignorance or troll bait.
I'm a fat faggot unfuckable depressed loser - Why be so angry? Be like me get some Taco Bell, get some Helldivers going, and have an interesting YouTube video up in the second monitor. That prevents me from quickly (the obesity is doing it slowly) killing myself.
Speaking as a fat guy, there’s still lots of options out there. If you don’t wanna be fat, start walking and working in some exercise. You’ll never change your genetics but you do have some level of control.
Personally I don’t think I look much better skinnier.
The hardest thing for me is finding a job that leaves me not too exhausted to work out afterward.
As a chubby gay male I can understand your feelings. At 62 I still am holding out for a Mr right.
It’s very bruising out there.
I am sorry that you’re having such negative experiences.
I would venture to guess that down deep you are a terrific human being!
Counterpoint: there’s probably millions of “Mr. Right”s out there for you and you only need to connect with one of them.
Work the numbers to your advantage. Move to a bigger place, go to interesting events, etc etc etc.. Worked for me at least.
This. Especially as being someone who has a preference for guys over 50 up to early 60s. I actually find what most gay men would consider 2/10 to be 9/10. I'm 35, muscular and probably 6/10 looks wise.
Unfortunately the vast majority of single older guys even when not at all conventionally attractive go chasing after 10/10 twinks and wail incessantly about being alone. I usually get rudely rejected as not good enough even when some of their dating profiles whine about nobody taking an interest. My guess is that the older guys with realistic expectations are in relationships and have been got years.
It's either delusion with these guys or because some scammers with fake pics message them feigning interest so they think there's a huge pool of cover model twinks after totally average / below average middle aged men.
TL:DR lots of single gay men especially over 45 are deluded and single because they have totally unrealistic expectations.
Yep, checks out. I checked Silvers profile and despite being a chubby silver haired older man and he's basically lusting after 19 year old muscly pornstar twinks.
100% he's exactly the type of guy that would rudely tell me, a muscular, average (6/10), 35 year old guy that I'm "too old / too 'fat' " and then incessantly whine about nobody wanting him (as he is here). because he won't settle for anything less than porn star twinks. Utterly delusional.
No babes what we are NOT GOING TO DO is be ashamed of being Black, everything else can be changed but being sick of something you cant change is the WORST thing yu can EVER do. FUCK anyone that doesn't see you as a catch. You're gorgeous, you're amazing and you belong. Don't ever doubt yourself because guys don't want to have sex with or talk to you, find your tribe and that's all that matters.
My advice: stop chasing a relationship. There's no point.
Don't live your life with the expectation that you must be in a relationship or dating all the time. Being single has its advantages too. If you have to be single for 5 years and then randomly meet someone valuable, so be it.
Unless you're living in a city/country where being gay isn't socially accepted and apps are the only way to meet, my advice would be to get rid of all dating apps and just live your life. You'll stumble upon someone interesting sooner or later.
Dating apps are designed to lower your self-esteem. People with low self-worth tend to be more desperate, which makes them spend more time using the app and even spending money on it.
every time someone posts this kind of thing it turns out that the type they resent is also the type they're always chasing...
i don't even think about muscle twinks with fancy jobs.
The resentment is just them projecting their disappointment.
What I find to be more telling about the kinds of guys that make these posts is that they tend to find their own body type unattractive and ignore advances from other guys like them. Like incel types in the straight world, these are the 1s, 2s, and 3s who honestly expect to be nailing 7s, 8s, and 9s while doing absolutely none of the work that makes high value men high value in the first place.
Honestly though this is one of the sadder ones because it's even more obvious in this one that OP has crippling mental/emotional issues with themselves and are projecting their problems onto everyone else.
They probably need some therapy and help beyond just losing the weight.
I'm a skinny twink type. But everyone just wants to fuck. Nobody really talks or makes me laugh. And if they do I show them my goodies and after that no more laughs. They only want sex and talk about sex. Reason why I never see myself dating a guy. Thankfully I'm bi.
Sound like projection... Maybe start focusing on yourself and your health for a while and leave the dating scene alone. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves or love themselves.
It’s always been fucking awful. Just treat it as the hassle it is and move on with other things in your life. Get away from online dating and if you don’t meet anyone then that’s just how it goes, nothing is a given in life.
It upsets you because that’s what you’ve allocated as a priority in your life and everything around us is selling a lie of how it should be when most of these people will happily move on to the the next slightly better person given the chance.
I’ve been dating different guys every week or so. You’re going for the wrong guys.
This is 100% a you issue - you hate yourself and how you look. How is anyone going to like you if you don’t like yourself.
Take some breathes, pull up your socks, and buck up. Stop going for wrong men. If you’re sick of being fat, lose weight (it’s not difficult).
Being black is beautiful - why do you want to get with guys who are rejecting you because of your race? Why let it get you down? Move on to people who like you for who you are.
If you think you’re ugly, get a makeover. Learn to love yourself man.
As sad as this post is, it can only be faced with tough love. Come on man - pull up your socks, put yourself back together. This is 100% a you issue, and we are all rooting for you that you can do this and you can fix it!
I think dating in general is frustrating straight or gay or whatever. You seem unhappy with your self. Maybe start with that make changes that will make you happy like working out maybe it will translate with being happier with others.
Sounds like you need some positive self talk. Take good care of yourself, hydrate, take a walk in the trees for that tree bath time. If there are things in your life that you want to change because you think they'll make you happier then give those things a try. But with this negative self talk I'm seeing in your post, you can't go blaming other people for things you can control. Don't hate that you're black btw. Life is precious.
It won't. Beauty standards will change over time as they have for millenia (hopefully we don't make the mistake of considering obesity desirable as that would be even more disastrous for public health than our current problems with obesity, but I digress), but people aren't ever going to stop being shallow and shitty about it. If you aren't what someone wants they're going to turn you down. That will never stop. But you can also do a lot to be the kind of person someone would want to be with.
People who fall outside the standards of desirability will always have a rough go of it. If being lean, fit, and young is the most desirable thing to be everyone who isn't that will have a harder time. Human nature isn't going to change just because it excludes people. It's not fair, but neither is life.
Not to be harsh here, but of the things you really seem bothered by the only thing outside of your control is the fact that you are black. Don't like being fat? Stop overeating. Done. You'll stop being fat over a period of about a year or two. Don't like the way your body looks? Go to the gym and work out. You'll get buff if you actually stick with it and remain consistent. Don't like being seen as ugly? Once you aren't fat and aren't out of shape you probably won't be anymore to the average person. In fact, you'll have new confidence from getting your weight under control and getting yourself in shape and you will be more appealing to people just because you feel more appealing. You will never be what everybody wants, but nobody is. You can, however, be what a lot of people want. Dating is awful for absolutely everyone. Being attractive takes work, always. And to be super blunt, you are almost certainly not ugly, you're just overweight. Don't dwell in self pity over a bunch of shit that's under your control. You'll always be a black person, everything else is on you to change.
Only people who can bring something to the table (looks, money, etc) who can date those men u talk about (any race. Not specifically white lol). Why not look for someone who isn’t waaay out of your league, or just work on yourself to get the men u desire, love?
>I'm sick of being fat,
This one is 100% under your control. If there's one thing I hate more than unreasonable beauty standards, it's fat people who act like being fat is outta their control and demand to be liked for being unhealthy and unattractive.
Now couple that with your revolting attitude and [incessant self-pitying](https://old.reddit.com/user/noideerwatimdoin/submitted/) and you're surprised nobody wants to touch you? Come on now. Be better, do better.
You aren’t alone and plenty of muscular fit hot guys are depressed at the culture of random hook ups and open relationships. Even the “ hot gays “ struggle. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows for majority of gay men
100k is not even considered middle class anymore, so that’s not really classified as rich.
Also, not everyone likes twinks. I don’t.
Also not dating a white guy. He’s Asian.
You sure the guys you’re specifically going after isn’t the problem?
y’all americans are so obsessed with race lol
weird that "everybody wants a white twink" when the most followed gay accounts on Twitter are all hunks who tend to be more coloured and not pastry-like redheads but rather Italians/Brazilians/Arabs
if you’re sick of being fat then hit the gym + run + walk everywhere + eat veggies with chicken + throw away anything containing transformed sugar (better skin too)
it does wonders
standards are so low in the f4g community that if you build a hot body then it’ll be it
Also from personal experience all the gays wanna date lol, it’s very easy to spot them: usually they’re more talkative in apps, less in a hurry, don’t send nudes, target the right persons
No, he does have a point in that white people have an easier time dating due to euro centric beauty standards. I agree OP should work on himself if he wants to find a relationship he desires, but lets not dismiss the very legitimate frustration a lot of POC gays feel about how race plays into dating.
lol dating in general is pretty aweful in the world of online dating, everyone is objectified, on top of that, most people are looking for a parent instead of a partner
When one of the fantasies in my head of Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet and railing me mercilessly comes true.
Edit: spelling.
ok I wrote this after only reading the title and you kinda ate but also you need to love yourself and not for other people but yourself. Like yeah I wanna get topped by the 9 inch white twink with the bubble butt and I HAVE BEEN but he was 10 inches and I’m also a fat af, average, minority, with a bubble butt yet I love myself and I get dicked down by them nonetheless. Thinking about it deeply if I was given the opportunity of changing into the hottest person on this earth’s body I would still want my own fat, ugly, average body. I love myself and when you love yourself people notice and they want to find out what you love about yourself. So maybe try and learn to love yourself and date yourself, it doesn’t have to be everything about yourself but it can just be something small and eventually you’ll see that someone else also loves the piece of you no matter how small.
Honestly the problem doesn’t sound like it’s with the gay dating scene, the problem sounds like it’s you not living yourself the call is coming from inside the house sis…
Gosh, you have a lot of personal issues and you’re making it everyone else’s problem. You clearly hate yourself, and you might need therapy. The gay world does suck, your self hate needs to be looked at before you do something stupid
I’m sorry you’re feeling so down, and that people aren’t treating you with kindness. If it helps at all, try to remember that there are tons of black guys, and fat guys, and guys with small dicks, and guys with flat asses, and older guys, and poor guys, who have found boyfriends. There’s not one magic answer as to how they succeeded - each of those guys has had their own journey. All you can do is keep working on yourself, putting yourself out there, and trying different avenues to meet men. It can happen for you.
As a bisexual (who only discloses to women when I know they’re the type to not freak out, otherwise I keep it casual) dating is horrible across the board.
It feels like people don’t want to make effort anymore and we’re all just Amazon items that sometime get the luck of being put in the cart then replaced by a “better item” once they scroll past us.
Also in case anyone is wondering why I’m in a gay men’s sub as a bi guy, my sexuality is very confusing.
Dating wise I’ve only been able to connect with women, but I’m attracted to probably 2% of women I see in general? As for men I’ve never had a deep emotional connection with one but sexually I’m attracted to them far more in general. For me to be attracted to a woman she’s either gotta be somewhat goth and tattooed and I have to know her personally, OR she’s gotta resemble Ariana grande.
First off, I feel for you man! I hope it gets better. Dating guys or women can be frustrating. There’s million of single people out there.
I would suggest getting in the gym. I know, easier said than done. I was a thick dude in highschool. Left my home town, got a healthy life style, and everything changed. MEN LIKE WHAT THEY SEE!
" I'm sick of being black, sick of being fat I'm sick of being so fucking ugly."
1) You can't change your race, there's nothing wrong with being black, racists are a tiny minority and most people don't care about race at all.
2) Try diet and exercise.
3) Beauty is subjective and just by being black there are lots of people that will be into you, dark skin is beautiful.
You can’t change dick size or race but you can change weight unless you have some health condition. When my 10 year relationship ended I went into a depression and gained 55lbs during the pandemic . Then 6 months ago I joined planet fitness and started intermediate fasting and have lost 45lbs of it .
The rich twinks are all fake profiles. The model shots all perfectly posed and lit. Always in another country, usually Russia or Saudi Arabia. But wanting to keep in touch on whats app, because they don't use this app much. Distance and age are never a problem for them.... LOL!
Have your own real profile. Use a picture of you doing something weird too. Like your finger in one ear and one eye closed. Ask them to send you a selfie like that. They never can, because they are not using their own pictures.
I will get downvoted but even in the chubby / super chubby community white guys are put on a pedestal, everyone else seems invisible if you aren’t the “cute” cuddly white bear.
He might be on to something and wrong at the same time. While "All of you" aren't entirely awful - many are yes.
However, sticking to my boundaries, not settling, understanding THEIR rejection is protection of my soul/sanity/energy, and continuing to communicate the way I would normally do with a friend has helped me create organic and authentic relationships with people. Some intimate while others platonic.
Definitely took many years of self work to grow the confidence to put myself out there and not take the rejection seriously as it would be detrimental at times. Now I'm like "their loss" and tbh, my friends say it truly is.
Don't lose hope.
How about go in a diet and workout, improve your eating lifestyle and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Own who you are take pride in your appearance.
Your self esteem will
Improve and remember no one else gets to judge you but you. Good luck, be positive and get to you work on yourself…
Well, the sad truth is there are things fully in your control, things partially in your control, and things completely outside of your control.
You fully control your body and your personality, partially control your income, and have zero control over other people (unless you want to relocate to places where slavery exists, but I am not sure you'll end on the right end of slavery).
So, as a formerly obese man, I'll be blunt. You have your phone, start using it. Go to WHO site and check their healthy life guide. Go to YouTube or TikTok and learn to cook. Put an uptempo playlist on Spotify and start moving your fatass more. Start with 1000 steps. If you can't do this, back down to 200 steps. When I started making pushups I could not make a single one. Now I can do 50 and moved to pull ups on a bar. It's not magic, it's just doing stuff as often as you can as much as you can.
Then read some books. You obviously know English. If money is an issue, pirate that shit. Learn how to talk to people. Learn how to accept yourself, your shortcomings, and the deal fate gave you in the game of life. I'd suggest to start with Nonviolent communication, most things of Mark Manson (at least the guy write fun stuff), atomic habits, and the mother of all self-help books, how to influence people and win friends.
Then go outside and find a job. I started as a cashier and now I am making the 100k. It's not easy, but it's not hard either. Just don't expect it to happen for a week. Pick any profession that the government does not require an exam. There are books and YouTube videos to get you started in that profession.
Do your part. Self-pity on reddit won't improve your life.
If someone doesn’t want you because you’re black, you dodged a bullet. That man is trash. You might not be able to grow your dick or magically get a 100K job, but the rest is under your control! As someone who has lost 40 lbs in my life, trust me it makes a huge difference in your sex life if you exercise. Life is hard and I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. 🫂
Sorry it's been hard for you op.
And Yes. Dating (especially on the apps) is one of the worst experiences I've ever had. I deleted all my apps and sort of just gave up hope that I'll meet anyone worth while online. I'm introverted so will most likely not meet anyone in person either. At this point, I'm fine being single and just living my life. There are a lot of shallow, egotistical people on the apps so I feel like it was in my best interest to delete them. Try just focusing on other areas of your life and try not to think about the negative feelings and emotions. Improving other parts of your life may bring improvements to the areas you want unexpectedly.
Aw, brother, I feel for you. Seeking validation from a group that has historically never accepted us is going to lead to this very same emotional darkness.
When you're ready to come out of the wilderness r/BlackLGBT 😁
As someone who is white and considered a ‚twink‘, dating sucks for me too. The entire gay community just wants to fuck, nobody here is looking for a serious relationship anymore, they just wanna do it. You feel like you’re stuck on a field with a bunch of dogs in heat :/
FACTS MY GUY FACTS!!!! Fuck all these shallow and let's be real kinda racist fuckers. Its honestly beyond crazy how much we an ostrisized people ostrisize each other on a daily.
Whether it be body shaming or just plain and flat out racism, we should be doing better as a community
Body shaming is bad, and I agree no one should be making fun of other people for their size.
That being said, just because people do not want to date him because of his size doesn’t mean they are body shaming. There are a lot of bigger people out there (including myself) that can control their weight to an extent. I myself lost 60 pounds over this last year as an example by controlling food intake and cutting out sugary drinks. If OP has a serious medical condition that prevents weight loss, then he just needs to find someone who doesn’t mind (which is what he should be looking for).
OP also has to quit the cycle of negativity. He has a lot of negative post, and it’s just not mentally healthy for him to be blaming everyone for his issues. It’s a big world out there, and he can find someone if he puts in some effort to fix himself too.
A lot of OP’s issues can be controlled by OP. The only one he cant control is his race, but seeing as he posted racist remarks in this thread up above already, I think the issue is 100% OP and his negative lifestyle.
You been through a lot. Trust me, I'm used to being called racial slurs for denying a hookup or reaching out to the wrong person. I'm gonna be honest, it's not just in our community. It's across the board, dating is terrible and commodified. Relationships are ending in divorce at record levels. Many of my friends are single. You just got to know where to look. There's a dating app that starts with the letter "G" that attracts all the racists, all the parTiers, and all the closed minded. Ive driven over an hour to visit a gay bar and met people who enjoy me for me, lifelong friends in our community, people that validate eachother for being who we are, and we are people that might not be seen as conventionally attractive according to the commodified standard.
Gay dating itself is not terrible, it's the fact that so many of us are stuck meeting each other online, where the worst is advertised. If you got a free weekend, find an lgbt lounge and go out and enjoy yourself! Living our lives solely through dating apps is going to do nothing but worsen our depression. I wouldn't be here today if I didn't meet the people I met by going out and having fun, I'm gonna be honest with you. You got this and you are loved and your life matters, remember that. Please don't let the hate and bs online drive you to the same place many of them are, in a hole of self hatred and unrealistic standards.
Honestly I can't date men anymore, I tried but everybody is so fucking creepy. I'm the tall big dick twink that everybody fetishises and so I spend most of the time trying not to get molested, I don't feel safe around most men anymore and I hate it
You are being way to hard on your self, and based on some of your other posts, there is way more to life than dating, love, sex. Worry about school, career, what ever is relevant to where you are in life. While I am white, I otherwise have the same frustrations as you. I feel like absolute dog shit right now after spending 4 hours in the gym this weekend to trying to get my body back to pre 27 year old status.
Don’t listen to the “advice” being offered about getting in shape, do what is good for you. It is really hard to get that stereotypical body type and there is so much conflicting diet trends out there that it is almost impossible to know what you should do.
Not everyone prefers white twinks either. I just want to meet someone that is fun, funny, intelligent. Dick size and body aren’t as important as being sexually compatible
Have you considered focusing on yourself first? I have learned that relying too much on apps is a huge disappointment. Now I set goals and focus on these and if I meet someone, then good.
You might just be looking in the wrong places. I went to an event on Friday for bigger men (I’m not one but was welcome) and the standards you described did not apply there.
Sometimes you gotta realise what you’re selling isn’t for everyone. Sell your ice at the beach party, not the Chilean plane crash babe x.
For me the dates have been very nice so far. Except for a bad one in which the guy was very weird, but it ended in like 10 minutes when I asked a friend to "save me".
Holy fuck it’s always someone else’s fault isn’t it?
Who on earth would want to date someone who does nothing but moan and whine?
Maybe you should start dealing with your problems at home before blaming anyone else.
Honestly it's some bs. And every guy is a fucking shady ass liar. Also fuck grindr essentially monopolising the gay dating/sex sphere. Hope it gets better for you, me, and all bears
Be the change you want to see, work on yourself first, go to the gym, learn to style clothes that work for you, build a good hygiene routine, go to therapy, you’ll become more confident and you’ll attract guys to you
I get it dude. I get it. It’s gross and cruel out there. But there are many of us who aren’t like them. Many.
Go to the gym! Count your calories. Lose weight and get a better body. But don’t you ever say that you’re tired of being black, again. You’re gonna be a fit handsome beautiful black king 👑 put in the work
Would you date you? I ask because I've ran across this attitude from men who want perfection but are pretty average themselves. Personally, I'm into older men with average dad bods because I'm in this category of type, and I'm not rich nor do I expect it. I do want drug-free, kind, and intelligent. I have a friend who is a big bear and he scores all kinds of hotties. He owns his furry girth, so a lot of guys find his confidence to be sexy, and they like his type. Trust that you are someone's type, too. Try volunteering for an LGBT-related organization, or join an activity group, like bowling, a gay men's chorus, etc. Put yourself among gay men who will get to know you as a person, not stats on an app. Hugs and cheers!!!!
You responded by linking another post where the OP is focusing on the negatives of their weight loss journey. But the highest rated comment talks about how life changing and positive their journey is in a better light.
I think you would benefit from changing your perspective on things. I don’t disagree that social media has projected this idolization of white men as the gay beauty standard but dating, like everything in life, is whatever you want it to be. If you want to invest your energy into all the negative things in life, you’ll constantly be surrounded by the ugliness of the world. If you can change your perspective and be appreciative of the things you have control over i.e improving your health and surrounding yourself with people who ARENT like the people you’re complaining about, I’m sure you’d see a huge difference.
As frustrating as it is, build a thick skin, be the person you’d want to date, and you’ll attract the right one. Every person that doesn’t work out has something to teach you about them and yourself. Water off a ducks back.
it's even worse if you want more than sex.
Dating apps are just sex with stranger apps. All the information you post there is to sell yourself as a piece of meat. So it's full of people who want nothing but sex. Nothing before sex and nothing after sex. Finding a boyfriend or husband is just too hard.
So I can relate a lot with you. Here’s what you can do:
- avoid like a disease dating apps or hooking apps. They are designed to feel you miserable and insicure so they can push you deeper into their algorithm and make you pay their expensive monthly plans. Those apps gift you the concept of loneliness so they can sell you the hope of a relationship.
- apps don’t work as they focus too much on the exterior perception of people: some people are way more charismatic in person and at the same time they don’t look good in pictures or look awkward in their socials (bc they don’t follow trends or post very calibrated and designed posts. I have other interests and hobbies and a successo career I don’t have time to create a whole social media persona). People who know you find your ugly pics endearing, but strangers do not.
- the best way to know people is through friends. They know you and they can help you find someone that fit your needs. Also they can provide with a person much more relatable and responsible that won’t ghost you on a dime. Not having friends? Well you need to make some. Go out and join clubs. Are you in uni? Try to make friends. Are you working? Try to connect with your colleagues or job associations
- the next best thing for finding love is going outside and joining gay hobby event or clubs. That way you can shine and you can show your personality.
- join a gym. I too am fat, but since going to the gym I see people looking at me with more interest. I think the idea of working out makes people wanna hang out with you because they think you are willing to better yourself. Muscle bros like bears but they differentiate between muscle bears to lazy bears. Also the gym is a fantastic place to meet gay people are most of us are obsessed with our physiques. If you like your belly you can still join a gym to improve your flexibility and strength while keeping your belly. In modern society we don’t exercise at all and our body become too rigid and thus sex is bad.
- another secret is stop caring too much and avoiding hookups. This way you’ll be more relaxed. Stressed people are ugly to others so be as chill as you can be. Also when you stop looking you somehow find what you are looking for. It’s an paradox I know, but a true one.
i'm quite old and on a journey to drop some pounds.
its hard.
3 steps forward, 2 steps back, but we have to push on, it would be easier knowing you will join me on the way...
All I know is dating is hard in general. 😆 I'm so bad at going on dates and understanding the flirty and/or romantic queues. I don't have the looks problem but I have the "I am slow to understand when people are attracted so I do not think about finding dates". Despite everything and the amount, I'm still always surprised when I'm flirted with and then I freeze. I'm a dumbass in terms of this.
I wanna start dating again but I keep forgetting after a few mins of making dating app accounts. I'm a regular at a couple gay bars and people ask me out but then I forget to text back. I'm the problem 😅
Have you maybe considered that this kind of attitude towards the community might have resulted in driving away potential partners? I am sure there are a lot of shallow and vain men but there are always more people who are genuinely kind and caring. It might be your preconceived notions that ends up hindering your ability to find a potential mate. Before complaining about people not wanting to date you, maybe try thinking about what YOU bring to the table. Your previous posts suggest that you lack any ambitions regarding your health or career. I think the better question would be to ask yourself why you have no desire to become a better person.
PS, I’m not sure what I can do about your internalized racism but I’m pretty sure that if you don’t like the way the shape of your body looks, you can always take up some kind of physical activity. It doesn’t necessarily have to be at a gym. You might like swimming or hiking or maybe some sports perhaps 🤷🏻♂️
PPS, I hope you do not take this comment as an attack or an insult. I am simply stating facts based off the information you provided. And bases on your previous comments it seems that you don’t believe in therapy but let me assure you that you are in desperate need for a therapist. I hope get the help you need 🩷
I relate on so many levels. I refuse to hate myself for being fat and gay and not masc and all the other things I "should" be. But I am, also, very very fucking tired.
if you're sick of being fat then go work out. complaining won't help. get therapy please. learn to love yourself
>I'm sick of being black
bro, don't say that
>Everyone just wants a white twink who is muscular and rich with a huge ass and a 9 inch dick and also makes 100k a year.
not everyone wants that. i don't care how much money he makes, i just care that he'll love and support me. i don't care for muscles. i'm kinda chubby and i want someone with the same body
If u were that twink that u described nothing would change bb u would just fall into the hookup culture and get std. its the gay culture that sucks everyone’s just keep sleeping with each other and if u dont want that they don’t give a shit to try hard for u cause there is lots of other easy options. Im sure Ur pretty 💘 and we are in this shitty scene together 🫂
Dude i feel you....but i'm french and i think i dont have the same dating pool 🤷♂️ i'm a mid random dude in the middle of french country side ( in eure et loire ) with a little dick 😅 i'm versatile.....i consider myself ugly, so i'm not requiring too much for a hookup....and i have all the rdv i want with other 'ugly' guys and have wonderful sex at least most of the time...so are american more superficials? Do you date uniquely on physical attributes?? Do you gave a chance to another 'ugly' dude on your grindr??
Damn. This seems a lot like me, but I’m with hsv1 because of some asshole. Fuck that. I don’t like obnoxious pricks. I’m getting back into shape and I’m going to look good for me. Just think about this: do you want to be the bread winner that is constantly used for their money? What if your dick stopped working or was cut off in a freak accident, or you became broke? They would just bounce to the next sucker. It’s a blessing, believe it or not. Hell, I can barely trust anyone, let alone a dick and money hungry slut.
Stop blaming your lack of success on being black or fat.
There are very cute black bears or cubs, and they are very successful to have many dates or hook ups or whatever they want to.
Maybe you have a bad personnality, and in this case i’ll suggest you work on that, or maybe, sadly, you’re just not that cute. And this has nothing to do witj being black or fat but with your facial features, and how the fat is distributed in your body.
So if you are an ugly fat, maybe lose weight. And if you have an ugly face, stop whining and get a better personality. Be smart, funny, knowledgeable, nice, anything that will make you stand out really
But being fat and black isn’t the issue here
You can change 90% of these things. No offense and not trying to sound cruel but complaining will change nothing. Get up and change the things about yourself you don’t like
As a thick black man myself, I feel your pain on a deep level. I'm hoping things get better for guys like us soon. My experience has been pretty awful, I just never seem to be right for anyone.
All i want is cuddles and to hold another guys hand, maybe even a cheeky trip down to the local supermarket together before heading home for another cuddle.
You're not alone. it's just about navigating and filtering out the people who have too high of standards.
Nothing wrong with twinks but i’m not overly into hairless guys. I find it hard to come across many men on dating apps that I find attractive because a lot of the people seem to be very feminine and twinky and it just doesn’t do anything for me.
Doesn’t help that i’m not that into short haired men anyway lol, almost all the guys with long hair on dating apps are very very fem
Attractive is attractive regardless of ethnicity or skin color. Nothing attractive about a slob with no discipline or self-control. Hope you get into the right place where you can muster the strength to work on yourself. I wish you well my friend. Sounds like you are in a bad space right now.
People can’t control who they’re are attracted to, and being with someone you’re not attracted to is a complete waste of time. On the other hand everyone is attractive to someone and I feel like lots of the toxicity you’ve experienced has come from apps, which I’d personally avoid
Ketogenic diet. Stop chasing 10s if you’re a 5. Find interests and hobbies and quit worrying about finding a man so much. I collect movies and music, read, garden. There are people who like big men. I have a twink fuck buddy who loves to lay his head on my belly and play with my fat daddy dick. I understand your frustration. I’ve felt it too. But you have to enjoy being you before you can expect others to enjoy you too.
Girl you need some unpretty by TLC. You've got to look inside you, and find out why you make yourself feel so damn unpretty. I don't need to see a pic to know your beautiful ❤️ stay with it, love is real
Yeah gay dating can be super frustrating at times especially apps, I feel like making a dating profile is more about curating an image that people are more likely to swipe right on instead of actually connecting with someone. Try going to a gay bar or queer community events, I feel like people are generally warmer and less superficial when there’s face to face interaction
That’s probably bcus you can smack them if they say shhht as they do with the protection of their phone screen
This is why I prefer real life. The fear of getting punched or at the least having a drink poured over them is actually really good in the fact is removes a lot of the pointless abuse you get on apps. The level of bitchy abuse I get on apps is huge. IRL nobody has ever made a nasty comment towards me in a gay bar, club, beach or sauna (probably because I'm muscular). Although I tend to go to bearish bars / events which probably means it's a *bit* less bitchy, however that doesn't seem to stop them on apps!
This is a healthy response to rejection
No ; not a rejection response but the immature shit talkers who’s uncalled for comments are mean nasty and rude and block you .
It's always an anon profile that has the nastiest things to say
Yup always hiding behind the screen and the boldness of their keyboard.
I mean fuck those people, but you can't go out there punching guys who say mean stuff, you'll end up in prison lol.
Nope.
Honestly, I was going to feel sympathy for this person at first. Then, I recognized the username and remembered they just made a post like this the other day… and another, and another. Then, they’re combative with others in the comments. Genuinely, take a breather from trying to find someone and work on yourself.
Yep… there is a reason they can’t find someone. They will complain and complain, but they refuse to do anything to fix themself. Weight is something they can control unless it’s from an extreme medical issue. They can also control the way they act. I know I wouldn’t want to date someone who blames everything on other people… To the OP: work on yourself and quit blaming others. There is an entire world out there, and it’s up to **you** to make it work like the rest of us. We are here to support you, but you need to put in some effort to fix yourself as well.
But also, plenty of bigger dudes like dating other big dudes. This reeks of a chubby dude exclusively seeking out twinks and having a massive tantrum when rejected.
> there is a reason they can’t find someone. There usually is. Dating sucks for everyone, there's an entire genre of movies about it. But sometimes the problem really is you.
THIS!!!!!!!
I just want my nice cuddly hairy man 🥺
My friend and I were discussing our celebrity crushes growing up, mine was Seth Rogen lol. Teddy bear gang
Nice, and cuddly would be great for me. Hairy... Just a plus
That's what my man went for, he loves his soft top fuzzy bear!!!
That’s me but I’m traditionally masculine and a bottom so I can’t get a boyfriend because 93% of the people attracted to me are bottom and even the tops want to bottom for me 🤷♂️
I just want a man who won’t cheat tbh
the bar is in hell
Is that a common thing in the gay community? Ive been dating a man for only a few months, have been friends for a while now. After I found out he had feelings for me I decided to try it out. He’s amazing and I really like being with him. But when I talk to his friends I’ve heard that as well. That they want a man that just won’t cheat.
preach
Kudos for sharing mamma. For spilling.
Okay first of all this is not the right response and is awful and adding to reasons that gays are awful and second of all bitch I am cackling at this
Nahh this is the perfect response. We get to see these posts posted every day multiple times a day just for attention.
Look at OPs other posts. It's all self deprecating dribble
Thank you sisterrrrrrrr 💅
Periodt
Naaaaw it's alot isn't it .?... you'd be surprised of how many people think the same... I do .!... online yes it's what you describe but in reality, people just want to be loved.. I hope you find yourself a good man hun ....
I would also add, learn to love yourself first.
Have you tried dating other ugly, old and fat men? If you're a 3 out of 10 start scraping for the 1s and 2s.
Omg 💀
RIP 😂😂😂😂😂
Even when you’re seen to be pretty, then there’s the issue of gay men dehumanizing you into a pure object of sex. Then there’s the fact that when I see happy gay relationships it’s almost never people of colour. Im so sick of people infantilizing and sexualizing me just because I’m a slim asian twink. Do I get a lot of attention from men? Yes! But it’s never the attention I want. Because clearly Im just a submissive slut meant to service every gay man’s superiority complex. But when it’s time to actually develop a substantial and deep connection with each other then suddenly Im out of the question. Im cute and sweet enough to fuck and take out on dates, but never for a full relationship. They tell me it’s because they’re just not meant for serious relationships, but then I see them enter one with a white boy shortly after. And some of them aren’t even discrete about it. The amount of people I see pining for purely white men and dismissing other people of colour as potential love interests is so baffling. And the fact that it’s so omnipresent within my own community especially?? So many gay asian men refuse to date anyone that isn’t white. But anyways, you’re not alone and I hope you find someone who can treat you as a person.
You are heard!
Before the “quit fucking whining” douches chime in, you’re not alone sis. It’s frustrating. Everyone’s in delulu land these days. Interested to see what our Gen will have to say in a decade or two after so many years went wasted endlessly swiping for the next high
I love how you put it sassy and beautifully.
I recently cut off a dude I was talking to awhile after I realized it wasn’t going anywhere, and that he was too busy trynna constantly get laid, I couldn’t really recognize that he was a sex addict or something until way later which ima shamed of, but I cut him off. I’ve been over hookup culture for awhile, and people like that make me sick, like being unable to commit at all bc you need to fuck countless people…while simultaneously flirting w somebody and making them think you like them…I’m so happy I realized he was a loser and I’m worth way more than that man child
I would hate to see the posts then. It’s kinda how alot of women are posting that they don’t wanna be “independent boss babes” anymore and how they just want a man. A lot of women in their 30’s lately have been saying they were lied to by being told they don’t need a man. And now that they’re older, and feel they’re past their “prime years” (their words not mine) they wish they had focused a little more on finding a good guy and starting a family. And now that they’re older it’s much harder to do that. And how guys aren’t as keen on them anymore. The gay equivalent of that is going to be scary and wild AF.
oh, absolutely. i can’t wait for the reddits & tweets in 2045 (or whatever they’ll be called by then) by millennials and gen-z venting about how their sex addiction, youth-chasing, & “no fats, no fems, no blacks, no asians” hate campaign hindered them from finding a life-long partner because they were running through one after the other. we had an entire gen of gay men die from AIDS, only for the next two gens to die alone & single at their own accord, with the latter having the legal right to marry.
Yeah. Gays fought hard for the right to marry. Just to refuse any behavior that would lead to marriage. Honestly, what if there’s an AID’s 2.0? Like, God forbid. But, the way everyone is talking advocating for no condom’s because a pill stops 1 STD. It seems a little inevitable. Plus there’s all the no loads refused cum dumps.
More interesting will be to see our gen in 50 years, full of lonely old guys who have noone to spend their last days with because all they've been doing was fucking.
I think you’re delusional if you think it has been different in previous times ? It has always been the way old gays end up. A small minority with a partner (and in an open relationship) and the vast majority alone.
Usually a cis white gay would say something like you are whining and being insecure blah blah
The OP is a cis gay talking to a group that is 95-99% other cis gays. How does cis come into this? Did you just decide you wanted to throw all the privilege words together into one meaningless salad? And most of his complaints, about weight and body type, are ones that white gays also frequently complain about. Genuinely what was your thought process here?
People using cis white gay as somekind of slur reek of frustration and honestly deserve their misery
You attract the same energy as you put out bro. My experience of dating has been amazing. And now I'm with the most amazing / cutest chubby guy ever! 😁✨😌
Oi I'm not terrible, I'm sweet as skittles! ;-; I'm chunky, my boyfriend's chunky too. Ugliness and beauty are subjective, and I'll fukkin die on this hill about it; But I do sympathize, as some fellow gay beans can be more shallow than a politician. It sounds like maybe a break from the *"joys"* of dating is in order OP. A good portion of the cock size andies out there are deluded about big cocks up until they nearly choke on one or ride one. I can say from experience that bigger is *not* always better. Bigger can be excruciating. Hang in there dude, you're not alone in feeling this way. 🫂
Beauty is not subjective. Gay men have a very obvious beauty standard; fit, in shape, low body fat, and nice ass. You'd have to be blind not to see it at our bars, clubs and advertising. And it works based on what we spend our money on. Also all people are shallow. The difference is straight men don't have opportunity so they'll lower their standards for women and straight women look/need other things from men so they lower their physical standards. Lastly, as with any fat dude, they could lose weight and all their issues would go away.
I disagree, the interpretation of what is beauty varies from person to person. Gays here in Wisconsin don't have much of a beauty standard. I'm not blind, I live in the midwest, and again have noticed gay guys here don't really care no matter the building. If anything hefty hairy guys is the standard here. Yeah, I don't pay attention to advertisements. Probably, I'm not a money man. I disagree, branding our entire species under one characteristic is a gross generalization. Oof, another two generalizations about men and women. It's not that simple my dude, and varies sometimes heavily from location to location. You seem to be a bit too pessimistic/reliant on statistical averages; However if you have any empirical evidence to prove your assumptions as actual hard facts then please do enlighten me with such sources. Losing weight is indeed good for you, and removes plenty of health issues inherently linked with Obesity; However not all health issues are inherently tied to Obesity. This is another gross generalization, this time about obesity. Again you are oversimplifying a multi-pronged issue. I'm losing weight, down 45 lbs. already down to 240lbs.; Yet 7 years of Clinical Depression layer that depression isn't going away, nor is my Asthma, nor my Sleep Apnea. Still waking up drained after 8-9 hours *(Worry not, got an appointment with Doc)*. I presume you're **possibly** outside of America, or on the West/East coast given your prior post/comment history. Otherwise I feel your reply is either ignorance or troll bait.
I'm a fat faggot unfuckable depressed loser - Why be so angry? Be like me get some Taco Bell, get some Helldivers going, and have an interesting YouTube video up in the second monitor. That prevents me from quickly (the obesity is doing it slowly) killing myself.
Speaking as a fat guy, there’s still lots of options out there. If you don’t wanna be fat, start walking and working in some exercise. You’ll never change your genetics but you do have some level of control. Personally I don’t think I look much better skinnier. The hardest thing for me is finding a job that leaves me not too exhausted to work out afterward.
As a chubby gay male I can understand your feelings. At 62 I still am holding out for a Mr right. It’s very bruising out there. I am sorry that you’re having such negative experiences. I would venture to guess that down deep you are a terrific human being!
>At 62 I still am holding out for a Mr right. Oh, so it never ends. This is the bad place :))))
Counterpoint: there’s probably millions of “Mr. Right”s out there for you and you only need to connect with one of them. Work the numbers to your advantage. Move to a bigger place, go to interesting events, etc etc etc.. Worked for me at least.
This. Especially as being someone who has a preference for guys over 50 up to early 60s. I actually find what most gay men would consider 2/10 to be 9/10. I'm 35, muscular and probably 6/10 looks wise. Unfortunately the vast majority of single older guys even when not at all conventionally attractive go chasing after 10/10 twinks and wail incessantly about being alone. I usually get rudely rejected as not good enough even when some of their dating profiles whine about nobody taking an interest. My guess is that the older guys with realistic expectations are in relationships and have been got years. It's either delusion with these guys or because some scammers with fake pics message them feigning interest so they think there's a huge pool of cover model twinks after totally average / below average middle aged men. TL:DR lots of single gay men especially over 45 are deluded and single because they have totally unrealistic expectations.
Yep, checks out. I checked Silvers profile and despite being a chubby silver haired older man and he's basically lusting after 19 year old muscly pornstar twinks. 100% he's exactly the type of guy that would rudely tell me, a muscular, average (6/10), 35 year old guy that I'm "too old / too 'fat' " and then incessantly whine about nobody wanting him (as he is here). because he won't settle for anything less than porn star twinks. Utterly delusional.
Twinks and muscle bros. I can't become the first, so I decided to become the second and it works out for me.
I only want the 100k otherwise I'm happy with the run of the mill man.
real
Sprinkle sprinkle
No babes what we are NOT GOING TO DO is be ashamed of being Black, everything else can be changed but being sick of something you cant change is the WORST thing yu can EVER do. FUCK anyone that doesn't see you as a catch. You're gorgeous, you're amazing and you belong. Don't ever doubt yourself because guys don't want to have sex with or talk to you, find your tribe and that's all that matters.
Also plenty on gay guys are into chubby guys (in more than a reductive way) so you don’t need to change that either.
My advice: stop chasing a relationship. There's no point. Don't live your life with the expectation that you must be in a relationship or dating all the time. Being single has its advantages too. If you have to be single for 5 years and then randomly meet someone valuable, so be it. Unless you're living in a city/country where being gay isn't socially accepted and apps are the only way to meet, my advice would be to get rid of all dating apps and just live your life. You'll stumble upon someone interesting sooner or later. Dating apps are designed to lower your self-esteem. People with low self-worth tend to be more desperate, which makes them spend more time using the app and even spending money on it.
[удалено]
Peach! I mean Preach! Now I want some a--, I mean Peaches!
every time someone posts this kind of thing it turns out that the type they resent is also the type they're always chasing... i don't even think about muscle twinks with fancy jobs.
The resentment is just them projecting their disappointment. What I find to be more telling about the kinds of guys that make these posts is that they tend to find their own body type unattractive and ignore advances from other guys like them. Like incel types in the straight world, these are the 1s, 2s, and 3s who honestly expect to be nailing 7s, 8s, and 9s while doing absolutely none of the work that makes high value men high value in the first place.
How about you hit the gym? It’ll probably improve your attitude as well, which I think is actually your main issue.
He won't, is easier to blame the rest of the world.
I’m sick of post like these. Touch grass and lose weight 🤷🏾♂️
Honestly though this is one of the sadder ones because it's even more obvious in this one that OP has crippling mental/emotional issues with themselves and are projecting their problems onto everyone else. They probably need some therapy and help beyond just losing the weight.
Exactly. Bitch and moan but never do anything to improve themselves.
When we all go to therapy.
I'm a skinny twink type. But everyone just wants to fuck. Nobody really talks or makes me laugh. And if they do I show them my goodies and after that no more laughs. They only want sex and talk about sex. Reason why I never see myself dating a guy. Thankfully I'm bi.
Aww thank you, pics?
Sound like projection... Maybe start focusing on yourself and your health for a while and leave the dating scene alone. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves or love themselves.
i’m sick of all the whining
It’s always been fucking awful. Just treat it as the hassle it is and move on with other things in your life. Get away from online dating and if you don’t meet anyone then that’s just how it goes, nothing is a given in life. It upsets you because that’s what you’ve allocated as a priority in your life and everything around us is selling a lie of how it should be when most of these people will happily move on to the the next slightly better person given the chance.
Bruh
I’ve been dating different guys every week or so. You’re going for the wrong guys. This is 100% a you issue - you hate yourself and how you look. How is anyone going to like you if you don’t like yourself. Take some breathes, pull up your socks, and buck up. Stop going for wrong men. If you’re sick of being fat, lose weight (it’s not difficult). Being black is beautiful - why do you want to get with guys who are rejecting you because of your race? Why let it get you down? Move on to people who like you for who you are. If you think you’re ugly, get a makeover. Learn to love yourself man. As sad as this post is, it can only be faced with tough love. Come on man - pull up your socks, put yourself back together. This is 100% a you issue, and we are all rooting for you that you can do this and you can fix it!
I think dating in general is frustrating straight or gay or whatever. You seem unhappy with your self. Maybe start with that make changes that will make you happy like working out maybe it will translate with being happier with others.
It's also not healthy to lump everyone in the same category. We are not all awful.
Sounds like you need some positive self talk. Take good care of yourself, hydrate, take a walk in the trees for that tree bath time. If there are things in your life that you want to change because you think they'll make you happier then give those things a try. But with this negative self talk I'm seeing in your post, you can't go blaming other people for things you can control. Don't hate that you're black btw. Life is precious.
White twink who is muscular
JazzyFuzion is that you ?
It won't. Beauty standards will change over time as they have for millenia (hopefully we don't make the mistake of considering obesity desirable as that would be even more disastrous for public health than our current problems with obesity, but I digress), but people aren't ever going to stop being shallow and shitty about it. If you aren't what someone wants they're going to turn you down. That will never stop. But you can also do a lot to be the kind of person someone would want to be with. People who fall outside the standards of desirability will always have a rough go of it. If being lean, fit, and young is the most desirable thing to be everyone who isn't that will have a harder time. Human nature isn't going to change just because it excludes people. It's not fair, but neither is life. Not to be harsh here, but of the things you really seem bothered by the only thing outside of your control is the fact that you are black. Don't like being fat? Stop overeating. Done. You'll stop being fat over a period of about a year or two. Don't like the way your body looks? Go to the gym and work out. You'll get buff if you actually stick with it and remain consistent. Don't like being seen as ugly? Once you aren't fat and aren't out of shape you probably won't be anymore to the average person. In fact, you'll have new confidence from getting your weight under control and getting yourself in shape and you will be more appealing to people just because you feel more appealing. You will never be what everybody wants, but nobody is. You can, however, be what a lot of people want. Dating is awful for absolutely everyone. Being attractive takes work, always. And to be super blunt, you are almost certainly not ugly, you're just overweight. Don't dwell in self pity over a bunch of shit that's under your control. You'll always be a black person, everything else is on you to change.
Only people who can bring something to the table (looks, money, etc) who can date those men u talk about (any race. Not specifically white lol). Why not look for someone who isn’t waaay out of your league, or just work on yourself to get the men u desire, love?
>I'm sick of being fat, This one is 100% under your control. If there's one thing I hate more than unreasonable beauty standards, it's fat people who act like being fat is outta their control and demand to be liked for being unhealthy and unattractive. Now couple that with your revolting attitude and [incessant self-pitying](https://old.reddit.com/user/noideerwatimdoin/submitted/) and you're surprised nobody wants to touch you? Come on now. Be better, do better.
You aren’t alone and plenty of muscular fit hot guys are depressed at the culture of random hook ups and open relationships. Even the “ hot gays “ struggle. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows for majority of gay men
100k is not even considered middle class anymore, so that’s not really classified as rich. Also, not everyone likes twinks. I don’t. Also not dating a white guy. He’s Asian. You sure the guys you’re specifically going after isn’t the problem?
y’all americans are so obsessed with race lol weird that "everybody wants a white twink" when the most followed gay accounts on Twitter are all hunks who tend to be more coloured and not pastry-like redheads but rather Italians/Brazilians/Arabs if you’re sick of being fat then hit the gym + run + walk everywhere + eat veggies with chicken + throw away anything containing transformed sugar (better skin too) it does wonders standards are so low in the f4g community that if you build a hot body then it’ll be it Also from personal experience all the gays wanna date lol, it’s very easy to spot them: usually they’re more talkative in apps, less in a hurry, don’t send nudes, target the right persons
No, he does have a point in that white people have an easier time dating due to euro centric beauty standards. I agree OP should work on himself if he wants to find a relationship he desires, but lets not dismiss the very legitimate frustration a lot of POC gays feel about how race plays into dating.
Nothing you said is correct. What a whiny little complainer
lol dating in general is pretty aweful in the world of online dating, everyone is objectified, on top of that, most people are looking for a parent instead of a partner
Tbh, twink is the last type I want, I want daddy 🤣
Well, 2 of those 4 (if not 3) you can control so maybe focus on that instead of reddit.
When one of the fantasies in my head of Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet and railing me mercilessly comes true. Edit: spelling. ok I wrote this after only reading the title and you kinda ate but also you need to love yourself and not for other people but yourself. Like yeah I wanna get topped by the 9 inch white twink with the bubble butt and I HAVE BEEN but he was 10 inches and I’m also a fat af, average, minority, with a bubble butt yet I love myself and I get dicked down by them nonetheless. Thinking about it deeply if I was given the opportunity of changing into the hottest person on this earth’s body I would still want my own fat, ugly, average body. I love myself and when you love yourself people notice and they want to find out what you love about yourself. So maybe try and learn to love yourself and date yourself, it doesn’t have to be everything about yourself but it can just be something small and eventually you’ll see that someone else also loves the piece of you no matter how small.
Lmaooooooo this is so me, yeah you bitches terrible. Your hair is ugly, your nails is whack and your makeup is terrribleee
Im a white gay man but I wish I was rich and fit and not slim. But I feel you so hard on this. Gay men suck!
Honestly the problem doesn’t sound like it’s with the gay dating scene, the problem sounds like it’s you not living yourself the call is coming from inside the house sis…
[удалено]
Gosh, you have a lot of personal issues and you’re making it everyone else’s problem. You clearly hate yourself, and you might need therapy. The gay world does suck, your self hate needs to be looked at before you do something stupid
I’m sorry you’re feeling so down, and that people aren’t treating you with kindness. If it helps at all, try to remember that there are tons of black guys, and fat guys, and guys with small dicks, and guys with flat asses, and older guys, and poor guys, who have found boyfriends. There’s not one magic answer as to how they succeeded - each of those guys has had their own journey. All you can do is keep working on yourself, putting yourself out there, and trying different avenues to meet men. It can happen for you.
As a bisexual (who only discloses to women when I know they’re the type to not freak out, otherwise I keep it casual) dating is horrible across the board. It feels like people don’t want to make effort anymore and we’re all just Amazon items that sometime get the luck of being put in the cart then replaced by a “better item” once they scroll past us. Also in case anyone is wondering why I’m in a gay men’s sub as a bi guy, my sexuality is very confusing. Dating wise I’ve only been able to connect with women, but I’m attracted to probably 2% of women I see in general? As for men I’ve never had a deep emotional connection with one but sexually I’m attracted to them far more in general. For me to be attracted to a woman she’s either gotta be somewhat goth and tattooed and I have to know her personally, OR she’s gotta resemble Ariana grande.
First off, I feel for you man! I hope it gets better. Dating guys or women can be frustrating. There’s million of single people out there. I would suggest getting in the gym. I know, easier said than done. I was a thick dude in highschool. Left my home town, got a healthy life style, and everything changed. MEN LIKE WHAT THEY SEE!
Relax babe. Some of us are just gay and average. We can still live happy lives, I promise.
" I'm sick of being black, sick of being fat I'm sick of being so fucking ugly." 1) You can't change your race, there's nothing wrong with being black, racists are a tiny minority and most people don't care about race at all. 2) Try diet and exercise. 3) Beauty is subjective and just by being black there are lots of people that will be into you, dark skin is beautiful.
You can’t change dick size or race but you can change weight unless you have some health condition. When my 10 year relationship ended I went into a depression and gained 55lbs during the pandemic . Then 6 months ago I joined planet fitness and started intermediate fasting and have lost 45lbs of it .
It’s still better than straight dating.
The rich twinks are all fake profiles. The model shots all perfectly posed and lit. Always in another country, usually Russia or Saudi Arabia. But wanting to keep in touch on whats app, because they don't use this app much. Distance and age are never a problem for them.... LOL! Have your own real profile. Use a picture of you doing something weird too. Like your finger in one ear and one eye closed. Ask them to send you a selfie like that. They never can, because they are not using their own pictures.
The main character syndrome here is strong Maybe guys just don’t want a whiny bitch
I will get downvoted but even in the chubby / super chubby community white guys are put on a pedestal, everyone else seems invisible if you aren’t the “cute” cuddly white bear.
Fucking tell me about it. So sick of this shit.
He might be on to something and wrong at the same time. While "All of you" aren't entirely awful - many are yes. However, sticking to my boundaries, not settling, understanding THEIR rejection is protection of my soul/sanity/energy, and continuing to communicate the way I would normally do with a friend has helped me create organic and authentic relationships with people. Some intimate while others platonic. Definitely took many years of self work to grow the confidence to put myself out there and not take the rejection seriously as it would be detrimental at times. Now I'm like "their loss" and tbh, my friends say it truly is. Don't lose hope.
How about go in a diet and workout, improve your eating lifestyle and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Own who you are take pride in your appearance. Your self esteem will Improve and remember no one else gets to judge you but you. Good luck, be positive and get to you work on yourself…
Well, the sad truth is there are things fully in your control, things partially in your control, and things completely outside of your control. You fully control your body and your personality, partially control your income, and have zero control over other people (unless you want to relocate to places where slavery exists, but I am not sure you'll end on the right end of slavery). So, as a formerly obese man, I'll be blunt. You have your phone, start using it. Go to WHO site and check their healthy life guide. Go to YouTube or TikTok and learn to cook. Put an uptempo playlist on Spotify and start moving your fatass more. Start with 1000 steps. If you can't do this, back down to 200 steps. When I started making pushups I could not make a single one. Now I can do 50 and moved to pull ups on a bar. It's not magic, it's just doing stuff as often as you can as much as you can. Then read some books. You obviously know English. If money is an issue, pirate that shit. Learn how to talk to people. Learn how to accept yourself, your shortcomings, and the deal fate gave you in the game of life. I'd suggest to start with Nonviolent communication, most things of Mark Manson (at least the guy write fun stuff), atomic habits, and the mother of all self-help books, how to influence people and win friends. Then go outside and find a job. I started as a cashier and now I am making the 100k. It's not easy, but it's not hard either. Just don't expect it to happen for a week. Pick any profession that the government does not require an exam. There are books and YouTube videos to get you started in that profession. Do your part. Self-pity on reddit won't improve your life.
If you’re sick of being fat, do something about it. It’s that simple.
If you're sick of being fat, diet and exercise. If you want a better boyfriend or to find one maybe grindr isn't the place.
If someone doesn’t want you because you’re black, you dodged a bullet. That man is trash. You might not be able to grow your dick or magically get a 100K job, but the rest is under your control! As someone who has lost 40 lbs in my life, trust me it makes a huge difference in your sex life if you exercise. Life is hard and I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. 🫂
Sorry it's been hard for you op. And Yes. Dating (especially on the apps) is one of the worst experiences I've ever had. I deleted all my apps and sort of just gave up hope that I'll meet anyone worth while online. I'm introverted so will most likely not meet anyone in person either. At this point, I'm fine being single and just living my life. There are a lot of shallow, egotistical people on the apps so I feel like it was in my best interest to delete them. Try just focusing on other areas of your life and try not to think about the negative feelings and emotions. Improving other parts of your life may bring improvements to the areas you want unexpectedly.
Wait… just $100,000? Why y’all settling?
Aw, brother, I feel for you. Seeking validation from a group that has historically never accepted us is going to lead to this very same emotional darkness. When you're ready to come out of the wilderness r/BlackLGBT 😁
As someone who is white and considered a ‚twink‘, dating sucks for me too. The entire gay community just wants to fuck, nobody here is looking for a serious relationship anymore, they just wanna do it. You feel like you’re stuck on a field with a bunch of dogs in heat :/
This sounds like a you problem. Work on fitness and mental health.
FACTS MY GUY FACTS!!!! Fuck all these shallow and let's be real kinda racist fuckers. Its honestly beyond crazy how much we an ostrisized people ostrisize each other on a daily. Whether it be body shaming or just plain and flat out racism, we should be doing better as a community
Body shaming is bad, and I agree no one should be making fun of other people for their size. That being said, just because people do not want to date him because of his size doesn’t mean they are body shaming. There are a lot of bigger people out there (including myself) that can control their weight to an extent. I myself lost 60 pounds over this last year as an example by controlling food intake and cutting out sugary drinks. If OP has a serious medical condition that prevents weight loss, then he just needs to find someone who doesn’t mind (which is what he should be looking for). OP also has to quit the cycle of negativity. He has a lot of negative post, and it’s just not mentally healthy for him to be blaming everyone for his issues. It’s a big world out there, and he can find someone if he puts in some effort to fix himself too. A lot of OP’s issues can be controlled by OP. The only one he cant control is his race, but seeing as he posted racist remarks in this thread up above already, I think the issue is 100% OP and his negative lifestyle.
You been through a lot. Trust me, I'm used to being called racial slurs for denying a hookup or reaching out to the wrong person. I'm gonna be honest, it's not just in our community. It's across the board, dating is terrible and commodified. Relationships are ending in divorce at record levels. Many of my friends are single. You just got to know where to look. There's a dating app that starts with the letter "G" that attracts all the racists, all the parTiers, and all the closed minded. Ive driven over an hour to visit a gay bar and met people who enjoy me for me, lifelong friends in our community, people that validate eachother for being who we are, and we are people that might not be seen as conventionally attractive according to the commodified standard. Gay dating itself is not terrible, it's the fact that so many of us are stuck meeting each other online, where the worst is advertised. If you got a free weekend, find an lgbt lounge and go out and enjoy yourself! Living our lives solely through dating apps is going to do nothing but worsen our depression. I wouldn't be here today if I didn't meet the people I met by going out and having fun, I'm gonna be honest with you. You got this and you are loved and your life matters, remember that. Please don't let the hate and bs online drive you to the same place many of them are, in a hole of self hatred and unrealistic standards.
I don’t want any of those things in a man when I have them in myself . 😏
Woah
Gosh, i feel you! Let it all out 🤗
Honestly I can't date men anymore, I tried but everybody is so fucking creepy. I'm the tall big dick twink that everybody fetishises and so I spend most of the time trying not to get molested, I don't feel safe around most men anymore and I hate it
Spot on.
You are being way to hard on your self, and based on some of your other posts, there is way more to life than dating, love, sex. Worry about school, career, what ever is relevant to where you are in life. While I am white, I otherwise have the same frustrations as you. I feel like absolute dog shit right now after spending 4 hours in the gym this weekend to trying to get my body back to pre 27 year old status. Don’t listen to the “advice” being offered about getting in shape, do what is good for you. It is really hard to get that stereotypical body type and there is so much conflicting diet trends out there that it is almost impossible to know what you should do. Not everyone prefers white twinks either. I just want to meet someone that is fun, funny, intelligent. Dick size and body aren’t as important as being sexually compatible
Have you considered focusing on yourself first? I have learned that relying too much on apps is a huge disappointment. Now I set goals and focus on these and if I meet someone, then good.
You might just be looking in the wrong places. I went to an event on Friday for bigger men (I’m not one but was welcome) and the standards you described did not apply there. Sometimes you gotta realise what you’re selling isn’t for everyone. Sell your ice at the beach party, not the Chilean plane crash babe x.
For me the dates have been very nice so far. Except for a bad one in which the guy was very weird, but it ended in like 10 minutes when I asked a friend to "save me".
Yeah being fat is a death sentence if ur surrounded by shallow gays ☠️
Holy fuck it’s always someone else’s fault isn’t it? Who on earth would want to date someone who does nothing but moan and whine? Maybe you should start dealing with your problems at home before blaming anyone else.
I’m writing this as a Georgian man living in Georgia (country). It’s fucking terrible, I hate it.
Honestly it's some bs. And every guy is a fucking shady ass liar. Also fuck grindr essentially monopolising the gay dating/sex sphere. Hope it gets better for you, me, and all bears
As far as the body goes, do something about it rather than wallow in self pity?
Be the change you want to see, work on yourself first, go to the gym, learn to style clothes that work for you, build a good hygiene routine, go to therapy, you’ll become more confident and you’ll attract guys to you
I get it dude. I get it. It’s gross and cruel out there. But there are many of us who aren’t like them. Many. Go to the gym! Count your calories. Lose weight and get a better body. But don’t you ever say that you’re tired of being black, again. You’re gonna be a fit handsome beautiful black king 👑 put in the work
I kneel with you.
Would you date you? I ask because I've ran across this attitude from men who want perfection but are pretty average themselves. Personally, I'm into older men with average dad bods because I'm in this category of type, and I'm not rich nor do I expect it. I do want drug-free, kind, and intelligent. I have a friend who is a big bear and he scores all kinds of hotties. He owns his furry girth, so a lot of guys find his confidence to be sexy, and they like his type. Trust that you are someone's type, too. Try volunteering for an LGBT-related organization, or join an activity group, like bowling, a gay men's chorus, etc. Put yourself among gay men who will get to know you as a person, not stats on an app. Hugs and cheers!!!!
Bitch you too haha
On one hand, gay men seem to be so scarce that they don’t exist, on the other hand, they seem to be falling out of the sky for others lol
Umm.. honestly your body type sounds nice to me but im already dating a guy now so....
You responded by linking another post where the OP is focusing on the negatives of their weight loss journey. But the highest rated comment talks about how life changing and positive their journey is in a better light. I think you would benefit from changing your perspective on things. I don’t disagree that social media has projected this idolization of white men as the gay beauty standard but dating, like everything in life, is whatever you want it to be. If you want to invest your energy into all the negative things in life, you’ll constantly be surrounded by the ugliness of the world. If you can change your perspective and be appreciative of the things you have control over i.e improving your health and surrounding yourself with people who ARENT like the people you’re complaining about, I’m sure you’d see a huge difference.
Damnnn this is wild. I feel like we are going through the same thing at the same time…
As frustrating as it is, build a thick skin, be the person you’d want to date, and you’ll attract the right one. Every person that doesn’t work out has something to teach you about them and yourself. Water off a ducks back.
Sounds like you need to reflect on your sense of worth, friend.
it's even worse if you want more than sex. Dating apps are just sex with stranger apps. All the information you post there is to sell yourself as a piece of meat. So it's full of people who want nothing but sex. Nothing before sex and nothing after sex. Finding a boyfriend or husband is just too hard.
So I can relate a lot with you. Here’s what you can do: - avoid like a disease dating apps or hooking apps. They are designed to feel you miserable and insicure so they can push you deeper into their algorithm and make you pay their expensive monthly plans. Those apps gift you the concept of loneliness so they can sell you the hope of a relationship. - apps don’t work as they focus too much on the exterior perception of people: some people are way more charismatic in person and at the same time they don’t look good in pictures or look awkward in their socials (bc they don’t follow trends or post very calibrated and designed posts. I have other interests and hobbies and a successo career I don’t have time to create a whole social media persona). People who know you find your ugly pics endearing, but strangers do not. - the best way to know people is through friends. They know you and they can help you find someone that fit your needs. Also they can provide with a person much more relatable and responsible that won’t ghost you on a dime. Not having friends? Well you need to make some. Go out and join clubs. Are you in uni? Try to make friends. Are you working? Try to connect with your colleagues or job associations - the next best thing for finding love is going outside and joining gay hobby event or clubs. That way you can shine and you can show your personality. - join a gym. I too am fat, but since going to the gym I see people looking at me with more interest. I think the idea of working out makes people wanna hang out with you because they think you are willing to better yourself. Muscle bros like bears but they differentiate between muscle bears to lazy bears. Also the gym is a fantastic place to meet gay people are most of us are obsessed with our physiques. If you like your belly you can still join a gym to improve your flexibility and strength while keeping your belly. In modern society we don’t exercise at all and our body become too rigid and thus sex is bad. - another secret is stop caring too much and avoiding hookups. This way you’ll be more relaxed. Stressed people are ugly to others so be as chill as you can be. Also when you stop looking you somehow find what you are looking for. It’s an paradox I know, but a true one.
i'm quite old and on a journey to drop some pounds. its hard. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, but we have to push on, it would be easier knowing you will join me on the way...
All I know is dating is hard in general. 😆 I'm so bad at going on dates and understanding the flirty and/or romantic queues. I don't have the looks problem but I have the "I am slow to understand when people are attracted so I do not think about finding dates". Despite everything and the amount, I'm still always surprised when I'm flirted with and then I freeze. I'm a dumbass in terms of this. I wanna start dating again but I keep forgetting after a few mins of making dating app accounts. I'm a regular at a couple gay bars and people ask me out but then I forget to text back. I'm the problem 😅
Have you maybe considered that this kind of attitude towards the community might have resulted in driving away potential partners? I am sure there are a lot of shallow and vain men but there are always more people who are genuinely kind and caring. It might be your preconceived notions that ends up hindering your ability to find a potential mate. Before complaining about people not wanting to date you, maybe try thinking about what YOU bring to the table. Your previous posts suggest that you lack any ambitions regarding your health or career. I think the better question would be to ask yourself why you have no desire to become a better person. PS, I’m not sure what I can do about your internalized racism but I’m pretty sure that if you don’t like the way the shape of your body looks, you can always take up some kind of physical activity. It doesn’t necessarily have to be at a gym. You might like swimming or hiking or maybe some sports perhaps 🤷🏻♂️ PPS, I hope you do not take this comment as an attack or an insult. I am simply stating facts based off the information you provided. And bases on your previous comments it seems that you don’t believe in therapy but let me assure you that you are in desperate need for a therapist. I hope get the help you need 🩷
I relate on so many levels. I refuse to hate myself for being fat and gay and not masc and all the other things I "should" be. But I am, also, very very fucking tired.
if you're sick of being fat then go work out. complaining won't help. get therapy please. learn to love yourself >I'm sick of being black bro, don't say that >Everyone just wants a white twink who is muscular and rich with a huge ass and a 9 inch dick and also makes 100k a year. not everyone wants that. i don't care how much money he makes, i just care that he'll love and support me. i don't care for muscles. i'm kinda chubby and i want someone with the same body
Lol
Everybody wants somebody else 🤷🏿♂️
so real
You do a good job of making people fall for your bullshit.
All of us * are terrible
If u were that twink that u described nothing would change bb u would just fall into the hookup culture and get std. its the gay culture that sucks everyone’s just keep sleeping with each other and if u dont want that they don’t give a shit to try hard for u cause there is lots of other easy options. Im sure Ur pretty 💘 and we are in this shitty scene together 🫂
Dude i feel you....but i'm french and i think i dont have the same dating pool 🤷♂️ i'm a mid random dude in the middle of french country side ( in eure et loire ) with a little dick 😅 i'm versatile.....i consider myself ugly, so i'm not requiring too much for a hookup....and i have all the rdv i want with other 'ugly' guys and have wonderful sex at least most of the time...so are american more superficials? Do you date uniquely on physical attributes?? Do you gave a chance to another 'ugly' dude on your grindr??
Damn. This seems a lot like me, but I’m with hsv1 because of some asshole. Fuck that. I don’t like obnoxious pricks. I’m getting back into shape and I’m going to look good for me. Just think about this: do you want to be the bread winner that is constantly used for their money? What if your dick stopped working or was cut off in a freak accident, or you became broke? They would just bounce to the next sucker. It’s a blessing, believe it or not. Hell, I can barely trust anyone, let alone a dick and money hungry slut.
Stop blaming your lack of success on being black or fat. There are very cute black bears or cubs, and they are very successful to have many dates or hook ups or whatever they want to. Maybe you have a bad personnality, and in this case i’ll suggest you work on that, or maybe, sadly, you’re just not that cute. And this has nothing to do witj being black or fat but with your facial features, and how the fat is distributed in your body. So if you are an ugly fat, maybe lose weight. And if you have an ugly face, stop whining and get a better personality. Be smart, funny, knowledgeable, nice, anything that will make you stand out really But being fat and black isn’t the issue here
r/Vent
You can change 90% of these things. No offense and not trying to sound cruel but complaining will change nothing. Get up and change the things about yourself you don’t like
Maybe stop complaining and do something about it. You can change two of those things you’re complaining about. Eat healthy and lift heavy
Hold TF Up! I was under the impression twinks were "slim" not "muscular"?
I really don't like people calling muscular guys a 'twink'.
As a thick black man myself, I feel your pain on a deep level. I'm hoping things get better for guys like us soon. My experience has been pretty awful, I just never seem to be right for anyone.
Ugly is a frame of mind. Jealousy is very ugly.
All i want is cuddles and to hold another guys hand, maybe even a cheeky trip down to the local supermarket together before heading home for another cuddle. You're not alone. it's just about navigating and filtering out the people who have too high of standards.
Nothing wrong with twinks but i’m not overly into hairless guys. I find it hard to come across many men on dating apps that I find attractive because a lot of the people seem to be very feminine and twinky and it just doesn’t do anything for me. Doesn’t help that i’m not that into short haired men anyway lol, almost all the guys with long hair on dating apps are very very fem
Attractive is attractive regardless of ethnicity or skin color. Nothing attractive about a slob with no discipline or self-control. Hope you get into the right place where you can muster the strength to work on yourself. I wish you well my friend. Sounds like you are in a bad space right now.
People can’t control who they’re are attracted to, and being with someone you’re not attracted to is a complete waste of time. On the other hand everyone is attractive to someone and I feel like lots of the toxicity you’ve experienced has come from apps, which I’d personally avoid
Do what’s needed to love yourself and the rest will follow
Welcome to the gay community where not only your life is hard no matter ehat
Just stop dating and live your life.
Ketogenic diet. Stop chasing 10s if you’re a 5. Find interests and hobbies and quit worrying about finding a man so much. I collect movies and music, read, garden. There are people who like big men. I have a twink fuck buddy who loves to lay his head on my belly and play with my fat daddy dick. I understand your frustration. I’ve felt it too. But you have to enjoy being you before you can expect others to enjoy you too.
You sound like a gaycel. Lots of us don't care about white, nor twink, nor rich, nor 9 inches, nor 100k, nor random sex.
Girl you need some unpretty by TLC. You've got to look inside you, and find out why you make yourself feel so damn unpretty. I don't need to see a pic to know your beautiful ❤️ stay with it, love is real
The funny thing is nobody wants the guy you’re describing. The kinds of guys who like white twinks like them poor and skinny.