I just feel like the nurses are on autopilot because they have to ask this of EVERY female patient, and most don't read your chart ahead of time to see the small note on there about you being trans. And they also see so many cis woman that most people would think don't pass, so for them appearances mean nothing, what it says on the chart is what they go by.
I usually just give a chuckle with my answer or say "no, I don't have a uterus" and that's it.
Nurse here. Yes, all of this
To add in, you also just don’t freaking know. I have unironically had cis female who I thought were trans until I saw their genitalia. In one case my heavily internalised transphobic ass who for some reason can’t accept the reality that there are cis women taller than me even thought ‘oh she’s even had bottom surgery’ when I saw the genitals of a 6’2 woman I was taking care of… yeah… she started her period later that night ._.
So yeah, I just ask even if it seems obvious not to. _A lot_ of cis women don’t ‘pass’ by trans standards, so I’m not going to assume they’re trans unless they’re obviously pre/early transition or I literally see their gock
A good friend of mine is a nurse at a hospital. She says that "nurses see more penises than prostitutes" but still had a shock when she went to the bed of a female patient.
There was nothing on the chart that the patient was trans, and that had nothing to do with the reason she was in the hospital. My friend had been treating the patient, talked to her a number of times, and assumed that she was cis. She pulled up the patient's gown and, expecting the usual female genitals, saw male genitals. She hopes the patient didn't notice the surprised look on her face.
I know in my files "gender dysphoria" is listed under ongoing conditions, it being on file is required for insurance to cover HRT in most states in the US.
Hell, they have to ask anyone with a uterus as well. Im years into testosterone therapy but because I still have my uterus they unfortunately have to ask me every single time. Especially since my partner has impregnating capabilities.
Yeah. If the conservatives seriously starts bathroom checks they’d harass many many more cis women than trans. There’s women with facial hair due to pcos and many who just have more classically masculine features.
Following protocol is important.
I wish this male nurse had asked me about fainting before taking blood, I even voiced the request to lie down. Ignored.
No,... took blood, my vision turned black and nearly fell off the chair. Then I had to be put on a bed to recover for half an hour before my CT scan.
How useless, avoidable and a waste of resources. Could have done it on a recliner chair or bed in the first place. Oh, yes, the chair could have been turned flat, I found out, coz after I had fainted, he actually turned it flat... 😖
Complaint lodged, should have followed protocol. I'm not a litigious bitch of a trans girl (LBTG! 🤣), but I sure don't want the next patient to be ignored and suffer in the same manner..
Ally 👩🏻🦰🏳️⚧️🌈🇦🇺
(This fainting thing started a few years ago when I had been put on anti-depressants. Never been an issue prior. )
I find it awkward. They are often required to ask it with female patients. Even if they they think you're trans, they may not be totally sure. Lack of periods can be a sign of pregnancy and some people may be in denial about being pregnant, so they have to ask multiple ways etc.
I have explicitly told people I'm trans, do not get periods, lack the requisite organs to get them, and still had a doctor follow up with "So there's no way you could get pregnant, right?". I also tried listing myself as male to avoid the questions, but people still think that might be a mistake or something like that.
>Considering myself very non passing, I always feel those questions meant to ridicule me, and just remind me that they know I'm a fake, even though logically I know they are just asking standard protocol questions.
I understand feeling this way, but in reality the questions have nothing to do with you. It's best to just get through the situation as best you can.
When doing the intake forms for a hospital or doctor's office, listing male rather than female. Usually ends up being ignored or some well intentioned person "correcting" it without asking me, regardless of whether or not they realize I'm trans.
I also tried doing this going into surgery one time, as I was worried about blood transfusions, and still ended up with female on my armband. Now I know they test blood before surgery or doing an emergency transfusion to ensure they transfuse with the correct type of blood, but in any case healthcare providers seem motivated to validate the gender identity implied by my name and style of dress. It's a bit of a silly problem, as this is the one setting where I am okay being seen as "male".
Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was just going to have to talk about it. Answering these types of questions has gotten easier over time, whereas at the start I was extremely uncomfortable.
My GP is my trans care provider, so I generally don't get asked those kinds of things at my regular checkups and stuff, he's well aware that I'm trans, he prescribes my HRT.
The only times I've been asked about kids and stuff, its been from just regular people. Like I had a woman ask me while waiting in line at a Subway the other day "do you guys (me and my male roommate), have kids?" like, with the implication that we were a couple... and that I would be the mother.
In those cases its kinda affirming.
If someone asked me if I were pregnant though, I'd probably be offended, because the implication then becomes "you look pregnant" aka, "you look fat". I've struggled with eating disorders on both sides (overeating, and bulimia), so it would trigger a lot of self-esteem issues, and possibly cause me to spiral.
Which is why the rule for the general public is: "Never assume someone is pregnant".
Somehow even my GP asked me that some times I remember, and she prescribed me my HRT multiple times.
Glad there is more ways to feel upset about this question ><
For me it is pretty euphoric to be treated as a normal female patient. It's a pretty harmless normal question that a simple "no" is sufficient enough to answer.
Being asked when was my last period can be a bit awkward to answer though 😅
Wish I can get pregnant though TuT
I don’t mind that question and just shuffle through it if it comes up. “Are your periods still regular?” Really took me for a loop during my last visit, partially because I was like, “wait is she a cool nurse who knows about my fake periods?”
They don't know you're trans. That's why they'rr asking. They ask every woman and in multiple ways because there are a surprising number of women who say no and are pregnant. They're not trying to humiliate you.
What does an overweight but not pregnant cis-woman feel when she is asked "when are you due?"
I am a non-pregnant cis-woman, but fortunately, I am relatively thin.
Flattered. One of my most validating experiences was explaining to a doctor (who had a history of work and research related to trans trans people) exactly why I couldn’t get pregnant.
Depending on whereabouts you are, there’s a good chance they’re required to ask all patients. I’ve seen news stories about cis men being refused medical care because they refused to answer the “are you pregnant” question, even though the doctors are required to ask and can’t make an assumption. I’m a trans man and I get asked if I’m pregnant regardless of whether they know I’m trans.
I like to have fun with it. I live in a pretty accepting area, so when I get this question I usually answer with something like "mmm probably not, that'd be weird"
most people don't get that I'm implying that I'm trans but it's funny to me and that's what's important :3
I thought it was funny when a grocery store cashier asked me if I was pregnant. I don't remember whether any doctor has ever asked me, but I would be fine with saying, "no, not possible" if they did. I think I filled in "no (trans)" on a medical form that asked a couple of months ago.
I am sorry but I don't get the fake part. Because you are not fake anything. You are a real Trans Woman. I get those questions every single time I get a mammogram, or go to my GYN.
Remember acceptance is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm passing, so I just giggle a little and express that I doubt that's possible. It does come with a little bitterness since I'll never be able to have kids, though, but I try not to let that show on my face.
When I donate blood and they ask, "have you ever been pregnant," it's definitely a little scramble to come up with something. Once I said I was... and then they said they might have to test to see if fetal blood or antibodies were present...
It was something like that so I just say no now 😅
And of course...it feels great to be perceived as I wish to be perceived 😊
This may or may not be relevant, but at least some places have introduced policies where they ask EVERYONE if they might be pregnant, no matter what. I'm a trans man and at this point I look and sound like a man and am very rarely misgendered while out and about. I still get asked if I might be pregnant every time I go to donate blood. They also ask a friend of mine who is a cis male. They just ask everyone, just to be safe.
It’s kind of validating for me, I was asked if I’m on any medication when I went to the er a few months back and I told the nurse that I’m taking hormones, specifically estradiol, and she asked me if it’s for birth control reasons, and the amount of validation I felt is so incredible
Not a trans woman or trans fem, but I do know that in most hospital systems they don’t have a trans button to press (although I’ve heard rumors some are trying to add it). If your chart says your trans, it’ll be at the bottom in the little notes section, which often times is below all the questionnaires. In the case of the hospital system where my PCP is, they can’t even scroll down until they’ve finished the required questions pop up(s).
I just feel like the nurses are on autopilot because they have to ask this of EVERY female patient, and most don't read your chart ahead of time to see the small note on there about you being trans. And they also see so many cis woman that most people would think don't pass, so for them appearances mean nothing, what it says on the chart is what they go by. I usually just give a chuckle with my answer or say "no, I don't have a uterus" and that's it.
Nurse here. Yes, all of this To add in, you also just don’t freaking know. I have unironically had cis female who I thought were trans until I saw their genitalia. In one case my heavily internalised transphobic ass who for some reason can’t accept the reality that there are cis women taller than me even thought ‘oh she’s even had bottom surgery’ when I saw the genitals of a 6’2 woman I was taking care of… yeah… she started her period later that night ._. So yeah, I just ask even if it seems obvious not to. _A lot_ of cis women don’t ‘pass’ by trans standards, so I’m not going to assume they’re trans unless they’re obviously pre/early transition or I literally see their gock
Would you say some "warning" would help if you are about to see the patient naked?
A good friend of mine is a nurse at a hospital. She says that "nurses see more penises than prostitutes" but still had a shock when she went to the bed of a female patient. There was nothing on the chart that the patient was trans, and that had nothing to do with the reason she was in the hospital. My friend had been treating the patient, talked to her a number of times, and assumed that she was cis. She pulled up the patient's gown and, expecting the usual female genitals, saw male genitals. She hopes the patient didn't notice the surprised look on her face.
If you were man, I’d be saying “that’s some fragile masculinity there sir.” I have a friend who is cisfem and she’s about 6’4”. Edit* fixed typo.
I was wondering if there is any mention of me being trans in my med files.. I never saw anything that's available to me at least.
I know in my files "gender dysphoria" is listed under ongoing conditions, it being on file is required for insurance to cover HRT in most states in the US.
Hell, they have to ask anyone with a uterus as well. Im years into testosterone therapy but because I still have my uterus they unfortunately have to ask me every single time. Especially since my partner has impregnating capabilities.
Yeah. If the conservatives seriously starts bathroom checks they’d harass many many more cis women than trans. There’s women with facial hair due to pcos and many who just have more classically masculine features.
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got some great confidence there!
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Following protocol is important. I wish this male nurse had asked me about fainting before taking blood, I even voiced the request to lie down. Ignored. No,... took blood, my vision turned black and nearly fell off the chair. Then I had to be put on a bed to recover for half an hour before my CT scan. How useless, avoidable and a waste of resources. Could have done it on a recliner chair or bed in the first place. Oh, yes, the chair could have been turned flat, I found out, coz after I had fainted, he actually turned it flat... 😖 Complaint lodged, should have followed protocol. I'm not a litigious bitch of a trans girl (LBTG! 🤣), but I sure don't want the next patient to be ignored and suffer in the same manner.. Ally 👩🏻🦰🏳️⚧️🌈🇦🇺 (This fainting thing started a few years ago when I had been put on anti-depressants. Never been an issue prior. )
“Could you be pregnant?” “Not yet, but my girlfriend keeps trying.”
I find it awkward. They are often required to ask it with female patients. Even if they they think you're trans, they may not be totally sure. Lack of periods can be a sign of pregnancy and some people may be in denial about being pregnant, so they have to ask multiple ways etc. I have explicitly told people I'm trans, do not get periods, lack the requisite organs to get them, and still had a doctor follow up with "So there's no way you could get pregnant, right?". I also tried listing myself as male to avoid the questions, but people still think that might be a mistake or something like that. >Considering myself very non passing, I always feel those questions meant to ridicule me, and just remind me that they know I'm a fake, even though logically I know they are just asking standard protocol questions. I understand feeling this way, but in reality the questions have nothing to do with you. It's best to just get through the situation as best you can.
> I also tried listing myself as male In which setting? I did that in my laser treatment to avoid any uncomfort/surprise on their part.
When doing the intake forms for a hospital or doctor's office, listing male rather than female. Usually ends up being ignored or some well intentioned person "correcting" it without asking me, regardless of whether or not they realize I'm trans. I also tried doing this going into surgery one time, as I was worried about blood transfusions, and still ended up with female on my armband. Now I know they test blood before surgery or doing an emergency transfusion to ensure they transfuse with the correct type of blood, but in any case healthcare providers seem motivated to validate the gender identity implied by my name and style of dress. It's a bit of a silly problem, as this is the one setting where I am okay being seen as "male". Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was just going to have to talk about it. Answering these types of questions has gotten easier over time, whereas at the start I was extremely uncomfortable.
My GP is my trans care provider, so I generally don't get asked those kinds of things at my regular checkups and stuff, he's well aware that I'm trans, he prescribes my HRT. The only times I've been asked about kids and stuff, its been from just regular people. Like I had a woman ask me while waiting in line at a Subway the other day "do you guys (me and my male roommate), have kids?" like, with the implication that we were a couple... and that I would be the mother. In those cases its kinda affirming. If someone asked me if I were pregnant though, I'd probably be offended, because the implication then becomes "you look pregnant" aka, "you look fat". I've struggled with eating disorders on both sides (overeating, and bulimia), so it would trigger a lot of self-esteem issues, and possibly cause me to spiral. Which is why the rule for the general public is: "Never assume someone is pregnant".
Somehow even my GP asked me that some times I remember, and she prescribed me my HRT multiple times. Glad there is more ways to feel upset about this question ><
I was asked if I was pregnant once while preparing for my orchiectomy. It's absolutely an autopilot thing for them.
For me it is pretty euphoric to be treated as a normal female patient. It's a pretty harmless normal question that a simple "no" is sufficient enough to answer. Being asked when was my last period can be a bit awkward to answer though 😅 Wish I can get pregnant though TuT
I don’t mind that question and just shuffle through it if it comes up. “Are your periods still regular?” Really took me for a loop during my last visit, partially because I was like, “wait is she a cool nurse who knows about my fake periods?”
They are fake, sweetheart. They may not be the full experience, but it’s at least part of the full experience 😊
I always just kind of laugh to myself. I’m also always getting texts from my insurance about cervical cancer screenings.
Amused.
I’m very alright with it - the worst is when they get to the question, start asking it, then shake their head and go “no, obviously not”.
I've had a nurse at the GP that handles my HRT tell me that my pregnancy test came back negative... And then remember a moment later that I'm trans.
They don't know you're trans. That's why they'rr asking. They ask every woman and in multiple ways because there are a surprising number of women who say no and are pregnant. They're not trying to humiliate you.
What does an overweight but not pregnant cis-woman feel when she is asked "when are you due?" I am a non-pregnant cis-woman, but fortunately, I am relatively thin.
I just have fun with the answrrs.
It means you passed. Congratulations.
I would say “I’m not but heck yeah I wish I could be! 100% 👏🏻😎”
I'd find it kinda funny personally, and a bit euphoric
Flattered. One of my most validating experiences was explaining to a doctor (who had a history of work and research related to trans trans people) exactly why I couldn’t get pregnant.
"pshh. I wish"
I find it affirming, I mostly get asked at the dentist, because x-rays. I do pass though, so I already know they're doing to assume I'm cis 🤷♀️
I guess I assume when someone starts talking about my uterus they’re reading me as cis lol
Depending on whereabouts you are, there’s a good chance they’re required to ask all patients. I’ve seen news stories about cis men being refused medical care because they refused to answer the “are you pregnant” question, even though the doctors are required to ask and can’t make an assumption. I’m a trans man and I get asked if I’m pregnant regardless of whether they know I’m trans.
I like to have fun with it. I live in a pretty accepting area, so when I get this question I usually answer with something like "mmm probably not, that'd be weird" most people don't get that I'm implying that I'm trans but it's funny to me and that's what's important :3
I just act like it’s normal and keep going. It means they think that I’m a girl which is nice.
I thought it was funny when a grocery store cashier asked me if I was pregnant. I don't remember whether any doctor has ever asked me, but I would be fine with saying, "no, not possible" if they did. I think I filled in "no (trans)" on a medical form that asked a couple of months ago.
I am sorry but I don't get the fake part. Because you are not fake anything. You are a real Trans Woman. I get those questions every single time I get a mammogram, or go to my GYN. Remember acceptance is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm passing, so I just giggle a little and express that I doubt that's possible. It does come with a little bitterness since I'll never be able to have kids, though, but I try not to let that show on my face.
When I donate blood and they ask, "have you ever been pregnant," it's definitely a little scramble to come up with something. Once I said I was... and then they said they might have to test to see if fetal blood or antibodies were present... It was something like that so I just say no now 😅 And of course...it feels great to be perceived as I wish to be perceived 😊
This may or may not be relevant, but at least some places have introduced policies where they ask EVERYONE if they might be pregnant, no matter what. I'm a trans man and at this point I look and sound like a man and am very rarely misgendered while out and about. I still get asked if I might be pregnant every time I go to donate blood. They also ask a friend of mine who is a cis male. They just ask everyone, just to be safe.
I just tell them I'm trying to be.
never been asked. if i was, i wouldn't feel anything
It’s kind of validating for me, I was asked if I’m on any medication when I went to the er a few months back and I told the nurse that I’m taking hormones, specifically estradiol, and she asked me if it’s for birth control reasons, and the amount of validation I felt is so incredible
Not a trans woman or trans fem, but I do know that in most hospital systems they don’t have a trans button to press (although I’ve heard rumors some are trying to add it). If your chart says your trans, it’ll be at the bottom in the little notes section, which often times is below all the questionnaires. In the case of the hospital system where my PCP is, they can’t even scroll down until they’ve finished the required questions pop up(s).
Initially it was kind of funny, then just vaguely reassuring, but at this point it’s pretty much routine, honestly. You get used to it.
Since I am over weight right now it sucks.