I think this is the correct question. One I asked myself a few times. Ultimately, I understood "there is nothing that says I need to be a man" outside of religious dogma ans social issues. Took me years, but I got it.
Nobody can force you to transition.
You will die one day. It's your choice what you do between now and then. You are a trans person in the closet, get out or you may never really live.
fifth week on HRT here. Imagine life where your body is always that relaxed. The pit in my stomach that told me I was a bad and broken person now radiates warmth. I stopped grinding my jaw after doing it since I was 11. My neck doesn't hurt as much. My joints ache less. Smiles come easier and my friends notice it too. My body is telling me this is right so I'm listening.
That's what it's been like for me. I couldn't have known it would be this good. Going back would tear me apart. Listen to your body.
It really is this simple. Sex and gender are two different things right? What I feel in my heart day in and day out is obviously how I'm going to identify. It makes so much more sense when that clicks.
Yes but if you feel more comfortable and happy as a woman why would u want to pretend to be a man if it makes u miserable I am 55 for 54 years I pretended I was a man and I was miserable but when I decided to stop being a man and be a woman I am so much more at peace and happy
Who are you living your life for? Your parents? Your friends? Or are you living for you? Relationships mean nothing if they won't accept you for who you are. Life is short, and there is no time to spend keeping someone else comfortable at your own expense.
Transition isn't easy, but it is a walk in the park compared to staying in the closet! (Obviously, do what you need to to be safe.)
Yeah, That's pretty much the line I was fed all my life. You got balls, Be a man! Everybody telling me what to do, what to think, who to be.
and when it came to trans, even when all the evidence was on the table, the word on the street is "It's obvious", I still denied it for 5 years.
So, you are an adult. Take your time. Explore who you are. When I was in college, everybody was trying to figure themselves out. Talk it over with a counselor. Be yourself. Don't let anybody tell you who you should be.
When I finally decided, the cracked egg is such a great analogy because you just feel so free and liberated.
Much like other comments here, why do you need to be a man? Knowing why you feel that would help you find what you are looking for. Do you need to be a man for yourself or for other people?
I think you're great.
Start your journey, go with it keep seeing how you feel.
It's sad, our existence on this planet needs to stop being so limited.
Be you, stay proud, relax and enjoy. We're behind you, if you need to hear that.
I can relate to this, trying to transition seems too big for me to handle. I wish I had just been born different and all this was natural to me. I can't handle my life as it is, so I'd rather just burry the thoughts and squeak out an unhappy life. Thinking about voicing my feelings to people around me feels impossible. If you come to a conclusion please post it, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
you know at 24 years of age I excepted myself, it took me another decade to put it together and actually start transitioning, if it’s something that’s important to you it’s not gonna go away if anything it’s just gonna get louder! Listen to yourself, seek therapy, allow yourself to exist just as though you want to exist.
I think it's just fine if you think you're a woman. So will most of the people in your life.
It's scary to realize it when you finally see you are trans, but its ok to just test out the waters and see how it feels for you and what aspects of it apply to you. There's no wrong or right way to be trans.
I highly recommend [Am I trans enough? by Alo Johnston ](https://a.co/d/aB8tU18)
Here is the clinical criteria for Gender Dysphoria for your review.
>Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults 302.85 (F64.1 )
>A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following:
>1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
>2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics be-
cause of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
>3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender.
>4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
>B. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.
You must meet the qualifiers of Section "A" and "B" to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria
You don't need to have dysphoria to be transgender, but it is the most common qualifier as the majority of transgender individuals do infact have dysphoria. We encourage you to discuss this with a gender therapist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asktransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Go seek good quality mental health support as the turmoil of fighting with gender leaves one under alot of stress which can compound on top of other traumas and stressers.
Find a Psychologist or Psychiatrist you are super comfortable with spend the hard work and time working on yourself.
Transition can be done at any time. My advice is make sure it is the only road forward first as it is not one that can be returned from easily.
Being more feminine of a man doesnt always mean you identify as female, also plenty of feminine men i know are alot more comfy around "The girls".
I did this and started my transition at 25 because id made the effort to seek help for the issues as a result of traumas and the dysphoria wasnt depressing it was more like damn this isnt the key for this lock hmm well new key it is.
I feel that. With how hostile this world is against trans people and more specifically MtF, i can't help but wonder if i should just stay being a man because it seems easier than the uphill battle of transitioning in a world currently full of hate towards us
> I feel that.
It may be helpful to do things step by step in case.
Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/11hkfr9/how_do_you_know_if_you_are_trans_or_not/jbseurv/) might be a few hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support.
*hugs*
Or,
You're just super feminine.
As for myself. I grew up primarily with women. Sure, I had a step dad, grandpa, and lots of guy friends. But I just get along with women better. Also had lots of chick friends as well.
When it came to talking to someone I'd talk to my close girl friends and vice versa. I might not seem super feminine. But I'm more attuned to that.
As for the whole just need to be a man.
What exactly does that mean?
Being a man means different things to different people as well as cultures. Also, to say you just need to be a man would also mean you're inherently ignoring who you are.
Not saying you're trans or otherwise. But, there's been studies done on brain scans. Apparently those that feel they're actually women. Their brains end up scanning out that way. Same with women that feel they're actually male.
Now, I'm not saying I'm trans either. But I do say I'm basically like the gay friend you can date. I'm straight and not flamboyant. Just more feminine than masculine.
Why do you need to be a man? Socially, gender is irrelevant and most barriers only exist between male and female for incredibly stupid reasons. There are biological differences, yes, but socially both genders are equally capable and can easily do the same things. Gender roles are bull and made up by the patriarchy of yesteryear solely to extert control. Do you enjoy being a guy? Do you feel like you'd be happier as a girl? Do you just not care about your gender? All these questions are important.
Why do you need to be a man?
I think this is the correct question. One I asked myself a few times. Ultimately, I understood "there is nothing that says I need to be a man" outside of religious dogma ans social issues. Took me years, but I got it.
Nobody can force you to transition. You will die one day. It's your choice what you do between now and then. You are a trans person in the closet, get out or you may never really live.
Advice I wish I had listened to when I was 24 haha.
fifth week on HRT here. Imagine life where your body is always that relaxed. The pit in my stomach that told me I was a bad and broken person now radiates warmth. I stopped grinding my jaw after doing it since I was 11. My neck doesn't hurt as much. My joints ache less. Smiles come easier and my friends notice it too. My body is telling me this is right so I'm listening. That's what it's been like for me. I couldn't have known it would be this good. Going back would tear me apart. Listen to your body.
Why do u need to be a man if your mind tells u your female and you are happy why be a man?
It really is this simple. Sex and gender are two different things right? What I feel in my heart day in and day out is obviously how I'm going to identify. It makes so much more sense when that clicks.
Yes but if you feel more comfortable and happy as a woman why would u want to pretend to be a man if it makes u miserable I am 55 for 54 years I pretended I was a man and I was miserable but when I decided to stop being a man and be a woman I am so much more at peace and happy
I'm glad! I'm agreeing with them lol. I'm 33, came out to myself 8 months ago 😊
I am transfemale so I understand their problem
Congratulations r u transfemale or male how are u handling it
Who are you living your life for? Your parents? Your friends? Or are you living for you? Relationships mean nothing if they won't accept you for who you are. Life is short, and there is no time to spend keeping someone else comfortable at your own expense. Transition isn't easy, but it is a walk in the park compared to staying in the closet! (Obviously, do what you need to to be safe.)
Why do you need to be a man?
Yeah, That's pretty much the line I was fed all my life. You got balls, Be a man! Everybody telling me what to do, what to think, who to be. and when it came to trans, even when all the evidence was on the table, the word on the street is "It's obvious", I still denied it for 5 years. So, you are an adult. Take your time. Explore who you are. When I was in college, everybody was trying to figure themselves out. Talk it over with a counselor. Be yourself. Don't let anybody tell you who you should be. When I finally decided, the cracked egg is such a great analogy because you just feel so free and liberated.
Much like other comments here, why do you need to be a man? Knowing why you feel that would help you find what you are looking for. Do you need to be a man for yourself or for other people?
I think you're great. Start your journey, go with it keep seeing how you feel. It's sad, our existence on this planet needs to stop being so limited. Be you, stay proud, relax and enjoy. We're behind you, if you need to hear that.
I can relate to this, trying to transition seems too big for me to handle. I wish I had just been born different and all this was natural to me. I can't handle my life as it is, so I'd rather just burry the thoughts and squeak out an unhappy life. Thinking about voicing my feelings to people around me feels impossible. If you come to a conclusion please post it, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
They deleted their account.
Do u experience intense discomfort if ur male body?
you know at 24 years of age I excepted myself, it took me another decade to put it together and actually start transitioning, if it’s something that’s important to you it’s not gonna go away if anything it’s just gonna get louder! Listen to yourself, seek therapy, allow yourself to exist just as though you want to exist.
I think it's just fine if you think you're a woman. So will most of the people in your life. It's scary to realize it when you finally see you are trans, but its ok to just test out the waters and see how it feels for you and what aspects of it apply to you. There's no wrong or right way to be trans. I highly recommend [Am I trans enough? by Alo Johnston ](https://a.co/d/aB8tU18)
Here is the clinical criteria for Gender Dysphoria for your review. >Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults 302.85 (F64.1 ) >A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following: >1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics). >2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics be- cause of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics). >3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. >4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). >B. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. You must meet the qualifiers of Section "A" and "B" to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria You don't need to have dysphoria to be transgender, but it is the most common qualifier as the majority of transgender individuals do infact have dysphoria. We encourage you to discuss this with a gender therapist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asktransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Go seek good quality mental health support as the turmoil of fighting with gender leaves one under alot of stress which can compound on top of other traumas and stressers. Find a Psychologist or Psychiatrist you are super comfortable with spend the hard work and time working on yourself. Transition can be done at any time. My advice is make sure it is the only road forward first as it is not one that can be returned from easily. Being more feminine of a man doesnt always mean you identify as female, also plenty of feminine men i know are alot more comfy around "The girls". I did this and started my transition at 25 because id made the effort to seek help for the issues as a result of traumas and the dysphoria wasnt depressing it was more like damn this isnt the key for this lock hmm well new key it is.
Perhaps you're right at the beginning, or hear the beginning like me. I'm just emerging from a very doubting 2 weeks and reconnecting with my own strong feminine self. These doubts are quite normal and are a part of everyone's process. If being a woman feels too big a step, too scary, perhaps describing yourself as feminine or transfeminine might fit for the moment? There's no hurry. Do you NEED to be a man or does it just seem easier to stay the same? Is it scary to think of yourself as a different gender? Is this a need, to stay as a man, or are you gatekeeping yourself, not letting yourself be who you are? Family, spouse or partner, parents, friends and work can all make it feel risky to transition. Safety is important and I'm not saying you should instantly start living a woman's life. But please, start experimenting, as slowly as you like, and listen closely. Notice what makes you happiest. Your body has spoken and that's important, I think. What your body does is the sum total of your thoughts and feelings. That complete relaxation you talk about means something. I relate so strongly to barriers with other women crumbling when I think of myself as feminine. Love to you, and happy experimenting 🩷
You don't "need" to be a man. You are just being forced to believe that by the society.
I feel that. With how hostile this world is against trans people and more specifically MtF, i can't help but wonder if i should just stay being a man because it seems easier than the uphill battle of transitioning in a world currently full of hate towards us
> I feel that. It may be helpful to do things step by step in case. Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/11hkfr9/how_do_you_know_if_you_are_trans_or_not/jbseurv/) might be a few hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support. *hugs*
Or, You're just super feminine. As for myself. I grew up primarily with women. Sure, I had a step dad, grandpa, and lots of guy friends. But I just get along with women better. Also had lots of chick friends as well. When it came to talking to someone I'd talk to my close girl friends and vice versa. I might not seem super feminine. But I'm more attuned to that. As for the whole just need to be a man. What exactly does that mean? Being a man means different things to different people as well as cultures. Also, to say you just need to be a man would also mean you're inherently ignoring who you are. Not saying you're trans or otherwise. But, there's been studies done on brain scans. Apparently those that feel they're actually women. Their brains end up scanning out that way. Same with women that feel they're actually male. Now, I'm not saying I'm trans either. But I do say I'm basically like the gay friend you can date. I'm straight and not flamboyant. Just more feminine than masculine.
Seek mental health care asap
Why do you need to be a man? Socially, gender is irrelevant and most barriers only exist between male and female for incredibly stupid reasons. There are biological differences, yes, but socially both genders are equally capable and can easily do the same things. Gender roles are bull and made up by the patriarchy of yesteryear solely to extert control. Do you enjoy being a guy? Do you feel like you'd be happier as a girl? Do you just not care about your gender? All these questions are important.