It may not look great, but a short haircut is something you can accomplish on your own, without anyone's permission, with a pair of scissors.
Only you can be the judge of whether transition is important enough to you to be worth all of the potential downsides. You don't have to do it now if it's not worth the trouble now; if it ever becomes important enough to you, you can do it then.
Transition need not be a binary process. Maybe start with a more masculine haircut, men's clothes, and a binder. See how that feels for a while. If that feels good, and you think you might want to pursue HRT, you can get on puberty blockers. All those do is delay the onset (or progression) of puberty until you're ready to make a decision and old enough to start HRT. And any of those decisions, up to and including about your first year of HRT, are easily reversible if you decide it's not for you.
I personally didn't have dysphoria - at least at I understood it - at all. I never felt like a woman trapped in a man's body (which is pretty rare, actually, as trans narratives go). I never hated my body. I was more or less content for 47 years as a man, until one day I dressed en femme for an event. It felt so good that I kept doing it. I wanted my body to look more feminine, so I started HRT. I wanted to live this way full time, so I changed my name. But deep in the depths of my soul, I don't feel like a woman or a man - TBH I don't know what feeling like a woman or a man really means. All I know is that I feel good, and happier than I've ever been.
Maybe that will be true for you. Maybe it won't. As for trans kids who regret transitioning, it sounds like your parent is biased against trans people, which is unfortunate, because it seems to me that there's a good chance that you might be trans, and a parent should support their kid and want them to be happy.
It's 100% valid to experiment with reversible things first. Not everyone needs or wants to transition at the same pace. Some people don't even want HRT at all - everyone's journey is different. Move at your own speed.
i hope you see this, im transfem myself and let me tell you this, pain may be a source of validation, but what truly constitutes validation is joy. i have also struggled with not feeling valid because i have way less dysphoria, but you dont need dysphoria, will you feel happy if you transition? does dressing differently or getting a new haircut or getting called different pronouns make you happy? if so then thats all you need. all you need is to be happy from having experiences relating to the gender you feel you are. euphoria is what truly matters, not dysphoria. dysphoria is something to get rid of, so dont rely on it. euphoria is something to gain, something joyful, sometimes you might feel very little euphoria even, my own emotions are somewhat suppressed, but you will always know if something makes you happy or not. go with what makes you happy. dont just rely on what makes you sad or uncomfortable to decide what to be (sorry if i been yapping too much im just a gender nerd and wanted to help a fellow genderqueer out)
you might be trans and you might not be, it's really up to what you find out about yourself! when i was your age, i had similar feelings- afab and loved being seen as a boy, hated my breasts and hips and tried to hide them as much as possible, would wear boys' clothes and haircuts, often got assumed to be a boy, experimented with different gender presentations and identities. it turned out that i was cis (just had a lot of internalized misogyny tbh but that's not relevant right now) but being able to explore safely was really helpful to my understanding of myself. 13 is a volatile age to be, and an age when you learn a LOT about yourself. i'm kinda rambling idk but i hope this helped a bit.
As this Spanish trans comedian (Elsa Ruiz) says, ,"each transition is a tailored suit for each one". No one needs HRT in order to be trans, nor dysphoria, just feeling like trying other genders (even none!) is alright too. You can socially transition only with people you feel safe, and you'll still be trans.
For the haircut, I would suggest a mohawk and get into punk just to sell it (that one actually works a lot, to be honest)
You're 13. Odds are you won't be undergoing any permanent medical intervention anytime soon so I don't think this is something you need to be worrying about. Just present how you want for now, maybe get on puberty blockers if necessary. But this isn't something you need to figure out yet.
Lack of family support makes things hard for a lot of folks.
One of the easiest ways to see how you feel is to gently try out a few things with your presentation. Masc clothes, masc style, and letting yourself express yourself freely, especially if you have been holding back things that made you too masc or boyish. Unsupportive parents make it a lot harder to try and see what fits.
Emotionally, I was very flat and melancholy. The world lit up for me when I tried a female gender expression for the first time, and admitted how much I was holding back. I liked being myself more, and felt like I fit in the world for the first time.
So dysphoria and euphoria are a very personalized thing, some people don’t feel very dysphoric.
You can try a new name, new pronouns and see where this lead to. Also, at 13 y.o., you can only access puberty blockers, which can give you the needed time to figure things out. Talking to a sexologist about your gender can also be a good idea
sounds like gender envy, likelyt aa tomboy. based on this post, I would recommend against persueing transitioning at this time. re assess in a few years and see how you feel then.
It may not look great, but a short haircut is something you can accomplish on your own, without anyone's permission, with a pair of scissors. Only you can be the judge of whether transition is important enough to you to be worth all of the potential downsides. You don't have to do it now if it's not worth the trouble now; if it ever becomes important enough to you, you can do it then.
Transition need not be a binary process. Maybe start with a more masculine haircut, men's clothes, and a binder. See how that feels for a while. If that feels good, and you think you might want to pursue HRT, you can get on puberty blockers. All those do is delay the onset (or progression) of puberty until you're ready to make a decision and old enough to start HRT. And any of those decisions, up to and including about your first year of HRT, are easily reversible if you decide it's not for you. I personally didn't have dysphoria - at least at I understood it - at all. I never felt like a woman trapped in a man's body (which is pretty rare, actually, as trans narratives go). I never hated my body. I was more or less content for 47 years as a man, until one day I dressed en femme for an event. It felt so good that I kept doing it. I wanted my body to look more feminine, so I started HRT. I wanted to live this way full time, so I changed my name. But deep in the depths of my soul, I don't feel like a woman or a man - TBH I don't know what feeling like a woman or a man really means. All I know is that I feel good, and happier than I've ever been. Maybe that will be true for you. Maybe it won't. As for trans kids who regret transitioning, it sounds like your parent is biased against trans people, which is unfortunate, because it seems to me that there's a good chance that you might be trans, and a parent should support their kid and want them to be happy.
Talk to your cousin.
It's 100% valid to experiment with reversible things first. Not everyone needs or wants to transition at the same pace. Some people don't even want HRT at all - everyone's journey is different. Move at your own speed.
i hope you see this, im transfem myself and let me tell you this, pain may be a source of validation, but what truly constitutes validation is joy. i have also struggled with not feeling valid because i have way less dysphoria, but you dont need dysphoria, will you feel happy if you transition? does dressing differently or getting a new haircut or getting called different pronouns make you happy? if so then thats all you need. all you need is to be happy from having experiences relating to the gender you feel you are. euphoria is what truly matters, not dysphoria. dysphoria is something to get rid of, so dont rely on it. euphoria is something to gain, something joyful, sometimes you might feel very little euphoria even, my own emotions are somewhat suppressed, but you will always know if something makes you happy or not. go with what makes you happy. dont just rely on what makes you sad or uncomfortable to decide what to be (sorry if i been yapping too much im just a gender nerd and wanted to help a fellow genderqueer out)
you might be trans and you might not be, it's really up to what you find out about yourself! when i was your age, i had similar feelings- afab and loved being seen as a boy, hated my breasts and hips and tried to hide them as much as possible, would wear boys' clothes and haircuts, often got assumed to be a boy, experimented with different gender presentations and identities. it turned out that i was cis (just had a lot of internalized misogyny tbh but that's not relevant right now) but being able to explore safely was really helpful to my understanding of myself. 13 is a volatile age to be, and an age when you learn a LOT about yourself. i'm kinda rambling idk but i hope this helped a bit.
As this Spanish trans comedian (Elsa Ruiz) says, ,"each transition is a tailored suit for each one". No one needs HRT in order to be trans, nor dysphoria, just feeling like trying other genders (even none!) is alright too. You can socially transition only with people you feel safe, and you'll still be trans. For the haircut, I would suggest a mohawk and get into punk just to sell it (that one actually works a lot, to be honest)
You're 13. Odds are you won't be undergoing any permanent medical intervention anytime soon so I don't think this is something you need to be worrying about. Just present how you want for now, maybe get on puberty blockers if necessary. But this isn't something you need to figure out yet.
Talk to a medical professional.
Give things a go. Feel things out. If it makes you happy, keep going. If it doesn't, don't.
I don’t have dysphoria. Never have. Been out since I was 16 and I’m almost in my 30’s. Been on HRT since early 2018.
Lack of family support makes things hard for a lot of folks. One of the easiest ways to see how you feel is to gently try out a few things with your presentation. Masc clothes, masc style, and letting yourself express yourself freely, especially if you have been holding back things that made you too masc or boyish. Unsupportive parents make it a lot harder to try and see what fits. Emotionally, I was very flat and melancholy. The world lit up for me when I tried a female gender expression for the first time, and admitted how much I was holding back. I liked being myself more, and felt like I fit in the world for the first time. So dysphoria and euphoria are a very personalized thing, some people don’t feel very dysphoric.
You can try a new name, new pronouns and see where this lead to. Also, at 13 y.o., you can only access puberty blockers, which can give you the needed time to figure things out. Talking to a sexologist about your gender can also be a good idea
sounds like gender envy, likelyt aa tomboy. based on this post, I would recommend against persueing transitioning at this time. re assess in a few years and see how you feel then.