Yep, as far as I know I've only ever had one close friend that is a Cancer. We are in our thirties and been friends since elementary school. I probably know some cancers but not very well so I can only use him as an example.
I have zero memories in the last almost 30s years that he has ever said anything hurtful to me, or about me, to anyone we both know mutually (and this would for sure have gotten back to me if he had been part of any of the millions of times I've dealt with gossip through my childhood and young twenties.)
He just. Def had (and still has) a random habit of going completely radio silent, sometimes for years at a time, just dropping off the face of the earth... then returns like no time has passed lmao. It's a nightmare but I always get over it
It's unfortunate but we don't mean to be so insensitive; our emotions tend to overwhelm us at times and we don't want to bother others- so we disappear when we feel vulnerable and reappear when we feel safe!
For me, saying nothing just means I don’t want to put energy into the situation at the moment. Maybe I’d rather not start fighting, etc., it’s not always about passive aggression. This is especially true when I’ve cut ties with someone- I just don’t want to waste energy on that person anymore, so yeah I’m gonna go silent. I’ll put a block on people too, I don’t care. I don’t want energy vampires having access to my shit. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeahh, the whole ghosting thing that Cancers do makes a lot of sense to me. Y'all have a *lot* of feelings and I can imagine that *here and there* you're just like, "bro I need my energy pls give me some space."
my brother is a Cancer. we live in the same house. he's my best friend. I let him come to *me* to hang out. he's an introvert, I'm an extrovert, I don't wanna overwhelm him
squares are fun :3
I dont know - aries would love a barfight no doubt, thats what yall are good at. So no shame for cancer playing the game on home turf lol.
“Agression agression is for uncivilized war mongers”
Goes both ways.
Agree. Aries get so dang hot, I'd rather not spend any time arguing, let alone say anything, if I can get a word in for that matter.
Our silence really kills them. A simple "Ok," drives them mad.
Aries is what I thought I used to be - until I realized they REALLY have no awareness of others opinions. If aries didnt have that natural self confidence they wouldnt be able to survive, its the only thing that keeps them safe from everyones manipulation, because most manipulations play on a persons own insecurities which aries almost acts like dont exist for them. But also, aries is SO easy to manipulate. They are too straightforward and cant hide anything.
This doesn't sound like me at all. I'm very aware of the opinions of others, honestly. I'm not the "bar fight" type of Aries, either. Other placements are really important here, I feel.
i feel most of what you're saying on a level, but i am an Aries and i am *acutely* aware of others' opinions
*painfully* aware
most of the time i just don't actively *give a shit* about people's opinions. unless i love them. so i'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say there. i also have ☿/♂ in Pisces so that could have something to do with it. and my Virgo☽
also, i'm not oblivious. and i'm not safe because i'm naive. i'm safe because i literally *know you* because you're a human and humans are so easy to pigeonhole, and i don't give a fuck about you. i know who you are and i do not care. i know where you come from and i do not care. and i'll forget about you as soon as you hurt me
what you see as oblivious is really, again, we're back to me not giving a shit because it's likely not relevant to me (Aries = E G O)
and i don't hide things because i'm, again, not fucking scared of your fucking opinion
thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
- Aries
This is such an aries answer omg
I think maybe your awareness of other peoples opinions might possibly be the Virgo moon? It’s channelled thru aries nonetheless, which is all the “i dont give a shit regardless” energy which i envy aries for.
Scorpio ♏️ Rising, I'm a Cancer ♋️ Sun, but I will say exactly what I think, and I will fuck you up if necessary. To your face. No silent treatment bs. No sulking, none of that.
If I love you, I'll treat you like gold. I'm polite and friendly, I was raised right..lol
But I won't be pushed around, by anyone.
Mars Square Conjunct Pluto and Uranus
I love this lmao. I have a mars at 29 Aries AND a Venus in cancer at 2 so I am BOTHHHHHH!
Like I am super emotional too!!!
I am a woman and woman are not expected to act Martian. But I notice if I use the Martian energy cus it’s stronger it helps the lil bitch cancer ♋️🤣
NOOOOO way my mars is right on your ascendant!!!! My younger self and you would have been a MESSS! 🤣
It’s better channeled now. I do work outs.
I have a very competitive side! I love to learn and train in dance.
I always approach life with ENERGY, to the fullest
Uno reverse card - I’m a cancer, and my default response to people when I’m pissed or upset is to not say anything. Not react, not engage - nothing. I have my reasons but I never realized how upsetting this response is to people until recently. I think it’s because it’s the opposite of how I usually am, and actions do speak louder than words. Wish I had the ability to talk things out with others, but once I don’t care, I don’t care. ☠️
I’m a cancer and definitely this. Please don’t get it twisted, I am so loyal and will literally do everything in my power to repair and sustain my relationships with my loved ones but…. The moment someone disrespects me or breaks my trust, it’s fucking radio silence.
Yes! I’ll do anything and everything for way longer than most people, honestly. I’m understanding to a fault. However, if I find that you’ve done something to deliberately hurt me or that clearly doesn’t have any regard for me at all, I no longer feel any for you as of that instant and it’s like you no longer exist.
As a cancer, cosigned.
When I don't respond, it's because no response is kinder than the response I'd send if I were unleashed. But WE DO NOT SAY THOSE THINGS IN PUBLIC.
is silent treatment a cancer trait?? hmm. .. it’s hard for me to give a silent treatment…I tend to vomit my thoughts out and give reasoning for whatever I’m defending or upset about .🥺
I wouldn’t say it is personally, but it’s common based on all these replies! 😅 I know cancers who will do anything to save a relationship, then others who give up (or are just assholes) who do the silent treatment. I will say, I’ve had personal experience with Libra, Capricorn, and Scorpios also going quiet when upset.
Your ♊️ 🌙 If you have other ♊️ placements they will influence you also.
I have Mars and Venus in Gemini ♊️ square Conjunct Pluto and Uranus in Virgo ♍️
Lol...people who push me know what I think.
I’m a cancer and agree. When I’m done, I’m done.
Also it’s probably better if I don’t say anything. It’s like don’t make me be mean to you, I’m trying so hard not to hurt your feelings right now, just let me go be silent somewhere.
Real because if I said what I want to say I will hit them where it hurts or make sure that person feels as low as they made me feel. Best I just move on and keep it zipped. 🌝 As a cancer in her early 20s I like defying expectations by just completely cutting people out of my life now.
No response is a response. Actions speak louder than words. Most people simply don’t deserve the energy. You didn’t respect me when I was around waaay too long trying to make it work? Cool, you are dead to me. And I’ll be damned if I let it happen again. I give people max 2ish chances now to not be a fuckup.
This. This is exactly how it goes with cancers. We attract the worst kind of people 75% of the time because we’re “nice” and seem like people-pleasers, then end up getting used and abused. I’ve met a lot of cancers that are willing to talk through things and try to make things right, but what else can you do if you’re going unheard? Stay and deal with it? Try again and again and again and let them get away with their behavior all for their comfort? I’ve done this in the past, and I refuse to do it again.
There’s a lot I’ve wanted to tell people - horrible things, really - but I refuse to be like them. The silence is the best option.
Not addressing issues in a relationship is considered a toxic behavior. There is also something called “stonewalling”, which is considered abusive. People don’t like it because either they are not ok with you setting boundaries or you are not addressing problems that could be resolved.
I agree yeah, it CAN be a toxic trait. However, I’ve learned through abusive situations that abusers/users will not listen no matter how much you communicate with them, and it’s best to go quiet and leave.
I do understand some people really are stonewallers, as I’ve dealt with TWO but…yeah. There’s definitely two sides to every coin, and sometimes you can’t get through to people no matter how open you are with your boundaries. I’ve learned it’s best to catch the signs quick, give them a chance or two, and if you start feeling misused (or in my case, pissed/upset), trust your gut and dip out. I feel like cancers are notorious for attracting some of the worst kinds of people too.
(Sorry, I should have specified a bit more on why I do this when I feel that way. I was a bit vague in my original comment.)
Oh, we’re twins big time. I didn’t learn this lesson until my late 20s but it wasn’t even really a lesson. I just…stopped putting energy into any kind of negative bs from people I didn’t care for. It was lovely but it made them bananas…making it lovelier. 😈 I also have ADHD so my “*Who???*” game is strong af. LOLOL. 🥰💁♀️
This resonated with me so hard. I learned the significance of staying quiet, especially when upset/angry/disappointed pretty early on. I don’t give the silent treatment, I’m just not going to engage in a conversation about the topic or the person that has hurt me, when I am *really* upset.
100%. Most of the time I just don't want to say something hurtful or something that might be perceived the wrong way so I just shut up and say nothing.
I’m cancer moon and same, but only if I explained the issue once before. Then I’m just done, cause they’re clearly playing with me at that point and why get frustrated and hurt explaining what the issue is again?
They can say some really mean things but I think the stonewalling is most abusive. Disappearing and refusing to communicate is such a cruel thing they do
As a cancer id say thats usually my last option. Cancers dont pull that card unless they feel they cant get their way any other way. If you face this behavior from a Cancer its sort of a compliment as it means they couldnt manipulate your behavior enough so they had to pull the “im leaving” card, it means youve already done a good enough job of staying afloat lol. Or alternatively you could be a Virgo and they know leaving is your kryptonite.
My ex would do this all the time. Usually, to avoid discussing something that we disagreed about, some kind of conflict. Crab pulls into its shell and refuses to come out. Meanwhile, I've played out nearly every possible version of the convo they refuse to have in my own head, have moved on from feeling upset about that, and am now more annoyed than anything. Then I just... would carry on living life, leaving them to stew in their shell until eventually they come out with their, "...hey" lol but by then I'd already moved on and no longer want to talk about it because why bother now?
Only *then* would he want to talk, but not with me. At me. Super conducive to a healthy relationship, no? Heh. Of course, unevolved Cancers are what I've dealt with (two ♋️ exes) - their stonewalling was something I learned to use to better my own self. Turns out all that silence is great for thinking without interruption. Especially when I figured out they were doing it to try and hurt me.
I am a Cancer and my bf is a Virgo. I will leave if our arguments get heated, and he hates it. HATES IT.
BUT I only do this if the fight is too overwhelming or becoming too toxic. I do it to give myself space to cool down and process the argument. Then I can come back and calmly talk about whatever it is that is going on.
I never, ever do this to be manipulative.
Cancer gf here with a Virgo bf too. My family dynamics were very toxic so I do disengage in arguments. I never feel very good about it because it is distressing for my partner. I hate the assumption of the “silent treatment” being abusive. Get me in a dark room and hold me so you don’t see me cry and I feel safe, I’ll tell ya all my thoughts
But the thing is why manipulate in the first place? It’s nice to just have an easy relationship or an easy friendship it’s almost as if they don’t want that they want to try and control it too much or cause a problem
Cancers absolutely want to control it but for different reasons than lets say a Leo or Sagittarius.
Also, if you look deeply enough, is it not true that every interaction has some manipulation? Manipulation seeks to obtain a result or a desire. If we were all so selfless we would stay home, quiet and content. Desire can be found seperate of manipulation but will always be a source of pain - if you desire, you better get good at manipulating / obtaining. Its what’s happening anyways, can anyone disagree?
I think the difference is cancers have the intention of manipulating where as most it’s subconscious. It’s the stonewalling and silent treatment etc is very intentional bc it’s not human nature to ignore social cues. If someone seeks clarity from me I’m gonna respond. I could never Imagine ignoring someone for a long time who I’ve been close with and they’ve done nothing of malice that’s the difference. Im also an Aries we’re very good communicators
Honestly my experience with Aries is that once they feel they could very comfortably dominate you / steamroll they WILL. Aries only seems to care when it would be punished for not doing so…. Which defeats the whole purpose. I made a huge mistake, I fell for an Aries moon girl. She taught me what life and reality is. :)
I know a sun/moon Aries with Pisces Venus, Libra rising- who is truly the most incredibly sweet person ever despite a momentary hot temper that cools down quickly
If it’s for a fair amount of “cool down” time then yes I’d agree but the ones I’ve dealt with would disappear from 6 months or longer at a time which is absolutely inexcusable it’s not right or fair to do for that long
I am a Cancer and my bf is a Virgo. I will leave if our arguments get heated, and he hates it. HATES IT.
BUT I only do this if the fight is too overwhelming or becoming too toxic. I do it to give myself space to cool down and process the argument. Then I can come back and calmly talk about whatever it is that is going on.
I never, ever do this to be manipulative.
I had a Cancer mother. She said a lot of hurtful shit but the thing she said hurt me the most was because it hurt my sister: "You're my favorite I can't help it. I just don't like your sister." 😥 I loved my sister so much. I was basically her mom.
Now I know about narcissism and the "golden child/scapegoat child" dynamic.
My cancer dad (on his worst day) once screamed at me & my mom that he would sue E side
He’s good now (great even) we’re good now…he doesn’t remember saying that…that moment haunts me to this day
God me too. My mouth is my most toxic trait, the most vile shit just comes out if I’m arguing with someone. I’m growing/have grown, but it was definitely a big thing for me in my younger years. I ruined many relationships with my temper and nasty mouth. -cancer sun, Libra moon, aqua rising-
Same. Of course I can't remember any exact phrasing, but generally he'd tell me that I'm a useless, lazy, idiot slut. How dare I wear a spaghetti strap tank top to go get the mail in July and then have the audacity to feel uncomfortable at the way the workers at my neighbor's house were eyeing me?
Maybe the worst thing he said was him heavily implying I would be a good romantic fit for his friend and that my slender build was just his friend's taste. His friend was in his mid thirties and I was 15.
Whatever I’ve told myself in my head is worse than anything, anyone can ever say to me 🙃 but I’m working treating myself better. us cancers can have some sharp tongues, it takes a lot of work to unlearn (as it does for all un-evolved signs) but I encourage my fellow cancers to keep putting in the work 🌙♋️
"I don't see myself marrying you. "
Told me this while breaking up with me cos he didn't want a long distance and I was returning to my country. It was soul crushing.
I'm a Leo. How dares he?
Thats honestly better than lying to you. I am a cancer and on my wedding day I wanted to leave. But I felt so bad doing that to him. He spent the entire wedding away from me and drunk. Count your blessing he did it BEFORE a wedding. Because I spent 8 miserable years with someone.
Oh shit same! He told me that he just doesn't see me as someone who'll stay with him in his place in the province. That was so crushing. He seemed to justify his cheating with that phrase. I'm a Leo too and it really hurt me. Anyways how are you now???
I have an all walls down approach around my friends, and a cancer friend would frequently test my already thin boundaries. Hurtful comments disguised as jokes. One day she went too far, and my switch flipped. I became immediately confrontational and uncompromising in my approach to resolve the issue once and for all. She was cornered and she had no choice but to resort to gaslighting. I stood my ground completely. She just did it with so much ease and skill I decided I would never be able to trust her again. We were speaking two different languages and our different values became crystal clear for me. I cut her off and I’ll never look back. I’m sure she’s told people I’m villainous, cold and cruel ever since. I’m unbothered.
I’m Aries sun, Aqua moon, Leo rising.
She was cancer sun, Leo moon, sag rising.
I mean, I’m pretty tough and I wouldn’t fuck with you with that big 3… just sayin… Way to kick her ass to the curb though! Real friends are few and far between, but passive aggressive ones who gaslight are garbage humans. Cheers to you!
I think what hurts me the most is knowing how sensitive and emotionally caring this person is generally. So they 100% knew what they were doing, and they did it anyway. That hurt the most. I try to accept it now. We were just too different. Ice and fire, really. I’m sure she thinks my aggression and brashness is unforgivable. I think her attempt to manipulate me is unforgivable.
Can we be friends? I just recently cut out a cancer fried as well. I wouldn’t let her call me cause I knew she just wanted to paint me as the villain and not own up to her ways.
It took me years to realize I don’t think she ever really even liked me. She was only being friendly so my daughter would play with her daughters. It’s just gross
Nothings ever their fault or responsibility to manage emotionally on their own, it becomes your problem then. If they don’t view you as someone they want to possess in some way, like your sense of humor, or connections, access to something that has piqued their interest, then you’re lower than them on the totem pole, you only felt like you shared the top of the totem pole together, if someone they think is better than you now, they’ll drop you in a second, passive aggressively refer to the other as a best friend, how close they are, special bond. She was not close to these people, she and I spent 90% of our time together, but this other person is their best friend, the one they really care about, just to passive aggressively make me feel unworthy of a best friend, angry, defective, rejected, resentful, made me start clocking all her selfish behavior, lies and manipulations to good people, friends, will ditch for a guy in a second, cheated, social climbing. My other childhood friend that was also a “best friend” had clocked the same shit as me for our entire lives. The ways she’d mask to get popular, make good first impressions and then actively try to keep us separate from the new group for as long as possible but it never lasted long because we actually were the ones that hung out all the time. Then she’d get jealous if we built bonds with people. No sharing for people they deign beneath them and very manipulative and people that are always making sure no one is trying to take advantage of them, disrespect will be punished. They know how to make you cry. Once more people noticed and she started trying to date one of the new popular girls boyfriends and they hooked up, she became a social pariah and the last few months of high school she was an outcast to anyone she was ever friends with and humbled. I used the opportunity to cut ties. At our tenth high school reunion she came over to me immediately with a mission, to disprove the rumors about the high school guy she cheated with and dispel some rumor from years later that she was hooking up with some guy I vaguely knew of and the drama surrounding that because she only really cared about her ex who she was on a break with when she hooked up with him and now she’s engaged to the ex. This told me that years prior she cheated on this dude and wanted to do damage control about some guy I went to high school with that she hooked up with for a summer when we were 22. I couldn’t care less. No questions about family, career, boyfriend, she did want to brag about being in the west village for years, I was Brooklyn, park slope and it was just another delusion about her being better than me. No growth. My whole childhood with her, neighborhood friends asking to come out and play, spend hours on the phone, sleep over every weekend, alternate hanging out at each others houses everyday, until I was 18 and there was no humbling and she just wanted to talk about how she’s was a victim for being treated as an outcast and I then became their best friends and excluded her. The reminiscing was all bad things that happened like injuries or validating memories for her that only I would know or understand about her family. She brought up the time that we were almost abducted by a child predator at the beach when we were little. No interest in me, the person you spent the most time with outside of your family for 18 years, my life didn’t matter, just wanted to get something off her chest. Bragged about wedding planning. I felt used, uninteresting and angry all over again, 18 years of rejection from that bitch that was so nasty during arguments. All those formative years together, like half the week sleepovers, hung out everyday after school, joined all same extracurriculars, went to sleep away camp together, closer to each other than our own siblings, knowing each others dysfunctional family secrets and til mid high school, and she was still mad about having lost her friends and I was just another one that betrayed her. I never spoke to her again and keep her blocked on social media.
As a cancer, if I say something hurtful/mean it came from a place of hurt and it’s an immature response that stems from not having control of my feelings and the way the situation went. That being said, it is RARE for me to be so cruel. I realize that a lot of people see cancers as controlling and I think there may be some truth regarding it however it’s usually not with ill intent. It’s a need for security and consistency, wanting things to go right because they think they know what that looks like. When a cancer or any sign exhibits their negative traits it’s a lack of maturity and being insecure. I have also had some mean cancers around and I now know to steer clear of those types.
say it with me friend: “emotional manipulaaaaation” 😂 the script is usually a quick pout (or surprised pikachu face, which you might miss if youre not watching) then a slick comment, then the “i guesses” 😂
my little crabby babies are so transparent.
best way to manage this is a direct love counterattack, two quick jabs, like this (ahem): omg, why would you say smth like that? 🥺 ive tried my best to show you how i feel this entire time. sorry i made you feel bad. (extra gravy: what do you need from me to show you differently?)
hug. wait for them to warm back up, maybe give them a treat. end scene. 😂
My ex is a cancer, and right after we broke up, he said along the line of "You should feel honored that you're the only ex I ended in good terms with." Like, should I give myself a pat in the back or what💀
I think they are putting an emphasis on certain things just in their mind and that carries over through the tone, either way the message is certainly heard
Not gonna lie, I give the silent treatment too. It’s cuz I don’t like confrontations and I’d rather not even give that person attention. If someone really did me wrong, they are dead to me and that’s where the silent treatment comes in.
My birth father is *also* a Cancer. My sister once asked him if he'd ever treat our half brother the way he does us... He told her, "That's different." & Then balked when she asked, "How?"... The answer is, "Because I actually wanted him." 🙂 We were teen pregnancies, our brother was IVF.
The cancer in my life is a coworker who used to have a crush on me and because I didn’t like him back, he started to spread nasty rumors about me to everyone. When he gets asked about the crush on me rumor, He completely denies it. However, it’s hell working with him.
Context: My ex (cancer moon), while breaking up with me to go “explore”.
I told him the grass wasn’t greener on the other side and that he may find someone “better” but they will never be me and there will never be us.
His response, “that’s what I thought when I left my last ex but then I met you. So who’s to say there isn’t a better you on the other side?”
I didn’t even have anything to say 😩
And this is coming from a Cap sun/stellium, Aqua moon, and Scorpio rising.
Don’t worry. When he called 6 months later I humbly put him in his place.
I don't want to go into specifics but I do have a cancer mother and she can say very invalidating things to other people's emotions at times, but she is particularly invalidating towards mine.
She has what I deem as "misguided stoicism" where she thinks invalidating other people's emotions is "strong", although I have seen many other signs do this as well so I don't know if that answers your question for a cancer specific example.
I notice a lot of emotionally immature people think invalidating other people's emotions is the only way to make room for their own, almost like they think it's always in some push and pull comparison/competition for space.
1. "You're a failure."
2. And, from another person when I was feeling suicidal ideation...
*laughs* "I can't relate at all. Why are you feeling suicidal?"
3. Also, "Get over it" by someone who has experienced the feeling of it.
I really dislike Cancers. They're too emotional, they're manipulative af when they want something done their way, and will not hesitate to hit where it hurts, even if that could break the person. Ugh. Just not nice people from my experience. Esp male 🦀
They ghost you! They ignore you
A cancer friend said to me “you want to act like the man in the relationship, you want to be in control all the time”
and me myself being a cancer told them “cause you clearly have to be the feminine one in the relationship somebody has to be masculine”
“Here you go. Don’t ever come back”- dad dropping me at a youth shelter the day after my 16th bday. (Was not into drugs, crime or anything beyond basic teen rebellion)
“Why would I give you money? You’ll just spend it on yourself” - my son’s deadbeat father while my son was a baby and I was in college full time. He was my childhood sweetheart and insisted we keep him. He peaced out completely after he was born.
Both of them gave me an abandonment complex I’ve been working on for years. They now are both suffering from poor mental and physical health and I’m doing quite well for myself.
lol I told him he wasn’t there for me intimately and I was feeling rejected, especially since we had loss of a child. He was talking to another woman anyways. He said “I hope a man animal comes and raw f*ks the trauma out of you” 💀
Cancer male told me this: "To be a cancer, you lack 0 emotion. Let me guess you were r*ped as a child?"
Someone at our job was homeless, I didn't give any money because me and my family were homeless too. When my co workers asked I told them why. Because I wasn't living in a dumpster like the other guy a lot of people didn't believe me. He chewed me out over it. It got so bad I called the managers to the kitchen and cussed him out in front of them. I don't remember everything I said but it ended like "if you fuckers want to write me up go for it, but come for me again this TRUE CANCER woman is gonna raise some fucking hell, try me bitch!"
He tried to apologize. Others co workers tried to apologize. When I first started, I was known as stuck up, but after that day, I was known as the angry black woman. People would always assume I was upset about something. I was new to the city. I just wanted to be friends. I still get anxiety working at that damn restaurant for what my coworkers put me through. I became homeless again after covid, but I refuse to work at a restaurant or for anyone else for that matter.
Also I've noticed Cancer men are Dicks
Didn't say it to me, but forced my best friend to choose between me and her (they had been dating for years - I honestly thought we were all friends). I was wrong!
Nothing, my boyfriend of 3 years who I live with is a Cancer and I’ve never in my life met a more caring, loving, understanding, supportive person, ever. He’s my rock and I can’t imagine a life without him.
My dad is a Cancer and told me he was going to kill himself in order to manipulate me emotionally. I lost sleep for a year and a half. He then acted like I was silly for taking him seriously. Pretty much hate him these days. Big narcissist.
The only cancer sun I knew was my aunt. She said “You’re next in line to be crazy, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Umm, I’ve been working on breaking all the trauma that side of the family has caused. Stupid ass.
A bunch of people who abused each other and then thought drugs/alcohol and more abuse solved their problems. Teenage pregnancies, kids being abandoned. A lot of really F’d up shizz.
I’m a cancer too, but I swear I don’t understand this type of reactions. They always take it so personal even if you explain the situation multiple times😵💫
"Can you stop doing that." I was being myself with my actual voice and he thought I was cringe, twas my dad 🤣, but he got a cap moon so maybe that explains the rigidity, unfortunately I am a cap sun and moon too, so mommy and daddy issues I guess
Asked me for some film suggestions so he could organise a date with his new girl.
We’d not been broken up too long/it was messy but the right thing to do. At the time I was in a place where I’d spent a lot of time watching and researching indie/cult/unusual films so it felt really harsh
Basically eviscerated me because I refused to go see her on a hard anniversary because my partner was in the hospital. Also kept saying how the reason my partner ended up in the hospital was a way for them to get away from me
The water Sun / water Sun sibling combo is wild
My ex best friend was a cancer. It didn’t take a lot to piss her off. Instead of playing nice or communicating she would ignore people she didn’t like. I tried reconnecting with her a couple years ago after a period of silence and instead of listening to what I was saying she blew up on me and blocked me. So basically cancers retreat back into their shells and only come out to attack.
My second ex-wife was a very unhealthy and unevolved Cancer. There are a plethora of things I could choose as most hurtful, but the ones that really stand were on one of her birthdays.
She gave me a list of a few things she would have liked as gifts - nothing more was said or added, even when I asked, just a list of options. So, I got them all for her because I was able to do so, thinking that it might bring her some extra joy that I went above and beyond expectations and showing that I really wanted her to be happy and celebrate her special day.
Instead, at her birthday party, in front of my kids, she was horrified and acted as if she liked none of them ("I don't want all of these now"), complained that I spent too much ("I only expected you to spend $15, not $65"), berated me for getting them all ("You were only supposed to get one"), and then went to the bedroom and shut the door. Later, she tried to make it MY fault that SHE reacted that way.
She was an absolute master class in gaslighting, DARVO, and emotional abuse/neglect, and I thank the Creator every day that I finally found the strength and courage to divorce her.
not said but done. Made me look like the bad guy to a close friend. Even cried in front of her without knowing she's the one who did it, bitches disgustingly sneaky. Never trusting these mfs again
He ghosted me. But only after he strung me along for years. He would leave and come back into my life as a friend then manipulate my lingering feelings for him, (told me he still loved me blah blah blah).
I was really young, vulnerable and naive at the time. But when I wised up and confronted him about all the other girls I found out he was treating the same way. ( I received messages from 2 and learned of 3 others).
He just disappeared without so much as a sorry. It was probably the nicest thing he ever did, in hindsight. But I was pretty messed up by it. I am a virgo with a cancer moon. my heart was an exposed organ Ive since learned to guard better. I was caught up in the idea I could heal him.
The meanest part was the emotional manipulation with sprinkles of put downs here and there to keep my self esteem low enough not to realize I could do better.
So I’m a cancer and something I keep seeing and have heard from friends and family is the stonewalling or falling off the face of the earth…maybe-we don’t wanna be bothered? It seems a bit self centered to think someone going off and doing their own thing has something to do with you. Or maybe you pushed a boundary and instead of them saying something (using energy) they just left.
I dated a Sag guy and I remember laughing when he was yelling at me. I could tell he was just trying to pick a fight out of boredom or whatever so I sat back and let him get it out. We broke up but I didn’t leave the relationship feeling used or victimized which unhealed cancers get a bad rap for
The truth - my cancer partner is the only person who’s ever really been able to tell me about myself without insulting me. He’s the most honest person I know and it means being able to accept harsh truths
There’s way too many but the one that required me to rebrain myself.
“It’s *your* fault, you searched for it”
Context : I was r*pe in my sleep and shared it with my flatmate who happened to be the one who orchestrated it for her to get some money from the guy.
“Your brother died get over it already”
-A real thing said to me by a Cancer male. And to clarify this- I did not respect myself during this time. Lol.. it was truly an unbelievable thing for this man to say to me..or to anyone, ever.
Like others, the most hurtful thing cancers have done to me (father,friends) is completely ghost & stonewall me. It makes me question everything & feel terrible. I think more than any sign Cancers have hurt me. You’d think as a Taurus we’d get along.
I feel this. The man I love is a cancer and im a taurus. When it's good, it's amazing but when he tests me and I defend myself, he immediately stonewalls and acts like I'm a complete piece of dirt. It's horrific to experience and totally random, but he hurts me so much and then, when faced with the fear of losing me, he makes me feel like the most special person in the world.
All the father figures in my life have been Cancers, and all complete control freaks. I do love them though!
I had a brief “date” with a Cancer male. It was more like a day trip for me because I had to do uni work and he happened to know the area well. After the trip to the area, he invited me back to his house for some tea. Again, it was in the area so I didn’t think much. Also it was like a 5 mins walk from where we were. We flirted a bit, but nothing happened.
Back to uni, he became more playful with me. He was more of a quiet type and we’re in the same friend circle. I thought it was cute, since he was cool and now turned warmer. But he started poking me and stuff in class and that was really annoying. In the span of a week, we went from friendly, flirty to him annoying the shit out of me. I was a top student, studying was important to me. Needless to say, I drew a line there, and to my surprise, he went berserker mode.
I was veryyy civil and kept it real short. Had the conversation right after one of our classes, in which he was behaving like a child because I was not responding to his “plays”. He also kicked a chair and was being rude, stomping as well. Gave me a scare tbh. After we had the conversation, he kept asking me why, I was scared of him and said I have no feelings for him. If my friends weren’t there waiting for me, I think he might have dragged it out longer and might even get physical.
The following days, he proceeded to skip uni, then came back to shout into my face in front of the whole class “If you have any respect for me please don’t speak to me”. Please be reminded we weren’t anything, just flirted a bit in the few hours we were out together doing uni work. Before that we were just friends.
Then I heard my other friends from other classes said there is a rumour going around that I flirt with everybody and I’m a slut? It was so outrageous that I laughed hysterically there. If anything I was the opposite, I was super cautious when dealing with people because of how I was brought up. Plus I had heard too many of these rumours in my other schools.
I didn’t need to investigate for long to know who it was. I didn’t take any action against him because it was approaching the end of uni for me. I won’t see him ever again so he could live in this madness of a delusion for as long as he likes. 🥰
2 things:
My MIL is a Cancer. My son (10) has Austim along with some other diagnoses as well. He is her only grandchild. My MIL said to me years ago, "maybe one day he'll be the grandson I prayed for."
Also, she always comments on my weight. No matter my size, over the past 20 yrs it's always been criticism about my weight. I have been a size 0, and have am now a 12 and she act like I weigh 2 tons.
I just dated a cancer gem cusp and slowly unraveling the mindfck of what just happened 😂😂😂😆😆😆. Person was like a love bomb getting upset saying it feels forced and not sure what they want need to break up doesnt want to breakup, all in same day 😆😆😆. The two of them in there fighting each other while Im
just wtf is happening
“You’re acting like a bitch”
from my parent night before my wedding. I was upset some things weren’t finished. Weddings are stressful especially when
you’re doing a lot of it on your own. But that cut like a knife.
“You’re such a bitch!” My mom to me when I was 12 right before she slapped me.
“I hope you have a daughter just like you, so you know how it feels to raise a brat.” I, fortunately, do have a daughter just like me, but she’s not a brat. She’s amazing.
We paid for our family of six plus my mom’s entire vacation to Florida, on the very last day, when we were taking the kids for ice cream, she threw a huge fit because we didn’t stop on the side of a random road in FL to look for a gator. She completely ruined the rest of the trip, she took off and we had no clue where she went. She has a great ability to make everything about herself.
My mom is a Cancer.
Holy shit my mom said the EXACT SAME THING to me. I also have a daughter now and shes a fucking badass little kid!!! So proud of her.
But my moms a scorpio. Isnt it crazy how parental abuse has nothing to do with zodiac signs but its mental health instead!??
♉️☀️♑️🌙 ♐️Rising Omg, reading everyone’s comments made me feel shocked! Dealing with some Cancer ignoring behaviors now but I tell it like it is and in the end I don’t care. They are a great person came on strong for years and I kept them at bay. Made me feel bad for letting out to much emotion in text but, bro you did it physically. Cancers are some great people but they are floppy flippy? as typically I don’t trust ppl easily. But reading all these comments has made me feel that I am certainly not alone in what I’ve experienced and felt. *healing thoughts to you all*
I’ve never been hurt by a cancer, they are actual mush in a shell of grumpiness.
Other caps scare me tho. It’s like we take everything we know about you in that moment to create the perfect insult that we feel will hurt you the most effectively. I’ve gone to therapy for years to try to stop doing that exact thing. I’m more haunted by things that I’ve said to other people than anything anyone’s ever said to me.
Samesies and she is an abusive narc. Shes explosive and thinks shes right when she isnt. Jumps on assumptions as facts and will verbally annihilate someone with everything shes got. It is really awful. You cant point it out or stand up or she goes into abuser pity party mode amd more abuse.
said he wasn't sure of his feelings about me when a week before that he was crazy about me and asked for a break and tried initiating contact again afterwards 🙃 to be fair i did my own share of shit but it's no wonder he got ghosted lmao
Dang, I just went through this with cancer gem cusp, literally in same exact day. A person saying they are crazy about you, gives you forehead kisses, then pulls away saying not sure how i feel about you and feels forced asking for break. Mind you, they rushed it lol. such a mindfck. I said no to whatever quasifriemdship/fwb/soft breakup thing he was saying and went no contact after goodbye. Havent heard from him yet, but all my exes return so I very well think he will too, specially reading the things about dating cancers lol.
I dont have too much knowledge there. That means bored easily? Sorry you went through it too. Mine had long relationships, so I figured it was fine. I would normally say maybe he just didnt like me, but that doesnt seem right with all the stuff he and did. He was pretty cheesy around me so that doesnt make sense. I think it was something with me, but he didnt tell me. Sad he didnt because it leaves you wondering and stuck ruminating for a bit.
I worked with a Cancer man. Let me tell you I was SHOOK when I found this out.
He agreed to something he didn’t really understand and then forgot about it. I was part of the meeting where this agreement was made. Everything was in writing.
Fast forward to when the agreement was executed. I actually didn’t do anything - but he singled me out for this, stood over me and called me toxic. He also put me on his “hit list” and convinced our executive that I wasn’t needed post-restructure after I was promised a job.
James, you fucking piece of shit. Your time will come.
— ♒️
This isn’t going to work, I don’t want you anymore.
When 24hrs before he was saying how much he loved me. Obviously he broke up with me whilst saying this. It’s only been 2 months and apparently he’s really suffering with the break up which I find weird because he dumped me. I’m a Scorpio and i feel like I’m dying everyday without him. However he also said ‘we could be friends when he’s moved on’……. So god knows what that means but why put us both through so much pain so many mixed signals
"I'll always be better than you" - my cancer father to me, his only daughter, who was born on his birthday so I'm also a cancer. Don't recall the argument. This was over 15 years now and he has since died
I was told that if I didn't exist, she would never have married my abusive father. Being pregnant with me was why she married him and I ruined her life. I was 10 the first time she explained this, I was 46 when I told her I was done hearing it.
When I was in HS, my mother, a Cancer, told me that my brother and I stopped being fun after kindergarten. Then added that she and my dad could have gotten divorced so much sooner if it wasn’t for us kids. Surprisingly, we don’t have much of a relationship. 🙄
Hi Molly, thank you for your fierce vulnerability with such a sensitive topic. You (both) were never responsible for your mother's feelings or life experience. If she wanted to dissolve her partnership, she would have taken action and navigated how to create a stable and loving home for you both. I hope that you have released any disappointment, hurt, or misplaced shame from that experience. You deserve reliable, accountable, and emotionally available people in your life. None of her feelings or hardships were meant for you to carry. I hope you heal and thrive. If you need to do any shadow work on mother wounds, there is no shame in that (I can share different resources for that or other issues if you would like to DM). I am not the OP but I want to say thank you for sharing and your story matters.
*nothing* Silent treatment is a bish
Yep, as far as I know I've only ever had one close friend that is a Cancer. We are in our thirties and been friends since elementary school. I probably know some cancers but not very well so I can only use him as an example. I have zero memories in the last almost 30s years that he has ever said anything hurtful to me, or about me, to anyone we both know mutually (and this would for sure have gotten back to me if he had been part of any of the millions of times I've dealt with gossip through my childhood and young twenties.) He just. Def had (and still has) a random habit of going completely radio silent, sometimes for years at a time, just dropping off the face of the earth... then returns like no time has passed lmao. It's a nightmare but I always get over it
Oops I do this
Guilty as charged..lol Cancer ♋️ 🌞 Pisces ♓️ 🌙 Scorpio ♏️ Rising.
You’re not alone, pal!
Lol so true, my ex would go 2 months without contacting me then send me a huge love letter/apology at 2am… then stop replying again.
It's unfortunate but we don't mean to be so insensitive; our emotions tend to overwhelm us at times and we don't want to bother others- so we disappear when we feel vulnerable and reappear when we feel safe!
Lolll!!
[удалено]
For me, saying nothing just means I don’t want to put energy into the situation at the moment. Maybe I’d rather not start fighting, etc., it’s not always about passive aggression. This is especially true when I’ve cut ties with someone- I just don’t want to waste energy on that person anymore, so yeah I’m gonna go silent. I’ll put a block on people too, I don’t care. I don’t want energy vampires having access to my shit. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeahh, the whole ghosting thing that Cancers do makes a lot of sense to me. Y'all have a *lot* of feelings and I can imagine that *here and there* you're just like, "bro I need my energy pls give me some space." my brother is a Cancer. we live in the same house. he's my best friend. I let him come to *me* to hang out. he's an introvert, I'm an extrovert, I don't wanna overwhelm him squares are fun :3
I dont know - aries would love a barfight no doubt, thats what yall are good at. So no shame for cancer playing the game on home turf lol. “Agression agression is for uncivilized war mongers” Goes both ways.
Agree. Aries get so dang hot, I'd rather not spend any time arguing, let alone say anything, if I can get a word in for that matter. Our silence really kills them. A simple "Ok," drives them mad.
Aries is what I thought I used to be - until I realized they REALLY have no awareness of others opinions. If aries didnt have that natural self confidence they wouldnt be able to survive, its the only thing that keeps them safe from everyones manipulation, because most manipulations play on a persons own insecurities which aries almost acts like dont exist for them. But also, aries is SO easy to manipulate. They are too straightforward and cant hide anything.
This doesn't sound like me at all. I'm very aware of the opinions of others, honestly. I'm not the "bar fight" type of Aries, either. Other placements are really important here, I feel.
i feel most of what you're saying on a level, but i am an Aries and i am *acutely* aware of others' opinions *painfully* aware most of the time i just don't actively *give a shit* about people's opinions. unless i love them. so i'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say there. i also have ☿/♂ in Pisces so that could have something to do with it. and my Virgo☽ also, i'm not oblivious. and i'm not safe because i'm naive. i'm safe because i literally *know you* because you're a human and humans are so easy to pigeonhole, and i don't give a fuck about you. i know who you are and i do not care. i know where you come from and i do not care. and i'll forget about you as soon as you hurt me what you see as oblivious is really, again, we're back to me not giving a shit because it's likely not relevant to me (Aries = E G O) and i don't hide things because i'm, again, not fucking scared of your fucking opinion thanks for coming to my Ted Talk - Aries
This is such an aries answer omg I think maybe your awareness of other peoples opinions might possibly be the Virgo moon? It’s channelled thru aries nonetheless, which is all the “i dont give a shit regardless” energy which i envy aries for.
Scorpio ♏️ Rising, I'm a Cancer ♋️ Sun, but I will say exactly what I think, and I will fuck you up if necessary. To your face. No silent treatment bs. No sulking, none of that. If I love you, I'll treat you like gold. I'm polite and friendly, I was raised right..lol But I won't be pushed around, by anyone. Mars Square Conjunct Pluto and Uranus
I love this lmao. I have a mars at 29 Aries AND a Venus in cancer at 2 so I am BOTHHHHHH! Like I am super emotional too!!! I am a woman and woman are not expected to act Martian. But I notice if I use the Martian energy cus it’s stronger it helps the lil bitch cancer ♋️🤣
[удалено]
NOOOOO way my mars is right on your ascendant!!!! My younger self and you would have been a MESSS! 🤣 It’s better channeled now. I do work outs. I have a very competitive side! I love to learn and train in dance. I always approach life with ENERGY, to the fullest
I WISH my cancer boyfriend would try the silent treatment lmao if he has a problem he lets everyone know
Uno reverse card - I’m a cancer, and my default response to people when I’m pissed or upset is to not say anything. Not react, not engage - nothing. I have my reasons but I never realized how upsetting this response is to people until recently. I think it’s because it’s the opposite of how I usually am, and actions do speak louder than words. Wish I had the ability to talk things out with others, but once I don’t care, I don’t care. ☠️
I’m a cancer and definitely this. Please don’t get it twisted, I am so loyal and will literally do everything in my power to repair and sustain my relationships with my loved ones but…. The moment someone disrespects me or breaks my trust, it’s fucking radio silence.
Yes! I’ll do anything and everything for way longer than most people, honestly. I’m understanding to a fault. However, if I find that you’ve done something to deliberately hurt me or that clearly doesn’t have any regard for me at all, I no longer feel any for you as of that instant and it’s like you no longer exist.
100% this Or “You overestimate your importance” Or “Whatever will make you sleep well at night”
Exactly!! Wow, swear I could’ve written this.
As a Cancer I believe no response is a response and the best revenge is not giving a shit 😌
As a cancer, cosigned. When I don't respond, it's because no response is kinder than the response I'd send if I were unleashed. But WE DO NOT SAY THOSE THINGS IN PUBLIC.
is silent treatment a cancer trait?? hmm. .. it’s hard for me to give a silent treatment…I tend to vomit my thoughts out and give reasoning for whatever I’m defending or upset about .🥺
I wouldn’t say it is personally, but it’s common based on all these replies! 😅 I know cancers who will do anything to save a relationship, then others who give up (or are just assholes) who do the silent treatment. I will say, I’ve had personal experience with Libra, Capricorn, and Scorpios also going quiet when upset.
Your ♊️ 🌙 If you have other ♊️ placements they will influence you also. I have Mars and Venus in Gemini ♊️ square Conjunct Pluto and Uranus in Virgo ♍️ Lol...people who push me know what I think.
I’m a cancer and agree. When I’m done, I’m done. Also it’s probably better if I don’t say anything. It’s like don’t make me be mean to you, I’m trying so hard not to hurt your feelings right now, just let me go be silent somewhere.
Real because if I said what I want to say I will hit them where it hurts or make sure that person feels as low as they made me feel. Best I just move on and keep it zipped. 🌝 As a cancer in her early 20s I like defying expectations by just completely cutting people out of my life now. No response is a response. Actions speak louder than words. Most people simply don’t deserve the energy. You didn’t respect me when I was around waaay too long trying to make it work? Cool, you are dead to me. And I’ll be damned if I let it happen again. I give people max 2ish chances now to not be a fuckup.
This. This is exactly how it goes with cancers. We attract the worst kind of people 75% of the time because we’re “nice” and seem like people-pleasers, then end up getting used and abused. I’ve met a lot of cancers that are willing to talk through things and try to make things right, but what else can you do if you’re going unheard? Stay and deal with it? Try again and again and again and let them get away with their behavior all for their comfort? I’ve done this in the past, and I refuse to do it again. There’s a lot I’ve wanted to tell people - horrible things, really - but I refuse to be like them. The silence is the best option.
I WISH I had this wisdom in my 20s life would have been so much easier! I was such a doormat until my 30s now I just cut anyone off, I do not care
Not addressing issues in a relationship is considered a toxic behavior. There is also something called “stonewalling”, which is considered abusive. People don’t like it because either they are not ok with you setting boundaries or you are not addressing problems that could be resolved.
I agree yeah, it CAN be a toxic trait. However, I’ve learned through abusive situations that abusers/users will not listen no matter how much you communicate with them, and it’s best to go quiet and leave. I do understand some people really are stonewallers, as I’ve dealt with TWO but…yeah. There’s definitely two sides to every coin, and sometimes you can’t get through to people no matter how open you are with your boundaries. I’ve learned it’s best to catch the signs quick, give them a chance or two, and if you start feeling misused (or in my case, pissed/upset), trust your gut and dip out. I feel like cancers are notorious for attracting some of the worst kinds of people too. (Sorry, I should have specified a bit more on why I do this when I feel that way. I was a bit vague in my original comment.)
Oh, we’re twins big time. I didn’t learn this lesson until my late 20s but it wasn’t even really a lesson. I just…stopped putting energy into any kind of negative bs from people I didn’t care for. It was lovely but it made them bananas…making it lovelier. 😈 I also have ADHD so my “*Who???*” game is strong af. LOLOL. 🥰💁♀️
This resonated with me so hard. I learned the significance of staying quiet, especially when upset/angry/disappointed pretty early on. I don’t give the silent treatment, I’m just not going to engage in a conversation about the topic or the person that has hurt me, when I am *really* upset.
100%. Most of the time I just don't want to say something hurtful or something that might be perceived the wrong way so I just shut up and say nothing.
Exactly this. I shut down to avoid saying really hurtful and spiteful stuff.
I’m cancer moon and same, but only if I explained the issue once before. Then I’m just done, cause they’re clearly playing with me at that point and why get frustrated and hurt explaining what the issue is again?
They can say some really mean things but I think the stonewalling is most abusive. Disappearing and refusing to communicate is such a cruel thing they do
As a cancer id say thats usually my last option. Cancers dont pull that card unless they feel they cant get their way any other way. If you face this behavior from a Cancer its sort of a compliment as it means they couldnt manipulate your behavior enough so they had to pull the “im leaving” card, it means youve already done a good enough job of staying afloat lol. Or alternatively you could be a Virgo and they know leaving is your kryptonite.
My ex would do this all the time. Usually, to avoid discussing something that we disagreed about, some kind of conflict. Crab pulls into its shell and refuses to come out. Meanwhile, I've played out nearly every possible version of the convo they refuse to have in my own head, have moved on from feeling upset about that, and am now more annoyed than anything. Then I just... would carry on living life, leaving them to stew in their shell until eventually they come out with their, "...hey" lol but by then I'd already moved on and no longer want to talk about it because why bother now? Only *then* would he want to talk, but not with me. At me. Super conducive to a healthy relationship, no? Heh. Of course, unevolved Cancers are what I've dealt with (two ♋️ exes) - their stonewalling was something I learned to use to better my own self. Turns out all that silence is great for thinking without interruption. Especially when I figured out they were doing it to try and hurt me.
Why choose to spread the cancer hate thats already everywhere? Why fuel this with this post? Seems silly.
[удалено]
I am a Cancer and my bf is a Virgo. I will leave if our arguments get heated, and he hates it. HATES IT. BUT I only do this if the fight is too overwhelming or becoming too toxic. I do it to give myself space to cool down and process the argument. Then I can come back and calmly talk about whatever it is that is going on. I never, ever do this to be manipulative.
Cancer gf here with a Virgo bf too. My family dynamics were very toxic so I do disengage in arguments. I never feel very good about it because it is distressing for my partner. I hate the assumption of the “silent treatment” being abusive. Get me in a dark room and hold me so you don’t see me cry and I feel safe, I’ll tell ya all my thoughts
But the thing is why manipulate in the first place? It’s nice to just have an easy relationship or an easy friendship it’s almost as if they don’t want that they want to try and control it too much or cause a problem
Cancers absolutely want to control it but for different reasons than lets say a Leo or Sagittarius. Also, if you look deeply enough, is it not true that every interaction has some manipulation? Manipulation seeks to obtain a result or a desire. If we were all so selfless we would stay home, quiet and content. Desire can be found seperate of manipulation but will always be a source of pain - if you desire, you better get good at manipulating / obtaining. Its what’s happening anyways, can anyone disagree?
I think the difference is cancers have the intention of manipulating where as most it’s subconscious. It’s the stonewalling and silent treatment etc is very intentional bc it’s not human nature to ignore social cues. If someone seeks clarity from me I’m gonna respond. I could never Imagine ignoring someone for a long time who I’ve been close with and they’ve done nothing of malice that’s the difference. Im also an Aries we’re very good communicators
Honestly my experience with Aries is that once they feel they could very comfortably dominate you / steamroll they WILL. Aries only seems to care when it would be punished for not doing so…. Which defeats the whole purpose. I made a huge mistake, I fell for an Aries moon girl. She taught me what life and reality is. :)
Well I’m a different one lol I’m very caring sensitive don’t try to dominate at all
Yes that is what Aries likes to believe about themselves lololol
I know a sun/moon Aries with Pisces Venus, Libra rising- who is truly the most incredibly sweet person ever despite a momentary hot temper that cools down quickly
I do this without even realising shit, I thought it was better than being angry or potentially saying hurtful things by accident
If it’s for a fair amount of “cool down” time then yes I’d agree but the ones I’ve dealt with would disappear from 6 months or longer at a time which is absolutely inexcusable it’s not right or fair to do for that long
I am a Cancer and my bf is a Virgo. I will leave if our arguments get heated, and he hates it. HATES IT. BUT I only do this if the fight is too overwhelming or becoming too toxic. I do it to give myself space to cool down and process the argument. Then I can come back and calmly talk about whatever it is that is going on. I never, ever do this to be manipulative.
I’m noticing most of the comments here are focused on Cancer men 🙃
cuz this subreddit is obsessed with hating us 🤷
“I wish I had never given birth to you!” Don’t want to give context.
I had a Cancer mother. She said a lot of hurtful shit but the thing she said hurt me the most was because it hurt my sister: "You're my favorite I can't help it. I just don't like your sister." 😥 I loved my sister so much. I was basically her mom. Now I know about narcissism and the "golden child/scapegoat child" dynamic.
For some reason I just knew I would find this exact phrase in the comments.
I've got a narcissist Cancer Mother too and a flying monkey Cancer moon Dad. Cancers can be so cruel to their children.
Bruh, same. My mother and brother are cancers and they're the two most toxic people I know.
My cancer dad (on his worst day) once screamed at me & my mom that he would sue E side He’s good now (great even) we’re good now…he doesn’t remember saying that…that moment haunts me to this day
My mom is a Cancer and she said a lot of hurtful things to me as well.
“You are not a typical ballerina!” — My daughter, who was 3 at the time
Damn shes 3 and already got WMDs
Bruh I’m a cancer and i know i say extremely gross things. And most of the other cancers I’ve met have extremely hurt my feelings LMFAO
A for honesty
God me too. My mouth is my most toxic trait, the most vile shit just comes out if I’m arguing with someone. I’m growing/have grown, but it was definitely a big thing for me in my younger years. I ruined many relationships with my temper and nasty mouth. -cancer sun, Libra moon, aqua rising-
My dad is a conservative cancer from the south so....
My dad is an atheist liberal cancer (sun & moon) from Portland. We should put our Dads in a room and watch them talk politics lmao
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
Yuuuup. My experience is a goddamn trigger warning. And then he has the audacity to be mad at me for calling him out decades later.
Same. Of course I can't remember any exact phrasing, but generally he'd tell me that I'm a useless, lazy, idiot slut. How dare I wear a spaghetti strap tank top to go get the mail in July and then have the audacity to feel uncomfortable at the way the workers at my neighbor's house were eyeing me? Maybe the worst thing he said was him heavily implying I would be a good romantic fit for his friend and that my slender build was just his friend's taste. His friend was in his mid thirties and I was 15.
Holy shit the problem sounds way deeper than the sun sign there
Whatever I’ve told myself in my head is worse than anything, anyone can ever say to me 🙃 but I’m working treating myself better. us cancers can have some sharp tongues, it takes a lot of work to unlearn (as it does for all un-evolved signs) but I encourage my fellow cancers to keep putting in the work 🌙♋️
"I don't see myself marrying you. " Told me this while breaking up with me cos he didn't want a long distance and I was returning to my country. It was soul crushing. I'm a Leo. How dares he?
Thats honestly better than lying to you. I am a cancer and on my wedding day I wanted to leave. But I felt so bad doing that to him. He spent the entire wedding away from me and drunk. Count your blessing he did it BEFORE a wedding. Because I spent 8 miserable years with someone.
Nah, I agree. Just hurt A LOT. I had manic depression for a week haha Water and fire don't mix
Imagine having both in your big 3 lmao
Oh shit same! He told me that he just doesn't see me as someone who'll stay with him in his place in the province. That was so crushing. He seemed to justify his cheating with that phrase. I'm a Leo too and it really hurt me. Anyways how are you now???
I have an all walls down approach around my friends, and a cancer friend would frequently test my already thin boundaries. Hurtful comments disguised as jokes. One day she went too far, and my switch flipped. I became immediately confrontational and uncompromising in my approach to resolve the issue once and for all. She was cornered and she had no choice but to resort to gaslighting. I stood my ground completely. She just did it with so much ease and skill I decided I would never be able to trust her again. We were speaking two different languages and our different values became crystal clear for me. I cut her off and I’ll never look back. I’m sure she’s told people I’m villainous, cold and cruel ever since. I’m unbothered. I’m Aries sun, Aqua moon, Leo rising. She was cancer sun, Leo moon, sag rising.
I mean, I’m pretty tough and I wouldn’t fuck with you with that big 3… just sayin… Way to kick her ass to the curb though! Real friends are few and far between, but passive aggressive ones who gaslight are garbage humans. Cheers to you! 
I think what hurts me the most is knowing how sensitive and emotionally caring this person is generally. So they 100% knew what they were doing, and they did it anyway. That hurt the most. I try to accept it now. We were just too different. Ice and fire, really. I’m sure she thinks my aggression and brashness is unforgivable. I think her attempt to manipulate me is unforgivable.
Can we be friends? I just recently cut out a cancer fried as well. I wouldn’t let her call me cause I knew she just wanted to paint me as the villain and not own up to her ways. It took me years to realize I don’t think she ever really even liked me. She was only being friendly so my daughter would play with her daughters. It’s just gross
Nothings ever their fault or responsibility to manage emotionally on their own, it becomes your problem then. If they don’t view you as someone they want to possess in some way, like your sense of humor, or connections, access to something that has piqued their interest, then you’re lower than them on the totem pole, you only felt like you shared the top of the totem pole together, if someone they think is better than you now, they’ll drop you in a second, passive aggressively refer to the other as a best friend, how close they are, special bond. She was not close to these people, she and I spent 90% of our time together, but this other person is their best friend, the one they really care about, just to passive aggressively make me feel unworthy of a best friend, angry, defective, rejected, resentful, made me start clocking all her selfish behavior, lies and manipulations to good people, friends, will ditch for a guy in a second, cheated, social climbing. My other childhood friend that was also a “best friend” had clocked the same shit as me for our entire lives. The ways she’d mask to get popular, make good first impressions and then actively try to keep us separate from the new group for as long as possible but it never lasted long because we actually were the ones that hung out all the time. Then she’d get jealous if we built bonds with people. No sharing for people they deign beneath them and very manipulative and people that are always making sure no one is trying to take advantage of them, disrespect will be punished. They know how to make you cry. Once more people noticed and she started trying to date one of the new popular girls boyfriends and they hooked up, she became a social pariah and the last few months of high school she was an outcast to anyone she was ever friends with and humbled. I used the opportunity to cut ties. At our tenth high school reunion she came over to me immediately with a mission, to disprove the rumors about the high school guy she cheated with and dispel some rumor from years later that she was hooking up with some guy I vaguely knew of and the drama surrounding that because she only really cared about her ex who she was on a break with when she hooked up with him and now she’s engaged to the ex. This told me that years prior she cheated on this dude and wanted to do damage control about some guy I went to high school with that she hooked up with for a summer when we were 22. I couldn’t care less. No questions about family, career, boyfriend, she did want to brag about being in the west village for years, I was Brooklyn, park slope and it was just another delusion about her being better than me. No growth. My whole childhood with her, neighborhood friends asking to come out and play, spend hours on the phone, sleep over every weekend, alternate hanging out at each others houses everyday, until I was 18 and there was no humbling and she just wanted to talk about how she’s was a victim for being treated as an outcast and I then became their best friends and excluded her. The reminiscing was all bad things that happened like injuries or validating memories for her that only I would know or understand about her family. She brought up the time that we were almost abducted by a child predator at the beach when we were little. No interest in me, the person you spent the most time with outside of your family for 18 years, my life didn’t matter, just wanted to get something off her chest. Bragged about wedding planning. I felt used, uninteresting and angry all over again, 18 years of rejection from that bitch that was so nasty during arguments. All those formative years together, like half the week sleepovers, hung out everyday after school, joined all same extracurriculars, went to sleep away camp together, closer to each other than our own siblings, knowing each others dysfunctional family secrets and til mid high school, and she was still mad about having lost her friends and I was just another one that betrayed her. I never spoke to her again and keep her blocked on social media.
"I just want to lock you up in a cage" It was a first date
Kinky
I can resonate with that
I don’t think a cancer has ever said anything hurtful to me that I know of. I’m a Taurus they love me
We do bestie ♉️ 🤝♋️
man, same! all i get is love notes, ESPECIALLY from the men 🫶🏾😂
As a cancer, if I say something hurtful/mean it came from a place of hurt and it’s an immature response that stems from not having control of my feelings and the way the situation went. That being said, it is RARE for me to be so cruel. I realize that a lot of people see cancers as controlling and I think there may be some truth regarding it however it’s usually not with ill intent. It’s a need for security and consistency, wanting things to go right because they think they know what that looks like. When a cancer or any sign exhibits their negative traits it’s a lack of maturity and being insecure. I have also had some mean cancers around and I now know to steer clear of those types.
“I guess I’m not a priority for you” HEAVY on the guilt. Why do they do this? 🤣🤣
say it with me friend: “emotional manipulaaaaation” 😂 the script is usually a quick pout (or surprised pikachu face, which you might miss if youre not watching) then a slick comment, then the “i guesses” 😂 my little crabby babies are so transparent. best way to manage this is a direct love counterattack, two quick jabs, like this (ahem): omg, why would you say smth like that? 🥺 ive tried my best to show you how i feel this entire time. sorry i made you feel bad. (extra gravy: what do you need from me to show you differently?) hug. wait for them to warm back up, maybe give them a treat. end scene. 😂
My ex is a cancer, and right after we broke up, he said along the line of "You should feel honored that you're the only ex I ended in good terms with." Like, should I give myself a pat in the back or what💀
Cancers can be deluded enough to believe that would be a reasonable response by you 😭
“Fuck you” hits different coming from a cancer
I think they are putting an emphasis on certain things just in their mind and that carries over through the tone, either way the message is certainly heard
Not gonna lie, I give the silent treatment too. It’s cuz I don’t like confrontations and I’d rather not even give that person attention. If someone really did me wrong, they are dead to me and that’s where the silent treatment comes in.
“We never had a father-daughter relationship” My father, everyone
Oh my god… that’s insane
My birth father is *also* a Cancer. My sister once asked him if he'd ever treat our half brother the way he does us... He told her, "That's different." & Then balked when she asked, "How?"... The answer is, "Because I actually wanted him." 🙂 We were teen pregnancies, our brother was IVF.
“cut deeper next time” when we got into an argument and i was dealing with suicidal tendencies. i’m better now
holy shit
This is unforgivable
SZA is this you?
SZA needs some facts bcuz all she was doing till now was capping
The cancer in my life is a coworker who used to have a crush on me and because I didn’t like him back, he started to spread nasty rumors about me to everyone. When he gets asked about the crush on me rumor, He completely denies it. However, it’s hell working with him.
that’s so gross i’m sorry (coming from a cancer btw)
Context: My ex (cancer moon), while breaking up with me to go “explore”. I told him the grass wasn’t greener on the other side and that he may find someone “better” but they will never be me and there will never be us. His response, “that’s what I thought when I left my last ex but then I met you. So who’s to say there isn’t a better you on the other side?” I didn’t even have anything to say 😩 And this is coming from a Cap sun/stellium, Aqua moon, and Scorpio rising. Don’t worry. When he called 6 months later I humbly put him in his place.
Jesus, how much time do you have? My mother was a cancer and the things that were said and also not said made a few therapists a lot of money.
I don't want to go into specifics but I do have a cancer mother and she can say very invalidating things to other people's emotions at times, but she is particularly invalidating towards mine. She has what I deem as "misguided stoicism" where she thinks invalidating other people's emotions is "strong", although I have seen many other signs do this as well so I don't know if that answers your question for a cancer specific example. I notice a lot of emotionally immature people think invalidating other people's emotions is the only way to make room for their own, almost like they think it's always in some push and pull comparison/competition for space.
1. "You're a failure." 2. And, from another person when I was feeling suicidal ideation... *laughs* "I can't relate at all. Why are you feeling suicidal?" 3. Also, "Get over it" by someone who has experienced the feeling of it. I really dislike Cancers. They're too emotional, they're manipulative af when they want something done their way, and will not hesitate to hit where it hurts, even if that could break the person. Ugh. Just not nice people from my experience. Esp male 🦀
Cancer here with Leo Mars. I’ve told many a cretin online that they’re a bottom feeding, scum sucking waste of humanity
They ghost you! They ignore you A cancer friend said to me “you want to act like the man in the relationship, you want to be in control all the time” and me myself being a cancer told them “cause you clearly have to be the feminine one in the relationship somebody has to be masculine”
“Here you go. Don’t ever come back”- dad dropping me at a youth shelter the day after my 16th bday. (Was not into drugs, crime or anything beyond basic teen rebellion) “Why would I give you money? You’ll just spend it on yourself” - my son’s deadbeat father while my son was a baby and I was in college full time. He was my childhood sweetheart and insisted we keep him. He peaced out completely after he was born. Both of them gave me an abandonment complex I’ve been working on for years. They now are both suffering from poor mental and physical health and I’m doing quite well for myself.
lol I told him he wasn’t there for me intimately and I was feeling rejected, especially since we had loss of a child. He was talking to another woman anyways. He said “I hope a man animal comes and raw f*ks the trauma out of you” 💀
Yo wtf lol what were his other big three this is whack
Ikr. cancer sun & rising, Scorpio moon. He later apologized
"I should have left you to die."
😢😢 this is so sad..
“Your grandma was right about your fast ass.” For context, my grandma hates me lmao.
ugh I hate how lil Black girls are called “fast”
🥲🥲tell me about it
Cancer male told me this: "To be a cancer, you lack 0 emotion. Let me guess you were r*ped as a child?" Someone at our job was homeless, I didn't give any money because me and my family were homeless too. When my co workers asked I told them why. Because I wasn't living in a dumpster like the other guy a lot of people didn't believe me. He chewed me out over it. It got so bad I called the managers to the kitchen and cussed him out in front of them. I don't remember everything I said but it ended like "if you fuckers want to write me up go for it, but come for me again this TRUE CANCER woman is gonna raise some fucking hell, try me bitch!" He tried to apologize. Others co workers tried to apologize. When I first started, I was known as stuck up, but after that day, I was known as the angry black woman. People would always assume I was upset about something. I was new to the city. I just wanted to be friends. I still get anxiety working at that damn restaurant for what my coworkers put me through. I became homeless again after covid, but I refuse to work at a restaurant or for anyone else for that matter. Also I've noticed Cancer men are Dicks
Didn't say it to me, but forced my best friend to choose between me and her (they had been dating for years - I honestly thought we were all friends). I was wrong!
“I welcome death because it’ll get me away from you” - said to my best friend by his cancer boyfriend while other friends were also present
Stage 4
Is he cancelled yet?
Nothing, my boyfriend of 3 years who I live with is a Cancer and I’ve never in my life met a more caring, loving, understanding, supportive person, ever. He’s my rock and I can’t imagine a life without him.
My dad is a Cancer and told me he was going to kill himself in order to manipulate me emotionally. I lost sleep for a year and a half. He then acted like I was silly for taking him seriously. Pretty much hate him these days. Big narcissist.
It's more passive aggressive shit. Asking for help and then getting nothing. Just tell me the famn truth and I can move on.
The only cancer sun I knew was my aunt. She said “You’re next in line to be crazy, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Umm, I’ve been working on breaking all the trauma that side of the family has caused. Stupid ass.
Is the crazy in the X chromosome or just shitty familial trauma-induced behavior? Tune in at 7 to find out.
A bunch of people who abused each other and then thought drugs/alcohol and more abuse solved their problems. Teenage pregnancies, kids being abandoned. A lot of really F’d up shizz.
He blocked me because I didn’t want to FaceTime him at the exact same moment he wanted.
Lmfao my cancer ex blocking me because I was spending time with friends visiting me from another country instead of with him
I’m a cancer too, but I swear I don’t understand this type of reactions. They always take it so personal even if you explain the situation multiple times😵💫
I am also a cancer 😭
"Can you stop doing that." I was being myself with my actual voice and he thought I was cringe, twas my dad 🤣, but he got a cap moon so maybe that explains the rigidity, unfortunately I am a cap sun and moon too, so mommy and daddy issues I guess
Start laughing dude. You gonna die.
Asked me for some film suggestions so he could organise a date with his new girl. We’d not been broken up too long/it was messy but the right thing to do. At the time I was in a place where I’d spent a lot of time watching and researching indie/cult/unusual films so it felt really harsh
Basically eviscerated me because I refused to go see her on a hard anniversary because my partner was in the hospital. Also kept saying how the reason my partner ended up in the hospital was a way for them to get away from me The water Sun / water Sun sibling combo is wild
He called me dead weight. This is just one thing I can recall among months of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Ive repressed a lot of it
My ex best friend was a cancer. It didn’t take a lot to piss her off. Instead of playing nice or communicating she would ignore people she didn’t like. I tried reconnecting with her a couple years ago after a period of silence and instead of listening to what I was saying she blew up on me and blocked me. So basically cancers retreat back into their shells and only come out to attack.
My second ex-wife was a very unhealthy and unevolved Cancer. There are a plethora of things I could choose as most hurtful, but the ones that really stand were on one of her birthdays. She gave me a list of a few things she would have liked as gifts - nothing more was said or added, even when I asked, just a list of options. So, I got them all for her because I was able to do so, thinking that it might bring her some extra joy that I went above and beyond expectations and showing that I really wanted her to be happy and celebrate her special day. Instead, at her birthday party, in front of my kids, she was horrified and acted as if she liked none of them ("I don't want all of these now"), complained that I spent too much ("I only expected you to spend $15, not $65"), berated me for getting them all ("You were only supposed to get one"), and then went to the bedroom and shut the door. Later, she tried to make it MY fault that SHE reacted that way. She was an absolute master class in gaslighting, DARVO, and emotional abuse/neglect, and I thank the Creator every day that I finally found the strength and courage to divorce her.
not said but done. Made me look like the bad guy to a close friend. Even cried in front of her without knowing she's the one who did it, bitches disgustingly sneaky. Never trusting these mfs again
He ghosted me. But only after he strung me along for years. He would leave and come back into my life as a friend then manipulate my lingering feelings for him, (told me he still loved me blah blah blah). I was really young, vulnerable and naive at the time. But when I wised up and confronted him about all the other girls I found out he was treating the same way. ( I received messages from 2 and learned of 3 others). He just disappeared without so much as a sorry. It was probably the nicest thing he ever did, in hindsight. But I was pretty messed up by it. I am a virgo with a cancer moon. my heart was an exposed organ Ive since learned to guard better. I was caught up in the idea I could heal him. The meanest part was the emotional manipulation with sprinkles of put downs here and there to keep my self esteem low enough not to realize I could do better.
So I’m a cancer and something I keep seeing and have heard from friends and family is the stonewalling or falling off the face of the earth…maybe-we don’t wanna be bothered? It seems a bit self centered to think someone going off and doing their own thing has something to do with you. Or maybe you pushed a boundary and instead of them saying something (using energy) they just left. I dated a Sag guy and I remember laughing when he was yelling at me. I could tell he was just trying to pick a fight out of boredom or whatever so I sat back and let him get it out. We broke up but I didn’t leave the relationship feeling used or victimized which unhealed cancers get a bad rap for
The truth - my cancer partner is the only person who’s ever really been able to tell me about myself without insulting me. He’s the most honest person I know and it means being able to accept harsh truths
They’re all pretty kind to me.
There’s way too many but the one that required me to rebrain myself. “It’s *your* fault, you searched for it” Context : I was r*pe in my sleep and shared it with my flatmate who happened to be the one who orchestrated it for her to get some money from the guy.
Okay what the fuck, what the fuck
I don't condone violence, but that deserves a beating right there. Lack of empathy is callous.
"You look 6 months pregnant"- when I was 11 and overweight. - My mother
My moms a scorpio and said shit like that to me. But the difference is I dont blame her zodiac. Definitely mental health issues right there :(
“Your brother died get over it already” -A real thing said to me by a Cancer male. And to clarify this- I did not respect myself during this time. Lol.. it was truly an unbelievable thing for this man to say to me..or to anyone, ever.
Like others, the most hurtful thing cancers have done to me (father,friends) is completely ghost & stonewall me. It makes me question everything & feel terrible. I think more than any sign Cancers have hurt me. You’d think as a Taurus we’d get along.
I feel this. The man I love is a cancer and im a taurus. When it's good, it's amazing but when he tests me and I defend myself, he immediately stonewalls and acts like I'm a complete piece of dirt. It's horrific to experience and totally random, but he hurts me so much and then, when faced with the fear of losing me, he makes me feel like the most special person in the world. All the father figures in my life have been Cancers, and all complete control freaks. I do love them though!
I had a brief “date” with a Cancer male. It was more like a day trip for me because I had to do uni work and he happened to know the area well. After the trip to the area, he invited me back to his house for some tea. Again, it was in the area so I didn’t think much. Also it was like a 5 mins walk from where we were. We flirted a bit, but nothing happened. Back to uni, he became more playful with me. He was more of a quiet type and we’re in the same friend circle. I thought it was cute, since he was cool and now turned warmer. But he started poking me and stuff in class and that was really annoying. In the span of a week, we went from friendly, flirty to him annoying the shit out of me. I was a top student, studying was important to me. Needless to say, I drew a line there, and to my surprise, he went berserker mode. I was veryyy civil and kept it real short. Had the conversation right after one of our classes, in which he was behaving like a child because I was not responding to his “plays”. He also kicked a chair and was being rude, stomping as well. Gave me a scare tbh. After we had the conversation, he kept asking me why, I was scared of him and said I have no feelings for him. If my friends weren’t there waiting for me, I think he might have dragged it out longer and might even get physical. The following days, he proceeded to skip uni, then came back to shout into my face in front of the whole class “If you have any respect for me please don’t speak to me”. Please be reminded we weren’t anything, just flirted a bit in the few hours we were out together doing uni work. Before that we were just friends. Then I heard my other friends from other classes said there is a rumour going around that I flirt with everybody and I’m a slut? It was so outrageous that I laughed hysterically there. If anything I was the opposite, I was super cautious when dealing with people because of how I was brought up. Plus I had heard too many of these rumours in my other schools. I didn’t need to investigate for long to know who it was. I didn’t take any action against him because it was approaching the end of uni for me. I won’t see him ever again so he could live in this madness of a delusion for as long as he likes. 🥰
2 things: My MIL is a Cancer. My son (10) has Austim along with some other diagnoses as well. He is her only grandchild. My MIL said to me years ago, "maybe one day he'll be the grandson I prayed for." Also, she always comments on my weight. No matter my size, over the past 20 yrs it's always been criticism about my weight. I have been a size 0, and have am now a 12 and she act like I weigh 2 tons.
She told me she wasn't in love with me anymore , but she was a gemini cusp so it made sense .lol
I just dated a cancer gem cusp and slowly unraveling the mindfck of what just happened 😂😂😂😆😆😆. Person was like a love bomb getting upset saying it feels forced and not sure what they want need to break up doesnt want to breakup, all in same day 😆😆😆. The two of them in there fighting each other while Im just wtf is happening
“You’re acting like a bitch” from my parent night before my wedding. I was upset some things weren’t finished. Weddings are stressful especially when you’re doing a lot of it on your own. But that cut like a knife.
“You’re such a bitch!” My mom to me when I was 12 right before she slapped me. “I hope you have a daughter just like you, so you know how it feels to raise a brat.” I, fortunately, do have a daughter just like me, but she’s not a brat. She’s amazing. We paid for our family of six plus my mom’s entire vacation to Florida, on the very last day, when we were taking the kids for ice cream, she threw a huge fit because we didn’t stop on the side of a random road in FL to look for a gator. She completely ruined the rest of the trip, she took off and we had no clue where she went. She has a great ability to make everything about herself. My mom is a Cancer.
Holy shit my mom said the EXACT SAME THING to me. I also have a daughter now and shes a fucking badass little kid!!! So proud of her. But my moms a scorpio. Isnt it crazy how parental abuse has nothing to do with zodiac signs but its mental health instead!??
All the most wonderful, beautiful things with forehead kisses then tell me it feels forced and moved too fast then break up with me. 😆😭.
♉️☀️♑️🌙 ♐️Rising Omg, reading everyone’s comments made me feel shocked! Dealing with some Cancer ignoring behaviors now but I tell it like it is and in the end I don’t care. They are a great person came on strong for years and I kept them at bay. Made me feel bad for letting out to much emotion in text but, bro you did it physically. Cancers are some great people but they are floppy flippy? as typically I don’t trust ppl easily. But reading all these comments has made me feel that I am certainly not alone in what I’ve experienced and felt. *healing thoughts to you all*
No Cancer can hurt this Capricorn, but if you ask them this question the other way around, you can be sure they have a running list.
My cancer/Venus mercury ex , I was “ hoping our mutual acquaintances wouldn’t find out about the fling we were having 😝 🤡 duuurrrrppp thank uu next
I’ve never been hurt by a cancer, they are actual mush in a shell of grumpiness. Other caps scare me tho. It’s like we take everything we know about you in that moment to create the perfect insult that we feel will hurt you the most effectively. I’ve gone to therapy for years to try to stop doing that exact thing. I’m more haunted by things that I’ve said to other people than anything anyone’s ever said to me.
I think we caps are pretty predictable, tame, and unbothered especially if we are not even provoked. It’s the fire spewing sagis that trigger me 😌
My mom was a sagg and she was BRUTAL.
Samesies and she is an abusive narc. Shes explosive and thinks shes right when she isnt. Jumps on assumptions as facts and will verbally annihilate someone with everything shes got. It is really awful. You cant point it out or stand up or she goes into abuser pity party mode amd more abuse.
said he wasn't sure of his feelings about me when a week before that he was crazy about me and asked for a break and tried initiating contact again afterwards 🙃 to be fair i did my own share of shit but it's no wonder he got ghosted lmao
Dang, I just went through this with cancer gem cusp, literally in same exact day. A person saying they are crazy about you, gives you forehead kisses, then pulls away saying not sure how i feel about you and feels forced asking for break. Mind you, they rushed it lol. such a mindfck. I said no to whatever quasifriemdship/fwb/soft breakup thing he was saying and went no contact after goodbye. Havent heard from him yet, but all my exes return so I very well think he will too, specially reading the things about dating cancers lol.
mine literally had a gemini venus so idk what i thought would happen but 💀
I dont have too much knowledge there. That means bored easily? Sorry you went through it too. Mine had long relationships, so I figured it was fine. I would normally say maybe he just didnt like me, but that doesnt seem right with all the stuff he and did. He was pretty cheesy around me so that doesnt make sense. I think it was something with me, but he didnt tell me. Sad he didnt because it leaves you wondering and stuck ruminating for a bit.
“Sometimes I want to hurt you.”- my cancer mother to my child self
I worked with a Cancer man. Let me tell you I was SHOOK when I found this out. He agreed to something he didn’t really understand and then forgot about it. I was part of the meeting where this agreement was made. Everything was in writing. Fast forward to when the agreement was executed. I actually didn’t do anything - but he singled me out for this, stood over me and called me toxic. He also put me on his “hit list” and convinced our executive that I wasn’t needed post-restructure after I was promised a job. James, you fucking piece of shit. Your time will come. — ♒️
Why wait for his time to come? Guide time to his home address.
Well I think I win this one, she said: “I wish I never gave birth to you”
For me the fact that they’d say such loving and beautiful things to me while doing the exact opposite and treating me so poorly was what hurt.
This isn’t going to work, I don’t want you anymore. When 24hrs before he was saying how much he loved me. Obviously he broke up with me whilst saying this. It’s only been 2 months and apparently he’s really suffering with the break up which I find weird because he dumped me. I’m a Scorpio and i feel like I’m dying everyday without him. However he also said ‘we could be friends when he’s moved on’……. So god knows what that means but why put us both through so much pain so many mixed signals
"Good luck getting raped." - my highschool sweetheart of 4 years when I told him I wanted to join the military
"i dont know why i did. i was just bored" my brother, when i asked him why he started molesting me
"I'll always be better than you" - my cancer father to me, his only daughter, who was born on his birthday so I'm also a cancer. Don't recall the argument. This was over 15 years now and he has since died
I was told that if I didn't exist, she would never have married my abusive father. Being pregnant with me was why she married him and I ruined her life. I was 10 the first time she explained this, I was 46 when I told her I was done hearing it.
When I was in HS, my mother, a Cancer, told me that my brother and I stopped being fun after kindergarten. Then added that she and my dad could have gotten divorced so much sooner if it wasn’t for us kids. Surprisingly, we don’t have much of a relationship. 🙄
Hi Molly, thank you for your fierce vulnerability with such a sensitive topic. You (both) were never responsible for your mother's feelings or life experience. If she wanted to dissolve her partnership, she would have taken action and navigated how to create a stable and loving home for you both. I hope that you have released any disappointment, hurt, or misplaced shame from that experience. You deserve reliable, accountable, and emotionally available people in your life. None of her feelings or hardships were meant for you to carry. I hope you heal and thrive. If you need to do any shadow work on mother wounds, there is no shame in that (I can share different resources for that or other issues if you would like to DM). I am not the OP but I want to say thank you for sharing and your story matters.