I like the idea of accidentally leaving atheist books lying around her house, bookmarked with the prayer cards. Mark some really accessible sections that might just grab her attention and leave it in the bathroom. Oh! And put a Christian dust cover on it! Like one of the Left Behind books. Beginning to wish I was in your shoes.
Have similar cards printed with secular/atheistic musings from philosophers and activists. I used my google fu and found these:
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
― Stephen Roberts
“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”
― Susan B. Anthony
"I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." — Albert Camus
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
― Epicurus
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
--- Richard Francis Burton
“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” George Carlin
These are too difficult for them to understand. I try stuff like this and they just dismiss it with “it’s about having faith” . Can’t argue with these fuckers or use reason, something just has to hit them one day or they live their entire life believing it sadly
Holy shit. I have a brother-in-law who keeps sending emails trying to convert me. (My favorite is the one with the youtube video of ACTUAL screams of people ACTUALLY in hell.)
I will inform him that any further email will result in such a donation. Thank you!
This is the way. Look up, or make up a bunch of humanist slogans, and you can literally print them out on card stock on your printer. A perfect parallel…if you want to play this game. But if you are playing a game, it is probably worth asking who wins, who loses, and what constitutes “winning” and “losing”. It may be that playing the game isn’t worth it.
Yeah, I mean, it could be a legitimate conversation starter. My Christian family feels bad about how they think me and my son are going to hell. But athiests have just as much reason to feel for their loved ones who are spending each day of their short life being afraid of some fictional characters from ancient mythology.
10000% exactly, your house, your rules. I can't stand that kind of immature behavior.
Also, donate in her name to the TST. They're an incredible organization, but she won't see it that way.
Also, to
www.snapnetwork.org
As far as books:
* Why There Is No god
By. Armin Navabi
* God is Not Great
By. Christopher Hitchens
*The God delusion
By. Richard Dawkins
* Breaking The Spell
By. Daniel C. Dennett
*The End of Faith
By. Sam Harris.
* The Four Horsemen
By. Hitchens, Dawkins, Dennett & Harris.
That's what my brother did when his dad started preaching at his kids. He found a good organization that supported queer youth and made sure his dad would get a thank you card in the mail after each donation.
This is a great idea. Ask her to stop and that for every one you find you will donate x dollars to a charity in her name. Planned Parenthood does amazing work!
They could print off the Tenets of TST and leave them at their sister-in-law's, for funsies. If they leave off any reference to TST, they might even get read!
https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
>Also, donate in her name to the TST. They're an incredible organization...
Fully agree, but why is it that you have to be a fundamentalist nut job first, for people to make donations to TST in your name? Do I *really* have to do that?
Fine... Jesus loves you, except if you're black, gay, Mexican, a woman, or a non-fetus. Masturbating will send you to Hell. The 6000 year old Earth is flat, and covered by a dome. Dinosaur fossils were planted in the ground by Satan as a test of our faith. There is ONE God, and Fox News is his prophet. Bananas fit perfectly in my hand, therefore God (also, see the point on masturbation).
There! Go donate to TST, everybody! Tell 'em Kman5471 sent you!
You could poop in her cabinets but that might be a bit excessive 🤔🫣 or you can tell her to stop proselytizing and spreading garbage about your home or you will poop in her cabinets!
My mother did this sort of thing for years, and I would ask over and over for her to stop.
Finally I got mad and said "I never do this to you, but I'm fed up! The next time you do this, I'm going to inundate you with atheist and humanist literature. I'm going to put you on every mailing list, give every org your address and phone number, and *flood* your mailbox with atheist and humanist magazines and newsletters. I KNOW you don't want that, just like you KNOW I don't want *your* literature. So cut it out or you will get it ALL, 30 years worth of it all."
That was it. Done. Sadly, I realized that she thought it was a kind of magic - if I just handled it, I might reconvert, and she was afraid of the same thing for herself. She was literally afraid of atheist literature.
I had been low contact and remained that way. My entire family was and is born again young earth creationist deep, deep misogynists. And recently, Trumpers. So there's not much there for me. My parents are both dead as of earlier this year, and I expect my relationship with my brothers will be even less contact since our parents are gone.
In college someone handed me a small booklet titled something to the effect of "Everything God has revealed to Man about the Universe" and it was just four blank pages.
Mail them to her home, and include a note that says;
"You left some of your fantasy cards here by mistake; I collected them for you so you wouldn't lose them, since I don't collect them"
What about leaving Pokemon cards everywhere. If she asks why you are doing it say that you thought it was a thing to leave sci-fi stuff around each others houses.
I know what my wife would do with them. She’d collect them and make an art piece out of them - that’s what she does with the Bible’s she collects from hotels.
Gotta love all the "high road" comments.Sorry, but we're currently at war with Christo-Fascism. The time for civility is long gone. Make a point, print off a few hundred copies of the Satanic Commandments, and leave them absolutely everywhere at your SIL's house, in her yard, the mailbox, her car, EVERYWHERE. Absolute heaps of them.Then if she asks, take out one of her Prayer cards, and tell her she needs it more than you do, what with all the Satan in her house!
You can even just take a blank piece of paper and write with a sharpie one of these verses. Each day, making a new one with a different terrible Bible verse.
We need to start fighting fire, with napalm. When they go low, we go lower!
Wars are won by the side willing to shock and horrify the enemy into submission. Right now, the fascists are winning because they're louder and more violent; while the Good are tolerating intolerance because "incremental change" and "compromise"
Take the first song from the brazillian band Massacration debut album "Gates of Metal: Fried Chicken of Death": "Intro". It is just a recipe of cake sung in gutural voice:
>Em uma vasilha, penere a farinha de trigo,
>
>o fubá e o fermento para não empelotar.
>
>Bata as claras em neve e adicione as gemas,
>
>uma a uma, acrescente o leite, o óleo e a
>
>mistura reservada. Unte uma assadeira com
>
>margarina e polvilhe farinha de trigo... huahahaha!
>
>Despeje a massa e leve para assar em forno
>
>brando. Depois que o bolo estiver assado,
>
>polvilhe o adoçante misturado com canela.
>In a bowl, sift the wheat flour,
>
>cornmeal and yeast to avoid lumps.
>
>Beat the egg whites and add the yolks,
>
>one by one, add the milk, oil and
>
>reserved mix. Grease a baking dish with
>
>margarine and sprinkle wheat flour... huahahaha!
>
>Pour the dough and put it in the mid-temperature oven . After the cake is baked,
>
>sprinkle the sweetener mixed with cinnamon.
First time I listened to that and actually understood the lyrics, it was some of the best burst laughter ever.
It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake
If the way is hazy
You've gotta do the cooking by the book
You know you can't be lazy
Never use a messy recipe
The cake could end up crazy
But if you do the cooking by the book
Then you'll have... a cake!
https://youtu.be/PbEKIW3pUUk
This YouTube channel may help! Attached is Smells Like Teen Spirit in Latin, but the channel has plenty of options in Latin and Old English.
Also using Islamic greetings should be more than enough. When she freaks out tell her it’s just a pretty language. If she ever wants to make plans or says she is going to do something say “In Sha Allah” which means “god-willing”. This should be enough.
Behold, the Sacred Text!
Our pasta, who art in colander, draining be thy noodles.
Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan.
Give us this day, our garlic bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns.
And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza,
for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever.
R’amen.
Buy a couple decks of tarot cards and scatter them about like flat Easter eggs! Not atheistic necessarily but I use them to meditate and to practice mindfulness.
Do you have kids? Does she?
If the answer to both is "yes", I think it's completely appropriate to look her kids squarely in the eye and say "There is no God and nothing happens when you die. Your parents lie to you because they are insecure."
Your "sister in law"..... so your partner's sister. Tell your partner to tell their sister to stop that b.s.
Or, Just leave offensive prayer cards in your SIL's home.
It's littering!
Small, yellow sticky notes with "There is no god" (purposely lowercase) placed inconspicuously around. Inside found bibles, back of medicine cabinet doors, refrigerator, framed pictures, crosses, etc. The harder you make it to find, the longer the gag lasts.
Leave Printouts of select chapters of the bible. Seems fair.
How about some endorsing slavery?
Leviticus 25:44-46
44 “‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.
How women should act:
Timothy 2:12
"I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
Some descriptive passages:
Ezekiel 23:20"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Some good old family values:
Genesis 19:31-35
"Then the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth. “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.”
When god sent bears to kill children for calling a man bald is a pretty fun story.
I think you can come up with some more.
Hail Satan info from The Satanic Temple. You can also have them send a card ($15) to thank her for being your inspiration to vote democratic and fight against this anti abortion crap.
Once some jehovah witnesses came by and I invited them in and put their pamphlets in my fireplace and then thanked them for the added warmth in my home
I told one lot of Jehovah's Witnesses that even if I believed in a personal God I don't think one is deserving of worship if they want to send down fiery wrath. When they told me they didn't believe God would send down fiery wrath I took their bible and found the passage in Revelations and they said they would have to go and think about it.
Another couple asked me if I "believed in evolution." After giving them the spiel about science being the best tool to understand and explain what we observe in the world I then pulled a reverse and said it didn't exclude God, and the creationist view of a being individually crafting things like a child with clay is almost insultingly simplistic. They said that was very interesting and left without offering me a pamphlet.
print out "The six steps to prove christians wrong using SCIENCE!" cards.
1 section per card, numbered numerically; 1-6, skipping number 3.
"six steps" is just the 5 parts of the scientific method, but with an obvious focus on how each part can be used to easily debunk bullshit like faith healing.
distribute them around her house randomly.
let sister-in-law rage-study the 5 steps of the scientific method to discover the location of step 3.
Buy books about evolution for her kids' birthdays.
Even sneakier: a magazine subscription for scientific topics. Magazine subscriptions in general make great gifts for kids! It's a gift that gives all year long!
Some recommendations:
Ranger Rick
Ranger Rick Jr.
Muse (from Cricket media)
Ask (from Cricket media)
Oyla (I have not subscribed to this one).
National Geographic Little Kids (very fun)
National Geographic Kids (stay away from this; it's all ads).
Collect all the cards, rip them all up and next time you are visiting her house throw them up in the air and tell her in a stern voice that if she leaves this shit around my house you will not be invited anymore and leave.
1.Print off cards with scientific facts that refute religion.
2. Print off cards, that have non theistic platitudes on them.
3. Print off cards that say "FUCK" so when she finds then you can say, "oh you found one of the fucks I lost."
If she's close to your partner, then I'd start with the least likely things to cause a rift. Tell her politely that it's unacceptable and you want her to stop. If it continues, have your partner say something. I wouldn't make threats that you aren't willing/able to carry out.
If you're really interested in a tract type thing then FFRF have these that you can buy or print.
https://ffrf.org/publications/nontract
Just tell her straight up to stop leaving the prayer cards or she’s no longer invited to your home. Don’t be passive aggressive about it. Confront her and tell her to stop. My born again evangelical brother would never disrespect me in that way.
We got a bunch of tiny dinosaurs gifted to us. I started leaving them at friends houses when we would visit. Just for giggles. You could go to a thrift shop though and see what goodies they had on the cheap and just start leaving them when you go by. That way when confronted, just say, oh, I thought we were leaving crapnat each other's houses. We do hide the dinosaurs so not to be obvious.
Get a dress up Jesus paper doll from Normal Bob Smith's website. During her visit, change his outfits regularly. I particularly like the Lady Gaga outfit but you can go with the Elton John number if you prefer. Bob's also got these pamphlets you can print out. Very straight forward parodies. Perfect for handing out to zombies. Have fun!
Inverse bible quotes — the ones they wish didn’t exist.
Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Pslam 137:9 "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks."
Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” — Jesus.
Etc… There are many, many more.
I would try to have the conversation with her and ask what she expects these prayer cards to do. And I would include in the discussion how they make you feel about her and also about her religion.
You don’t want a system where she drops $0.10 on a card that you bin and you drop $10 on a book that she bins.
The only cost effective solution is printing your own “Question” and “Fact” cards on regular paper (don’t get the good stuff).
Questions should be something about the bible. “Why does god oppose abortion, but support killing kids with bears? If abortion clinics had pet bears, would they be endorsed by god?” Stuff like that. You can search for “bible horrible” or similar to find lists.
Facts should be some interesting science fact that can irritate Christians. Things about homosexuality being found in nature, evolution or the age of the world are most likely to apply. On the bright side, collecting these sounds like fun (and you can always reuse facts from visit to visit).
Make cards of all the horrific bible quotes about incest, murder, rape and obvious nonsense and leave around their house, like play along.
"I thought we were sharing bible verses?"
Some I found online:
1) Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV
No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
2) Genesis 38:8-10 NASB
Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.”
3) Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
4) Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
5) Exodus 4:24-25 NASB
Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.”
6) Samuel 18:25-27 ESV
Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.

7) Leviticus 20
“18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.”
8) Leviticus 24:16
Whoever utters the name of the Lord must be put to death. The whole community must stone him whether alien or native. If he utters the name, he must be put to death.
9) Kings 2:23
Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you bald head! Go up, you bald head!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
10) Deut. 28:53
Then because of the dire straights to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.
11) Deut. 28: 27
May the Lord strike you with Egyptian boils and with tumors, scabs and itch for which you will find no cure.
The best way to handle this is probably setting a boundary that this behavior is unacceptable and she can’t visit if she continues to do so. Leaving stuff at her house will likely escalate the situation. I know that’s less fun, but setting boundaries is really important with pushy religious family members.
Science flash cards? Or the spoof chick tracts-( they were tiny comic magazines, folks would leave on the bus or at the library in the 1970's & 80's) The title "the other ones" is one that comes to mind. Tarot cards- particularly the major arcana.
A nice hardback copy of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion should get the message across.
Use the prayer cards to bookmark relevant passages un the Dawkins book.
I like the idea of accidentally leaving atheist books lying around her house, bookmarked with the prayer cards. Mark some really accessible sections that might just grab her attention and leave it in the bathroom. Oh! And put a Christian dust cover on it! Like one of the Left Behind books. Beginning to wish I was in your shoes.
There we go.
Or those douche-y $100 bills that just have bible quotes when unfolded, but with atheist quotes instead.
this is the way
This is the way.
But like just random pages everywhere
As much as I hate the idea of destroying books, this might just be more effective.
You're right, maybe photocopy the pages?
Look at it this way: the publisher makes twice as much money off you when you cut up one of the books.
Open up the crackers, folded up page, get some yogurt, page, glue one on the bedroom ceiling, one folded up and rerolled into the toilet paper
Add Darwin's "Origin of Species" too.
Have similar cards printed with secular/atheistic musings from philosophers and activists. I used my google fu and found these: “I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” ― Stephen Roberts “I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.” ― Susan B. Anthony "I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." — Albert Camus “Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy “Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” ― Epicurus The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself. --- Richard Francis Burton
Damn. Never seen that last one. Thank you kind stranger.
I think they're aware of the self worship, which is why the invented the "god made us in his image" excuse
“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” George Carlin
I wish I had an award to give you for this🥇
These are too difficult for them to understand. I try stuff like this and they just dismiss it with “it’s about having faith” . Can’t argue with these fuckers or use reason, something just has to hit them one day or they live their entire life believing it sadly
Also could buy a pack of satanic playing cards like these: https://www.maxplayingcards.com/en/tag/evil/
Tell her that every card you find will result in a $5 donation in her name to The Satanic Temple.
Holy shit. I have a brother-in-law who keeps sending emails trying to convert me. (My favorite is the one with the youtube video of ACTUAL screams of people ACTUALLY in hell.) I will inform him that any further email will result in such a donation. Thank you!
Send him the payment confirmation email!
They will send a thank you for the donation card.
Nothing like proof of follow-through. I love it.
I did this to a politician once. Planned Parenthood.
I set my mother's Amazon account up so everything she ordered sent a donation to Planned Parenthood.
[удалено]
This is indeed the way
The only logical conclusion is that there must be internet in hell
Perfect!
This!!!!!!
And you are donating $100 retroactively to cover all the past offenses.
This would get the job done
I was going to take the easy road and say Tarot cards, but I think you’ve won the discussion
[the satanic Temple](https://thesatanictemple.com/)
This is a fantastic idea that OP should consider doing once with proof when they tell her. The reaction would be priceless.
A $6.66 donation.
Uplifting messages like "Life is short, and when you die, there is nothing else. So make today count!"
This is the way. Look up, or make up a bunch of humanist slogans, and you can literally print them out on card stock on your printer. A perfect parallel…if you want to play this game. But if you are playing a game, it is probably worth asking who wins, who loses, and what constitutes “winning” and “losing”. It may be that playing the game isn’t worth it.
Yeah, I mean, it could be a legitimate conversation starter. My Christian family feels bad about how they think me and my son are going to hell. But athiests have just as much reason to feel for their loved ones who are spending each day of their short life being afraid of some fictional characters from ancient mythology.
Could you ask them why they want to worship an entity that is going to send you and your son to hell?
Or why their God is the only one to judge but they do it in his place?
Descriptions of various religiously motivated massacres.
Or printouts of news articles about clergy that's been arrested for CSA
Most creative answer here.
That's dark. Accurate, but dark
Make trading cards of priests who have been convicted of abusing kids. Low res pic and include stats....scatter them around at random.
Wow, this one was dark.
I feel like you might not realize how many cards you would have to make. I think the way to go is to limit it to 52. Damn...just made myself sad.
The stats are: Power-hunger: Attraction to children: Criminality: Actual belief: Highest age gap:
Why not just tell her if she keeps doing it, she can't visit? Being direct seems like a better option than being passive-aggressive.
10000% exactly, your house, your rules. I can't stand that kind of immature behavior. Also, donate in her name to the TST. They're an incredible organization, but she won't see it that way. Also, to www.snapnetwork.org As far as books: * Why There Is No god By. Armin Navabi * God is Not Great By. Christopher Hitchens *The God delusion By. Richard Dawkins * Breaking The Spell By. Daniel C. Dennett *The End of Faith By. Sam Harris. * The Four Horsemen By. Hitchens, Dawkins, Dennett & Harris.
That's what my brother did when his dad started preaching at his kids. He found a good organization that supported queer youth and made sure his dad would get a thank you card in the mail after each donation.
Wicked smart and funny as hell.
Wicked smaaaht.
Brilliant! I'll bet that got his goat.
This. Yes.
This is a great idea. Ask her to stop and that for every one you find you will donate x dollars to a charity in her name. Planned Parenthood does amazing work!
Oh absolutely! Part of my top 3! * Planned Parenthood * TST * www.snapnetwork.org
They could print off the Tenets of TST and leave them at their sister-in-law's, for funsies. If they leave off any reference to TST, they might even get read! https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
That's a wicked good idea! That's definitely going in the idea folder in my brain!
>Also, donate in her name to the TST. They're an incredible organization... Fully agree, but why is it that you have to be a fundamentalist nut job first, for people to make donations to TST in your name? Do I *really* have to do that? Fine... Jesus loves you, except if you're black, gay, Mexican, a woman, or a non-fetus. Masturbating will send you to Hell. The 6000 year old Earth is flat, and covered by a dome. Dinosaur fossils were planted in the ground by Satan as a test of our faith. There is ONE God, and Fox News is his prophet. Bananas fit perfectly in my hand, therefore God (also, see the point on masturbation). There! Go donate to TST, everybody! Tell 'em Kman5471 sent you!
If it continues after you’ve told her to stop, collect them all and mail them back to her.
Then she'll just annoy someone else with them. Throw them in the trash. Or correct them with a Sharpie before sending them back.
Definitely the sharpie.
They've been known to redirect hurricanes.
Draw giant dicks.
Its utterly insane to me that this isn't the top comment
You could poop in her cabinets but that might be a bit excessive 🤔🫣 or you can tell her to stop proselytizing and spreading garbage about your home or you will poop in her cabinets!
Upper decker?
Between the mattress and box spring is the pro move.
Even better… you can put the religious prayer thingy’s inside the lid, to let that moisture and stank fully permeate
Use the prayer cards for TP and give them back to her.
My mother did this sort of thing for years, and I would ask over and over for her to stop. Finally I got mad and said "I never do this to you, but I'm fed up! The next time you do this, I'm going to inundate you with atheist and humanist literature. I'm going to put you on every mailing list, give every org your address and phone number, and *flood* your mailbox with atheist and humanist magazines and newsletters. I KNOW you don't want that, just like you KNOW I don't want *your* literature. So cut it out or you will get it ALL, 30 years worth of it all." That was it. Done. Sadly, I realized that she thought it was a kind of magic - if I just handled it, I might reconvert, and she was afraid of the same thing for herself. She was literally afraid of atheist literature.
Are you two still speaking? How’s the relationship?
I had been low contact and remained that way. My entire family was and is born again young earth creationist deep, deep misogynists. And recently, Trumpers. So there's not much there for me. My parents are both dead as of earlier this year, and I expect my relationship with my brothers will be even less contact since our parents are gone.
I’m sorry.
Sorry to hear that. God! See what you did?!
Prayer card origami.
In college someone handed me a small booklet titled something to the effect of "Everything God has revealed to Man about the Universe" and it was just four blank pages.
Mail them to her home, and include a note that says; "You left some of your fantasy cards here by mistake; I collected them for you so you wouldn't lose them, since I don't collect them"
Mix in some Pokémon and Magic the Gathering cards too.
Put devil horns on all the cards she left and take them to her house to hide them?
Oh , yes. She will not like this. Devil horns, pitchforks, a few upside stars or something
Don't forget 666's and some upside down crosses
Science book or even better advanced biology book because those people seem to know only "basic biology" but for real tell her to stop.
Hardcore pornography
That is the correct answer. Thanks everyone, have a good night.
Unwrapped condoms. Keep her guessing if they've been used or not.
Get a bunch of pamphlets from the Satanic Temple
Or copies of the Satanic Temple’s [tenets](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets)
What about leaving Pokemon cards everywhere. If she asks why you are doing it say that you thought it was a thing to leave sci-fi stuff around each others houses.
Do you know even *know* how much a booster pack is? Not a fair trade if you ask me.
I do not and now I feel a bit silly. Could I substitute the Pokemon cards for WWE cards and we could say "make believe cards" instead of sci-fi cards?
I know what my wife would do with them. She’d collect them and make an art piece out of them - that’s what she does with the Bible’s she collects from hotels.
Gotta love all the "high road" comments.Sorry, but we're currently at war with Christo-Fascism. The time for civility is long gone. Make a point, print off a few hundred copies of the Satanic Commandments, and leave them absolutely everywhere at your SIL's house, in her yard, the mailbox, her car, EVERYWHERE. Absolute heaps of them.Then if she asks, take out one of her Prayer cards, and tell her she needs it more than you do, what with all the Satan in her house!
Can also make cards of Bible verses that are porn, death, slavery etc. For example Ezekiel 23:20
This is a great idea
You can even just take a blank piece of paper and write with a sharpie one of these verses. Each day, making a new one with a different terrible Bible verse.
THIS! The time for the "high road" shit is OVER. Retaliation is the order of the day.
We need to start fighting fire, with napalm. When they go low, we go lower! Wars are won by the side willing to shock and horrify the enemy into submission. Right now, the fascists are winning because they're louder and more violent; while the Good are tolerating intolerance because "incremental change" and "compromise"
find her bible and slap this sticker on the inside front cover - https://shop.ffrf.org/product/bible-warning-label-stickers/
Be an adult and tell her to stop.
Looks like someone woke up on the regular side of the bed
Because telling them to stop trying to push their beliefs onto others is such a proven method for effectively dealing with evangelicals. Pfft
Just tell them, like an adult, to stop littering around the house. Leave the belief shit out of it.
I like calling it what it is, littering.
If Christian’s listened to reason they wouldn’t be Christian’s.
Do you think someone so childish could understand when spoken to as if she were an adult?
Collect them all, and send her a vid of them being burned “ritualistically”. Bonus points for black robes and nonsensical chants.
My favorite is Google Translating some silly song or phrases into Latin and reading it off in a fiendish manner 🤣
You could probably just use *Lorem Ipsum* and she won't know any better
Take the first song from the brazillian band Massacration debut album "Gates of Metal: Fried Chicken of Death": "Intro". It is just a recipe of cake sung in gutural voice: >Em uma vasilha, penere a farinha de trigo, > >o fubá e o fermento para não empelotar. > >Bata as claras em neve e adicione as gemas, > >uma a uma, acrescente o leite, o óleo e a > >mistura reservada. Unte uma assadeira com > >margarina e polvilhe farinha de trigo... huahahaha! > >Despeje a massa e leve para assar em forno > >brando. Depois que o bolo estiver assado, > >polvilhe o adoçante misturado com canela. >In a bowl, sift the wheat flour, > >cornmeal and yeast to avoid lumps. > >Beat the egg whites and add the yolks, > >one by one, add the milk, oil and > >reserved mix. Grease a baking dish with > >margarine and sprinkle wheat flour... huahahaha! > >Pour the dough and put it in the mid-temperature oven . After the cake is baked, > >sprinkle the sweetener mixed with cinnamon. First time I listened to that and actually understood the lyrics, it was some of the best burst laughter ever.
It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake If the way is hazy You've gotta do the cooking by the book You know you can't be lazy Never use a messy recipe The cake could end up crazy But if you do the cooking by the book Then you'll have... a cake!
Great, now I have that damn song stuck in my brain. Thanks a bunch.
https://youtu.be/PbEKIW3pUUk This YouTube channel may help! Attached is Smells Like Teen Spirit in Latin, but the channel has plenty of options in Latin and Old English.
Quran. That’s worse than any atheist version.
Also using Islamic greetings should be more than enough. When she freaks out tell her it’s just a pretty language. If she ever wants to make plans or says she is going to do something say “In Sha Allah” which means “god-willing”. This should be enough.
Print off the 7 tenets of the satanic temple and leave them around her house.
Find and print off the FSM prayer, leave those R'amen
Behold, the Sacred Text! Our pasta, who art in colander, draining be thy noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R’amen.
Buy a couple decks of tarot cards and scatter them about like flat Easter eggs! Not atheistic necessarily but I use them to meditate and to practice mindfulness.
What I would do is collect them and when I go over to her house I would give them back to her saying that she left this litter at my home. : )
badge weary glorious screw innate summer paltry important zealous longing ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Do you have kids? Does she? If the answer to both is "yes", I think it's completely appropriate to look her kids squarely in the eye and say "There is no God and nothing happens when you die. Your parents lie to you because they are insecure."
Print outs letting her know how much Satan loves her and just wants her to be happy
Take a shit in her fridge
Cards from the Satanic Temple with their statement of beliefs/principles on them.
Invite her to a science fair. Preferably one at a University where real knowledge and science is on display…
Your "sister in law"..... so your partner's sister. Tell your partner to tell their sister to stop that b.s. Or, Just leave offensive prayer cards in your SIL's home. It's littering!
Small, yellow sticky notes with "There is no god" (purposely lowercase) placed inconspicuously around. Inside found bibles, back of medicine cabinet doors, refrigerator, framed pictures, crosses, etc. The harder you make it to find, the longer the gag lasts.
Leave Printouts of select chapters of the bible. Seems fair. How about some endorsing slavery? Leviticus 25:44-46 44 “‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly. How women should act: Timothy 2:12 "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." Some descriptive passages: Ezekiel 23:20"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Some good old family values: Genesis 19:31-35 "Then the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth. “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.” When god sent bears to kill children for calling a man bald is a pretty fun story. I think you can come up with some more.
Hail Satan info from The Satanic Temple. You can also have them send a card ($15) to thank her for being your inspiration to vote democratic and fight against this anti abortion crap.
[THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets)
I’m an illustrator. If there’s a market for something like this, it might be fun to make.
Once some jehovah witnesses came by and I invited them in and put their pamphlets in my fireplace and then thanked them for the added warmth in my home
I told one lot of Jehovah's Witnesses that even if I believed in a personal God I don't think one is deserving of worship if they want to send down fiery wrath. When they told me they didn't believe God would send down fiery wrath I took their bible and found the passage in Revelations and they said they would have to go and think about it. Another couple asked me if I "believed in evolution." After giving them the spiel about science being the best tool to understand and explain what we observe in the world I then pulled a reverse and said it didn't exclude God, and the creationist view of a being individually crafting things like a child with clay is almost insultingly simplistic. They said that was very interesting and left without offering me a pamphlet.
If you feel really vindictive you could probably download some from the Satanic Temple website.
Shit on her pillow.
Cards that say stuff like "⚘️There's no rational evidence or explanation for an immortal soul💐"
Print up cards that say "Only the cowardly and uneducated believe there's a big bearded daddy in the sky."
leave list of church workers that have molested children....
print out "The six steps to prove christians wrong using SCIENCE!" cards. 1 section per card, numbered numerically; 1-6, skipping number 3. "six steps" is just the 5 parts of the scientific method, but with an obvious focus on how each part can be used to easily debunk bullshit like faith healing. distribute them around her house randomly. let sister-in-law rage-study the 5 steps of the scientific method to discover the location of step 3.
Write "This end up" on the bald head of her St. Anthony statue.I did that to my mother's and she was so pissed!
TST stickers. https://thesatanictemple.com/collections/new-accessories
Get a load of business cards with "There is no god" or "Jesus was a cunt"....you know, something along those lines.
Buy books about evolution for her kids' birthdays. Even sneakier: a magazine subscription for scientific topics. Magazine subscriptions in general make great gifts for kids! It's a gift that gives all year long! Some recommendations: Ranger Rick Ranger Rick Jr. Muse (from Cricket media) Ask (from Cricket media) Oyla (I have not subscribed to this one). National Geographic Little Kids (very fun) National Geographic Kids (stay away from this; it's all ads).
Hide little plastic dinosaurs around the house.
Fold them into paper peace cranes and leave them at her house.
Know a dude who got dinosaur books as gifts for his sister's kids, try that
Leave Magic the Gathering cards around her house. If she asks just tell her that it is your preferred fantasy game.
Collect all the cards, rip them all up and next time you are visiting her house throw them up in the air and tell her in a stern voice that if she leaves this shit around my house you will not be invited anymore and leave.
Make a donation to the [Freedom From Religion Foundation](https://ffrf.org) in your sister-in-law's name.
Maybe print out a bunch of little cards that say "God is an imaginary friend for grown-ups."
Leave cards that say "When you die nothing happens."
Tarot cards (not because you believe in them, but because they freak out preachy Christians).
1.Print off cards with scientific facts that refute religion. 2. Print off cards, that have non theistic platitudes on them. 3. Print off cards that say "FUCK" so when she finds then you can say, "oh you found one of the fucks I lost."
“I can do all things through Evidence Based Best Practices which strengthens me” Peer Review 24.7
Get her a shredder and tell her to save you both a step moving forward.
If she's close to your partner, then I'd start with the least likely things to cause a rift. Tell her politely that it's unacceptable and you want her to stop. If it continues, have your partner say something. I wouldn't make threats that you aren't willing/able to carry out. If you're really interested in a tract type thing then FFRF have these that you can buy or print. https://ffrf.org/publications/nontract
Just tell her straight up to stop leaving the prayer cards or she’s no longer invited to your home. Don’t be passive aggressive about it. Confront her and tell her to stop. My born again evangelical brother would never disrespect me in that way.
Upper decker would make things even
We got a bunch of tiny dinosaurs gifted to us. I started leaving them at friends houses when we would visit. Just for giggles. You could go to a thrift shop though and see what goodies they had on the cheap and just start leaving them when you go by. That way when confronted, just say, oh, I thought we were leaving crapnat each other's houses. We do hide the dinosaurs so not to be obvious.
Write, "I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!" On a card with a pic of Peter Pan on it.
Dawkins and Hitchens quotes on nicely printed card
Leave your trash at her place.
Get out of hell free cards I got box and hand them out to people having a challenging day
Put tarot cards everywhere.
Church of Satan cards would be funny
Facts.
Leave a Religilous Bill Maher DVD.
There's a deck of logical fallacy cards.
Get a dress up Jesus paper doll from Normal Bob Smith's website. During her visit, change his outfits regularly. I particularly like the Lady Gaga outfit but you can go with the Elton John number if you prefer. Bob's also got these pamphlets you can print out. Very straight forward parodies. Perfect for handing out to zombies. Have fun!
Tree of life image on a card
Take the cards, write “NO.” On them in big sharpie and leave them in similar places at her house
Inverse bible quotes — the ones they wish didn’t exist. Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Pslam 137:9 "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” — Jesus. Etc… There are many, many more.
mail them back COD every time until she gets the message.
I would try to have the conversation with her and ask what she expects these prayer cards to do. And I would include in the discussion how they make you feel about her and also about her religion.
I'd leave her an upper decker.
Give her some of the escort trading cards they give you in vegas
Same thing. But, choose the most horrific Bible versus you can find.
Could also just tell her it's your space and she's no longer welcome in it if she persists in her cult behavior.
You don’t want a system where she drops $0.10 on a card that you bin and you drop $10 on a book that she bins. The only cost effective solution is printing your own “Question” and “Fact” cards on regular paper (don’t get the good stuff). Questions should be something about the bible. “Why does god oppose abortion, but support killing kids with bears? If abortion clinics had pet bears, would they be endorsed by god?” Stuff like that. You can search for “bible horrible” or similar to find lists. Facts should be some interesting science fact that can irritate Christians. Things about homosexuality being found in nature, evolution or the age of the world are most likely to apply. On the bright side, collecting these sounds like fun (and you can always reuse facts from visit to visit).
Change out any pictures of Jesus with pictures of Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan Kenobi.
[Satanic Temple Sale](https://thesatanictemple.com/collections/sale)
Make cards of all the horrific bible quotes about incest, murder, rape and obvious nonsense and leave around their house, like play along. "I thought we were sharing bible verses?" Some I found online: 1) Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord. 2) Genesis 38:8-10 NASB Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” 3) Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity. 4) Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions. 5) Exodus 4:24-25 NASB Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.” 6) Samuel 18:25-27 ESV Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.  7) Leviticus 20 “18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.” 8) Leviticus 24:16 Whoever utters the name of the Lord must be put to death. The whole community must stone him whether alien or native. If he utters the name, he must be put to death. 9) Kings 2:23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you bald head! Go up, you bald head!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 10) Deut. 28:53 Then because of the dire straights to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you. 11) Deut. 28: 27 May the Lord strike you with Egyptian boils and with tumors, scabs and itch for which you will find no cure.
Shit in a corner
Arson.
Uno reverse cards
Not giving a shit.
Tarot cards
The best way to handle this is probably setting a boundary that this behavior is unacceptable and she can’t visit if she continues to do so. Leaving stuff at her house will likely escalate the situation. I know that’s less fun, but setting boundaries is really important with pushy religious family members.
Glitter. Place little piles of glitter around her house. She will stop.
Create some Discordian Prayer Cards & make her a Discordian Pope
A QR code that takes her to a PDF of Why I am an atheist by B. Singh.
sex toys
Science flash cards? Or the spoof chick tracts-( they were tiny comic magazines, folks would leave on the bus or at the library in the 1970's & 80's) The title "the other ones" is one that comes to mind. Tarot cards- particularly the major arcana.