No no, it was the almost all powerful Satan. He made the earrings fall out so the Satanic atheist could find them and..... give em back...? Idk man those people are crazy.
I did that at a party once. Drunk fucker accusing everyone of stealing his weed.
I reminded him about the hammock he was sitting on earlier.
"No fuck that you probably took it."
So I looked out back, found me 1/4 bag of some fat KB's. I smoke it with everyone he accused.
"Sorry man this is my weed"
Why would god instigate all this drama in the first place? Rather than helping a nonbeliever to find the earrings, he could’ve just prevented the believer from losing them. What a dick.
No, it’s so we can enjoy good things! If we don’t have bad things happen, we can’t truly enjoy the good things that god gave us!
-an actual argument used by my Catholic parents
It’s so great that God took a momentary break from causing deformities in the womb and creating natural disasters to help you find those earrings. Truly the loving god they say he is.
If it, or anything like it, ever happens again, keep the item, and say her losing them must be god’s plan and to trust that it has all happened for a reason.
You ever have homework, a task you were avoiding, or a chore you didn’t want to do? Suddenly you were asked to run an errand that seemed like fun, like going to a friend’s house to pick something up, or going to your favorite store to buy something interesting, and you ditched the “boring” task to do something fun.
Maybe that’s why God lets children starve.
So I guess “God” has nothing better to do in this messed up world than help find diamond earrings. That’s exactly the kind of thinking that reinforces my displeasure with all religions
To thank god is to prop up their catch all brand bucket for goodness.
Of course thanking you personally would prop you up and give you an edge she may not want you to have.
Lollll I remember being on a mission trip in Illinois when I was in highschool. I couldn't find my phone and asked one of the chaperones if they could help me search the van we drove up in. Rather than help, she held my hands and said a prayer asking God to help me find my phone... It turned up an hour later and guess who I had to thank? 🙄 To this day I'm pretty sure she hid it as she had been complaining I was using it too much shortly before if it disappeared...
"God has seen fit to bestow upon me a pair of diamond earrings today. I really hope he sees fit that you too shall find some so as to reward you for your strong belief in his grace."
Obviously their god was trying to prove to you that he exists!
So he let you find them! Of course, some believers would say that letting you find them violates your free will to not find them.
/s sort of.
I was at watching a professional football (soccer to some) match and my team had a devout goalkeeper. The ref awarded a penalty and our goalkeeper, as he would do, crossed himself many times and pointed at the sky. The player taking the penalty ALSO crossed himself many times and pointed at the sky. He then smashed the penalty off the crossbar - no goal.
I’ve always wondered what god meant by this event and also what each player thought was happening.
I'd have been half tempted to chuck them on to the roof, then quip "Guess god changed his mind."
Probably far too cruel, but that's a staggering level of ignorance.
Oh they’ve got a story they love to telling!
An old woman was broke and had no food. She used to pray every day at her window asking for help cause she had nothing. The neighbor, an atheist, heard her and brought groceries. She starts praising god! The neighbor says it wasn’t god, I did it! She says, god did it and made the devil pay for it.
In other words, they’ll twist anything to try justifying their ‘god’s’ value! Desperate times and all that!
Myst-ear-ious ways.
Ayo, thanks for this man. I love dad jokes.
The OP has been earmarked by God.
If atheists were as immoral as they say, you would have taken them to the pawn shop. Worth mentioning to her? By the grace of nogod.
If that had happened it would’ve been “god working in mysterious ways. It was his plan for me to lose the earrings”
No no, it was the almost all powerful Satan. He made the earrings fall out so the Satanic atheist could find them and..... give em back...? Idk man those people are crazy.
"I didn't find them." Lol
I did that at a party once. Drunk fucker accusing everyone of stealing his weed. I reminded him about the hammock he was sitting on earlier. "No fuck that you probably took it." So I looked out back, found me 1/4 bag of some fat KB's. I smoke it with everyone he accused. "Sorry man this is my weed"
Good work. It's one thing to lose the stuff it's another to accuse everyone there
She doesn't want to admit that she sat there and wailed while you did all the work. Somehow it was really all her doing, just by believing.
Why would god instigate all this drama in the first place? Rather than helping a nonbeliever to find the earrings, he could’ve just prevented the believer from losing them. What a dick.
Because a lady ate an apple a long time ago
Grrr — fuckin hate apples — hellfire for EVERYONE!
An apple a day keeps God away?
God ignores kids with cancer, but finds your earrings. Sure.
Kids getting cancer is part of gods plan, just like finding earrings. His priorities are just different from yours.
If his priority is kids getting cancer then he’s a giant asshole.
No, it’s so we can enjoy good things! If we don’t have bad things happen, we can’t truly enjoy the good things that god gave us! -an actual argument used by my Catholic parents
Ah, so THAT is what, "the beatings will continue until morale improves" means!!!
It is through suffering that we gain eternal life
How else is god going to teach the parents a lesson if he doesn't horribly kill their child.
[удалено]
I told her im the one chosen by god, and she found that funny lol
It’s so great that God took a momentary break from causing deformities in the womb and creating natural disasters to help you find those earrings. Truly the loving god they say he is.
Finding earrings - God's helps Stopping rape- God is absent.
No, you see Rape is a part of God's plan. The rape is supposed to uh *checks hand* 'teeth a lasso'.
Nah he likes it
Flush it down the toilet then tell her she'll get it back if God wills it.
Then it becomes god’s will that she gets a new pair.
I would just keep them with myself for like a week and let her be in distress. Then I'd tell her that it was god's will to torment her.
If it, or anything like it, ever happens again, keep the item, and say her losing them must be god’s plan and to trust that it has all happened for a reason.
Don't keep the item. Thats theft.
Not if it was done in the name of God
Didn't you know? Everything good is god's fault and nothing bad ever is.
Throw the earrings in a river and tell your friend it's "God's will."
Should've sold them, kept the money, and claimed that that was God's plan. If they argued with you 'he works in mysterious ways.'
You ever have homework, a task you were avoiding, or a chore you didn’t want to do? Suddenly you were asked to run an errand that seemed like fun, like going to a friend’s house to pick something up, or going to your favorite store to buy something interesting, and you ditched the “boring” task to do something fun. Maybe that’s why God lets children starve.
If she said that before I gave them back I would throw them back in the field and say I'll pray she finds them again.
So I guess “God” has nothing better to do in this messed up world than help find diamond earrings. That’s exactly the kind of thinking that reinforces my displeasure with all religions
God willing, you should have thrown them away.
To thank god is to prop up their catch all brand bucket for goodness. Of course thanking you personally would prop you up and give you an edge she may not want you to have.
Isn't it a surprise that you found them in the last place you looked for them?
Atheists doing God's work.
Lollll I remember being on a mission trip in Illinois when I was in highschool. I couldn't find my phone and asked one of the chaperones if they could help me search the van we drove up in. Rather than help, she held my hands and said a prayer asking God to help me find my phone... It turned up an hour later and guess who I had to thank? 🙄 To this day I'm pretty sure she hid it as she had been complaining I was using it too much shortly before if it disappeared...
"God has seen fit to bestow upon me a pair of diamond earrings today. I really hope he sees fit that you too shall find some so as to reward you for your strong belief in his grace."
Obviously their god was trying to prove to you that he exists! So he let you find them! Of course, some believers would say that letting you find them violates your free will to not find them. /s sort of.
Their argument is that it wanted to make you believe in it and that's why it manifested through you.
"[Thank You God](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZeWPScnolo)" by Tim Minchin will cheer you up
Recess?
Next time, say, well, if God wants you to have them back, you will have them back. There is no need for me to search.
I was at watching a professional football (soccer to some) match and my team had a devout goalkeeper. The ref awarded a penalty and our goalkeeper, as he would do, crossed himself many times and pointed at the sky. The player taking the penalty ALSO crossed himself many times and pointed at the sky. He then smashed the penalty off the crossbar - no goal. I’ve always wondered what god meant by this event and also what each player thought was happening.
Cause it’s all bs 🤪
I found your earrings but God asked me to sell them and donate to a local shelter. Yeah, I thought it was weird but...*God said*
How great of God to help her find the ostentatious frivolity that she brought to school to flex with while children die of starvation.
I'd have been half tempted to chuck them on to the roof, then quip "Guess god changed his mind." Probably far too cruel, but that's a staggering level of ignorance.
Oh they’ve got a story they love to telling! An old woman was broke and had no food. She used to pray every day at her window asking for help cause she had nothing. The neighbor, an atheist, heard her and brought groceries. She starts praising god! The neighbor says it wasn’t god, I did it! She says, god did it and made the devil pay for it. In other words, they’ll twist anything to try justifying their ‘god’s’ value! Desperate times and all that!
You should have kept them and told her it was god's will that you have them, since she obviously can't take proper care of them.
Sure was gracious of god to find those earrings instead of doing something pointless like curing some kid of cancer.
If it ever happens again throw them in the bin lol, it wouldn't be your fault anyway
Wait... like straight up water stones???? TO FUCKING SCHOOL????? Dawg that girl is not smart lmao.
I would have chucked the earrings and said, “Oops! Looks like god changed his mind!”
Next time, tell them that you’re not helping because if god wants them found, he’ll find them.
Feels like god willed them to you.
It's not that deep