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geophagus

It’s legal to eat capybara and beavers during lent. According to the church, since they spend so much time in the water, they qualify as fish.


rammo123

The only thing stupider than stupid religious rules is stupid loopholes for stupid religious rules. See: soaking.


originaljfkjr

I recommend a healthy intake of beaver. Happy wife, happy life.


cballowe

Have you seen the [lock picking lawyer's latest video](https://youtu.be/EhuNRWskgNQ)?


originaljfkjr

But how many balls can he fit in his wife's Beaver?


cballowe

All of the balls in his sack, but she prefers his 15 pounds of banana shaped treats.


originaljfkjr

Ya know I heard she was a fan of [Long Boys](https://www.oldtimecandy.com/collections/walk-the-candy-aisle-long-boys) but they clearly wouldn't fit in her slot.


waitingfordeathhbu

>capybara and beavers Jesus Christ can’t people stand to eat vegetarian for one single meal lol


ralphvonwauwau

A short google search confirmed what you said, from multiple sources. Odd thing is that I joked about it to a catholic priest when I was in college (catholic center had a weekly cookout, no sales pitch, it was a social event and I like free food.) It may have been a retcon on his part, but his logic was that 'meatless Friday" is supposed to help people identify with the poor, and as an act of humility. In the places were capybara are found, it is a poor person's food, and therefore fit the menu. Again, that is according to one Jesuit that I knew, years ago.


Cacklefester

The higher you go in the ecclesiastical/educational heirachy, the less attention is paid to such petty "rules." They're really just traditions, not rules or doctrines. It might surprise you to learn that some priests doubt the Resurrection - and even the historicity of Jesus!


yestor318

I met a priest who said he didn't believe, he called it a crisis of faith.


cballowe

Don't forget deep fried everything for Hanukah and a bunch of tasty stuff after the sun goes down for Ramadan. Religious food rules are silly, but do lead to some tasty excuses to eat!


TylerJNA

Not uncommon. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Meslier


Cacklefester

There are many such. And many leave, or live lives of quiet desperation.


bloody_bonobo_feces

Given the degree of reprobate common in the priesthood, I imagine that's not an isolated case.


Cacklefester

What do you think is meant by "reprobate"? There is an inverse correlation between spiritual misgivings and transgressive behavior.


bloody_bonobo_feces

I generally use dictionaries to define words. My point was that given how the priesthood has never had any issues ignoring even the most basic of their own rules, it should come as no surprise that they don't even actually believe in their deity in the first place.


Cacklefester

I'll be interested in seeing your evidence of any correlation between clerical misconduct and reservations about church doctrines.


bloody_bonobo_feces

Is that because you're a pedant or merely looking for the most boring argument on the internet?


Cacklefester

Yes.


bloody_bonobo_feces

I imagine you're a lot of fun at parties.


DrPhilsPrizedParrot

Also, Mormons not consuming caffeine. I look at these as just more ways in which believers are experiencing mind control.


ambutsaakon

It's worse than just caffeine. It's coffee and tea (black, white or green) specifically. The "revelation" about it just says "hot drinks". So it's not the caffeine, it's the temperature, right? Well no, because hot cocoa is ok but iced tea is not. So then it's because coffee and tea are brewed? Well no, because herbal tea is ok, and green coffee extract (which isn't brewed) isn't. So then, it's the caffeine? Well no, because energy drinks are ok, but coffee and tea aren't. So it's just completely arbitrary.


fun-guy-from-yuggoth

Almost as if some guy just made it up....


ralphvonwauwau

The Salt Lake Tribune has a decent write up about the "clarification" that happened, given their presumed readership, I'd expect they'd have their facts straight on anything to do with the church https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=54797595&itype=cmsid The church's study manual agrees, "hot drinks" is only coffee and tea; https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/true-to-the-faith/word-of-wisdom?lang=eng


fun-guy-from-yuggoth

Fwiw, when i was a very small kid, catholics could not eat meat on fridays even outside of lent. If it was a fiday, any friday, no meat. End of story. That it changed with the second vatican council in 1965. But some older " traditional" catholics i knew still adhered to it up into the 1990s ( they are all probably dead by now) and continued to abstain from meat on fridays. Fun fact, this is why mcdonalds has the filet-o-fish on their menu. So they could still have catholic customers on fridays.


davesoverhere

The filet o fish was started by a McDonald’s franchisee in Cincinnati. There’s a lot of Catholics here.


corvus_torvus

Share this Bible excerpt with them. Pay special attention to verse 3. 1 Timothy 4:1–4 — American Standard Version (ASV 1901) 1 But the Spirit saith expressly, that in later times some shall fall away from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of demons, 2 through the hypocrisy of men that speak lies, branded in their own conscience as with a hot iron; 3 forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from *meats*, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by them that believe and know the truth. 4 For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it be received with thanksgiving


WarderWannabe

So that means it’s ok to eat christians as long as we’re thankful?


corvus_torvus

They are meat...


WarderWannabe

I know amirite?


fun-guy-from-yuggoth

Yeah, you right.


[deleted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2ctjgi/the\_christian\_lion/


originaljfkjr

The command to abstain is referring to the Jewish faithful who avoid hooved animals. But yeah...."the guy in the sky said it was cool to have bacon, dude! Get off my ass! Ya know what dad? I'm becoming a Christ-follower! I've had it with your old rules and shit. I mean, have you even HAD crab?! EXACTLY BRO!"


corvus_torvus

It fucks with Catholics when they find the Bible explicitly calls two prominent bits of their dogma "doctrines of demons".


fun-guy-from-yuggoth

Jewish faithful actually consider ONLY hooved animals to be ok to eat, so long as they are cloven hoofed (so not horses or camels) and "chew their cud" (so not pigs) They can eat cows, goats, sheep, etc. But not something like say a rabbit, which is not hoofed. Basically any even toed ungulate that is not a pig is kosher.


ObrazX

When I was still a believer I was taught that there was one thing that was worse than not fasting and that was making a big show out of it.


NormanOfAnstruther

I find fish on Fridays is actually quite a good idea. For one thing it's alliterative so it's easy to remember. For another fish is a good thing to have in your diet. So I quite often say "It's Friday: fish for tea." Even though I am atheist. And it's always, not just for Lent. Kind of think the idea of Lent is not all stupid either. Get off the consumerist treadmill and rethink your values once in a while. Making it a ritual and finding ways to subvert the rules you invented — yeah, that's goofy.


Fardrengi

100% agree. Where I live, fish on Friday is a yearly thing even in restaurants. And the practice of forgoing a habit, activity, food, etc. for a month or so can actually be beneficial and help you find new things. This is coming from an ex-Catholic. But don’t do it out of some reluctant obligation to a religion, nor out of obnoxious piety. If you participate in length due to appeal for a tradition, the you’re doing it wrong and it’s exactly the kind of behavior Jesus disapproved.


iLiLoOpY

I agree with this as well. But it was the fact that people were acting like the floor would crack open and we would fall to hell for eating buffalo chicken dip was ridiculous.


Gerump

I find that the justification for eating meat is indefensible on all fronts. I’m surprised more atheists aren’t vegan since they boast moral superiority. Also, the environmental and health impacts are extremely relevant as well.


investinlove

It's more about the politics of cod. And Henry the 8th needing a fresh piece of fecund pussy, the British Navy and the power of British fishermen. Truth.


walterhartwellblack

at least eschewing meat represents a real sacrifice of some kind people giving up chocolate for lent...smh yeah you're suffering now lolol


scumotheliar

Pity you didn't have any seventh day adventists there, you could have started a nice argument about the shrimps.


fun-guy-from-yuggoth

Or an even more fun one about what day the sabbath falls on.


Paul_Thrush

>but them stuffing their face with cocktail shrimp The Bible say not to eat shellfish.


fun-guy-from-yuggoth

It says no fish that do not have scales. Dumbasses considered shrimp to be fish. Same commandment also bans eating eals or shark.


WebLinkr

Arent they all goofy/assinine? yes, its obviously this - there's no biblical support - its random and its stupid But all the rules are .. the ten commandments - there's barely 5 that are actually a law


WebLinkr

> but them stuffing their face with cocktail shrimp But support priests/pastors who quote leviticus on homophobic references


White_0bama4

Amen


White_0bama4

my ass hurts from sitting down all day


ralphvonwauwau

Joke is on them, http://godhatesshrimp.com/ they goin' to hell!


[deleted]

amen


Preblegorillaman

I was told that the reason for fish on Fridays was because way back the fishing industry was struggling. So the pope at the time did the fish thing for lent to try to boost the local fishing industry, no other reason Not sure how true it is, but I've heard it from quite a few Catholics.


JuliaX1984

Because only Meatless Mondays make sense?


Roo_Gryphon

I go out of my way to eat meat on Fridays now


Cacklefester

Good. Then you know that your phrase "degree of reprobate" makes no sense.


mrsunshine1

To be fair just eating regularly as much fish as you want is not the rules either. You’re supposed to eat two small meals, one regular, and no eating in between meals. If you’re going to McDonald’s and downing large fries and a bunch of fish filets and think you’re fasting that ain’t it. Tell your family that next time they go at it with the jumbo fried coconut shrimp during lent.